#1777 - Juggling Confidence And Humility

Have you ever wondered how to feel good about yourself without seeming arrogant? In this episode, hosts Kevin and Alan discuss the tricky interplay between confidence and humility. They share personal stories, insights, and practical tips to help you understand why believing in yourself is vital while staying grounded. Listen to learn how self-belief and humility can shape your interactions and perceptions.

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Show notes:
(2:48) Confidence and humility
(4:38) Vulnerable, leadership qualities, and humility
(9:09) Perceived arrogance
(14:24) How to build humility?
(17:36) Reflecting on personal growth and change.
(19:12) Next Level Dreamliner: the planner, agenda, journal, and habit tracker to rule them all. Get a copy: https://a.co/d/f1FWAQA
(22:07) Importance of humility in personal development
(26:08) Perception Vs. Reality in humility
(30:36) Personal reflections on past arroganc

🎙️ Hosted by Kevin Palmieri and Alan Lazaros

Next Level University is a top-ranked daily podcast for dream chasers and self-improvement lovers. With over 2,100 episodes, we help you level up in life, love, health, and wealth one day at a time. Subscribe for real, honest, no-fluff growth every single day.

Transcript

Speaker 1 0:00

Next Level Nation. Welcome back to another episode of Next Level University, where we help you level up your life, your love, your health and your wealth. Today, for episode number 1,777, 1777, juggling Confidence and Humility.

Speaker 1 0:18

I remember Alan and I had a conversation one time and we were talking about how we were talking about the Rock and we were talking about how we were talking about the rock and we were talking about how the rock seems like he's super vulnerable. And then then we got to the understanding and I don't know if it's real or not, this is my perception of the understanding that since the rock is so intimidating, he needs to be way, way, way, way more vulnerable to even seem relatable. And then we started to think of people in our lives that were not intimidating at all and they didn't have to be as vulnerable. So for the Rock, vulnerability makes him look strong. For someone who doesn't necessarily have the same amount of quote-unquote strength that the Rock does, they don't need as much vulnerability to make them look strong. We're not talking about any of that today, but but what we're talking about does have to do with that.

Speaker 2 1:13

Nice job, yeah, I appreciate that that was good, you gotta pause.

Speaker 1 1:15

You gotta pause. So we're talking about juggling confidence and humility. If Alan is more confident than me, imagine, hypothetically speaking, imagine a world where Alan Lazarus is more confident than Kevin Palmieri. Just imagine what that world would be like. Alan has to be more humble than me or he will seem arrogant. So if Alan is level 10 humble sorry, level 10 self-belief, level 10 confident if he has level 7 humility, it's probably going to come off as a level 3 arrogant. Yeah, now, this is kind of a.

Speaker 2 1:50

That's devastating news. It is devastating news.

Speaker 1 1:53

Who knew, not believing in yourself could be such a superpower?

Speaker 2 1:57

There's not strengths with every weakness, my friend.

Speaker 1 1:59

It's not hard to be humble when you have level 2 self-belief Agreed. It's not as hard. So that's kind level two self-belief Agreed, it's not as hard. So that's kind of what we're talking about today. Again, this is kind of a newer thought in NLU. I would say this is kind of like a I don't want to say the flavor of the week, but this is kind of a new awareness that we've had, and I think Alan led the charge on this.

Confidence and humility

Speaker 2 2:29

So I'll kick it to you and we'll see what happens. So the first thing I want to share is I actually, when you and I first met and this is for anyone watching or listening I want you thinking about your own level of confidence. Kevin and I talk a lot about ourselves, but it's it's really so that you can we're holding up the mirror so you can self-assess. So when I first met kev, I thought that I was significantly more confident than he was, and I do think externally that's true I've come to start questioning whether or not I'm more confident in who I am, my character. I would say that you are more confident in your character. I think I'm more confident in my capabilities, and that's a whole nother episode and that's not what we're talking about today, but when you were talking about the rock, his intimidation factor is level 10 and so he needs to be vulnerable in order to be relatable, otherwise he'll come off as very arrogant and unrelatable. Yeah, someone who is maybe really struggling and who doesn't come off as very strong. Naturally, maybe them being vulnerable actually makes them seem weak, which is which is why I think a lot of people who seem humble actually aren't that humble, because they're not very vulnerable. I'm gonna go into a story to try to make all this land.

Vulnerable, leadership qualities, and humility

Speaker 2 3:46

I was on a coaching session earlier today and I was going through so to provide context, this client is I've been working with him for years and he has an opportunity to work with two different leaders. Let's just say Okay, and he's at a crossroads in his career. One of the problems that we've identified in his career that's a bottleneck to his growth is he's working under a level two leader, a really not very good leader, a leader who's narcissistical, a leader who is constantly holding on to control, a leader who's deeply insecure, pretending not to be, a leader who's not humble or vulnerable, that kind of thing. And there's this other leader that he's excited to work with and work for, that is actually confident and humble and he really wants to get under this other guy's wing to learn and grow and contribute. And it's a really obvious thing for him and I at this stage, but for me it was very obvious from the get. Just talking about this other guy, this other guy, we'll call him Chris, first name's only His name is Chris. So this guy, chris, is what I think is a very strong, transformational leader.

Speaker 2 5:14

My intuition says eight out of 10. Very confident, very humble, very wanting what's best for everyone, very wanting to find the win-win-win, very lead by example. Don't practice, you know. Practice what you preach and don't try to tell other people. Don't be a dictator, whereas this other leader is. I'm not going to do any of it, but you need to go do it, and I'm smoking mirrors and I'm going to try to manipulate my way to get you to all do the work so that I benefit. And that's just my freaking truth, okay, and I'm just sick and tired of watching my clients suffer because of this other terrible leader.

Speaker 2 5:48

So, anyways, the point of all this is we were going through and rating leadership qualities of each of these individuals, and two of the leadership qualities was, or the things to look out for, was, arrogance was one of them, and we were going down the list for each of these leaders and my client said a seven for this Chris guy as arrogant. And I said my intuition said no way, chris doesn't sound arrogant to me at all. And he said Alan, he's very sure of himself. And I said the definition of arrogant is someone who thinks they're better than they are.

Speaker 2 6:31

And he said oh yeah, no two. He's amazing. What this Chris guy is amazing? He doesn't think he's better than he is and if he does, it's only a slight amount. This is the problem with humility, confidence, arrogance, this whole thing. You don't know how good someone really is. So if arrogance is you thinking you're better than you are, how do you know how good someone actually is? Like, if I say I'm a great coach, does that make me arrogant? What if I actually am a great coach?

Speaker 1 7:05

It depends what you compare to exactly, and that's why this is so wonky because I remember kev used to say this.

Speaker 2 7:10

He said talking about what you did is an arrogant. Talking about what you're gonna do always comes off as arrogant and in my head it was like what I mean? Is it arrogant for us to say that we're gonna cross 2 000 episodes? Is that arrogant? I mean we're going to cross 2,000 episodes. Is that arrogant? I mean we're going to cross 2,000 episodes. I just think it's accurate.

Speaker 1 7:28

Eventually we'll get there. If you said that at episode one, I would say it sounds drastically more arrogant than at 1777. Right, Because now there's proof.

Speaker 2 7:37

So here's the frame. And this is brand new for me. So I'm actually pretty outside my comfort zone with this guiding on any level in this, because this was recent. This week I realized, maybe last week, if I do have a lot of self-belief which is just certainty in one's own capabilities, we'll call it. Self-belief and certainty are the same thing, some of its fake, delusional certainty and some of its real, accurate certainty, and I try really hard to be accurately certain. But anyways, if I have level 10 self-belief and only level nine, humility, I'm going to come off as level one arrogant, because 10 minus nine is one.

Speaker 2 8:15

And so this Chris guy I felt bad for him in that moment because it's very clear to me he's not arrogant. He seems like a great leader, and my client thinks he's arrogant. I think you don't understand what humility actually is. I said I said arrogance is thinking you're better than you really are. Does he think he's better than he really is? And he's like, no, not really. Well, why do you think he's arrogant then? And so that's the real struggle. And I felt I felt for him in that moment because my whole life I've.

Speaker 2 8:43

It seems like everyone thinks I'm arrogant and I've never really fully understood it until now. It's because I'm not as humble as I need to be to balance out my certainty of long-term strategic belief.

Perceived arrogance

Speaker 1 8:55

It's hard because belief dictates the amount you believe in yourself, or self-belief, whatever we want to label it, as it dictates the way you show up in everything. Yeah, it dictates the way you show up in everything. If you're the type of person who is really quick, say you're out to eat, you're out to dinner, and you're really quick to get the check and you're just supremely confident, you're the type of person to raise your hand and say maybe you know the the waiter's name. Hey, chris, we're good over here, we'll take the check when you're ready. Anybody who's insecure is probably gonna think that's arrogant. Like well, chris is in the middle of something, why don't you wait until Chris comes back and is ready? Did I use the same name as one of the leaders?

Speaker 2 9:33

I didn't mean to do that. Yeah, yeah, you did Steve Steve. Steve McQueen, our old mascot, Steve McQueen wearing the hyper-conscious tank top.

Speaker 2 9:52

Certain things are going to seem arrogant to certain people, even if they're not because they don't have the same level of self-belief. If they did, they would do the same things, like I. Would be someone who would do that Right, just because I'm not super concerned about looking bad or whatever. I don't know. I don't know why I would do that, but I would. I think there's certain tells In poker you can tell. There's tells when people are bluffing. That's why every poker tournament if you ever watch them on TV they all have hats and glasses on because they don't want anyone to tell when they're lying. Essentially, there's tells. There are certain tells for people who lack humility, and I definitely, like I said, I would say that arrogance is a weakness, but I don't think it's nearly as much of a weakness as people think you don't think it's nearly as much of a weakness as people think for you.

Speaker 2 10:45

I think arrogance is a huge weakness in human beings. Oh, I think humility is the most important character trait in the game and I think that it's a wildly misunderstood right concept.

Speaker 1 10:58

So you're saying it's not that most people are arrogant, it's that many people do not lack. Many people lack self-belief, and if they had more self-belief they would realize that maybe there is some arrogance, but it's not outright arrogance. It's just the difference between the humility and the belief.

Speaker 2 11:15

And then the plot thickens even more because if I believe in myself at level 10 in this arena, sometimes it crosses over to everything, and you and I found that back in the day. This was something that Kevin and I. One of the reasons we don't have guests anymore is because someone would come in with level 10 confidence and self-belief in their thing and then they'd start teaching health when they are not.

Speaker 1 11:38

They didn't earn that, they're not and we could tell they were misguiding our audience.

Speaker 2 11:42

Yeah, it's very hard to know where you're good and where you're not. When you have a lot of self-ief and you know this because you've started to believe in yourself a lot more it leaks into everything.

Speaker 1 11:53

Well, it's hard to segment a pedestal. When you put somebody on a pedestal, it's really hard to segment that and there's no steps on the pedestal. The pedestal is the same height all the way across, whether we're talking about health, wealth, life, love, sex, parenting, cars, but in reality there should be steps in between all of those things. I know way more about podcasting than I do parenting. What are you laughing at?

Speaker 2 12:17

Before this episode, again behind the scenes. I just failed at my goal. I just touched the mic. You already did.

Speaker 1 12:24

I did yes. Yeah, yeah, Ellen said I'm not going to touch the mic. Yeah, like five minutes ago, I'm not going to touch the mic at all this episode. I noticed once and then I was like, and then I just moved on because I knew you lost.

Speaker 2 12:34

Oh damn.

Speaker 1 12:36

I lost focus.

Speaker 2 12:36

I got in flow, it's okay, that's good.

Speaker 1 12:38

It's a good problem to have Fail forward. Yeah, it about touching it. So how do we explain this in a way that's helpful? I think the way you explained it was very helpful. I would suggest or I guess in my mind, I would venture to guess that most people aren't going to deal with the same level of this that you do, because you have very, very high belief.

Speaker 2 13:07

How do you build humility? I know how to build belief.

Speaker 1 13:13

I don't know how to build humility. I think I think doing hard things, yeah, yeah, I think I think humility and self-worth are connected, I just don't know how. Yet it's really. There's a fine line between being humble and being self-deprecating. I think it's a. It's an equation of self-belief, self-worth and self-awareness. Do we just make something up? Are we about to make up a framework? Live right now. Is Kevin going to lead this spearhead, this?

Speaker 2 13:40

Best framework you ever created up to date, in my opinion, is time. I always get the order wrong, I know, but wrong time perspective, wrong approach. Perspective, wrong approach, wrong. Hold on, don't give it to me. Wrong time perspective, wrong approach. It's hard when you do it out of order, I know what's the third?

Speaker 1 13:57

what do you have at the beginning when you start something wrong?

Speaker 2 14:01

strategy. No, that's approach. Expectations, wrong expectations, yeah, that's a good one, yeah I need to. I appreciate, dude, that's a really good.

How to build humility?

Speaker 1 14:09

I mean, that's why people fail it's, that's, that's an equation, for failure is what that is. I think this is a very similar thing, where it's probably three or four different things that make up the equation and, I think, self-belief, self-belief, if you. I don't know how many people actually know how much they believe in themselves that's the problem if you're?

Speaker 2 14:32

it's an alarmingly not asked question if you're over.

Speaker 1 14:38

So let's say you think you have a level, sorry if you're under. If you think you have a level nine self-belief but you really have a level seven self-belief, that, right there, suggests that you're not going to be as humble as you should. If you think you have a level seven self-worth but you actually have a level two self-worth, you're probably not going to be as humble actually humble. You might be self-deprecating, but there's a big difference between me saying I'm not that good, I'm not If whenating. But there's a big difference between me saying I'm not that good, I'm not if when.

Speaker 1 15:13

Somebody somebody gave me a really good compliment yesterday on a podcast about the way I answered questions. Self-deprecating is no, no, no, I'm not man. Thank you, I appreciate the thought, but I'm not. I'm not actually really good at this at all. Not being able to own it, humility is. Thank you so much. I've worked diligently at this over the last seven years and I'm trying to get better every single day. So the fact that you recognize all of the challenging, hard work I've put in really means a lot to me. That's the truth. The truth is I own the fact that you gave me the compliment. Thank you so very much for that compliment and I plan on using that compliment to get even better.

Speaker 2 15:46

That's really what I'm after. If they were to say, kev, you're the best podcaster on earth. It takes humility to say I appreciate that. But I'm not so sure you see how humility is, unless you believe it Exactly. And that's where everything gets wonky from the third-party perspective.

Speaker 1 16:03

But yeah, that would seem very arrogant If I came on here. Imagine if I believed I was the best podcaster on the planet, which I do not. I think I'm in a percentage. I think I'm really good at what I do.

Speaker 2 16:13

Would you say top?

Speaker 1 16:14

1%.

Speaker 2 16:15

Yes.

Speaker 1 16:15

Nice, I would say higher than top 1%.

Speaker 2 16:17

Would old Kevin think you're arrogant right now?

Speaker 1 16:19

Yes.

Speaker 2 16:20

That sucks. That makes me so sad.

Speaker 1 16:23

That makes me so, but it's true In a weird way, it was very cute the way you said that, how you said like, it makes me so sad it does, it makes me so sad because I say that all the time on other podcasts I say one of the hardest realizations for me is that 26 year old Kev probably wouldn't like 34 year old Kev. I would trigger him. Oh, that's brutal. Yeah, talk about an identity crisis.

Speaker 2 16:47

I know that 35 year old Alan Would have trouble with 18 year old Alan, but I wouldn't. I wouldn't hate him, definitely not. I would just try to explain some stuff.

Speaker 1 16:58

What would 18 year old Alan Think of 35 year old Alan?

Speaker 2 17:01

Oh, my goodness.

Reflecting on personal growth and change

Speaker 2 17:03

So we actually I did this in therapy. We did a meditation and we went back to my childhood and I have a lot of the memories still and we I was this is going to get a little weird, so Whatever, in the meditation I was at a party In high school and I was my therapist said Imagine you now there At that party and I was just Whoa, and I was just whoa and my response was you shouldn't be here. I wanted to go up to him and say you don't belong here, you shouldn't be here, you're too amazing to be here. And the other piece that I realized too is and this is alarming for me, but I realized that that environment at that party I remember it specifically and it's kind of a memory, with all the parties merged too, by the way, in this but there was no humility whatsoever At those parties. There was very little people with humility around me, and that's really hard to see, and myself included, I lacked humility and maturity too, but not as much as a lot of the people, and that's been really you can feel the emotions in me right now there was no humility back then in the environment that I grew up in. That is, I will just say that and maybe a lot of the listeners can resonate. Go back and look at your childhood. Was there humility that was not present at all in my life, honestly, and that's the law of attraction happening because my mom and stepdad did not have high humility, in my honest opinion, and they attract other people with low humility, and so humility is, for me, the, the cheat code. It's the most important thing.

Next Level Dreamliner: the planner, agenda, journal, and habit tracker to rule them all. Get a copy:

Speaker 2 18:54

From now on, for 35 year old Alan, I've decided humility is the most important thing, core, inner humility. You don't need to like say I suck or anything like that. I'm not talking about external modesty, I'm talking about inner core. I'm grateful to be here, humility. I'm grateful for running water. I'm grateful for being believing in myself at all. I'm grateful for living in a free country. I think it shows humility to be, to have an attitude of gratitude and to earn what you want to achieve. To earn, I think the opposite of humility is entitlement, being entitled to this. Oh well, you know, I'm going to win the show because I'm awesome, like you're entitled to winning because you think you're better. It's this weird thing. So, anyways, I don't want to go down the whole thing about me, but the humility piece for me. I never understood what it was. I never understood why it mattered. I dude I never. And and I always thought well, I, I read books like, I study hard, I take the tests, I, I work harder than other people. Doesn't that show humility?

Speaker 1 20:09

I like work really hard nobody sees that it almost that's the the best. Obviously you know this. I mean this is like a lesson that you share. Often. The best thing that ever happened to you is emilia, because you met someone who believed in themselves more than you believed in yourself and saw how people treated her. Yeah, so I under again. I understand that there's certain things that we say like that's an Alan thing, alan, and Amelia thing. Like you guys believe in yourself so much. I know not Most people. I've never met two humans who believe in themselves more than you guys.

Speaker 2 20:41

But we don't know that, like we don't understand that. We don't understand why more people don't. And now I'm starting to like I am, but back when I met her, I had no idea why we were different in that. So and that's a whole nother episode probably, but I want to share this too, because I think this will be valuable for the listeners. Emilia is the only person who's ever told me that I was humble. I've been very complimented and I'm very grateful for many things. You believe in yourself so much, you're so confident, you're so capable, you're so smart. I've gotten that, and I also get the opposite of all the horrible things.

Importance of humility in personal development

Speaker 2 21:30

Honestly way more than I get the compliments, by the way, but makes sense, though I know, I know right. Emilia said to me. She said I've never met such a humble man. You're the most humble man I've ever met, and I swear to you. I said this, I said I really appreciate that sweetheart, I genuinely do, but I've never personally identified as humble. And she said Ellen, that's exactly what a humble man would say. And I went oh, am I humble? And then there goes the humility. But that's playful, I'm not kidding. I never identified as humble. But what if I was just always believing in myself more than I was humble? So no one could ever see it. Because I definitely don't feel like I'm always arrogant. I've, I, I struggle with arrogance at times, but there I know people that are way more arrogant than me. No for sure I mean, but no one ever called them arrogant. So I didn't understand. Because they don't, they don't so I didn't understand.

Speaker 1 22:30

Because they don't? It's so hard. One of the hardest things about you and your journey is you actually do the things you say you're going to do and then when you lose, it makes you look arrogant. We were talking about that earlier. We're going to do a little bit of no, we're not going to really talk about that, but I was.

Speaker 1 22:46

We will, we'll talk about it at some point it's just not tomorrow's episode. But that's a really hard thing is when somebody has a lot of self-belief. They try stuff that other people don't try, and then they lose sometimes because that's how it goes. And then people see that moment and think like yeah, you were arrogant, you lost the show when you said you were gonna win. I thought you were arrogant a little bit when you did your fitness show and I told you you were going to lose.

Speaker 2 23:08

I thought the way you showed up was arrogant. I was a little bit, but not 10 out of 10 arrogant. It's not like I was Not 10 out of 10.

Speaker 1 23:13

No, no, but it's. The aspiration dictates the arrogance. It doesn't necessarily dictate it.

Speaker 2 23:21

It dictates the perception of the arrogance. Yeah.

Speaker 1 23:23

You were like Kev, I'm going to stomp. Of course I'm going to win. It's like Alan, you need to put down the chicken broccoli Alfredo pizza sign.

Speaker 2 23:32

I did put it down on the reg.

Speaker 1 23:34

I've done this before you are in trouble, sir. Hey, I did put them down.

Speaker 2 23:39

Yeah, you put them down Every other day. Your gullet, your gullet, what I wanted to say.

Speaker 1 23:43

This is what I wanted to say yeah, okay, let me add a little. Let me put a little something on my own spin here. Okay, most of what we talked about today is probably not relevant to most people when we're talking about you and I don't mean that in a bad way yeah, yeah, well, let's make it helpful. That's what I'm trying to do.

Speaker 2 24:00

How do we make it?

Speaker 1 24:01

helpful. That's what we're going, maybe, hopefully, all I'm. This is my thought. If somebody thinks you're arrogant, I would venture to guess that they think you believe in yourself less than you actually believe in yourself. That's an initial start.

Speaker 2 24:22

Or they think you believe in yourself more than you should, based on your results, because that's what it was. That's fair too. You thought that I believed in myself more than you should, based on your results, because that's what it was. That's fair too. You thought that I believed in myself more than I should, and based on that specific show. You're absolutely right.

Speaker 1 24:36

But let's just say you don't really know what the results are Like. Let's just say you meet someone. Let's say you meet, you just meet someone and you're like you get that initial vibe and you get that intuition, you get the feeling and you start thinking and it's like there's there's no way you should believe in yourself as much as you do I have one more story that I have to share.

Speaker 2 24:56

This will help. I promise this is not about me, let's do it. I was at, I think, block island. I was at the beach with a couple friends and they loved football. They were obsessed with football. They played football in high school and I was in college and we were at the beach having a blast and we met someone who was on the Colts in the NFL for the global listeners in the National Football League Bench player, but he was on the Colts and we were hanging out with him, with a bunch of girls, and we had a blast. It was like a party, it's awesome. On the beach and later on, on the drive home, these two friends of mine were talking and I say friends loosely because one of them I couldn't stand.

Speaker 1 25:40

Let's be honest, okay.

Perception Vs. Reality in humility

Speaker 2 25:43

And they said, oh my god, that guy, he's that guy. He's so awesome Like, he's so humble. I was like this dude was not even a little bit humble, kev. But what I realized in that moment is that because he was in the NFL, they projected that he's supposed to be arrogant, and so it's humility is perception. People's perception of humility is complete.

Speaker 2 26:09

This dude had no humility. This dude thought he was the bee's knees, but to them he should be that way because he was in the NFL and they value football at level 10. So you see how wonky this gets. It's super wonky. It's very hard to gauge and I remember how much that bothered me and I figured out why. It's because, just because they perceive he should be more arrogant than he is, he's humble, even though they perceive that I shouldn't believe in myself to the level I do. So they think I'm arrogant. That dude's way more arrogant than I was by a significant margin, but he was in the nfl, so it's okay, I don't have whatever that is I don't like. Just because you're in the NFL does not mean you get permission to be arrogant. There's none of that for me.

Speaker 2 26:55

If anything, you should be more humble, because you actually were a bench player.

Speaker 1 27:01

That's the thing is amongst other players, he probably is more humble because there's the pecking order.

Speaker 2 27:12

I don't know, mancking order.

Speaker 1 27:13

I don't know, man, hey, I don't know. Well, no, no, I mean yeah, but I see no, no, no, I'm just saying, but that's one of the things.

Speaker 2 27:17

Perception of humility and actual humility are two completely different things and I think that's really cool to understand.

Speaker 1 27:22

Yeah, you've, you've you, and I have talked a lot about martial arts on the podcast. Yeah, and you'll compliment me on certain things, and the first thing I always say is Alan, compared to you I might be a black belt, but compared to a black belt, I am the worst. Yeah, yeah, I know, yep.

Speaker 2 27:36

So there's the pecking order Levels.

Speaker 1 27:38

Yeah, yeah yeah, there's just the pecking order. Maybe compared to your average person, so it's fall.

Speaker 2 27:49

That's what humility is is knowing where you actually are. Yeah, yeah, but it changes depending on where you are. I know big fish, small pond, small minnow, huge ocean it gets never the same yeah, it's so true, so true. That's why it's so. I think that's why it's so hard yeah so it's almost like, as you mature, you start to realize how big the world is and how where you, you just start to understand where you really fall.

Speaker 1 28:10

That's, I think, maturity and humility hopefully come hand in hand but I think, just like anything else, you either undershoot or overshoot yep is anybody actually, but your percent error shouldn't be off as much as it was when you were 18.

Speaker 2 28:23

I mean, you and I thought we were. You know, I thought I was good at basketball, you thought you were good at baseball. Now that we like, if we step on the MLB and I step in the NBA, we're not going to touch the ball Right. And I think that as you get older and you mature, I think you start to learn that. So, hopefully, maturity and humility come hand in hand as you start to learn how big the world is.

Speaker 1 28:46

I think humility goes away when delusion goes away. Sorry, humility increases when delusion goes away, that is absolutely, and delusion is.

Speaker 2 28:54

the antidote to delusion is accurate thinking, which is what Hyperconscious Podcast was all about.

Speaker 1 28:59

So it makes sense that we've become more humble?

Speaker 2 29:02

I don't know.

Speaker 1 29:03

Yeah, I was going to say I don't know. I mean right there that statement. I mean when we listen to old episodes we are I couldn't. I tried yesterday, I couldn't, I couldn't do it again. Was I arrogant to my standards today? Yeah, was I did. I think I was arrogant back then.

Speaker 2 29:18

No, no, not at all.

Speaker 1 29:19

That's another layer to this. Yeah, real quick.

Speaker 2 29:22

I know we gotta jump I know we gotta jump, yeah, yeah. What do you got can you talk about? Would you be willing to talk about why you can't listen to old episodes, because I feel like it's hard to?

Speaker 1 29:37

Yeah, I mean I can try. I don't know if I actually have the depths of the answer. I'm embarrassed. Not of the content I'm embarrassed of me the way I showed up on the microphones.

Speaker 2 29:50

Same yeah my energy why?

Speaker 1 29:51

My because I'm I'm over On the drive to five, I'm over. Back then I was over Compared to where I am today. I know I'm over. I can't listen. I'm loud because I'm not confident. I'm not confident. I don't speak very loudly today. I don't care if you interrupt me.

Speaker 2 30:12

Well, what do you mean?

Speaker 1 30:13

I'm kidding it was just but I also think I was excited Like this is cool.

Speaker 2 30:19

Yeah, some of that was excitement and some of that was fake confidence.

Personal reflections on past arrogance

Speaker 1 30:23

I think a lot of it was fake confidence. That's what I had to do in order to get through some of the interviews we had that early on. I wasn't ready for that. I wasn't ready for the caliber of human we were interviewing. I think I was trying to protect myself, then why am I embarrassed by it? Maybe?

Speaker 2 30:40

because I wasn't as vulnerable. Maybe it's because I wasn't as vulnerable or as authentic. That's probably why it bothers me. I don't feel like I was as authentic.

Speaker 1 30:49

And same. I think. When I say I felt like I was over and I had more ego, it's just I wasn't authentic. I wasn't that humble. Yeah, I thought I was. I thought I was being as, and maybe I was. Maybe this is the wrap it up with a bow Maybe I was being as humble as I possibly could have been, don't know.

Speaker 2 31:10

Maybe you were humble. For your age. I would say you probably were For men your age, I would say yeah, maybe.

Speaker 1 31:15

But if you asked me back then I would probably have identified as humble, and I don't think that makes you not humble.

Speaker 2 31:23

I think I'm humble. One last thing what if you were also trying to mirror and match my confidence? Sure I was.

Speaker 1 31:31

We are going to talk about that tomorrow Nice.

Speaker 2 31:33

Okay, well, I'll leave it there. But that and what if that's why you're embarrassed at the way you showed up, because it wasn't real for you and it might have been more real for me, even though I'm still embarrassed too. I think I'm embarrassed of even the solo episodes before you and I partnered up, been more real for me, even though I'm still embarrassed too.

Speaker 1 31:48

I think I'm. I'm embarrassed of even the solo episodes before you and I partnered up okay, gotcha, yeah, yeah, I think it's it's one of those grateful.

Speaker 2 31:55

You said that because I just felt really bad and guilty a little bit.

Speaker 1 31:57

So no, no, you're good. No, it has nothing to do. I won't say it has nothing to do with you. It's not you, it's not a you issue.

Speaker 1 32:03

I think it's one of those things where, when you're really, really, really afraid to do something, sometimes you just you rely on your ego to do it. Yeah, I don't know if I could have been. How do you be vulnerable enough to do something that scares you by yourself? I don't know if you can. Yeah, you know, I don't know. I know when I was doing that there was probably I can think back and it didn't feel like I had ego, but I'm sure I had protectors up to make sure I didn't sound like an idiot or to make me believe in what I was actually saying. I think that's the but then what I think really getting good at something is getting to the point where you, just you can do it authentically. Yeah, agreed, the way Alan and I are talking right now, this is one of my favorite episodes we've ever done, because this is exactly how we talk behind the scenes. This could have been a behind the scenes conversation and I wouldn't have known. Yeah.

Speaker 2 33:01

That is. I would say it's closer to that than it's ever been.

Speaker 1 33:06

Well, I mean, I probably swear.

Speaker 2 33:07

I swear more behind the scenes, but we might five years from now, listen to this and feel still a percentage of ego. We probably will?

Speaker 1 33:16

I don't think so. A percentage, but a less percentage, much less, yeah, much less, yeah, because go listen to episode 1,000. There's a definitive timeline. I don't know what the exact number is, but when we crossed a certain, when I stopped screaming into the microphone, that helped a lot, for me for sure. I just thought that's who I was supposed to be Shout out to, whoever left us a negative review and said Kevin blows my eardrums out every time. That was constructive. I was pissed at the time, but then Alan was like dude, I have actually some rumblings that that's actually happening. It's like no no shit.

Speaker 2 33:51

Damn Tough feedback is so bad.

Speaker 1 33:54

It's so hard sometimes it's so hard. All right, we're going to get out of here. Please make sure you are subscribed, whether you are subscribed on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, whatever podcast platform you are listening to us on or on YouTube if you are watching us in crisp 4k I think that's what streamyard does, I don't know to make sure you never miss an opportunity to get to the next level. We want to help you get there every single day and that is why we do an episode every single day I have a blog that I just published, blog number 19.

Speaker 2 34:23

It's on my linkedin. We're going to put a link in the show notes to my LinkedIn profile. There's a blog number 19. It's all about the ego and the three layers of the ego, and it talks about how to be more authentically you. The name of the let me see if I can remember the name of the blog it's how to become more of the real you. No, how to become more of the true you. Become more of the real. You know how to become more of the true you, and I really feel like it's a very practical way to try to not live so armored up and to really start to understand why your ego is there and and what real humility is. I've been working really hard to figure out the true self and what humility is and how to build it, and so join us in that journey. The link will be in the show notes.

Speaker 1 35:12

As always, we love you, we appreciate you, grateful for each and every one of you, and at NLU we don't have fans, we have family. We will talk to you all tomorrow. Keep it humble. Next level nation.