#1786 - The Only Person That You Need To Make Proud

Ever wondered if you’re living for yourself or just trying to please others? In this heartfelt episode, Kevin and Alan explore why self-pride is essential and how to navigate it with the desire to make others proud. Listen in for stories of personal growth, the struggle for parental approval, and practical advice on living a life true to yourself.

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Show notes:
(2:05) The importance of making yourself proud
(5:17) Seeking parental approval
(7:01) Playing the unwinnable game
(10:47) Regrets
(12:33) Self-pride for self-fulfillment
(17:16) Perspective, gratitude, and being present
(21:09) Meet like-minded people and jumpstart your journey to achieving your dreams while optimizing your life. Join Next Level Group Coaching. https://www.nextleveluniverse.com/group-coaching/
(23:34) “Are you proud of you?”
(27:51) Setting high standards for oneself
(31:24) Regret-free and taking ownershi

🎙️ Hosted by Kevin Palmieri and Alan Lazaros

Next Level University is a top-ranked daily podcast for dream chasers and self-improvement lovers. With over 2,100 episodes, we help you level up in life, love, health, and wealth one day at a time. Subscribe for real, honest, no-fluff growth every single day.

Transcript

Speaker 1 0:00

Next Level Nation. Welcome back to another episode of Next Level University, where we help you level up your life, your love, your health and your wealth. Today, for episode number 1786, the only person that you need to make proud. As I was titling this episode and thinking about what we were going to talk about, I realized that I don't even know if I believe in the title of this episode and what we're going to talk about. So we're going to see. We're going to see what happens. That's unfortunate. Yeah, it's very unfortunate. We're not going to not do it because I want to see what comes of it. I want to see what comes of it.

Speaker 1 0:35

I was on a podcast the other day and I told the story about how time at 27, with the understanding that he was my dad, and I love questions like this, as weird as it may sound. The host said do you think your dad is proud of you? And I said I, quite frankly, don't give a shit whether he's proud of me or not, because I'm proud of me and I think that's that's the most important thing.

Speaker 1 1:00

But I was thinking of it after, and I know a lot of people's deepest pains come from their parents. Why are you holding back a smile over there?

Speaker 2 1:14

You always know, kevin and I were talking about the James Bond movies right before this. Yeah, yeah, are you thinking?

Speaker 1 1:20

about them.

Speaker 2 1:21

This is a total side tangent. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You made me think of a scene where, when you responded to that podcast host of I don't frankly give a damn yes it made me think of a scene in casino royale where he asked for a drink vodka martini shake and of course of course.

Speaker 2 1:42

And the bartender said do you want that shaken or stirred? And he's. He looked at him pissed. He was in a terrible mood because he just lost a huge poker hand and he said does it look like? I give a damn? I can't do it because I'm laughing, but you reminded me very like a lot of that.

The importance of making yourself proud

Speaker 1 1:58

So well, there's worse people to remind someone of than james bond, played by the handsome and talented daniel craig he crushed. I accept that compliment and I know that's why you said it to me does it look like I give a damn? I know that's what you meant. You deep down, alan was like I want kevin to know that he could be james bond in a future reply.

Speaker 2 2:18

Reprisal of the role so here's my this Can you imagine you running away from like a, like a giant?

Speaker 1 2:27

Bomb in the background, all bow legged and Just ass swinging.

Speaker 2 2:32

No.

Speaker 1 2:33

It's not in the cards for me 5'4.

Speaker 2 2:36

James.

Speaker 1 2:36

Bond. You know how tall is Daniel Craig? Probably 5'10 In real life. How tall is James Bond? 6'2, at least right.

Speaker 2 2:47

You know, I think henry cable is going to be the next one how do you compete with that?

Speaker 1 2:52

I know superman and james bond, you know. Yeah, I do feel sometimes as if my life has been for nothing, when something like that aligns in that way.

Speaker 2 3:04

No, I'm just kidding All right.

Speaker 1 3:06

I don't know if I agree with this now, because this is what I wanted to say for this episode. I wanted to say that the only person that you need to make proud is you, but I want to make Taryn proud and I want to make Alan proud and I want to make the team proud. So maybe there's a layer of the people that maybe you aspire to make proud are also the people that make you proud. You're proud of them, and I know this is one of the deep pains that people have. They want to go in a different route, and somebody that is close to them does not understand what that route is. Again, podcaster, whatever.

Speaker 1 3:47

I've been talking a lot about the bear. That's a show that taran and I are watching. I know a lot of people have seen it and I know they're on season three or four or whatever, but we're on season two and there's a scene where one of the characters is talking to her father about how she's a chef at this restaurant and, by all outside standards, she's not at all successful. She's not getting paid yet there's a lot of things that makes it look like she's losing, and you can tell very clearly that she just wants to make her dad proud. And she's not getting that and she may never get that the unwinnable game is what we call that yeah, it seems fairly unwinnable.

Speaker 1 4:24

game is what we call that. Yeah, it seems fairly unwinnable, unfortunately. My thought on this whole thing is I think you're the most important person to make proud. Do you want to make other people proud? Sure, but if that's why you're doing what you're doing, I think that's probably a losing game. That's my thesis for this episode. So it's different than I expected. I was going to get on here and say it doesn't really matter. It doesn't matter if you make anybody else proud, but I don't agree with that. I don't agree with that based on the fact that, as I was going to the bathroom and coming back, I was thinking well, if Taryn's not proud of me, that sucks. Obviously that's some sort of compass for what I'm doing.

Seeking parental approval

Speaker 2 5:03

Well, there's deeper layers of that. It's if Taryn's not proud of you, then that means blank, and then that means blank. And this is something we do in coaching often, which is if X, y, z, then blank, if Y, w, x, then blank. And you eventually get to the deeper layers of what's really driving you.

Speaker 2 5:25

And I think one of the things that's really hard about this unwinnable game thing because that's really probably where I'm going to go with it kevin and I were talking earlier we're talking about how most of what I talk about ends up being about achievement in some way, and most of what he talks about ends up being awareness, and so obviously you need awareness to achieve and you need achievement to be more aware, because toward achievements you're supposed to learn and grow. So, anyways, I remember I gave a speech at Clark University way back this is before Kevin and I teamed up and the topic was how to translate your college experience into the real world, and I think there was like 25 or so students. It was kind of this backroom dorm area. I had a little what's the thing where you flip the paper over with the marker.

Playing the unwinnable game

Speaker 2 6:20

That's an easel, Easel, yeah an easel, and I remember I stayed late for questions always do and these two young men from india came over to me and they were brothers and they both came to clark university from india and they said we are engineers but we want to play soccer. And back then I think I was a little bit naive to the statistical chances of them being professional soccer players. So I'm going to say this and reiterate this from my new sense of awareness. But back then what I said is they said if we don't pursue engineering, our parents will disown us and not pay for tuition. And they were crying. This was a real, serious life conversation and I said well, which one are you going to regret more? Will you regret, like, let's go into the future, 10 years Are you going to regret not trying to play soccer or are you going to regret losing tuition? And they said that we would regret not trying. I said, okay, well, there's your answer. I said, but you have to take responsibility for that choice and what comes with it. Because if they're paying for school, I mean obviously that goes and they might be bluffing. I mean maybe they'll still pay, I don't know. And I also had to ask them do you guys think you have a chance. I said I don't play soccer, I can't tell, I got nothing for you there, but do you guys think you have a chance to make it quote unquote in soccer? And they both said yeah again. Could they be delusional? Yes, I don't know right. My point of this whole thing is that they were playing an unwinnable game which is in order to make my family proud. I have to be X, but yet I'm called to Y and you were never really in that position very much From what we've talked about over the last seven years.

Speaker 2 8:22

You said to me a while back. You said everyone expected a lot from you. You were very quote-unquote promising, so everyone expected a lot from you achievement-wise. And I don't think a lot of people talk about this because it's also like well, poor, you right, a lot's expected of you. That must be so hard to be so smart or so great or whatever.

Speaker 2 8:40

It's very hard to give empathy to something that most people want. It's like when people say well, you don't understand. I grew up in a wealthy family and you don't understand what comes with that. It's very hard to empathize with that. I get it because it's much better than no money which I remember having when my stepdad left. But anyways, when you do believe in yourself a lot, when you are very quote-unquote promising, a lot of times you fall for this doctor, lawyer, engineer failure thing that your parents kind of put on you.

Speaker 2 9:13

And I think that your family didn't really put much of that on you, I think unconsciously. I was expected to go and be successful Because when my stepdad left there was no safety net for my family. So it was okay, go succeed and make sure the family has a future, type of thing. And I think it was unconscious. I don't know if it was explicitly said, it was just okay, I better do this because we're screwed if I don't. And so for everyone out there watching or listening, when I got in that car accident at 26,. And so for everyone out there watching or listening, when I got in that car accident at 26, that's when I reevaluated and realized that the number one regret of the dying. We interviewed a woman named Bronnie Ware. She wrote a book called the Top Five Regrets of the Dying and I have a flashcard. That's all like tattered up. I haven't shown you this in a while.

Speaker 1 9:55

It's been a minute.

Speaker 2 9:59

It's actually all kind of destroyed and ripped in two, but Kevin and I got to interview her like four years later, which was really cool. I fanboyed hard on that one. But the number one regret of the dying is I wish I had lived a life true to myself and not what others expected of me, and so I think a lot of people do end up going down life paths that are not congruent with who they really are or maybe what they really want, based on, well, my family. You know my father was a pilot, so I have a relationship talks coaching.

Regrets

Speaker 2 10:25

You know my father was a pilot, so I have a relationship talks coaching client that her father was a pilot and I think his father was a pilot, and so it's kind of like this family tradition expectation that's unconscious as a kid, and then you wake up quarter life crisis or midlife crisis or whatever, and it's wait a wait a minute. What if my life wasn't? What if that's not really what I wanted? And that's how I felt at 26. And I flipped that script pretty hard, which is good, and I had to accept the consequences of that as well, which is losing friends, family challenges and being broke for a time as well.

Speaker 1 11:03

What's the? I wonder what the difference between somebody not being proud of you and not understanding you is, because just because somebody is not proud of what you're doing does not mean what you're doing is not great. It doesn't mean that what you're doing is destructive. It could still be very, very positive. Maybe they just don't understand and support it. I feel like there could be a difference between somebody saying I'm not going to support what you're doing, but it's still being very positive and very good for the world.

Self-pride for self-fulfillment

Speaker 1 11:50

The reason I wanted to do this episode and I don't feel like I'm the one to give advice on this because, again, my upbringing and the opportunities that I got to pursue are drastically different than I think a lot of people just because my family wasn't directing me anywhere. Is there a negative to that? Yes, there was very little direction. Is there a positive? Yes, there was also very little boundaries, so I could kind of just do what I want and kind of test out stuff, and I did. I had the opportunity to do that. But I have a very logical view that I understand that many people might not have where. It's my job to make me proud If I'm not making me proud and I'm making everybody else around me proud. I am self-abandoning my own fulfillment and my own journey and my own success and my own happiness and my own self-worth and my own self-trust and all of that stuff self-respect. So other people are okay with what I'm doing and when you go to bed at night, you're not going to be fulfilled by doing that no way.

Speaker 2 12:56

I think it's impossible to self-abandon, and be fulfilled.

Speaker 1 13:00

But I also understand that if somebody was saying to me Kev, I'm paying $25,000 or whatever however much college is $25,000 a year for you to go do this. If you decide you're not going to do it, then I'm taking that option away. In my mind I immediately think I don't want that option anyway, so take it away. I don't care. But I also understand. I am fairly reckless when it comes to that type of stuff. But I've always wanted to make me proud. I've never done it. I've never really made myself proud. Now I'm proud. I don't want somebody to be able to take that away from me.

Speaker 2 13:34

You know what I mean. When, when I had more other people, more other people, when I had more people proud of me than I had ever had before, is when I got in my car accident. There was a lot of people proud of me and proud of what I had achieved and all that and I did achieve a lot of success. But when I faced mortality, potential mortality, I realized I wasn't proud of myself. And that's when I completely shifted and I went the polar opposite. I mean, I got made fun of.

Speaker 2 14:16

I remember my mom at one point saying why would you ever give that up? That's what everyone wants you make your. This is the dream. This's what everyone wants you make your. This is the dream, this is what everyone wants, this is what you worked so hard for. It's not giving something up when I don't want it. It's as a matter of fact. I can't continue doing it. There's no way. I'm gonna go do something better. But I also understand. Now it's easy to just say that I knew this would work eventually and I'm not sure a lot of people have that certainty, so they stay stuck a lot longer than I did. But after you face mortality, you kind of get freed from. It breaks you free of something. It's well. I don't really have anything to lose, since I just almost lost everything.

Speaker 1 15:00

I think it gives you the ultimate perspective of yeah, it's very. This is the, the hyper conscious kev. It's very easy to forget that one day you're gonna die. It's very easy to forget that. It's very, very easy to forget that eventually you will get to the place where you run out of time and the clock hits zero, and then you have, that's it. You don't have any option to do anything, doesn't matter what you want anymore, but it's very easy to lose sight of that because it seems so far away. That's why when somebody dies in your family, or somebody dies that's close to you, or a coworker or whatever it is, you get so much perspective all at once and then you get very inspired for however long, but very rarely does that stick, just like when you sprain your ankle. You say I'm never going to take that for granted again, and then a month later you're skipping down the street not thinking about the fact that six months ago, or however long it was, your ankle was jeffed and we lose sight of that. I wonder if one of the reasons we're not able to be I won't say we're not able to it's challenging to be proactively grateful all the time is because if you did that you would spend so much time in gratitude and then you wouldn't accomplish anything more of course, because it's that's exactly what it is there's so much to be grateful for but that's why we talk about grateful dissatisfaction

Speaker 2 16:29

yes because if you're, if you're completely great, grateful and you have no dissatisfaction, there's no incentive to improve. Grateful ambition, son. I yeah there.

Speaker 1 16:40

I like grateful aspiration I don't like is a higher vibe word. Yeah, but it's why not? Because it's that's breathing. Aspiration is also breathing. No, that's Go ahead, you're going to say perspiration, that's when you sweat son, it's Wait, wait, wait.

Speaker 2 16:56

What's the word for breathing Aspiration?

Speaker 1 16:58

yeah, no, I think so. To aspire no, I don't know if you can use it that way, but aspiration.

Speaker 2 17:07

I think is breathing. I think I've been using it wrong man. Core values, core beliefs, core aspirations.

Perspective, gratitude, and being present

Speaker 1 17:13

No, no, I think. Aspiration, I think it's just one of those words that has multiple definitions.

Speaker 2 17:18

Yeah.

Speaker 1 17:19

I wasn't great in English class either, so I don't know, you know. Also maybe potentially, maybe not. If you went to my school you'll know whether or not this is true. But maybe my English teacher partied with students and was strange, I don't know. Maybe Possibly.

Speaker 2 17:41

That's possible. That's maybe possibly true. Back to the original point One of the reasons why I think people lose perspective and gratitude is because if you were always grateful, you really would lose your drive.

Speaker 2 17:59

Drive is created from wanting things to be better, but if you're only ever focused on things being amazing, honestly, I a lot of people disagree with this. There's a lot of books out there that I disagree with. They say be fully present and this is very hard for me because I want to articulate it in a way, and I think that a lot of people really do aspire to this or or preach this or believe in this, this whole being present thing. Okay, you and I, right now, are very present. But what people don't understand when they're saying just be present, just be present, just be in the moment, just be present is that what we're doing right now, in the present, is building toward a brighter future.

Speaker 2 18:41

If you're on the couch eating Cheetos, drinking alcohol, fully present, your future's getting worse, not better. You and I are fully present right now. We're in flow. To an extent, that's good. Being present right now is good because what we're doing is a building block toward a bigger, better, brighter future for ourself and others. If we're doing something destructive, the last thing you want to do is just be present. What you need to do is go design a potential future and then reverse, engineer that and then try to build toward that. I mean, you told me earlier you're the most fulfilled you've ever been, holistically, and that's awesome. But how much did you have to be not present for that?

Speaker 1 19:22

A lot of time, many times, most of the time.

Speaker 2 19:25

You reflected on the past, constantly, always. You designed the future and redesigned the future. How many times in the last seven years? Every day, yeah Much. And if you take the advice, just be present.

Speaker 1 19:38

Well, you know it's hard, it's. You know I it's, it's hard, it's there. There is definitely a subset of human beings that have worked way harder than they want to and either got the results that they thought they wanted and didn't want them, or didn't get the results that they wanted, and they are looking for more presence because they feel like they've wasted many years of their lives. So I think for some people, yeah, be more present. But if you're ambitious to create some difference in your future, I think there's a place for it. But just like you can't always live in the future, you cannot, you can't always live anywhere. There has to be a flow of past, present, a flow of.

Speaker 2 20:28

It's a three-part equation, right past, present, future, exactly yeah. So I always say here's, here's a recipe for misery. Dwell on all your regrets from the past, never enjoy the present and never design a brighter future. You will be miserable pretty much forever. Here's the formula for fulfillment, and it will include some misery. By the way, yeah, learn from the past, build in the present toward a bigger, better, brighter future. That future that's what I'm always trying to do. That's why people come to me for coaching. They want a bigger, better, brighter future.

Meet like-minded people and jumpstart your journey to achieving your dreams while optimizing your life. Join Next Level Group Coaching.

Speaker 2 21:08

I was on with a client earlier today and everything we talked about was about how to make his next year better than this year. He's been in business since 2017. How can we do more? How can we grow more? How can we achieve more? How can we do more? How can we grow more? How can we achieve more? How can we make more money? How can we? That's what the whole conversation is about, and so, if anyone's out there listening or watching this, you, you have most of your focus in the past, the present or the future.

Speaker 2 21:33

I'm very future oriented. I'm a very achievement oriented, so for me, ironically, paradoxically, it would probably be better for me to be more present. Yeah, better for me to be more present. Yeah, emilia and I need to focus on being more present. That we tried. We had to really work hard. Yesterday we went to newport. We had to work really hard. Not to work that's. That's because we're so focused on building all the time build, build, build, build, build, build, build. If you're not focused on building as much as we are, maybe building would actually help you. And it all comes down to the original point of this, which is are you proud of you? I wouldn't be proud of myself if all I did was just enjoy myself all the time I tried. Back in the day, I did a lot of enjoying myself. I did too much enjoying myself and I was unfulfilled. So I think all of us have to figure out this equation for ourselves.

Speaker 1 22:20

Yeah, it's a challenge. It's a challenge for sure, because at the end of the day, you go to bed and you put your head on the pillow and nobody else knows what you're thinking. Nobody else I don't want to say nobody else cares, because people do, but they can't care as much about your future as you do. You have to care. If there's anybody on the planet that has to care about your future, it has to be you, and it has to be more you than anybody else.

Speaker 2 22:50

Because you're the one who has to.

Speaker 1 22:51

Yeah, and you're the one who has to do it. You're the one who has to do it. You're the one who has to get up and hit the alarm clock and then go do whatever.

Speaker 2 22:57

What are you most proud of?

"Are you proud of you?"

Speaker 1 22:59

What am I most proud of? Probably my character, I would say. I just want to be a good man. I want to be a good man. You and I were raised by women, which I'm very, very grateful for. But I've been aspiring to find a positive male role model since I was a kid and I never really found one. And then every time I thought I did when I grew and this isn't anything against them, they don't have to live up to my standards, that's not what they're here for but every time I grew and I reflected, I would realize that they weren't much of a role model at all. Same. Some of the behaviors were just less toxic than the other ones that I had seen.

Speaker 1 23:43

So it was just on a scale of six, seven beers a night, not bad, decent, decent Not as bad as 12.

Speaker 2 23:53

Not as bad as 12 or hard drugs or whatever.

Speaker 1 23:54

Yeah, not bad decent not as bad as yeah, not as bad as 12 or hard drugs or whatever. Yeah, not bad, still a functioning member of society. And then you look back and realize, okay, they were. They were going through their own stuff and trying to figure out their own stuff, or maybe not trying to figure out their stuff, whatever. So, yeah, I would say that I just want to be a good man At the end of the day.

Speaker 1 24:14

The compliments and I think this is a really good tell the compliments of you're a really good podcaster and you're a great speaker, and that that Appreciate it Grateful Thank you. I genuinely appreciate it. Got a lot of work to do, but I appreciate it. The ones that you're a really good man, 10 out of 10. And I still have a lot of work to do, of course, forever. But I think one of the fears I had at the beginning of this is that I would lose me in the journey. I'd lose Kevin. I'd lose the heart-driven Kevin. I'd lose the caring Kevin, the emotional Kevin. I think that was a fear for me, and the fact that he's still here and, if anything, he's more here than he's ever been I would say that is what I'm most proud of.

Speaker 2 24:59

What are you most proud of? Lost him for minutes and moments?

Speaker 1 25:02

Definitely yeah definitely, but he always came back and when he came back he had a lesson of what not to do, and I don't know if there's any way around that.

Speaker 2 25:16

That's why we work. We have the same thing we're most proud of. There's a lot I'm not proud of in my past when I wasn't a good man or I wasn't as good of a man as I would have liked to be. But my standards have raised and I've never not been disappointed when I've looked up to other men. Which. What does that mean? That means that our standard internally is greater than what they are shooting for, and that's their prerogative, that's their choice. I mean, it's not, like you said, it's not their responsibility to make us proud. But if we can become the men that we are proud of, sincerely, not I'm so proud of me because, like not ego, I mean actually proud.

Speaker 2 25:59

And so Emilia said one time what are you most proud of this year, like, are you proud of the revenue? And I said it's the way we made the revenue that I'm most proud of, because we helped a lot of people to make that revenue. And that revenue is only a small fraction of the help that we've given to people, because most of what we do is free, and it's been that way from the beginning, even as we've gotten deeper into business. But at the end of the day, it is become the male role model that I never had, and that's why we work. I think at our core, that's what we're both trying to do, just from different lenses.

Speaker 1 26:38

Well, to your point, my standard for me is higher than anybody else's standard for me, that's. I think that's a really good thing. Yeah, it's challenging, but one of the best way. And again, I make mistakes all the time. I have impatient moments with Taryn, I'm sure I have impatient moments with Alan. I am far from perfect. I have so much work to do but my standards for myself, I think it allows me to be okay with taking ownership for feedback, because the truth is T Tara and I have had conversations and I just say, yeah, you're right, I have to get better. That's the answer. The answer is I have to get better, that's all.

Speaker 2 27:20

Every time, Almost every time.

Speaker 1 27:21

Yeah, but that's because you're not necessarily telling me something I don't know. You're probably highlighting something that hasn't gotten to the point where I didn't. Maybe I didn't know or I just didn't realize it was so far below my standard.

Speaker 2 27:38

You're highlighting an area where I've been riding the lightning.

Setting high standards for oneself

Speaker 1 27:40

That's probably that's a part of it, but going back to what we talked about originally, that's the. For me, that's the best thing to have pride in. I love the podcast and I love we have 1,800 episodes Awesome, that's cool. I love the podcast and I love we have 1,800 episodes Awesome, that's cool. I love that. There's a little piece of me that gets a lot of significance from that. When I go on other podcasts and they say you have 1,800 episodes, there's a piece of me that, but not like it was in the beginning. It's different. I'm proud of that.

Speaker 2 28:04

I'm proud of what we created, for sure, but I'm more proud of who we've become in the process us, and I don't know if that'll ever change what if fulfillment really is finding a way to be both successful and stay who you really are, because I was thinking about it being a good person and having that be your focus is a challenge in itself and I'm not going to lessen that. But doing that and being really successful is like very difficult.

Speaker 1 28:38

I just had a filler word like damn.

Speaker 2 28:40

I was trying not to touch the microphone and not use any filler words. I probably used a couple.

Speaker 1 28:44

I haven't recognized.

Speaker 2 28:46

You haven't so because I always I said this on a podcast recently. I know we gotta jump I said being successful, I actually think is pretty easy, and being fulfilled, I think, pretty easy. I think doing them together is nearly impossible. It's so difficult. Being just healthy, I think, is much easier than being healthy, wealthy and in love For sure. It's significantly easier. It's exponentially harder because being good men if that was all we were trying to do and we didn't care about being successful, that would be a lot easier. We tried and we went broke. It was easier. It really was. It was easier when that was what we were doing. And then we went broke and we had to find a way to be good men and be successful, and I think that that's hopefully what everyone's after, and I think that that's how you can be proud of you is can you provide, can you take personal responsibility, can you achieve and be a great person, unique to who you are, not what people are imposing on you?

Speaker 1 29:56

you last thing before we go, and I know this probably won't land, but I just I feel like it's important for me to say it, just because I, I don't know, maybe there's one person out there that it'll land for. I said this to a client one time. They said hey, my, my family hates what I'm doing. They don't believe in me, they're very negative, they are in opposition of all the things that I'm trying to accomplish. And I said something very similar I this might not land at all. This is hyper-logical. There's almost no emotion in what I'm about to say, but maybe it'll break something for you, I don't know.

Speaker 1 30:23

I said I think it's important for you to understand that most likely, statistically speaking, the people that are in direct opposition of you becoming the most proud version of yourself are probably going to leave this earth long before you do. And when they do, you'll be freed up to do whatever it is you want, and it might be too late. You might have a family and you might have a household and you might have responsibilities, and your circumstances will be different than they are today. I'm not willing to take that risk and I've never been willing to take that risk. That is the potential truth that I offer to you.

Regret-free and taking ownership of life choices

Speaker 1 30:59

Eventually, your parents will die, and most likely will be before you, and then you'll be sad and heartbroken and it's going to be traumatic and it's going to be terrible, but one day after that you'll wake up and say, wow, now I get to chase my dreams. Are you okay with that? Yes or no? Because if not, there is something you can do about it today, and I just offer that as a little bit of a perspective. Again, hyperlogical, no emotion in there at all. I understand that's a weird way to think of things, but that is the truth. That is my truth. No, it's the truth. That's my truth. No, it's the truth. That's my expectation.

Speaker 2 31:33

Statistically speaking.

Speaker 1 31:33

that is the truth, right right, so I'm throwing that out there. I know it's weird as shit, I understand that, but I just I don't know how many people. Nobody will ever really know this, but what are the statistics on how many people get to the end of their life regretting their lives because they didn't make a decision, because their parents didn't approve of it?

Speaker 2 31:57

Oh, it's got to be high, got to be high, real high, got to be high. I just don't want that for anybody in the MLU community. Yeah, that's why you and I quarter-life crisis we changed everything. We did change everything. Yeah, we changed everything. So so my truth, to mirror that again.

Speaker 2 32:16

Last thing which one will you regret less? Yes, which one will you regret less? Just like those two young men with soccer versus being an engineer. And I said I'm an engineer and I've benefited from that. Engineers do make good money, like you're on a good path, but maybe it's not a great one for you. I've benefited from that. Engineers do make good money, you're on a good path, but maybe it's not a great one for you. So which one will you regret more? And that's where courage comes in, because now that you know which one you'll regret more, you have to have the courage to say listen, I'm doing this, this is my life, this is my responsibility. And then you have to take ownership for everything that comes after that good, bad and ugly can I add one thing?

Speaker 1 32:57

I don't want to be a one-upper I don't want to be a one-upper and I you said, I said it was the last thing, that you said it was gonna be the last thing and I come back in saying, real quick, this is actually gonna be the last thing.

Speaker 2 33:06

Maybe you'll say it's gonna be the last thing after.

Speaker 1 33:08

I don't know you know, I don't care I know.

Speaker 1 33:10

Yeah, this came to me earlier and then I forgot it and then it came back. Would you regret not doing something you don't want to do and succeeding or doing something you really, really really do want to do and failing? That's a. That's a conversation, I think, is that is that is worth having, internally at least. Would you rather go do something you absolutely hate and then succeed at it and be financially successful and societally successful? Or would you rather say you know what, I'm gonna give it a shot and I'm gonna go try to play soccer professionally and then maybe six years down the line you realize that ain't it? It and I wasn't good enough to play soccer, but at least I don't question whether or not I could.

Speaker 2 34:00

We should do our next monthly meetup on this. What is? This this idea of success. Regret being proud of yourself, fulfillment, something along those lines. Again, being proud of yourself, fulfillment, something along those lines Again. You'll title it but it's almost like reverse engineering, regret, or how to take a more fulfilling path, or the courage to take a more fulfilling path, or something you name it, but I do think this would be a really sexy title.

Speaker 1 34:32

It would be how to design a Regret-Proof Life. I would never do that, because I can't. You're going to have regrets for sure.

Speaker 2 34:41

But it's sexy.

Speaker 1 34:42

If I was going to write a book, that would be it right there. How to Create a Regret-Proof Life.

Speaker 2 34:49

Woo-hoo, you said design the first time.

Speaker 1 34:51

I lied and then I changed it to create. It's my book.

Speaker 2 34:54

Let me do it the way I want. I'm kidding, I'm kidding. Very well played, very well played.

Speaker 1 34:58

Next nomination. As you know, it's our goal to get a little bit better every single day 1%, less than 1%, whatever it is Just a little bit better. If you are focused on getting a little bit better every day, make it better every day. Make sure you are subscribed on whatever podcast platform you are listening to us on, or on YouTube, if you're watching us, so you never miss an opportunity to get to the next level.

Speaker 2 35:25

I'm extremely grateful. I just got my 26th client on my roster for business coaching. If you are not a business owner yet but intend to be one at some point, or maybe not even just consider it success coaching I was on earlier with a client and I said, before we get off this call, my goal is to help you improve yourself by 1%, help you improve your system of success by 1% and then help you improve the execution of that system of success by 1%. It's not going to be a quick fix. That's not what I do. But what I do is help you get on the rails and stay on the rails and improve the train tracks and you do gain momentum. This do, but what I do is help you get on the rails and stay on the rails and improve the train tracks and you do gain momentum. This is a fairly new client. He can already feel the momentum. So if you want to book a free session, you want to learn about what my program is about, my link will be in the show notes.

Speaker 1 36:04

I genuinely had this moment where you were just saying that I've never and this is not me gassing alan up I have never seen alan work with somebody who didn't get some level of results ever in the last seven years, which for me was weird to think about. When Alan does that plug, when he talks about his coaching, there is zero part of me ever that thinks I really hope Alan can help that person get results.

Speaker 2 36:26

Zero, zero percent. That's really good, that's really good.

Speaker 1 36:30

That's a shining endorsement, and this is coming from the kid who's worked with him for seven years Long time.

Speaker 2 36:36

I really appreciate that. And real quick 26 individuals. I don't say that and I think people are afraid. Well, is he going to have time for me? I do, I have time, I have availability. We do monthly, we do biweekly, we do weekly. It doesn't have to be crazy and I promise you it's more affordable than you think. So I appreciate it, kev, and it's my favorite work in the world that I can promise you. I love helping people succeed. I live for that?

Speaker 1 36:59

when will, and when will the money that I was promised for doing the shining endorsement land? Is that something you'll?

Speaker 2 37:05

send over today, or is that something I have to wait? I just sent zero dollars.

Speaker 1 37:09

Thank you so much. All right as always. We love you, we appreciate you, grateful for each and every one of you and at nlu, we don't have fans, we have family. We will talk to you all tomorrow keep it regret free next level nation.