Next Level University

#1842 - How Do You Know When It’s Time To Pivot?

• Kevin Palmieri and Alan Lazaros

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Do you ever feel like your goals aren’t serving you anymore? In this episode, hosts Kevin Palmieri and Alan Lazaros dive into the challenge of knowing when it’s time to pivot. Kevin shares his experience setting a dieting goal that did more harm than good and explains why he decided to pivot. They discuss assessing whether a goal is worth pursuing, the difference between constructive and destructive challenges, and the importance of adaptability without feeling guilt or shame. Discover how focusing on fewer but more meaningful goals can lead to better results, especially when life gets busy.

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Show notes:
(3:46) Kevin’s decision to pivot his dieting goal
(5:49) Balancing multiple life goals in Q4
(8:05) The concept of “Nucleus” for prioritizing what matters
(10:20) When to push through Vs. When to pivot
(12:34) Meet like-minded people and jumpstart yo

Send a text to Kevin and Alan!

🎙️ Hosted by Kevin Palmieri and Alan Lazaros

Next Level University is a top-ranked daily podcast for dream chasers and self-improvement lovers. With over 2,100 episodes, we help you level up in life, love, health, and wealth one day at a time. Subscribe for real, honest, no-fluff growth every single day.

Speaker 1

What I try to say all the time and I probably sound like you when I say it is you cannot aspire to the anomaly Meaning you can't expect your life necessarily to be the anomaly. I'm not saying you shouldn't, I just don't think it's beneficial. I think it's setting you up for potential failure Just because there's only so many people that can have that existence.

Speaker 2

So what does this have to do with pivoting? You are pivoting because you realize that dieting is not one of your big ones for Q4. Q4 is going to be wild. We have 94 days left. Everyone, let's rock and roll.

Speaker 1

Welcome to Next Level University. I'm your host, kevin Palmieri, and I'm your co-host, alan Lazarus. At NLU, we believe in a heart-driven but no BS approach to holistic self-improvement for dream chasers.

Speaker 2

Our goal with every episode is to help you level up your life love health and wealth.

Speaker 1

We bring you a new episode every single day, on topics like confidence, self-belief, self-worth, self-awareness, relationships, boundaries, consistency, habits and defining your own unique version of success.

Speaker 2

Self-improvement in your pocket, every day, from anywhere, completely free.

Speaker 1

Welcome to Next Level University Anywhere, completely free. Welcome to Next Level University, next Level Nation. Welcome back to another episode of Next Level University, where we help you level up your life, your love, your health and your wealth. Today, for episode number 1,842, how do you know when it's time to pivot? For a young man who has never quit, tattooed on his arm, as you can see here, if you're looking on YouTube, I quit a lot of things and that is today's episode. Have a good one. Alan texted me and said hey, what do you want to talk about, man? And I said I want to talk about how pivoting, how do you know when to pivot, how do you go about pivoting? And then, how do you not feel like garbage about yourself when you do pivot?

Speaker 1

And Alan said Alan was like meh, that's what he hit me with. Meh, I see, I see.

Speaker 2

Meh.

Speaker 1

Could be, maybe not. And he said why do you want to do this episode? And I said, because you've heard me talk about this often on this podcast and especially recently, I was dieting down to 165 pounds. We did our 10-pound and 10-week challenge. I went from 180 to 170. I took a week of maintenance where I just ate at maintenance, and I was around 172 or 173, something like that after that. And again that wasn't real weight, was just scale weight, the whole thing. And then I said, all right, I really want to push this and I want to go down to 165 pounds because I know at some point I'm gonna have to do a very sucky diet to get as lean as I possibly can and that way that will be my new baseline. And I was going and it sucked and it was brutal dining sucks it's not ideal and not a fan.

Speaker 1

In new england it's getting colder, halloween's coming. We got halloween candy in the house. I love me a good kit kat bar occasionally. Who doesn't reese's pieces occasionally? Who doesn't? I'm going to judge you if you do. It's okay, it's great, kit Kat baby. Reese's right out of the freezer no, we don't even put them in the freezer the Reese's pumpkins yeah, right, they add up. Though they add up.

Speaker 2

I am no longer 120 per a little, tiny, too much. I'm no longer 120 per A little tiny yeah too much.

Speaker 1

I'm no longer dieting with that goal in mind.

Speaker 2

Clearly so I Strong work, strong work. I'm not dieting either, so we're good.

Speaker 1

I pivoted, I pivoted and here's the reason why I believe even if I continued on the thing that I was doing, even if I continued on that goal, I continued on that course, me getting the result would have been more detrimental than it would have been positive. Would it have been detrimental for my relationship? No, I think I was juggling that really really well. I think it would have been detrimental for my mental health mostly, and one of the reasons is business is wild right now. There's so much going on there's just a ton going on, and it's really hard to juggle the stress of that and being hungry and doing cardio, all of that stuff at the same time I just didn't think was good for me, and I've been in a drastically better mood since I started eating enough food. All of that stuff at the same time I just didn't think was good for me, and I've been in a drastically better mood since I started eating enough food. Now, again, I'm not eating a thousand calories more than I need every day.

Speaker 1

I am pivoting the goal. So it doesn't mean I'm not tracking calories. It doesn't mean I'm not weighing myself. It doesn't mean I'm not exercising. It doesn't mean I'm not getting eight hours of sleep. That's all still happening, but the goal is different. I want to gain a half a pound a week. Quarter to a half a pound a week. That's the goal. I'm on the course. The destination is just a little bit different. That's kind of what I wanted to talk about today, because I I know how challenging it can be to say something, especially in front of other people, the accountability that comes with that, the accountability that comes with that, the necessity that comes with that when you say something publicly and then you realize, hmm, I don't know if this is actually what's best for me and I want to pivot. But I have a lot of shame around it. How do I pivot? How do I not feel bad about it? So that's why I want to do this episode.

Balancing multiple life goals in Q4

Speaker 2

Plus, you're in the heat of a moment, you're feeling good, you're, I'm gonna do x. And then things change, circumstances change, context change, and then you feel?

Speaker 2

trapped by what you said. Yeah, a past version of kev said that I had a little mini breakthrough. I don't know if I'd call it a breakthrough, but I'm gonna, because I don't have any other word for it. You can either be one out of ten outside your comfort zone in 10 things at the same time, or you can be 10 times outside your comfort zone in one thing. That's, I think, a cool understanding.

The concept of “Nucleus” for prioritizing what matters

Speaker 2

Emilia and I, we broke down q4 yesterday and I said I'm I don't want to try to win at 50 things, I can't. I can't try to win at 50 things, I just can't. I I want to win at a couple things where we're really going to put intentional. The plants that you water are going to grow and the plants you don't water are going to die, and I need to be okay with that. Maybe not die, but they'll wither away slowly and haunt you in your dreams slowly, and haunt you in your dreams at least me. So I said what are the five things? I tried to keep it at five or less. What are the things that we want to win at in q4? Number one was revenue businesses. Number two was sleep. Number three was fitness not dieting. Fitness, which includes dieting some of the time and when I say not dieting, by the way, it's always intuitive so just not dieting, dieting at level 10 fitness. So so revenue, sleep, fitness flow. I just finished the art of impossibility. It's a book by. So revenue, sleep, fitness flow. I just finished the Art of Impossible yesterday. It's a book by Stephen Kotler. We interviewed him way back and he talks about how the happiest people in the world, the most productive people in the world, the most creative people in the world, design their life around flow. Flow is that state when you're feeling good. A lot of people, when they listen to their favorite song, they get into flow, that feeling. Imagine having that feeling consistently. So revenue, sleep, fitness, flow. And the last one is whoa hold on Nucleus. We call it nucleus.

Speaker 2

For us, nucleus means we have a each week. We have three things that we are going to really put intentional effort into enjoying, and emilia and I both work monday through saturday. Pretty much don't do what we do unless you want what we want. I'm just going to say that. So we work every single day, but, but only front-facing. Monday through Saturday. The nucleus is each week. We have one thing I look forward to. We have one thing she looks forward to and then we have one thing that we do together that's actually enjoyable. And so this week, for example, for me it's dinner and a movie, for her it's candlelight dinner and reading, and then the we we're going to go on an adventure on Sunday. So that's the nucleus, meaning we're going to actually prioritize making sure that we have something to look forward to.

Speaker 2

There's something called an anticipatory circuit in your brain where, when you have something to look forward to, today sucks a little less. Everyone knows that I'm super pumped to go to the movies. She wants to see the Joker, the second one that's coming out I know that's in october. At some point I'm already pumped. So my day today sucks a little less because I know we're going to be able to do that. So you get to leverage what's called the anticipatory circuit. But ultimately that's what the nucleus is. So revenue, sleep, fitness, flow and nucleus, that's it. We're gonna lose at everything else and I'm okay with that. So what does this have to do with pivoting? You are pivoting because you realize that dieting is not one of your big ones for q4. Q4 is gonna be wild. We have 94 days left.

Speaker 1

Everyone, let's rock and roll and I'm sorry if I dropped an f-bomb technically front of your children. Technically is today Q. What's today, Tomorrow? This is.

Speaker 2

Tuesday.

Speaker 1

October 1st would be technically Q4. Yeah, isn't that tomorrow? How many days are in September, son 30? 31. There's 31 days in September.

Speaker 2

Yeah, I used to not know any of that. Now I've been checking and counting down days. There is days I've come way up on my weeks, months, years and all that.

Speaker 1

Yeah, yeah. Usually Alan has to count on his fingers. The months September, September, November I think that's fairly normal, though All I was saying was how many days are in September?

When to push through Vs. When to pivot

Speaker 2

So in Q4 you just decided I'm not gonna focus on dieting, because I'm gonna focus on other stuff.

Speaker 1

No, I didn't even think about it from that perspective. It wasn't even a Q4 thing, it was just a yeah, this I don't. It's not serving me. When I set the goal, things were different and it's no longer serving me. Nice, and rather than just letting myself down over and over and over again, let me try to, let me see what pivoting would look like. And then here's the thing I have zero guilt around it because of this. I set the goal for me. I set the goal based on the fact that that goal is something that number one I wanted to achieve, number two I thought would be really good for me to achieve. And three things were different when I said it.

Speaker 2

How do you know when to push through versus when to pivot? And I wanted to say give up, but I didn't. So how do you know when to push through versus when to give up?

Speaker 1

I think you believe it will be worth it. You know it will be worth it. You know it will be worth it. There's a difference between saying this is hard and uncomfortable and this is this is not good for me and unsustainable.

Speaker 2

Those are two very, very different things yeah, to me it comes down to is it constructive or destructive? 100, yeah, 100 and the problem is everything is both everything is both.

Speaker 1

There's a portion that it's more destructive than destructive it's more. Yeah, I think that's the ultimate thing is okay, cool, imagine yourself. No, you can't, because if you imagine yourself three months down the line with the goal achieved, you don't have to do any of the stuff that you're currently doing. And I don't think that would work because, like, well, yeah, of course I would do it.

Speaker 2

Imagine winning the lottery with no effort.

Speaker 1

You, you just know, I think you just know, and I think you also have to figure out what is your normal pattern? Is your pattern usually tapping out long before you should? Okay, maybe you should hang in a little bit longer. Is your pattern just pushing through? No matter what, it doesn't matter? Okay, maybe it would be beneficial to explore pivoting a little bit earlier. But I have a lot of experience with pushing through when it comes to fitness and dieting and I've gotten some really bad results from that in the past. So I think my intuition and my awareness now is just more tuned to make a better decision.

Speaker 1

Next level nation. What is happening? If you've thought to yourself I want to try coaching, but you don't really know where to start, group coaching would be a wonderful place for you. That's really why we created it in the first place. We start a new round every 90 days. So if you're hearing this, go to the website nextleveluniversecom, and we have the landing page where you can actually hold your spot right now. Even if there's a group going on right now, you can still lock your spot for the next one. The biggest thing that we've seen is, as we get closer and closer to the date. Unfortunately, some people end up missing. The group fills up and they can't do it, and then they end up regretting that. So please head over to the website. The link will be in the show notes, and we would love to see you there.

Speaker 2

I think every goal that you set comes with pros and cons and every intention you set. And the higher the intention, the higher the goal, the bigger the pros and the bigger the cons. That is something that I don't think we were never really taught. I wish I could teach kids. When you set a goal, there's going to be parts of that that are awesome and then parts of that that suck. The extent of the suck is predicated on the size of the goal 100. If you want to have a magnificent career, you're not going to be able to be as available for your friends, no matter what, no matter what.

Speaker 2

I think about this with pro athletes. All the time they're in professional sports, but they never. They play every Thanksgiving the football players, right, whatever sport. When we're relaxing on Sunday, what are they doing? Playing, getting injured, getting hit, getting hurt, playing. No one thinks about that. They just think, oh, that must be awesome. They never get any Sundays ever. Take away your Sundays forever, but no one thinks about that because it just looks so cool to be a professional athlete.

Speaker 1

Or because they value the other thing more. It's like, yeah, okay, I get to play my favorite game in the world on Sunday and I have a net worth of $50 million.

Speaker 2

Yeah, it's worth it, but that's the thing I don't think a lot of people think of the cons. Genuinely, you have to think of both sides of the equation.

Speaker 1

I'm convinced now that we think so. Here's the thing. I just think it's a numbers game. There are some people out there that get relatively lucky and they have a lot less cons not in football, sports.

Speaker 2

In sports, I feel like there's cons playing the same example of someone who gets relatively lucky and has less cons yes, uh, have you ever heard of three days grace?

Speaker 1

their first album? They were an overnight success. Their first album was a hit and then they just never stopped making hits. I like them, huge fan.

Speaker 2

Yeah, jam, jams. I have a new playlist on Spotify called 2024 Bangers.

Speaker 1

Uh-huh.

Speaker 2

And not from 2024, but Alan in 2024 decided these were bangers yeah, what do you?

Speaker 1

got one sec. You don't have any off the top of your head.

Speaker 2

No, no, he doesn't you know, I don't know music man, you know that what do you mean? You don't know music I don't know music, you know three days grace huh, sound boy killer by pod. I told you about that one. Yeah, okay, what else it's a jam Shout out to Amy because that was on her playlist. This is a weird one. There's a band called Beartooth In Between for some reason it's a jam.

Speaker 1

Yeah, yeah, it's a jam, I'm pretty sure you must have gotten that from me.

Speaker 2

I don't know. I Sometimes I ask S-I-R-I to just hammer a random playlist. I'll be like hey 2000, whatever, and I hear a song and I'm like oh, that one's a good one. I'm not even into screamo. That's a little bit screamo action. But the chorus.

Speaker 1

That to me, that's what a good a Trey. U has some scream songs, but the lead singer or maybe it's the other vocalist, the backup vocalist has such a good voice, where it's like I can sit through the screamo to get to his voice.

Speaker 2

That's what that is. I got some songs for you. 2024 bangers. Send them over, because I'm trying to get after it in fitness I will fitness, not in dieting. Well, unfortunately, that's part of it.

Speaker 1

Right, it's like nah man you can be really good at flying a plane, but if you can't land that thing, it doesn't matter much.

Speaker 2

That's part of flying a plane. But if you can't land that thing, it doesn't matter much. That's part of flying a plane. That's what I'm doing, son.

Speaker 1

What were we talking about before that we got on the music thing? We were talking about pivoting, we were talking about stuff.

Speaker 2

Oh, you said some people. Yes, you were talking about Three Days Grace.

Speaker 1

Three Days Grace. They didn't tour for 15 years before anybody knew about them. Them their first, their first album was like a very big hit and they just kind of just kept making hits forever. That is the anomaly. They're the anomaly that that happened, not the expectation. They're the anomaly like that's very, very, very rare. Is there something we can learn from that?

Speaker 1

Yes, I'm convinced that we're losing a little bit of sight of just the odds, the odds of if you start something. So there are some people out there that are at the stage in life where they just kind of do what they want and they're wealthy and their life doesn't look that hard, but they've worked for decades and decades. Or we don't know how wealthy they actually are, or we don't know where their money came from. That's just very, very statistically rare. So you cannot what I try to say all the time and I probably sound like you when I say it is you cannot aspire to the anomaly, meaning you can't expect your life necessarily to be the anomaly. I'm not saying you shouldn't, I just don't think it's beneficial, I think it's setting you up Just because there's only so many people that can have that existence.

Speaker 2

I would just say you can't aspire to be the anomaly unless you feel like you are statistically an anomaly, because I think that that can be limiting for some people.

Speaker 1

Yeah, I just don't want to see anybody.

Speaker 2

Constantly let down, forever, yeah.

Speaker 1

Yeah, it's the social media thing. I think we're living in an algorithm where only the stuff that is the shiniest, sexiest, most polished, most polished, most successful gets shown. Some of these people you see on social media, it's like are you a real person? Are you kidding me? I know, I know I've never seen a human like you in my entire life and now that's all I see on social media. Where the hell did y'all come from? They've always been there. It's just that's what the algorithm promotes. It doesn't want to see me crying into my pillow at night.

Speaker 1

That isn't prime time social media content. So I don't know how we get off on that. But here this would be the quick takeaway. How off on that? But here this would be the quick takeaway. How do you know when it's time to pivot, when, even if you did accomplish the goal, what you had to go through to accomplish the goal wouldn't be worth it that's one thought when it's more destructive than constructive. When, when you start to feel, yeah, I think that's it. When it's more destructive than constructive, but when you start to feel like the pursuit of the goal is doing more damage than good?

Speaker 2

Yeah, agreed, real damage.

Speaker 1

Like. This is not good for my mental health. Goals are supposed to build you.

The challenge of focusing on too many things at once

Speaker 2

They're supposed to build you Through hardship, through challenge, of course, through adversity. Pivot here, pun intended, is don't try to, don't try to crush it at 50 things simultaneously. I've been saying that a lot lately the old me, I think, was a little less, because I I'm all for holistic. But q4, those five things to really do a really good job at all, five of those, all quarter, that's really challenging. So that is holistic, you have health in there.

Speaker 2

You have wealth, yeah, and you have love yeah, it is holistic, agreed, but trying to get good at 50 things simultaneously was my a mistake that I made in the past. I I really did want to do everything really with excellence, and I I think that as I've matured, I I really feel like that's a losing game long term anyways I would concur.

Speaker 1

I think you can do a lot of things excellently. You can't do everything excellently and honestly, I don't know if you can do a lot of things. I think you can do a few things really, really, really, really well. Yep, and maybe it's five, even though a few, I think, is three we talked about.

Speaker 2

The very few athletes have ever been a professional athlete at multiple things. It's kind of like that if you want it, the higher you climb in one thing, the the more you're going to have to minimize or or cater your standards and other things to accommodate that I. I really have come to the humble pie of that realization 100.

Speaker 1

all right, if you want to simplify q4 to be the most successful quarter of your life, join next level. Group coaching round 16 starts on october 8th ataching round 16. It starts on October 8th at 5 pm, eastern Standard Time October 8th. I got it right this time. I thought I mixed it up. We are going to help you be more consistent 1,000%. We will help you with clarity, for sure. And one of the big things and the pieces of feedback we've been getting a lot lately is when you're surrounded by other people, you understand that you're not alone in this. Growth is lonely. If you're doing something that other people around you aren't doing, by definition it's going to make you feel lonely. But that's exactly why we have group coaching so you can grow with other people and Alan, myself and Amy included. So we'll have the link in the show notes. It is with the discount code NLULISTENER. It ends up being $24 per call. It is a bargain and you're going to get your values worth guaranteed.

Speaker 2

We're going to get you habit tracking. We're going to get you on point. There's 94 days left in the year. Let's close the year strong 2024,. Stay ignited. It's rock and roll.

Speaker 1

It's wild, it's almost over. I know it's rock and roll, finish strong Rock and roll, yeah, and Three Days Grace will be making a special appearance, so won't. Who was it? Pod and Beartooth, bearclaw Bear, soundboy Killa, soundboy Killa. That's going to be the. There will be no musical performances, but well, there will, because I sing. Pretty much every time Do I sing?

Speaker 2

well.

Outro

Speaker 1

No, much every time. Do I sing? Well, no, but I sing, and that's something all right. As always, we love you, we appreciate you, grateful for each and every one of you, and at nlu we don't have fans, we have family. We will talk to you all tomorrow keep after it thanks for joining us for another episode of next level university. We love connecting with the next family.

Speaker 2

We mean it when we say family. If you ever need anything, please reach out to us directly. Everything you need to get a hold of us is in the show notes.

Speaker 1

Thank you again and we will talk to you tomorrow.

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Alan Lazaros

Host
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Kevin Palmieri

Host