Next Level University

You’ll Do More For Others Than You’ll Do For Yourself (1896)

Kevin Palmieri and Alan Lazaros

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0:00 | 26:57

What keeps you going, even when the days feel hard? In this episode, Kevin Palmieri and Alan Lazaros explore why we often work harder for others than we do for ourselves. They share how accountability can push us to stay consistent, whether it's through a fitness group or personal goals. You'll also hear about creative tips, like the "$100 Habit," that show how small actions can spark big changes. If you're ready to take control of your goals and find new inspiration, this episode is packed with practical advice and uplifting stories to keep you motivated. Don’t miss it!

Links mentioned:
Next Level Dreamliner: https://a.co/d/9fPpxEt
Free-30 Minute Coaching Call with Alan: https://bit.ly/4f3MSUz

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NLU is not just a podcast; it’s a gateway to a wealth of resources designed to help you achieve your goals and dreams. From our Next Level Dreamliner to our Group Coaching, we offer a variety of tools and communities to support your personal development journey.

For more information, please check out our website at the link below. 👇

Website 💻  http://www.nextleveluniverse.com

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Any of these communities or resources are FREE to join and consume
Next Level Nation - https://www.facebook.com/groups/459320958216700
Next Level 5 To Thrive (free course) - ​​https://bit.ly/3xffver
Next Level U Book Club - https://bit.ly/3BQBYDr
Next Level Monthly Meet-up:  https://www.nextleveluniverse.com/monthly-meetups/

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We love connecting with you guys! Reach out on Instagram, Facebook, or via email. We’re here to support you in your personal and professional development journey.

Instagram 📷
Kevin: https://www.instagram.com/neverquitkid/
Alan: https://www.instagram.com/alazaros88/

Facebook ✍
Alan: https://www.facebook.com/alan.lazaros
Kevin: https://www.facebook.com/kevin.palmieri.90/

Email 💬
Kevin@nextleveluniverse.com
Alan@nextleveluniverse.com

LinkedIn ✍
Kevin: https://www.linkedin.com/in/kevin-palmieri-5b7736160/
Alan: https://www.linkedin.com/in/alanlazarosllc/

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Show notes:
(1:45) Personal stories of accountability driving consistency
(4:11) Building your best self: Self-discipline Vs. Accountability
(6:30) The "$100 Habit" and using necessity to fuel action
(14:15) Meet like-minded people and jumpstart your journey to achieving your dreams while optimizing your life. Join Next Level Group Coaching. https://bit.ly/3Up1FkG
(17:22) Real-life examples of leveraging accountability for success
(25:28) How accountability through coaching foster

Send a text to Kevin and Alan!

🎙️ Hosted by Kevin Palmieri and Alan Lazaros

Next Level University is a top-ranked daily podcast for dream chasers and self-improvement lovers. With over 2,100 episodes, we help you level up in life, love, health, and wealth one day at a time. Subscribe for real, honest, no-fluff growth every single day.

Kevin Palmieri

that's why the fitness accountability group is so important, because there are. Is anybody relying on me? No, but if I don't post a fitness picture for four days in a row, people are gonna start to notice, for sure.

Alan Lazaros

One person signs up for a marathon, tells their friends and family, they all put it on their calendar. They all are super excited. The other person doesn't tell anybody who's going to run more often First one. Yeah, and that's what we all. You've got to put a little skin in the game. You've got to it sucks.

Kevin Palmieri

Welcome to Next Level University. I'm your host, Kevin Palmieri.

Alan Lazaros

And I'm your co-host, Alan Lazarus.

Kevin Palmieri

At NLU, we believe in a heart-driven but no BS approach to holistic self-improvement for dream chasers.

Alan Lazaros

Our goal with every episode is to help you level up your life, love, health and wealth.

Kevin Palmieri

We bring you a new episode every single day on topics like confidence, self-belief, self-worth, self-awareness, relationships, boundaries, consistency, habits and defining your own unique version of success.

Alan Lazaros

Self-improvement in your pocket, every day, from anywhere, completely free.

Kevin Palmieri

Welcome to Next Level University, next Level Nation. Welcome back to another episode of Next Level University, where we help you level up your life, your love, your health and your wealth. Today, for episode number 1,896, we're creeping up on 1900, which is mind-blowing, and I'm super excited to get to 1900. You'll do more for others than you'll do for yourself.

Kevin Palmieri

I have mentioned this client a lot this week because it's just a call that sticks out. Sometimes you have those calls with clients and it just sticks out. This is the weird client where we have weird conversations. And she said all right, what's my homework? And I said it's this thing, this thing, this thing. And she's like all right, cool. I. And I said it's this thing, this thing, this thing. And she's like all right, cool, I'm going to do it. And then I'm going to text you in WhatsApp because I can't let you down. I can't imagine letting you down. She said I'll let myself down, but I can't imagine letting Kev down. I was like all right, cool.

Kevin Palmieri

She messaged me today hey, I got blank, blank and blank done, no-transcript episodes. And I said well, alan's always waiting for me. It's usually not that way. I'm usually waiting for Alan, but if, if I said, dude, I don't want to do it. He'd be like Kev, come on, let's go. What are we doing here? And same on my end. Now, that never happens, but I think it never happens because we always know there's somebody on the other end, so it doesn't really now.

Kevin Palmieri

Some days, like today, I tried to bring the energy, so we're recording three episodes tonight back to back to back. This is our second of the third. I had a little playlist for Alan when he came in to the room and I was trying to keep the energy high because some days I know he's had a longer day than I have and I want to make sure that I bring the energy. So there are some days I know he's had a longer day than I have and I want to make sure that I bring the energy. So there are some days where I might be tired, but I know Alan is more tired than I am, so I'll do more for him than I would just do for me, and I think that's all of us.

Kevin Palmieri

That's one of the benefits of having a team, that's one of the benefits of having a community. That's one of the benefits of having a peak performance partner, a coach, somebody to go to the gym with whatever it is, because you will. You will do more for other people than you'll do for yourself, because if there's somebody waiting, there's immediate disappointment. If there's nobody waiting and it's just your goal that you set for yourself that you'll accomplish this time next year there's not that much necessity, because it just doesn't seem like it matters that much. So that is my monologue to get us going here.

The "$100 Habit" and using necessity to fuel action

Alan Lazaros

Nice. I wrote a article blog, next level blog on my LinkedIn how to build your best self from the ground up, and it's a pyramid. It starts with self-awareness and then it goes to self-concept and self-belief and self-worth and self-discipline and self-trust and self-love. Now I'm all for all of those things. There's a book called the Virtue of Selfishness and what it means. It sounds worse than it is. What it means is that if you build yourself and you grow yourself and you improve yourself, you can be more for others. So we're all for that. This is a self-improvement show. Oh yeah, okay. Going to the gym is not selfish. Reading books is not selfish. Saying no to the barbecue so you can work on yourself is not selfish, and I wish, like we all do, that self-discipline was always enough. Self-discipline is half of the equation, very important, and you need self-discipline. Sometimes no one's going to be there. No one's coming to save you. You've got to do the workout by yourself. Emilia's going to the gym tonight. I usually have an accountability partner. I'm going to have to at least exercise by myself today, because we're working late now. Most of the time I have an accountability partner and one of us holds the line and we're coming up on a thousand days of consistent exercise. Started with 30 minutes, then it was 35, then it was 40, then it was 45. 45 has been unreasonably difficult to sustain every single day. So I'm all for self-discipline and in a perfect world, you would do it just for you. In a perfect world, just doing it for you and valuing you would be enough. For those of you out there who are heart-driven, who struggle with self-worth, like we all do at least to some extent, you need some external accountability, and the external accountability can come in the form of a coach. It can come in the form of a therapist. It can come in the form of a therapist. It can come in the form of a group coaching program. It can come in the form of an accountability partner. It can come in the form of a personal trainer. It can come in the form of. I have one client I'm thinking of. He has a personal trainer, online and in person, and he has a business coach and he just is way more consistent than most people. He has accountability on accountability, on accountability.

Alan Lazaros

And I want to read this this is something that I shared with one of my clients and I've sort of the inception of this episode comes from the fact that I've been really thinking a lot about and thanking all of my clients who have been super consistent, and I'm super pumped about it. So I said to me it's about commitment. I've come to learn that I will get along well with someone to the extent that they genuinely want to reach their potential. To me, underneath that is commitment. How committed is someone to reaching their true potential? If it's a 10 out of 10, then my relationship with them will be a 10 out of 10, emilia being the best example.

Alan Lazaros

Commitment leads to consistency, so when someone's not consistent, it does drive me nuts, because I can't reach my potential or help them reach their potential without consistency. Thank you so much for being consistent. The clients who are the most consistent always make the most progress and get the most results, and I've got a decade of experience, evidence and data to prove that. Started mentoring 10 years ago, coaching eight years ago, and the clients who are the most consistent always crush it. And lately I've been reaching out to certain clients and just saying thank you so much for your consistency, because in 2025, I'm going to be doubling down on that.

Alan Lazaros

I I have come to realize that I I don't really want to work, I'm late, I'm imperfect, I screw up, sometimes I have to reschedule, but I'm very, very, very consistent. I don't think anyone would disagree with that. It's a core value. And the reason it's a core value is because the compound effect is unbelievably powerful. So if you are consistent and committed, you will achieve and you could blow your own mind which is awesome. I've seen it happen.

Alan Lazaros

Okay, so why am I sharing all that? Because one of the ways that my clients are consistent, because, as I've been thanking them for their consistency, they've been saying it's because of the accountability, it's because of the tracking, it's because I don't want to let you down, it's because I want to be the best at coaching. One of my clients says that I want to be the best client you have. I don't care what your motivation is. Let's rock and roll. And also good luck with that, because this is a hell of a bunch. But the truth is, is that skin in the game necessity paying to play having someone in your corner who values consistency? These people are showing up for themselves, but sometimes they're showing up for me more than for themselves. Sometimes you'll do more for others than you'll do for yourself, and I think that's a way to make sure you're firing on all cylinders. Let's say it's a four-cylinder car. Two of the cylinders are is for self, the other two is for others. Make sure you're running on all four you know that cars have four cylinders.

Alan Lazaros

Some, some cars some cars have four cylinders the honda civic that my mother had when I was younger, had four cylinders yes, Six cylinder also, there's also five cylinder. Yeah, and there's also 12 cylinder. There's 12, there's 10, there's 8.

Kevin Palmieri

Probably somewhere in the world, it might be a little three cylinder. Okay, that's enough. That's enough of that, I remember, and then there's no-cylinder electric cars. That's true. Yeah, I still don't understand how that works. I'm not entirely sure how the whole process works yet, but I'll get there eventually. I like things that make noise.

Alan Lazaros

Did I tell you that our car has a summon feature?

Kevin Palmieri

Yes, it's really cool. My car makes noise and I like that. I don't, but you don't like driving and I like that, I don't, but you, you don't like driving, I like driving.

Alan Lazaros

I open my phone when I get out of the gym With Emilia and click, summon and the Tesla drives to us. So cool.

Kevin Palmieri

I don't know if I would like that. I feel like I'd feel like too much Of a local celebrity. You know what I mean. I don't like attention that much.

Alan Lazaros

It is, I like I think it's awesome. Oh, I think it's awesome I love the technology.

Kevin Palmieri

Maybe one day they'll have a little remote and you'll be able to just like drive it around places. That'd be pretty cool. Imagine if you could. I could get in it. You could drive me with a remote, like a little rc car.

Alan Lazaros

You could just take me wherever I want to go the point of self-driving is so you don't have to do it, but that'd be fun too.

Kevin Palmieri

A little date night. It's like, hey, babe, get in the car, I'm going to drive you somewhere, I'm going to take you somewhere. I mean, yeah, you can put in the GPS, but it'd be cooler if I was driving it with a little.

Alan Lazaros

RC thing. Okay, cool, that's a lot now. Isn't that a paradox? I think that a remote control is probably worse than being behind a wheel, but I don't know, it's fair.

Kevin Palmieri

I remember when, uh, I lived with matt and we were renovating the house, one of us always had to rally the other one, yeah, like we'd get up on a sunday and it'd be like, dude, let's just play call of duty all day, what do you think? And it was always a run we were one was always testing the waters with the other one. It's like how'd you sleep? How'd you? How'd you how? How was your night of sleep last night, man, oh man, it rough. I didn't sleep. Well, it's the same dude, same gaps, gas, tired, you know, tired, real tired.

Kevin Palmieri

I was thinking of running to Dunks, maybe getting a couple donuts, I don't know. Just something I kind of thought of this morning. Would you like anything? You want to go for a ride? Yeah, no, I could use a little pick me up. And then you start planting seeds on the way. It's like, yeah, I don't know, man, I feel like maybe we should have kind of a slow morning, get some games of Call of Duty here and then kind of see where the day takes, and then you're off, that's it, you're done.

Kevin Palmieri

But somebody you said it somebody's gonna toe the line, somebody's gonna say no man, nope, can't we signed up for this. This is what we agreed to do, or, if we don't do it today, it's going to set us back, or it's going to make. It's going to make life worse. I one of the good things about making promises to people is it forces you to do stuff. I had a client reach out to me today and they said hey, how is the thing coming along that you're working on for me? And I said you'll have it by Tuesday. Not, I'll get it to you, you'll have it'll be done by Tuesday. I will have it in your hands by Tuesday, because if I don't say by Tuesday, next week's Thanksgiving, so it ain't going to happen Thursday, because I'm not, I'm going to be eating turkey and who knows what else on Thursday. I need to set a deadline where, if I disappoint you, that reflects badly on me.

Kevin Palmieri

Now, is that the amount of pressure you want? I don't know it depends, but that's why, at least having a peak performance partner that cares about your goals Going back to the previous episode, they're going to care more about your goals than your perceived discomfort If something is horribly off the rails, they're going to be understanding and they're going to be supportive. But how often do we not do something because things go horribly wrong versus how often do we not do something because we don't feel like it? Those are two very different conversations. Obviously, circumstances are different, but nine times out of 10, when I don't want to go to the gym, it's not because my house burned down. I'd say 99.999999999999 and there's nobody there waiting for me. Nobody cares if I go to the gym or not.

Alan Lazaros

That is so important.

Kevin Palmieri

That's why the fitness accountability group is so important.

Alan Lazaros

Game changer.

Meet like-minded people and jumpstart your journey to achieving your dreams while optimizing your life. Join Next Level Group Coaching

Kevin Palmieri

Is anybody relying on me? No, but if I don't post a fitness picture for four days in a row, people are going to start to notice For sure. 33 people counting on us days. So if you're hearing this, go to the website nextleveluniversecom and we have the landing page where you can actually hold your spot right now. Even if there's a group going on right now, you can still lock your spot for the next one. The biggest thing that we've seen is, as we get closer and closer to the date, unfortunately, some people end up missing. The group fills up and they can't do it, and then they end up regretting that. So please head over to the website. The link will be in the show notes and we would love to see you there. I forgot to put a pic in there today. I'm going to. I think I did yesterday or two days ago. I only did cardio today at the gymnasium.

Alan Lazaros

Well, in the art of thinking clearly there's a cognitive bias. One of the chapters it's 100 chapters is the loss aversion tendency, is what it's called. I have a message right now from one of my clients I'll keep it anonymous that literally says I need a commitment device for my blank metric. What he's saying is I need more accountability. A commitment device is I'm going to charge you Imagine, kevin's my client I'm going to charge you double for this session and it's going to pay for your next session If, if, you get 100% on reading 20 minutes a day. This has never not worked. It always works. Why? Because you'd rather read 20 minutes than lose that money. When there's nothing to lose, you're not going to ignite all of who you are.

Alan Lazaros

I tell this kind of funny story. One time I was at dusk and I used to run the two and a half mile loop around my house and it got dark. And a few days prior one of our neighbors sent us a picture of a black bear in their backyard which I conveniently forgot about when it was light out. And then it started getting dark real quick and I'm way in the woods. This loop around was very deep in the woods and I started going. Wait a minute, what if? How fast are black bears? Faster?

Alan Lazaros

than you, For sure for sure, and I'm like, hmm, and I start my mind starts messing with me. I start kind of freaking out a little bit, a little bit, and I started running faster Fastest time I've ever run around the block. And I is that because I wanted to run faster. I wanted to run faster. I'm, I'm driven, I'm a guy who wants to improve. I'm big into mastery and growth. I want to get better. I'm athletic, doesn't matter.

Leveraging accountability for success

Alan Lazaros

You will run faster when you're afraid to lose than when you're trying to win, and that's just the way it works. That's human nature. It's human nature. You got to leverage it. You do. You got to leverage it.

Alan Lazaros

Two people want to run every day for their good health. One person I've said this before one person signs up for a marathon, tells their friends and family they all put it on their calendar. They all are super excited. The other person doesn't tell anybody who's gonna run more often. First one, first one. Yeah, and that's what we all. You got to put a little skin in the game. You got to. It sucks, how scary, scary people. Uh, I I type in whatsapp okay, so and so, promises me and themselves that they will have x, y and z done by the next time we talk or they will lose x amount of money that they gave me for the commitment device. I, before I hit enter, I say do I have your word? I don't want to feel bad for taking your money. Do I have your word? They say yes, boom, enter always works, yeah well remember the, the old hundred dollar.

Alan Lazaros

Can you tell?

Kevin Palmieri

that, yeah, I was jeffing at the gym. I wasn't going consistently and I knew exactly how to do it. I was just afraid to do it. So I had a $100 bill in my office on my desk. It was motivation. It wasn't like I had just hundreds in my wallet, it was like a motivational thing. I'm like Kev be successful, be successful. Money is good, be successful, be successful.

Kevin Palmieri

And I went to Tara and I said, hey, I need a favor. And she said what do you got? And I said take this $100. Take this hundo. Take this hundo pee. And if I don't go to the gym every day for the next seven, I need you to rip this thing up in front of me. And she said, no, no, not a chance, no. And I said, babe, it's already done. The fact that I came over and asked you to do it and put this into motion, it's done. I just needed some extra necessity. I just didn't have enough necessity and I exercised for seven days in a row and boom, it was. That was it. It worked so well. It worked so well that I stopped doing it.

Alan Lazaros

But now we should talk about that more. I don't know why we don't talk about that more. That should be like a fundamental next level. You thing the hundred?

Kevin Palmieri

I always say next level you.

Alan Lazaros

It's a place you go. People always ask what is the next? What's this next level? University thing, next level you pun intended become the best version of yourself. It's a place you go to learn how to reach your potential, your own unique potential. $100 habit is one of the coolest things you've ever come up with and we talk about it almost never.

Kevin Palmieri

Well, I think for most people it might be something different. It could be a $100 habit, but maybe, instead of ripping up your money, it's donating to a cause you don't believe in, or something like that.

Alan Lazaros

I tried that. It didn't work for me because it felt unethical.

Kevin Palmieri

Well, that's supposed to motivate you to do the thing. I know I can't though, but you're not going to do it, you're not going to lose. Yeah, you know what I mean by that definition. That's exactly what you should do, because it would work so well that you would never let it happen to the opposite. That's a great point. I think that's you asked me what's your $100 habit. Let's do it Right now.

Alan Lazaros

Yeah. I don't know, I feel like I've been pretty consistent with everything. Honestly, I have Good for you. No, no, I just I love it. That is different than what you normally say. Yeah, I'm averaging five lifts a week. I haven't looked at your metrics in a while.

Kevin Palmieri

I'm averaging five lifts a week. I'm a day behind on the Dreamliner but I've done it. I haven't looked at your metrics in a while. I'm averaging five lifts a week. I'm a day behind on the Dreamliner, but I've done Dreamlining every single day since I started. I feel like I'm doing really well. I do mobility every day. I still suck. I'm still stiff as a board. My left knee feels like it's just brutal. I've got to figure that out.

Alan Lazaros

We should always have a hundred dollar habit running. What's your, what's yours? I would need to be mobility I'm not doing it right now.

Kevin Palmieri

Pull up, my, let me pull up. I don't have I.

Alan Lazaros

I'm now. This is the thing. You've got to do this with a habit that maybe we'll do it each quarter or something, I don't know. I do believe in the hundred dollar habit, though tremendously so for me. I want to learn every day. I really want to learn every day, and I have been. I have been so, but I need to make it. What's the one thing that could change everything? That's that's critical. And for anyone out there, go to a loved one, get a, get a hundred dollar there. Go to a loved one, get a $100 bill. Go to a loved one and say I need you to rip this up, no matter what. No matter what. You need to rip this up in front of me, if I don't X, y or Z, and make sure. It's one habit. Don't pick five, don't pick 10, pick one that you really want to work on, and right now I'm so freaking overwhelmed For me I already am doing the fitness one. We're coming up on 1,000 days.

Kevin Palmieri

Yeah, yeah.

Alan Lazaros

So I'm already doing several things that I'm not missing and I am wildly overwhelmed right now. So I'm not doing a $100 habit right now and if I was, it would be 20 minutes of learning a day, which I am doing.

Kevin Palmieri

So for you it would probably be the same. It would probably be the same for me it would probably be 20 minutes for me.

Alan Lazaros

It's 20 minutes. Alan book and mobility nice, that's what I'm doing. And make sure what habit you pick is sustainable. Don't choose two hours a day in the gym, like, make sure it's 20. Like notice how it's 20 minutes of learning, because if I wake up late, right, just make sure it's sustainable. Like, notice how it's 20 minutes of learning, because if I wake up late, right, just make sure it's sustainable.

Kevin Palmieri

See, this is good, this is a good thing. And then we'll get out of here. If, let's say, you had access to a million dollars out there right, let's say you had a million dollars you would never do a million dollar habit on something you didn't think you could do. Yeah, exactly that fitness thing for me was I know I can do this, I can work out with my eyes closed for seven days in a row, as long as I'm just not being lazy. If you wanted to really test it and again, I wouldn't do this because I don't think it would work but imagine if you had a $10 habit. $10 habit is probably something that's going to be a big stretch because you're not too worried about losing your $10 and if you had a?

Kevin Palmieri

$1 habit. It would be something that it's like yeah, I don't care whether or not this happens well, that wouldn't even work.

Alan Lazaros

Yeah, I think 100 is is small enough to where you're not freaked out, but big enough to where it'll matter. That's why I like it and it sounds cool $100 habit it does habit, it does sound, I don't even know what this episode was about. What are we talking about?

Kevin Palmieri

This episode was sponsored by the $100 habit.

Alan Lazaros

Next level university.

Kevin Palmieri

You'll do more for others than you'll do for yourself. Nice, all right. So that's the challenge to you up there. If you accept, let us know what your $100 habit is.

Alan Lazaros

It works challenge so well your mission shall.

Kevin Palmieri

Shall you choose to accept it? This message will self-destruct in five seconds. Oh hey real quick.

Alan Lazaros

You said gladiator 2 was out. Yeah, it's no. No, it's coming out I'm seeing it this weekend you, you fibbed then did I say it was out? I said it was coming out. No, you said it was out. I'm going to x plus man this weekend. I'm super pumped please let me know I saw some of the CGI.

Kevin Palmieri

a little nervous for you. That's all the first one's awesome.

Alan Lazaros

The soundtrack I'm enjoying already, so we'll see.

Kevin Palmieri

All right, All right, Next up nation, If you have not yet gotten your NLU, your next level dreamliner? I just spoke about it. I've used it every day thus far since I started. I think I started on October 1st. Maybe Let me take a quick look. Yeah, October 1st was the first day. I love it. I'm a day behind, though. I'm out here jeffing, but I don't know how to explain it. I can feel it pulling me Like Kev Kev. Hey, I'm right here, buddy, Do the freaking. So it's on Amazon if you want it. A great way to start your day. Sustainable journaling. It's not going to take you four hours to do it. It's going to take you it probably takes me five minutes per day to do it. Achieve your dreams 90 days at a time. Alan is pointing to it.

Alan Lazaros

It is a journal. That is enough to where your brain says yes, but not so much that your brain gets overwhelmed. The brain doesn't say no, it says yes, yes, it says yes. If you are looking for more accountability in your life, we have something I used to say inspiration, motivation, education and accountability. On this podcast, I can inspire you, motivate you and educate you. I cannot hold you accountable. Coaching is where accountability happens. If you are game, please book your first session. It's free. I'm actually on with someone named Courtney tomorrow. I'm super pumped and it's my favorite work in the world. So if you want to stay accountable to your goals and dreams, that is what I do.

Kevin Palmieri

As always, we love you, we appreciate you, grateful for each and every one of you. And at NLU we don't have fans, we have family. We will talk to you all tomorrow. Talk to you soon. Thanks for joining us for another episode of Next Level University. We love connecting with the Next Level family.

Alan Lazaros

We mean it when we say family. If you ever need anything, please reach out to us directly. Everything you need to get a hold of us is in the show notes.

Kevin Palmieri

Thank you again and we will talk to you tomorrow.