#1760 - A Common Mistake When It Comes To Clarity

Ever feel stuck waiting for the “perfect moment” to start something important? If so, you’re not alone. In this episode, hosts Kevin Palmieri and Alan Lazaros delve into why waiting can be your biggest obstacle and how taking action, even amidst uncertainty, can lead to unexpected clarity and confidence. Whether seeking clarity in your personal or professional life, this episode provides the motivation and guidance to move forward with courage and conviction.

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Show notes:
(1:58) Clarity through action
(3:57) Experience equals clarity
(5:38) Overcoming fear of uncertainty
(9:27) Lack of clarity is a lack of experience
(14:13) At NLU, we want you to win! So, we’re giving tools and resources to ensure your success. Join our Monthly Meet-up every first Thursday of the month at 5 PM. https:

🎙️ Hosted by Kevin Palmieri and Alan Lazaros

Next Level University is a top-ranked daily podcast for dream chasers and self-improvement lovers. With over 2,100 episodes, we help you level up in life, love, health, and wealth one day at a time. Subscribe for real, honest, no-fluff growth every single day.

Transcript

Speaker 1 0:00

Next Level Nation. Welcome back to another episode of Next Level University, where we help you level up your life, your love, your health and your wealth. Today for episode number 1,760, a common mistake when it comes to clarity. It's going to be a quick, 15-minute episode. We have a team call right before that. We ran over because we do, and we have a new team member. Shout out to Steph. Awesome, great team call. But I got dinner with the fam tonight and I told Taryn I was going to be done about 6. It's about 6.30 right now. As of the time of recording this, I'm already a half hour behind. So we're going to aim for 15 and that way I don't get divorced. Everybody cool with that?

Speaker 2 0:38

All right.

Speaker 1 0:39

No, obviously that's not real, but I do want to make sure I'm not too too late. Okay, I did a call with someone the other day and these are always really challenging calls for me, and I'm sure it's similar for you when I'm doing like a 30-minute breakthrough session with someone. I want to give them as much value as humanly possible and I want them to leave with tactics and you're off to the races. And this person said so. I always say based on where you are and where you aspire to get to, what do you believe is the most valuable use of our time together today? I say that every time. I don't want to teach you something you already know. I don't want to teach you something that doesn't matter. Where do you want to go? And this person said I have all these ideas and I just don't know which one I should make my mission, my brand, my thing. And I said all right, let's go through them, let's list them all. I'll do the whiteboard blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.

Clarity through action

Speaker 1 1:30

And probably 20 minutes into this call, 20 minutes into this 30-minute call, I said to this person. I said, look, I know you feel like you need clarity to take action, but I think you are in a place right now where, unless you take action, you're not going to get any clarity. And I know it feels like you need to see the spot that you're going to land on before you jump. But in this analogy and the way you're doing it, you're not really jumping, you're just taking another step. You're not really leaping off of a cliff, you're taking another step and the beautiful thing is you'll see the next step after that and the next step after that. I said it probably sounds like I am very, very clear on everything that I do, but you're seeing seven year in version of Kev, not one or two or three like you. You're. You're a couple of years in.

Speaker 1 2:20

And this person said I've had this idea for a couple of years and I just haven't pulled the trigger. And I said that's because you've been waiting to find clarity in this stuff, when in reality you've got to get out there and start doing it. And I said now everything seems in alignment, but two years in I didn't really know what I was doing. I didn't really understand how things were going to work out. Now I understand.

Speaker 1 2:44

If we want to get more clarity on how to do something, we have to do it, and we were just having a conversation about that on the team call. We were talking about how one of our clients wants us to write emails for them because they saw our emails that Jerrianne does, and she said this is amazing, I would love for you to do this for me. And we were talking about how we just have to take action to figure out how that's actually going to work. We'll get more clear through action. So I think that's a common mistake I know I've made that a ton in the past where I, well, when this lines up or when this happens, or maybe when I get the answer to this question, a lot of the answers are in the action that we're not taking because we're afraid of not having the answers yet.

Speaker 2 3:26

Yeah, it's like I don't have enough certainty, I don't have enough clarity to move forward. And what is clarity? Clarity is just certainty. I was on with a client earlier today. I showed up to my man, bradley Bradley, what's happening, brother? I don't know if he listens, but if you do, bradley, what's up?

Experience equals clarity

Speaker 2 3:54

He is in a career conundrum where he has three different paths that he wants to potentially take for the next chapter of his life. And we broke it down on zoom and I drew like a kindergartner on my, with my mouse naturally and we drew three paths and we just strategized a little bit about the pros and cons of each path. And I think that it would be very easy for him to get lost in this time where he's just taking basically no action because he doesn't know the future. So he's like, well, what should I be doing with this time, while I'm kind of waiting? Because these three career paths, by the way, are contingent on a couple different things. So there's a new leader coming in and it could be one of two people, and if it's this person, he definitely doesn't want to go down that path. If it's this other person, he definitely does.

Speaker 2 4:41

So he's basically playing a waiting game and it's this other person. He definitely does. So he's basically playing a waiting game and he's like well, what do I do in the meantime? And I said retool. This should be a time to grow and to learn and to retool. And so he's doing different certifications, this, that and the other thing. The problem in life is that we need clarity. Clarity is actually just certainty and unfortunately, you're not going to get certainty until you embark into uncertainty.

Overcoming fear of uncertainty

Speaker 2 5:09

It's this weird conundrum that we get caught in. When people say, well, I just need more confidence, what you're really saying is I need more certainty in my own abilities. When you're saying I lack clarity, I don't know what to do, you're basically saying I'm new to this and I'm uncertain that this is not going to work out. Well, you're essentially afraid of failure or you're afraid of losing people. That's usually what it comes down to You're afraid of failure or you're afraid of success. So you're either afraid that this isn't going to work and you're going to be embarrassed, or you're afraid that it is going to work and you're going to have to lose people, leave people behind, outgrow people, whatever. And so we're stuck in this conundrum. On one end, you need clarity and certainty in order to take action. On the other end, the only way you get clarity and certainty is through taking action, and so you kind of have to just whether you want to frame it as failing forward or you want to frame it as fear chasing. Or you want to frame it as fear chasing or you want to frame it as messy action. All of those are just terms, for hey, you're never going to get clear. Until after you start doing it, get off the fence. Nothing grows on the fence. We're doing next level certified coaching and I said this very blatantly. I did next level certified coaching earlier and it's me, nicole, jerryann and amy and I'm coaching on how to coach, and we talked about sales and how everyone. Sales is really just influence, assuming you're not an unintegrous, horrible human. It's just positive influence and you have to mitigate fears and increase desire if you want someone to sell. So, if you're not taking action, you have too much uncertainty, aka fear, and not enough certainty that you actually want the outcome. And so in sales, that's what you do. You increase someone's desire based on truth and accurate data. Hey, if you do this, I'm pretty certain you're going to be grateful. You did it. Boom, boom, boom. And here's the reasons X, y, z. Hey, I know you're afraid of Z, w, y, but we can mitigate that with X, y, z. So now, all of a sudden, you lower their fear, you increase their desire, boom, action is taken. Or you increase their courage because you can't mitigate the fear. It is what it is. Hey, let's do this. And so ultimately, that's a little sales training right there.

Speaker 2 7:16

But my point is is that we all get stuck in. Well, it's not the right time, when, in reality, that's actually usually usually a mask for fear, and so you kind of have to just say you know what. I'm unclear. And the only way that I'm going to get more clear is if I give it a shot. And I was a fitness coach and I was a mindset coach and I was a life coach and I was a peak performance coach and I was a life coach and I was a peak performance coach and I was a business consultant.

Speaker 2 7:46

And it took me seven years of coaching over a hundred people at this stage to figure out, with thousands of coaching sessions, to figure out that I actually want to do business coaching and I never could have figured that out by contemplating on a whiteboard. Yeah, but that doesn't mean contemplating on a whiteboard. Last thing Kev, kevin and I have had hundreds, if not thousands, of times where we've been in front of a whiteboard trying to gain clarity. So you get in front of a whiteboard, you contemplate and you get as much clarity as you can and then you go. You know what. I'm going to give it a shot.

Speaker 2 8:28

And then you give it a shot and you get experience and new knowledge and new awareness and new learning and new lessons and new failure and new challenges. And then you go back to the whiteboard and you go well, that didn't go so well, what about this? And then you give that a shot and then it does go well. It's like oh, let's double down on that. And so this is the process. It took me seven years to figure out. I want to be a business coach and maybe in seven more years I won't be, but I think I will. I think I've landed on it.

Lack of clarity is a lack of experience

Speaker 1 8:55

But I also thought that the other times, yeah, I wouldn't be a podcast coach if I didn't start coaching in a way that I didn't really enjoy. I didn't really like doing mindset peak performance. I didn't like that. That wasn't it. And I remember telling you I was like dude, I don't know if coaching's for me. And then eventually it was okay. This podcast thing is happening. Tara and I have a couple that we hang out with occasionally, amy and Jack, and one time we were over we got dinner and they were like hey, do you want to play Clue? You ever played Clue? And I was like no, I've never played Clue.

Speaker 2 9:29

Explain it to me. That's awesome.

Speaker 1 9:31

Explain it to me.

Speaker 2 9:35

It was Mr Plum, in the billiard room with the candlestick.

Speaker 1 9:37

How do you play? Well, you roll a dice At first, you're given a bunch of cards and you ultimately have to solve a murder. You roll some dice, you end up in different rooms and I get to the point where people are explaining things to me where I say, honestly, I just got to play. That's the only way I'm going to learn. I got to play and that I think that's a really good way of thinking about it. We're probably going to play gin rummy tonight After we eat dinner with pops. We play gin. Same thing Pops. How do you play? And he was explaining it.

Speaker 1 10:04

I was like, honestly, deal, deal him out, deal him out, shuffle him, shuffle him and deal him out. I'm not going to be able to learn unless I I understand that. Yes, I can probably gain some supplemental clarity, but I need to get some experience under my belt. I think oftentimes lack of clarity is lack of experience. Last thing, on this point I've been dealing I have no idea what's going on with my hamstrings. You ever get that terrible pain behind your knees when, you like, squat down for too long emilia does?

Speaker 2 10:36

I don't. For me it's the front of my kneecap I got nothing.

Speaker 1 10:41

It has been debilitating, like when I'm when I squat down for a couple minutes to clean the litter box. I almost can't stand up because the back of my knee hurts, my hamstring where it connects to my calf hurts so bad Damn. And I've been doing a ton of research, as I do. When I get injured I'm physical therapy things, whatever Yoga do. I need to be more mobile. What's going on here? I don't know what the hell is going on. I went and did legs yesterday because I was like, honestly, I can't wait anymore. I'm sick of waiting and I'm sick of trying stuff and I'm sick of doing research. Nothing's working. I'm going to go see if I can actually do a leg day because I'm just unclear. I don't have clarity on whether or not I can even do the exercises I want and I'm out here waiting until my leg feels better. The legs I had a great leg day, no pain Zero. Now today I'm in a lot of pain, but it doesn't hurt when I do legs that way. So that clarity for me is super.

Speaker 2 11:38

It's new data, it's new data.

Speaker 1 11:40

It's new data. So I got to figure out what to do about that. But I got to the point where I said I would rather have accurate information on what's actually happening. I'd rather go to the gym and have to leave because it hurts, then skip leg day again because I don't know if I can do it or not. Sometimes, when we think about it, we overthink the uncertainty. Well, what if this happens? What if this happens? It might happen, this happens, it might happen, but you'll never know what's going to happen until you take action first. And then you're going to get some layer, some layer or some level of of clarity.

Speaker 1 12:16

And it was really nice to see this unfold when I was talking to this person, cause I got to the end of the call and I was kind of like that really wasn't super valuable. I feel like I didn't add that much value to the person and I said was that good? You feel like you took value away and they said this was life-changing, because I've just been stuck on the fence this whole time and for me I it wasn't super powerful. But sometimes it takes somebody else to show you something that you've been looking at for two years and just say hey, I don't't think I think you've gotten all the clarity you can get. You have a list of this 15 things. The problem is you have a list of 15 things and none of these have become real in the real world yet.

Speaker 2 12:56

Of course, you don't feel clear at nlu, all of us have a word for the year and kevin's is finality. I always think of fatality and mortal combat back in the day. Finality and the reason why he chose that word correct me if I'm wrong, kev is he was sick of being on the fence about stuff.

Speaker 1 13:19

Sick of overthinking stuff. I just want to make a choice and accept the positive slash negative that comes with it. Oh, okay, that's what we're gonna do. You and I had a conversation right before this episode. I was like, yeah, cool, good done, it's gone, it's out of my brain. Will positive come? Sure, is there potential negatives? Absolutely. But yeah, cool, let's, let's do it, let's move forward.

At NLU, we want you to win! So, we're giving tools and resources to ensure your success. Join our Monthly Meet-up every first Thursday of the month at 5 PM.

Speaker 2 13:40

So yes, yes, you mentioned something earlier via earlier, via text. You're experimenting. Yes, you audioed me and you said, yeah, I just wanted to experiment. And I said, oh, you are quite the scientist. Something like that. And that's what a scientist does is they do a bunch of experiments to see if what works and what doesn't work. I'm, you need to think and you need to analyze, you need to contemplate, you need to research. I'm with you. You don't want to go to mount everest, right, having, you know, not done any research. But you also don't want to do mount everest, not having ever climbed. You have to climb the mountain, do research, then climb the mountain, then contemplate. So I have something called the learning loop that I think is unbelievably powerful. It's humble curiosity. So kev hurts his knee Humble curiosity. Okay, what the hell's going on with my knee?

Speaker 1 14:30

I'm humble enough to know that I don't know what the hell's going on. Let me do some research, alan. Both of them, both knees, both knees same time. It sucks yeah.

Speaker 2 14:39

New knowledge is gained from humble curiosity. So you learned something. What did you learn about your knees?

Speaker 1 14:44

So you learned something. What did you learn about your knees? I learned a lot. I learned oftentimes a torn ACL, meniscus mostly, can bring pain in the back of the knee and if any physical therapists are listening and I'm incorrect, that's on me Maybe I learned some bad information. But yeah, I learned that it could be arthritis. I learned a lot of stuff Some exercises, some soft mobile, some tissue mobilization.

Speaker 2 15:13

Okay, but eventually you gain all this new knowledge.

Learning Loop

Speaker 1 15:17

And then what, If anything? I'm less clear now. Honestly, I'm less clear because there's more options.

Speaker 2 15:24

Yep. And now you have to make a new choice. That's step three. So number one is humble curiosity, number two is new knowledge and number three is new choice. You have to make a choice and then when you make a choice, you get a new experience. And when you get a new experience, then you have new reflection. You reflect on that experience. So you go do leg day. You're like okay, that went really well, nice. And the next day it's like, ooh, okay, still there, it doesn't make any sense. Then you go back to humble curiosity and you do research again. Number one is humble curiosity, number two is new knowledge, number three is new choice, number four is new experience. Number three is new choice, number four is new experience and number five is new reflection. That's the learning loop.

Speaker 2 16:07

You're never going to become a great podcaster without podcasting. But you also can, while podcasting once a week, in between the weeks, you can learn from other great podcasters. You can. You can accelerate the snowball, but you can't skip steps.

Speaker 2 16:17

I've been saying that a lot in my coaching you. You want to start a business. I can teach you, but you have to also start the business. You have to be on the field every Sunday in this sports analogy and yeah, I can coach you, but you got to be on the field, you got to implement what I can't just coach, coach, coach, coach, coach. You have to implement and then coach and then implement, and then coach, implement and then coach. Reading books is great, but it's not gonna. No one ever got successful from just reading books. They had to also implement what was in the book and so, yeah, it's simple, but it's it's so overlooked and at the end of the day, do you have a lot of people? There's a scale of risk aversion. It's a bell curve and kev was very risk averse. I was very reckless, and I think that you're reckless in certain athletic endeavors, for sure, but you were risk averse when it came to business and failure and success, and although I do think you're reckless with money too, but anyways.

Speaker 1 17:17

So you're a unique case study.

Speaker 2 17:19

Yeah, I don't think I should use you. Zero to 10, how risk-averse are you? So 10 would be. You need 10 out of 10 clarity to do anything. Zero means you're reckless and you're just like screw it, let's do it. If you are a five risk-averse, that means you need level six clarity in order to move forward. And so maybe you hire a coach who gives you a little bit of clarity and then and guidance, or if knees, hire a physical therapist. Now you have more clarity, now you can move forward. So at the end of the day, it depends on you, but ultimately you're going to have to eventually make a choice and move forward, and I do.

Bias toward action

Speaker 2 18:00

I do think that successful people I'm just going to say this they do have a bias toward action. I don't know if you've noticed this and I don't want to toot my own horn here, but I also want to use me as an example. I don't sit on the fence about much very long, yeah for sure. I'm like let's just do this, let's give it a shot, let's go, let's do it. And messy action erring on the side of action, having a bias toward action. I emily, and I do this all the time behind the scenes. Are we going to the gym tonight? Are we going for a walk? Are we going to go to the track? Like I need to know. I need to know so we can move forward. Momentum is so important and you lose momentum when you're constantly contemplating, but you also need to contemplate in between, so it's a duality. You have to do both.

Speaker 1 18:46

It's another challenging episode, because if you're taking a ton of action, maybe you do need to take a step back and look from 30,000 feet, but if you're only looking from 30,000 feet, if you're building let's say you're building a stadium it's really good to get a 30,000 foot view of that stadium. Well, this is what it's going to look like. This is where the parking lot is. This is where the entrance is. Alright, we have to pave this awesome. But eventually you have to go land the helicopter and then get down on the ground and tell people like, alright, this is kind of what we came up with, let's make this a reality now.

Speaker 2 19:18

Then you have to go back up in the helicopter, though.

Speaker 1 19:20

Well, you kind of rinse and repeat. But that's why it's. That's why these episodes are always so challenging, because there is again, there is no truth. One truth If you're on the ground every day doing it, maybe it's time to step back and take a 30,000 foot view. If you're 30,000 feet up, it's, maybe it's time to take go down to the ground and start moving stuff around and see what happens. But I think that would be my lesson for myself in this episode is I think clarity comes from experience, and the only way to get experience is to take action. The only reason I can help someone in podcasting is because I've just taken more action and I have more experience. So I can look and say you don't have the experience in this yet. You need to go do that, and then you'll get this experience. And then these are the results you might get and bada, bing, bada, boom. So that would be my takeaway from me here.

Speaker 2 20:08

Last thing I do, like I mentioned next level certified coaching and I said it's time to get off the fence.

Momentum and finality

Speaker 2 20:14

I need to know. So Amy and Lizzie are both already coaching Nicole and Jerrianne are both already coaching nicole and jerry and aren't yet, and it's because they're overwhelmed. But nicole just did her first session where she's actually coaching amy and amy's a pretend client, just so she can start figuring out. I told you, I told them this, you might hate it. You might absolutely hate it. So if that's the case, let's figure that out sooner rather than later, so you don't waste any more of your time. None of us have extra time. Time is the most valuable asset. So if you're sitting on the fence, just remember this Nothing grows on the fence. Nothing grows on the fence. You have to make a choice, and we're so afraid to make the wrong choice that we make no choice, which is the worst choice? Momentum, momentum, momentum, momentum, momentum, momentum. I mean I I regret some of the choices that I didn't have the courage to make, because I did, I just wasted time.

Speaker 1 21:10

Same and that's why finality was my word to make a decision and go with it and accept the consequences and beneficial byproducts. And that's what I'm trying to do, more and more and more. Next Level Nation. If you want to get a little bit better every single day again, just a little bit better. You're not going to change everything overnight. Make sure you are subscribed on whatever podcast platform you are listening on or if you're watching us on YouTube, subscribe there so you never miss an opportunity to get closer to the next level. We'd appreciate that very very much, sir.

Speaker 1 21:45

Sorry, uh, I said sir, what do you have?

Speaker 2 21:47

because you're looking at me weird sorry okay sorry again my bad we have a new announcement and so next level university is not only the brand, but it's also the business and it's this podcast life, love, health and wealth. You know that it's also the business and it's this podcast Life, love, health and Wealth. You know that it's self-improvement, it's fulfillment, it's self-awareness, it's self-belief, it's self-worth. It's all the stuff, it's holistic self-improvement in your pocket, from anywhere on the planet, completely free.

Speaker 2 22:15

Kevin has a podcast called Podcast Growth University. So if you want to grow yourself, next Level University is the place. If you want to grow your podcast Podcast Growth University is the place, and I'm starting a podcast called Business Growth University. So we now have the triangle. If you want to grow yourself, next Level U is the place Pun intended. If you want to grow your podcast, podcast Growth U is the place. If you want to grow your podcast podcast growth you is the place. If you want to grow your business business growth you is going to be the place. I don't have a launch date yet, but I do know what's going to happen. I'm going to be doing an episode a week, similar to kev, and if you're a podcaster who wants to grow your podcast, reach out to kevin. Do a free session with him.

Speaker 2 22:58

I was on a podcast two days ago and Guinevere wanted to get on with Kev. He will help you not skip steps. He will help you not step on as many landmines as we did. Business same deal If you want to start a business, want to grow a business, want to scale a business my youngest is 16. My oldest is 63. Anywhere from hey, I want to start a YouTube channel. I'm brand new to. I've been in business for two decades and I'm a multimillionaire. I've coached everything in between. The first session is completely free. If you want to grow your podcast, reach out to Kev. You want to grow your business, reach out to me.

Speaker 1 23:34

I'm convinced nobody does as many free calls as we do and I like that. I respect that from. I'm not hyping us, but I enjoy that. I enjoy the fact that we do free calls Because if I was somebody who was in the community I would want to do a free call to connect with someone before I did anything else.

Speaker 2 23:49

So I respect that I love meeting the listeners man, I think in hindsight, that was probably the most important thing we've ever done. I would agree. I said that today on a podcast.

Speaker 1 24:02

I said I used to give my cell phone number out and I would hop on FaceTimes with people and the host was talking about like, oh, that's how you got clients. I said no, no, there was no services. There was no products. I wasn't coaching, I was just trying to get to know people. I thought that would be valuable.

Speaker 2 24:14

That's why we did it.

Speaker 1 24:16

It was it in retrospect, all right, as always, we love you, we appreciate you, grateful for each and every one of you, and at NLU we don't have fans, we have family. We will talk to you all tomorrow.

Speaker 2 24:27

Take action with courage. Thanks, Civil Nation.