Not Everyone Is Meant To Be A #1 (1914)

Not everyone is meant to lead from the front—and that’s a good thing! In this episode, hosts Kevin Palmieri and Alan Lazaros dive into why being “number two” isn’t a weakness but a unique strength. Through heartfelt stories and practical tips, they reveal how self-awareness and embracing your natural role can unlock tremendous success and fulfillment. Whether chasing big dreams or discovering where you fit, this episode will inspire you to own your path and grow confidently.

Subscribe  - https://www.buzzsprout.com/742955/share

______________________

NLU is not just a podcast; it’s a gateway to a wealth of resources designed to help you achieve your goals and dreams. From our Next Level Dreamliner to our Group Coaching, we offer a variety of tools and communities to support your personal development journey.

For more information, please check out our website at the link below. 👇

Website 💻  http://www.nextleveluniverse.com

_______________________

Any of these communities or resources are FREE to join and consume
Next Level Nation - https://www.facebook.com/groups/459320958216700
Next Level 5 To Thrive (free course) - ​​https://bit.ly/3xffver
Next Level U Book Club - https://bit.ly/3BQBYDr
Next Level Monthly Meet-up:  https://www.nextleveluniverse.com/monthly-meetups/

_______________________

We love connecting with you guys! Reach out on Instagram, Facebook, or via email. We’re here to support you in your personal and professional development journey.

Instagram 📷
Kevin: https://www.instagram.com/neverquitkid/
Alan: https://www.instagram.com/alazaros88/

Facebook ✍
Alan: https://www.facebook.com/alan.lazaros
Kevin: https://www.facebook.com/kevin.palmieri.90/

Email 💬
Kevin@nextleveluniverse.com
Alan@nextleveluniverse.com

LinkedIn ✍
Kevin: https://www.linkedin.com/in/kevin-palmieri-5b7736160/
Alan: https://www.linkedin.com/in/alanlazarosllc/

_______________________

Show notes:
(3:01) Embracing being a “number two.”
(4:57) Self-awareness Vs. Self-improvement
(6:29) Building from self-acceptance
(7:14) The Michael Jordan and Scottie Pippen analogy
(9:31) The importance of finding your role
(11:48) Meet like-minded people and jumpstart your journey to achieving your dreams while optimizing your life. Join Next Level Group Coaching. https://bit.ly/4eE5RF5
(13:19) Choosing growth over ego
(20:19) The power of being true to yourself
(22:52) Outro

🎙️ Hosted by Kevin Palmieri and Alan Lazaros

Next Level University is a top-ranked daily podcast for dream chasers and self-improvement lovers. With over 2,100 episodes, we help you level up in life, love, health, and wealth one day at a time. Subscribe for real, honest, no-fluff growth every single day.

Transcript

Kevin Palmieri 0:00

now. Is that necessarily the freedom that you desire? I don't know. Is that the work schedule you desire? I don't know. But it's very hard and I think that's why so many, so many people start and then they think, well, you know what this dream chasing thing isn't for me. I don't agree.

Alan Lazaros 0:16

I think the position you're in might not be for you if you do feel like you're capable of a lot and you feel like you're barely scratching the surface of your true potential and you feel like you're capable of a lot and you feel like you're barely scratching the surface of your true potential and you feel like you're deep down, there's a part of you that knows you're better than this, that, like I'm alan, you're so much better than this. This is that is always going, alan, you are so much better than this. Get it together, sir welcome.

Kevin Palmieri 0:41

Welcome to Next Level University. I'm your host, kevin Palmieri, and.

Alan Lazaros 0:45

I'm your co-host, alan Lazarus, at.

Kevin Palmieri 0:49

NLU, we believe in a heart-driven but no BS approach to holistic self-improvement for dream chasers.

Alan Lazaros 0:55

Our goal with every episode is to help you level up your life love health and wealth.

Kevin Palmieri 1:01

We bring you a new episode every single day, on topics like confidence, self-belief, self-worth, self-awareness, relationships, boundaries, consistency, habits and defining your own unique version of success.

Alan Lazaros 1:17

Self-improvement in your pocket, every day, from anywhere, completely free.

Kevin Palmieri 1:24

Welcome to Next Level University, next Level Nation, welcome back to another episode of Next Level University, where we help you level up your life, your love, your health and your wealth. Today, for episode number 1,914,. Not everyone is meant to be a number one, so we're going to hit you with a 15 minute episode because Alan and I have been doing a lot of talking behind the scenes today and there's a lot of stuff moving on and we ate up some of the time that we were going to spend recording. But we're going to give you 15 minutes of high quality next level-ness. So today in the Dreamliner, the question was something along the lines of what's your biggest strength and what's your biggest, your biggest weakness, and I've put for. My biggest strength, I put, I would say, consistency and humility, and then my biggest weakness, I put my tireless work ethic. I just can't shut it off, no matter what, I'm always thinking of getting better. No, I put that I require a leader. I'm a really good number two. I am not a good number one. I've I say this all the time on other podcasts because people have accidentally introduced me as the ceo and I always say I'm not the CEO, I shouldn't be the CEO. I'm the CSO and for a short time I was the CFO. Wasn't supposed to be the CFO either. That's the person who's in charge of the money Shouldn't have been me, but that's what I got promoted to at the time and I've always kind of been the number two.

Kevin Palmieri 3:01

When I was doing bodybuilding I had a coach who was my leader. He led me. He knew more than I did. He helped me stay accountable, he set the pace. My best friend, matt, he was kind of always the leader and I used to feel bad about that. I used to feel like I don't know if it was shame, if it was embarrassment, that I wasn't the leader. But I think as I've leaned more and more into who I am, it's gotten easier and easier to understand that about myself. And I joke with the team about that.

Kevin Palmieri 3:37

When there's a meeting where Alan's supposed to lead and it's me that day, I always say guys, this is going to be a blast, don't even worry about it, I'll have you off in probably 20 minutes max. I'm going to give you back like 40 minutes. We're not going to need the whole thing and I just make people laugh and I have a good time. That's really good for one out of every 10 meetings, but if every meeting was like that, it would just be like a comedy show and things probably wouldn't get progressed and move forward very quickly.

Kevin Palmieri 4:05

So my thought for this episode was one if you are meant to be like a number one, you're supposed to be the person that has the responsibility and, most of all, you're supposed to be the person that sets the pace. It's time to lean into that and it's time to own that number two. If you're just not that person, it's time to lean into that and it's time to own that number two. If you're just not that person, it's time to lean into that and it's time to own it, because you're really only hurting yourself. If you're, I don't want to say guilty, but if you're ashamed of that just like not everybody's supposed to be the quarterback, just like not everybody's supposed to be the chef I think it's really easy to assume that you're supposed to be the number one in everything you do, and maybe that's just not true and maybe letting go of that is actually empowering, not disempowering most uncomfortable episode ever yeah, anytime we put the spotlight on jeff for me.

Alan Lazaros 4:57

My voice is not great. I apologize everybody. I've been going through it out here doing it. I've been going through it out here doing it. Q4 has been a lot. It has been For the longest time. I actually, metaphorically and energetically, would shove Kev to the front of the stage. Yeah, and not only in business but in actual speeches. I would kind of cower behind him, sort of.

Kevin Palmieri 5:25

I kind of wanted him to be the guy. I don't know how you could cower behind me. You got a foot on me, it was tough, so everybody can kind of see you.

Alan Lazaros 5:30

I would want you to take the baton, I'd want you to run with it and I've really embraced this new version of me. I don't want to say a new version of me, a self-acceptance version We've talked a lot about. We did an episode about self-acceptance and then self-improvement. So if you don't self-accept first through self-awareness, you basically are going to try to improve yourself, and I've been guilty of this in the past too.

Alan Lazaros 5:57

I have one client I'm thinking of who was doing this for a long time and she just shifted this. She said I used to improve, to try to be different than who I really am. I wanted to be different, I wanted to be the smartest one, I wanted to be the, but I'm not. And she's shifted completely into self-awareness, which is okay. Maybe I'm not naturally gifted in intelligence, maybe I'm not naturally as rational as you, maybe I'm not all these things that I want to believe I am. Maybe I am actually naturally a little less driven.

Alan Lazaros 6:29

Okay, let's accept that. That's self-awareness and self-acceptance, and then let's improve from that place. Now that you've admitted that, now that you've accepted that and had compassion for yourself in that, now you can go okay. Well, now I'm going to work on it, now I'm going to make sure that I have someone in my corner who helps keep me driven, keep me on point, and this person's been coaching me for a long time. So the self-awareness of hey I need help. The self-acceptance of hey without a coach, I'm kind of lazy. I want to like that's. I mean, that's a superpower, it really is. Kev used to talk about how everyone wants to be Michael Jordan, but Scottie Pippen's got six rings too, baby, and for those of you who don't know the reference.

Alan Lazaros 7:14

I mean, everyone knows who Michael Jordan is. That's the most famous name in the world, right? One of but again you're losing sight of how old we are becoming. Sir, When's the last time? Michael Jordan?

Kevin Palmieri 7:26

played basketball.

Alan Lazaros 7:28

I don't know, 20 years ago, something like that.

Kevin Palmieri 7:30

Yeah, that's fair.

Alan Lazaros 7:32

Okay, michael Jordan is arguably the best basketball player to ever live and he won three championships, went and played baseball and then won three more championships yeah, shouldn't have done the baseball Back to back, yeah, and Scottie Pippen was the second best on the roster and that was the metaphor, essentially. And so what I've found really interesting is there are certain people that I coach and I coach a lot of business partners as well, not only now, but in the past, and what I've found is, usually it's the person who isn't actually supposed to be, maybe the leader that wants to be or wishes they could be, and it's the person who actually is supposed to take responsibility and self-accept the fact that they are more than that actually struggles to do so. And the point here is zebras shouldn't be lions and lions shouldn't be zebras. And whoever you are, whatever you are, be the best unique version of that.

Alan Lazaros 8:30

And your bodybuilding coach was harder working than you, way ahead of you, knew way more than you. Okay, so you're better off with him than without him. Matt was ahead of you, I was ahead of you. I think humility is. I know that I'm better in a great group of amazing people than me trying to be a rock star by myself.

Kevin Palmieri 8:58

I think 30% of something is better than 100% of nothing. I really do, because the 30% is going to be bigger than it's probably going to be bigger than the 100% of the other thing would be anyway, realistically, I think this is why this is why it's really hard to win at something new. So let's just use podcasts as an example. Let's say you start a podcast, you essentially are the leader and that podcast is only going to grow to the pace that you set, and everything is kind of that way.

Kevin Palmieri 9:31

If you're a dream chaser and again, I always use taking pictures If you're a photographer taking pictures on the weekend, it might benefit you if there was somebody there saying hey, kev just wanted to check in. What's your schedule? Look like this weekend, how many shoots do we have? That might be good for you. Now, is that necessarily the freedom that you desire? I don't know. Is that the work schedule you desire? I don't know, but it's very hard and I think that's why so many people start. And then they think well, you know what this dream chasing thing isn't for me. I don't agree. I think the position you're in might not be for you, because if I was at the helm of this you're in might not be for you, because if I was at the helm of this it would be going completely different.

Kevin Palmieri 10:15

And let's say hypothetically of course we didn't have the same level of results. I thought to myself well, being an entrepreneur isn't for me, no. Or being a dream chaser isn't for me no. That's not true. There are different positions, just like there are different positions in sports. Maybe I'm not supposed to be the quarterback Alan's light is freaking out sports. Maybe I'm not supposed to be the quarterback Alan's light is freaking out. Maybe I'm not supposed to be the punter, maybe whatever.

Alan Lazaros 10:39

But it doesn't mean you don't belong in the field. It doesn't mean that maybe you just what would you say to the people? Go ahead, sorry. What would you say to the people out there that are saying because this has happened a lot in the past of why are you so self-deprecating, kevin? You need to know your own value, and there's certain people who have said that to him and what I actually find, what I've found and this is scary to share is some of those people I actually think are delusional about their own capabilities and they want to.

Alan Lazaros 11:04

Everyone wants to root for an underdog and I understand that I. My point is is I actually think you're owning the fact when a lot of people think you're self-deprecating number one, you're joking half the time. Number two, when you aren't joking and you're serious and you're actually vulnerable, saying I'm not supposed to be the most driven, I'm not, naturally, as driven as other people they think, oh well, you got you. Stop putting yourself down, man. You're what, if you're just accepting a part of you that they haven't accepted within themselves yet?

Kevin Palmieri 11:34

Well, can it? I think self-deprecation is when it's not true.

Alan Lazaros 11:37

Same, but they think it's not true. They think you're that's right. They think the world of you and they think you're.

Meet like-minded people and jumpstart your journey to achieving your dreams while optimizing your life. Join Next Level Group Coaching.

Kevin Palmieri 11:43

And I appreciate that. I appreciate that. I appreciate that Next level nation. What is happening? If you've thought to yourself, I want to try coaching, but you don't really know where to start, group coaching would be a wonderful place for you. That's really why we created it in the first place. We start a new round every 90 days. So if you're hearing this, go to the website nextleveluniversecom and we have the landing page where you can actually hold your spot right now. Even if there's a group going on right now, you can still lock your spot for the next one. The biggest thing that we've seen is, as we get closer and closer to the date, unfortunately, some people end up missing. The group fills up and they can't do it, and then they end up regretting that. So please head over to the website the link will be in the show notes and we would love to see you there.

Kevin Palmieri 12:31

I also think the world of myself in some ways so much In fact, I'd rather just be honest about the places where I'm not great. I think that's. I think that's real confidence. And when I say I think the world of myself, I don't mean that from like an egotistical place, I mean that from a place of. I just want to admit the truth. I am not as driven as Alan. I don't wake up in the morning and get pulled out of bed because the mission is talking to me. It doesn't work that way for me. I force myself out of bed and I go do the shit that I know I'm supposed to. That's me being honest. I just want to be honest about it, and I shouldn't be the CEO, I shouldn't be the leader. I don't have any experience. Why, In what world would that be a better idea than what we're doing? Only in the world where I wanted to feel good about myself.

Alan Lazaros 13:19

Yeah.

Kevin Palmieri 13:19

At the expense of everybody else.

Alan Lazaros 13:21

How do you Thank you for saying that? How do you, how do you actually decide in advance that you'd rather be more successful than feel good about yourself? Because that what's the quote there's. There's some it's called a psychological immune system and basically what happens is our ego protects us from the hard truth about ourselves. And there's this quote that says it's our light, not our darkness, that most frightens us. That a lot of people do resonate with I I certainly do, meaning it's it's.

Alan Lazaros 13:58

It's scary for me to face how much I believe I'm capable of, because it scares me to to own what I know is possible for me and and for anyone out there. If you do feel like you're capable of a lot and you feel like you're barely scratching the surface of your true potential and you feel like you're deep down, there's a part of you that knows you're better than this, that, like I'm alan, you're so much better than this. This is that is always going, alan, you are so much better than this. Get it together, sir. And a lot of people think well, you're so hard on yourself, don't shame yourself. What if that's not? What if that's me? Knowing deep down like this is barely scratching my true potential, whereas kev on the other side of that is going, honestly, I'm I'm maxing out over here. This is, I'm grateful. This is farther than I ever thought I'd get. For sure. That's a very, I think, very honest conversation and I think that one of the reasons why it's so triggering for some people to talk about this is because they are on one of those ends and they aren't actually owning.

Alan Lazaros 15:00

I know some people who are not owning the fact that, honestly, you are barely I. I have one client I'm thinking of and he's he went to his wife after he's like I've never heard someone talk to me that way. I said, brother, I'm not impressed, no offense, like you are so much more capable than this and, by the way, the reason I can get away with saying this is because you know it. This dude's a freaking genius. What are we doing here, man? You're letting it ride and you know it, I can tell, whereas some people I'm blown away.

Alan Lazaros 15:26

We all have different potential. If your potential is level 10 and you're only hitting it at two, how dare you? Shame on you, not shame Guilt? If you're at level eight, if you have eight potential and you're, you're hammering 10 every single day, pushing it, doing it, putting it all on the court. I'm, I'm blown away I'm. I have more reverence for that than someone skating by on natural talent. And so my question for you is how? How have you overcome the psychological immune system of I'd rather actually succeed than feel? Just feel good about myself in the moment, like how have you accepted these?

Kevin Palmieri 16:02

things, because when you feel like an imposter, you don't feel good in the moment you don't. It just comes across as the fact that you do, but you don't. You when I a lot of it was the understanding that when we got guests big guests, and when we were growing and when we were becoming bigger, I wanted people to think that I was in charge and I was the reason why.

Kevin Palmieri 16:29

But there was always the imposter syndrome of because I felt like I would get left behind if I wasn't. I think you know what, if Alan wakes up one day and realizes he doesn't need me, that so if I hold the energetic positioning of that, maybe it keeps me safe and because I want people to feel like I'm capable, that I think at times I borrowed other people's belief of my capability before I had it, but then eventually it crosses a chasm where then I just feel like an imposter, because if anybody was to say, ask me certain questions about hey, why do you guys do things the way you do? And I wouldn't have an answer, well, I calculated the algorithm.

Alan Lazaros 17:11

Yeah, it was something I learned in school.

Kevin Palmieri 17:14

Learned about it in school. Just kind of made sense to me, it spoke to me I downloaded it.

Alan Lazaros 17:17

It's like no.

Kevin Palmieri 17:20

No, that really isn't it. So I think eventually, as I became more confident, I was able to stop hiding behind that thing and now I feel better, just admitting it, I feel much better. I'm telling you there are times where people ask me questions on podcasts and I literally say it depends on what Alan says, like what's the future look like for you guys? Like, honestly, I don't really know, because I didn't know what it was going to be like to get here. So I can't tell you what it's going to be like five years from now. Alan knows better than I do. When you interview him, you can ask him and he'll have a more specific answer. But this is the truth. This is my truthful answer. This is what I'm going to give you because I don't want to hide behind ego or insecurity when I leave this episode.

Kevin Palmieri 18:04

I have to go live a life and I want to make sure that I'm not pretending to be somebody and then going be somebody else and then like who do I have to be? Who am I supposed to be on this podcast? Who am I supposed to be when I coach? And who am I supposed to be with my wife? And who am I have to be? Who am I supposed to be on this podcast? Who am I supposed to be when I coach? And who am I supposed to be with my wife? And who am I supposed to be with you? And then, as a leader on the team, who am I supposed to be? There's too many supposed to be's.

Alan Lazaros 18:28

It's just it's not gonna work. So that, yeah, I wanna give a shout out to Brandon. I know we one of the best examples I've ever seen of self-acceptance before self-improvement. He had a podcast called Decide and Design and he had told you hey, I'm going to try to be like Gary Vee, I want to be like you guys when I grow up. Playfully. And he produced his show with us. We did Next Level Podcast Solutions and he eventually you and him had a conversation and he was like I'm not cut out for this. This is not my natural state, I'm not. I'll share this because I think this will land in a unique way.

The power of being true to yourself

Alan Lazaros 19:05

I was on a podcast once with a woman named Debra and she interviewed me and I said I just want to be transparent. She asked how we achieved what we've achieved and I said the answer no one wants to hear is that Kevin and I worked pretty much every day for 10 years. I said I haven't taken a full day off in 10 years. And she said, alan, that's so bad for you. I said, no, debra, that's bad for you. I said I don't work 16 hour days every day, but I never, I'm never not, going to wake up and build something of of meaning toward my goals and dreams. I I've never not really done that, I just I just wake up in the morning ready to build something Of value. And particularly when I hit 30, I decided I'm inside myself. I never share these things because I'm a freaking coward but I decided when I hit 30 I would never again do something that doesn't build toward something meaningful, meaning the compound effect of something I'm never gonna like. Just go do something that doesn't build towards something meaningful, meaning the compound effect of something I'm never going to like. Just go do something that doesn't build towards something else. So a physique is something you build. So I'm going to build my physique. A relationship with Amelia is something I build. A relationship with a client is something you build. Everything is building toward goals and dreams. It's building towards something of greater value and I made that decision because I'm not getting any younger. I'm just going to ignite the compound effect and everything.

Alan Lazaros 20:19

So anyways, back to my point with Brandon. Brandon realized I'm not like Gary Vee, I'm Brandon. Gary Vee hasn't taken a day off in 30 years either. That's who he is. I resonate with that. I told Emilia when we first got together I'm never taking a day off. Well, what about when you have kids? I said never, never, I don't want to. It's not who I am. I've done 1016 days of exercise. I just want to be accepted for who I am.

Alan Lazaros 20:56

I would rather exercise than not exercise If I had two options. Now, it doesn't mean I always want to do it. Sometimes I have to push myself. But the point is is that I'm on that end, and so this is the most vulnerable thing ever for me. But Brandon just owned it. You know what? I'd rather be on you guys's team than do my own thing alone. That isn't going to work out anyway because it's not aligned with who I naturally am. So I hope everyone out there, including me, can accept who they really are and then grow from that authentic place. Because you're right, man, trying to be something different in every room is goddamn exhausting, possible.

Alan Lazaros 21:36

I always talk about dogs. There's 240 breeds or whatever, I don't know for the dog experts out there, but I do know that a german shepherd is different than a shih tzu, a shih tzu which is different than little tucker, which is different than I. Have two cats. It's a fascinating metaphor. One of them is excellence through and through. Tauriel is the most magnificent. She can open doors. She. When we play with her, she's precise and everything. She studies everything. She. Every time we bring something new into the house, she studies the whole thing, upside down and sideways. She's the most magnificent cat. I love her. Tilly is not anything like that. Tilly just blobs around. She loves to chill. She's so such a love. She's getting fat like she loves life. It's all good, she is tilly, tilly's getting a little fat. I got. I got them both on some different diets going on here.

Kevin Palmieri 22:24

I gotta feed tau because tilly keeps eating all tau's food, so it's a whole as much as I I'd much like to go deep into your, your pets and their lives. I do have to hop because I have a. I have a podcast breakthrough session that's right, that's right's right.

Alan Lazaros 22:34

I'm sorry.

Kevin Palmieri 22:35

No, no, you're good, you're good, you expressed a lot and I'm grateful for that for sure.

Alan Lazaros 22:41

Whatever you are, be you.

Outro

Kevin Palmieri 22:43

Yeah, it comes with courage. As you become more courageous, I think you can become more authentic. I think courage has to come first and I think a decision has to come before both of those. All right, we don't have fans, we have family. We will talk to you all tomorrow.

Alan Lazaros 23:01

Talk to you soon.

Kevin Palmieri 23:04

Thanks for joining us for another episode of Next Level University. We love connecting with the Next Level family.

Alan Lazaros 23:10

We mean it when we say family. If you ever need anything, please reach out to us directly.

Kevin Palmieri 23:22

Everything you need to get a hold of us is in the show notes. Thank you again and we will talk to you tomorrow.