Next Level University

What Do You Think Life Is Supposed To Be? (1890)

• Kevin Palmieri and Alan Lazaros

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Is life supposed to be easy, or is it meant to challenge us? Join Kevin and Alan as they explore what life and success genuinely mean. Through personal stories and practical advice, they reveal how accurate thinking, persistence, and finding mentors can help you grow—no matter where you start. Discover how to shift your mindset, embrace your unique path, and roll the dice again to create a better future. Whether striving for personal growth or seeking clarity in your goals, this episode provides a heartfelt and no-nonsense guide to leveling up. Don’t miss the chance to reflect and take action!

Links mentioned:
Next Level Nation: https://www.facebook.com/groups/459320958216700
Free-30 Minute Coaching Call with Alan: https://bit.ly/4f3MSUz

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NLU is not just a podcast; it’s a gateway to a wealth of resources designed to help you achieve your goals and dreams. From our Next Level Dreamliner to our Group Coaching, we offer a variety of tools and communities to support your personal development journey.

For more information, please check out our website at the link below. 👇

Website 💻  http://www.nextleveluniverse.com

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Any of these communities or resources are FREE to join and consume
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Next Level 5 To Thrive (free course) - ​​https://bit.ly/3xffver
Next Level U Book Club - https://bit.ly/3BQBYDr
Next Level Monthly Meet-up:  https://www.nextleveluniverse.com/monthly-meetups/

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We love connecting with you guys! Reach out on Instagram, Facebook, or via email. We’re here to support you in your personal and professional development journey.

Instagram 📷
Kevin: https://www.instagram.com/neverquitkid/
Alan: https://www.instagram.com/alazaros88/

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Kevin: https://www.facebook.com/kevin.palmieri.90/

Email 💬
Kevin@nextleveluniverse.com
Alan@nextleveluniverse.com

LinkedIn ✍
Kevin: https://www.linkedin.com/in/kevin-palmieri-5b7736160/
Alan: https://www.linkedin.com/in/alanlazarosllc/

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Show notes:
(1:25) Philosophical question
(2:59) What does it mean to be an existentialist?
(4:20) Why accurate thinking sets you free
(11:49) Rolling the dice
(18:19) Struggles and overcoming obstacles
(20:16) Meet like-minded people and jumpstart your journey to achieving your dreams while optimizing your life. Join Next Level Group Coaching. https://bit.ly/3Up1FkG
(28:35) The power of mentors and community in shaping success
(32:55) A grounded perspective
(39:59) Outro

Send a text to Kevin and Alan!

Kevin Palmieri:

or maybe you never get to somebody else's version of six, but your version of six has to be custom to you. My version of six is different than Alan's version of six. It's just it's not the same. Things are different. I can't expect to have the same life as Alan.

Alan Lazaros:

I'm not the same as Alan and I'm not willing to do the same things and I'm not willing to do things in the same way, I know one person I'm thinking of who will be a multi-millionaire for the rest of his life and he works one-tenth as hard as you and I, one-tenth as hard as you and I, and he will always be wealthy because he was born into a family with generational wealth. That is a thing, but that doesn't mean Kevin and I should work less and complain about that. We can do all we can with all we have.

Kevin Palmieri:

Welcome to Next Level University. I'm your host, kevin Palmieri, and I'm your co-host, alan Lazarus. At NLU, we believe in a heart-driven but no BS approach to holistic self-improvement for dream chasers.

Alan Lazaros:

Our goal with every episode is to help you level up your life love health and wealth.

Kevin Palmieri:

We bring you a new episode every single day on topics like confidence, self-belief, self-worth, self-awareness, relationships, boundaries, consistency, habits and defining your own unique version of success Self-improvement in your pocket every day, from anywhere, completely free.

Kevin Palmieri:

Welcome to Next Level University, next Level Nation. Welcome back to another episode of Next Level University where we help you level up your life, your love, your health and your wealth. Today for episode number 1890, get your. Today for episode number 1890, get your philosophical caps on what do you think life is supposed to be? Alan and I were talking and again we're always trying to think of really good episodes what are we going through, what are clients going through, what are people going through? What do we want to talk about? What do we think needs to be talked about, all that stuff. And Alan said he said, brother, do you think life is supposed to be easy or do you think life is supposed to be hard? And I said I don't think life is supposed to be anything.

Kevin Palmieri:

I think life is life and you? I think life is supposed to be just an experience. I don't know, how do you? You can't know. You can't know what it is. It is what you think it is or it isn't, or it is what you think it isn't. That's really all it is at the end of the day. So Alan's like dude, let's do an episode on that. And I was like let's do it. And now we're doing it.

Alan Lazaros:

Shout out All the listeners and viewers we're incredibly grateful for you to be on this journey with us. See this I was on a Relationship Talks coaching session recently.

Kevin Palmieri:

See this and oh, ace and Fudge mug. I'm showing my Ace and Fudge mug to the camera. I'm sorry for interrupting, all right.

Alan Lazaros:

That's all right. And I asked the female in the relationship. I said do you consider yourself an existentialist? And she said I don't think so. And I said do you know what an existentialist is? And she said yeah, someone who contemplates life. I said exactly, her partner is big time an existentialist. I'm talking big time, always contemplating the universe, why we're here, why he does what he does, why the government's set up the way it is, why we have to go to work, why do and don't like. Just why, why, why, why, why?

Alan Lazaros:

When I was a kid it was why emily and I we recently went to her mother's birthday and they had a big box of all her drawings and stuff as a kid. It's been fascinating all the letters that she wrote as a kid, all the different projects. It's been really cool. Report cards, all that stuff, uh. And she found letters that she wrote to her mom hey, zach, her older brother is breaking the rules. How come I have to follow the rules and Zach doesn't? And you don't punish him, but you do like she was calling out the BS and the, the, the stuff when she was a little kid and there's some other stuff in there.

Alan Lazaros:

That's just, oh, it's so obvious. You were an existentialist. No one else is thinking about that. At seven years old, she's contemplating the world and I realized we are such existentialists. Who asks that question Do you think life is supposed to be easy?

Alan Lazaros:

Some people just go through their day and that's okay. That's okay, but not on this podcast. You're here listening and watching and we're going deep, hyperconscious, acutely aware. What does it mean? Change the way you think, change the way you act, change the way you live, how the world works, but, more importantly, why it works that way. Deeper understanding Understanding Kev, understanding me, understanding podcasting, understanding the world, understanding everything we talk about is a deeper understanding of you, other people in the world, and when you learn about yourself, other people in the world, now you can make choices that are more in alignment with who you are, choices that are more in alignment with who you are, choices that are more in alignment with what's best, choices that are good for yourself, others and the world, and I just believe so deeply. It's called a worldview.

Alan Lazaros:

So there's something called CBT Cognitive Behavioral Therapy and the triad of CBT is behavior, thought and feelings. So your feelings create behaviors, your behaviors create your thoughts. Your create your feelings. It's sometimes it's feelings create thoughts. It goes both ways, so to speak. But the point of this is where are your thoughts coming from? What's the record playing? What is your world view? And the way cbt clinicians help their clients is through. The metaphor is putting on glasses. So if kev puts on rose-colored glasses, he's going to see everyone and everything better than they really are, which means what he's going to see? Everyone and everything inaccurately. We inflate, we deflate, we omit, we all lie to ourselves and to each other. And as we mature and grow older, they're called cognitive distortions. You basically see the world more accurately. Everyone can look back to when they were in high school. Kev, give me an example Something you thought in high school that was just inaccurate.

Kevin Palmieri:

It's pretty spot on. I was locked in. I've been dialed in since I was a wee toddler man. I haven't known about this shit since I came out.

Alan Lazaros:

Everything, man, give me one tangible that I thought about the world no, no, anything. That you thought that was inaccurate when you were a kid. It should not be that hard.

Kevin Palmieri:

Well, I think it's everything.

Alan Lazaros:

So it's like oh okay, Give me one example. You're in high school and you thought what?

Kevin Palmieri:

You thought being jacked, somebody, somebody saying, hey, what hurts? It's like everything hurts, all of it, everything.

Alan Lazaros:

You want everything. Everything hurts, okay. When you were a kid, you thought being jacked would get you love.

Kevin Palmieri:

It has, yeah, it's worked, though I mean that has worked in the past. No, it hasn't. It has, yeah, no it got you. Lust, lust, it didn't get you love. Well, if you can't differentiate between the two, they're the same thing, aren't they?

Alan Lazaros:

No, that means you're also inaccurate.

Kevin Palmieri:

I would say, I mean, yeah, but when I was a kid I wasn't really thinking that, man, money solves all your problems. Money solves all of your problems. Okay, the truth is, money does solve some of your problems. It doesn't solve all your problems.

Alan Lazaros:

There you go. There's a perfect example of a cognitive distortion, aka you think inaccurately. People say the truth will set you free. I say accurate thinking will set you free, and that's really all I'm trying to do. So what Kev? On this journey he was trying to be the person that he needed most at his darkest time Still Still is.

Alan Lazaros:

I'm trying to help people think more accurately, because I saw the world so much less accurately and therefore allowed people to stay in my life that I wish I hadn't, because I had such rose colored glasses. I wanted to believe that everyone was good and that no one was lying and no one manipulate. I've been manipulated, I've been bullied and I just I did. I wanted to see the best in people. I really did. I was like Mr See the best in people. I really did. I was like mr see the best in everyone. And it was so naive, dude and and it also came with a gift which I see the best in people, so I see their potential. I can see people's potential so well.

Alan Lazaros:

So, anyways, my point of this is thank you, listener or viewer, for being with us, because not a lot of people. The world would be a better place if there was more existentialists, if there was more people who contemplate their existence and who try to be better people every day. So you are in the minority, unfortunately, and I'm so proud of all of you and thank you for being on this journey with us, because I have to have the courage to say that because, honestly, some people really are on autopilot and they are walking through their life, and I am somewhat guilty of that as well, because, pre-car accident, there was a lot of things that I wasn't questioning, that I needed to be questioning. So here we are, let's question life, kev. Life isn't supposed to be hard, it isn't supposed to be easy. Life is what it is. What do you mean?

Kevin Palmieri:

Well, I didn't say it is what it is. You gotta be careful with that. That's, that's a, it is what it is. Usually you say after something happens and you're just like, yeah, it is what it is, whatever. Okay, what did you say? I said life isn't supposed to be anything. I don't, I don't believe that when you're born it's predestined that you become anything. I think, yeah, it ends up. It's just a, a, it's a game.

Kevin Palmieri:

I feel I've always thought that life is a game and we all start on different places on the board and we all get different rolls of the die. Some people roll a seven and they have a wealthy family. It's like, all right, cool, they rolled a seven and the next roll is different. Then something happens and they Did you roll a seven, no thing happens, and they roll a seven. No, definitely not. No, I think I probably rolled like a two, maybe two. I think six is usually the highest you can go on a die. So I'd say probably like a one, one out of six. I'd say, but probably a one, and then the next opportunity I got to roll a die, I probably rolled like a one again, and then I rolled a lot of ones.

Kevin Palmieri:

You know, I'm sorry, I just no. No, it's true, it's true, I rolled a lot of ones and then eventually I rolled like a three and then I rolled a five, but I kept trying. I think if we could break success into five things, I think it would be success, holistic success, not just achievement externally Self-belief, self-worth, attitude, competence community Influences, yeah, influences Community Community Nice.

Kevin Palmieri:

We've got to do an episode on that. That's fine, you can work on. I've already forgotten what they are, so I'll have to check after. It's how it goes. It's why I say it, and then it goes away self-belief, self-worth, yeah, attitude, yeah, competence, yeah community, community.

Kevin Palmieri:

Okay, those, those five. We'll put that down. Is it harder if you roll a one? Is it potentially harder to have self-belief and self-worth and attitude and competence and community? Yes, I'm not saying circumstantially, it's not harder, because I think that's bullshit. I think that Somebody asked me on a podcast one time. They said if there's somebody in a much less developed country right now listening to this podcast, do you believe they can be? Essentially it was can anybody achieve their dreams? And I said as much as I used to think so. It's way harder for certain people.

Alan Lazaros:

It depends on what the dream is.

Kevin Palmieri:

Yeah yeah, if you don't have internet connection and you live in a village somewhere, it's going to be way harder for you to start a podcast and grow. It's just. There are circumstances.

Alan Lazaros:

you're stacked against you more, however, and you still should try to better your situation.

Kevin Palmieri:

You should still try to better your situation.

Alan Lazaros:

I got in a rumble. Brene Brown, she uses the word rumble for any time there's a conflict in a relationship and I think rumble is a vulnerable place to be and I was on with a woman named Debra and we got in a rumble because she I thought some of the things she was saying was inaccurate. And I think saying things that are inaccurate I now associate with being irresponsible, because of my deep belief that accurate thinking would help us all. I use the self-driving car. If the car thinks there's a road there, it's actually a cliff. People are going to drive off a cliff and then, you know, then blame themselves or blame the world, and when, in reality and it's just inaccurate thinking, you just didn't know.

Alan Lazaros:

And unfortunately in this game of life, for lack of better phrasing, it's an infinite game, not a finite game. It's finite games within an infinite game, which I'll get into. But I essentially said to her I just don't believe that that's accurate. I'm not trying to be unkind and this was really hard for me because it's her show and I'm not trying to be unkind, I'm just want to add value, but I don't actually think that's accurate. I don't think everyone is going to achieve that level and she said well, what do you mean? I said, well, we all are given certain potential. I said I would. I've been on podcasts with podcasters who I know could not reach the level that Kevin can, just because they don't have the competence, they don't have the genetic potential. Even when you were a kid, you were probably a strong communicator compared to the statistical norm. When have you ever not gotten along with people? Your whole life?

Kevin Palmieri:

you've gotten along with people perfectly well, well, one of the best ways to get along with people is just not to say anything. That doesn't mean you're a strong communicator.

Alan Lazaros:

I'm a good listener. You rallied an entire jury against me, Alan. It wasn't hard.

Kevin Palmieri:

You weren't very likable, it wasn't hard. It's not like I was some leader, it's just like, hey, you were a leader, though. Hey, hey, what do you think? Fuck this guy, right? Yeah, okay, cool.

Alan Lazaros:

Nice Guilty, I'm telling you, your perception of self is off on that. You, even in the early days of podcasting, were more gifted at communication than most people, even at the beginning. Well, I appreciate that I appreciate that.

Kevin Palmieri:

I don't recognize it because I didn't know what I was doing and I just was talking into a mic and it was like this is fun. That was it. For me it was this is cool.

Alan Lazaros:

Most people who are gifted in a certain area don't recognize it because they think nothing of it. You and your in bodybuilding, you thought nothing of it, you were just jacked, you didn't even try that hard.

Kevin Palmieri:

I mean you did, you worked hard, you worked hard. He always tries to lessen it. No, I don't, I don't. He's always like Kev.

Alan Lazaros:

Kev, I'm certain I was more dialed in than you and you were more jacked than me. I'm certain it wasn't close how much effort I put in versus you. I had the whole formula. You just had lift heavy, eat lots of food and, yeah, I know it was more than that. But okay, fair, the point is is that you people who have gifts don't recognize the value of those gifts because they've always had them.

Alan Lazaros:

I was on a podcast yesterday, said I really wish that, and he was very honest. I appreciated this. He said I really wish that someone like me, my ideas and stuff. I feel like some of them would have worked if I was better looking like you and the old me would have said no, no, like no, that's true, that's fair. It would be different. Now, can you hide behind that as an excuse? Right, listen, some of us are good looking, some of us aren't. Some of us are tall, some of us are short.

Alan Lazaros:

I like to use dogs as a metaphor. We're all they're all dogs, but there's 240 species or whatever. We're all different types of human beings. If you don't think that's true, go swim with michael phelps or go play basketball with lebron james. It's not going to be close. It never could be, no matter how hard you try. However, your worldview can be positive. You can take a hard rolling of a one, rolling of a one, rolling of a one, rolling of a one, and you can make it a two and roll a two and roll a two and roll a two and then roll a three and roll a three, but you can't get taller. You can't become a math genius just because you try real hard. I went to college with math geniuses.

Alan Lazaros:

I'm telling you there's some people who are just built different and they're working at Apple right now and that's okay and honestly, there's things that you are world-class compared to them. I mean, they are children. They can't change a tire to save their life, and I understand, neither can I. I actually did change my own tire.

Alan Lazaros:

But the point is is not everyone gets everything and some of us get more than others, not only in potential, but also in terms of upbringing. Some people's upbringing were born with a last name that had generational wealth. Some people do are born with generational wealth. I know one person I'm thinking of who will be a multimillionaire for the rest of his life and he works one-tenth as hard as you and I One-tenth as hard as you and I, and he will always be wealthy because he was born into a family with generational wealth. That is a thing, but that doesn't mean Kevin and I should work less and complain about that. We can do all we can with all we have, and we have many blessings. Blessings is the wrong word. We have many things to be grateful for and we have many, many, many things to not that were lesser than optimal.

Kevin Palmieri:

I would say that's accurate. Both of those are accurate. I rolled a couple ones in my day Same, but I think that's the thing. That is what happens, is you start. When you start, you don't get to roll the first one. That's the hard thing that first one's rolled for you.

Alan Lazaros:

Where your parents are, where you're born.

Kevin Palmieri:

Yeah, what are you born into? You have zero control over that. Then from there I think it's really easy to say well, yeah, I rolled a one, so that's it. It's almost like the die I roll only has ones and twos on it, so I don't know, it's not even worth rolling anymore. I just don't think that's true. I don't think that's true. It took me a long time to achieve any level of external success. It took me 25 years and I guess in the grand scheme of things that's not a super long time. But trust me, I thought I was Jeffed. I thought I was so Jeffed. I know it's funny when I tell the stories and Alan always laughs because it is funny.

Alan Lazaros:

But it wasn't funny at the time.

Kevin Palmieri:

I was terrified. I was terrified. So I was working at a gas station, full-time training to be a professional fighter. I used to have customers that would come in that made fun of me. They're like Kev, there's no way that's going to work. I'm like dude, fuck you. First of all, why are you going to crap on my dreams, man?

Alan Lazaros:

And also get out of the car, yeah get out of the car.

Kevin Palmieri:

Let's see, Let me test my skills on you. I'm like dude, why that's what you do? You come down to the gas station at 7 in the morning to crap on the guy who has dreams like what's that about makes them feel big, my friend?

Kevin Palmieri:

well, hey, this is what I say now, see at the top, son, I'll see at the top I. I was studying to be a personal trainer because, like I'm love fitness, martial arts, if I could train people that'd be the best. I, out of courtesy, tell my boss one day hey, this won't be for a couple months, but I just want to give you a heads up. I'm studying to take the personal trainer exam, so I'll be looking for new jobs. I got to call it 5.15 the next day. Don't bother coming in, you're fired. Huh, that backfired. Is that? Even I don't think that's legal. Is that legal? Can you do that?

Kevin Palmieri:

Well, do whatever you want back then, then man pretty much so then I am now, however, I'm so sorry you're good man.

Alan Lazaros:

It's only funny because of where he ended up. Yeah, you know, it's fair. I don't know how old I was I really gotta.

Kevin Palmieri:

I have to like make a flow chart of my life, needed a job. I have, no, no experience in anything, so I go to.

Alan Lazaros:

I go to the hospital because there's a job, fisherman, though you are an avid fisherman though I wasn't as avid at the time, no, I was.

Kevin Palmieri:

That was probably in the depths of my fishing days. I go to the hospital because there's an opening for a project person slash housekeeper. I'm like, hey, I like working with my hands. What does it entail? Unfortunately, the only shift we have is overnight, but it does pay $1.50 more an hour. I'm in, let's do it. Next level nation. What is happening?

Kevin Palmieri:

If you've thought to yourself, I want to try coaching, but you don't really know where to start, group coaching would be a wonderful place for you. That's really why we created it in the first place. We start a new round every 90 days. So if you're hearing this, go to the website nextleveluniversecom, and we have the landing page where you can actually hold your spot right now. Even if there's a group going on right now, you can still lock your spot for the next one. The biggest thing that we've seen is, as we get closer and closer to the date, unfortunately, some people end up missing. The group fills up and they can't do it, and then they end up regretting that. So please head over to the website. The link will be in the show notes, and we would love to see you there. So then I start working overnights and it's just brutal. It's just brutal. I have no social life. I'm staying up for days on end.

Alan Lazaros:

Here, take us back to where you were mentally and emotionally there, Like really.

Kevin Palmieri:

Let's go there for a minute. I felt like such a loser. All my friends were at college partying all the time and I was. Yeah, I felt like such a loser. I had no idea where I was gonna go. It's like I was just jumping from thing to thing. I felt so directionless. I felt like every I. This is this is why I like the die analogy. I felt like every time I rolled, I rolled a one. Every time it was a one. There was only ones available, like where am I going to work? I remember one of my buddies worked at a Raytheon a big, a big company and he's like dude, I can try to get you in. There are positions. It's like dude, they're not going to hire me, no way, I have nothing to offer on paper. I work really hard, I'll outwork anybody, but they don't know that. Everybody says that Right. So yeah, it was that. I just am stuck man.

Alan Lazaros:

I'm stuck, I'm in trouble. I just keep thinking about well, you are an avid fisherman, so I wasn't having fishermen come to find out.

Kevin Palmieri:

Nobody cares when you put that on your resume, it doesn't help it doesn't help. Then after the, then after the hospital, I did the personal trainer thing. I quit that after six months and paid a thousand dollars to get out of my contract because it was freaking terrible.

Alan Lazaros:

You just felt trapped as hell, like you didn't feel like you had a bright future.

Kevin Palmieri:

I felt out of control. It was I'm living life based on circumstance, not choice. Things happen to me and then I have to just deal with it, as opposed to saying I want this, what would you?

Alan Lazaros:

say to Kev I wanted, if you were, you're you're the mentor of kev what would you tell him? Because the truth is he wasn't as trapped as he thought. However, he was definitely not exactly a golden ticket, right.

Kevin Palmieri:

So I think there's there's two frames, there's one. One frame is dude, you gotta stop. You gotta stop feeling sorry for yourself. Like, come on, you gotta stop feeling sorry for yourself, because if you come on, you've got to stop feeling sorry for yourself, because if you feel sorry for yourself forever, you're just going to find ways to stay feeling sorry for yourself. That would be one. That would be the hard little gentle kick in the ass. Come on, kev, you're better than this. You're better than this. That would be one. The second one would be Hmm, yeah, we've got to do something to shift the tide here.

Alan Lazaros:

Mentor. You need a mentor.

Kevin Palmieri:

Well, I would mentor him. I just don't know what I would say to him.

Alan Lazaros:

No, no, no. I mean, I think he needed a mentor. You just always needed a mentor.

Kevin Palmieri:

I don't think he knew what a mentor was.

Alan Lazaros:

Yeah, we don't talk about that anymore. It's hard to know you need a mentor when you don't know what you want to do. I don't talk about this enough because I don't know why we're going back to certain fundamentals that we used to talk about at the Hyperconscious Podcast, because I feel like we were on to some things back then that now we can bring back into the fold. One of the reasons because, statistically speaking, lose lose your dad, it to stepfather leaves at 14, kind of lost three families by the time you're 14 years old, I mean, they're literally free lunch at school because we're so broke. There was no family wealth. No, my real last name isn't even Lazarus. And then just all the, all the stuff. One of the things that I never lost self-belief always had a, for some reason, a big, bright future in my mind only in my mind, by the way, because nothing in my present was there were, I mean, just atrocities. And one of the things that did really help when I was with the WPI kids yesterday is, if we look hanging out, we were on a zoom meeting. I remember thinking going to WPI was the best decision I ever made. It got me out of the small-minded town and I was exposed to a global group of individuals that were from all over the world and they were all freaking, super smart and they came from walks of life that were different. I mean a lot of my friends from college they were rich kids, man. I mean, I was the only one who, like couldn't afford. They all have cars. They can like go out to eat, I like can't go. I never talk about this. I was like really broke in high school and college. I'm talking really broke, but yet we found a way. I think we found a way to not make it. Maybe I hid it or something, I don't know. Maybe I made it seem like we weren't, because we had a nice home but we didn't know how to keep the home and the family, and so one of the things that really helped tremendously was just I did.

Alan Lazaros:

I don't know if mentors found me or if I found them or if it was both, but I always had, like, stephen Bittar. I've never talked about Stephen Bittar. He was a professor, my electrical engineering professor, stephen Bittar, he would mentor me and he would talk to me about life, and I think I was curious. I was on a podcast yesterday where Cameron he said, I'm perpetually fascinated by and I think about that. It's like that's a really great quote. A great quote perpetually fascinated by. I am perpetually fascinated by life. I learned all about history from him yesterday the, the aristocracy, all this kind of stuff. I'm just sitting there listening because I'm fascinated, and we talked about more than that. But I always had mentors.

Alan Lazaros:

I actually don't think many of them were very good, to be completely honest, I'm not trying to be a dick, I just in. In hindsight it's like oh, you didn't really understand what you were talking about. I remember I emailed one of my best friend's fathers. I emailed him Me. What am I? 18, 17, something like that. I'm like, hey, this is Alan, I'm considering my career path and I I'm wondering if you think I should go get my MBA right out of college or if you think I should go to work first and then go back and get it. Dude, I never should have been emailing him. He didn't know.

Kevin Palmieri:

In hindsight, he definitely didn't know he told me to go to work. It's all I had.

Alan Lazaros:

So that's one of the things that I guess will. I'm very passionate about this, obviously. Are you doing all you can with all you have? Dude, genetically, my mind, brain potential, it's there. I rolled a six. I know that. Nature and nurture Okay, nature is what you're born with in terms of your physical, mental, emotional, spiritual capacity. Some people are mentally challenged I don't know what the politically correct term is. They are not born the same. We are not born the same. Okay, we all have different genetic potential. Nature I rolled a six. Baby. I rolled a six. Good for you. Nurture I rolled a negative six and somehow I made a negative six into, like this amazing life that we have, and I'm fascinated perpetually by how the hell we did that, and one of the ways we did that is mentors, even though they were sucky. So start where you are, and sucky is relative to what we do for people now.

Kevin Palmieri:

A negative six. If the person's a negative two, it's a plus four so exactly it's it's context yeah, so mentors are very important.

Alan Lazaros:

When you got a mentor dude, you started to flourish well, I told you about one of my early mentors.

Kevin Palmieri:

I was 13 years of age at the time, played in a local baseball tournament, didn't win, came in second damn, but was still rewarded with a six-pack, a bud heavy, tall boys and the latest issue of Girls Gone Wild on DVD. How old were you? 13,? I think 13 or 14,. I think Young, too young. Hey, that's poor mentor. 14 or 15. I won't say it wasn't 13., 14 or hey, that's poor mentor. 14 or 15. I won't say it wasn't 13., 14 or 15. That's a poor mentor. I didn't have my license. I know that. Yeah, yeah, probably 14. It wasn't great.

Alan Lazaros:

Can you imagine, you and I with a 13-year-old? I was with 19, 18, and 20 yesterday. Hey, congratulations. A six-pack, a tall boy, bud heavy with a porno video Light porn.

Kevin Palmieri:

Light porn light porn.

Alan Lazaros:

Brother.

Kevin Palmieri:

At least it was a six and not a 12. What's your name? You know what I'm saying? Yeah, reckless for sure. At the time it was like hell yes, this is the absolute best, this is going to be the best night ever. And then my buddy went to pull out the DVD and he snapped it in half and I almost beat. Oh how dare you, sir, Gentle with it. What are you doing? You just wrecked the whole night, Can't? We came in second. We didn't even win the championship, you just broke the DVD man.

Alan Lazaros:

That is one of the funniest stories of all time.

Kevin Palmieri:

You broke your heart when he broke that DVD. It was like this is all I have.

Alan Lazaros:

I know some of my clients and team members are laughing their ass off right now. It was great.

Kevin Palmieri:

That is. I was so excited.

Alan Lazaros:

That is devastating news when you're 13,. That is Kiki, and I found a magazine in the woods. We hid it under a stump and we used to have to go out. That's so funny, man.

Kevin Palmieri:

What we used to have to go out. That's so funny, man. What a weird time to be alive your kids these days, that's so weird.

Alan Lazaros:

Yeah, if you have a phone, you're good. You're good. Yeah, we had to hide magazines in the woods. The neighbor's dog grabbed it. I got in trouble for that yeah, neighbor's dog got it, ripped it up, put it all over their yard.

Kevin Palmieri:

Oh my God, yeah, snitch. I used to download it on Kaza back in the day. Kaza was virus.

Alan Lazaros:

Come up here, mom.

Kevin Palmieri:

I'm downloading the new Lifehouse CD.

Alan Lazaros:

This has gone off the rails, of course.

Kevin Palmieri:

I don't know. What is life supposed to be? Life's supposed to be anything. What's art supposed to be? Nothing? It's supposed to be what you make it. What's music supposed to be? It's supposed to be anything. What's art supposed to be? Nothing? It's supposed to be what you make it. What's music supposed to be? It's supposed to be what you make it. I think things are supposed to be what you make it. The problem is, if you make it in a way that you don't want it to be, you assume it's not right. And maybe it's not right based on where you want to go, but it's not.

Kevin Palmieri:

You have a lot more control over your life than you think you do, but it probably requires and I'm not going to say the five things that we said are the things I don't know. That was just off the cuff, but if you have self-belief, you're more capable than someone who doesn't In certain ways. If you have self-worth, you're more capable in ways than someone who doesn't. You can set boundaries better, whatever. If you have competence. If you're a good speaker, you're more likely to succeed at something that requires speaking. If you have a positive attitude, that goes. Most of the jobs I've gotten is because I had a good attitude.

Alan Lazaros:

Yeah, and work ethic A good attitude and work ethic that's what every business owner is looking for 100% A good attitude and work ethic.

Kevin Palmieri:

We can work with that. I know that now. At the time I didn't. And then community If you have people around you that want you to do good and they want to see you do good, and you have all those other things, who knows? I literally go out of my way to help people that are good people. I go out of my way to help people that are good people. I go out of my way not to help people that aren't good people. I'm not interested in helping you. I don't go find someone else. I'd rather help someone who's good for the world 100%. So that's another thing too. But yeah, if you roll a 1, if a 1 was rolled for you, you can roll again.

Kevin Palmieri:

Now, are you going to go from a 1 to a 6? Maybe not, maybe not, but you can go from a 1 to a 2. You know, 2 to a 3, 3 to a 4, and maybe you don't ever get to 6, or maybe you never get to somebody else's version of 6, but your version of six, but your version of six has to be custom to you. My, my version of six is different than alan's version of six. It's just, it's not the same. It things are different. I can't expect to have the same life as alan. I'm not the same as alan and I'm not willing to do the same things and I'm not willing to do things in the same way, and there's just so many things that go into it. So, on a very hyper conscious episode, today it's fire.

Alan Lazaros:

I absolutely loved it. So I'm in a very hyper-conscious episode today. It's fire. I absolutely loved it. My main takeaway is find a mentor who leads by example and has.

Alan Lazaros:

It takes a lot of humility to get a mentor, but there are people out there. I think it's hard to lecture people into success. I think lectures are a part of it, studying is a part of it, books are a part of it. This podcast is a part of it. But get a coach or a mentor, get someone who can guide you. Get someone who can tell you what they wish. I coach a 24-year-old. I was a mess at 24. This dude is crushing it. He's going to crush it. Mark my words. I said mathematically. You know who you are Mathematically, in 10 years you're going to be. He already has 100,000 YouTube views. You're're not. He does three shorts a day, personally edited himself, publishes them, unbelievable tracks, metrics, habits. You're gonna be amazing if you, if, if you can stick with it, you're gonna be unbelievably successful mathematically speaking, and we'll keep tweaking and along the way. So get a mentor. You need a good mentor, everybody needs a good mentor seriously, and make sure it's someone who leads by example, who's not full of shit to the last episode.

Kevin Palmieri:

Well, when that person gets to 150,000 on YouTube, I'll come up. We'll come out to where you are. I'll bring a six-pack tall boys. And the latest, the latest Girls are wild. Yeah, the latest, I'm on my way. I'm on, send me the address. That's always yeah, that's always super funny. To me. It's interesting. The stuff at the time that seems like the coolest stuff ever is probably the stuff that's most misleading. Yeah, you know, that's like that was the.

Alan Lazaros:

We gotta start telling more of those stories, man. Those are important provides context dude.

Alan Lazaros:

Very last thing I promised I was on with the 19-year-old, 20-year-old and 18-year-old. I remember thinking to myself you guys, they don't know, you guys are going to be fine. The whole world needs engineers. You guys are going to be fine. I just wanted to sit them down and go. Keep doing what you're doing. Keep getting a little better each day. Don't fail out of school. Get your degree at this school. Get your degree at this school. You guys are going to be fine. I wanted to say listen, all my friends from college are on their way to multimillionaire.

Alan Lazaros:

Most of them already are multimillionaires, you guys are going to be fine, but they don't know that at all. They're so, they're still, and they're very humble. I appreciate it. They're insecure and humble. It's like part of me just wants to say, like, listen to NLU each day. It's like part of me just wants to say listen to NLU each day.

Kevin Palmieri:

We will guide you. I did say check out the podcast, I just don't want to overdo it.

Alan Lazaros:

I don't want to overdo it, because I tend to freak people out and scare them away.

Kevin Palmieri:

When in reality, if they just listen, to this podcast.

Alan Lazaros:

Yeah, come with me if you want to live.

Kevin Palmieri:

What is?

Alan Lazaros:

that from.

Kevin Palmieri:

Terminator.

Alan Lazaros:

Terminator yeah, Come with me if you want to Be aligned and fulfilled and successful.

Kevin Palmieri:

I enjoyed this episode Same. Was there any value? You think in it, definitely. You think Maybe there was a lesson in it.

Alan Lazaros:

I think Little Alan and Little Kevin Would have really Done a good job had we had NLU.

Kevin Palmieri:

I see I don't, oh yeah, if we had NLU. Yeah, I don't. Oh yeah, if we had NLU. Yeah, yeah, I don't know, man, who knows, I look back on my past a lot differently than you look back on yours. I don't know if anything would have saved me. I think I had to do it the way I did it. I think I had to the right mentor would have.

Alan Lazaros:

For sure, I don.

Kevin Palmieri:

I told them to pound sand. Let me live my life, let me, live, my life. Yeah, but it was, I'd already lived my life.

Alan Lazaros:

No, you hit rock bottom and actually had that.

Kevin Palmieri:

Yeah well, some people call that living life. I lived my life.

Alan Lazaros:

You got everything you thought you wanted.

Kevin Palmieri:

Exactly exactly, and I don't. Nobody could have ever told me that I didn't want that. Good luck, oh. Want that? Good luck, oh. So you don't think I want my dream body, a six-figure income and a model girlfriend and a sports car. Okay, why, though, don't I want those things? Isn't that what everybody wants? And then you go get it and you realize, ah, some very, very awesome benefits, awesome. But there are also missing pieces that you think are going to get filled in that don't get filled in along the way. That's another episode. It is another episode.

Kevin Palmieri:

All right, next up a nation, if you are looking for a group of like-minded humans, are into this type of stuff. Deep talks, a little philosophy occasionally, but self-improvement that is really the core of what we do. That is what we are obsessed with, and the reason we do an episode every day is because we, alan and I, want to lead by example, and if we tell you there's an opportunity to get a little bit better every day, we better be leading the charge on that. So that's why we do an episode every day, but there's a private Facebook group called Next Level Nation. We'll have the link in the show notes. Love to have you there if you're looking for community.

Alan Lazaros:

If anyone is looking for a coach or a mentor, I've been mentoring for 10 years. The first two was free and then the last eight was coaching. And if you're looking for mentor, coach, guide, whatever you want to label it, that's what my coaching is. It's here's where you want to go. I'm going to help you align to get there, to be both successful and fulfilled. Reach out. I actually just booked I just saw one come through with my man, cameron, and 30 minutes for free breakthrough session and it usually goes over.

Kevin Palmieri:

Pretty much everything yeah, Pretty much everything that you do goes over Overdeliver. Right now we're late for a meeting. Right now we are 36 minutes late to the meeting we were supposed to have.

Alan Lazaros:

However, I have been wondering if you knew. However, we did message the person in advance.

Kevin Palmieri:

No, I knew that Like responsible individuals, yeah no, I knew that.

Alan Lazaros:

Yes, okay, I want to make that.

Kevin Palmieri:

I'm going to hang you out to dry. This person has no idea. They're probably in the waiting room. They're in the waiting room.

Kevin Palmieri:

I haven't been, I haven't missed a coaching session in a year and a half it's a big deal well, I don't coach with you, so all the meetings that I'm on with you don't fall under that category. I know but coaching is my number one priority, so if anyone wants to coach conveniently, I will be up at night trying to help you be successful that is fair. I'll be thinking about it. I'll be thinking about it. I'll be your success. Strange hours hey brother, you need to read this. You need to go to sleep, that's what you need to do.

Alan Lazaros:

I thought you were going to go another way with that.

Kevin Palmieri:

I was close and then I was like I feel like I don't want to be disrespectful, I don't want people to think I don't like you want to hang for a bit. You want to go. No, I think we should go. Okay, we're going to go.

Alan Lazaros:

I want to go now. You want to hang. You say you want to hang for a bit.

Kevin Palmieri:

No, I don't. Oh, you want to go? Okay, here we go, we're going to go. Here's the outro. As always, we love you.

Alan Lazaros:

We appreciate you, grateful for each and every one of.

Kevin Palmieri:

Thanks for joining us for another episode of Next Level University. We love connecting with the Next Level family.

Alan Lazaros:

We mean it when we say family. If you ever need anything, please reach out to us directly. Everything you need to get a hold of us is in the show notes.

Kevin Palmieri:

Thank you.

People on this episode

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Alan Lazaros

Host
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Kevin Palmieri

Host