Next Level University

#1813 - Are You Living In The Past, Present or Future?

• Kevin Palmieri and Alan Lazaros

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Where should you focus your time to achieve your dreams? In today’s episode, Kevin and Alan explain how to juggle your attention between the past, present, and future. Learn how their different approaches help them grow, find fulfillment, and discover what might work best for you. Whether focused on personal growth or simply wanting to live a happier life, this conversation will give you the tools to make more intentional daily choices.

Links mentioned:
Next Level Group Coaching - https://www.nextleveluniverse.com/group-coaching/
Group 16 - The 1st call is on Tuesday, October 8, 2024, at 5 PM EST, and the group runs for 3 months. Discount Code for N.L. Group Coaching (30% off): NLULISTENER
Free 30-Minute Podcast Breakthrough Session with Kevin:
https://calendly.com/kevinpalmieri/free-30-minute-podcast-breakthrough-session-with-kevin?month=2024-08
Free 30-Minute Coaching Call with Alan: https://calendly.com/alanlazaros/30-minute-call-with-alan?month=2024-09

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For more information, please check out our website at the link below. 👇

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🎙️ Hosted by Kevin Palmieri and Alan Lazaros

Next Level University is a top-ranked daily podcast for dream chasers and self-improvement lovers. With over 2,100 episodes, we help you level up in life, love, health, and wealth one day at a time. Subscribe for real, honest, no-fluff growth every single day.

Speaker 1

I imagine that if you were to take a plate and you were to put droplets of water on the plate all over the place, eventually, when the droplets get close enough, you would drop one down. It will connect all of them at the same time.

Speaker 2

That's an example of one data point. The more data points you have, the more dots that you can connect. Ai is a good example of this. So the reason everyone's freaking out about AI is because AI has access to all the information. Connect all the dots, and so you and I have just connected a lot of dots because we have a lot of data points from a lot of different walks of life, because this is what we do for a living.

Speaker 1

Welcome to Next Level University. I'm your host, kevin Palmieri, and.

Speaker 2

I'm your co-host, alan Lazarus, at.

Speaker 1

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Speaker 2

Our goal with every episode is to help you level up your life love health and wealth.

Speaker 1

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Speaker 2

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Speaker 1

Welcome to Next Level University, next Level Nation. Welcome back to another episode of Next Level University where we help you level up your life, your love, your health and your wealth. Today, for episode number 1,813, my goodness, where should you focus your time? Another great question I was asked. You can always tell when I go on a really good podcast that I love because it then crosses over into our podcast. But the question that I was everything over you almost just knocked everything over yeah, thank you so much for telling us that.

Speaker 1

That would have been terrible for you. I would have kept this train rolling, baby you. We'll see what it's like without the kid Go viral. That could be it.

Speaker 2

Maybe that's the break we've been waiting for.

Speaker 1

Maybe Somebody asked me so I was talking about how we were talking about questions. You're going to see how all of this connects to why we did three episodes like this in a row. We were talking about questions and and I said I think questions are super important because it helps you look at your past, and when you understand more about your past, you understand more about your present. Because the reason you feel the way you feel today might not be based on what you did yesterday or last week. It might be based on something that happened to you five years ago that you just haven't uncovered yet. And the question that was posed to me after that was what do you think? I just lied, that's not how it happened. I asked the host. I said what do you think the the right percentage Split is of Focus, of time, of where you're putting your energy into Past, present or future.

Speaker 2

And I think he said 80% present.

Speaker 1

He said 80% present, 10% past, 10% future. And I didn't shake my head at him like Alan, I said alright, cool. And then he said what do you think? And I didn't shake my head at him like Alan, I said all right, cool. And then he said what do you think? And I said my belief, based on my experience, is 33%, 33%, well, 33 and a third, 33 and a third, 33 and a third, repeating Three, three, three, three, three. Obviously because we want to make sure we get 100% there. And that was my belief, Because I believe if you do that for long enough, you're always working on all three at the same time and then you can connect them nicely. I think it's important to understand where you've been if you're going to try to figure out where you want to get to, and obviously it's important to know where you are today, because that dictates how far you've gotten since you started the journey. So I think 33.3%, 33 and a third, yeah, .3. What do you think?

Speaker 1

I like your answer better than his, that's somehow a backhanded compliment and also a diss to the gentleman no.

Speaker 2

I've thought about this a lot. Imagine someone who worries about the past and is re-embarrassed about everything poor choice they ever made. Uses the present moment to worry about the past and then also looks into the future. Uses the present moment to worry about the past and then also looks into the future and worries in advance about everything that could go wrong. That person is 100% stuck.

Speaker 1

Wait, wait, wait. Why are we saying worry though?

Speaker 2

Because Okay, almost done. Sorry.

Speaker 1

I didn't know if. I said worry, that's why. That's why I was saying that.

Speaker 2

You didn't. That's a very negative, regardless of your allocation 10, 10, or 10, 80, 10, or 33, 33, 33. It's not good. Now imagine someone learns from the past, reflects on and learns from the past, builds in the present moment toward a bigger, better, brighter future, and their future is designed, well designed. People always say don't work in the business, work on the business. Okay, you need to do both. You have to do both. So the true answer, in my opinion, is it's completely different for everybody, but I do think that everyone should try to get to their optimal percentage based on their orientation. So this is. I don't want to over-complexify it, but ultimately, I'm more future-oriented than you.

Speaker 1

What.

Personal preferences and how they shape your optimal focus

Speaker 2

This is new information to me. This is brand new information. Yes, way more. So my percentage should be higher in the future, because I'm more future oriented and I'm not fulfilled when I'm not that. I think that's the important part yeah, and so for you, your optimal past, present, future. You're hyper conscious. You like to reflect on the past a lot. You love it. You love it. Huge self-awareness is your favorite thing ever yes yeah, that's not the case for everybody, right?

Speaker 2

yeah, so you have a higher percentage in the past than most people would be fulfilled. A lot of people don't want to look at the past. I playfully joked. I was, I forget. I was with emilia's family. We were on a boat, we were in south carolina and I remember saying something oh uh they, they have this station wagon.

Speaker 2

Has you know those old wagons that there's a seat that's facing backwards my mom way, way, way back I think I must have been two or three, because this is my birth father's side we used to sit in the back. I have some memories of being in the back of that station wagon and so, anyways, he's like yeah, come on in, you can sit in the back and relive your past. I was like, listen, I don't know if I want to live. He said relive your childhood a little bit, live it up.

Speaker 2

I said, listen, nate, I don't know if I want to relive my childhood, but the point is that not everybody wants to reflect on the past all the time, although I do think it's super constructive. So for me, I avoided the past and went into the future, and that's why therapy has been so valuable for me, because I am reflecting on the past, re-watching the movie my Own Life, reinvesting it in the future. For me, I was more future-oriented, needed more past. For you, you were more focused on the present, you needed more future and that's why you needed a coach.

Speaker 1

What's your percentage now, would you say, with therapy included?

Speaker 2

I would say 80%, future 10% past 10% present you seem hesitant. Yeah, because I'm not sure. I haven't thought about it in a while which is interesting, I'll put you on the spot Learn from the past, build in the present toward a bigger, better, brighter future.

Speaker 2

That is well designed. That's my but what? What am I doing in coaching sessions? I'm designing futures. You called me the success engineer. I think that's Probably corny, but yeah, I'm. I'm essentially trying to help people engineer a future they're going to love and then work. This is what I said to one of my clients Shout out to Adina, what's happening she? I said, here's the goal, and we're talking finances. I said your financial snowball Very impressed, very proud of you. The goal is to make it as big as possible without hating your life. Uh, which I think is kind of funny because ultimately you could maximize the snowball but you're gonna hate your life. She loves to travel, all this kind of stuff, so everyone should pick their own percentage based on what fulfills them, I think I think that's a really good answer and you're very welcome.

Speaker 1

Wait until we gotta wait till I say the full answer, because there might be some. I gotta back into the compliment. I kind of gotta send you back one just to make things even. You know I don't make the rules. No, I said something very similar on the the episode, as I said. Well, I think it depends on who you are in, the chapter you're in and the chapter you're in what do you think is yours now?

Speaker 2

because it's definitely not 33, 33, 33, 33 present man. That means you're getting what?

Speaker 1

four hours of r&r a day, or something well, that's, that's no, no, no, no, no, it's not just about. I think there's focus, there's like intentionality, but I'm not saying how much time are you spending?

Speaker 2

You said this was about where you put your time. What's the title of this episode?

Speaker 1

Where should you focus your time? Maybe it should be where should you focus on your time? I don't know. Maybe I'll change the title after. I don't know. Still trapped today, I know.

Speaker 2

I'm all over the place. I love it. Man, I'm literally joking. I appreciate it. It's been fun.

Speaker 1

In real time. There's a piece of me that's like. I don't know if I like, how silly I am. I don't know Big fan, I'm just trying to be me where I am today. There's a lot going on behind the scenes. Me being this way has made this. I'm not saying that. It's almost like. Where should your focus be?

Speaker 2

What if I purposely Make our lives harder so that you're funnier? I think you do.

Speaker 1

No, I imagine it often. I think you do, I'm convinced I don't.

Speaker 2

Not until you're funnier.

Speaker 1

Well, yeah, it's not Because I'm funny, but there's probably other reasons. There goes my mic. Tighten that thing up. I think it's because I'm funny, but there's probably other reasons. There goes my mic, yeah, tighten that thing up. I think it's because I'm more ignited. It's almost. Where should your focus be? Yeah, agreed, so I don't know why I put where should you focus your time. So maybe that won't be the title, I don't know. But yeah, it's not about time, it's about where is my focus. I think my focus is 50 future, 25 present, 25 past. Yeah, what do you think?

Speaker 2

You know me For you.

Speaker 1

Yeah, for me, for you.

Speaker 2

Probably less future, because, if you are in the context of this reframe, most of your life is spent building in the present. Everything you're building is for the future, but it's building like this podcast episode you are present for. Would you consider this present or future present? Yeah, so then it's definitely not. Yeah, exactly, see, they're all integrated. This is a confusing episode for everybody?

Speaker 1

no, I think it's good.

Consequences of living too much in the past or future

Speaker 2

I think it's good. Everyone should contemplate this, because if you're dwelling too much in the past, you're not building toward a brighter future. But if you're never reflecting on the past and running from it like I was, you're not going to get to know yourself at the deepest level. So so I think it's a really important discussion.

Speaker 1

Yeah, that's the ultimate thought. If you're saying, okay, I'm not going to spend a dollar, I'm going to do this, and I'm going to do this, and I'm going to do this and I'm going to make my future self proud, you're going to be miserable until you make your future self proud. If you're saying, and I don't worry about anything else, I don't think that's necessarily the best thing for you either, because the future is going to happen, whether you want it to or not, and if you don't prepare for the future, you become a victim of the future, potentially, statistically. And if you only live in the past, then you are going to ruminate and regret everything you've ever done or wish you did it differently, or you're going to have nostalgia for all the things that life used to bring that it no longer brings. I love nostalgia. Last night, tara and I were laying in bed and we were listening to we watched the top 10 best American Idol auditions.

Speaker 2

Nice.

Speaker 1

You want to talk about going back in time, my goodness, and I've been listening to a lot of older music, not old in terms of classic rock, but 90s, 90s, 90s, early 2000s Same. I like going back, so that's my. I guess I could have framed it better. Obviously, that's the thing for me is where are you focused? I guess I could have framed it better. Obviously, that's the thing for me is where are you focused? Are you focused on making your quality of life really good right now at the expense of your future? Are you focused on your past more than you are your present, at the detriment of your present, which also is the detriment of your future? That's kind of my jam on this.

Speaker 2

There's a term called asset allocation in finance and this is just asset allocation, but for time, effort and money. So everyone out there watching or listening, you have time, effort and money and you can put those into reminiscing on the past, learning from the past, or nostalgia. Watching an old movie I always love to do that. It's very nostalgic, but I also learn to like, oh, this movie's garbage compared to what I. That it's very nostalgic, but I also learned to like, oh, this movie is garbage compared to what I thought. Or it's really good, or you can build in the present. That's like Kevin and I work a lot, so a lot of people say, well, that sounds terrible and honestly, it is.

Next Level Dreamliner: the planner, agenda, journal, and habit tracker to rule them all. Get a copy:

Speaker 2

And and it's also fulfilling and our future is getting brighter every time we do that. And then the other one is you can go into the future and get excited in advance for things you can big trip coming up. Fall is coming up. Maybe you like fall and you can also design a bigger, better, brighter future. But then you have to sacrifice in the present. Hello, hello, hello. Nlu listener. Thank you as always for listening to Next Level University. Real quick, I just want to jump in and let you know about the Next Level Dreamliner.

Speaker 2

This is a journal that I use every single day. Achieve your dreams 90 days at a time. It breaks down your dreams into goals, milestones and daily habits. We hope you enjoy it. The link will be in the show notes. Money is a good example. Let's say you have a hundred bucks. Kevin's saying you can put 33 dollars on a movie that you watched in the past that you want to re-watch. You can put 33 dollars on going to the movies today I was using movies and then you can spend 33 to invest in an investment account so that you can see more movies in the future, and I think that everything's kind of that and the only takeaway that I would have is just be intentional. Make sure you're aware of the amount of time, effort and money you're putting into each bucket, because those are the three buckets past, present and future and there's a constructive and destructive asset allocation for lack of better phrasing.

Speaker 1

Has there ever been a time where you lived in a bucket? That wasn't the future, definitely.

Speaker 2

College Alcohol. Whenever I drink alcohol, this was the problem. I took all of me, all that is Alan, and I put it in. What are we doing tonight? Baby? Imagine all the future orientation, all of Alan in one night. That's what alcohol did for me. It brought everything to the present. That's the only time I've ever been able to be fully present and I think that's a very common type, a achiever thing. Back to the genius stuff. But ultimately I wasn't fulfilled because the next day you wake up and mostly just like not only do you feel terrible, but then you realize that your future, you're here for greater purpose and I think everyone is here for a certain calling and I think everyone has push and pull, and Kev talks about how he has to push himself. More than I do, I'm more pulled and everyone has to figure out their own sort of push and pull, I guess, and everyone has to figure out their own sort of push and pull, I guess.

Speaker 1

isn't it interesting how I have to push myself to accomplish stuff but I don't get pulled by the same stuff you get pulled by in terms like negative stuff, vices, I guess, and maybe that's a good episode at some point.

Speaker 2

Yeah, for sure, the push and pull thing, because you're you're pulled to be really generous with certain people and things like that and that's part of your calling, and I'm pulled for certain like to over deliver on trainings or coaching or whatever. So we have our own calling and that's a whole, nother facet of this.

Speaker 1

We haven't talked about that in a minute, though Purpose, I know we should. I would love to. Yeah, I'll mark it down. I feel like we could do a really cool episode on that. Yeah, agreed, it's. You know this is a weird thing, and then we'll get out of here because I know I know alan has a. Oh my god, I just almost printed stuff.

Speaker 1

Hold on you have a printer uh, yes, yes, I don't even have a printer. You don't have a printer. Ceo of a future gazillion dollar world changing business doesn't have a printer at his home. No printer. Can't even call yourself an entrepreneur. It's Terrence printer, it's not mine.

Speaker 2

I didn't have it. I did know that, yeah, I wouldn't have it wasn't for her.

Speaker 1

It's a nice printer right over there. I can see it, brother. It says says what's up, brother? Mostly digital. Well, you don't have to do, I take care of the tax stuff.

Speaker 1

So you don't really have to worry about any almost any paperwork ever. I kind of just do it for some reason. I don't know why. I don't know what I'm doing. You know, it's kind of a whole thing. This is what I was thinking, and again, this would be a cool episode too. I just don't know how I would make it. I don't know if anybody would resonate. Do you feel right now that you're going through a growth season where so much makes sense in such a short amount of time? It almost seems like I've gotten a year's worth of awareness over the last month yeah, the breakthroughs it's uh.

Speaker 2

One new data point connects so many dots.

Speaker 1

Yeah.

Speaker 2

There's a lot of that lately. The growth is very exponential, the awareness is very exponential.

Speaker 1

Why? Why is it happening at the same time for us?

Speaker 2

Okay. So this is the analogy I use and I hope that it lands. I picture a bubble above all of our heads, you know, one of those thought bubbles like in cartoons, of course. Okay, now knowledge is little dots, okay, little dots, okay. And these dots, the more you have, the more you can draw a vivid picture of the world in your mind. I think when you add one specific dot that was linking like a thousand of them, all of a sudden you see yourself, the world and others completely differently. It's, it's almost like I know there's 195 countries, despite a post.

Speaker 2

Kevin saw once of a podcast that's apparently been listened to in 2020.

Speaker 1

So here's the thing, though. Then I saw the same number somewhere else about countries and territories. Oh okay, but they didn't say that in the post. They said countries, not countries and territories.

Speaker 2

So there might be 200 and something.

Speaker 1

countries and territories Fair fair.

Speaker 2

Okay, so there's 195 countries. Emilia asked me a question yesterday about Massachusetts. What's the average annual income? I guess 65. It was actually 66. She's like how did you do that? I said just accumulation of knowledge. That's an example of one data point. The more data points you have, the more dots that you can connect. Ai is a good example of this. So the reason everyone's freaking out about AI is because AI has access to all the information.

Speaker 2

Connect all the dots connect all the dots, and so you and I have just connected a lot of dots because we have a lot of data points from a lot of different Walks of life, because this is what we do for a living. That's actually one of the reasons why you and I Will always mean more than you, probably, but it's very hard to Uh, coexist, I guess, with people who aren't as aware, because we are so exponentially more aware because this is what we do for a living. Like, we're not more aware than doctors about doctoring for lack of better phrasing but we're more aware about the human condition, because the human condition is what we study every day. So it's, it's definitely interesting, uh, and I think that this chapter has been a big breakthrough chapter for you and I of a lot of stuff making a lot of sense, and I think next year or next quarter we'll probably be confused again.

Speaker 1

Analogy. First thing, I always am afraid to say stuff. I do feel like you and I are both very, very aware, and we spent years, years, years, years years. I'm always afraid to say stuff like that because I don't want to sound like an asshat.

Speaker 2

I'm years. I'm always afraid to say stuff like that because I don't want to sound like an asshat. I'm always afraid, yeah, say stuff like that. I appreciate your courage. Thank you, brother. Do you do you? I know we gotta jump do you believe what's your truth? Do you believe we are more aware? Like what? What percentile do you think in terms of holistic awareness?

Speaker 1

I don't know if I'm good enough with numbers to know, but I had that thought recently of yeah, no, I don't know anything about the medical field, but that's because I haven't studied the medical field. And all the time that somebody spent studying the medical field they weren't necessarily studying the human condition and consistency and habits and ego, and so it makes sense.

Speaker 2

This is kind of the only thing we've studied over the last seven years yeah, the compound effect of that is getting wild it's up there because we meet so many people well, I told alan people from so many countries, so many different walks of life. All the time we learn so much from so many people, it's, it's really wild it is. I told alan, I feel very blessed by that. Go ahead same grateful great, same same.

Speaker 1

I went on a couple podcasts. One was somebody was like going to mit, which is one of the best colleges on the planet? Right, it's the best technical college in the world and somebody else who was like, worked for microsoft and all these other companies. That was very intelligent, showing me their how was that for you?

Speaker 1

they were both really cool humans. It was good. I felt smart. I felt so that for me was you want to talk about? What did we just do? The episode on Delusion? I was terrified that it was going to be terrible and they weren't going to like me and I wasn't going to be smart enough. I literally told one of them. I said I just want you to know. I was insecure before our pre-call. Today. I looked at you and all that you've done and it's mind-blowing to me that you want to talk. And he's like I love your story and we have similar stories and we're friends now.

Speaker 2

I was like, okay, Do you think how would old Kevin have reacted to that? Because I wonder sometimes. Sometimes people when they get on sessions with me sometimes they're very either docile or or ego up. Do you think the old kevin would have egoed up or avoided, or because I would have avoided, you think I trigger that in people?

Speaker 1

that same sort of like when you say you're blown away by him.

Speaker 2

Do you think that my achievements are?

Speaker 1

intimidating. In that regard, I probably it's hard for me because I am so close to you at this point that I don't get. Yeah, when I see you in person, sometimes I get intimidated just because I know you're fucking judging everything I do not a bad way.

Speaker 2

what was where I would say I'm aware?

Speaker 1

Alan hits him with a uh, did I do that? Yeah, yeah, I think that's your trauma response it is brother, I'm a scientist. I observe.

Speaker 2

What are you going to do I?

Speaker 1

am not making it wrong and it does not bother me in the least. If anything, it facilitates and forces me to get my shit together, I don Probably Did the old Kev would have he go up.

Speaker 1

The old Kev wouldn't have showed up. The old Kev would have canned it. I wanted to. That is my. My life is getting opportunities that I don't feel ready for and then making myself do them. That is my. That is pretty much my existence. Didn't want to do it and it went awesome. It went awesome.

Speaker 1

So the only point of that is you and I are very, very, very, very aware when it comes to this stuff, because we've just talked about it for so long. I do not mean that, and Alan does not mean that in an arrogant way. It's just I'd have to be really bad at this to have talked about it as long as we have and not to pick up a lesson or two or a bunch that we're able to share. I had something else I was going to say. Oh, quick analogy Root system, no different, but definitely more out. There's a bigger opportunity for failure here than there is with a root system. I imagine that if you were to take a plate and you were to put droplets of water on the plate all over the place, eventually, when the droplets get close enough, you would drop one down. It will connect all of them at the same time nice, nice.

Speaker 2

That's exactly what I was trying to say mine was better than yours it was better. It was better.

Speaker 1

You're absolutely right yeah, yeah, that's how I know.

Speaker 2

I'm pretty aware, human, don't try it, there's a puzzle uh-huh, and you can't see the whole picture because you're missing the center puzzle piece. And then you put the puzzle piece in and oh my, oh, it is a boat that might be better than mine I had. I had a puzzle back in the day of the cover of titanic, like the vhs cover. That's every time I talk about a puzzle, I just think of titanic, the cover of titanic yeah, that's pretty much all I think of on a daily basis.

Speaker 1

Titanic greatest movie of all time. I'll never watch it. I, I won't. I won't sit down and watch the whole thing. I won't I just too much time?

Speaker 2

it's the best man I feel like saw the 30th anniversary, or 25th, in 3d. It was awesome 25th in theaters it's awesome, you crushed it with that you were.

Speaker 1

You were disappointed in in Twisters.

Speaker 2

No, no, I enjoyed it. Okay, I enjoyed it. I actually thought it was better, better than the first one. They did a really good job. Twisters was great.

Speaker 1

What do you think of Glenn Powell? Do you think he's handsome? Of course I do. Yeah, he's a stud. I don't know, he might not be your type type of person. I would take superman is a stud, glenn powell he's a stud.

Speaker 2

He is in great shape too, yeah, yeah and he seems natural.

Speaker 1

I hope he's a good person. You know, I don't know, never met him. I hope he's a good person. I hope you're a good man, glenn. I saw a video here. We gotta go. I don't know what the hell we're doing here. We're just talking water, water cooler talk right now. I saw a video. Somebody asked him if he was in a relationship and he said no, because I'm not ready for one yet yeah, I know he seems very humble.

Speaker 2

He also said I don't know what the hell is going on in my life right now. I I don't want to bring anyone into this. This is nuts I respect aka, I just got famous really quickly and I don't know what the hell to do with it and he doesn't want to. I, yeah same, I respect, I respect it too for sure.

Speaker 1

All right, we're going to go. Group coaching starts October 8th. If you want to be on fire, if you want to become even more aware than you currently are, if you want extra accountability, knowledge, a group of other humans who are into the same thing that you are, which I know, this growth thing can be lonely click the link in the show notes and it will take you to the website. With the code NLULISTENER you will get 30% off and I believe it ends up being $96.60 per month. I believe Podcast Breakthrough Sessions are available, free Podcast Breakthrough Sessions with me.

Outro

Speaker 1

If you're a podcaster, alan has coaching spots available and Alan does a free call. If you've never done a free call with him and you want to see what it would be like, he offers a free call again. Not a lot of people want to do that because I don't know they feel entitled to your money. We would rather just get to know you and see if it's a fit, and if it's a fit, awesome. If not, no worries. Take value from it. Either way, as always, we love you, we appreciate you, grateful for each and every one of you and at at NLU, we don't have fans, we have family. We will talk to you all tomorrow.

Speaker 2

Please reach out.

Speaker 1

Thanks for joining us for another episode of Next Level University. We love connecting with the Next Level family.

Speaker 2

We mean it when we say family. If you ever need anything, please reach out to us directly. Everything you need to get a hold of us is in the show notes.

Speaker 1

Thank you again and we will talk to you tomorrow.

Head Shot

Alan Lazaros

Host
Head Shot

Kevin Palmieri

Host