Next Level University

You CANT Learn Without Humility (1885)

• Kevin Palmieri and Alan Lazaros

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How can humility shape your journey toward success? In today’s episode, Kevin and Alan share honest stories from their own lives about how pride and resistance can keep us from reaching our potential. Together, they explore how humility helps us learn from others, especially when advice feels tough to hear. Tune in to discover why actual progress means staying open, curious, and willing to implement advice.

Links mentioned:
Next Level Nation: https://www.facebook.com/groups/459320958216700
Free-30 Minute Coaching Call with Alan: https://bit.ly/4f3MSUz

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NLU is not just a podcast; it’s a gateway to a wealth of resources designed to help you achieve your goals and dreams. From our Next Level Dreamliner to our Group Coaching, we offer a variety of tools and communities to support your personal development journey.

For more information, please check out our website at the link below. 👇

Website 💻  http://www.nextleveluniverse.com

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Any of these communities or resources are FREE to join and consume
Next Level Nation - https://www.facebook.com/groups/459320958216700
Next Level 5 To Thrive (free course) - ​​https://bit.ly/3xffver
Next Level U Book Club - https://bit.ly/3BQBYDr
Next Level Monthly Meet-up:  https://www.nextleveluniverse.com/monthly-meetups/

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We love connecting with you guys! Reach out on Instagram, Facebook, or via email. We’re here to support you in your personal and professional development journey.

Instagram 📷
Kevin: https://www.instagram.com/neverquitkid/
Alan: https://www.instagram.com/alazaros88/

Facebook ✍
Alan: https://www.facebook.com/alan.lazaros
Kevin: https://www.facebook.com/kevin.palmieri.90/

Email 💬
Kevin@nextleveluniverse.com
Alan@nextleveluniverse.com

LinkedIn ✍
Kevin: https://www.linkedin.com/in/kevin-palmieri-5b7736160/
Alan: https://www.linkedin.com/in/alanlazarosllc/

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Show notes:
(2:42) Humility in personal growth and self-improvement
(5:24) A story on humility and fitness advice
(10:19) The challenge of helping people who lack humility
(12:01) At NLU, we want you to win! So, we’re giving tools and resources to ensure your success. Join our Monthly Meet-up every first Thursday of the month at 5 PM. https://bit.ly/40IJYAu
(14:11) Recognizing when advice is rejected
(18:14) Why is humility essential for growth and achievement?
(23:00) Outro

Send a text to Kevin and Alan!

🎙️ Hosted by Kevin Palmieri and Alan Lazaros

Next Level University is a top-ranked daily podcast for dream chasers and self-improvement lovers. With over 2,100 episodes, we help you level up in life, love, health, and wealth one day at a time. Subscribe for real, honest, no-fluff growth every single day.

Kevin Palmieri

I'm going to ask people who have already had babies how do I succeed at this? And here's the difference Whether I agree with them or not, I am going to take in the information and try to find the value from it. Whether I agree with your parenting style or not, whether I agree with the way you've raised your children or not, there's something in there for me.

Alan Lazaros

Einstein called it the eighth wonder of the world and he read it and he said I don't buy it. And I remember thinking, oh, you're in trouble. You don't buy small, seemingly insignificant positive choices and how those affect your life. You don't buy that You're in trouble.

Kevin Palmieri

Welcome to Next Level University. I'm your host, Kevin Palmieri.

Alan Lazaros

And I'm your co-host, Alan Lazarus.

Kevin Palmieri

At NLU, we believe in a heart-driven but no BS approach to holistic self-improvement for dream chasers.

Alan Lazaros

Our goal with every episode is to help you level up your life love health and wealth.

Kevin Palmieri

We bring you a new episode every single day, on topics like confidence, self-belief, self-worth, self-awareness, relationships, boundaries, consistency, habits and defining your own unique version of success.

Alan Lazaros

Self-improvement in your pocket, every day, from anywhere, completely free.

Kevin Palmieri

Welcome to Next Level University. Welcome to Next Level University, next Level Nation, welcome back to another episode of Next Level University, where we help you level up your life, your love, your health and your wealth. Today, for episode number 1,885,. You can't learn without humility. Kind of negative, a little bit of a negative title here on a Wednesday. We don't mean it that way.

Humility in personal growth and self-improvement

Kevin Palmieri

Alan and I were having a conversation. We had a deep conversation today and then we transitioned into okay, it's time to record, let's record an episode. And Alan said what are you learning from being on other podcasts? And I said A lot of the shows that I've been on have had hosts that are really really, really humble. And we get to the end of the episode and they say I learned a lot from this and it was very valuable. And they must have a pretty high level of humility because when I tell my story, they know I don't have any higher education, they know that I wasn't gifted in any way, shape or form, and I think it probably requires humility to listen to what I have to say. Yeah, we have a lot of podcast episodes and business success quote, unquote, but you have to have some humility to sit with the things that I say and actually listen to them. Now, I don't necessarily think that part is super valuable to you, whether you're watching or listening, because, statistically speaking, most of our community is super humble.

Alan Lazaros

We've just just they probably wouldn't listen to us if they weren't most likely they're here to learn. People say sorry to interrupt you, but people tell them.

Alan Lazaros

Let's tell them about them, alan, your favorite thing, their favorite thing I always get asked on podcasts tell us about next level university and the way I say it is next level university. Next level, you pun intended the next level version of yourself. So I'm going to be Alan 3.6, smarter than Alan 3.2, smarter way smarter than Alan 1.6. And I think anyone who comes to a place called next level university to learn how to reach your potential health, wealth, life and love I think that requires humility out of the gate, particularly because we're not as shiny as some of the other podcasts that are maybe at the top of the game, like School of Greatness, lewis Howes or something like that. So I think that learning from you and I requires humility in and of itself.

Kevin Palmieri

I would concur. I would concur. This would be my very, very, very early two, three minutes into the episode takeaway If you're trying to help someone who is not humble, it might end up, unfortunately, being a giant waste of your time and it might end up wrecking the relationship and it might end up making you the relationship and it might end up making you feel really, really bad about yourself. The I was on a on a call today. I was on a zoom call today with a podcast. It was about leadership and I said, when you have the right people on the team, I don't think it's. I won't say it's hard, leadership is not hard, because leadership is always hard. But I said if you have the right people on the team, leadership is possible. If you have the wrong people on the team, it doesn't really matter how good of a leader you are, it's not going to work. It's just not going to work.

Kevin Palmieri

And I said we've found that out. We've experienced that. We've been leading people and having the privilege of leading people for however many years now. I think it's the same thing when it comes to trying to help the people in your life. If you're the person because this was me, this felt like me in the beginning of this journey. I was the person who was learning and growing and doing self-improvement and trying to become self-aware and working on my habits and trying to work on my character and all that stuff. And there were certain people in my life who I was only allowed to talk to them so much about it, because we would get to a point where I could tell that they weren't humble enough to absorb anything I was saying so can you give us an anonymous example?

Alan Lazaros

oh man, like an actual story? Probably not, because even you and I just spent the last hour kind of contemplating and learning from each other yeah, but you and I have been doing that for a long time but a lot of people wouldn't consider me super humble, but yet I was very open to everything you had to say over the last hour. Yeah, well, I'm a genius, I had a lot of value to have.

Kevin Palmieri

No, I'm just kidding yeah, you, you, yeah, for sure. And we got to the end and I said, hey, can I ask you a question about something that I feel like I'm doing wrong? And you and I had a great dialogue about that. Right, the best example I could give and I don't mean this in a it's going to come off as a negative way. I don't mean in a negative way, but there was somebody in my life who I had been leading in the fitness arena for as long as I'd known this person and I'd known this person since high school.

Kevin Palmieri

And I remember I was hanging out with this person one day and they had a lot of weight issues. They were struggling up and down, super consistent for a while, not consistent at all, just all over the place. And I said I'm going to give you the answer. I'm going to. I will write down the answer for you on a piece of paper.

Kevin Palmieri

And the person looked at me and they said are you going to talk about tracking calories and macros? And I said yeah, and they said I don't want to do that and I essentially said in what world do I have to track macros and calories to get into the shape that I want to, but you don't have to, and you've said this before in different ways. You aspire to look more like me. I'm telling you exactly how I did it, and you don't have the humility to sit with that. You're gonna go look for another way or another shortcut or another. This is the way I used to be a personal trainer. I have certifications, I studied this, I've been doing this for a long time. There just wasn't a lot of humility and, unfortunately, that that person did not get the results that they they wanted now again, there's layers right.

Kevin Palmieri

Well, some people have different. They have adverse reactions to tracking calories and macros 100.

Alan Lazaros

I understand that, but this person was really quite desperate at that point for information and for changes and I will say at that point I was close to you and close to that person and there was some arrogance there of I want to do it my way and you and I used to say this all the time you can, there's the right way and there's the easy way. And I playfully say this emily and I have exercised. We're coming up on a thousand days. We actually last time it's march 1st 2022. I haven't checked in a while. I think we might actually be close to a thousand days of consistent exercise and I call it my want love hate framework. You want to be in great shape, you love exercise and you hate dieting. This is me talking to me. I do. I hate dieting. I finally started owning that. I can't stand it.

Kevin Palmieri

I absolutely fucking hate it, it sucks, it's not great, it's the worst.

Alan Lazaros

Emilia asked me what I want to do For my birthday this weekend. I don't want to do anything Except for I'm going to get Nikos.

Kevin Palmieri

Nikos. Shout out to Nikos, a local, yeah, broasted chicken.

Alan Lazaros

Full bucket, double broasted wedges, potatoes of Potatoes, of course. Potatoes, oh, unbelievable, and I'm so excited. It's going to be the greatest day ever. Stay in day, but anyways, I don't like dieting. I hate it so much.

Alan Lazaros

But here's the deal. I also know that if I don't track macros and calories, I don't get to be in as good a shape as when I did do that and when I was going into my fitness shows, the one that I won is when I didn't miss a calorie, when I didn't miss a macro. And so it is arrogant to think that you can get level 10 results without doing the top leverage points. And this, this person, was unintentionally a little bit arrogant and unfortunately they didn't. They wanted to believe that they were different or that they could do it their own way or with their own twist, when the science very clearly shows that that's the way.

Alan Lazaros

And so, ultimately, humility is not just I'm going to learn from Kevin Um Because he has results, I don't. Humility is I'm actually going to do the things that I don't want to do because I want the result bad enough, or I'm going to admit you know what. The result's not worth it to me, and I know I should be tracking macros and calories, but I'm going to decide not to do that. Sleep, hydration, nutrition, training, mobility, breathwork and supplementation I'm going to do all of them, except for diet, and see if I can still pull it off, but I know I'll never reach the level.

Kevin Palmieri

With diet right. You'll get some results.

Alan Lazaros

You just won't get all the results right because even when you do all the things, obviously.

Kevin Palmieri

But yeah, yeah, even when you do all the things, you don't get all the results exactly and I'm not deluding myself into thinking that that's not the most important thing, because it is.

Alan Lazaros

it is, and for those of you trying to help people out there who have low humility, that's that story that Kevin just shared. He could have had that conversation 50 more times Same conversation I did.

Kevin Palmieri

I had that conversation many times.

Alan Lazaros

With that person? How many?

Kevin Palmieri

times, I don't know.

Alan Lazaros

A handful.

Kevin Palmieri

Not dozens, but a handful five, six enough.

Alan Lazaros

So for anyone out there who feels like they're wasting constant time and effort trying to drag someone up a hill that they're saying externally they want help with but there's never any action behind that, and or they're dealing with someone who is maybe being unintentionally arrogant and all of us are guilty of that at some points, I always playfully joke. My first fitness show I came in arrogant and I lost. And then I came in super humble the second one and I stomped everybody. And then I got cocky and I lost my third one. And if I had done a fourth one, I bet you I would have won, because I would have came in humble enough to have a posing coach and a track-heavy macro and that kind of thing. So humility and hubris two polar opposites, right? Hubris is the downfall of every character in every film.

Kevin Palmieri

I didn't know what hubris was until like three months ago.

Alan Lazaros

We talk about Titanic on this show, kevin's favorite movie. I'm a huge fan. The captain got cocky lit all the boilers.

Kevin Palmieri

Fire it up. He says, let's go.

Alan Lazaros

Fire them all up Full steam ahead, full steam ahead. You know what will make it hard to see the icebergs Is you know the fact that the water's so calm?

Kevin Palmieri

And we all know how that ended. A couple of Titanic references in a row.

Alan Lazaros

NLU listener what is happening? I just wanted to jump in here and let you know if you want to get to the next level faster. We have a free virtual monthly meetup at the first Thursday of every month. You can connect with like-minded people and become a bigger part of this amazing global community. The link to register will be in the show notes.

Kevin Palmieri

It's. I had another, another really good friend, who used to call me anytime something went wrong. He would call me and sometimes he would call me crying. And I remember one time I spent a meaningful amount of time asking Alan for a list of books that would help this person. I remember reaching out to Alan and saying, hey, one of my buddies, somebody we knew, mutual friend, one of my buddies is going through this. What do you recommend? Alan's the book guy. Alan knows he's got the books and he never bought one of them, never bought one of the books. And I just remember I was so frustrated, I was like, dude, I'm trying to help you, I'm trying to help you, I'm trying to help you.

Kevin Palmieri

But again, this is the other thing too. There's always two sides of everything. Right, so it would be very easy for me to say, well, he just didn't want to change. Bad, whatever. There's a lot of things you can say. Was the pain great enough? Maybe not? Were the circumstances affecting him in a way that he didn't tell me? Very possibly. But at the end of the day, that's kind of one of the things that wrecked our friendship Is, I had a lot of the solutions that he wanted and he needed, but he never took them. He just never took the solutions, and that was always. It was always super hard and that's one of the reasons that friendship just ended up dying, because we that's what growing apart is when you, when you're growing apart. Okay, if, say, tara and I were to have a baby, I'm going to ask people who have already had babies how do I succeed at this A hundred percent? And here's the difference.

Alan Lazaros

Whether I agree with. You've got to read the baby books.

Kevin Palmieri

I've got to read the baby books. Of course, whether I agree with them or not, I am going to take in the information and try to find the value from it. Whether I agree with your parenting style or not, whether I agree with the way you've raised your children or not, there's something in there for me. Certainly. That is humility. That is humility, just like there's something for me in a podcast book I might read. Yeah, I know a lot about podcasts and I've done a lot of episodes, but other people have learned stuff that I don't know yet, because they've had experiences that I haven't had yet. What have you got? I have a story.

Kevin Palmieri

Please.

Alan Lazaros

So, emilia and I, we've been coaching couples for four years and coming up on four years and a lot of times not always, I know the women of this show will attest to this not always, but a lot of times the female will bring the male to the relationship, talks, coaching and usually.

Alan Lazaros

In a heterosexual relationship, talks coaching and in a heterosexual. In a heterosexual relationship, yes, in a heterosexual relationship, usually the female has higher humility and lower courage and usually the male has lower humility, usually statistically. In my small sample set and this is dozens of couples I had one guy and I coach the male, she coaches the female. We do a hybrid model. It's yeah, it's awesome. Actually it's really. I've learned so much Unbelievable Cause you just see common patterns like oh, got it, got it, got it.

Alan Lazaros

Okay, this is happening with everybody, it's not just me, so that's been tremendous. But there was this one guy, anonymously, just struggling to build self-belief, struggling to be consistent, struggling to show up for his partner, show up for himself, and so he asked, you know, for books, and of course I recommended the Compound Effect. It's by Darren Hardy. It's not because Darren is so great, it's because the concept of the compound effect is so great. Einstein called it the eighth wonder of the world. And he read it and he said I don't buy it. And I remember thinking, oh, you're in trouble. You don't buy small, seemingly insignificant positive choices and how those affect your life. You don't buy that. You're in trouble, your, your partner, who's doing all those little things every single day. I mean you, for years. You, you learned 20 minutes a day for years. What five years?

Kevin Palmieri

Still, that's all. That's what I track. 20 minutes a day for years. What five years? Still that's what I track 20 minutes a day.

Alan Lazaros

You asked me right before this what book, and I recommended three. I recommended three Jim Collins books. Kevin came to me to ask what books he should be reading. That's humility. I've read. I got asked on a show recently how many books I read per year and I, I think I I was like, oh no.

Alan Lazaros

I don't know probably 200, but like off and on right. So I'm listening to books every single day, books and or trainings every day, courses, but I do books over and over again anyways, doesn't matter. Look how many books I've read.

Kevin Palmieri

The point is, how many books do you have that are leather bound?

Alan Lazaros

many uh several several leather bound books in my apartment smells of rich mahogany. People know me but no, but seriously, that's an Anchorman reference, by the way, for anyone who probably doesn't know that movie.

Kevin Palmieri

Who was born in 2000.

Alan Lazaros

The opposite of humility is that movie thousand. The opposite of humility is that movie, yes. But when he said I don't buy it, I remember thinking, ah, that's, you're in trouble if you don't buy the power of small, seemingly insignificant changes over time. If kevin didn't buy the the value of books quote, unquote he if he didn't have the humility to come to me and read j Jim Collins has what I think are the best business books ever written and Kevin wants to build a business. Hmm, maybe, just maybe, he should consider checking those out.

Kevin Palmieri

Makes sense.

Alan Lazaros

I am so grateful. I mean we have a successful business. One of the reasons why is I am reading books constantly that are trying to find these little distinctions that would change our life. And I've taken courses. I've spent a lot of money on courses. I put my money and my time and effort where my mouth is with this. So I think I'm humble in action is what I used to call this Because a lot of people I come off very arrogant and with a lot of certainty, and I understand why.

Alan Lazaros

That is Because if you have high self-belief and not as high of humility, you'll come off arrogant, even though you might not be. And for me, externally, I think I come off arrogant sometimes and I understand why. But inwardly, I'm reading books every day. Why would someone who's arrogant read books every day? Why would someone who's arrogant take us, take a course called insane productivity 15 times? Why would someone track habits? Who's arrogant? When you're arrogant, you, you just free ball the day, you don't. You just think you're going to win. You know those people. You just think you're going to win?

Alan Lazaros

no matter what.

Kevin Palmieri

He hits it with a free ball.

Alan Lazaros

Yeah, but ultimately, for anyone out there watching or listening, if you've come across those people who constantly complain about challenges that they have, and I understand and you probably, like Kevin and I in the past me more than him are trying to help because you have pure intentions and that's great. I think Kev's been smarter than me at this. I think I've spent way more time and effort believing that it would work and I have a new rule and this is my new rule and I pass it to every listener or anyone watching and this takes courage to share because it's a little scary. I got asked at the end of a podcast where can people find you? And I say this. I actually say this.

Alan Lazaros

I say listen, if you're humble and grateful and you have work, ethic and grit and you want to earn your way to success and fulfillment, you're going to love me. You're going to love Kev. You're going to love Next Level University. We're a couple try-hards trying to improve ourselves and really work hard toward our goals and dreams and we want to earn it hard toward our goals and dreams and we want to earn it. I said listen, if you are entitled and ungrateful and you want huge rewards for minimal effort, you're not going to like us and please do not reach out. And I never had the courage to share that before. But the reason I say that is because the truth is I don't want to work with someone who doesn't have humility. If I could choose one mistake that I've made in my life, it would be trying to help people who have low humility, who were never actually going to implement what I shared anyway if there we've had a couple clients that I have fired and they have all lacked humility.

Kevin Palmieri

Yeah, that's, that is a, that is the theme, that is the pattern, that is that's. It's. That's one thing that you have to have if you're going to be in a relationship of any type. There has to be some level of humility. So the question that I would pose before we get out of here, before we let you go, is is there anywhere in your life right now where you are trying to help somebody but they are not humble enough to receive the value? Because there is. That's an experience for sure. The other thing, too, is you can't really.

Kevin Palmieri

Somebody asked me on a podcast what does it mean to add value? And I said whatever answer. And they said is there anybody you can't add value to? And I said yeah, if you don't know what the thing is, you can't add value in it. Potentially, if they're not open to you adding value, you can't add value.

Kevin Palmieri

Yeah, because by definition, you have to be open to somebody pouring into your life. If you shut the, if you're pouring something and you shut the glass, you put something over the glass, it just pours everywhere, it spills everywhere. I think it's the same thing. So step one is make sure that people in your life are actually open to whatever feedback you're giving them. All the stories that I use, the examples I use, are based on people asking me. I didn't go out of my way to say, hey, this is how I think, no, no, no. They asked me for help and I said, ah, I have an answer for that and I also have years of proof to back that up. This is what's worked for me, I think, based on the experiences and the things that haven't worked for you.

Alan Lazaros

Here's why let's try this how do you know when someone's not humble? Last question how do you know when someone's not humble? It's an energy, I think what's the quickest way to find out that someone lacks humility?

Outro

Kevin Palmieri

They have a defense for every piece of value you give. You can't ever be right. No matter what you say, there's always a but. If there's always a but, I would say that person's probably not super humble. Nice Blanket statement. But you put me under the clock. You put me on the shot clock so I had to All right. Next Level Nation Facebook group is called Next Level Nation. If you're looking for a group of like-minded humans into self-improvement, make sure you do that. Alan does free 30-minute breakthrough sessions with any of the NLU community, totally free, no strings attached. We'll have the link in the show notes. As always, we love you, we appreciate you, grateful for each and every one of you, and at NLU we don't have fans, we have family. We will talk to you all tomorrow. Stay Next Level Nation. Thanks for joining us for another episode of Next Level University. We love connecting with the Next Level family.

Alan Lazaros

We mean it when we say family. If you ever need anything, please reach out to us directly. Everything you need to get a hold of us is in the show notes.

Kevin Palmieri

Thank you again and we will talk to you tomorrow.

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Alan Lazaros

Host
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Kevin Palmieri

Host