#1770 - Feeling Behind Isn’t Always A Bad Thing…

Are you optimizing for results or savoring the daily grind? In today’s episode, Kevin and Alan discuss why feeling behind might not be as bad as you think. They annotate the conversation with a young gym employee about the importance of accountability and the positive side of feeling behind. They also dig into the idea that constantly pushing yourself out of your comfort zone, even if it feels tough, is essential for long-term success. Whether aiming for substantial results or cherishing each day’s experience, this episode will provide you with thought-provoking perspectives to guide your decisions. Tune in and get inspired to make intentional choices that align with your priorities and propel you forward.

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Show notes:
(1:47) Conversation with Mason at the gym
(4:36) Feel good or get better?
(6:19) The way success works.
(8:43) Meet like-minded people and jumpstart your journey to achieving your dreams while optimizing your life. Join Next Level Group Coaching. https://www.nextleveluniverse.com/group-

🎙️ Hosted by Kevin Palmieri and Alan Lazaros

Next Level University is a top-ranked daily podcast for dream chasers and self-improvement lovers. With over 2,100 episodes, we help you level up in life, love, health, and wealth one day at a time. Subscribe for real, honest, no-fluff growth every single day.

Transcript

Speaker 1 0:00

Next Level Nation. Welcome back to another episode of Next Level University, where we help you level up your life, your love, your health and your wealth. Today, for episode number 1,770, we're going to hit you with a quick one 10 to 12 minutes. Usually we say that and it ends up being 3 hours long, but we're going to try to make it a short one today. Feeling behind isn't always a bad thing, so I go to the gym pretty much at the same time every day, 7.45 to 8 am, and there's a gentleman who works behind the counter. Shout out to Mason, and I remember his name by Mason Jar. So when I forget his name, I just think Mason Jar, mason Cool.

Speaker 1 0:41

I think, that's like there's some hack, that that's like mnemonics or something, I don't know. It's a way to help you remember people's names. I'm not good with names. Him and I kind of have a conversation. Every time I go in I'll be like, hey man, he's super positive, super positive kid, and I could say that because I'm older than him. And him and I were talking today and I asked him last week I said how old are you? And I asked him last week I said how old are you? He's got 20. And I was like you're 20?, you have so much time. You have so much time. 20? Good for you.

Conversation with Mason at the gym

Speaker 1 1:12

So we were talking today and we were talking about the 10 pound in 10 week challenge and why we were doing it. And he knows about the podcast and if he's listening, shout out You're a great human. I told you that today and he said you're just dieting to diet and I said well, what I've really started to understand is, after COVID, I never really got it back. I never really got back into the shape that I had before COVID and I understand that I'm not going to do it unless I create a lot of necessity and accountability, because I said I'm suffering pretty bad at this point and I told him. I said I'm eating 1,400 calories and he's like why, why? And I explained it and he said yeah, you know, I feel similar. I don't know, I've kind of lost it. I work at a gym but I don't really work out that much, not as much as I need to.

Speaker 1 2:00

And we were having a really cool conversation and I said you have to understand, I didn't say that, but I think it was something along the lines of well, sometimes it feels really good to be behind because it lights a fire under your butt. Because he said I feel behind. Sometimes I feel behind and I said it's easy for me to say that you're not because I'm a decade and a half further along in this journey, but it really depends on what you do with it. If you feel behind and that lights a fire under your butt, that's probably a good thing.

Speaker 1 2:30

Honestly, maybe going back to last episode, posing a question as a jump-off point would you rather feel behind or would you rather feel ahead, when maybe neither of those are actually truthful, but I would say, statistically, it's usually you're probably statistically more behind than you are ahead, depending on what you're doing. But I would rather feel behind than feel ahead. If you feel behind, you're going to keep your foot on the gas. If you feel ahead, you're going to take your foot off the gas. Go ahead now. Use your words, say your words, say something with them.

Speaker 2 3:09

One of the toughest topics ever, because I always used to say this and I think maybe it will land after the monologue you just gave, which is you can either feel good or get better. Never both. I'm playful with it.

Speaker 1 3:22

Yeah, yeah, yeah yeah.

Speaker 2 3:24

Getting better, feels good, but not really. It only feels good after. So I've been doing mobility every day for the 2024. The 2024. For 2024. And in 2023,. I struggled, I was inconsistent, I could not get on the yoga mat.

Speaker 2 3:43

While I'm on the yoga mat, it doesn't feel good, nothing about it is fun, nothing about it is enjoyable. I don't really like it. I never really have to be completely honest. I mean, occasionally, the ROMWOD videos we use are nice, but really, yeah, it kind of sucks. I don't really like it. I'd much rather be doing other things. I do like it when I listen to a specific book that's really intriguing or something like that, but for the most part it just sucks.

Feel good or get better?

Speaker 2 4:10

So, let's say, 90% of the time, mobility sucks, fair, it feels like I'm behind while I'm on the mat and I feel like I'm not very flexible. Seriously, I I've been doing it for half a year and I still don't feel that flexible on the yoga mat. And the reason why is I'm stretching, literally and metaphorically, past my current, a little bit past my current, my current, a little bit past my current abilities. I've got these long giraffe legs, so I I try to touch my toes and it's not easy for me. I can do it, but it's not easy for me. If I were to teleport back to the first day of the year, january 1st 2024, I guarantee you I would feel way ahead.

Speaker 1 5:01

But I don't you mean with your current, in comparison?

Speaker 2 5:04

yes, right now. If I were to watch a video of me stretching right, I would feel so far ahead. But on the day-to-day I don't feel ahead at all. I I'm actually so. My left is definitely tighter than my right. I have trouble holding my toes on my left quite a bit. Still. My right is kind of good and again good is in quotes like I'm not super. You know, 10 minutes a day is only going to do so much. Let's be real. I would feel ahead if I looked back six months, but on the day-to-day I never feel ahead, and I do believe that's the way success works in all things.

Speaker 2 5:41

After I get off the yoga mat and, let's say, I go to the gym that night, there are things I notice where it's like oh yeah, my shoulder feels really good. I was doing bench press the other day and I was. I had that moment of this used to hurt, this used to hurt a lot. I've been doing the bands a lot and so that moment feels like I'm ahead. But the next day, on the yoga mat, I go right back to feeling like why the hell can't I touch my toes easily when I've been doing this for six goddamn months?

The way success works

Speaker 2 6:12

I think that's the way life works when you feel good, you are most likely not outside your comfort zone. Being in your comfort zone feels good. That's the problem. But you know, what else feels good is progress, and progress only comes from ironically, paradoxically going outside your comfort zone, which doesn't feel good. You feel behind, you feel inadequate, and then you push past that so that you can actually feel adequate. So it's almost like you have to feel inadequate and crappy on the micro day-to-day in order to feel adequate. So it's almost like you have to feel inadequate and crappy on the micro day-to-day in order to feel adequate and great long-term.

Speaker 1 6:47

I think I agree, but I just understand how challenging that is for people Because, again, you don't, you, not you the collective you you don't really want to be miserable the entire time. You're chasing your goals and that's why I'm so big. Now on, I don't care what your goals are, I care what process you're willing to do. That is my new frame. I don't care what your goals are, I don't care, because the goals don't matter unless you're willing to do the process long enough. That has been my new frame for stuff.

Speaker 1 7:14

Just because I think again, if you, if you told me seven years ago what it was going to take to get here, I would have had a higher level of awareness of whether or not I actually wanted to do it Now. Did you know? I think obviously you knew better than I. Did you know exactly? No right, I don't think anybody really knows exactly exactly. But that's a whole. That's the challenge of it. That's the really challenging piece of it is maybe you can just try to play like you're behind. I'm sure we've all seen a video of someone who's like winning the race and then they start celebrating early and then they get passed by someone they end up going from first place to second place that's in there metaphorically.

Speaker 2 7:56

Yeah, yeah, that's in business. You and I do that on the reg. Yeah, that's not, that's not great, but alan and I had a conversation today.

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Speaker 1 8:03

We said we just gotta play like we're losing, play like we're losing, play like we're losing. But also I understand and this is just, this is my perspective I understand how constricting that can feel. It does feel constricting when you're playing like you're losing at times, and maybe that's a me thing, I don't know, maybe that's just unique to me, but I do agree. I think that I know a lot of people who are always playing like they're winning, but they're not really winning. They're playing like they're ahead and they are ahead that day, but then they wake up the next day and you can't pretend you're ahead again. You can only do that for so long. It's like it's like the people who photoshop their pictures, like eventually you're gonna have to go out into public and people are gonna see what you really look like. That's why I don't pretend I'm six foot five, because eventually someone's gonna see me and be like what? What happened? Oh yeah, no, I I was. I was in a hydraulic press and it. It compressed my body and now I'm 5'5". Eventually you cross the line of oh, I can't pretend what I'm pretending anymore. It just you can't. But I don't think it works. It only works that way.

Playing like your losing

Speaker 1 9:25

On one end, you can pretend you're behind forever. You can pretend you're behind forever if you want, as long as your self-belief and self-worth and identity allows you to do it. I would rather be there, I would rather pretend I'm behind forever. So right now, on the diet, I am behind. But even if I wasn't, I wouldn't be getting cheat meals and letting it go. I would say cool, maybe you are ahead, maybe statistically, I've lost more than 50% of the weight that I need to in 40% of the time. Awesome, great. That doesn't mean I take it easy. I keep doing what I'm doing because that's the thing that has actually created the results and that has created the opportunity for me to get to the destination quote unquote earlier. But it doesn't mean I take my foot off the gas. So that's kind of my perspective. You have two minutes to speak and then we got to go because Alan has a call.

Speaker 2 10:20

I think the Kevin and I have done episodes similar to this for seven years.

Speaker 1 10:25

Yes.

Speaker 2 10:26

And I think that's a good thing, because this is one of the fundamentals. Yes, a great investor sacrifices short-term pleasure for long-term betterment, metaphorically and literally. I think everyone has to have the honest conversation with themselves of would you rather feel good now or later? Because I had a mentor one time. He said, alan, you feel really good on the beach, I feel really good at the bank. He said, let's switch. And I was like, yes, need to switch, and that was when I was broke. But now I feel better at the bank and I don't feel nearly as good as I used to at the beach.

Speaker 2 11:06

And other people will say well, what do you mean? You're in such good shape. It almost doesn't matter what you think. I appreciate you and thank you for thinking that I'm in great shape. But I know someone who's in better shape than 99.9% of people I know, and she still disagrees that she should take it easy because she wants better, and so it all depends on the goal.

Speaker 2 11:29

So you have to decide within yourself. Do you care more about the experience or the result? You really do have to decide that, because otherwise you're just going to beat yourself up on the other end of it. I've tried to be experience driven. I've tried to care more about my day-to-day experience and enjoying myself and stuff like that. I'm not fulfilled. When I do that, I know I'm letting myself down, and so I was on a podcast earlier. Her name was Dr Dee Dee. She spent 25 years becoming a doctor. She's in the medical field. She's been Massachusetts, new York City, down in South Carolina. She's doing it. She's got it going on. It was an awesome interview. She's an achiever through and through, and when I talk to achievers I can tell because they don't really care how much it sucks. It's almost irrelevant how much the process sucks. If you don't resonate with that's okay, but you have to face that that is going to mean you're going to get less results than someone who doesn't care.

Speaker 1 12:31

That's fair.

Results Vs. Experience

Speaker 2 12:32

Like if someone, if person A and person B you know I had two minutes I know If person A and person B. Person A cares about the experience of the day-to-day and they don't care as much about results. They're always going to optimize for the best experience in the moment, which means they're not going to have as big of results later Versus someone who cares more about results. They're going to sacrifice the experience in the moment, which I do regularly, but they're going to have bigger results. So own whichever one you are. Whichever one you are, be a good one. Shout out to Jerrianne she brought that to me and I think that was an Abraham Lincoln quote or something I don't know, but I love that quote.

Speaker 1 13:12

The key is to be honest with yourself. That's a really I think that's a really good frame results versus experience Because at least that way you can decide. Maybe I'm okay with if I'm going for the experience of the day-to-day, I'm just going to say I'm ahead, I'm ahead, I'm ahead of that, I'm not behind. If you care about the results, you're going to say you're behind, and I think that's a really good way. And then there's some mixture of that. Okay, we got to get you out of here. Make sure you subscribe if you have not yet, on YouTube, on whatever podcast platform you're listening on.