Next Level University
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Next Level University
#1840 - A Common Mistake When It Comes To Problem Solving
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Do you feel stuck in a problem that just won’t go away? In this episode, Kevin Palmieri and Alan Lazaros break down common problem-solving mistakes and offer tips to help you shift from feeling frustrated to taking positive action. They focus on building self-belief, staying resourceful, and handling what you can control to find better solutions. With insights from the movie “The Edge,” they also explore how your energy levels can affect problem-solving, giving you practical advice to tackle life’s challenges with a can-do attitude.
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Show notes:
(2:17) Problem Vs. Solution-focused thinking
(3:33) Film reference on survival and thinking under challenging situations
(6:32) Discussing time, effort, and resource management
(9:12) Realizations about adulthood and prob
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🎙️ Hosted by Kevin Palmieri and Alan Lazaros
Next Level University is a top-ranked daily podcast for dream chasers and self-improvement lovers. With over 2,100 episodes, we help you level up in life, love, health, and wealth one day at a time. Subscribe for real, honest, no-fluff growth every single day.
I'm better when things are going really well, because then I can operate more naturally. Again, this is kind of woo-woo, but, like when we did the episode on energy, I am a lower energy, so that means when I'm already a lower energy than you are, so when things are going wrong, it's even more brutal.
Speaker 2Everything's going to be alright. You just got to get back into action. Everything's going to be alright. You got this. That's the record playing in the back of my head. I don't know what your record is, but mine is. You got this. You can do it, we can do this. We got this. It's not going to be easy, but we're going to find a way to win. That is my mindset.
Speaker 1Welcome to Next Level University. I'm your host, kevin Palmieri, and I'm your co-host, alan Lazarus. At NLU, we believe in a heart-driven but no BS approach to holistic self-improvement for dream chasers.
Speaker 2Our goal with every episode is to help you level up your life love health and wealth.
Speaker 1We bring you a new episode every single day, on topics like confidence, self-belief, self-worth, self-awareness, relationships, boundaries, consistency, habits and defining your own unique version of success.
Speaker 2Self-improvement in your pocket, every day, from anywhere, completely free.
Problem Vs. Solution-focused thinking
Speaker 1Welcome to Next Level University, next Level Nation. Welcome back to another episode of Next Level University, where we help you level up your life, your love, your health and your wealth. Today, for episode number 1,840, a common mistake when it comes to problem solving I had a breakthrough one time and I felt like it was the most profound thing ever, and then I came on here and we did an episode on it. This was a while ago I don't know how long ago it was, but it was. Essentially, are you problem-focused or are you solution-focused, and I am somebody who, unfortunately, naturally, was problem-focused. When I had a problem, I would focus on the problem, not the solution Sounds productive.
Speaker 1It was not very productive at all and I've worked diligently on trying to shift that and pivot that. And I've worked diligently on trying to shift that and pivot that. But I would get caught in the mindset of well, I can't do that, I can't do that, I can't do that, well, I'm not going to be able to do this, I can't do this. Instead of what can I do and again, I know that sounds overly simplistic, bumper sticker, self-improvement, but I think that is one of the fundamentals of progress is when you okay, you're driving down the highway, you get a flat tire pull over to the side of the road, a conversation or a thought process in your head has to start.
Speaker 1I can't, maybe I can't drive to the nearest gas station. Maybe I don't know how to change a tire. What can I do? Well, I've been station. Maybe I don't know how to change a tire. What can I do? Well, I've been paying AAA so I could call AAA. I could call my mom, I could call my dad, I could call my partner, I could call my sister, I could call my brother. In that situation, you're not just going to sit there and say, well, I can't change my tire, let's wait here to die, but you're going to say, okay, well, what can I do? I think that's a silly but accurate example of something that would be more beneficial for all of us when it comes to problem solving. 101.
Speaker 2So, as the long-term listeners know, I love film, so I have a reference to a film that Kevin probably has not seen.
Speaker 1Here we go.
Speaker 2Tends to happen a lot. On the Next Level University podcast there's a film called the Edge. Have you seen it, Kevin?
Speaker 1I believe the Edge, is Tom Cruise in it? No?
Speaker 2No, you're thinking Edge of Tomorrow it is the Edge of something but no, it is.
Speaker 1I haven't seen either of them, but I know Tom Cruise is in one of them.
Speaker 2Thank you for that anecdote of usefulness.
Speaker 1Wait, is Sylvester Stallone in it? No, that's over the edge. There's a lot of edge movies.
Speaker 2All right, so I'm going to tell the story now, Please, please. So there's a movie called the Edge and Anthony Hopkins is in it, and I honestly don't know the other actors. Hold on, hold on. I do know one of them. Alec baldwin is in it. Alec baldwin and anthony hopkins okay, they're in alaska and they're flying one of those little planes that, kev, you'd never fly in ever never, one that a goose could take it out.
Speaker 2Basically okay. So spoiler alert. By the way, if you've never seen the film, it's a great. I enjoyed it. A lot of great nature, alaska's beautiful. Okay, they hit geese and the plane goes down into a lake. Anthony hopkins character is known as the super intelligent, older gentleman, billionaire, who loves books and is an intellectual, and he goes to the other characters when they're building a fire and one of the characters is freaking out. As understandable, they're in the middle of Alaska, probably going to die, freaking out. And Anthony Hopkins' character says why do people die in the woods? And Alec Baldwin's character says I don't know, charles, why, kind of rolling his eyes because he's always A little sassy of him.
Speaker 2Yeah he was? He was Charles. Why do people die in the woods? Just tell me already, right? He says they die of shame. He said they die of shame, charles. He said, yeah, what I could have done, what I should have done, how did I get myself in this position? I wish, I wish, I wish. Instead of doing the one thing that could have saved him and Alec's character goes okay, what's the one thing that could have saved him? He said goes okay, what's the one thing that could have saved him? He said they think, and he proceeds to take a paper clip, rub it on a belt buckle and then rub it on no, put it on a belt buckle, put it in the water and on a leaf and rub it on silk or something like that that magnetizes it as a compass, and then they know which way to go. And so, anyways, I think that's a really cool little anecdote that shares.
Speaker 2You have time, effort and money in this life, and where you put your time and effort is going to determine your success or failure in whatever endeavors are meaningful to you. If you're putting time and effort into complaining, you and I just talked, and I talked to you about how I want you time and effort into complaining. You and I just talked, and I talked to you about how I want you to share your frustrations more. I don't want you to share your frustrations because I like to complain and moan and groan. I want you to share your frustrations because I want to transform those frustrations into transformation. Those frustrations into transformation.
Speaker 2Frustration is an emotion that comes as a byproduct of not meeting a standard, and if there's something that's frustrating you, kev, there's a way to improve it. Spend a small percentage on the problem, a large percentage on the solution. Don't focus on what you can't do. Focus on what you can do. And every time I mean life is nothing more or less than a series of problems. Honestly, I mean problems are coming at us all the time. Oh, I got a sore throat Interesting. Okay, what can I do? All right, let's get the care package. Let's go to Walmart. Okay, let's get NyQuil and DayQuil. Let's figure out what works, what doesn't work.
Speaker 2One of our team members, ron, shout out to Ron. She suggested something called Benadine that I can gargle with. That helps sore throats. Boom, boom, boom resourcefulness. Life is going to throw a ton of problems your way. It's going to be problem after problem after problem. I know it's depressing, but it's the truth. How quickly you go from problem to solution, how quickly you go to what can I do? What can we do about this is a game changer and honestly, I do think people in this metaphor die of shame, where they get all poor me and and how did I get myself into this? And I should have done x, y or z, and I do think there's value in feeling that pain, but then how quickly can you take that pain and turn it into positive action? I mean, that's a game changer.
Speaker 1I think a big piece of it is self-belief, because you have to believe you're capable of doing it. You have to believe that you're capable of saying, okay, well, this is where I am. These are the things that I can do to get myself out of this, and the understanding that most likely maybe not most likely you can't rely on somebody else coming and doing it for you, and I know that's a heavy realization. I mean, you can ask for help. Of course, I'm a huge proponent of that. Please ask for help, but it's going to be a rare occurrence where somebody just comes and fixes all of your problems for you.
Speaker 2No, it's not.
Speaker 1Especially as you get older 35 years of age now I'm not 18 anymore it's different. There's nobody. The problems have to get solved and there's nobody else to solve them, and our household is Taryn and I, so we're going to solve those problems together or they're not going to get solved.
Speaker 1That's, that's the really the or you call a mechanic, or you call a plumber, or you call right most businesses are people helping people solve problems it would, then that's so if you make that decision, that's you, that's your way of solving the problem yeah, but that still requires you, requires you to, but it still requires you to pick up the phone, you to Google it, you to research. Yeah, it's hard. Being an adult is hard.
Speaker 2It's challenging work, I miss the old days, less responsibility was easier.
Speaker 1It was different Way, different. I remember I used to want to do the dishes. I was like Mom, mima, let me try, let me do the dishes. And they're like why do you want to do the dishes? And I was like, I don't know, I want to do them. Then later in life, when I was in my probably my early 30s, I remember I texted Mima and I said, hey, thank you for doing the dishes for like the entire length of my childhood, because now it's a giant and we didn't have a dishwasher. So she used to do the dishes by hand every single day. There was never a dirty dish in the sink ever. Ever Shout out to Mima for that. Alright, what percentage question for you? What percentage? So we have a hundred percent time, effort, energy, focus, whatever the resources that you have as well are put into the problem versus the solution. What's the percentage?
Speaker 2I would say the a percentage. I don't think any are put into the problem itself, I would say 1%. I'm definitely not perfect in this. I would say, eh, I'm going to be playful. If anyone has kids in the room earmuffs, I would say I bitch and moan for a good 3%.
Speaker 1And that's just like venting about it. Yeah.
Speaker 2Like this sucks, this sucks, and I just need to bitch about it for a second. Okay, and then I would say the next 20, let's say, would be identifying the root cause of the problem. Do I know why this happened? So? Okay, in the edge. Oh, we probably should not have forgotten our cell phones. We probably should have told someone where we were going. We probably should have not run into, we probably should have looked out for geese better, or whatever. So identify the cause. What caused this? This was reckless. I made a poor choice. I shouldn't have done this, okay. But if you stay there too long now, you're going to get demoralized and do nothing. So why did this happen? So the first 3% is bitch and moan. The next 20% is why did this happen?
Speaker 2Okay, I'm exhausted. I've been spread too thin. I'm not getting great sleep. I'm waking up in the middle of the night. I'm working 80 hour weeks. That's why I got a sore throat.
Speaker 2Okay, what am I going to do about it? Okay, not only am I going to get Benadine and I have right here, I have emergency vitamin C. I've been doing a lot of vitamin C and NyQuil DayQuil, whatever. Whatever you guys want to do of vitamin C and NyQuil, dayquil, whatever, whatever you guys want to do. But I'm also going to solve the issue on the system level too, and so the rest of it is solution oriented.
Speaker 2And then I would break it into micro, macro. So the micro solution is go get the care package, get the Vicks, vapor Rub, get the whatever. But the macro solution is recognize when I'm redlining sooner. Stop waking up at 3 am and working for an hour before you go back to bed. Sleep through the night as much as you possibly can. Also eat more micronutrients. I had been eating less micros. Emilia eats her salads every night. I I've been skipping salad, skipping scallop, I've been skipping my salad, and by the time you get the consequence, sometimes you are it's too late. The ball's already rolling down the hill. So, real quick three percent, bitch and mo. Three percent, twenty percent. Identify the root cause of what happened and why it happened.
Speaker 1Okay, we're at 23,. 77 remaining.
Speaker 2Okay, wait, what? Yeah? Nice, now divide that in half, which is what You're looking at 38 and a half, 38 and a half 38 and a half.
Speaker 2Yeah, 38 and a half. Yeah, I think that is the micro solution. What are you going to do right now that's going to make this better? Take immediate action. And then the other one is high level. What are you going to change in general? Update your operating system in general. Updating, update your belief systems in general. So one of ours on the system level is we're always going to have a care package ready we're always going to.
Speaker 1What does this care package consist of?
Speaker 2cough drops, emergency nyquil, dayquil, benedine, all the vicks, vapor rub, everything. We need a med kit, little med kit, for just in case we, and then also we're. It's the change of season too, so next, from summer to fall, we're going to be more careful with putting the heat on 70 at night to make sure that we're not freezing at night, because that was part of it too. 70? Yeah, is freezing, no, no, no, 70 is good. Oh, okay, 70 is good. We didn't even we weren't using the heat.
Speaker 2Sometimes I wonder about you and your the nights get cold quick no, I exist in new england.
Speaker 1I understand, I live in the same place you do, son I.
Speaker 2I'm even further north than you are I know I understand, just saying, but you also like it freezing cold?
Speaker 1I am upset if it's not.
Speaker 2Yeah, that's my point it helps me with sleep. You sleep like 65 degrees, no 69.
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Speaker 169 degrees oh, okay, 69 degrees. If it was up to me, it would be colder, but I have a wife who doesn't want to freeze. I'm with her on that. What advice would you give to someone who is feeling like they're stuck in a problem right now? Next level nation. What is happening? If you've thought to yourself I want to try coaching, but you don't really know where to start, group coaching would be a wonderful place for you. That's really why we created it in the first place. We start a new round every 90 days. So if you're hearing this, go to the website nextleveluniversecom and we have the landing page where you can actually hold your spot right now. Even if there's a group going on right now, you can still lock your spot for the next one. The biggest thing that we've seen is, as we get closer and closer to the date, unfortunately, some people end up missing. The group fills up and they can't do it, and then they end up regretting that.
Speaker 2So please head over to the website. The link will be in the show notes and we would love to see you there. The quicker you get into action, the better. What can you do? What can you do right now? The quicker you get into action, the better you're going to feel. The person grinding and growing toward their goals and dreams, toward solving their problems consistently, toward betterment, toward constructing a bigger, better, brighter future will always be the envy of the person sitting around feeling sorry for themselves. And I would ask you the same question, brother, because I think lately it's been a lot of me. I want to hear from you because let's we did an entire episode about me son.
Speaker 2Yeah, that's true, but still. Still, I do go from problem to action, I think fairly quickly.
Speaker 1I want to know.
Speaker 2I want to know what you struggle with in this.
Speaker 1I am not great at it. We did an episode similar to this. I think one way your emotions sabotage you this is kind of the antidote to that one way your emotions sabotage you is when you're not feeling good, you don't want to do good. So when you feel stuck, there's less resistance to staying stuck than there is to going and doing the thing that's going to get you unstuck, and for me it just has to be that conscious. Here's the thing You're not going to get unstuck right now. Here's the thing you're not going to get unstuck right now. It's not like you're going to go from feeling stuck to having the most momentum you ever had in the course of a couple days, but you can start doing the inputs that'll. That'll take you there and I think those inputs feel really good. You could feel, you can feel some momentum moving in the right direction.
Speaker 2Have you rewired toward meaningful progress, being what you tie your self-esteem to.
Speaker 1More than ever. It's still not my natural. I still have to remind myself of that. I still have to sit with that and say, kev, is this just a bad week and maybe you're not doing some stuff that you did last week that were inputs, so you just feel like you don't have momentum when in reality nothing has really changed in the grand scheme of things right now. But eventually you know what else helps me too is the sky's not falling. Yeah.
Speaker 2That helps me. Everything's going to be all right. You just got to get back into action. Everything's going to be all right. You got this. That's the record playing in the back of my head. I don't know what your record is, but mine is. You got this. You can do it. We can do this. We got this. It's not going to be easy, but we're going to find a way to win. That is my mindset.
Speaker 1That's not mine.
Speaker 2And that's okay. I'm grateful we're having this dialogue. What I think, and correct me if I'm wrong. Kev, genuinely I want to hold humility in this, watching the time we got three minutes. Yeah yeah, you. I think your tendency when things get heavy is to go R&R.
Speaker 1I want to.
Speaker 2Yeah, it's almost like the go-to for you is comfort. So when I'm uncertain, go seek comfort and then after I'm rested, then I go start.
Speaker 1It's because I'm already so outside of my comfort zone that it doesn't seem productive. Productive isn't the right word, it's just way, way, way harder to do the things.
Speaker 2Is it because of your state? Sometimes, when you feel like crap, it's hard to do well too. So it might be your physical state as well.
Speaker 1I think it's physical and mental state. Yeah, it's constricting. I don't think you get constricted. I think it opens you up. When stuff's hitting the fan, I think you like it. We joke about it, but I just think you get ignited. I don't I get bogged down. I operate really well in a nice abundant, the right area of abundance. You operate really well in the right area of scarcity and I just think the area of scarcity that you operate from is just a very, very.
Speaker 1You're good when everything is going horribly wrong. You're better when things are going horribly wrong than when they are going really well. I would say I'm better when things are going really well because then I can operate more naturally. Again, this is kind of woo-woo, but, like when we did the episode on energy, I am a lower energy, so that means I'm already a lower energy than you are. So when things are going wrong it's even more brutal For you. You're a high energy, so I think when things are going well, it's almost like it's too easy for you, just because you already have so much. You're already so energetic. It's like I need to make this game a little bit harder. Yeah, just because you already have so much.
Speaker 2You're already so energetic. It's like I need to make this game a little bit harder. Yeah, it's the challenge skills sweet spot. We used to talk about the target of comfort zone and then learning zone and then anxiety zone. I think my learning zone is very different than yours. Of course Makes sense. Yeah, I learning zone is very different than yours.
Speaker 1Of course makes sense. Yeah, I think they're all different, All of them.
Speaker 2Everyone, everyone. And it depends on the circumstance. I mean, we had a plumbing challenge. I was out of my comfort zone immediately. I don't have any idea what to do, but I can call someone to help.
Speaker 1Well, we were joking about sleep. Alan was like yeah, man, I got a 65. I'm dragging ass. And I was like I have no empathy. I do, I do.
Speaker 2But for me that's whatever man, it is all relative. Man, I got a.
Speaker 1I'll roll with a 40. The next level live 2024. No 2020. Yeah, no 2023. I think I got a 25 sleep score, a 25 sleep score, and then proceeded to have one of the longest, most stressful days ever. I was like, yeah, that is what it is. What are we gonna do?
Speaker 2I don't. I don't operate well on that and again, it's all relative, you don't? I know we gotta jump my timer just went off, but we did an episode where we talked about your energy levels and one of my clients resonated with your energy level, but he wants to be a peak performer and he wants results that are a byproduct of high energy levels. How are you? How do you do?
Speaker 1I remember when you did get a coach.
Speaker 2I'm telling you he does do unbelievable with he's a fire.
Speaker 1I think when people say that person's a natural leader, they're high energy. I'm guessing I'm not. I'm not a natural leader. You should lead the team, I shouldn't. I was talking to Matt the other day. I was like Matt, you're a natural leader, you're you're a natural leader, you're a better leader. I won't say you're a better leader than me to Matt. You're more naturally predisposed to being a leader than I am. I'm a good number two. I'm good to have on the team because people will like me and I'll make them laugh. When things are super serious, I'll crack a joke at the right time and we'll break it up a little bit, but I'm not the person that's going to rally the troops. That's just not who I am.
Speaker 2I need someone to do that. It takes so much effort and energy to do that. It takes so much and when you don't have it, it feels like the worst thing in the world. When I talked about the elbows on my knees- looking at the floor moment you say I love it.
Speaker 2It's no, I. I find a way out of the depths and then I love it. I love being in momentum, I love being in action, I love meaningful progress and I do love growth. So for me, but that's, that's one interesting thing too we'll end with this, or I will. Anyways, anyone out there watching or listening, you will have a comfort zone, a zone and an anxiety zone in every single area. Maybe a 20-person team for you would be no way. No, how? No, maybe that would be easy. There's someone out there who their walking pace is you're all out sprint. And there's something you do where your walking pace is they're all out sprint. You used to do 20, you did 20 podcasts other podcasts in a week, not including ours.
Speaker 1So that's 28. What's your record? Scheduled for 14. I was scheduled for 14 this week.
Speaker 2Nice, what's your record for podcasts in a given week, 20.
Speaker 1I think the most I ever did was either 28 or 29, I think.
Speaker 2I remember when Amy on the team started doing podcasts, she said wow, I'm garbage. And I said you're not garbage, I understand and I'm not going to take that from you. If you think you're garbage, you're not garbage, I understand and I'm not going to take that from you. If you think you're garbage, you're garbage. That's fine, I understand. Like I think I'm garbage, but just understand. You're comparing to Kevin and I. We've been doing podcasts for ever, for so long. I mean, of course you're going to think you're garbage. We make it look easy, dude, can you imagine doing 28 podcast episodes in a in the first week? You ever podcast?
Speaker 2absolutely not, no, no, what would, what would happen?
Speaker 1I would. I wouldn't make it through them all, no way I'd quit somewhere you'd be crying on the floor yeah, I probably in a fetal position.
Speaker 2That's what I think people under they they overestimate or underestimate go ahead.
Speaker 1I was gonna say or I would just love it so much that I would do them, but it doesn't mean I'd be good at them. I might just do them and be like this is amazing, but I wouldn't be good, I'd be terrible.
Speaker 2All of those shows would regret me for sure. So what's each of our takeaway?
Speaker 1Boy, I think you've got to find. If you're not naturally the person who's like, all right, let's get up and do it. You've got to find someone. Have someone in your corner. That is because that's going to be extremely helpful. Somebody has to set the pace, and the last thing you want is the pace to be set by the scarcity of you not doing this stuff. It's like, well, I really have to do this or I'm going to lose blank, blank, blank, blank. Get somebody in your corner that says Blank, blank, blank blank. That's my takeaway.
Speaker 2Nice Good luck. Mine would be Try to get out of that first 3%. I was playful with the. I need to bitch and moan every now and then I'm telling you it's never more than 3%, it's not.
Speaker 1Every now and then it is 3% and I apologize to Amelia.
Speaker 2When she's yeah, but I think you gotta express, you gotta get to get it out. Frustration's a thing. I've punched the ceiling of my car before. I haven't done that in many years, but you got to get it out. However, don't stay there long. Get back into constructive action, because nothing else is going to make it better.
Speaker 1Yeah next level nation. I have finally gotten my Dreamliner. And I say finally because for some reason, when Alan buys them it takes longer. When I was on Amazon it said it would be shipped to me in two days, but Alan has the. It's a whole thing.
Speaker 2But it's called author copies. You got an author copy.
Speaker 1Yes, yes. Well, it's the best and I'm super excited and I already started filling stuff out. I'm going to start on October 1st, so I have the 90 days. Bada bing, bada boom, I'll be off to the races. I like to start fresh. If you are looking to make Q4 the most consistent, aligned 90 days of your entire life, please purchase the Next Level Dreamliner.
Speaker 1The team is using it. We've gotten a lot of good feedback, gwen, in the community, there's a bunch of people that have said a lot of really, really good things about it, so we'll have the link in the show notes. There's Alan's, it's on Amazon and it will help you literally every day. Top three gratitudes top three most important tasks, most important win, most important improvement next level lesson Did you check off your habits? A little question to help keep you guided. It's a good amount, but not something that's going to be impossible for you to do every day. It's not an entire novel. Every day, 10, 15 minutes, part of the morning routine. Boom off to the races. We'll have the link in the show notes.
Speaker 2I tracked it earlier today for the first time. Actually, I had 10 minutes before I needed to get in the shower in order to not be late to my first meeting and 10 minutes before I needed to get in the shower in order to not be late to my first meeting.
Speaker 1And.
Speaker 2I got it done in seven minutes, nice, so seven minutes a day and I I filled the whole thing out too and I answered the question. So seven minutes and I'm a slow writer, okay, uh, also, if you want to crush Q4 with us, join us on this journey. Next level group coaching 90 days, mario cart booster to toward your goals and dreams, 10 like-minded individuals this is our 16th group. This will be our fourth year in a row doing group coaching. It is the most valuable thing for the lowest price point that we offer. Please, please, please, check it out. The link will be in the show notes. Use the promo code nER, spelled just like it sounds NLULISTENER for 30% off comes to $96 per month, which, with 12 sessions, comes to less than $25 per session. You will never get more valuable, more affordable coaching than that.
Speaker 1I'm in. I would sign up if I wasn't part of it.
Speaker 2Well, you are. If I wasn't, it's already on your calendar, sir.
Speaker 1Okay, well, I'll be there. Then I'll be there. Awesome, I'm invited. As always, we love you, we appreciate you, grateful for each and every one of you, and at NLU we don't have fans, we have family. We will talk to you all tomorrow. Keep after it. Thanks for joining us for another episode of Next Level University. We love connecting with the Next Level family.
Speaker 2We mean it when we say family. If you ever need anything, please reach out to us directly. Everything you need to get a hold of us is in the show notes.
Speaker 1Thank you again and we will talk to you tomorrow.