#1791 - What Question Do You Wish You Were Asked More?

Ready to transform your conversations? In today’s episode, hosts Kevin Palmieri and Alan Lazaros dive deep into the importance of asking meaningful questions that reveal more than just surface-level answers. From exploring how they maintain their daily routines to sharing the realities of the pressure they face, this conversation is a candid look at what it takes to achieve greatness, one question at a time. Tune in for insights that could change how you connect with others—and yourself.

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Show notes:
(1:33) How are you really doing?
(4:37) We don’t have time to get into it
(5:41) Not normal
(7:07) The challenge and science behind

🎙️ Hosted by Kevin Palmieri and Alan Lazaros

Next Level University is a top-ranked daily podcast for dream chasers and self-improvement lovers. With over 2,100 episodes, we help you level up in life, love, health, and wealth one day at a time. Subscribe for real, honest, no-fluff growth every single day.

Transcript

Speaker 1 0:00

Next Level Nation. Welcome back to another episode of Next Level University, where we help you level up your life, your love, your health and your wealth. Today, for episode number 1,791, a question that we asked in group coaching that got a lot of really impactful, powerful, thoughtful, deep answers. What question do you wish you were asked more? So I've been doing this interesting thing, alan, where, if I have a podcast client, who is what can I help you with?

Speaker 2 0:34

Nothing, just sometimes Sounds good, kevin. Yes, alan, Alan, alan, lazarus, alan Alan.

Speaker 1 0:41

Alan, there's something I'm doing with podcast clients where, if they are I don't want to say struggling to do solo episodes, but maybe they are not feeling the solo episodes as much as they once did, or they're challenged with coming up with content, or whatever it may be I will literally jump on their podcast with them and then interview them for their podcast on their podcast. Nice, I love it because I love interviewing. It's still podcasting, I'm still on camera doing my thing and I get to help the client. So it's a win-win-win-win-win-win.

How are you really doing?

Speaker 1 1:12

I did one yesterday with one of our clients, aaron, and this is one of the questions I asked him because I wanted to dig deep, I wanted to make it a deep episode. I said what question do you wish you were asked more? And he said I wish people asked me how I was really doing. Not, hey, man, how you doing. Good you. I want somebody to ask me how are you really doing, below what I see, below what I understand, below what I would expect, below what I can take from me seeing you, how are you really doing? So, alan, jeffrey, I would like to ask you what is one question that you wish you were asked more?

Speaker 2 1:53

I got asked yesterday. I was on a podcast that was the best podcast I've ever been on.

Speaker 2 1:58

That I've ever guessed it on yeah of course of course, and the reason why is because he was asking me this question over and over and over again. He would, and it wasn't this question, but it was. This is kind of like a meta example of the question. He wants to actually know how I did it. What do I mean by that kind of like that client, aren, who wants to be asked how you're actually doing which, by the way, lately I've been being very, very honest with my answer. When someone says, hey, how's it going, I will actually say the truth. It's hard to do because they'll say are you good, like do you want to reschedule this? I'm like no, I'm good you have. You've been doing that too. Everyone's so used to you just saying good that when you say I'm not good, I've caught myself because I come into the.

Speaker 1 2:53

I usually come into the room that the interview is happening and I'm singing and I that's just my natural thing. Like that's how I get myself going. It's a really good icebreaker. I want to come in high energy. But somebody said how are, how are you? And I said I'm living the dream man. Is God good? And I said honestly, no, that's a lie, I'm not living the dream Things gotta suck. Right now I'm struggling.

Speaker 2 3:10

Nice.

Speaker 1 3:10

But I had to catch myself because my natural tendency is.

Speaker 2 3:13

Right.

Speaker 1 3:14

Everything's great.

Speaker 2 3:19

All things considered blurring together, I said I'm just, I'm really, really overwhelmed, but it's aligned overwhelm and it's the overwhelm that I want, and I'm excited that I'm putting more on the court than I ever have. I'm just massively overwhelmed. I've had back to backs and they're like do you, you want to reschedule, do you need help? I was like no, no, no, no, no, no, I got this. I appreciate it and they weren't being unkind. But I realized that's why we just say fine, because we don't have time to get into it.

Speaker 1 3:48

We got to do the podcast.

Speaker 2 3:49

We can't. Just because I'm overwhelmed doesn't mean we're not going to do this thing right, and so I think that that's fascinating. But anyways, that that's fascinating. But anyways, to get back to your original question yeah, answer the damn question. Will you stop avoiding it? You know he asked me how. So emilia and I have exercised every day for two and coming up on two and a half years, and the minimum I mean walking my dog counts, and that's the way I describe it. So 30 minutes of walking my dog counts. So it's not any impossible feat, but it is something that's statistically rare for sure.

We don't have time to get into it

Speaker 2 4:20

I want someone to ask me how I'm doing it, like, how are you actually doing that, though? Because that's not normal. I love answering things like that, and I think it's just the scientist in me. I think the scientist in me needs to know how am I actually doing that? Like I'm not? Yeah, I think that in certain areas, we're all gifted, and I do consider myself to, to be on the higher statistical norm of a lot of things, but underneath, I mean there was a time in my life where I didn't exercise at all.

Not normal

Speaker 2 4:55

So how in the hell? And if I were to break down the number of stars that need to align. For her and I to be able to do that, it would be fascinating. So have you done it? We don't have time to do it in this episode. I've done it in my mind. I've never been asked. It's it's almost like I'll hang out with her family, my family and we all hang out and we have fun and stuff, and there's certain things that we do that they'll be intrigued by. So, for example, 1,800 episodes we're coming up on. Okay, how did we actually do that? Like what? If we? I would love to be asked from a scientist perspective, like how in the hell did you guys do that? Like what? If we? I would love to be asked from a scientist perspective, like how in the hell did you guys not miss?

Speaker 1 5:44

I never have a good answer. I get asked that all the time Because I think I'm probably more seen as the podcast guy because I talk about podcasting.

Speaker 2 5:51

Yeah, of course You're supposed to be.

Speaker 1 5:53

I tell people all the time I don't have a good answer, it's not an option. The best answer I can give you is it's aside from my wife and my family, it is the number one priority ahead of myself. That's it. That's why we will never admit it's not an option. I can't even fathom it. It's not even a conversation, it's not even a possibility. Unless Alan and I are both incapacitated at the same time, unable to speak, there will be an episode. Will it be a piece of shit? Maybe. Yeah, it might not be the best episode, but there will be an episode. It's not.

Speaker 2 6:29

It's for other people, though there's so much underneath that I know, and we know that'll be another episode potentially, but that's the question that I love.

The challenge and science behind daily consistency

Speaker 2 6:37

I was on an interview with this guy. His name is Christopher Chris and he was. I said, interrupt me as much as you want, Because I could tell he just wanted to learn. All he cared about was he was the most curious host I've ever seen and I said dude, Because I'm telling my story. Have you ever been on an interview where you're telling your story and they and I said dude, because I'm telling my story. Have you ever been on an interview where you're telling your story and they just keep well, what did you? Yeah, and I said if I seem frustrated on any level, trust me, I'm not. I'm just trying to figure out how to explain all this because I've never been asked. He asked me what's a memory that you have with your dad? Do you have?

Speaker 2 7:13

any memories and I said I think I don't know if it's real, but I think he used to like play with me on top of a pillow, like throw me up and down on a pillow, which I don't know. Maybe, maybe I made that up, maybe that's real, I don't know because I was two and a half Right. So, but at the end of the day I said do not be afraid to interrupt me, because he kept digging underneath the surface, because results on the surface to me are fairly useless. You achieved on the surface to me are fairly useless. You achieved, you got your dream car. You've achieved most of your dreams. Like I need to know the how, how did you do it?

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Speaker 1 7:46

every detail, every little nuance, every little distinction but you've got to ask the question to get the answer exactly, and most people don't most people don't. They say, oh, that's awesome, understandable, because you've got to know what question to ask. Yeah, that I think that's the oh, that's awesome, understandable, because you've got to know what question to ask yeah. I think that's the hard thing and that's why it's so hard to explain it, because it's like how do I take seven years?

Speaker 2 8:07

It's not even seven, it's your whole life, I know but let's just say it was seven.

Speaker 1 8:11

Yeah, what's seven times 365? Seven times 3 is 21. Probably like 2,600 days. Every single day. Something happened that didn't seem that important, but in retrospect is super important, right.

Knowing the "How"

Speaker 2 8:28

That's just too many lessons to share. That's why no one asks, because the person who gets asked doesn't really have an answer. That would be a you'd have to sit down for a day and yeah, that's what you and I do all the time. That's what we used to do every Monday, right, okay? So back to the original point of this episode. What's the question that you wish you were asked more? For me, it is it's as a scientist. Can you break down how you're actually doing that? Because if I could give you a list of 25 reasons why emily and I haven't missed a workout, I could give you 25 little contributing factors. Now, some of the factors matter more than others. Yeah, but without each other, no way. Okay, so we have an accountability partner. That's number one. There's other ones? Okay, we can break it all down, and to me, that's my favorite thing in the world you, you take apart the phone and you figure out how they built it and then you build a better one.

Speaker 1 9:22

Mine would probably be what is, what is the worst part of what you do? That Like? What is the worst part?

Speaker 2 9:35

It's slightly more depressing than mine I'm kidding.

Speaker 1 9:39

No, no, it is definitely because it I mean. Why does it matter how good it is if you don't talk about how bad it is? Agreed it's not. Yeah, what is it? What's the worst part of it? Immense pressure, yeah, immense pressure. Anxiety that has come with this journey that I wouldn't have if I didn't, if I wasn't on this journey. Lack of sleep Sometimes I stay up at night thinking about stuff.

Speaker 2 10:05

Let's go deeper.

Speaker 1 10:06

Sometimes I wake up.

Speaker 2 10:08

and what the worst part? If you could put it in one sentence, Knowing full well it's not one sentence, obviously the amount okay sell me. You're talking to old kev. I'm sorry to interrupt you. You're talking to old kev. Prior to being an entrepreneur, sell him on not doing it. Tell him why it's a terrible idea. I don't know if I could.

Speaker 1 10:39

Tell him why it's a terrible idea. I don't know if I could. I mean I could try, but it wouldn't be truthful because I still think it's the best thing ever. But nice it would probably be. Just imagine you know how it was like to be on bodybuilding prep and to weigh yourself every day and measure every calorie and plan everything and make sure you were eating at restaurants that you could track. Just imagine that. But in business every day for the rest of your life, but worse, and you never. There is no such thing as a day off, because your mind never takes days off, ever Nice. And even when you're trying to relax, it's really hard to actually relax. Your body is relaxing, but your mind may never relax again. Whoa, that would probably now. Again, I'm not saying don't be an entrepreneur. Our journey is very different no that's true, though.

Speaker 2 11:29

At this level.

Speaker 1 11:30

At this level it's different. It's the Olympic thing really landed for me for the first time ever. I think I used to be afraid to talk about stuff like that because I didn't want to seem arrogant, but we're trying to be Olympic-level podcasters. Nice, I think we already are. If I'm being honest, I do believe we are. Now. Are we gold medalists? Maybe not, but we're Olympic-caliber podcasters. And the consistency and discipline that's all there.

The pressures and realities of being an entrepreneur

Speaker 1 11:51

But the amount of stress and the amount of overwhelm and the amount of just I told Alan it's like Groundhog Day, not in a bad way, but the alarm. I wish it was like a movie. It would be the worst, most boring, depressing movie ever, at least the morning part. But my alarm goes off. I slide out of bed. I take my mask off. I sleep with an eye mask. I walk into, I walk out of the bedroom, close the door a little bit so the cats and Taryn can keep sleeping, walk down the hallway, walk through the kitchen, walk through the living room, walk into the kitchen. I take my nose strips off. I have a nose strip on so I can breathe through my nose. I take my mouth tape off. I mouth tape every night so I don't snore. I take my earplugs out. I have earplugs in.

Speaker 2 12:32

Next level man. There's a lot that goes into it.

Speaker 1 12:35

Next level sleep. I come into the office, I crack a ZOA and then I'm on. That's it. I start batching my emails, I start batching WhatsApp and then I'm off to the races, and that's pretty much every single day. It's awesome, I love it. I wouldn't want to do anything else but and a ton of lack of different stuff, variety. We got to go because you have three minutes before your call. Oh my God, yeah, I'm on it.

Speaker 2 13:03

I'm on it, whoa, we'll do a part two Super fast.

Speaker 1 13:06

I don't want you to be late. You're going to be late.

Speaker 2 13:08

Yeah, you're right, I got to look out for the kid. We'll do a part two on this.

The metaphor of Olympic-level podcasting

Speaker 1 13:17

We'll do a part two because I think this is a very hyper-conscious thing and I know we talked a lot about us, but I would love to talk more about the questions and why we value the questions that we get asked, because it helps illuminate parts of us that don't get normally illuminated, maybe, so maybe we'll do a part two. As always, subscribe, if you have not yet, youtube podcast platform, whatever it is every single day episode Group coaching Group coaching the 8th October.

Speaker 1 13:36

8th October 8th, 5 pm to 6 pm Eastern Standard Time. Use NLU Listener for a 30% discount. It ends up being $96.60 per month and you can pay monthly. As always, we love you, we appreciate you, Grateful for each and every one of you and at NLU, we don't.