Next Level University

Are You Asking Yourself The Wrong Questions? (1893)

• Kevin Palmieri and Alan Lazaros

Share episode

Use Left/Right to seek, Home/End to jump to start or end. Hold shift to jump forward or backward.

0:00 | 35:15

What’s the one question that could change everything? In today’s episode, Kevin and Alan reveal how asking the right questions can unlock deeper self-awareness and personal growth. From identifying limiting beliefs to building better habits, they share practical advice and personal stories to help you develop your mindset and achieve your goals. Discover the questions that lead to life-changing breakthroughs, and learn how curiosity can become your superpower. This episode is a must-listen for anyone looking to build self-awareness, embrace curiosity, and take their life to the next level.

Links mentioned:
Next Level Nation: https://www.facebook.com/groups/459320958216700
Free-30 Minute Coaching Call with Alan: https://bit.ly/4f3MSUz

______________________

NLU is not just a podcast; it’s a gateway to a wealth of resources designed to help you achieve your goals and dreams. From our Next Level Dreamliner to our Group Coaching, we offer a variety of tools and communities to support your personal development journey.

For more information, please check out our website at the link below. 👇

Website 💻  http://www.nextleveluniverse.com

_______________________

Any of these communities or resources are FREE to join and consume
Next Level Nation - https://www.facebook.com/groups/459320958216700
Next Level 5 To Thrive (free course) - ​​https://bit.ly/3xffver
Next Level U Book Club - https://bit.ly/3BQBYDr
Next Level Monthly Meet-up:  https://www.nextleveluniverse.com/monthly-meetups/

_______________________

We love connecting with you guys! Reach out on Instagram, Facebook, or via email. We’re here to support you in your personal and professional development journey.

Instagram 📷
Kevin: https://www.instagram.com/neverquitkid/
Alan: https://www.instagram.com/alazaros88/

Facebook ✍
Alan: https://www.facebook.com/alan.lazaros
Kevin: https://www.facebook.com/kevin.palmieri.90/

Email 💬
Kevin@nextleveluniverse.com
Alan@nextleveluniverse.com

LinkedIn ✍
Kevin: https://www.linkedin.com/in/kevin-palmieri-5b7736160/
Alan: https://www.linkedin.com/in/alanlazarosllc/

_______________________

Show notes:
(2:11) Exploring the dangers of overusing “why” and “how.”
(7:27) The power of daily learning for long-term expertise
(10:02) Recognizing internal struggles Vs. External influences
(19:55) Meet like-minded people and jumpstart your journey to achieving your dreams while optimizing your life. Join Next Level Group Coaching. https://bit.ly/3Up1FkG
(21:09) The skill of asking and answering quest

Send a text to Kevin and Alan!

🎙️ Hosted by Kevin Palmieri and Alan Lazaros

Next Level University is a top-ranked daily podcast for dream chasers and self-improvement lovers. With over 2,100 episodes, we help you level up in life, love, health, and wealth one day at a time. Subscribe for real, honest, no-fluff growth every single day.

Kevin Palmieri

everything is different, then where am I actually in comparison to where I think I am? That's a completely different all of that and again we're getting very specific here. But I think a good habit or a good tactic would be go on Google and type what are the top 20 questions I can ask myself to help with self-awareness. I feel like that would be very, very powerful.

Alan Lazaros

What's the limiting belief that has disguised itself as empowering? You can do anything you set your mind to is not true. It's inaccurate. You can do a lot more than you probably think long term.

Kevin Palmieri

That's more accurate. Welcome to Next Level University. I'm your host, kevin Palmieri, and.

Alan Lazaros

I'm your co-host, Alan Lazarus.

Kevin Palmieri

At NLU we believe in a heart-driven but no BS approach to holistic self-improvement for dream chasers.

Alan Lazaros

Our goal with every episode is to help you level up your life love health and wealth.

Kevin Palmieri

We bring you a new episode every single day, on topics like confidence, self-belief, self-worth, self-awareness, relationships, boundaries, consistency, habits and defining your own unique version of success.

Alan Lazaros

Self-improvement in your pocket, every day, from anywhere, completely free.

Kevin Palmieri

Welcome to Next Level University. Next Level University, next Level Nation. Welcome back to another episode of Next Level University, where we help you level up your life, your love, your health and your wealth. Today, for episode number 1,893, are you asking yourself the wrong questions? I've been on many podcasts and said this. Many leather-bound books. On many podcasts I've said this. That's the proper way to set this up, I believe. Why is one of the most valuable questions you can ask yourself. But now with a higher awareness, I also think eventually, if you only ask yourself why, you're kind of setting yourself up for failure.

Kevin Palmieri

So, as an example, why did I have such low self-worth? One of the reasons is because my dad left. I think one of the other reasons is because I grew up without a lot of money. I took jobs that were entry-level positions that I usually was looked down on and that became my narrative Low self-worth, low self-worth, low self-worth. Okay, when I'm 26, 27, I say why do I have such low self-worth? Even though I didn't, because I didn't know what low self-worth was. But let's say I did.

Kevin Palmieri

I could say, oh yeah, my dad left, and this and this and this and this and this, and I'm shot and I'm short. Yeah, that's what Alan was saying in his I don't know what accent that was Shot judge, shot judge. That why is going to lead me to an answer. But I have to answer, but I have to. So then there's a couple questions that can come after that. Okay, how do I turn that around? I think if you stay in why for too long you're it's a dangerous game. I think if you stay in how for too long, it's a dangerous game. I think if you stay in when for too long, it's a dangerous game. And what's the other one? Who, who?

Kevin Palmieri

what, when, where, why and how where I feel like, where doesn't matter as much whoa where are you going? Yeah, but I mean like where are you going? I guess that's it. That's a jam yeah it's nothing like taking a little acid and lying in the field listening to some dave matthews band. Never done, but I've always been afraid of hallucinogenics.

Alan Lazaros

I never told you this story I went to dave bathu, dave bathu's dave bathu I went to a dave matthews band concert and I tried to sneak in the back. We didn't get in you didn't get in there was a fence.

Alan Lazaros

I forget where this venue was. I used to run amok and we were supposed to jump this fence or go underneath it and climb through the woods and get in. I mean, you could hear inside. It sounded like the best thing in the entire world. Everyone was loving it. And we pre-gamed, we did the what is it called when you, before a football game or whatever, tailgate, tailgate. Yeah, we tailgated, and I didn't get in Huge disappointment, that is disappointment, that is a tough night.

Kevin Palmieri

It's not good well, you guys hang out.

Alan Lazaros

I've been to three concerts in my entire life. Yeah, and one of them I didn't get in honestly, sometimes the tailgate's the best part, yeah for sure, so at least you get to tailgate so off topic but of course pregame's the best thing, but you need a game to go to seriously, otherwise the pregame is empty. I realized that in college. I said my favorite part is the pre-game and the and the post party. But if there's no party it doesn't make it, as it's not as fun I could care less I could care.

Kevin Palmieri

I don't want to go to the party anyway, so let's just pre-game and then go to sleep. Awesome, love that, love that. The best that is the post-game is sleep. It's the best.

Alan Lazaros

And that's the difference between.

Kevin Palmieri

Kevin and I right yes, that's my thesis in this episode. I think why is one of the most powerful questions you can ask yourself. I think you can ask it too much. I think how is a great question, but if you have the how, but you don't know why it, it's not as powerful. So that is today's topic. Are you asking yourself the wrong questions? Now, I think those are all right questions, it's just circumstantial. But Alan texted me and said hey, I feel like we haven't done an episode on questions in a while. Let's do an episode on questions.

Alan Lazaros

And that's my origin story. Shout out to Matt. Not, I say your, matt, but not your best friend, matt Matt, my client, matt. Not, I say your, matt, but not your best friend, matt, matt, my client Matt. Shout out to you, brother. We were on a coaching session last week this past Monday actually and I said what's the one thing that could change everything? That's a good one, that's a good question, and I was thinking about it recently, earlier, actually recently, learning each day, cause I I was learning leadership earlier and lately I've been trying to get back into. I used to wake up every day and I would learn first thing yes.

Alan Lazaros

First. Third is for me. Second, third is for service. Third third is for fitness, food and family. That was how my days were structured before I got so overwhelmed and I stopped learning in the morning and I kind of started to hate my life playfully a little bit. I can't stand it when I don't have a morning where I can actually learn. I feel like I'm working on other people's lives more than my own, which is really not sustainable whatsoever. No, because I need to lead by example, so it just drives me crazy. So can you imagine? So?

Alan Lazaros

John Maxwell says this. He said when I was younger, I listened to a tape by Earl Nightingale, which is one of the early personal development thinkers of the day, and he said Earl said this Earl, my man, earl, what a weird name. Earl Nightingale said if you learn for an hour a day every day for five years, you can be an expert in any topic you want. And that's why John Maxwell chose leadership. He said I'm going to learn leadership every day for five years. And he said at the beginning it was how long can I do this, how long can I do this? How long until I'm an expert by the end? And this is what John says. He says it eventually became. How far can I go?

Alan Lazaros

And self-improvement, leadership and business are my three. I call them my three subjects. So everyone out there watching or listening, what are your subjects? What are the things that you're going to be a subject expert in? Self-improvement is obviously one of ours. So if I'm not learning self-improvement every day, so what's the one thing that could change everything? That's a great question For me. What came up is learning every day.

Alan Lazaros

That's been mine for sure 30 minutes a day on average, next level, university, next level you pun intended If you were to, really, what's the one thing that could change everything If you do actually listen? I have some clients that have listened to this show every single day. They check it off their tracker habit tracking. I'm telling you, I notice a difference. I do. It can be a pain in the butt. Listeners, viewers, we get it like we're basically hey get after it, hey get after. Hey. Have you thought of this? Hey, get after it.

Alan Lazaros

Can be exhausting, it really can, and we review the show less than we should, but we understand it's. It's a lot of content and it can be difficult when you're struggling to look at more mirrors. How inadequate are you like? I know how hard it can be, but if you can do that one thing, it could change everything and I've seen a huge uptick and this isn't just me selling our podcast. Anything If it's not us, make sure it's something. If it's not NLU, make sure you're learning every day. That's one. But the question is, what's the one thing that can change everything? I think that's a really powerful question One of the.

Kevin Palmieri

So we were in Florida one time and it was Alan, myself and Eddie Panero of your World Within and we were working out. Eddie had a gym in the basement of his apartment complex. We were down there getting ready for an event. I think we did a trip down there to talk about the event. That wasn't, I don't think we were down there for the event at that time, but I remember we were working out and were crushing it and you and I are in really good shape and I was leading the workout. I was the bodybuilder. I had been exercising longer. I usually led workouts. That was usually the thing that I did and I was 10 out of 10 confident. I felt amazing. I felt amazing about myself. We finished the workout and then we sat down and we started talking about business and I remember my internal dialogue was Eddie and Alan are so freaking arrogant when it comes to business. Because I just went from a position of power 10 out of 10 confidence. This is my jam. We're in the gym. This is my jam to.

Kevin Palmieri

I don't know anything about business, and one of the best, most powerful, most appropriate questions I ever asked was is the way I'm feeling a me problem or is it a them problem? Is this because of them or is this because of my own inadequacies? Is this because I haven't studied business and I'm villainizing them for knowing more than I do? Am I feeling bad about myself or are they making me feel bad about myself? And it was the first one. This was a mean problem. This wasn't Alan and Eddie. This had nothing to do with them. It was just the mirror that was presented to me that I had to look in and I just wasn't. I wasn't ready to look in. Some of those questions have changed my life. As long as you're willing to answer them. That's the hard part, right? You can ask yourself all the questions in the world if you don't answer them honestly. That's what makes it really really challenging.

Kevin Palmieri

I love working with clients where I can. I literally said this to someone today and we're going to do an episode on it tomorrow, so I'm not going to give away the question. But I said do you mind if I ask you a really weird question? And she said we love weird. I said I know we love weird and it's just. I said you're the weirdest client I have respectfully, not you as a person. I'm a podcast coach. We got to the end and she said I actually think I have some video that needs to be edited. I'll have to find someone. And I said we do that, and she's like you do that. And I said don't forget, I'm a podcast coach. Right, we have a podcast production company.

Kevin Palmieri

I know you and I don't ever talk about the podcast ever. We never, ever, talk about your podcast. We talk about other stuff. But our relationship is very, very weird and a lot of the breakthroughs that we've had together I'm not saying I've given the breakthroughs, I just asked the right question and this person has enough courage, has enough humility and has enough honesty to actually answer the question, and I'm sure you have similar it's really hard to work with someone who's not willing to answer the question.

Kevin Palmieri

Yeah, same for you.

Kevin Palmieri

It's really hard to work on yourself if you're not willing to answer the question. I say this all the time if you're not willing to answer the question. I say this all the time when I used to think and think and think, and I would eventually get to a place where I would say, okay, I can't think anymore about this, there's no more constructive thoughts. And then I'd say, well, let's see what happens. Let me try to push through this. Let me try to push through this and I always got to an answer.

Kevin Palmieri

But I think your brain wants you to go do something else, like yeah, we've come far enough here, there's no point in digging deeper. I think you can always dig a little bit deeper and then, when you dig deeper, that becomes a new muscle, and then you can and I'm sure Alan knows the science way more than I do but then next time you can dig a little bit deeper and you can dig a little bit deeper. I remember when you and I used to have deep conversations, there would become a point where we would go too far, and then I was just done. My brain would just shut off. It's like overheating Can't do it anymore.

Alan Lazaros

You tripped the circuit breaker, shut it down. Yeah, we gotta cool it off for a little bit, but that never happens anymore.

Kevin Palmieri

It's now. I'm just more capable because I've been asked questions and I've answered those questions. I'm asking myself those questions, so it's always hard to do episodes like this because do I have a list of and maybe you do do I have a list of five of the most valuable questions to ask yourself? No, no, but I think just the fundamental of asking yourself questions is one of the best ways to build self-awareness.

Alan Lazaros

It is the best way.

Kevin Palmieri

And self-awareness that's what thinking is is asking and answering questions Right, right and self-awareness is a superpower.

Alan Lazaros

Okay, break this down, break it down, break this down, break it down. The difference between you and I in our mid-thirties versus you and I in our mid-twenties is we're more aware. Because we're more aware, we can make better choices. Because we make better choices, we can get better outcomes. Everyone wants better outcomes, but that's not where you start. You have to. When I say goals, metrics, habits, skills, identity, the outcomes that you want in life, so everyone think of an outcome you want in life. So I'm thinking of the physique. I want Kev think of an outcome. What's an outcome you want in life?

Kevin Palmieri

anyone, I would like a, a bmw m2. It's like the nicest version of my car okay, nice, all right.

Alan Lazaros

So that's an outcome. We both have an outcome. Okay, that's great. That's where you start. Cool, what is the difference? Okay, how do you get that?

Kevin Palmieri

bmw I because there's a question how do okay?

Alan Lazaros

no no, but how do you get that bmw? Then you start your thought process, go ahead I master finances okay how do you master?

Kevin Palmieri

finances, study, study finances. More and more, I try to focus on making more money, I try to focus on optimizing expenses as a business owner and personally, and then I figure out where do I invest my money? Where does the money that I make go? What do I do with it? To make more money or whatever?

Alan Lazaros

Okay, what's one way you can earn more money?

Kevin Palmieri

Get more clients.

Alan Lazaros

Okay, what's one way you can get more clients?

Kevin Palmieri

Do more free podcast breakthrough sessions. What's one?

Alan Lazaros

way you can do more free podcast breakthrough sessions. Go on a ton of podcasts. What's one way you can go on more podcasts? Send messages to podcasters, right and so there it is. So Kevin knows exactly how to get his BMW. He's just not doing that.

Kevin Palmieri

So if well, shout out to Laura. Laura sends a lot of messages for podcasts. Laura, you're crushing it.

Alan Lazaros

I meant you personally.

Alan Lazaros

What I would say, if I could, I'm going to coach Kev live here. Here we go. Yeah, that's all. Coaching is what I just did with you. Now you're like, oh, instead of send more messages to podcasters, no, go connect with more podcasters threads. You posted about podcasting and you connected with podcasters. I would post more on threads and connect with more podcasters. Boom, now you'll get more. See, everything is way upstream and if you go and ask enough questions, you'll get to the root of what you actually need to do. That's what my coaching is is what do you need to do on a day-to-day basis to make sure that you eventually get the outcomes you want? It's really.

Alan Lazaros

And then here's the thing that I've been struggling with lately is Emilia. She came to me. She's trying to create an algorithm. She has a group coaching program. She has 10 people in the group. She has gold, silver, bronze. She's trying to put people like celebrate the people who did the best in the program, and there's five metrics there's attendance, there's engagement, there's all these metrics and she has numbers for all of them. She's big into spreadsheets. She's got a spreadsheet for everything and she asked me how do I know who should get gold? And I I said what we're doing is we're setting up a cost value analysis which is is okay, let's say I said what's most important. She said attendance. I said okay, cool, so weight that higher than engagement?

Alan Lazaros

And without going down the rabbit hole of this example, the point that I'm trying to make is asking the question is step one, and I have a client I'm thinking of relationship talks coaching client who said I don't feel like I'm thinking of relationship talks coaching client who said I don't feel like I'm an existentialist like you guys. She's very humble to say that I'm very grateful. She said how do I become an existentialist, like how do I contemplate more? I said it's all about asking questions. She said well, I don't know what questions to ask.

Alan Lazaros

And I had this moment with Emilia recently where you know what's so interesting. People say, well, if you want to know something, you just look it up. No, you don't. You need to know what question to ask. And how do you know what question to ask?

Alan Lazaros

That's the question, dude, there's four levels of competence. There's unconsciously incompetent. In other words, when Kevin and I were at the beginning of this journey of podcasting, we didn't know that we sucked. Then we started podcasting and we became very aware that we suck. That's called conscious incompetence. So you start out not knowing you suck. Then you eventually know you suck. And then the third level is conscious competence. We started getting good and we started to be aware that we're good. Now we're unconsciously competent. We have no clue how good we are at this. We've done it so much that if we were to start with a beginner which I just was on with a beginner earlier it is alarming how much better I am. So I've forgotten more than they know. That's like asking Michael Jordan how to dunk. He'd be like what do you mean? You just dunk. He's forgot how he did it. And so, with this contemplative question thing, it's not just asking the right questions, it's practicing this skill.

Alan Lazaros

Asking and answering questions is an executive function, neuroscientific thing that you at the beginning, used to shut down. You want to know why. You were in the mental gym for the first time in a long time. If you and I go squat, you're going to squat more than me. If you and I go in the mental gym, I'm going to squat more than you. Why? Because I had done it more for longer frequency, intensity, density, duration, and so if you're out there watching or listening to bring this home and make it land. What are the questions you should be asking and how often are you asking and answering questions? Some people are on autopilot. They're just going through life and I'm not trying to be unkind, but I want to see you win. You cannot win winging it. You can't. If you do, it's luck and, honestly, even if you get lucky, you're going to feel trapped by that because you don't know how you got there.

Kevin Palmieri

Next level nation. What is happening? If you've thought to yourself, I want to try coaching, but you don't really know where to start, group coaching would be a wonderful place for you. That's really why we created it in the first place. We start a new round every 90 days. So if you're hearing this, go to the website nextleveluniversecom and we have the landing page where you can actually hold your spot right now. Even if there's a group going on right now, you can still lock your spot for the next one. The biggest thing that we've seen is, as we get closer and closer to the date, unfortunately, some people end up missing. The group fills up and they can't do it, and then they end up regretting that. So please head over to the website. The link will be in the show notes and we would love to see you there. I feel like I'm really good at knowing the question to ask Google for some reason.

Alan Lazaros

I think you're good at questions. You're an existentialist. You've always been asking questions.

Kevin Palmieri

I guess I don't know if I would say always, probably not always. I think I probably would have had more results earlier in life if I was asking questions.

Alan Lazaros

I think a lot of the questions I was asking were wrong. You probably asked questions. I was asking how.

The skill of asking and answering questions effectively

Kevin Palmieri

How do I do this, how do I do this, how do I do this? I was very, how heavy. Again, there's nothing wrong with that. I think tactics are very important and very valuable, but you can how yourself into a circle. If you don't understand why you are where you are, you can say, okay, how do I get from where I am to where I want to be? Great, awesome.

Kevin Palmieri

A completely different line of thought is why am I where I am today? Those are completely different conversations of thought. Is why am I where I am today? Those are completely different conversations. Everything is different. Everything is different. Then, where am I actually in comparison to where I think I am? That's a completely different all of that and again, we're getting very specific here but I think a good, a good habit or a good tactic would be go on Google and type what are the top 20 questions I can ask myself to help with self-awareness. I feel like that would be very, very powerful. If you know how to use ChatGPT, I would say ChatGPT will be even better, honestly. But Google's a really good start and again, google uses.

Alan Lazaros

AI, so it's just as good, I think.

Kevin Palmieri

I haven't done it. I've used a lot of chat GPT. When I do Google, it brings up. It never answers the question. It brings up articles, at least when I've done it.

Alan Lazaros

If you ask the question, Google more now, lately, Later Lately. If you ask Google a question half the time you'll get links to articles and stuff. If you ask it right, you'll start getting an AI-generated response, which I think is really powerful, and then, there's personality tests, hexaco.

Alan Lazaros

All that is is asking and answering questions. Okay, what's your greatest strength? What's your greatest weakness? What's your greatest blind spot? How self-aware are you? All of these are questions. I decided when I was very young that I wanted to be as intelligent as I could be, and I knew that that was all a process of learning through humble curiosity, which is just asking and answering questions. I've probably asked you 5,000 questions since we met so many.

Kevin Palmieri

I've asked you a lot of questions too, for sure, and that's why we're more aware now that's who asks better questions. You think me or you?

Alan Lazaros

Brother.

Kevin Palmieri

You think you do.

Alan Lazaros

For sure, absolutely.

Kevin Palmieri

Yeah, you ask pretty good questions.

Alan Lazaros

Thank you. You ask very good questions too. As a matter of fact, the Dreamliner shout out to Lizzie. She's the one who came up with the 90 questions for the existing Dreamliner 2.0. Kev is now the director of that department. I actually have on my to-do list to tell you.

Alan Lazaros

I would love for you to take a whack at creating the next 90 questions, because you went and gave that speech to Evan Carmichael. You went and gave a speech on how to ask great questions in interviews and I think that the dreamliner there's a question. So, for example, today I'll go quickly with this, but today's question, one question a day, not 50, just one, just one Today's question. Oh, that's the wrong page. One second Okay, if you were to take a random sample of nine people and you were the 10th, what might you be the best at? That's a great question, great question. I said long-term strategic thinking and science, technology, engineering, mathematics, business, finance, definitely not relationships. What do you mean? I think now, maybe yeah, but they never came naturally to me.

Kevin Palmieri

Insummate relationships, or just you have a freaking podcast about relationships. You better be in the top. I am now, but it never came naturally to me. Yeah, that's fair.

Alan Lazaros

It never came naturally to me, so I actually that's new self-awareness for me right now is, yeah, I would say I'm probably in the top 10 on that. But when I was a young, when I was younger man, no, I didn't understand. Engineers call people humans. For a reason we don't understand humans. People call me Spock from Star Trek Spock is very rational.

Kevin Palmieri

Give me five people that call you Spock give me five people that call you Spock. Oh, I've been called Spock my whole life, brother, give me five names right now. No, no, in the last year, though. Oh, no, probably not in the last year.

Alan Lazaros

That's what happens when you lose friends. Who's the guy from?

Kevin Palmieri

Sheldon, sheldon. Yes, see that? That's how connected Alan and I are. He didn't even have to say the show. We're on the same wavelength.

Alan Lazaros

I get memes of Sheldon all the time. Yeah, you are.

Kevin Palmieri

Sheldon-like. I am yeah, for sure, yeah, of course, of course. But he's also not very liked because he comes across as brash.

Alan Lazaros

Yeah Right, it's difficult to be mathematical and calculated without coming off like a dick.

Kevin Palmieri

I think it's difficult to be anything other than the people that you're surrounded with, because you're just going to be different, and I think oftentimes different is offensive, depending on what it is. I would say out of, if I was the 10th person moonwalking.

Alan Lazaros

I'd probably number one out Before we go. Can we come up with the top three questions for our listeners to ask themselves?

Kevin Palmieri

No Three Three.

Top three questions for self-awareness and growth

Alan Lazaros

Okay, what are the top three questions you've asked yourself over this hyperconscious slash next level journey since starting the podcast?

Kevin Palmieri

Is this a me problem or a them problem? One Will I regret this in the morning? I know that sounds funny, but yes, will I regret this in the morning? I know that sounds funny, but yes, will I regret this in the morning? I ask myself that all the time it sounds like I'm out partying that would have changed a couple of my decisions.

Kevin Palmieri

Will I regret this in the morning. And is this in alignment? It kind of goes with that one, but is this in alignment? That question is so with that one, but is this in alignment? That question is so powerful. See, you can save yourself from regret if you ask yourself is this inside of alignment? Is this outside of alignment? Yes, you're going to regret it, probably. Or you're going to delude yourself into thinking there was something there for you when there wasn't. What are your three? Quickly?

Alan Lazaros

Quickly, quickly, quickly, quickly. Number one is what's the one thing that can change everything? That's a great question. So, for example I'm going to answer it emilia smith. My relationship with her has changed everything. I can't forget that. It's very important. Number two ah, I love this one. What's the limiting belief that has disguised itself as empowering? An example of this is oh, you can do anything you set your mind to. That's some bs kev real quick. A couple of my clients, their children, know the intro by heart. I love that. I gotta stop swearing. You know what I mean.

Alan Lazaros

It's yeah, it's tough, that's a tough one, yeah so for any listeners out there who have children that listen.

Kevin Palmieri

We apologize for any of my previous f-bombs we just say you just have to say earmuffs before you do it. I know it takes the allure and the emotion out of swearing in general but I'll say fn or jeff n.

Alan Lazaros

I'll say occasionally the s word or the a word, but I'm gonna keep it. They were on a coaching session. They were singing, they were doing the whole intro.

Alan Lazaros

And I was like, oh, and the whole time I was just in shame. I was like, oh no, if you guys swear because of me. So anyways, what's the limiting belief that has disguised itself as empowering? You can do anything you set your mind to is not true. It's inaccurate. You can than you probably think. Long term that's more accurate.

Alan Lazaros

Okay, and then the third question would be what am I really afraid of? What is it that I'm really afraid of? Because a lot of times you think, oh well, I don't want to post that because I'm busy. What are you really afraid of? I'm afraid my mom, mom's going to see it and if she sees it, she might get stuck in shame of. You know the fact that my childhood was challenging, and even that is a polite way to put it. So what am I really afraid of? Well, if you actually ask and answer that question, you'll realize that you're just being a coward, myself included. We're all very cowardly. We don't mean to be, we're just human. We're afraid, right? Why do you post on Instagram and not Facebook? Why do you post on TikTok and not Instagram? Because your relatives are on there. That's the real reason. Come on, same-sies. That's never been a thing for me.

Kevin Palmieri

I'm weird in that you also didn't. I don't give an F. Yeah, take a look at it, I don't care.

Alan Lazaros

Yeah, well, you have different fears, but we all have different fears.

Kevin Palmieri

It's but we all have fears. I have many fears, many. I had three questions oh, what's the best that could happen? What's the worst that could happen? What's the most likely? It's a great set of three questions and I do that all the time and it's like what's the worst that could happen and I really go to a dark place, like that's not going to happen. You're going to log on with this client. They're going to tell you you're, you're terrible, you are the worst human they've ever met in your life. They're going to ask for all their money back. They're going to write 10 bad reviews about you.

Alan Lazaros

And then you and then they're gonna tell all your friends how bad you are I gotta share a real quick story. Yeah sure, super fast. All right, quickly. So I'm at a bar known as pins in milford okay whatever man, it's a freaking bowling alley. It's a bowling alley slash bar slash arcade, arcade.

Kevin Palmieri

You gotta give credit. You tell somebody it's just a bar, they're not gonna understand how magnificent of a place that is. I used to go and get hammered and bowl. It was the best, the absolute best.

Alan Lazaros

Okay, pins milford, massachusetts, was a good time. It's a good time. So friday, saturday night, they would have a dj com and it would be a rager. Really they did. They did it right. And one of my friends is really scared of dancing with women. He's really scared of approaching women, he's afraid to ask a girl to dance and I was always trying to push him outside his comfort zone because I'm a pain in everyone's ass and I was like, brother, what's the worst that could happen? He turns to me immediately because there's these two really attractive girls in the center and they're very clearly looking at him. He's a stud and I used to drive me nuts because I would see all these girls checking him out and he's just such a coward, right. And I say, brother, those two girls are looking at us like let's go ask him to dance. I said, what's the worst that could happen? He turns to me, I kid you not, he goes. I could die. And he said it tongue and cheek it was.

Alan Lazaros

I died laughing it does feel that way and the truth is is that's not true. The worst that could happen is you get rejected and then you have to question your self-worth, which, by the way, I do on the reg, it's all good. I never understood dancing.

Kevin Palmieri

It's a blast man. Well, I think it's. That must be like a college thing, right?

Alan Lazaros

No, that's a human thing.

Kevin Palmieri

Well, yeah, but where do you? Did you learn to dance in high school, or did you learn to dance in college? I don't know. Probably you just wake up one day, decide that you, what do you mean? We didn't have any Dirty dancing in high school.

Alan Lazaros

In middle school we had the you know, the arms out sort of. Baby you're all that I want. Remember Hab dances, of course, awesome. All I wanted to do was play sports. It's like hey, Amy's crying because you didn't dance with her on the last slow song.

Kevin Palmieri

You're sweating all over the place playing football. I'm about to be tackled.

Alan Lazaros

Yeah, yeah On the AstroTurf yeah, by full-grown men I don't know how to.

Kevin Palmieri

I'm not a very good dancer, maybe. Yeah, we're out here jeffing my buddy Matt. I remember the first time I ever went out to the bar with him I was like, oh my God, he can move, this man can move. Yeah, I've been out with Matt, it is wild. Matt's a good time. Good for you.

Alan Lazaros

We went to Florida for an entire week and we ran amok I'm talking early 20s ran amok.

Kevin Palmieri

we had a. We had a freaking blast and, yeah, matt can move next level. University slash party, occasionally university. You don't party anymore.

Invitation

Alan Lazaros

No, you're boring as hell I, you grow out of things, but I'm grateful that I had a absolute blast all right, so that'll be the next course.

Kevin Palmieri

We do next level dance routine Alan and I, full screen, just moving and grooving. That'll be the next thing we have. If you're looking for a group of like-minded humans who are into this weird-ass thing called self-improvement and personal development, we have a private Facebook group called Next Level Nation. It is all about that. We'll have the link in the show notes. We would love to have you there. And just a friendly reminder the reason it is private is not to keep you out. It's to make sure that it stays a safe, growth-minded environment. We don't ever really want it to be a public page that anybody can join, because that kind of gets rid of the safe community that we're trying to build.

Alan Lazaros

So that is why it's private, not to keep you out, if you want to set up your goals, metrics, habits, skills and then work on yourself in a way that increases drastically the probability that you reach your outcomes, whether it's the BMW Kevin mentioned or the physique that you want. Whether it's the BMW Kevin mentioned or the physique that you want I was thinking about this earlier success by design. That's what I do, that's what I love to do, and it's not just about why you're doing what you're doing, it's how to actually do it, and we will reverse engineer exactly what outcomes you want to create, and we'll create and iterate upon that. So reach out. The first session is free.

Kevin Palmieri

As always, we love you, we appreciate you, grateful for each and every one of you and at NLU we don't have fans, we have family. We will talk to you all tomorrow.

Alan Lazaros

Keep asking questions, Next time nation.

Kevin Palmieri

Thanks for joining us for another episode of Next Level University. We love connecting with the Next Level family.

Alan Lazaros

We mean it when we say family. If you ever need anything, please reach out to us directly. Everything you need to get a hold of us is in the show notes.

Kevin Palmieri

Thank you again and we will talk to you tomorrow.

Head Shot

Alan Lazaros

Host
Head Shot

Kevin Palmieri

Host