Next Level University

#1747 - Authenticity Is EVERYTHING - Freestyle Friday

• Kevin Palmieri and Alan Lazaros

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Have you ever wondered how embracing your authentic self can transform your life? In today’s episode, Kevin Palmieri and Alan Lazaros share personal stories and insights on the power of authenticity in both personal and professional realms. From quirky podcast moments to navigating the social challenges of high school, they explore how being genuine can build self-comfort and confidence, even when things aren’t perfect. Discover how authenticity can lead to unexpected growth and a deeper understanding of oneself.

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For more information, please check out our website at the link below. 👇

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Show notes:
(2:09) Comfortable with yourself
(3:58) Being unique and fitting in
(7:53) Dealing with envy and standing out
(10:26) Self-belief and growth mindset
(14:30) Encouraging and supporting others
(18:30) Meet like-minded people and jumpstart your journey to achieving your dreams while optimizing your life. Join Next Level Group Coaching.

Send a text to Kevin and Alan!

🎙️ Hosted by Kevin Palmieri and Alan Lazaros

Next Level University is a top-ranked daily podcast for dream chasers and self-improvement lovers. With over 2,100 episodes, we help you level up in life, love, health, and wealth one day at a time. Subscribe for real, honest, no-fluff growth every single day.

Speaker 1

Next Level Nation. Welcome back to another episode of Next Level University, where we help you level up your life, your love, your health and your wealth. Today, for episode number 1,747, it is Freestyle Friday. If you're watching this, you can see, because it is dark in my studio and somewhat dark in Alan's studio. I'm guessing your window faces the sun or mine doesn't. Facts, facts. Facts, not opinions.

Speaker 2

Never once thought about it. No, no, I think about it all the time.

Speaker 1

Every time you log on, I think about it, because I can see your shades. It's a whole thing. I'm the artist of the crew. So, as you know, for Freestyle Friday, we usually hop on here and try to just talk about what we're thinking about, what we're going through, what's on the top of our mind. And this is what I landed on today, alan. I landed on the fact that authenticity is everything, and here's why A lot of lessons are connecting, based on a lot of experiences. And I logged into a Zoom room today or a meeting room and I was singing, I was being on a podcast, I was on a podcast and I was singing.

Speaker 1

I always just do like a da-da-da-da and I think I always get really good feedback on that. People are always like, oh my goodness, you're in such a good mood and that's just me trying to be authentic in that moment where I'm kind of a weirdo. When you first meet me, it's very possible that I'm going to be a weirdo, and I think over the years, it went from me saying, okay, I have to when I'm speaking, I have to speak in this way and these are the words I have to use and I can't say this and I can't laugh and I can't make a mistake, and I can't say this and I can't laugh and I can't make a mistake and I can't do this and whatever. We were on group coaching last night and you said anything else, kev, anything from you. And I was like, nah, man, I'm good. That's something I never would have done in the past, because that was me being authentic.

Comfortable with yourself

Speaker 1

I was like I don't think I have anything to add, there's no reason for to add. And I have found that the more authentic I have become, the more comfortable in myself I have become. And then, when you become more comfortable in yourself, you're more authentic. And it becomes this beautiful loop of when I do this, I feel a certain way. When I feel a certain way, I can do this more. And that was my thought, because I think being authentic is one of the hardest things in the world. You've heard me say this before. We all want to be ourselves, but unfortunately, being ourselves is also one of the hardest things in the world. So that's my thought.

Speaker 2

That's where I am for this freestyle friday I think the irony the paradoxes, the paradox the the hardest thing yeah, of course the hardest thing in the world is to be yourself, and I think it's because it takes tremendous courage and I think it's because everywhere where you're very unique is statistically not normal. So whenever you find yourself on the very far end of a statistical abnormality or anomaly, on the very far end of either side of the bell curve, so what's a good example of a bell curve? Okay, take all the basketball players in the world, and there's some a very small percentage that are extremely, extremely, extremely, extremely, extremely, extremely, extremely, extremely good at the sport, and there's a very, very small percentage that can't even play the sport. Most people fall in the middle of the bell curve. It looks like a bell. That's why it's called a bell curve. Anywhere where you don't fall in the majority is scary for humans, and so as you lean into who you are, you fall less and less and less in the majority, and I think it stems everyone knows the feeling in high school, where you don't fit in and you're afraid that your friend isn't going to be there at lunch.

Speaker 2

I was someone who overcame this quote unquote not fitting in by trying to fit in with everybody, so I was friends with the best football player. I was friends with the nerds. I was friends with the popular girls. I was friends with the smart people. I was friends with the computer people. I was friends with everybody. I tried to chameleon my way into all these different groups, even the punk rockers that had guitars. I was friends with everybody and I think two things happened. Number one, I lost myself, and that's been really apparent in my older years. And number two, I learned a lot and became very well-rounded and as I've gotten older, this thing is like digging into my chest. So if I keep moving my microphone, that's why it's really quite uncomfortable. To be honest with you, it's making noise.

Speaker 1

Can you, can you adjust it? Because it's making noise every time you do it? Yeah, and for me that's gonna, that's gonna.

Speaker 2

I have to be out for that reason I see, I see, I see that and I appreciate that it's it needs adjustment for good.

Speaker 1

I'm gonna lean forward a little bit for this one I do not like my mic placement right now.

Speaker 2

I hate it actually, and that upsets me.

Speaker 1

We're trying something new, and when we try stuff, you know new stuff it makes things challenging, for sure you know what it is, kev we?

Speaker 2

I went on a podcast earlier awesome interview, but this new setup is completely different than the other setup, yeah, so so I keep moving my microphone.

Speaker 1

It's a pain in the ass. Yeah, it definitely is not. That was my fear. When we did this, I said look, I'm going to have to move my stuff every time, I know, and you're like no dude, don't even worry about it. And here we are now.

Speaker 2

Well, in my head it was worth it. So I'm not even on the screen now, so let me fix this. Here we go. We're going to do that for today's episode, all right.

Speaker 2

So, number one I lost myself because I was trying to fit in and belong, and belonging is something we all crave as human beings. And number two I was very well-rounded, I fished and I played basketball, I played all the sports and I was with the nerds and the computers and I also with the sports and I was with the nerds and the computers and I also with the sports and all that stuff. So you end up very well rounded, but you also lose yourself, and I think that there's a pro and a con to everything. So as you get older and older and older, hopefully you're learning more and more and more about yourself and hopefully you're having the courage to be more and more and more yourself. But here's the problem when you lean more into who you are, your uniqueness, and you get closer and closer and closer to the tail ends of the bell curve, you are in the minority. So I was on with a Person that I coach earlier today and I was talking to her about abandonment and belonging, and that's been a theme just lately of understanding that stuff and I said, whenever you're on the minority, if you have a fear of abandonment, you're not going to lean into it.

Speaker 2

So she's in her 50s, early 50s. She's in very, very good shape, she exercises every single day and she's very beautiful for her age. Very beautiful for her age. And there was this experience that she had this weekend where her neighbor came over and kind of kind of crapped on her a little bit with the whole you know you're losing too much weight thing and you don't. You can stop now, you don't need to lose anymore. And then completely ignored her and then ended up talking to her husband and at the end of the day I told her I said you cannot inspire others without triggering envy. I said how in shape is this other person? She said not, not. I said how well developed is this person Physical, mental, emotional, spiritual development? She said not, probably two out of 10. And I said well, you got to understand she just doesn't handle envy well. So she ignored you and was kind of unkind to you and in some ways unjust.

Dealing with envy and standing out

Speaker 2

But you have to understand, the more you shine on your end of the bell curve of being in shape in your 50s. I mean, there's not a lot of people that are in magnificent shape in their 50s. So you're going to get some love for that andence and curiosity and awesome attention, and you're also going to get some really negative stuff and you kind of have to own that in advance. I've noticed so. For example, you and I are very grateful to be impacting more people in every regard coaching, speaking, podcasting, writing. It's been great. But we also have to realize in advance that we're going to get more negative comments. We're going to get more people calling us posers. We're going to get more hate, more envy, more. But we're also going to inspire more people, and so one of the biggest distinctions that I've come to recently is that you cannot lead by example and lean into whatever your own unique flavor of greatness is without triggering other people, without sparking envy.

Speaker 2

You cannot inspire someone else without at least a little bit of envy, and everyone handles their envy differently. When you see a guy in the gym who's in way better shape than you, kevin, there's a bunch of different ways Kevin can react and hypothetical Kevin, this isn't the ways he reacts, but there's one you fight, not a physical fight, but you tear him down. Two you avoid him and now he feels unloved or avoided or whatever unlovable or doesn't belong or whatever. So fight, flight. Freeze is the person just disassociates and pretends you're not even there, just kind of like someone who's on autopilot, not really present with you, and this used to happen a lot in my fitness modeling days. I understand this differently now, but these responses happened all the time. Or number four they fawn and they just want to be around you and they want to take a picture with you and they want to be a part of whatever you are and they want to Berg bask in reflective glory. It's like Kev, you know this, you, you taught me this, uh, research this and then told me.

Speaker 1

This is my. I made this up. This is my scientific discovery of the 21st century.

Self-belief and growth mindset

Speaker 2

So Berging, there's Berging and Corfing, it's cognitive biases. Berging is basking in reflective glory. And when your sports team your sports team quote unquote is winning, you want to be associated with them. When they're losing, it's like we suck. I don't want to be associated with them. And so the celtics you mentioned that on an episode recently. So oh, I'm a celtics fan because we win and it's just.

Speaker 2

It's a natural human tendency to want to be associated with status or whatever. So those are the four normal trauma responses fight, flight, freeze, fawn. Those are the trigger responses. All humans have them.

Speaker 2

There's a fifth thing that could happen when kevin sees someone who is in way better shape than him. But this is really really, really, really, really, really, really rare. I actually think it's three percent of the population, if not lower than that, and it's curiosity and reverence. This is the way I would react, and I'm not trying to put myself on a pedestal. I think that you. I think this requires a growth mindset and it requires self-belief. And so if kev has a growth mindset and self-belief, when he sees a guy who, who triggers his envy unconsciously and again this is all unconscious no one's like, oh, I think I'm envious, like this is all autopilot stuff. Kev might get curious and have reverence for this guy and might go up to him and you've done this. I've seen you do this, dude. Good for you, strong work. You did that to me way back and I needed that. That was really great, because I didn't get get a lot of that. I was mostly getting shit on.

Speaker 1

Well, that's unfortunately the way it works.

Speaker 2

Yeah, it meant a lot to me really I'm grateful and, yeah, I really appreciate it.

Speaker 2

But Reverence and curiosity is, holy crap man, good for you. How, how, what are you eating Like do you? What's your diet like what? How do you train this? You know, how did you get in such great shape? That's curiosity. That was always my trauma response. I didn't realize how rare that was until later on, and now I realized that that's the one that's constructive, when, whenever my envy is triggered, I try really hard to to have curiosity and reverence, because to me, greatness is so inspiring. I love seeing people succeed, I love seeing people do amazing things. I mean, I live for that. That's why I love movies. You get to see these people who have and again, obviously fictional and sometimes true stories, but I love the ones that are based on a true story because these people overcame tremendous odds and did something and accomplished something magnificent and it's just unbelievable. And so it inspires me and I have reverence and I also learn from it. I stay very curious and I realize now that you need a lot of self-belief and you need a lot of growth mindset for that.

Speaker 1

If I ever have moments where I villainize, it's usually in something that I don't believe I'm capable of. I would say and fitness is that's not one. I've always believed in myself. When it comes to fitness, that's something I've been doing for a long time, so I've always tried to be quick to say to someone hey man, you're crushing it. And usually it's hey man, you're crushing it because I know it can be you.

Speaker 2

Is it really that simple? From your perspective, it's just someone yeah, okay.

Speaker 2

Yeah, someone, yeah, okay, yeah, yeah, dude, when you have self-belief and your trauma response or your positive, constructive response is what I would call. It is growth mindset and curiosity. Let me learn from this person. Let me be inspired and motivated. You don't really understand why people mistreat you. Like my whole life I've always wondered. I feel like I'm such a I'm by no means perfect but I've always wondered. I feel like I'm such a I'm by no means perfect but I've always wondered like why are people so cruel to me? I don't understand. It never made any sense. It really is starting to make sense now. Genuinely, it had nothing to do with me.

Speaker 1

No.

Speaker 2

Some of it did, some of it was arrogance, yeah, but it's probably less than you originally thought.

Speaker 1

There's someone in the family, someone in our family, that is pretty close to being like a full-time tiktok creator. They do. I don't know exactly what they do.

Speaker 2

I should say our family, you mean next level.

Speaker 1

No, no in in taranai's family oh in the extended family.

Encouraging and supporting others

Speaker 1

Again, I'm always cautious to to let people remain anonymous when they when I don't know whether or not they want to, and I can imagine that there's a lot of people in this person's life who have a little tiktok thing going on who would look at that and not be able to show curiosity and reverence. Because if you don't think you can do it in the beginning I'm sure I wasn't excited for podcasters that were crushing it, because I didn't believe I could crush it. I'm sure of that.

Speaker 2

Isn't that so interesting? Because if you don't believe you can crush it, you won't have. Your response be curiosity and learning and growth. Therefore, you actually won't crush it.

Speaker 1

Yeah, but even now it's not curiosity for me, it's more give love. It's not necessarily curiosity. I don't necessarily go in and ask a ton of questions, it's more I just want you to feel seen.

Speaker 2

Can we talk about why? It's not curiosity, Because that's the cheat code, right? I mean, I remember early on in our relationship you asked me one time something along the lines of how do you know all this? I remember we were doing spreadsheets once. You're like where did you learn all this? I've asked you that many times and it's just curiosity compounded over time well, I think you're more curious than the average person.

Speaker 1

Like I don't. Like I don't. Sometimes it's stuff that, Like I know I could look like the guy at the gym if I wanted to. I just have the belief. I'm just not willing to do what it takes. It's not a lack of knowledge. I don't think Really. I mean, could that person teach me something? Of course, but I don't really care about knowing it.

Speaker 2

I guess I don't have to be why. I'll never that this is good.

Speaker 1

I'll never understand that to me the reason I'm not you doing better is not because I don't know better, it's because I'm not.

Speaker 2

I'm just not doing better in a lot of no no, a lot of it is because you don't know better when it comes to fitness, it's not that's fair right, it's yeah, yeah, but but with podcasting in the beginning it definitely was 100 I tried.

Speaker 1

What happened was I tried to get around people who I thought knew better, and then I realized they either they either didn't really know better yeah, that's been brutal or the way they knew better, was just not aligned with what I wanted to do.

Speaker 1

That was one of the when I went the first ever podcast event I went to I've only technically been to one. I left. I had like a midlife crisis because there were so many people that were doing it in different ways and it wasn't a judgment on them, but it was. It was more. That's not how I want to do it. So I'm not curious at all to how you've done that. That's out of alignment for me. The way you're doing it, you do you, but this isn't a booth I'm gonna hang out at, I don't care but how do you know that you couldn't learn how they're doing it?

Speaker 1

and then take a nugget from that I'm, I'm sure I could, I'm sure I could and I'm sure I could do a better job of that. You know me I'm. I struggle to learn from people I don't like I do. I struggle to learn from people I don't like because if I don't respect you as a, as a person, it's really hard for me to take lessons away.

Speaker 2

It's very, very hard. For me that's called the unliking bias it is. It is super hard. Respect is big if I.

Speaker 1

I told you this behind the scenes. I respect evan carmichael way more now after spending time with him. He's he's a really good dude behind the scenes. Yeah, and everybody in that room is there because he's a good dude and that's why the room was so positive but you said that room of all these successful people.

Speaker 2

So that was yesterday's episode. You mentioned one of the very obvious character traits or attitudes, whatever you want to call it demeanors, personalities, was curiosity.

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Speaker 2

They all have very high self-belief, most of them, I remember one time someone asked me it was one of our early team members, I'll keep it anonymous but she essentially said I don't understand, how do you know all this? And I said this and I meant it I had to know all this, like, in order to achieve my goals. Yeah, so one of the things that sucks about self-belief is if you don't have high self-belief, you won't set real goals that are high, and then you won't learn, because when you don't have goals, you don't have to learn. Like, I don't know anything about HVAC. Now I do, because our HVAC went down and we didn't want to call someone. And we did actually end up getting somebody and then they weren't able to come in until July and then we had to interview. We're not going to listen, let's just figure this thing out.

Speaker 2

And it was mostly Emilia. So she did research and now I understand how the system works. I'm not going to go study HVAC I don't need to know that in order to achieve my goal but I have to study business and leadership and communication and podcasting and speaking and training and coaching and writing. So most of what you know or don't know in life in terms of knowledge and understanding is actually predicated on your goals. But if you don't have self-belief, you won't have big goals. If you don't have big goals, you don't have necessity to learn. And if you don't have necessity to learn you're in so much trouble, because when you don't know much, you kind of can't win in a way unless you're really manipulative, but I don't think anyone wants to. You kind of can't win in a way unless you're really manipulative, but I don't think anyone wants to.

Speaker 1

I think that'll crush your soul. Yeah, I agree, I agree, I don't know. I I think maybe there's the, maybe there's the competitive aspect of it where it's like I'll go figure it out myself. I don't know, I really don't know. I think a lot of it has to do with self-belief when it comes to fitness. I think that's the thing that I've always had the most belief in, more than anything else. So it was hey, good for you. I know you probably don't get this often because you're probably the most in shape everywhere you go, and I've been that in the past for sure, and nobody ever gave me love. It was, if anything, it was quite the opposite.

Speaker 2

Yeah.

Self-belief in achieving goals and giving love

Speaker 1

I remember working out with uh, working out with uh when I was dating someone and they were in college. I remember going to umass. Which umass was it?

Speaker 1

lowell, no, out in the western mass amherst amherst yeah, and I remember working out in that gym and it was like I don't think people like me very much because I'm in very good shape. So I really would have enjoyed. And I have had the experience of someone coming up and saying, hey man, you're crushing it. I don't know if that's my energy, because I would say I probably get that more. Again, I'm shorter. So if I was a giant, if I was 6'5", maybe it wouldn't be the case, but I've gotten that a lot. I've got a lot of people that have come up to me and given me love. So that's, that's the thing.

Speaker 2

The thing for me is know what it feels like to be on, to be on that end. Well, it's intimidating to be really jacked, especially around someone who might be, on any level, insecure. Yeah, and so there was a time in my day where I would have had trouble giving you compliments in the gym when I was really struggling with my physique understandable but honestly I don't know if I can honestly say that, because I think even then I believed in myself, so I that's why there was a short time that was a dark time where I remember struggling to give love yeah

Speaker 2

but it was very short, it was like a three-month period. That was my most depressed time and I I was kind of a shithead a little bit like honestly. I remember I remember there was a very short time in my life where I was so I remember telling one of my close friends I don't feel like myself, I don't feel confident and I don't feel like myself. It's almost like I can't be happy for others and I used to say this Kev, and now it lands, but I never did back then for anyone, but I think now I get it. I used to say if you can't be happy for others, you're a shithead Very scientific. Used to say if you can't be happy for others, you're a shithead very scientific. Yeah, yeah, um, I and I I remember feeling like I was not a good person because I was wasn't happy for others. There was a very short time in my life where I wasn't happy for others and I remember thinking if I'm unhappy for someone else's happiness, I'm a bad person do you still think that?

Speaker 1

Yes, really I don't.

Speaker 2

If you're unhappy for someone else's happiness, you are not a good person. Think that I do.

Speaker 1

What if you're in a bad place?

Speaker 2

You need to, you can still be happy for others, it's very in the worst places.

Speaker 1

Yeah, but you have, you've always had belief. You've never, not had belief.

Speaker 2

Being unhappy for someone else's happiness is the definition of a bad person would disagree, and again, that's fine, we could.

Speaker 1

We don't have to agree on everything.

Speaker 2

That's the that's the beauty unless they're a terrible person, in which case I'm not happy for that.

Speaker 1

I've been there. So I under. I wasn't a bad person. I just didn't think I could. I didn't feel like I was going to be successful. I didn't love myself. I thought I was going to be a loser. I thought I was going to be unsuccessful I was there for a time.

Speaker 2

I was, and I remember feeling awful about myself you weren't a bad person, you were going out of your way to sabotage people's success.

Speaker 1

You just.

Speaker 2

That's true but I I would say that there was some. There was. I remember I would purposely not compliment my girlfriend at the time because I was afraid she would leave me like it was. That was not my best self. That's fair and that's my truth. That's fair.

Speaker 1

Okay, but I think there's a phrase because, yeah, being your best self and saying like you're and again, this is my, that's my opinion, my opinion, your opinion don't have to be the same.

Speaker 2

I do think that if you are, if you're unhappy for other people's authentic happiness Assuming they're actually wonderful human beings, by the way, because my girlfriend at the time was a wonderful person and I remember I was, I was the way, because my girlfriend at the time was a wonderful person and I remember I was I was not happy for her and I remember feeling like icky about it and I remember thinking this is not good, this is bad, I need to go get help.

Speaker 2

And it was a very short time, but it was a dark time and and I want to rephrase what I said because, truth be told, I know that if you don't believe in yourself, I know it's hard to be happy for others, particularly when you don't think your future is bright or you don't think your life it must be nice, must be nice.

Speaker 2

But here's what I would say I don't want to label you a bad person or a good person, because I think that life is a spectrum and we all have dark places and bright spots, and it's a journey. What I would say is you do need to look in the mirror and get help, because if you can't be happy for someone else who's a wonderful person and for their success. You need help, because that's an indicator that you're in the dark. Um, I think it's a good indicator and and, yeah, I, this is a good example of what you opened at top with, which is I'm scared to be me, because I do actually kind of think that a little bit Like I think this world would be a better place if everyone people that are not happy for other people's happiness it's kind of like the crabs in a bucket pull other people down thing.

Speaker 2

But to your point point, not everyone pulls others down. Some people are just alone and then deal with that on their own. So if you're let me rephrase what I said this is my truth if you're unhappy for someone else's happiness and then try to sabotage their success and happiness, you are not a good person. I would agree with that. That. I okay. So that's we got there and hopefully no one takes the other clip. Well, I think it can go both ways.

Character over everything

Speaker 1

That's one of the one of the unique pieces of being on the other side of what is perceived as success in the podcast industry. Again, in business success, we're not, we're not successful. We I, I feel successful, but compared to other businesses we're not really Is. I always try to give love to podcasters who are at the beginning. So I went on a show today and I made it a point. This person just recorded their 100th episode. I was like, hey, congrats on 100. That's huge.

Speaker 1

But some people immediately say, well, it's nothing compared to you. Get out, that's not what I'm saying. I'm not saying it from from compared to me. I'm saying that is congrats on 100 episodes. Take me out of the equation. It's not about me, it's about you. That's why I'm giving you the compliment.

Speaker 1

But I understand that not everybody would do that. Some people with 1700 episodes would say just getting started, huh, and that's not constructive. Is that the truth? That's the truth of of me. Yeah, you're just getting started if you want to come to 1700. But maybe you didn't believe you could get to 100, like me. Maybe you didn't believe you could get to 200 like me. Maybe you didn't believe you'd get to 500 or make a dollar with a podcast or whatever it is, so I think that's an important component of it, too, is some people are probably afraid to be happy for others because the people they've been happy for shit on them when they try to do their own thing. Yes, there's crabs in the bucket that pull you back, but there's also crabs in the bucket who are out of the bucket, that don't help you out of the bucket, and I think those are two, very, very so I have empathy for both sides because I've oh my goodness, my laptop's not charging.

Speaker 1

That's a that would be devastating news.

Speaker 2

That's a huge oversight. That would yeah.

Speaker 1

Where is it? We do have to go in a minute.

Speaker 2

Anyway, I really really appreciate this conversation because a lot of times we say just be good people, Like just be a good person.

Speaker 1

Yes.

Speaker 2

And that's what this podcast was originally built on, which is character over everything. We used to say that all the time hashtag character over everything, what, what is someone who's a wonderful person? And here's the truth too. You lose meaning when there's no delineation. You don't know what a good person is until you've been around a bad one. You can't understand the world if you don't look at the full spectrum of it. So, for example, I was on with someone earlier, nicole. Shout out to Nicole.

Speaker 1

Nicole's on the NLU team. Fyi, you have two minutes. See you next week.

Speaker 2

Yeah, no worries, I also think that's a team member and I think we're going to be good. So they understand. Yeah, because I think this is important. Nicole is one of the best humans I've ever met. She's just unbelievably positive, like couldn't, goes out, goes out of her way at all times to try to be the best, most virtuous human possible. She has a huge heart. She lives a wholehearted, honest, authentic life. She is constantly trying to do the best thing for everyone, not just for herself. She's just, in my opinion, the very definition of a wonderful human being, and of course, she's not perfect no one is Okay but on the spectrum of human beings, she's on the very, very, very, very, very, very, very high end.

Speaker 2

Compared to what? Compared to the people who tear others down, who don't want to see others win, who are selfish and ego-driven, who are constantly sabotaging other people to try to feel better about themselves, who bully people and make fun of people and get other people to feel bad and and manipulate people. So so there are people out there. There are that are manipulative and are not good human beings and and if you don't face that inevitable truth, you're in in so much trouble. And how dare we not give Nicole the credit she deserves for being such a wonderful person. In the only way you know someone's value is to compare it to the alternate, to the other perspective, like when I was, when I stole sunglasses from Target. That was not my best self and I should be held accountable for being not a good person.

Speaker 2

And that's my truth now. Does that mean I'm an awful person and I should be incarcerated and punished? No, that's not what I'm saying. That's too extreme.

Speaker 2

What I am saying is you should not have reverence for someone like me back then as much as you do for someone like Nicole now, and that is my truth.

Speaker 2

And so if you're out there and you're trying to do all you can, with all you have to do, what's best for the world, and you're aiming at the highest possible good that you can believe in and conceive and conceptualize and orient yourself toward, you deserve to be celebrated for that.

Speaker 2

And if you're not tearing other people down, if you're taking control of your own envy, if you're taking control of your own emotions, if you're taking responsibility for your own life, and if you're trying to do your best with all you have and you're really working hard to stay integrous and authentic, I think there's something to be said for that, and no one's perfect. We all make mistakes, but we some of us own them and and and learn how to do better, and so I'm very passionate about this because I don't. I have personally been very, very, very hurt by wanting to believe everyone was a good person, when the truth is. It's just not true. It's not true, and if you want to believe everyone's a good person, you're going to get horribly manipulated, and I don't want to see that happen to anybody.

Speaker 1

But if you believe everybody's a bad person, you're also going to miss out on a lot of stuff.

Speaker 2

And I do not believe that either.

Speaker 1

Not everyone's good, not everyone's bad.

Speaker 2

It's a spectrum and I appreciate you, Kev. This was fire.

Speaker 1

Yeah, this was good. I enjoyed this very much. You got fired up.

Speaker 2

It's a good topic. You got fired up. It's Good topic.

Celebrating integrity and authenticity

Speaker 1

Get fired up. Supposed to be about authenticity. Did we keep it? About authenticity, I'd say, in a freestyle Friday kind of way, we did yeah, yeah, I would concur with that. All right, please. If you have not left us a review and you feel pulled to and it is your truth, please leave us a review on whatever platform you are watching on or listening on. You can't leave reviews on YouTube. Maybe one day you'll be able to, but whatever you're listening to us on, and if you haven't subscribed and you want to make sure you never miss an opportunity to get to the next level, please subscribe on YouTube, whatever podcast platform you are listening to us on. It helps us find more amazing people like you. And when we grow the community, everything grows. We grow as humans, hopefully, you grow as humans, and then bada bing, bada boom, it just keeps getting bigger. What do you want to talk about before I let you go Anything?

Speaker 2

I think just the last thing is one thing that you and I have always agreed on, kev, is that people who take advantage of other people are the worst. That's what. That's what we're against, a hundred percent. And if If you're for love, you have to be against something, and so NLU is helping you all listening or watching build a bigger, better, brighter future and become the best version of yourself. And Kevin and I built this. Really disliking bullies and people who take advantage of other people. That's what we're against and I think we stand firm in that, despite some of these debates. So that's what I want to end with, because I think it's really powerful and it's what we built this on. And if you're out there and you're being taken advantage of, we got you and we're going to help you climb out of that.

Speaker 1

Would you consider this a debate? I don't think that was a debate.

Speaker 2

It was good. I think it was a very healthy. It was a conversation. Yeah, yeah, agreed, okay, I was going to say there was a little bit of a healthy debate, I think.

Speaker 1

You think that was a debate.

Speaker 2

Well, I said some things, and then you said some things, and then we drove to five really beautifully, I thought I feel like that's just a conversation amongst, amongst, uh, amongst jeff's but I also think debates are good. Yeah, you like debates make? Yeah, debates make us I don't. I don't like debates oh well, it was a healthy discord where we both got better yeah and hopefully everyone listening did too right that was, I hope so. That's the ultimate goal, you know selfishly.

Speaker 1

You and I get to grow a ton because of the podcast, so hopefully somebody finds value in it also. All right, we're gonna take off as always. We love you, we appreciate you, we're grateful for each and every one of you, and at nlu we don't have fans, we have family. We will talk to you all tomorrow don't get taken advantage of next explanation.

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Alan Lazaros

Host
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Kevin Palmieri

Host