Next Level University

How To Learn To Take Losses Better (1883)

• Kevin Palmieri and Alan Lazaros

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In this episode, hosts Kevin and Alan share inspiring stories and practical tips on turning losses into growth opportunities. Learn how to handle criticism constructively, build resilience, and maintain self-belief in the face of setbacks. Discover how to use feedback to improve and develop a growth mindset. Whether you want to grow personally or professionally, this episode is packed with actionable advice to help you confidently bounce back.

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Show notes:
(1:39) Learning to take losses better
(4:04) The value of taking small, manageable losses
(5:20) Handling feedback and understanding intentions
(12:01) Prioritizing and communication styles
(16:55) At NLU, we want you to win! So, we're giving tools and resources to ensure your success. Join our Monthly Meet-up every first Thursday of the month at 5 PM. https://bit.ly/40IJYAu
(24:44) Lessons learned from a challenging group presentation
(28:08) Growth through adversity and setting achievable goals
(31:

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🎙️ Hosted by Kevin Palmieri and Alan Lazaros

Next Level University is a top-ranked daily podcast for dream chasers and self-improvement lovers. With over 2,100 episodes, we help you level up in life, love, health, and wealth one day at a time. Subscribe for real, honest, no-fluff growth every single day.

Kevin Palmieri

yes, I took an L. Yes, it sucked. Yes, it hurt. It was my approach that created the L, more than anything else. So if I change my approach next time, things should go a little bit differently. And they did.

Alan Lazaros

Okay, every time you take an L, you have to parse all that out and then figure out what's accurate. Some people think, oh, I gave you feedback and you're pissed because it's true. You wouldn't be triggered if it wasn't true. No, I'm pissed that you're that ignorant. It's not true. You're inaccurate. You don't get me, you don't see me, you don't understand what I'm trying to do here.

Kevin Palmieri

Welcome to Next Level University. I'm your host, kevin Palmieri, and I'm your co-host, alan.

Alan Lazaros

Lazarus At NLU, we believe in a heart-driven but no BS approach to holistic self-improvement for dream chasers. Our goal with every episode is to help you level up your life, love, health and wealth.

Kevin Palmieri

We bring you a new episode every single day on topics like confidence, self-belief, self-worth, self-awareness, relationships, boundaries, consistency, habits and defining your own unique version of success.

Alan Lazaros

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Learning to take losses better

Kevin Palmieri

Welcome to Next Level University, next Level Nation. Welcome back to another episode of Next Level University, where we help you level up your life, your love, your health and your wealth. Today for episode number 1,882, how to learn to take losses better. I know losing sucks. I know making mistakes sucks. I know feeling like a failure sucks. I know making mistakes sucks. I know feeling like a failure sucks.

Kevin Palmieri

But what if I told you that the thing you will most likely experience most between now and the level of success you desire is just a bunch of small hopefully not too significant failures? I've said this many times. I say this on podcasts. All the time you see my 100 successes publicly. I have made thousands of mistakes behind the scenes. You just don't ever really see them. And if you do see them, they seem very, very small. Like I might misspeak on this episode and forget what I want to say, that is an L. Loss in this episode would be an L. That is an L for me. If I forget what I want to say, that's an L. That's a mistake. I didn't want that to happen. But it also isn't the end of the world. I think we live. I won't say it that way.

Kevin Palmieri

It's easy to live life, assuming everything that you do is the big game we talked about that a little bit, I think, a week ago or a couple weeks ago when, in reality, most of the stuff you're doing is practice. It's only the big game if it's the last time you do it. So yeah, okay, let's imagine this. Imagine Kevin in 212 years on his deathbed Just old, decrepit Wrinkles, just every time I walk I'm cracking. You know, I got one last speech. I'm going out. This is it. This is the last one. I'm going to give it everything. I got 212 years, 212. I'll be 247 years old. Last one, here we go, baby. I walk up on that stage and I forget everything. That kind of is the Super Bowl. That's the big game, this is it.

Alan Lazaros

This is it.

The value of taking small, manageable losses

Kevin Palmieri

This is all I got. There will be no practice tomorrow. Wherever I end up, maybe I'll practice, I don't know. But that's different and for most of us for I'm guessing, probably statistically, all of you listening you will be here tomorrow and that means today. While it matters a ton, it's the most important day ever. Because it's today, it's also kind of a practice. So trying to disassociate from the outcome, I think is always going to be important. But we were talking about this in the meetup and somebody asked about this Because essentially I said important.

Kevin Palmieri

But we were talking about this in the meetup and somebody asked about this because essentially I said when you are doing stuff that's outside of your comfort zone and there is the opportunity that you will fail quote, unquote and let's just say make a mistake. If you have a level three belief and you're doing a level three and a half behavior, I think if it does go horribly wrong, it won't necessarily break you. So if you've never spoken before you speaking into your cell phone For just you to see If you mess up, it's not the end of the world you can start again. If you are terrified to speak and you go to an event and somebody picks you out of the crowd and says Kevin Palmieri, 15 minute spot, Give us your best shit. And I go up there and I tinkle down my own leg that's probably going to be it for me and say you know what? I'm going to stay behind the scenes. I think I'm better behind the scenes.

Kevin Palmieri

Because, my level of belief in myself. If it's a two and I get a level 10 opportunity, I have a level eight pain when it doesn't go my way and it's really hard to recoup from a level eight pain. So that's kind of what we're talking about today in this episode.

Alan Lazaros

We got feedback from the meetup. Someone said something along the lines of Alan kept interrupting Kev and it was driving me nuts, or something like that.

Kevin Palmieri

From the meetup.

Alan Lazaros

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, it's okay. You sure it wasn't group coaching? That person might be listening. I know I didn't think I interrupted you that much, but he doesn't know our.

Kevin Palmieri

You sure it wasn't group coaching.

Alan Lazaros

Oh, that was group coaching. Yeah, it was group coaching. Oh, why Was I interrupting you a lot? Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Kevin Palmieri

Seriously Well. So here's the thing. The dynamic for group coaching is Alan is the coach and Kevin is the coach number two assistant coach, but Alan leads group coaching way more than I do. This was the first session ever that it was just podcasting Whoa and I was leading, and you have never been on that end from group coaching where you have to jump in to say something. So that's, I think that's why it probably came off that way.

Alan Lazaros

Yeah, of course, of course. And that's the thing right, of course there's. That's the thing right, of course there's. There's two, three ways I could take that feedback and I, the person who shared it. They told amy, amy told me and amy said well, don't worry, I can share it with him anonymously. And he said, no, no, tell him who it was. Yeah, good, good, yeah, for sure I. There's a big difference between feedback that is to try to poison people against me or to try to villainize me, or that is completely unreasonable, versus actual constructive feedback, and that's a whole other conversation. But my point is to taking L's I had no idea that that came off that way. I thought I was adding value. Well, you were adding value.

Kevin Palmieri

I think people, just I don't know. I think people like me and when you interrupt me they're like there goes Alan again, there goes Alan again. You know no respect for the freaking kid when in reality it's like I don't. Yeah, no, no, worries, man, there's some things that I missed that you added value on, but I can understand.

Alan Lazaros

That's the duality of it. Did you do good to me there?

Kevin Palmieri

he goes, do I interrupt?

Alan Lazaros

you. I love the, the back and forth we have. I feel like that's where all the value is same. Same. Do you do the like?

Kevin Palmieri

when I'm the pilot or whatever, and you're the, you jump in I believe I'm more used to jumping in than you are, so you do it better. So I think I have more muscle that way. Yeah, I think it's easier for me. I also think that, that person?

Alan Lazaros

yeah, I'm also. I also think that that person. I also think that that person is and again, this will tie back promise to the listeners is that person under the impression that you understand podcasting more than me? Yes, oh, okay. Is that because we've branded you that way?

Kevin Palmieri

I think I do. My truth is, I think there's very few things that I know better than you. I do believe podcasting is one of them.

Alan Lazaros

Would you say it's close?

Kevin Palmieri

I think on the macro level, you understand how it all works because you're really good at Just your awareness of everything is super high. I've just been in the trenches more than more than you, just, like me, do. I did. I do a lot of coaching, similar to the way you do it back in the day. Yeah, but when alan and I log on a meeting, he's like dude, I'm gonna be, I'll be a couple minutes late. I just went super deep with someone we were talking about like some deep stuff. It's really easy for me to lose sight of how much that probably takes out of you, because I'm not almost ever doing that anymore yeah, you know the.

Alan Lazaros

The point that I made of all of that is this is that that feedback was an l for me. Quote unquote. But what is it? This is the problem with feedback. Every time you get feedback, you have to figure out what is accurate. Is there truth to that? Yes, okay, I didn't, but I didn't. I didn't think I interrupted you any more than usual and amy said well, on the podcast you guys have your sort of banter back and forth and that's how it works and that's actually the value. They. Carl doesn't listen to the show now and now. Everyone knows it was car. That's actually the value. They. Carl doesn't listen to the show now and now. Everyone knows it was carl. Carl. What's up, brother? He didn't mind. He doesn't mind. So carl is doesn't listen to the show, to my awareness. Does he listen to nlu?

Kevin Palmieri

I don't know, I think so. I don't know if every episode, but occasionally, because he'll message me out of the blue and be like hey man I was listening to the episode so, yeah, probably nlu or pgu, nlu really, carl.

Alan Lazaros

What's up, brother? I'm, I'm sitting there and this is good for taking l's, because for me, those feel I'm okay. Am I? Am I embarrassed? Is there truth to this? What it? What can I do about it? Is it constructive, is it not? I think the feedback piece to what you just said. If you have very low self-belief and then you get level eight feedback, that's harsh, that's hard. I had to force that out of Amy for lack of better phrasing. So we were talking around the phone yesterday and we were reviewing, doing the metrics for group coaching and I could tell she was holding something back and she I said what, what's going on? What are you scared to share? And she's like good for you, good for you, how do you know? I said I can tell, I can tell. So what's up? And she said, yeah, I got some feedback about you on group coaching. I was like here we go, great.

Kevin Palmieri

Positive yeah, yeah constructive.

Alan Lazaros

But here's the deal. Now I can improve. But here's the deal, now I can improve. So every L is an opportunity to improve. So now I can try to interrupt Kev less or differently. Now here's the deal. Do I agree that that's what's best? It's intentions, approach and results, and I haven't talked about this in a long time.

Alan Lazaros

Every time you do something, you have to look at, okay, what was their intentions, what was the approach and what was the impact? What was the result? So my intention was pure, of course, to add value. On group coaching, I was, oh, I can't wait to interrupt Kev a bunch. I'm not trying to dominate this conversation. My intention was to add value. My approach was jump in, because I don't know when I'm going to be able to, and I want to make sure that. Okay, did he think of this? Or did I want to reframe it for them so they understand the big picture? And to be honest too, in group coaching, I'm realizing this. Now I'm on the listener's team more than I'm on Kevin's team, and with Emilia and I on Conscious Couples Podcast, that's been really challenging, dude. Imagine doing a podcast with Taryn.

Kevin Palmieri

Done one, one episode back in the day. How was it?

Alan Lazaros

I just let her go See that. Imagine doing that as a business, because the truth is, I'm a significantly stronger communicator at this stage as hard as that is to share and Emilia is a strong communicator, but I've been doing this for at least three years longer and more full time than her and I'm more aware about what the listeners might need to hear in order to make a concept land. I would say I'm good at making concepts land for an engineer, okay. That said, my intention is for the listener listener, so I'm on the listener's team right now. I'm not on kevin's team. I'm.

Alan Lazaros

I love you, brother we're good I'm not here for you and I I hope that's obvious, right, you're not here for me, we're here for the listener.

Kevin Palmieri

Yeah, yeah, yeah yeah, yeah, I don't even think about that, really, really.

Alan Lazaros

But it's unconscious, right? Yeah, if you and I aren't on the same page, we get back on the same page, but the priority right now is the listener.

Kevin Palmieri

Always yeah, even this episode. It's a balance of I don't always want to do the episode. It's not like I wake up. Today I was super excited to do these because we actually knew we were doing them, so it was a little bit different. But sometimes I didn't want to do the episode on phone hygiene. It's boring as shit, man, but I remember. Yeah, I think it's boring as hell, but I also think it's super valuable, because if somebody said what's one thing that has helped you remain less distracted today than you were five years ago, it's phone hygiene. So it's not the thing I was. I didn't wake up, roll out of bed and say, whoa, let's go, I'm going to talk about my home screen, talk about emergency contacts. Today's going to be lit. But after we did it I was like, yeah, that was really valuable, that was a really valuable episode. So, yes, I agree.

Alan Lazaros

Well when I'm with you, I agree. Well when I'm with you, amelia, I'll make this land. It's very scary for me, because she's the love of my life, to not be on her team. I'm like advocating for the listener, and sometimes, when her and I aren't on the same page, live on the podcast, I'm advocating for the listener, not for her. And you can imagine right, when you're at an event and Taryn's there, it's hard for you because you have to shift from her being the priority back to the audience being the priority, that kind of thing.

Kevin Palmieri

I think that's different. That's different for me. I can tell when Emilia was at the meetup and Alan's different for a couple minutes and then you go back. For me I don't really think about it that much Genuinely. If anything, it motivates me to do better. It's like more skin in the game.

Alan Lazaros

What's your priority, though?

Kevin Palmieri

Taryn was at my very first speech I ever gave. The very first speech I ever gave. I didn't really think about it.

Alan Lazaros

At all times, everyone has a priority. An intention, so that doesn't shift at all, even when Taryn's there.

Kevin Palmieri

No.

Alan Lazaros

No, no, I don't. It does change the audience, though, because she's in the audience.

Kevin Palmieri

Yeah, but it's not for her, it's for the audience. She comes because she loves me, not necessarily because she's just because she's trying to learn something that day I'm. I don't think about, it's not for her, it's for the audience.

Alan Lazaros

So it's always for the audience. Okay. Intentions, approach, result my intention was pure in that moment when I took that L. My approach was not optimal, obviously, from everyone's perspective. I would be curious if other people agree. And then the result was I annoyed Carl. Okay, every time you take an L you have to parse all that out and then figure out what's accurate.

Alan Lazaros

Some people think, oh, I gave you feedback and you're pissed because it's true. You wouldn't be triggered if it wasn't true. No, I'm pissed that you're that ignorant. It's not true. You're inaccurate.

Alan Lazaros

You don't get me, you don't see me. You don't understand what I'm trying to do here and again. Understandable, right, they have more. You can't see beneath the iceberg. All you see is me interrupting Kevin. You don't see the thousands of things going on in my head for why I'm doing that.

At NLU, we want you to win! So, we're giving tools and resources to ensure your success. Join our Monthly Meet-up every first Thursday of the month at 5 PM.

Alan Lazaros

And so again, at the end of the day, the whole point of this episode is how do you handle feedback? Because feedback, dude, what is coaching, feedback? I give feedback for a living and some people handle it so freaking well and they grow rapidly. People who do not handle feedback well are stuck as hell and I'm serious, I'm going to be very adamant about this. If you don't handle feedback well. You are stuck as it gets and you need to overcome that. Nlu listener, what is happening? I just wanted to jump in here and let you know. If you want to get to the next level faster. We have a free virtual monthly meetup at the first thursday of every month. You can connect with like-minded people and become a bigger part of this amazing global community. The link to register will be in the show notes well, the other thing too this episode is about carl.

Kevin Palmieri

Essentially he's becoming about carl. He's really good at taking feedback, so it makes sense that for him he wants to give it to help improve. He reaches. Carl will reach out with like five one-minute audios and ask me like five super deep questions Like where am I effing up? Loves it? Just all about it, all about the growth. So that's the other thing too is, if you love receiving feedback, you also might like giving it, which is good, depending on you know who you're giving it to. And here's the other thing too I'm not. This is where it always gets wonky. I'm not saying lower your standards but underneath that group coaching example we have never done that group coaching example. We have never done that group coaching before. It's the first time.

Kevin Palmieri

I made the entire thing. Alan and I reviewed it 40 minutes before we did it. I've never taught that in the way we taught it. Alan has never seen it in that way before. And then we went and did it live in front of 11 people.

Kevin Palmieri

Of course there's going to be. Of course there's going to be l's. And the reason I'm saying that is because context matters. So if I, if this episode was an episode that I had done a thousand times. I say the same shit every time. I do the intro the same way. Every word I say is exactly the same.

Kevin Palmieri

An L for me would be forgetting a word. I've done this a thousand times. I should know better by now. If there's a hurricane outside and I have to pee really bad and Tara and I are in a fight and Alan and I aren't connected and I don't know if my check for my car is going to go through and it's going to get paid, and I have a really bad headache and I feel nauseous, I'm going to take all those into account of my performance. Now, if you have 10 out of 10 self-belief, you're probably thinking to yourself whatever, all of that doesn't matter, that's all circumstantial. I'm going to give it everything I have, love it. You have 10 out of 10 self-belief playing a different game. But if you're somebody who you feel like you took an L, look at the reasons why you feel like you took an L and one of the reasons might be because I had a headache, because I didn't get enough sleep. I'm not saying excuse your way out of improvement, but if you feel like you're at a level 2 and you feel like you took a level 10 L. Is there anything circumstantially that will help you close that gap? Because I think that would be that would be constructive.

Kevin Palmieri

The first speech I ever gave went better than I expected. It's like I crushed that. Awesome. I feel like I crushed it. The second speech I gave was terrible and I had the kids doing push-ups. Not good, wasn't a good speech. Then I sat down and said, okay, well, what happened? I got a little arrogant. I got a little arrogant. I got a little arrogant after the first one. The first one went better than I expected. I thought I could get away with five flashcards. Yes, I took an L. Yes, it sucked. Yes, it hurt. It was my approach that created the L more than anything else. So if I change my approach next time, things should go a little bit differently.

Alan Lazaros

And they did. There there's the interrupt.

Kevin Palmieri

It's okay, I thought you were done. That was a dramatic pause, yeah the other piece of this.

Alan Lazaros

Kevin is always evolving when he improves his pauses. Now I have to re-figure out when to jump in the what are you benchmarking yourself up like what? What L's are contextual. It's not like basketball when you won the game or you lost the game, okay, why. Well, my legs were shot. Okay, why, because I did leg day right before the game. Okay, well, probably shouldn't do that. The root cause analysis has to be powerful and then you have to find an actual solution. So Kevin and I have done audio issues for 1850 episodes. Every time there's an issue, I'm annoyed and then I complain to you about it and I turn that frustration into fascination. We figure out what's wrong and then we improve. All improvements are predicated on feedback. But if you don't take feedback, well, you won't. I don't think you can improve without feedback. I think it's impossible. It's impossible to improve without feedback. You're not just going to get better, it's got to be constructive. Yes, agreed. So feedback is necessary, but not sufficient, because it needs to be constructive feedback.

Kevin Palmieri

When I say constructive, I just mean within the realm of yeah, their tolerance window.

Kevin Palmieri

Yeah, it's got to be Now more than ever. I'm not saying this is like, yeah, this is going to solve everything. I'm not saying that. But belief and the goals you set, I believe, should be within a certain amount of numbers. So if you have a level two self-belief, I don't think you should set anything higher than a level five goal. I don't think you should set anything higher than a level five goal. I don't. That's my truth. If you have level two belief, I don't think you should receive anything higher than level five feedback, Because I think it's gonna suck.

Alan Lazaros

That's why it's very important to figure it's gonna be destructive.

Kevin Palmieri

It's gonna be destructive. That's why it's so important to figure out.

Alan Lazaros

Who do I ask for feedback? I did three fitness shows. I came in arrogant to the first one, lost, came in super humble and fearful. The second one Did all my check-ins, didn't miss a beat, crushed everybody and then got cocky again and lost the third one. The reason why we always say you can take feedback all along the way or get it all at once, all at once, creates trauma. So I got laughed off stage on that third one, genuinely like the judges were actually laughing. I was brutal because I I breathed with a little whistle.

Kevin Palmieri

It sounded like a snake the guy next to me was like he's like what I don't know. I remember what number you were. He was like what the hell is number 87 doing? And I was like I don't know, man, I don't know.

Alan Lazaros

I was so devastated.

Kevin Palmieri

Kevin was so disappointed I was so sad I was sad for you.

Alan Lazaros

I appreciate it.

Kevin Palmieri

yeah, You've seen me take some L's. Huh, I have seen you take many of the l's you talk about. I've seen you take, yeah, or taken with you, unfortunately.

Alan Lazaros

I've taken, I've taken some of them with you. Yeah, we gave real quick, real quick.

Kevin Palmieri

We, we went to wisconsin shout out to bobby joe, one of the amazing nlu family members. We got a speech that was to. That was 1100 students over three groups. And then we were doing a training on effective communication to the faculty and when I tell you, this was a level 10 L, it was a level 15 L. We start with Alan's like can everybody hear me? And a bunch of people in the back are like, no, not at all. And he's like, all right, good, let's go. And then he just starts hammering and it was just the 25 impact points of effective communication.

Lessons learned from a challenging group presentation

Kevin Palmieri

I don't know. The best way I can explain it is if you've ever had a dream where you go to school naked. Was the reality? Just standing there in front of all these people, knowing that they all hated us and they're like what do you, 30 year old kids know about communication? When it comes to education, it's like, honestly, probably very little, based on the presentation that we just we gave you. It wasn't our best stuff and we were not invited back.

Alan Lazaros

The 25 impact points of effective communication are world class.

Kevin Palmieri

I didn't understand the context like I do now, context matters.

Alan Lazaros

Context matters more than you can imagine. I mean, if you don't have the context, talking to 7-year-olds is different. Remember, we gave this speech to the kids. Yeah, yeah, yeah, I coached an 11 old and a seven year old once. I'll never forget it was a little little girl and a young boy good, uh, shout out to tyrus. He's a very conscious parent who literally wanted me to pour into his kids. It was awesome and I was so out of my comfort zone I don't know how to coach these little people and they were like yeah, I want to start a YouTube channel and all this stuff.

Kevin Palmieri

I'm like, okay, you want to change the world. Yeah, you want to change the world. You ready to change the world? How many habits are you tracking? What are you up to? Six, seven?

Alan Lazaros

Yeah, the little boy was less humble and the little girl was super humble and came with questions and everything. That makes a lot of sense, I think, statistically, women are more humble. I'll say that forever. I think that's facts. But anyways, our whole point of this is feedback. So what?

Kevin Palmieri

you're saying is that that would be traumatic, for If you weren't there, that would have been it. Now, if you weren't there, it wouldn't happen that way. There's a lot of layers. I didn't even know what we were teaching until we taught it. So Alan was responsible for the training. I spearheaded the presentation for the speeches. And Alan's like yeah, no, I'm good man, I got it. I got it and I was like all right, cool. And then the day of I looked at it and you and I went through it, I was like all right, cool. And then the day of I looked at it and you and I went through it and I was like wait, this is what we're doing. There's no stories or anything. Dude, we're in trouble, we are in trouble.

Alan Lazaros

That was when I thought concepts mattered.

Kevin Palmieri

Well, they did.

Alan Lazaros

They're one-fifth of the equation.

Kevin Palmieri

Concepts are one-fifth of the equation. I very honest, very transparent and slightly vulnerable. I knew you could handle more of the L than I did, than I could, so I just let you lead and essentially take many of the bullets. Not because I want. It wasn't like, yeah, alan's gonna fail. It was kind of like Alan, you kind of did this to us. I don't know if I can take any more than I'm taking. This is gonna break me.

Alan Lazaros

This is gonna.

Kevin Palmieri

We are currently doing, we're under fire yeah, we're currently doing damage and then on the way, it was like walking out of an arena in an away game. I was waiting for hot dogs to come flying down from the stands, freaking, brutal man uh yeah, there's a.

Alan Lazaros

There's a lot to learn from all that we did learn a lot from that Dude. I never will do that again.

Kevin Palmieri

I didn't understand.

Growth through adversity and setting achievable goals

Alan Lazaros

Yeah, we learned so much through that we learn way more from failure than we do from success, and I know we got to jump here, but people say that all the time. Right, micro failure for macro success. Two people go to the gym. One person is struggling to get the 80s up and the other person has the perfect outfit and they're making it look easy. Which person do you bet on? The person who's struggling is going to grow more. They're going to learn more. They're going to yeah, they'll get injured more, but they'll also rehab better, and they'll. They'll. Just one of them is going to be more jacked in five years in better shape. And that's the case If you have level two self-belief. Take a level two. Set a level three goal. Take a level two l and until you get to level three.

Alan Lazaros

This is next level, you next level, university. I'm alan version 3.6 dude. I don't even feel like alan version 3.6 would would mind an l like that as much. And and here's the deal, ironically, I wouldn't take an l like that. It's almost like by the time you can handle the loss, you're already grown past that in a way, because of all the losses you took before that. So I, out of every hundred shots you take, you probably lose 70 of them. You probably do decent at 20 and then you get 10, 10 in. You hit 10 three-pointers people remember the three-pointers and ultimately, long term, that's a lot of three-pointers.

Alan Lazaros

You know, I mean we've done 16 groups in group coaching. What if we reached out to 100 people each group, that's 1,600 people and just said, hey, you know, we have this group coaching program, it's super valuable. Do you want in? Let's say, out of those 100, each 30 responded and 10 joined, great. And now that said, you got to be respectful and you can't spam and be careful with that, because some people just spray and pray. But at the end of the day, we have gotten to where we are, this level of success, through pain, failure, suffering, trials, tribulations and, most importantly, taking feedback constructively, figuring out what is the truth in this feedback and then changing our approach for next time. Alan version 3.6 and Kevin version 3.5. I'm not even 36 yet. I'm going to be 36, I guess next week.

Alan Lazaros

In a week or two, 17th, and we are capable of so much more. But because we developed ourselves through each of those struggles. When you go to the gym, that is the best metaphor. It's easy Workouts don't create growth. Hard workouts create growth. And then you go in and even have, and then you up the ante and then you have an even harder workout, and then you up the ante and then you have an even harder.

Alan Lazaros

Growth requires feedback. And so, carl, shout out to you brother, I know you didn't mean it negatively it's up to me to take it and find a way to make it constructive, because sometimes you are going to get level 10 L's when you don't expect it. That's what trauma is. Dude. Adversity is a lot of feedback. That's unexpected. That car accident was tons of feedback for me and fortunately I was physically okay. But I had to find a way to work through that trauma and figure out what I want to change.

Alan Lazaros

Adversity and feedback and constructive criticism and all these painful things, struggles that we go through to achieve our goals they're worthless unless you do something with them. So hopefully they make you stronger, they make you smarter, they make you more resilient, more grit. Hopefully they you grow from them and it makes them more meaningful. And then, when you get to the top of the metaphorical mountain and you do achieve a goal or a dream, you can say it was worth it. It was worth it and all the pain and suffering and struggles were worth it. Dude, just meeting Emilia it made it all worth it. I took so many L's in relationships before meeting Emilia and I would do it all again to meet her again, and I just feel like that's what the human condition is. There's no one on planet Earth who doesn't struggle. There's only people who fake like they don't.

Reflecting on personal growth through failures

Kevin Palmieri

Epic monologue. Thanks, brother. Rather than try to add on to that, this is what I was thinking before you went on the epic monologue, so I'm not thinking about it as much. But imagine, after we were talking about the L we took for the speech, we had like a really nice commercial. Hey, this is Kevin Palmieri and I'm Alan Lazarus. Let us teach you how to speak effectively to audiences. Imagine if we had a commercial right after we talked about how bad we did. That would be really funny.

Alan Lazaros

That would be like. Ironically, we're actually more ready to teach that we are.

Kevin Palmieri

Yeah, we are. Well, even then, we just it was the approach was off. We, the points are really good, the points are really good, the 25 points are really good. We just we had like 28 minutes to deliver 25 points and we were just here's one, here's one here's one, here's one.

Alan Lazaros

We'll never do that again.

Outro

Kevin Palmieri

No lessons were learned. Lessons were learned. Okay, if you want to make sure you never miss an opportunity to get to the next level, subscribe on whatever platform or listening to us on. Not only does it help us, help more people, because it puts us in the charts and all of that happy jazz. But I know not every day is the day you wake up and say I really want to get better today. So when you get the notification that NLU dropped the latest episode, maybe that'll be the gentle kick in the butt. We also have Next Level Nation, a free, private Facebook group to help you get to the next level. So if you're all in on Next Levelness, we have a Facebook group just for you. As always, we love you, we appreciate you, grateful for each and every one of you at NLU. We don't have fans. We have family. We will talk to you all tomorrow.

Alan Lazaros

Keep taking feedback constructively. Next Level Nation.

Kevin Palmieri

Thanks for joining us for another episode of Next Level University. We love connecting with the Next Level family.

Alan Lazaros

We mean it when we say family. If you ever need anything, please reach out to us directly. Everything you need to get a hold of us is in the show notes.

Kevin Palmieri

Thank you again and we will talk to you tomorrow.

Head Shot

Alan Lazaros

Host
Head Shot

Kevin Palmieri

Host