Next Level University

What Fulfills You Doesn’t Always Recharge You (1878)

• Kevin Palmieri and Alan Lazaros

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Kevin Palmieri and Alan Lazaros discuss why the answer isn’t always “yes” and share insights on separating activities that recharge from those that fulfill. Curious about finding what they call “superchargers”—the things that do both? Tune in for stories, humor, and practical tips that will make you rethink how you spend your downtime.

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Show notes:
(2:05) Kevin’s story of “reckless relaxation”
(7:02) Alan’s take on finding “superchargers”
(8:33) Recharge and fulfillment with meaningful activities
(10:52) The feeling of wholeness after recharge
(13:38) Next Level Dreamliner: the planner, agenda, journal, and habit tracker to rule them all. Get a copy: https://a.co/d/9fPpxEt
(16:54) Taking time off to recharge effectively
(20:17) Balancing responsibilities with personal needs
(25:32) Outro

Send a text to Kevin and Alan!

🎙️ Hosted by Kevin Palmieri and Alan Lazaros

Next Level University is a top-ranked daily podcast for dream chasers and self-improvement lovers. With over 2,100 episodes, we help you level up in life, love, health, and wealth one day at a time. Subscribe for real, honest, no-fluff growth every single day.

Kevin

that's the thing I'm. I'm not that self-improvement guy who's like, yeah, don't ever I I like to drink every once in a while I do. I. I'm so excited for the bachelor party. I can't tell you what it is yet, but it's going to be awesome. I'm super excited. I don't know where, where did that? Oh yeah, it wasn't. It was super fulfilling. Not at all. Rest and relaxation or recharging Not good. What is?

Alan

good for recharge is not necessarily fulfilling, and what is fulfilling is not necessarily recharge, however it's a percentage.

Kevin

Welcome to Next Level University. I'm your host, kevin Palmieri, and.

Alan

I'm your co-host, Alan Lazarus.

Kevin

At NLU, we believe in a heart-driven but no BS approach to holistic self-improvement for dream chasers.

Alan

Our goal with every episode is to help you level up your life, love, health and wealth.

Kevin

We bring you a new episode every single day on topics like confidence, self-belief, self-worth, self-awareness, relationships, boundaries, consistency, habits and defining your own unique version of success Self-improvement in your pocket, every day, from anywhere, completely free.

Kevin’s story of “reckless relaxation”

Kevin

Welcome to Next Level University, next Level Nation. Welcome back to another episode of Next Level University, where we help you level up your life, your love, your health and your wealth. Today for episode number 1,878, what Fulfills you Doesn't Always Recharge you. This was an episode that Alan suggested based on a conversation with a wonderful client. I don't know if this is where you're planning on going, but I did a video one time. I was sitting on my couch I had stayed up until 2 o'clock in the morning Too late Watching UFC. Love UFC, big fan of it Fulfills me, and I did a video where I said there's a big difference between rest and relaxation and reckless relaxation.

Kevin

And let me tell you, last night was reckless relaxation, and I'm not relaxed at all and I'm not recharged. I had a great night watching UFC, but I am tired as hell and that is my story, you remember the time when you went to a party engagement party, party and you got twisted tea wasted.

Kevin

Yes, that was absolutely terrible. So, okay, there was also. There's layers, right, there's layers. All right, matt and his wonderful fiance, now carly, invite Taryn and I down to a party. Sure, we love parties. Not really, I don't like parties at all. Actually, I'm totally lying, I just totally lie. I hate parties and we're planning and I always have my exit strategy before I show up to anything. That's the way I am, that's how I keep my boundaries always, and I was like, babe, we'll go. I'm like babe, we'll go, I'm driving, so I'll have a beer. Maybe we'll stay for three, four hours. We're going to be fine, we'll eat and then we'll leave. The night before we left or the night before we were going down there, that's when Matt proposed, so immediately went from. This isn't a part, this isn't a regular part, it's an engagement part. This is different.

Alan

So when we went down there, I was like can't, I'm most likely going to be the best man, I can't leave. So I said, babe, I'm gonna start drinking best man. What about?

Kevin

just about man I, I think maybe, maybe, I don't think, I don't know. We'll find out. So I said, babe, you take the car home. And she's how are you gonna get home? I said I don't even really worry about it.

Alan

Like I'm going to find a way to get home.

Kevin

It doesn't even matter, I'm going to find a way to get home. So I stayed and we stayed up way too late and I ate so much food and I drank so many Twisted Teas, which I love. Twisted Teas are so good, but my goodness, that swill, it's not good for you, not good for the brain. Slept over, woke up the next day, tried to find an Uber. My phone was on 2% and I was sitting on the back porch at like 6 o'clock in the morning trying to find an Uber. And I won't give away where they live, but they live somewhere that there's not really Ubers. At 6 o'clock in the morning on a Saturday. It just doesn't. It doesn't make any sense. So I had to wait like 25 minutes and I paid a hundred. How bad did you feel? Zero to ten, I'm gonna tell I'm gonna get to that. I paid a hundred bucks to uber and I was in the back seat and this dude was just hammering and it was just.

Kevin

It was so uncomfortable was he bad on the brakes bad.

Alan

No, just remember that uber. We had that one time.

Kevin

Oh, it wasn't like that it was. I had such a bad headache and I felt so sick and my body was sore. Then I get home and I didn't have my keys so I couldn't get in the house. So I called taryn like five times and she was sleeping understandable and it was like an hour, just like sitting outside for like no, yeah, it was not.

Kevin

Yeah, it was brutal. And then then it's like I dragged my ass in and I was like, oh babe, I don't feel good, I need to lay on the couch. And then I think I got breakfast and that was it. That was the day. I just laid on the couch and worked through my breakfast all day. It was absolutely terrible. I still do like to party a little bit, though. That's the thing. I'm not that self-improvement guy who's like, yeah, don't ever. I like to drink. Every once in a while I do. I'm so excited for the bachelor party. I can't tell you what it is yet, but it's going to be awesome. I'm super excited. I don't know when did that. Oh yeah, it was super fulfilling. Not at all rest and relaxation or recharging.

Alan

Yeah, you said that there's rest and relaxation, and then there's reckless relaxation.

Kevin

So that was reckless relaxation, very reckless.

Alan

So I was on with my client Matt earlier Matt, what's up, man?

Kevin

And he had a distinction. It's a different Matt and he had a distinction. Just so everybody knows.

Alan

Yeah exactly different mat and his homework from two weeks ago. One of one of the things I always give homework aka do this stuff we'll talk soon and one of them was I need to know what fulfills you, brother. We're gonna figure out where your superchargers are, because there's trickle chargers and superchargers for the tesla. So it's a good metaphor. You're trying to get somewhere, everyone's trying to get to their goals and dreams and you need to know where your superchargers are, otherwise you're you're jeffed, yeah, and so he got on the session earlier today and he's like dude, there's a big difference between what is a good recharge and what's fulfilling. I've been playing with my kids. It's been awesome, super fulfilling, but it's not a recharge. It's a great example, it's a great distinction. Never thought about that before in my entire life, never once. I call it R4, rest, relaxation, rejuvenation and recharge. And then there's fulfillment.

Alan

I am extremely fulfilled regarding my business coaching program. I have never been more fulfilled with my business coaching practice. It is awesome. I have 27 clients. I've got people twice a week. I got a bunch weekly. I got bi-week, a couple monthly. Awesome, I am not recharging enough. My voice, you can hear it, my voice Now. Now, what is recharge might not be fulfilling you just said what is?

Alan

fulfilling might not be recharged good I was.

Kevin

I want to you know how some I I'm sorry I interrupted you right in the middle of a freaking. It would have been. It was a gem and I I'd stagger.

Alan

I do that time to you all the time.

Kevin

P-P-O-P. So say it again and put some zhuzh on it, some zhuzh.

Alan

Yeah, all right, now I can't. No, you got this, you can, all right.

Kevin

From the old acting days. Tie it up. Come on, lock it up.

Recharge and fulfillment with meaningful activities

Alan

Let's go to the old acting days. Okay, lock it up. What is good for recharge is not necessarily fulfilling, and what is fulfilling is not necessarily recharge. However, it's a percentage. So for you, ufc, if you go to bed at 2 am, it's not recharge. If you watch it for three or four hours, it's not only recharge, but it's also fulfilling. Told matt this, I said, for me it's film and food love. It got a new projector awesome, it's so, so excited. I'm actually late to movie club so I want to go.

Alan

But, uh, if it's so, I just watched a film. It's based on a true story. It's the first, not the first, but it was a mexican golf team that was handling so much racism because of that sport being predominantly white, caucasian males, essentially. And it was based on a true story. At the end they showed the real pictures, the real. I love that. To me, it's super inspiring when underdogs win through massive adversity. And that was not only recharged, that was also inspiring and therefore fulfilling as well. And so some films are just recharged, like when was also inspiring and therefore fulfilling as well. And so some films are just recharged, like when I watched the Rundown what a stupid movie, but it was recharged. Sometimes I want a stupid movie right, whereas a film that's inspiring and motivating and meaningful is not only recharged, but it's also fulfilling. So, everyone out there, what are your lists and I did this with Matt earlier what are the lists of things that recharge you? What are the things that are fulfilling for you? And then, where's the overlap? How do you know?

Kevin

if it recharges you.

Alan

You feel like a million bucks, you feel like you're ready to tackle the day, you feel full, you feel whole. So right now, for example, I'm fulfilled, but I don't feel whole. I don't feel like a good metaphor we use this all the time is the iPhone. When you own 2% battery, you're trying to Uber. Yeah, that's sometimes how I feel.

The feeling of wholeness after recharge

Alan

Before an episode, emilia and I we did a podcast episode Conscious Couples podcast. It's really valuable, please listen. No, it is. It's really valuable, please listen. No, uh, it is. It's really good. But I mean, it was what? Eight o'clock at night last night, we did conscious couples and I had done two. We did the plumbing. Her father came over, helped me with some stuff that I don't know how to do and it was really good. It was an awesome day, but I was cooked man and it's been a freaking week. So how do you know? When you're recharged, you feel whole, you feel eager and excited to get after it, get after your day, instead of right now. I'm eager and excited to do this episode. However, I feel like I have to really kind of push myself to do it more than I'm pulled to do it. I don't feel as as vibrant, as whole it's. It's more of a struggle, but it's still still meaningful.

Kevin

I don't know if I really know what ufc fills my cup. For sure spending time with taryn fills my cup. We. I was watching ufc on saturday and I've been doing the same. I watch it till until like 10, and then I go to bed and then I try to sleep in on Sunday, but I wake up at 6 or 7 anyway, and then I finish it. But I told Taryn I said I don't know if I ever want to watch UFC without you. I want to watch UFC with you in bed for the rest of my life.

Alan

I don't know if I want to.

Kevin

It's the best, even though she doesn't like it. She doesn't, she doesn't want to watch it with me, so it's like well, I don't, I don't want to make you do something you don't want to do, so I can get extra fulfilled, you get less still adds up to 100 or less, less than doing something else. Probably, yeah, we're gonna get to 100.

Alan

It's just gonna be my 80 and you're 20 this is a sort of random and semi off topic, but we love that. I love film and food and I film and food with a movie that emilia is loving. Nothing better 10 out of 10. Yeah, last night was 10 out of 10 because we watched a film for evolve movie club called home. It's fun, it's funny and we had a big meal and it's just the best.

Kevin

What makes it a film?

Alan

What did you say? What's the?

Kevin

difference between a film and a movie Same exact thing.

Alan

You're just that guy. Film, yeah, the only difference is if your film is more of a craft, I think movie is. You're just kind of a consumer. I guess. I'm a snob.

Kevin

You are a snob A, you're just kind of a consumer. I guess I'm a snob. You are a little bit of a film, a little bit yeah. You watch it on like the millimeter film, like the, with the projector you have like the millimeter film you put in there. You have to change it after every scene.

Alan

Yeah, are you up?

Kevin

in the. You're up in the pew playing. You're projecting, projecting it, making sure the the stuff stays on there. You make sure it's the straight on the reel no, absolutely not.

Next Level Dreamliner: the planner, agenda, journal, and habit tracker to rule them all. Get a copy:

Alan

I click a button, kevin, and it comes up for me. That's great. What are your rechargers and what fulfills you? You can, you can, have things that are meaningful, that fulfill you. That actually okay. Fitness, super meaningful, super fulfilling, definitely not fulfilled without it. However, not exactly recharge. You know not when you I mean, if you're getting really good workouts you are not recharged at all. You're. The project day was a struggle for me. Her father's in his mid-50s and I'm over here struggle bussing in comparison, because I just had a big leg day two days prior. Hello, hello, hello. Nlu listener. Thank you, as always, for listening to next level university. Real quick, I just want to jump in and let you know about the next level dreamliner. This is a journal that I use every single day achieve your dreams 90 days at a time. It breaks down your dreams into goals, milestones and daily habits. We hope you enjoy it. The link will be in the show notes I have to.

Kevin

I'm gonna recheck in with these because I don't. Let's do it now. Let's do it. What's the question to get?

Alan

it going Top three recharge Go Lightning round man.

Kevin

No, you can't Lightning round serious stuff like this.

Alan

Recharge One's UFC Food for sure, man, are you kidding me? I've traveled with you. You love food? Yeah, r&r.

Kevin

Is recharge for me.

Alan

What does R&R mean, though? Like what you can do anything for R&R is recharge for me, what does R&R mean?

Kevin

though, turn my freaking brain off. No, no, I can't. R&r is nothingness, escape to nothingness. Well, that's my point. I don't like having responsibility. There you go, there's your recharge, no responsibility.

Alan

Okay.

Kevin

And right now Give me some specifics.

Alan

You and I watched the entire meet the parents series all three of them together while traveling perfect yeah, funny, not too deep, a little bit deep, but not too deep. And food we got tacos every night. It's awesome it's that.

Kevin

Yeah, it's food, and probably food and uh movies that's why we travel together well. And fitness.

Alan

We work all day, then we go to the gym and then we eat food and watch film.

Kevin

Yeah, we exercise, we exercise. Ufc is one, spending time with Tyron is one, but other than that I don't really do anything else.

Alan

Which I like. What's an example of something meaningful that's not recharge? Fulfilling but not recharge. I can tell Kevin's brain is breaking with this concept.

Kevin

It's very hard.

Alan

Yeah, it's very hard.

Kevin

Exercise yeah.

Alan

It's fulfilling but same with podcasting. Is it recharge? When you were doing 20 episodes a week. It wasn't.

Kevin

No, rap is Rap is recharge, even though it's work. There you go, but, yeah, I don't know, I don't really. I feel like I'm in such a groove where I don't really think that much about it. Sundays, I just don't do anything. I just don't really do anything on Sunday. It's like the best. When Taryn wakes up and she's like, yeah, I just kind of want to watch movies, it's like hell. Yeah, you do, let's do that. That's awesome, that's the best. I love that. Yeah, that, that, for me, is the best. I wake up, I do the Dreamliner, I do my mobility. I don't work out on Sundays. Now, I try to sleep in, but I'll do whatever. I'll make sure WhatsApp's good. I'll check my emails, make sure nothing's on fire, make a coffee in the morning. You know what it is I'm and, again, I think we all deal with this. I'm not saying this is a me problem. I'm always supposed to be anywhere at any time. Yeah, and it's such a deep need for me.

Alan

That's a big distinction, right there not being on a schedule.

Kevin

That's the only time I'm always up against it.

Alan

I set a timer in between meetings. I set a timer when I wake up. It's constant, it's a lot and again, that's the life that we need. It's necessary and fulfilling. However, there are times when I just am like you, I know no, no one's schedule, I'm not going anywhere, I don't want to talk to anybody, I'm all peopled out yeah when sunday comes around and that's why, again, the projects we we enjoy.

Alan

I enjoyed it a lot, I really did, but that was hard. I put what 60 podcast, training, coaching on the calendar last week Big week and not having Sunday, being just behind the scenes, no human interaction, was hard for me. I understand and that's nothing against anyone else, and I told this to a client earlier. I said this is what I do all the time, so for you, you're only talking goals and dreams, maybe a couple times a week. This is Kevin and I's life, so I'm very grateful. However, the last thing I want to do when Sunday comes around is go hang out with people, because I'm constantly talking and pouring in and I know you feel the same way.

Kevin

Well, it's a great distinction too, from the perspective of I have certainty. I like the certainty of knowing nothing is coming. I like to Because even if, Okay, cool, we're going to do housework, I would rather just do it and then be done. I've always been someone who just likes to get. If I have to do the thing, let me just get it done, and then I can relax. I can't relax until it's done, and I don't eat until I'm ready to relax, so I won't eat until it's done either. Same, it's the way I'm wired.

Alan

I can't what are we doing? Yeah, because after you and I eat, it's over. That's the end of the game.

Kevin

Pretty much. Last night we were cleaning and Taryn was vacuuming the living room and she accidentally knocked something over when I was eating. And even that I cannot watch her clean when I'm not doing something. It's like I'm not going to eat while you vacuum. It's weird, I don't want to do it. I feel terrible, I don't want to do it. It's weird, I don't like it. But she knocked something over and then we had to take out the carpet machine cleaner thing and I was like I'm done eating, I'm done. She's like what, babe, sit down, I'm done, I don't want to eat. I don't want to eat because there's stuff that has to be done and now I'm just going to help you do the stuff and I'll eat later. And I didn't eat. I didn't eat for a few hours after that.

Kevin

It's just the way I yeah, I am. I am regimented. If I go pick up food every time, come in, put the food on the table. I gotta go pee. I will not eat unless I pee, can't do it. It's a system. Everything has to be whole and complete so then I can shut off. I don't want any surprises. I think that's one of the things I don't want. I don't want kids, because, again, I don't have kids, so I don't know. But no, oh, you want Sunday off? Uh, okay, I am a child and I'm going to crayon on the wall, so now you will, now you will clean up.

Kevin

Yeah, uh, you know what? I don't really plan on doing any work on sunday. So if you guys not crayon on the wall, I don't think it works that way.

Alan

Yeah, man, responsibility it's another episode, but responsibility is as you get older and older and older. There is a part of you that misses no responsibility. For sure you, more than most kev, you mean more than most.

Kevin

Yeah, you have so much responsibility. Yeah, way more than I ever thought I was gonna have.

Alan

Yeah definitely, and the bigger your goals and dreams are, the more responsibility you have to have and if you have a, you don't have a dream to start a family, um, but emily and I do, and so I know, I know, and that's what the project thing I had to find a way to make that meaningful and fulfilling. But you better believe, in the evening I found some time. One hour r&r, it's all I need. I figured it out. I need one hour one hour.

Kevin

Yeah, I feel like that's a youth. One hour is just not enough for me.

Alan

I know, I know you got everyone and that's the end of the episode. I think this will be the end. What is the minimum amount of recharge that you need? And then, what specifically is the most optimal for recharging? And and then, hopefully, most of your work and the things that you do, what's the most meaningful, and then try your best to three columns. Last thing promise.

Kevin

I'm an engineer. I'm an engineer.

Alan

Three columns Ready. First column Three things. I want three things. Wait in the first column, yeah, first column Three things in the first column, ready Re. Wait in the first column, yeah, first column Three things in the first column Ready, recharge yeah, these three things recharge me. Cool Number two. Second column Fulfilling. Fulfilling, these three things fulfill me even though they might not fully recharge me. Boom. Third column the things that are both fulfilling and recharge. Those are the cheat codes.

Kevin

What is my thing? If I'm gonna say something dumb, what do I say? Like I'm not an engineer, but what am I?

Alan

uh, I'm a chungus, hey, I'm a chungus no, uh, you want some disclaimer about saying something dumb, yeah I know it happens, so rarely listen I didn't go to college or something like that you use that all the time.

Kevin

Yeah, I have a very I have a very limited education, a very limited formal education.

Alan

There you go yeah, it's too long. You you always used to say hey, listen, I didn't go to college, I don't have any awards, like hours, and then you, now you have permission to I don't have a single award, zero awards given, none. I don't have any rewards isn't it weird how all this works?

Kevin

how all this happened. Yeah, that's all I think about all the time.

Alan

Yeah, it's fascinating it's a very strange life pretty cool.

Kevin

I yeah, I think so but, also it's weird you have to pee. So bad, really bad. You should have peed before this episode, see I couldn't do it.

Alan

These are two episodes in a row. I gotta jump, I gotta go to a movie club, but I also have to pee.

Kevin

And we did two in a row. The kid's trying to shush me out of a podcast episode so he can go watch film.

Alan

No, I'm not watching film. No, no, no, we're talking about the film in Evolve Movie Club.

Kevin

Well, let's get you out of here so you can go talk. What are you talking about?

Alan

The movie Home Home, which is not only funny and fun. There's some, you know, deep stuff, some depth. It's about emotions. Yeah, sad mad. Anyone who knows Home Sad mad. Kev you, what are you? What are you sad mad? I don't know what that means. It means you're actually sad and mad at the same time. It's oh, so it's pretty straightforward.

Kevin

Yeah, I probably hey, no awards here. You know I probably should have gotten that, but I no awards on these walls, just a spaceship. All right, we're gonna go next up nation. If you are looking for what seems like becoming a more increasingly goofy way to get better and closer to the next level of your life, make sure you're subscribed on whatever podcast platform you are listening or watching on. Also, alan and I are testing some different camera stuff and studio stuff that we'll be doing here over the foreseeable future. We're trying to level up always, always, and we're testing out some stuff. So if you watch us on YouTube, shout out to you and, yeah, subscribe. We appreciate you.

Alan

I am always looking for more people to help achieve their goals and dreams. I have 27 clients currently and I don't want that to come off either pretentious on any level or I don't want anyone to be afraid that I don't have space. I will make space. Coaching is my favorite work. It's the most meaningful work I do. It's also what I I will make. Space Coaching is my favorite work. It's the most meaningful work I do. It's also what I think I'm best at and that's what I want to do more of.

Alan

So if anyone out there listening has considered coaching but they say you know what, alan's going to be too busy I will prioritize my business coaching clients always and I'll do my best to do that and continue doing that. And yes, I'm not perfect, but I don't want anyone to be reluctant just because I know that I had a client one time way, way, way back and she came back to my coaching. I'm very grateful. She said for a little while there I started feeling like a number and the truth is I was overwhelmed and I was focused on too many other things. Business coaching is my main priority and I will make you a priority if you join me. The first session is free. The link will be in the show notes.

Outro

Kevin

And I can attest to that because I was in the waiting room for 20 minutes while Alan finished up a call that was deep because he wanted to make sure that he didn't leave the client high and dry during a deep emotional moment. So I can attest to that as somebody who has been in the waiting room waiting for him in the best way possible, not a bad way. Thank you, brother, you're very welcome, as always. We love you, we appreciate you, grateful for each and every one of you, and at nlu we don't have fans we have family.

Alan

We will talk to you all tomorrow. Keep it fulfilling.

Kevin

Next of the nation thanks for joining us for another episode of next level university. We love connecting with the next level family.

Alan

We mean it when we say family. If you ever need anything, please reach out to us directly. Everything you need to get a hold of us is in the show notes.

Kevin

Thank you again and we will talk to you tomorrow.

Head Shot

Alan Lazaros

Host
Head Shot

Kevin Palmieri

Host