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The Relationship Between Self-Acceptance And Self-Improvement (1886)

• Kevin Palmieri and Alan Lazaros

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In this insightful episode, Kevin and Alan dive into the complex yet essential balance between self-acceptance and self-improvement. They discuss how building self-acceptance is vital to a fulfilling self-improvement journey. This conversation challenges the notion that self-love means staying stagnant and offers a fresh perspective on growth. This conversation invites you to embrace self-acceptance and improvement with practical insights to help you find balance in everyday life. Tune in and take the next step toward becoming your best self!

Links mentioned:
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Free-30 Minute Coaching Call with Alan: https://bit.ly/4f3MSUz

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For more information, please check out our website at the link below. 👇

Website 💻  http://www.nextleveluniverse.com

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Alan@nextleveluniverse.com

LinkedIn ✍
Kevin: https://www.linkedin.com/in/kevin-palmieri-5b7736160/
Alan: https://www.linkedin.com/in/alanlazarosllc/

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Show notes:
(3:08) Self-acceptance Vs. Self-improvement
(8:17) Growth mindset in action
(9:03) Three types of self-love
(16:47) At NLU, we want you to win! So, we’re giving tools and resources to ensure your success. Join our Monthly Meet-up every first Thursday of the month at 5 PM. https://bit.ly/40IJYAu
(18:52) Public Vs. Private self-worth
(22:37) Virtue and personal alignment
(28:20) Self-love and growth
(30:57) Outro

Send a text to Kevin and Alan!

🎙️ Hosted by Kevin Palmieri and Alan Lazaros

Next Level University is a top-ranked daily podcast for dream chasers and self-improvement lovers. With over 2,100 episodes, we help you level up in life, love, health, and wealth one day at a time. Subscribe for real, honest, no-fluff growth every single day.

Kevin Palmieri

and I remember I was the brokest I'd ever been. We had zero suggestion of success. I was as lonely as you can possibly be, but I was the most proud of myself that I'd ever been. And that's when, for me, I think, the self-acceptance piece.

Alan Lazaros

You want to do this and you know you want to do it. Overcome this goddamn fear. It's your soul saying you can do better than this. That's why Matt was such a mirror it was. I knew I could do better than that. I might not look like him that dude is genetically gifted but I can definitely look better than the scraggly little thing I was. Seriously, man, it's not okay. A lot of people think that that's self-shaming. No, it's not.

Kevin Palmieri

No, that's being honest, welcome to Next Level University. I'm your host, kevin Palmieri, and I'm your co-host, alan Lazarus. At NLU, we believe in a heart-driven but no BS approach to holistic self-improvement for dream chasers.

Alan Lazaros

Our goal with every episode is to help you level up your life love health and wealth.

Kevin Palmieri

We bring you a new episode every single day on topics like confidence, self-belief, self-worth, self-awareness, relationships, boundaries, consistency habits and defining your own unique version of success.

Alan Lazaros

Self-improvement in your pocket, every day, from anywhere, completely free.

Kevin Palmieri

Welcome to Next Level University, Next Level Nation. Welcome back to another episode of Next Level University, where we help you level up your life, your love, your health and your wealth. Today for episode number 1,886. The relationship between self-acceptance and self-improvement. Nice, Thank you so much, and that's all we have. Have a wonderful day, a wonderful evening, wherever you are in the world. I hope it's a great place. I hope it's a great day. I hope it's a great moment. I hope it's a great life.

Alan Lazaros

We'll talk to you tomorrow.

Self-acceptance Vs. Self-improvement

Kevin Palmieri

What so? This idea came to me because I'm Alan and I have a lot of conversations behind the scenes and I think, at the end of the day, it's very important for Alan and I especially to understand that many people may not choose to practice self-improvement to the level and with the frequency that you and I do. This is quite literally our job, and the day we stop improving is the day we essentially stop being able to add more value. So I'm always thinking of if there's somebody out there who's really, really focused on self-improvement. Can you focus too much on self-improvement and not enough on self-acceptance of who you are? It's kind of the genius of the and the power of the, and you accept who you are and you understand that for most of you there are pieces that you could improve. So I thought it would be a cool discussion, maybe a hyper conscious episode, because I don't know.

Kevin Palmieri

I don't know what the right answer for you is. I would probably say, if you are somebody who really, really, really struggles with self-worth and self-love, going and practicing self-improvement will, but it may only help to the level that you practice self-acceptance first. And if you're somebody who has a ton of self-love and you already feel like you're somebody who's really good at self-acceptance, but you want to grow and you want to evolve and you have goals and you have dreams and you're ready to go on this journey, then you're probably going to want to dive pretty deep into self-improvement and then, I think, as you do the self-improvement, you'll have an opportunity to revisit self-acceptance and then same with self-acceptance and self-improvement. So what's your take on all that?

Alan Lazaros

The self-acceptance I never used to understand, and people would say terms like self-love and I didn't understand what they meant. And now I feel like I really do. I actually wrote an article about self-awareness, self-acceptance, these different things, and I think self-acceptance actually needs to come first because, no, actually, I think self-awareness needs to come first, because you need to be aware of something about yourself before you can consciously accept it, that kind of thing. So, for example, uh, strengths, weaknesses, good, bad, ugly, all of who you are three types of people. The first type of person is I'm not good enough, I'm not good enough. I'm not good enough until. Second type of person is I'm good enough exactly as I am and I don't have to change anything. Third person is I'm good enough and I accept who I am now and I also want to improve who who that is.

Alan Lazaros

And I think, unconsciously, when I was younger I might have been striving for an idealized version that might not have been in alignment with who I actually am. So what's a good example of this? I was really lanky and really skinny and I I grew like a foot in my junior year of high school. I basically hit puberty kind of, and I remember I grew a foot and I was the lankiest kid ever. And for a man, you do not want to be lanky. You do not want to be lanky. For any men out there listening who are lanky or have ever been lanky, there's nothing worse.

Kevin Palmieri

And Kev's like well, yeah, I would argue, being short is right, right, yeah, fair, Okay. And Kev's like well, I would argue, being short is worse, Right right, yeah, fair.

Alan Lazaros

Okay. For me, being lanky was the worst. People throw you around on the basketball court. You are not taken seriously. It's a whole thing, and that's why you know, when I bulked I bulked hard.

Alan Lazaros

Back when I started bodybuilding I was like I just want to get as fat as possible. No, I want to get as big as possible and I like being bigger. Kevin, you know, likes being leaner. But I don't think I really accepted the fact that I was lanky. I don't know if I accepted the cons with the pro.

Alan Lazaros

So, okay, I'm tall, I have long legs, I'm a good long distance runner. That's great. Those are good things. Okay, what comes with that? Well, you're an ectomorph. An ectomorph is a body type that's very tall and lanky and you have good cardiovascular health and you're pretty good at cross country and track and that kind of thing Decent. But the unfortunate downside to that is you're also skinny, super, super, super skinny. And I don't build muscle easily. I'm not naturally very strong. There was kids throwing shot, put you know, 40 feet or whatever. I don't know the actual amounts, but I could not throw that thing that far. I used to throw jab in high school and T Jakes and Kiki would outthrow me. They were stronger than I was and I had some pretty good form so I could keep up. But Kiki and I used to have a competition. Whoever won. In practice, the previous day would buy the next day's coffees, and I was mostly buying the coffees it's a nice little friendly competition.

Alan Lazaros

It was, it was fun and. But the point is, is that self-acceptance is okay? I am not very naturally. There's a dude in my gym who warms up with more than I can max. This dude is a freak of nature, athlete, jacked and not really that dialed in Probably doesn't hydrate that well. Based on the way he looks, doesn't seem like he takes it very serious. Dude doesn't warm up, comes in, starts hammering weights and I'm maxing out with his warmup and it's motivating as hell for me. So I love it, but I'm not very strong. So do you accept that about yourself? Now here's the deal. I have to accept that I'm not very strong, naturally, and I can still get stronger. I have to accept that I'm not going to win a strongman competition and I'm still going to work on building strength, and I think that that's what self-acceptance is, man, and self-acceptance is I'm not very strong, self-improvement is I'm going to get stronger.

Kevin Palmieri

Isn't that just having a growth mindset really? At the end of the day, you're willing to accept the realities of where you currently are and the opportunities of where you eventually could be. I think that's really a growth mindset. In a nutshell, this has always been the interesting thing for me, because I think there's a couple camps of self-love. There's maybe the I love myself, so I don't need to change. I think that's one camp, and I think the other camp is I love myself and I'm going to prove that I love myself, so I don't need to change. I think that's one camp, and I think the other camp is I love myself and I'm going to prove that I love myself by improving, and I think those are two, very, very I think one, I don't know.

Three types of self-love

Alan Lazaros

See, this is always where it's hard, because it depends on so many things you forgot about the camp of I'm going to pretend I love myself when in reality I can't stand the way I am. But I just don't believe I can change it.

Kevin Palmieri

That's fair, yeah, yeah. So three camps, three camps, that one, I think that's a self. You're talking about camping.

Alan Lazaros

We're out here camping.

Kevin Palmieri

We're out here camping. I'm not good at camping. Not a thing. No, absolutely not. Why, for what?

Alan Lazaros

reason.

Kevin Palmieri

I have everything I need here, why would I go somewhere where I don't have it?

Alan Lazaros

emilia and I are gonna go camping at some point soon. Well, you guys are weird as shit, definitely, and I love it for it camping.

Kevin Palmieri

Yeah, no pass, man. It's something. I have everything here. It's almost like why you just want to go somewhere where you don't have any of the things that you like. That make sense to me.

Alan Lazaros

You're funny no, it's not, it's being in nature. You reconnect into nature.

Kevin Palmieri

My window was open. I camped a lot as a kid.

Alan Lazaros

As a child, I was a camper. I used to whittle my own spears?

Kevin Palmieri

I never hunted anything with them? Well, no, I don't think. But that's the first step. You made the weapon.

Alan Lazaros

That's the first step.

Kevin Palmieri

I dated someone at one point and it was the wildest story ever of all time. The whole episode would go off the rails if we did that. But they lived in a camper for like two years and I lived with her kind of sort in the camper. It was one of the weirdest times in my life ever of all time and this person went through just so much stuff, but they ended up coming out on the other side and they're a genuinely amazing person. So stuff, but they ended up coming out on the other side and they're a genuinely amazing person Camping.

Kevin Palmieri

Okay, so three, three camps, three buckets We'll get off camping Three buckets what do you think? The prescription is Prescription. Prescription Is for each of those buckets. So somebody who I feel like the optimal bucket is I love myself so much that I want to pour into myself 100. But I also think that one is probably a hard because it's very easy to say well, I'm going to pour into myself because of lack versus. I'm going to pour into myself because of lack versus. I'm going to pour into myself because of love. Everything is very challenging.

Alan Lazaros

Everything's very complicated with this conversation Back when I was doing fitness modeling and fitness competitions, I remember people would always project onto me. They'd say you know, you don't have to be perfect, you don't have to worry about the fact that you don't have abs that are as ripped as they need to be. They would constantly say things like that. They would say oh, you know, you don't. That's never gonna make you happy. I remember someone told me you're never gonna be happy being in shape like that. I'm like yes, it it actually is amazing. I'm a huge fan. This is great. Now the tail end of the show prep is atrocious, but being in shape is the best thing ever. Best thing ever.

Kevin Palmieri

But it's not everything. It's not everything, but it's unbelievable.

Alan Lazaros

I mean, I love improving myself, but now I understand that they were in that bucket of you. Think that I don't like myself, so that's why I want to get better. No, no, no. I love myself already so much, in fact, that I want to be all of myself. I want to improve it. I want to get bigger and stronger and more capable and I want to feel like a million bucks every day. I remember I asked Kev, would you rather trade a million dollars or your body? And I think at one point you had said a million bucks, but at that point you were struggling, but ultimately, I'd still pick a million seriously, I can get the body back, you can get the million.

Kevin Palmieri

Yeah, I can get the body back faster than I could get the million, though for certain, I don't know, man, the amount of time and effort I put into getting that physique. I don't, I don't know. I mean, where do I go? Do I go back to 13-year-old Kev?

Alan Lazaros

Yeah, that's a whole other question, but ultimately this is a drive to five. You just said it. One end extreme is I secretly hate myself. So I'm going to pretend I actually love myself and that's all ego and really I don't believe in my ability to transform or change. I love myself so much, I accept myself fully. I don't really. I love myself so much I'm not even going to change anything. And then the middle of that is I love myself and there are things about myself that I want to improve.

Kevin Palmieri

Hold on. Is there a fourth where?

Alan Lazaros

I work.

Kevin Palmieri

Fourth camp, fourth bucket. I work so hard on myself because I want to love myself. But no matter how much work I do, I'll never love myself because I never started with actually loving myself.

Alan Lazaros

Yeah, probably, and ironically, until you do that long enough. I woke up from that bucket after my car accident and I think you kind of did too after suicidal ideation. That was what the quarter-life crisis ultimately was. It was listen, I think a lot of people they do. They have goals that they think will fulfill them because they don't actually love themselves.

Alan Lazaros

I tell the story about this man named Matt. I went to a party. I was a sophomore in college and we were in my hometown. I went to a party. I was a sophomore in college and we were in my hometown and we would every spring break or whatever vacation holidays, we would come back from college and we would all get together and party. And this dude was from Milford and another town and he was just jacked, good looking, had it going on. Dude was had the beautiful girl, he had everything, what seemed like everything right, and he was charismatic, funny, just the man. He's the man and I actually really liked him too. So it was like there was nothing that this dude wasn't and I just didn't feel very good about myself back then.

Alan Lazaros

I was at an engineering school and none of us worked out. We all played video games, we all were super smart, but that was kind of it, and I was not attractive to the female species very much at all compared to this guy. And I remember I was so insecure I had to like go take a minute. And then one of my best friends came over I've told this story before and said are you okay? And I said no. And I just was contemplating my existence and said are you okay? And I said no. And I just was contemplating my existence and what I was really doing was I don't love me. I don't really love this version of me. I really don't. I'm not happy. This is terrible. I I know that I can be better than this. I might not be able to be him, but I can be a way better version of this. And so I had to have that moment and I started lifting.

Alan Lazaros

After that, I quit drinking for three months. That was a big deal. And then, 10 years later, I talked to him at a wedding and he was blown away. He said I saw those fitness competitions, dude, oh my God. And at this point I was more jacked than he was, for sure.

Alan Lazaros

But and for any females listening, by the way, men care about that, even the ones who pretend they don't. It's just a thing, right. And he's like dude, I could never do that. And I said to myself oh my goodness, 10 years ago, brother, I, you were my hero, you were my freaking hero. You could easily, and you're still jacked. You could probably do it like in three months. I could teach you exactly, and you're still jacked. You could probably do it like in three months. I could teach you exactly how to do it.

At NLU, we want you to win! So, we're giving tools and resources to ensure your success. Join our Monthly Meet-up every first Thursday of the month at 5 PM.

Alan Lazaros

But he's smoking a cigar, drinking, drinking, and he doesn't care. And now I don't think he's in nearly as good a shape as he used to be. So he went downhill and that's so unfortunate. And I still like Matt a lot. So, matt, if you're ever going to listen, this is a different Matt than Kevin's Matt, by the way, but at the end of the day, all that matters here is I didn't love myself as letting it ride. I think that we don't love ourselves when we're not reaching our potential. I really believe that's true. I think that's a part of the human condition. I've seen no real exception. I do know some people who don't want to admit that. Nlu, listener, what is happening? I just wanted to jump in here and let you know if you want to get to the next level faster. We have a free virtual monthly meetup at the first thursday of every month. You can connect with like-minded people and become a bigger part of this amazing global community. The link to register will be in the show notes what are what from your perspective?

Kevin Palmieri

60 second answer, because I know you take this off the rails and I mean that with love, obviously, when you are thinking of loving yourself. What are the boxes?

Alan Lazaros

What are the boxes that you're checking? The first one is virtue. Do I love so NLU? Right, right, what am I proud of? So the first one's virtue am I. Am I the most virtuous man? And what does virtue mean? Uh, humility, courage vulnerability.

Kevin Palmieri

Yeah, do the right thing, yeah there's a reason.

Alan Lazaros

we all know who the villain is in every movie Because they're not virtuous. They're lying or cheating or stealing. They're shitheads. Really is what it comes down to. They're selfish shitheads, and that's what a villain is a selfish shithead, and we've all been there. We've all been a selfish shithead at some point, some more than others. Holy crap, but ultimately it comes down to virtue. At this point, holy crap, but ultimately it comes down to virtue. At this point, it's it's how virtuous am I? And and how much am I reaching my potential and how much am I contributing with that potential to other people's lives? How much am I making this world a better place? That's a good question to ask.

Public Vs. Private self-worth

Alan Lazaros

so it's three, three buckets yeah probably probably those three, but I can't be someone. I'm not. That's the thing I used to try to do when I wasn't as focused on actually loving myself. I say I'm an engineer. I actually had to learn to love that because for a long time that would disconnect me from other people. And now I am owning that more and loving that more and I would almost only love myself behind the scenes that's the best way to describe it.

Alan Lazaros

And that's why, when you first found out self-worth and self-belief, emilia helped you and I realize that self-worth and self-belief are different and she really illuminated how she thinks my self-worth isn't as high as it could be. And then I came to you in the studio and I said, kev, I think our self-worth might be low, you know, not having dads and all this stuff, and you're like dude, no chance. You have tons of self-worth. And now we realize that maybe not, maybe, maybe I do behind the scenes with you, but what's my self-worth when I'm around other people? And is it ego or is it self-worth or is it so? Anyways, but for you, what would? What would be? I wanted to ask you this at the beginning of the episode what do you think self-acceptance is? How does someone self-accept?

Kevin Palmieri

I think it's really hard to do it without self-belief, because I think the level of self-acceptance I have today is connected to the level of self-belief I have today and I think I have the most self-acceptance I ever have. But I also think I have the most self-belief I have today and I think I have the most self-acceptance I ever have, but I also think I have the most self-belief I ever have. I know that it's not. It's okay. It's okay for certain pieces of me not to be what I want them to be.

Alan Lazaros

When you were way back and you talked about how you had a model girlfriend in the best shape of your life just won. A fitness show made six figures without a college degree. For those of you who haven't heard Kevin's story, we did an episode a couple months back. With it. You were the most externally successful in all the things you thought. Would. Did you? What was? What were you feeling in terms of self-love back then?

Kevin Palmieri

I love the way I thought. I love the way I thought people thought I felt about myself. I didn't love me at all, zero. I love the fact that I thought people thought that I felt really good about myself. It was just the mask. I love the fact that people would look at me and think I was super happy, not because I didn't want them to be happy, but more.

Kevin Palmieri

Why do we do that? Because most people don't ever get close enough to find the truth, so it doesn't matter. Social media is a great example. Whether you're watching or listening, you most likely, if you follow a bunch of people that you've never met in listening, you most likely, if you follow a bunch of people that you've never met in person, you most likely will never meet 99.99999% of those people. Think about it you follow 5,000 people. How many of those people are you actually going to meet in person and have a conversation with? And if you, that's that. So it doesn't really matter. It doesn't seem to matter, but I think essentially, it's the thing that matters more than anything, the thing that really shifted for me.

Kevin Palmieri

I've told this story before and I tell this on other podcasts all the time, so I moved in with Matt the year after I made the most money and then I ended up leaving my job and at that time Matt was still working. He had a corporate job. Alan and I were doing this podcast thing, but it wasn't like it is today, obviously. We were doing one episode a week. The other days I stayed home and I did back office work or whatever. And I'll never forget he was gone for work one day and I was just walking around the kitchen and I remember I was the brokest I'd ever been there. We had zero suggestion of success. I was as lonely as you can possibly be, but I was the most proud of myself that I'd ever been. And that's when, for me, I think, the self-acceptance piece were you the most virtuous you'd ever been.

Alan Lazaros

I think virtue is a universal language. I don't think of it that way.

Kevin Palmieri

Virtue I don't know if virtue is the number one for me. Character is up there. Character is very important to me. Character and virtue are the same thing. Yeah, but I don't think it's number one. I don't think it's number one. I think self-acceptance, self-love is what's number one for you. I would probably say alignment.

Alan Lazaros

Nice yeah, when you're outside of alignment with your core values. It's so hard to love yourself.

Kevin Palmieri

It feels right.

Alan Lazaros

It's almost like when you are outside of alignment with your core values, are outside of alignment with your core values, or outside of alignment with your core aspirations, your goals, you aren't supposed to feel good about yourself. I'm convinced of this. I know I'm weird about this. That's why we don't feel good about ourselves, because that's our soul saying hey, alan, this is not aligned and you know it. Stop doing that stupid thing. Or, in Kevin's case, kevin, you want to do this and you know you want to do it. Overcome this goddamn fear. It's your soul saying you can do better than this. That's why Matt was such a mirror it was. I knew I could do better than that. I might not look like him that dude is genetically gifted but I can definitely look better than the scraggly little thing I was. Seriously, man, it's not okay. A lot of people think that that's self-shaming. No, it's not. I think it depends on your level of self-belief, though. Agreed, that's being honest.

Kevin Palmieri

Yeah, but you're not always ready to give yourself that level of honesty. Yeah, that's. I don't think there's a lot of people that would say if Alan and I walked in a bar, alan is always going to get more female attention than I am. I would say 99.9% of the time. I feel like that's a really hard understanding to get to. Like you're better looking than I am. That's like a. I feel like that's a line in the sand that people just don't want to cross. Once you admit that, you can't put that back in the bag.

Alan Lazaros

Do you think that people know that internally but they don't want to say it out loud Because there's a difference between courage with admitting to yourself, and then there's a second degree of courage, which is admitting to others.

Kevin Palmieri

I would say yeah, I think people know the hierarchy of things. They just don't want to say it out loud, but that's the level of self-acceptance I have I don't what are you gonna do? What are we gonna do here?

Alan Lazaros

but it hasn't always been that way there was a young man in the gym last night and I for the not the first time, but this was a really cool. I know we gotta jump. This was a really cool moment for me. He was, uh, very overweight and he was puffer fishing very hard because he's really insecure. And I understand, I completely understand. I'm not super insecure in my gym. I'm not insecure at all in my gym, except for when I'm around that guy I talked about earlier and even then not really, and it's just motivating for me. But I also know that's self-belief oriented. But I had a moment with this kid where he I don't want to say he treated me unkindly, but he was definitely like mean mugging me. I was feeling good, getting after it in the zone got my stringer on the ones that you showed me when you came and picked me up that time. I mean I got a couple of those. Those are great, they're cheap.

Kevin Palmieri

They're cheap and they're great. I like them because they're cheap.

Alan Lazaros

They're like eight bucks a pop and they make you look awesome. Yeah, they help, and I was feeling myself Emilia's looking good, we're getting after it, I'm in flow and that's my main focus in the gym is just getting flow, and I could tell he just there's a part of him that just kind of hates me a little bit and he's just mean mugging me. And I had this moment of you're just super insecure man, it's okay. It's okay. You just I'm glad you're here, it's awesome you.

Alan Lazaros

You got this, you can do this and I gave him a little love. I gave him a little love energy. The old me probably wouldn't have. It would have been just go move on, move on, go do your thing, get out of my energetic bubble. Like I'm here to go to war. I'm not. This is, this is my only me time. Just go move on. But he was, you know, walking on his tippy toes type of thing and kind of doing this. You know that dominant shit that men do. And I just gave him some love. Just move on, brother. You're. You're just so fucking insecure, but I'm glad you're here and and go work on yourself. You got this, but he doesn't self-accept. He probably doesn't self-accept.

Alan Lazaros

It's a hard thing to self-accept and Work and that's a big mirror. He's just outside his comfort zone. It's it's like he's protecting. That's a self-protection mechanism to puff up and pretend you're dominant when really you're deeply insecure. So I get it well. The weird.

Kevin Palmieri

The the weird thing is, if you went over there and gave him, gave him a little dap, dapped him up, he probably that would be the end of it. You guys would be best buds, probably.

Alan Lazaros

I remember I'll let you get a lot more mean mugging than you do I don't know that's true, I do, maybe not. Yeah, okay, depends, because if I dapped him up, he might be, he might hate me even more. I don't know I've never.

Kevin Palmieri

I don't doubt it. I doubt it. There's a kid at my. There's a kid that goes to my gym, where I'm gonna dap him up one of these days.

Alan Lazaros

All that means react differently to me, though, is that Is that fair? Yeah, but yeah, maybe, maybe.

Kevin Palmieri

He was gene mugging hard brother, you gotta give him daps.

Alan Lazaros

You gotta give him daps, that's how it is on a level. It's like I'm in there to work out. I don't want to be in buddies. You don't have to Hat down, let's rock and roll.

Self-love and growth

Kevin Palmieri

The old gym I used to go to I had a morning nemesis. We'd go at the same time and he'd always give me these shitty looks, right, always. And then one time he walked by me and I gave him a head nod and he started to reach for his headphone and he's like dude, you're jacked man Like you inspire me being here every day. Then we were best buds. I think in your head it it's like this oh, there's an honor, not this dude's gonna get it if he keeps looking at me that way and he's probably thinking the same thing.

Alan Lazaros

And then you have that moment and all it really is I'm sorry to interrupt you all it really is is he's just insecure and he's in an environment that he's way outside his comfort zone. So he has to self-protect. And that's what ego is. Ego is a self-protector. You either dim to protect yourself because you're too much for others and you're outnumbered, or you puff up because you're really insecure and you and you don't want anyone to think you're weak, because when you're weak and vulnerable, like if you're an injured animal in the woods, you better pretend you're not injured because you're about to get eaten and that that's still inside of us as human beings. And at the the end of the day, I just now that I understand how all that works inflate, deflate, omit. I just try really hard to stay as centered as possible and I sent him a little energetic love and then I kept getting after it. But ultimately, for the listeners to bring this back.

Alan Lazaros

Self-acceptance does not mean you don't work on yourself. If you self-accept and self-love, I think-love is. I always use this very last thing I love the condo we live in. I love it. It's so freaking nice. I'm so grateful now because of that. I try to take really good care of it now. I'm not project man, I don't you know, but I spend a lot of time making sure the condo stays nice. I do, and that's because I love it, and I spend a lot of time making sure that I take care of the asset. I make sure that I take care of me as well, to the best of my ability, and that's because I love myself and I don't think that it's an ego version. I think not loving yourself is where ego is actually developed deep talk today.

Kevin Palmieri

Deep talk for episode number, whatever it is 886, a very hyper conscious one that was the goal of it man.

Outro

Kevin Palmieri

I told alan. I said I want to do a hyper conscious one today. I want it to be deep, and this was very deep, all right. Next level nation if you are looking for a facebook group where we talk about all the things we talk about here and there's an opportunity to connect with amazing people who are also into self-improvement, we'll have the link below for Next Level Nation. If you are a listener and you are working on your goals and you're trying to be more successful and you need help reverse engineering your goals, alan is the guy for you. He is offering free 30-minute breakthrough sessions. We'll have the link in the show notes for that as well. As always, we love you, we appreciate you, grateful for each and every one of you, and at NLU we do not have fans, we have family. We will talk to you all tomorrow.

Alan Lazaros

Keep being your best selves. Next Level Nation.

Kevin Palmieri

Thanks for joining us for another episode of Next Level University. We love connecting with the Next Level family.

Alan Lazaros

We mean it when we say family. If you ever need anything, please reach out to us directly.

Kevin Palmieri

Everything you need to get a hold of us is in the show notes. Thank you again and we will talk to you tomorrow.

Head Shot

Alan Lazaros

Host
Head Shot

Kevin Palmieri

Host