#1812 - Is Delusion Ever A Good Thing?

Would a little bit of delusion be good for you? In this episode, Kevin and Alan explore how a healthy dose of self-belief, even if slightly exaggerated, might help you push through your limits and achieve more than you thought possible. But where's the line between helpful confidence and harmful fantasy? Tune in to discover how understanding this balance can impact your life, goals, and self-worth. This conversation is packed with real talk, practical insights, and laughs.

Links mentioned:
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Alan’s Coaching: Alan@nextleveluniverse.com
Next Level Group Coaching - https://www.nextleveluniverse.com/group-coaching/
Group 16 - The 1st call is on Tuesday, October 8, 2024, at 5 PM EST, and the group runs for 3 months. Discount Code for N.L. Group Coaching (30% off): NLULISTENER

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For more information, please check out our website at the link below. 👇

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Show notes:
(1:5

🎙️ Hosted by Kevin Palmieri and Alan Lazaros

Next Level University is a top-ranked daily podcast for dream chasers and self-improvement lovers. With over 2,100 episodes, we help you level up in life, love, health, and wealth one day at a time. Subscribe for real, honest, no-fluff growth every single day.

Transcript

Speaker 1 0:00

feel yourself A moment where you're walking into a room where you don't feel like you belong, I think a healthy, constructive amount of delusion. Not, I am the best and everybody in here should be kissing my feet. Not, no, not that. No, no, no.

Speaker 2 0:16

The second road is the hybrid. You do half and half and then eventually the long-term one pays for the rest of your life and then you can go all in on it, or you can do what Kevin and I did, which is jump ship, go all in and basically almost die. And I said don't do the third one. I can tell Like, unless you absolutely have to.

Speaker 1 0:35

Welcome to Next Level University. I'm your host, kevin Palmieri, and.

Speaker 2 0:40

I'm your co-host, Alan Lazarus.

Speaker 1 0:43

At NLU, we believe in a heart-driven but no BS approach to holistic self-improvement for dream chasers.

Speaker 2 0:49

Our goal with every episode is to help you level up your life love health and wealth.

Speaker 1 0:56

We bring you a new episode every single day on topics like confidence, self-belief, self-worth, self-awareness, relationships boundaries, self-worth, self-awareness, relationships boundaries, consistency, habits and defining your own unique version of success.

Speaker 2 1:11

Self-improvement in your pocket, every day, from anywhere, completely free.

Speaker 1 1:18

Welcome to Next Level University, next Level Nation. Welcome back to another episode of Next Level University, where we help you level up your life, your love, your health and your wealth. Today, for episode number 1,812, I have to adjust that on the fly as well is delusion ever a good thing? Again, this comes from a conversation I had with a young entrepreneur who is very self-aware and loves to ask good questions and he said do you think delusion could ever be a good thing? And I said I think it depends on the type of delusion.

Speaker 1 1:59

I said it's unfortunate because there are people that I know personally, that I do care about, that are delusional from a place of self-worth. They have delusionally high self-worth and they think that they are going to accomplish stuff that they're just not going to accomplish because they just don't think they have to try. Feeling guided is wonderful. I love, I think that's important. Feeling guided is great.

Speaker 1 2:25

But feeling guided can also be to your own unfortunate detriment and I think that's where delusion comes in.

Speaker 1 2:34

I think there's delusionally high self-belief and I think that's a different conversation Because that, as long as you don't take your standards and put them on everybody around you, because that was kind of my thing is oh, there's people out there that have delusionally high self-belief. They're delusional about what they can accomplish, not meaning that they can't accomplish it, but meaning that maybe the majority of humans couldn't. And if they put that standard on other humans, they're probably not going to be very kind to other people. I think delusion can hurt other people. So it's almost like if you have delusionally high self-belief, my thought is maybe your delusion hurts other people. If you have delusionally high self-worth, it's probably going to end up hurting you in the long run, unfortunately, and that's why it can hurt other peopleally high self-worth it's probably going to end up hurting you in the long run, unfortunately, and that's why I think it can hurt other people too, the self-worth one, because then you're entitled you treat other people with less respect than maybe they deserve or things like that, but what an interesting question.

Speaker 2 3:38

It was a great question Based on.

Speaker 1 3:41

I've asked you Questions Last episode questions.

Speaker 2 3:43

I've asked Questions. Last episode Questions. I've asked Emilia this question Many times, because I this is a question I always ask Emilia All the time, literally Once a week Probably. What is the disempowering Belief that is disguised Itself as empowering? That's a great question.

Speaker 1 4:01

Couldn't have dropped that in the. Couldn't have dropped that in the previous episode About questions.

Speaker 2 4:05

Dude, honestly, man, you know, I didn't remember till now Straight up. Okay, we probably should have A list of questions Like hyper conscious questions.

Speaker 1 4:13

We I feel like we should have. There's a lot of lists.

Speaker 2 4:16

The Dreamliner 2.0 Just launched. I actually just got my author copy. I didn't get it, I ordered it. It's actually a pretty long lead time two weeks for the hard copy. But Lizzie shout out to Lizzie, head of director of products she just uploaded the new Dreamliner 2.0, next level Dreamliner. You can type this into Amazon next level Dreamliner. We'll put a link in the show notes and you can get your new Dreamliner 2.0. There's a question Now. It's a 90-day dreamliner achieve your dreams. One quarter at a time breaks down your dreams into milestone, into goals, into milestones, into inch pebbles we've talked about in the past. If you want more info, there'll be a link in the show notes. But ultimately we put together a list of questions to reflect on for all 90 days. So we actually do have a list and I it is lizzie and I.

Delusion as a protection mechanism

Speaker 2 5:08

She put it together and then I reviewed it and we did it together and they're really good. They're really good, yeah, all right. So, anyways, the question that I ask, emilia, is what is the empowering uh, disempowering belief that has disguised itself as empowering? Aka, where are we delulu? Where are we delusional? We're optimists, we're super growth mindset. We believe in ourselves a lot. We believe that we can have a huge impact. Where are we wrong? That's a good question. Where am I inaccurate? That is the question right there. Question when am I inaccurate? That is the question right there. Where am I inaccurate About self, about others, about the world? So I she says delusion can be valuable. I know now why she says that I'll be quick.

Speaker 2 5:55

When you're younger, if you grow up in a really tough situation, you might delude yourself into thinking your parents are good people, because you need to believe that to survive. And the metaphor here is there's a cognitive bias that you can study about delusion where, let's say, a mother the example that's used in this cognitive bias is a mother who refuses to believe that her son was killed in war, and she just it's just, it's denial, just complete psychological denial is the name of this cognitive bias. You just deny that that's the truth because the truth is too painful. So your system, your ego, your brain protects yourself from the truth because the truth is too painful. And so, yes, I think delusion can be a protection mechanism, because a seven-year-old might not a protection mechanism, because a seven-year-old might not be able to handle a 30-year-old truth right. And so I think that all of us growing up in different environments use delusion as a escape from harsh realities, and I certainly did, and that's why I loved movies, I think. I think I escaped into movies or into video games to try to cope with the harsh realities of existence.

Speaker 2 7:08

That said, as adults, assuming people are trying to be effective toward their goals and dreams, I actually think delusion is not good. I think there's an expiration date on delusion. I think you need to pursue accurate thinking about yourself, others in the world, because otherwise you can't make good choices. So I playfully always say this, and this will be the last thing before I kick it together you're good, I I say, okay, the philippines has 110 million people with very little land. Canada has a ton of land and only 38 million people. If you go to canada to buy land, that's a good decision. If you go to the philippines to buy land, that might be a poor decision. I I just and again nothing against the philippines, nothing against canadians. Please don't take this out of context. My point is you might. The gps needs accurate data of the terrain, otherwise you might drive off a cliff and then blame the world. What's the point of learning if you're not trying to get objective truth?

Speaker 1 8:07

What if the GPS takes you a different way and you see stuff that you never would have seen, but you still arrive ultimately at the same destination?

Speaker 2 8:18

So you're justifying a wrong turn, not a wrong turn. You're right, not a wrong turn. A less optimal, optimal. That's what all of us are doing different route. Remember the, the loop of believe, implement, reflect, learn. Yes, that's what we're all doing, you and I mean you at 16 right you thought winnebago's. We're gonna travel the world. I'm gonna be in the mlb, whatever I don't know.

Speaker 1 8:43

So yeah, I assumed all that would have happened right now I'm gonna have beautiful wife and all this stuff I do okay so you're right about one of those everything else? I was, yeah, everything else.

Speaker 2 8:52

I was very off on okay if you had had a mentor that could speak into you and you were open to it. It's a lot of ifs right there. That mentor could help you undistort what it would actually take to do that and how delulu you were, and therefore you could have invested your time and effort more effectively and then ended up in a better place in reality rather than delusion land.

Speaker 1 9:19

Let me ask you a question. You're less delusional now than ever, you'd say For sure. Do you think you'd be in the same place you are today? You think you'd be further if you didn't have the delusions you had For sure?

Speaker 2 9:33

Absolutely Way further. We didn't even be close.

Speaker 1 9:36

Okay, okay, good, good, good.

Speaker 2 9:40

I've made so many poor choices based on absolute delusion about people.

Speaker 1 9:44

Yes, yes, yes, yes, but you also have extremely high self-belief. So it's different, it's different.

Speaker 2 9:51

Yeah, because if you don't have belief, harsh realities are just pain.

Speaker 1 9:55

Well, no, yes, but this, okay, this is my thought. You have super high self-belief, which creates a level of delusion, I want to say a level, a flavor of delusion.

Speaker 2 10:11

Mm-hmm.

Speaker 1 10:12

How many wonderful humans have you and I met that are delusionally under Several? Would it benefit them to be delusionally over for a season, because they take shots that they would never normally take?

Speaker 2 10:29

yes, but and this is the really I'm so glad we're doing this.

Speaker 2 10:34

It's a pendulum yes, so so for a season yeah, and I think that's what happens, okay, I think what happens is and I actually have a client who's going through this right now he just had a couple big wins and he swung. It's like brother, brother, like you're in delululand, you need to come back to reality, like so this is what happens. We all start out in life naked, scared and ignorant. We don't know anything. We don't know ourselves. Other people are the world. We don't know how anything works.

Speaker 2 11:00

If you were born in china, you speak chinese. You're born in the us, you speak english. None of that was a choice. You don't choose your parents, you don't choose where you're born. You don't choose like all that but and you don't know anything. So you're this like blank hard drive with, yes, genetics is a component, okay. And then you start believing things and implementing things and then reflecting on things and learning. And one of the people in book club showed up to bonnie. She is a young child who's always on book club, so I need to try not to swear. But ultimately and he hasn't sworn because of me yet, which is good, because he's talking now and I said do I have confirmation that he has never sworn because of me?

Speaker 1 11:39

and she said yes, but yet, yet he has sworn, but not because of you.

Speaker 2 11:43

Okay, yeah, no F-bombs from Little Bub because of me so far, but anyway. So he's a sponge taking it all in. He's learning about the world, he's learning about Paw Patrol and he's learning about his mom and his dad and he's learning about the world. He's currently delusional about most stuff because he's two or three or whatever, I don't know. Sorry, bonnie, I don't know how old little bub is, but he's growing and growing, and growing. So he's undistorting his reality every time he tries something. So he tries to build blocks. They don't work. He's like crap. Maybe I'm not good with blocks, am I? Am I not? So, to answer your original question, people who are under, I think they would benefit from building self-belief, meaning if they had a mentor to undistort their reality.

Speaker 2 12:29

I'll use Christina as an example. When we first met Christina five years ago wonderful human being she was under. She's more capable than she thought. I think and again, that's my opinion, but I think it's true. So we helped her, encouraged her to do more, take more shots, do more stuff, and then she learned holy crap, I am more capable than I thought. So we actually got her out of delusion and more into accurate truth. And so when she got promoted to chief executive, chief operations officer. She's like Alan, I don't know if I'm qualified. I said that's exactly why you should be the person, kev. What are you doing over there, man? I'm just taking. I said that's exactly why you should be the person, Kev.

Speaker 1 13:06

What are you doing over there, man? I'm just taking off my sweatshirt. It's getting a little warm in the studio. You know what I mean.

Speaker 2 13:10

I let you live your life, let me live my life. You know, it's funny.

Speaker 1 13:16

Kev is like sneakily taking off his sweatshirt. Yeah, I'm trying not to make a lot of noise. I failed that mission impossible one there, but no worries.

Speaker 2 13:25

Hello, hello, hello. Nlu listener. Thank you, as always, for listening to Next Level University. Real quick. I just want to jump in and let you know about the Next Level Dreamliner. This is a journal that I use every single day. Achieve your dreams 90 days at a time. It breaks down your dreams into goals, milestones and daily habits. We hope you enjoy it. The link will be in the show notes. But she said I don't know if I'm qualified. I said that's exactly it the humility to admit. That is why you are qualified, because this role is going to require tons of humility and we basically have to fail forward for the next you know 30 years.

Speaker 2 14:04

But ultimately my point of this is that we encourage Christina to lean into her potential and then she learns how amazing she actually is, and then maybe she swings over a little bit and then gets humble pie. So I think, all of us are delusional.

Speaker 1 14:18

Your belief is that delusion is not a good thing. Ultimately, Correct.

Delusion and courage

Speaker 2 14:22

Yeah, no, of course not. See, I don't think I disagree, that's fair I don't think I would have started this if I wasn't delusional well, if that's the case, then why not be more delusional right now, like what's the point of this podcast if it's not to undistort reality?

Speaker 1 14:38

it is, but I'm saying it served me. I never would have started this if I knew how hard it was going to be but that's the nature of the growth journey.

Speaker 2 14:46

But I think you never could have known in advance I know so.

Speaker 1 14:48

I think delusion served me. I genuinely I do. I think delusion served me, but only because it undiluted you for a season, yeah, for a season.

Speaker 2 14:57

Sometimes an injury makes you stronger than you you've ever been you were delusional about what this would take, but you weren't delusional that you that it could work. And if I, if I was mentoring you at the beginning and I and I could be me now mentoring you at the beginning, yeah, I would. I would give you the level of truth you're ready for to continue, to help encourage you to continue on the journey. But I might tell you hey, kev, are you sure about this?

Speaker 1 15:28

entrepreneur thing. Unfortunately, you didn't know either.

Speaker 2 15:32

You were also delusional I was delusional about people. I think you were delusional about success.

Speaker 1 15:41

One of alan used to live. Our studio, when it was in alan's mother's basement, was like 10 minutes away from mcdonald's, and some of the times I look back on were when you and I would just grind out in the studio until like 9, 10, 11 o'clock and then we would go get burgers, fries and mcflurries. What a simpler time. I remember I. So I lived like a half hour away from from the studio, from alan's, when we that's when the studio or where the studio was, and I remember I was we worked late.

Speaker 1 16:13

One night it was like 10 or 11 at night and I was going to leave and alan's mom was like kev, you can't leave, there's like a foot of snow. And I was like no, I'm good, I'm going home, I'm not staying here. I've been here all day. I don't want. I'm good, I'm going home, I'm not staying here, I've been here all day. I don't want to be here anymore, I'm going home. And I remember Alan lived in the woods. I remember driving home on the back roads and I had to get out and I had to wipe off my headlights because the snow was coming up over my hood and I had a WRX, so it was fine, I could handle it, but it was fine. I could handle it, but it was brutal.

Speaker 2 16:43

Yeah, just a memory that.

Speaker 1 16:45

I have that's something.

Speaker 2 16:46

Remember leaving the studio in snowstorms sometimes? Yeah, that was reckless.

Speaker 1 16:51

We've done some reckless stuff. I always enjoyed that. So I don't know, maybe we don't again, maybe this is one of those episodes where we don't have a conclusion. My belief is I wish I was more delusional the other way for a time not for the whole time, but for a season. I never thought I could be a speaker. I was delusional under.

Speaker 2 17:16

But here's what you're missing from this. And again, I'm a math and I'm an engineer, so objective truth is my favorite thing in the world. My objective truth is my favorite thing in the world. Objective truth is you. I always say this, I playfully say it, but I was right about you. You obviously could do all this.

Speaker 1 17:35

With you.

Speaker 2 17:36

Yeah, you have to take yourself out of the equation, all right Well you could be a speaker With or without me, but I never would have without you. Well, that's the philosophical discussion.

Speaker 1 17:49

Because you were. I think you were delusional about me in the other way. I don't know if I ever naturally would have you know, you always could have, though.

Self-belief and achieving goals

Speaker 2 17:59

No I wasn't wrong about that. You always could have. You can't win the Olympics, dude, but you can be a speaker.

Speaker 1 18:06

What about the speaking olympics?

Speaker 2 18:08

no, what do you mean? I think now, probably, you probably could, yeah, but, dude, do you know what I'm saying? I do, I'm just teasing there's no. No, I know, but this is the thing that's so fascinating. And I was on with a potential client this past week who was talking about starting a business and she she's like, yeah, I think you know, I think I think I want to start a business. I said, okay, what kind of business? And she started telling me, and I could tell, I could tell you, you're, this is like something you're considering, you're not, you don't have to do this, you definitely don't have the drive. I'm.

Speaker 2 18:41

I'm sensing a lot of lackadaisicalness. I'm also sensing a lot of naivete. She has no idea what this is actually going to take. And I didn't want to take wind out of her sails, but I did speak truth into her life and I said there's three roads. There's the common one stay in corporate certainty benefits, like, there's nothing wrong with that. The world needs corporations, the world needs organizations, the world needs people to work and build products and services. That's nothing. That's nothing wrong with that.

Speaker 2 19:12

The second road is the hybrid. You do half and half and then eventually the long-term one pays for the, the, the rest of your life, and then you can go all in on it, or you can do what kevin and I did, which is jump ship, go all in and basically almost die. And I said, don't do the third one. I can tell, like, unless you absolutely have to, I'm telling you right now, and and kev, we're the lucky ones, man, you shouldn't have done this and you know it. That's what I'm saying, yeah, but that I would. I would have been injecting truth, me, injecting delusion made you go on a journey that benefited you. But what about the 99 other Kevs in Alternative Universe that died?

Speaker 1 19:54

I didn't know them. So RIP to the homies, but I didn't know them. Rip to the homies.

Speaker 2 19:59

But do you see what I mean I do? Truth is important to make good decisions, and I can't say anything otherwise.

Speaker 1 20:07

I am closer to your end now after our conversation, for sure, because that does make sense and I do think there is an injection occasionally that might benefit you. Yeah, fair, but it definitely can't be the. It can be supplemental. I knew you were going to say it but even the smallest amount, though when I think supplemental, it's like an injection of adrenaline, you do it too much and you're going to die. You're going to have a heart attack.

Speaker 2 20:36

But every now and then, in the right circumstance, you need a little EpiPen rock and roll. Yeah, it's a hype, your Chip and knobs.

Speaker 1 20:45

I heard it on the podcast, so I did it. Don't, don't do it. I I think there's that moment when you're going into it. You know I don't think fake it till you make it. I don't think that. I do not agree with that. I think that's extremely dangerous. But feel yourself a moment where you're walking into a room where you don't feel like you belong. I think a healthy, constructive amount of delusion. Not, I am the best that everybody in here should be kissing my feet, not no, not that, no, no, no, no.

Speaker 2 21:16

Not saying a little healthy amount of ego. A little healthy, little healthy. Yeah you know, to make a of a college kid swagger of a college kid shout out to shout out to the rappers.

Speaker 1 21:26

I think if it's enough to cover. If it's enough to get you to take action. Well, I almost put myself into something that you would have then been able to use against me as truth. I almost said, if you have enough delusion to make up for the delta in delusion you currently have, but then you would have just said, well, isn't that just getting you to reality? And I saw that, and that's how you know I'm playing four, five, six, seven steps ahead. So I didn't say it.

Speaker 2 21:55

But now I'm saying the mental chess game that is this podcast.

Speaker 1 21:58

It is I have to come out of these episodes looking better than you every time, every time, undefeated. You've managed it at least half the time. I don't know about that. Yeah, all the ones where we didn't interview people that were very intelligent. Those probably weren't my strong suit. All right. What would you leave the audience with, based on the fact that we've added almost no value so far?

Speaker 2 22:25

The GPS needs three things it needs a current location that's accurate. To be effective, it needs a accurate destination location, which is your goal, and it needs the accurate data of the terrain, which mountains, lakes, detours, roads, row ads. Self-awareness is the current location, the goal. Smarter goals smart goals is the destination address and then accurate terrain is how things work and why they work that way. Objective truth you never fully get there because we're all humans and we're all imperfect and we all have perception. That's why magicians can hoodwink us and make it seem like they're levitating. Wait, wait.

Speaker 1 23:14

They're not really levitating. I know, I know you're joking.

Speaker 2 23:17

Wait wait. Okay, imagine if you actually thought all magicians were really doing those things. Then you would live your whole life wondering why you can't levitate. It's dangerous, it's not good, and watch out for social media.

Speaker 1 23:36

For a time I was very into magicians and I was into understanding what happened behind the scenes, because it boggled my mind. I just need to know how. Just tell me how. How are we doing this? So I had a season of that, and then one time, that's you trying to get objective truth.

Speaker 1 23:53

One time I was watching somebody who their magic trick was they get buried in cement in like a glass coffin and then they escape and they died on television and I was like that was too much, that was not cool, that when I was like a young, I feel like I was a young child when I saw that. Too much, yeah, too much, my goodness, all right, my that was live tv back then.

Speaker 2 24:16

I think it was live. Yeah, I think it was live tv. They only had like what a five minute lag, so or something wild times.

Speaker 1 24:23

I don't know, I don't Live broadcasts yeah.

Speaker 1 24:25

Yeah, wild times. I would say that I would probably speak to somebody who is delusionally under where you're actually really amazing and you're way more capable than you think you are, and sometimes you just need to have a moment of courage to do something that you normally wouldn't do, and maybe that's the delusion. I said that to someone recently, somebody, one of my podcast clients amazing, amazing human. You work with this person too and they were talking about how they have something coming up and they had a little bit of imposter syndrome and they didn't know what they were going to do. And I said I'm at podcast movement right now and I'm struggling. I feel very similar in ways that you feel that you would never know. You would never know. You would never know, because I think people are probably delusional about what they think of me to a degree in some ways oh yeah, for sure, of course.

Speaker 2 25:15

Right.

Speaker 1 25:16

Let me break down that delusion for you and give you some truth, so then maybe you can think more accurately. In that case you're not deluding me, I know, and I know you were waiting to say that, and right when I finished saying it I said I set him up for a W. I should have kept going and just made up, but in this case, the root of the tree is actually parallel to the other one.

Speaker 1 25:41

All right Group 16 is starting on October 8th, 2024, 5 pm Eastern Standard Time. If you want to be more consistent, if you need extra I don't want to say need if you know it would be beneficial to have extra accountability in your life and you want to feel on fire and most likely the most fulfilled version of yourself in a minute, join our group coaching program. Amy is the assistant coach. She is absolutely crushing it and the groups have all been on fire and I think one of the reasons is Amy is on fire and she is a wonderful, wonderful person to be around. So shout out to Amy for crushing. Uh, Alan has coaching slots available.

Outro

Speaker 1 26:22

Somebody actually booked a podcast breakthrough session from NLU based on the fact that I was talking about podcasting. So I do free podcast breakthrough sessions with anybody that needs help on podcasting. Again, we've learned a lot over the years and we've learned a lot of what not to do. I'd love to add any value I can. We'll have the link in the show notes for that. As always, we love you, we appreciate you, Grateful for each and every one of you, and at NLU we have family. We will talk to you all tomorrow. Please reach out. Thanks for joining us for another episode of Next Level University. We love connecting with the Next Level family.

Speaker 2 26:56

We mean it when we say family. If you ever need anything, please reach out to us directly. Everything you need to get ahold of us is in the show notes.

Speaker 1 27:05

Thank you again and we will talk to you tomorrow.