#1839 - How To Increase Your Self Worth

Are you keeping the promises you make to yourself? In this episode of Next Level University, Kevin and Alan discuss why building self-worth is vital to personal growth. They offer real-life examples, practical steps, and their own experiences to help you understand how to set boundaries, value yourself, and stand up for what’s right—starting with yourself. Tune in to learn how to increase your self-worth in simple, everyday ways.

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Show notes:
(2:15) The importance of self-worth
(4:00) Personal experiences with setting boundaries
(10:34) The Pyramid of Self-Worth Framework
(11:54) Keeping promises to yourself
(14:28) Setting boundaries and honoring core values
(18:09) Meet l

🎙️ Hosted by Kevin Palmieri and Alan Lazaros

Next Level University is a top-ranked daily podcast for dream chasers and self-improvement lovers. With over 2,100 episodes, we help you level up in life, love, health, and wealth one day at a time. Subscribe for real, honest, no-fluff growth every single day.

Transcript

Speaker 1 0:00

what advice would you give to somebody who wants to build self-belief? You tell them to keep promises and set goals and that Okay. What would you tell somebody who wants to build self-worth? Tell that to yourself, because you're going to say the same thing. Oh, you're hitting snooze every day when you wake up. Is there anything we could do to kind of turn that in the opposite direction? I can imagine that doesn't make you feel very valuable within yourself when you do that, right, you're kind of abandoning your own goals first thing in the morning.

Speaker 2 0:25

But this one courage stand your ground when people are trying to put you down. It's not just that, it's have the courage to tell people what you really believe and do it in a way that is conducive to the context and the person and the relationship, and that's why it's so hard Welcome to Next Level University.

Speaker 1 0:43

I'm your host, Kevin Palmieri.

Speaker 2 0:45

And I'm your co-host, Alan Lazarus.

Speaker 1 0:48

At NLU, we believe in a heart-driven but no BS approach to holistic self-improvement for dream chasers.

Speaker 2 0:54

Our goal with every episode is to help you level up your life, love, health and wealth.

Speaker 1 1:01

We bring you a new episode every single day on topics like confidence, self-belief, self-worth, self-awareness, relationships, boundaries, consistency, habits and defining your own unique version of success.

Speaker 2 1:17

Self-improvement in your pocket, every day, from anywhere, completely free.

Speaker 1 1:23

Welcome to Next Level University, next Level Nation. Welcome back to another episode of Next Level University, where we help you level up your life, your love, your health and your wealth. Today for episode number 1839, how to increase your self-worth. This is something that we didn't know existed until a few years ago, where Alan's wonderful partner, emilia, brought it to Alan and then he brought it to me and I was like I don't think so, man. I think that's wrong. I don't even think that's a real thing. I think that's made up and that's kind of the internal journey that we've been on and we've worked on that and we've realized that a lot of our issues for lack of better phrasing and a lot of our resistance and a lot of what we've been through has affected our self-worth and we've had to work on our self-worth very diligently.

Speaker 1 2:15

And I was talking about this recently on a podcast. I said the the hardest thing about self-worth is a lot of the things that you do to build it make you feel bad about yourself. And the example I always use and I've mentioned it before, but I don't expect anybody to remember it because we do a lot of episodes. If I'm going to be on a podcast and the podcaster is running more than five minutes behind. So if I'm in a waiting room for more than five minutes and they don't show up, I leave and I go to my next thing. Statistically, we've learned that if somebody's running five minutes late for a 30-minute meeting, they're not coming. The odds of them showing up are just pretty low 15%, okay. And then, even if they do show up, what's going on? Is my audio messed up? Not to my knowledge.

Speaker 2 3:04

Why I hear a weird echo.

Speaker 1 3:06

Maybe Are you high on some sort of illicit substance.

Speaker 2 3:11

No, no, I feel. I know we had an audio issue recently, so I'm always concerned.

Speaker 1 3:17

I believe you'd have to check in the old Audacity machine.

Personal experiences with setting boundaries

Speaker 1 3:20

And look for your waves, continue. Oh, if somebody is running five minutes behind, I just leave and I go to my next thing, not because I'm the man, not because my time is supremely valuable, it's more, we just realized over time that if somebody was five minutes late, they probably weren't coming, and this is how I knew I had a self-worth issue. Somebody emailed me nine minutes late one time and they said hey, Kev, I'm in the waiting room ready to go, looking forward to our interview today. And in my mind I already started ooh, I am a bad person. This person's excited for the interview. They're waiting for me. I waited for five minutes. They didn't show up.

Speaker 1 4:00

I went to my next thing and then I saw their email email later and I started to write an email hey, alan. And then I wrote my apologies and I said wait, wait, wait. What's going? Is it my, is it my apologies? Is this my bad? Is this my fault that I mess up? I said let me sit with this for a second. And then I wrote it again hey Alan, so sorry, I missed you today. Like, yeah, good, okay, cool, and I it literally took me 20 minutes to write this email because I kept apologizing and taking over ownership for the fact that the person was late. And now I feel bad, that they're going to feel bad that the interview didn't happen, and this is what I realized. I would rather abandon my own self-worth to make them feel better about themselves than just say, hey, alan, sorry, it didn't align today.

Speaker 1 4:51

I was in the waiting room for five minutes and our company policy is we wait for five minutes and if the person doesn't show up, we just hop to the next meeting. We've done a lot of interviews and what we've seen over time is if somebody's running more than five minutes late, the interview just usually doesn't happen. I'm more than happy to reschedule. I did my research. I love what you're all about. Let's get something on the calendar that versus hey, alan, my bad man. I was in the room for five minutes and I didn't think you were coming, so I left and I'm so sorry. I really hope we can reschedule. I'm so sorry to have wasted your time. I'm sure something came up. I completely understand. It's just. I am just abandoning myself, abandoning myself, abandoning myself, abandoning myself, and of course, I'm not going to feel good about myself. I'm not valuing myself. That was one of the key indicators for me that I had a struggle with self-worth and it's been a journey of doing the thing that is uncomfortable but necessary, just like I think everything kind of is.

Speaker 1 5:55

You and I had a conversation the other day. You said is there anything bothering you about us? And I said I think it's just the time thing, because I feel like you don't value my time. And I said I know that's not your thought Like I'm going to be seven minutes late so I can mess with Kevin's self-worth today. I know that's not what it is, but sometimes and I suck at this, so this is not advice. This is advice to me Sometimes having the courage to explain how your feeling is going to help your self-worth, because you're not going to resent the person and you're not going to resent yourself and you're not going to hold it in, and you'll get the release of good feelings when you say, hey, can I tell you something that's kind of been bothering me lately, and then it goes better than you expect and kind of becomes this cycle. So I always enjoy episodes like this because I don't know, I don't often find that two men are talking about self-worth. So I always enjoy conversations like this because I think they're different.

Speaker 2 6:53

We have a framework called the pyramid of self-worth. I have it up and I want to give credit to Emilia because I didn't understand self-worth whatsoever. She said you know, self-belief and self-worth are different, right? And I said, no, I don't think so.

Speaker 1 7:11

No Same same thing.

Speaker 2 7:12

They're very same. Same but different. No, they're not. Not the same at all, nope. So self-belief is your ability, your belief in your own ability to build the castle. Is your ability, your belief in your own ability to build the castle. Self-worth is you protecting and honoring the castle and renovating the kitchen and redoing the roofs and and reinvesting in it and holding it of value and not allowing your friends to come over and spill beer on the carpets. And what's the difference between a mansion and a shack? It's how much you value it.

Speaker 2 7:47

I talked about how the first time I've ever actually enjoyed a car is the tesla model y we have. I love this freaking car. It's a smart car. I can make it do stuff for my phone. It's the best.

Speaker 2 7:58

And I've never really liked cars I've never cared but it's a safe vehicle. It drives itself in supervisor mode. It's awesome. And I said how when I used supervisor mode it's awesome. And I said how when I used to drive crappy cars and that was.

Speaker 2 8:07

I was kind of broke in high school and college, not kind of. I was very broke in high school and college and I would drive crappy cars and so I was so used to crappy clothing and crappy cars. And now I have these nice shirts and I talked to Kev about how it felt weird to have nice things. And it does feel weird to have a really, really, really nice car. I mean, this is again as far as cars go, it's not a $250,000 car, but it's a really, really nice car and I was talking about how, when I drove crappy cars, I would put my coffees on the roof, and that was one of the benefits of having crappy stuff is you don't have to worry about it as much yeah yeah, fits of having crappy stuff is you don't have to worry about it as much.

Speaker 2 8:45

yeah, you can just oh, you scratch the paint oh darn, that's so upsetting.

Speaker 2 8:47

Another one, another, scratch you took twenty dollars off its value right, and so it was an adjustment to have to make sure you park in certain areas and make sure no one hurts your car and all that kind of stuff. But ultimately, when you value yourself, this is the metaphor. I treat that tesla really really really well. I treat emilia really really really well. Am I treating really really well? I treat Emilia really really really well. Am I treating myself really really really well?

Speaker 2 9:09

And I do believe that in the past I always had a lot of self-belief. I struggled with self-worth and I didn't treat myself super well. I was drinking too much and too often I allowed people to walk on me. I never stood up for myself Not never, but rarely. I definitely didn't hold and honor clear, specific boundaries, and I think in hindsight I was a social coward.

Speaker 2 9:34

And so we're going to give the framework the pyramid of self-worth, and the cool part about a pyramid that I love is that it has to grow wider before it can grow taller. So I have a client, his name's Cole, and he wants to be a 1% value man. He wants to be a high value man and he is. He's one of my favorite. I mean, it's just awesome. I actually just got off with him and I said if you want to be a high value man, you have to have high self-belief. The higher your self-belief is, the higher you'll set goals. The higher the goals are, the higher standards you'll have to hit. The higher standards you have, the higher influence you'll have, the more resourcefulness, the higher skills, all this different stuff, and ultimately, hopefully, that will lead to higher self-worth. And we're really sort of designing it that way, because he does have high self-belief, he doesn't have higher self-worth, and so we've been working on that. He said it's at least doubled in the last couple months. It's been tremendous. So these are the five and I'm going to start from the bottom up. I've got it up on my other computer.

Speaker 2 10:34

Number one is promises. Keep the small promises that you make to yourself, and this is a you versus you thing. This is if, kev, I always say, if you had a friend who broke as many promises to you as you've broken to yourself, how much would you value that friendship? If Kev said, yeah, man, I'll be there, and he never showed up, eventually, that friendship I just wouldn't value it. And so you're doing that to yourself all the time, and so when you say you're going to go to the gym tomorrow. When you go, even when you don't feel like it, you build value, you're building equity, you're building yourself up.

Speaker 2 11:08

I picture like playing Jenga Every time you break a promise to yourself, you're taking away one of those little Jenga blocks and eventually the whole thing is going to crumble and you, versus someone who really does love and value themselves and appreciate themselves, is someone who honors the promises they make and unfortunately, our current self makes promises in the future that we can't keep, particularly if you have a lot of self-belief. I'll go to the gym tomorrow for three hours and then you get there and it's no, no chance, no. So set promises and honor promises and start small and let it build, and that requires humility. So keep and honor the promises you make to yourself. That's number one. Something you want to add? I think what we probably should do is have you add a little something on each of these five. That way it's not me talking the whole time.

Keeping promises to yourself

Speaker 1 11:54

A little blurb, if you will Promises. I've always said this. I think this is one of the reasons the snooze button is so dangerous, because you wake up and you break the first opportunity. You have to keep a promise to yourself, and it's very easy for the rest of the day to go off the rails, because that's the direction that you have already created momentum in. So I would say that, and then I would also say promises help self-trust. When you're keeping promises to yourself, you feel like you're in control. You feel like you're in control of what you're doing. This is what I'll say and this is for all of them. Ultimately, all this really is is staying in alignment. This is staying in alignment with what is best for you.

Speaker 2 12:40

All of these Ultimately, you have this written on your whiteboard about staying in alignment.

Speaker 1 12:47

So stay the effing course. I'm not going to swear as much as I did in the previous episodes. We were fired up on those Saturday a little easier. But the point is, if Alan came to me and Alan was like I don't, dude, I just don't, I don't know, I don't have any, I feel like I don't, I don't know I don't have any. I feel like I don't have any self-belief or any self-worth, and I said, okay, these, does it make sense to you that you don't, when every morning you say you're going to do something and then you don't Like yeah, no, that kind of makes sense.

Speaker 1 13:16

Sometimes I think you have to take yourself out of what you're going through and just imagine that you were giving somebody else advice. What advice would you give to somebody who wants to build self-belief? You tell them to keep promises and set goals and that, okay, what would you tell somebody who wants to build self-worth? Tell that to yourself, because you're going to say the same thing. Oh, you're hitting snooze every day when you wake up. Is there anything we could do to kind of turn that in the opposite direction? I can imagine that doesn't make you feel very valuable within yourself when you do that. Right. You're kind of abandoning your own goals first thing in the morning. You're abandoning your alignment first thing in the morning. So, as you're hearing these, that's what I would say. Imagine you're giving advice to somebody else about the thing that you're struggling with.

Speaker 2 13:59

Yeah, picture someone you really care about. What would you want for them? Would you want for them to let themselves down all the time? Would you want for them to break promises to themselves all the time? Or would you want them to be someone of value who consistently shows up for themselves? And yeah, that's really what this is. This is your relationship with yourself. Number two boundaries Set and honor clear boundaries.

Speaker 2 14:28

Emilia said this on the Conscious Couples podcast. She said a boundary is a honoring of a core value. It's the physical representation of honoring a core value. So, for example, if I want to wait train and she has a late event so she had out of the mud last night and that goes late, and I want to wait train, I. If I and I didn't, I ended up. I'm not not feeling super well, so I ended up walking with her instead. So it's probably not the best example, but I did want to weight train.

Speaker 2 14:59

Okay, we'll use today, today, as an example. I'm weight training today, no matter what. I don't care how I feel. I'm doing it, making the promise right now, and I'm going to keep the damn promise to myself tonight. Whether she wants to come or not, I'm going, no matter how late she's working. I'm going, and I'm going to have to honor that boundary, meaning I'm going to go with or without you. I want you to come with me. However, I'm going regardless. I don't care if I have to run there myself. The point is I'm going, and so that would be an example of setting and honoring a clear boundary. Another boundary would be what you did with the time. Okay, I stayed for five minutes. I need to leave after five minutes. And now, remember, be careful with that, because I mean, if that was I don't know Evan Carmichael and you were giving a speech you wouldn't right.

Speaker 2 15:50

So this is all you need to hold humility with this. I know some people who have inflated self-worth who have taken this too far, and that's a good way to destroy valuable relationships and go out of business. However, for those of you who struggle with self-worth and don't have inflated self-worth, setting and honoring clear boundaries is uncomfortable but really important.

Speaker 1 16:14

I think it's probably one of the hardest and that's why one of the things that One of mine for how to finish 2024 strong whatever the title was was proactively setting boundaries in advance, because during the holidays I know how hard it can be to do that. You don't want to be Debbie Downer and say, oh yeah, I know everybody's having a great time, but I got to go. But if your goals are different than everybody else's, that's kind of what you have to do. When I lived with Matt back in the day, it was really hard for me at times because we would be hanging out.

Speaker 1 16:49

It would be 10 o'clock at night, we'd be playing video games, just having a good time, and I'd look at my phone and be like, all right, man, I have to go to bed. And it might be friday and now he never. He was never unkind about it, but there was always that little piece of me of like, ah, this is gonna suck. I know he wants to stay up and hang out. We both had long weeks, but I have something to do saturday morning. Maybe it's an interview or whatever. Maybe we're doing a podcast episode.

Speaker 1 17:13

I would hear getting after it, man, I always felt like a dingus Because I would. It's like it looks like I in the moment. It just looks like I am soft or selfish?

Speaker 1 17:30

Yeah, I think selfish is probably the best phrase. I immediately went it looks like I'm soft. Yeah, it looks like I'm selfish. Yeah, I know we is probably the best phrase. I immediately went it looks like I'm soft. Yeah, it looks like I'm selfish. Yeah, I know we're having a good time, but I need to put myself first here. That's all you're doing. And guess what? That's okay. That's okay.

Speaker 2 17:44

That's my two cents. The higher your goals are, the more you're going to have to do that. Yeah, yeah, as a matter of fact, the higher your goals are, the better you're going to have to be at all five of these.

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Speaker 1 17:58

If you want to be fulfilled, yeah, if you want to be fulfilled, you can accomplish goals without self-worth. It's just, it's empty. Yeah, for sure it's empty. You can still do it though. Next level nation. What is happening?

Speaker 1 18:15

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Speaker 2 18:50

Number three and we would love to see you there, number three, number three Stand your ground when people are trying to put you down. It's on, it's on, it's on. I'll never forget it. We were at a party and my man, kev, had had a few drinks.

Speaker 1 19:10

Several. This was way back, way back in the day, like the salmon of the Capistrano.

Speaker 2 19:14

And there is someone who was being a dick and, uh, maybe playfully, but underneath it it was definitely some some yeah just being a dick and I'll never forget.

Speaker 2 19:25

Kev said hey man, if you keep being a dick, I'm gonna bring you outside and beat the shit out of you, and I remember being like that's the coolest thing I think I've ever seen in my entire life. And it's just one of those interesting things where kev just, and and again, you've admitted you might not have said that had you not been drinking, because that was some liquid courage for drinking helps and it's.

Standing up for yourself

Speaker 1 19:49

I knew this person. It's not like this person was a complete, total stranger, like I'd hung out with this person. I knew this person was kind of an ass, yeah, so it was very much. This is what has to get done for the betterment of the entire party.

Speaker 2 20:00

That's this is something that has to happen regardless. Way to hero up Kev. No, I really appreciate it. Honestly, that was something at the time where I would never. I didn't have the courage to do it myself, but I think a lot of people wanted to. There have been times in the past with that person that I've wanted to say that like let's go, you and me, and I just never wanted to be a dick and I was. So you're so fearful to be a be a dick that you end up not even sharing the the truth, and so this one is my kryptonite. Everyone has all five of these, but they have one. That's really really not great For me.

Speaker 2 20:39

I was such a social coward. I break the world into two. I think. There's the real world, which is you behind the scenes when no one's watching, and then there's the social world, which is you at a party or in front of friends and family or people you don't know or whatever, and I. Those are two different worlds. I separate them. I in the real world, when no one's watching, do courageous things. Often in the social world, I tend to dim and not share what I really think and believe.

Speaker 2 21:09

It's been really hard for me to to tell you what I really think. You said to me once on a podcast recently. You said something along those lines Do you think I'm a better speaker than you, or something like that, and I'm sitting there going no, I don't think that. I do think that you have the potential to be an extraordinary world-class speaker. Do I think you will be more articulate than I over the long term? I would say no Now. Do I think there's certain people that you will always resonate more with you? Definitely. Do I believe there's more people, or certain people that will always resonate more with me? Yes, and so it's not exactly an easy comparison. We're going to get to comparison soon. Number five is my favorite. However, it takes a lot of courage to say what I really believe. I can't authentically say I might say I don't know. I don't know who's a stronger speaker. I do believe long term that I will be. It's so hard to say that because you come off like such a dick.

Speaker 1 22:07

Well, I think it, yes, and I hopefully you get to the place where the people in your life know that when they ask you a question, they're going to get the real answer.

Speaker 2 22:19

Yeah, telling the expressing what you really believe. I use the joke, I playfully say this. So please again see, look at me already justifying. I was a math thinker when I was younger. I loved math and numbers and my brain thinks in numbers and it thinks in statistics and everything's a number for me. So If a girl says, hey, do I look fat in this? And you say yes, at level six out of ten, that doesn't go well.

Speaker 2 22:50

No, and even though that's what my brain actually thinks and I'm not trying to be unkind it's not anything negative. It's just I don't think you look great in that. That's my truth and there's a way to say it, and I'll give an example. I used to say I want self-improvement to spread, like COVID. Kev said that doesn't land. I said okay, what if I say it this way? Covid was 2, 4, 8, 16, 32, 64, 128, 256, 512. It was exponentially growing. And one person gets it, two people get it. It grows exponentially. I would love for that same thing to happen with self-improvement.

Speaker 2 23:27

See how different the second one is. The first one triggers the ego and it feels unempathetic and unkind. The second one is oh, got it, it's the way you say it. So, because I'm a math mind and everything is so numbers engineers, I know, will resonate with this. It's very hard to communicate effectively with emotionally driven people when you think in numbers, because whether you want to believe, you're a great speaker or not, statistically speaking, you are or you aren't. And I'm just going to give you the truth and then you can do what you want with that. But that's not the world we live in. Most people have a psychological immune system of an ego, and they have trouble hearing hard truths.

Speaker 2 24:11

In a world, where people don't want to look in the mirror, the person who gives the truth is usually the a-hole. However, if you build your whole career on trying to help people reach their potential, you have to tell them the hard truth. I was on with a client earlier today and I had to sit her down. We were sitting there and I said I was so scared about today's meeting. She said why? I said because you said something in our last call that I think is wildly inaccurate and I think you're in trouble if you don't face the hard reality. That she said something along the lines of I want to achieve this result and it's pie in the sky, wildly delusional, gonna happen long term, but definitely not short term.

Speaker 2 24:54

And I knew that she was delusional. I knew it and I even talked to you behind the scenes about it, kev. I said I think that that's delusion. It's like it's like a self-driving car that has blind spots. It's just going to keep driving off a cliff. And I said I care about your success first, your fulfillment second and your feelings third. And do I have permission to share with you the truth? She said yes, that's why I'm here. I said okay, perfect, the truth is I think you're delusional and I think that it's possible to do that, but there's no way that's going to happen this year. We set annual goals. You're not going to jump. I know what it's taken for us to get here. You think you're just inaccurate and kev called me fat one time. The point is you have to help people. No context, that's it. Huh, yeah, yeah, I know okay in the con.

Speaker 2 25:44

In the context, I ask for the truth from kev, because that's the only way I can make better decisions, and one time he said dude, you're delusional, you're not in great shape.

Speaker 1 25:51

Alan was feeling himself. You're, alan was feeling himself. Alan was feeling himself and based on the goals that he had. I was like dude, you're out of shape, alan. I know you're not. You don't work out with anybody. You work out with Emilia. You haven't worked out with a bodybuilding bro in a minute. You're out of shape, alan. The reason I know you're out of shape is because I'm out of shape and we look similar.

Speaker 2 26:16

We're out of shape. We need to get our ass together. How interesting is it, though? That is the necessary kick in the butt for growth.

Speaker 1 26:23

For you, that's the necessary kick in the butt. I think there is a filter of truth. Yeah, yeah, filter of truth. Remember, we've said this so many times the level of the relationship dictates the level of truth. 100%, yeah. So you and I, I can say that to you If I just met someone for the first time ever and I said that they are going to be like you aren't a terrible person, Especially if they're somebody who has struggled with their body.

Speaker 1 26:54

I know you don't struggle with your body. You were a model. You've taken pictures. I've seen the outline of your penis in some of the modeling pictures you've sent me, Like.

Speaker 2 27:06

I've seen it all you know. I really hope no one clips that out. That's how we're gonna finally get the reach we want.

Speaker 1 27:18

I just make that point because you and I have both done photo shoots been on stage in our underwear for Laugh it Better, Freezing.

Speaker 2 27:27

Yeah, it is contextual, it totally is. But this one courage stand your ground when people are trying to put you down. It's not just that, it's have the courage to tell people what you really believe and do it in a way that is conducive to the context and the person and the relationship, and that's why it's so hard. There are movies where they aren't allowed to lie and people say things that are just liar.

Speaker 2 27:51

liar is a funny example where he just says he again out of kevin and I watched this when we were on the road. I think we were in pittsburgh and we watched it and the girl wakes up with him in the morning and says how was that for you? And he said I've had better. And then he he doesn't realize that he can't lie because his son made a wish. It's a movie, but the point is is that's why it's so hard to be an engineering thinker, because you really do actually think I've had better. That's the actual truth that you think, and I don't know how else to phrase that. That is, I think, what in numbers? And so out of 10, it would be a certain number.

Speaker 1 28:33

Well, I don't think. I would venture to guess most people don't have that issue with sticking up for themselves. I think it's more. Well, then you talk about it because it's just yeah, don't let people walk on you. It doesn't mean you have to do what I did. All right, cool man. If you're going to talk crap to that girl who is friends with me, you can talk crap to me and we can go outside and then I'll beat you and then you can leave and then I'm going to go party and hang out with my friends. It doesn't have to be like that. It could be more.

Speaker 1 29:07

I think this is a hard one because it's kind of like the boundaries thing, but it's when you feel that somebody is stepping on you and taking advantage of your fear of sticking up for yourself. You have to do the thing that scares you. I was on a podcast pre-call recently with someone that was trying to sell me something and I said that's not a line for me, I'm just not interested. So if that means I can't come on your podcast, that's fine For me. It's just not interesting. I don't know who you are. It's obvious. You don't know who I am. You haven't done any research on like I want to add value, that's what I'm here for. And they said, no, no worries at all. And that was it. That was the end of yes, shoot me an email with all the information, I'll take a look at it.

Speaker 1 29:58

No, no, I'm not interested. I'm here to add value. I don't know who you are and I don't know under what circumstances you would expect me to just work with you not knowing who you are. That's not what I'm here for. So I think that's a good example of when you're feeling like you're getting taken out of alignment. There's two things you can do. You can do the thing and then feel dirty about it and regret it after of oh, that person walked all over me and I didn't do anything about it. Or you can try just try your hardest to stay in alignment, and that just means do a little bit more than you did last time. It doesn't mean you have to say that, no, this is not aligned for me. Have a wonderful day, sir.

Speaker 2 30:35

It doesn't have to be that it could just be a little bit less than it was last time or, I guess, a little bit more sticking up for yourself than it was last time.

Speaker 1 30:42

I think staying in alignment requires that you say what you really believe and do what you really believe is best. Yes, yeah, yeah, we got a. We have four minutes. Okay, so you got to hammer the number four.

Speaker 2 30:50

Number four, four invest. Invest in yourself to become more valuable. This one's the one. This is it right here books, courses, coaching, therapist, yeah, yeah, why would you renovate the kitchen of a home you didn't believe was valuable? Why would you redo the bathrooms in a home you didn't believe would appreciate in value? And this one is every time you invest in your own personal development, I think that you are telling your subconscious and unconscious brain that you're worth it, and I think that compounds Compounds.

Speaker 1 31:30

I have nothing to say about that one because we don't have time. Okay, number five. Thank you, brother Compounds.

Speaker 2 31:33

I have nothing to say about that one because we don't have time. Okay, but well said, number five. Thank you, brother. Number five Make sure you're comparing apples to apples, meaning you don't compare your three episodes in podcast to our 1,800 episodes in podcast.

Speaker 1 31:49

Yeah.

Speaker 2 31:50

I told Kev about a podcast recently. I was on with someone who worked for 20 years at disney, another one who worked for 20 years at netflix I don't know if it was 20, but 15 and they produced an episode with me and it it is something it's something it was.

Speaker 2 32:06

It was the best produced episode I've ever personally seen and I had had a moment of okay, interesting. I'm going to send this to Kev and we're going to see if we can level up our production, because I think our production is great too I do, but this is another level. Whatever they're doing over there is another level and I want to level up. So if you have high self-belief, you need to compare to the ceiling. If you have low self-belief, you need to compare to people on your level or behind you yeah, this.

Speaker 1 32:34

I think this is a really good one of. Just imagine you're giving advice to someone who's dealing with the same thing. Imagine if one of your friends just started something and they're comparing to somebody who's been doing it for 15 years and they're being disheartened. What would you say, alan, you just started, man, of course? Of course you're not gonna. You're just starting. You should be proud of yourself for starting. 15 years from today. You don't know where you could be, but you're not going to be there right now, and that's totally fine. Nobody is Nobody's going to be there right now. I say don't compare apples to apple pie. Alan says that doesn't make any sense and it doesn't land. It does to me, because an apple is unsexy and a fruit and an apple sexy and a pie, and you can't compare one to the other, even though one was one, and now it's pieces in one Dude.

Speaker 2 33:17

You probably are more accurate than me. I don't know. You say it if you need to say it.

Speaker 1 33:20

I need you to be on board. I am. I need you to be on board with it. Man, I'm on board with it. All right. Speaking of on board yeah, see Interesting segue, kev. As the host, I have to keep us on the freaking rails. I knew five ways to do. Anything is going to take us off the rails. It'll be a long-ass episode. If you are looking to increase your self-worth based on what we talked about today, we talk about this a ton in group coaching, and that really is what habit tracking is going to help you with. That is what setting boundaries is going to help you with, and we will work through all of that together in group coaching and I can guarantee at the end of it, you will have more self-belief and more self-worth, hopefully, than you ever have in your entire life. So we have the link in the show notes for that.

Speaker 2 34:02

If you've never reached out to Kevin or myself Instagram, facebook, those are the two best places. Please DM us, let us know. We also have a new next level fitness accountability private WhatsApp group. We have 29 people in there right now that are just on fire. So if Q4, you want to be more consistent, more inspired, more motivated, particularly in fitness, it is the perfect group. Everybody's in there, it's awesome. And if you DM Kevin or myself, we will send you a link to that. I also think we can put the link directly in the show notes, since we have the admins that approve. But yeah, also reach out. We want to meet our listeners. Please reach out to us. If you have us on Instagram or Facebook, please DM us and the link to join the private WhatsApp group will be. It's totally free. The private WhatsApp group link will be in the show notes.

Speaker 1 34:46

As always, we love you, we appreciate, appreciate you, grateful for each and every one of you. And at NLU we don't have fans, we have family. We will talk to you all tomorrow. Please reach out. Thanks for joining us for another episode of Next Level University. We love connecting with the Next Level family.

Speaker 2 35:04

We mean it when we say family. If you ever need anything, please reach out to us directly. Everything you need to get a hold of us is in the show notes.

Speaker 1 35:12

Thank you again and we will talk to you tomorrow.