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Why It’s Important To Test Your Beliefs (1918)
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What if your beliefs aren’t as accurate as you think? In this episode, Kevin and Alan dive into how our beliefs influence our actions, emotions, and outcomes. Through personal stories, practical tips, and thought-provoking reflections, they challenge you to reexamine and update the assumptions that shape your life. Are your beliefs holding you back? If they no longer serve you, it’s time to make a change.
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Show notes:
(1:55) The importance of beliefs
(6:08) The role of inherited and unconscious beliefs
(9:23) Reflecting on and updating outdated beliefs
(14:32) Next Level Dreamliner: the planner, agenda, journal, and habit tracker to rule them all. Get a copy: https://a.co/d/9fPpxEt
(17:12) Building belief in yourself by leaning on what you already trust
(23:43) Why testing beliefs leads to growth and clarity
(24:47) Outro
Send a text to Kevin and Alan!
🎙️ Hosted by Kevin Palmieri and Alan Lazaros
Next Level University is a top-ranked daily podcast for dream chasers and self-improvement lovers. With over 2,100 episodes, we help you level up in life, love, health, and wealth one day at a time. Subscribe for real, honest, no-fluff growth every single day.
I've been reflecting a lot on my belief system, and my belief back then was try me, I'm never going to give up. I'm never going to stop Like. You can doubt me as much as you want, it's not going to matter, I'm right, I'm going to win eventually. I will Watch me do it and that's a very powerful belief. It's a powerful belief and anyone can adopt it.
Kevin PalmieriYou just got to practice it. I think sometimes your belief in the thing is a great way to start building the belief in yourself. If you don't have belief in yourself right now, what do you have belief in that you could lean on? Welcome to Next Level University. I'm your host, kevin Palmieri, and I'm your co-host Alan Lazarus At. Nlu, we believe in a heart-driven but no BS approach to holistic self-improvement for dream chasers.
Alan LazarosOur goal with every episode is to help you level up your life love health and wealth.
Kevin PalmieriWe bring you a new episode every single day, on topics like confidence, self-belief, self-worth, self-awareness, relationships, boundaries, consistency, habits and defining your own unique version of success.
Alan LazarosSelf-improvement in your pocket, every day, from anywhere, completely free.
The importance of beliefs
Kevin PalmieriWelcome to Next Level University, next Level Nation. Welcome back to another episode of Next Level University, where we help you level up your life, your love, your health and your wealth. Today, for episode number 1918, why it's important to test your beliefs. I was on a wonderful podcast yesterday and I realize that's how like 99.9% of my stories start, but I don't really do anything else. It's pretty much it, so you're gonna have to get used to that. Please forgive me in advance and we were talking about core beliefs, core values and core aspirations, because we were talking about relationships and all sorts of different stuff and the host shout out to Cody really cool dude. He said have you ever noticed somebody that gets offended when you make them question their belief?
Kevin Palmierieven if it's not intentional, never, never, ever. And I said, yeah, of course. And he said why do you think that is? And I said I happen to know everything about everything, just like I talked in the previous episode, I said, honestly, the thing that jumps off the page for me, and this is the reason why consistency is so important if you want to use it in a positive way when you believe something consistently, you take action on that thing consistently and you get results consistent with that behavior and eventually that belief becomes your identity. So I said, if you and I were on this interview and you said to me, kev, self-improvement doesn't matter at all, something would happen in my brain and I'd have to. I'd have to sift through what's going on, what would happen.
Alan LazarosMy brain went you are inaccurate. Self-improvement is absolutely critical. I don't know. I would feeling great life things would just go around.
Kevin PalmieriI'd absolutely critical. I don't know I would Filling a great life. Things would just go around. I'd have to think. I don't know what would happen. It would just Things would get boggled for a minute and I'd probably ask why do you think that? What's leading you up to saying that I need more information? Why are we saying why it? It's like saying oxygen is bad. Some is definitely. You breathe the wrong. You go into a cave, you breathe the wrong air. That's it, you're done.
Alan LazarosNo, oxygen is bad.
Kevin PalmieriIt's not true. I'm going to need you to look that up. This is something about me that you don't know. Let me F you up with the truth okay, brother, what oxygen is bad? I'm about to tell you, if you let me, don't Google it.
Alan LazarosDon't Google it.
Kevin PalmieriDon't Google it. Yet let's say I've watched a lot about cave diving. Okay, I know some shit that you don't know, that I know.
Alan LazarosOkay, okay.
Kevin PalmieriOften what happens in cave diving is you'll find a pocket of air and you think it's safe to breathe. Don't it's oxygen, son?
Alan Lazarosyou breathe it's, it's oxygen and other stuff. Well, so what? That's?
Kevin Palmierimy point is that the oxygen isn't unsafe.
Alan LazarosIt's the other stuff that's unsafe well, you know what, or? Whatever, what did you say?
Kevin Palmierimethane say Methane, methane, mm-hmm. Why are you saying it with an accent?
Alan LazarosI don't know, I have no idea. I didn't know that I did. It's called methane I watched a film from New Zealand yesterday, so apparently they're called Kiwis. I don't know. Is that bad? I don't know, I have a client from New.
Kevin PalmieriI was going to say you'll find out pretty quickly whether or not it's bad.
Alan LazarosI don't think so. I hope I didn't offend anyone.
Kevin PalmieriI've heard a lot of people say that, but I've also heard a lot of people say a lot of dumb stuff.
Alan LazarosApparently my dog Tucker Bush, tucker Wolf.
Kevin PalmieriYeah.
Alan LazarosApparently Bush Tucker is from New Zealand and apparently Tucker. I found this out last night. This is devastating news. Emilia had come back from New Zealand and she got a dog named tucker and apparently bush. Tucker is something that you eat in the woods and I was like oh my god, that's devastating news she said no, no, we're not gonna eat bush tucker. We love bush tucker wolf.
Kevin PalmieriSo anyways, little side tangent cave diving can be bush tucker, new zealand oxygen can be bad is all I'm saying no, no oxygen can't Oxygen mixed with other chemicals. What if it's too much oxygen?
Kevin PalmieriThen yeah, yeah yeah, I'm going to push a postcard over it. It's going to say, politely, fuck you. That's what it's going to say I'm going to need you to take a science class. Man, pardon my French. I took science and was very bad at it. We used to play quarters. Very bad at it, we used to play quarters. Remember that game? You put your knuckles on the table Undefeated. Nobody could beat me. You could take the whole thing. There's girls watching. I'm going to win this. I'm bleeding all over the table, it doesn't matter. I need to win this.
Alan LazarosYou think you were significance driven at all? I was going to say going back to significance.
Kevin PalmieriOkay, back to where we were. I think that's why beliefs are very, very challenging to change, because eventually they become your identity. And then we were talking about I don't know how we got on this tangent, but it was similar to this and we were talking about how sometimes I get, for a lot of us, we don't even really choose our beliefs. Our beliefs are passed on to us. Or somebody says you're good at math, you're good at reading, you're short, you're tall, you're strong, you're not strong, whatever, and then that's the belief. That kind of runs you forever. And I had a thought and I didn't get to host this, but I was going to say is it really a belief? If you don't know, there's any other way of thinking is it really a belief, or is that just your? Is that just reality to you?
Alan Lazarosand that's my opening to this this is why I loved the hyperconscious podcast. I was the very first guest on kevin's podcast back in 2017.
Alan LazarosYep, march of 2017. The hyperconscious podcast changed the way you think, change the way you act, change the way you live. That's right, shout out. Hyper conscious means acutely aware, if you google it. But the reason I loved that is because of what you just said, which is it's not a choice unless you know there's an option. Like no one, I didn't choose english as my first language because I didn't know there was any other options, right. So people say, well, I live in a free country, okay, but if you didn't know that you had other options, you didn't actually choose. And my podcast way back. Conversations change lives. My YouTube channel, kevin was one of my first guests. He was my first guest. One of my first guests. He was my first guest.
Alan LazarosI wanted to pull back the curtain on what it was actually like to be an engineer or a doctor or a lawyer or a nurse, because I made a decision to be an engineer on very little data. Alan, you're good at math. Engineers make a lot of money. Engineers are good at math. You should be an engineer, and part of it was the engineer MBA Steve Jobs thing. But ultimately, when I was sitting behind a desk designing circuits at Tyco Safety Products, which is now Simplex Grinnell. I realized, you know this might have been a mistake and so obviously I went a different way product management, all this other stuff and then I got my MBA in business. But if you don't know, there's another option. It's not really a choice and you just mentioned. Is it really a belief if you don't know any different? The answer is yes, it is a belief, but it's an unconscious one that you basically can't change, so it's just, it just feels like your reality.
Reflecting on and updating outdated beliefs
Alan LazarosYeah, it feels like your reality, yeah it feels like your reality, all beliefs feel like our reality until we realize they're not and you can change them out. I always. I don't know if this lands, but the reason why I am a successful coach is because I reprogram everybody and I go into your software, your beliefs, and I help you see yourself, others and the world more accurately. I've been doing that with you for eight years now, 27 years now. Yeah, that's been a while. And we saw two episodes ago or three episodes ago, kev held up a video of him. Nine years ago, that version of you didn't have very solid beliefs.
Kevin PalmieriMy software is rusty.
Alan LazarosYeah, your software. It's like running DOS or Windows 95. Garbage. And I actually told Kevin a story earlier this morning. I was on my Facebook. There was a young girl who I dated, yeah, 10 years ago and I had gotten out of a long-term relationship and we started talking and I just went through the Facebook because she added me as a friend and I went and I clicked Facebook Messenger somehow and it came up and it was oh, I'm just going to look at what I was like back then. So I was 26 at the time, I was living in Worcester with my girlfriend on a lake and at that point it was actually my ex, my girlfriend on a lake, and at that point it was actually my ex.
Alan LazarosAnd I was going through this conversation and I was telling kev it is 10 years. I've updated every belief. I've updated what I believe about myself, others, the world like. Reading that conversation was good for me. It was embarrassing because I can't believe how ignorant I was. I don't think I understood. Let me. Let me rephrase I'm 26. I was an educated man. I wasn't bad, I wasn't disrespectful. I'm going to be very clear about that.
Alan LazarosHowever compared to me now it's not freaking close. I I've coached Hundreds of women. At this stage, I understand women so much more than I did back then. I didn't understand what the hell I was doing For sure.
Alan LazarosAnd my beliefs about myself, other people, women, the world. They were just wrong. They were inaccurate, they weren't as accurate as they are now, and that's why I always use the iPhone as a metaphor. The very first iPhone in 2007,. Kevin and I were seniors in high school. It was a revolutionary breakthrough product. But the iPhone 14 that I have in front of me I think the 16 is out now that revolutionary breakthrough product in 2007,. If you compare it to your phone now, would be the worst phone ever of all time. But we just don't compare that often, so we don't. We do we underestimate what changing your beliefs can do. If you change your belief about something, it changes everything you say, think, do, feel and believe, and most of it's unconscious.
Kevin PalmieriYou want to, you really want to Jeff your Saturday. You wake up and then go read some Facebook messages you sent a decade ago. That's one, one way to just. It's probably not a good way to start any day, but especially saturday. I went back to bed after that I needed to.
Alan LazarosI needed to work through some embarrassment, but I will say it did drive me, because I, I, I drew the conclusion okay, imagine what I could be at 46. Yeah, and that was. I think that was an empowering belief. It was okay, I'm embarrassed, but imagine what I could be at 46, because I want to be 46. Looking back at me now saying, oh, he didn't know anything compared to me.
Kevin PalmieriNow, I was the sad kid who, when I messaged a girl and she said, oh yeah, no, I'm sorry, somehow my phone got attached to a rocket that could send to the moon and I didn't see your text message, it's like oh yeah, no, I'm sorry, my phone. Somehow my phone got attached to a rocket that I could send to the moon. I didn't see your text message. He's like oh yeah, no, I'll just fire five more over and then I would just get ghosted. It's like the moon did it. Another rocket came down and swooped up that phone.
Alan LazarosWhat are the odds of that? On the same day. I texted him Same day Dog ate my phone feeling significant wanted and belonging. And you said back then you didn't feel that way. And the way that you were meeting those needs were probably not what was best for you.
Kevin PalmieriBack then no, definitely not. No, no, I don't know if I was really finding a way to meet that. I think I was trying. That's one of the things fitness did.
Kevin PalmieriOne of the things fitness did was it helped me feel significant. This is the other thing too, and we'll tie it to this. I always had a belief that even if the thing that I was doing got made fun of but it was in the significance realm, it was worth it. I connected that dot recently. You know how I've always just done random stuff and people. I didn't really care whether or not people judged it Like going. I trained to be a professional fighter.
Kevin PalmieriDo you know how many people shit on me when I was doing that? That was like such a common thing. But I like the fact that it was something that was so unique that it almost didn't matter. Of course you're gonna shit on me. You don't know anything about it. Of course it makes. Yeah, of course I think I'm gonna be one of the best athletes on the planet. Yeah, no, I can understand why you shouldn't me. I remember some of the people that used to come to the gas station used to make fun of me. It's like, yeah, no, I yes, because this is like a script of the movie the small town kid who doesn't go to college, works at a gas station, then becomes a professional fighter. I can 1,000% understand why you would doubt that.
Alan LazarosDid it not?
Kevin Palmieriaffect you? No, not at that point. No.
Alan LazarosDude, that I was thinking about this recently. It's the end of the year, so we're doing a lot of reflecting. Yeah, of the year, so we're doing a lot of reflecting.
Next Level Dreamliner: the planner, agenda, journal, and habit tracker to rule them all. Get a copy:
Kevin PalmieriYeah it's, it's about to get heavy. The next couple weeks will be heavy for sure hello, hello, hello.
Alan LazarosNlu listener. Thank you, as always, for listening to next level university. Real quick. I just want to jump in and let you know about the next level dreamliner. This is a journal that I use every single day. Achieve your dreams 90 days at a time. It breaks down your dreams into goals, milestones and daily habits. We hope you enjoy it. The link will be in the show notes.
Alan LazarosI was doubted so much I was in a therapy call with my therapist Her name's Carol and she had me do sort of just go down memory lane and I have this part of me that is very driven and it gets ignited when people doubt me. And I talked recently about the underdog and how I don't feel like I'm as doubted as I once was. So I don't feel as driven. I used to have so many people doubt me and I was definitely bullied a ton. I brought up some memories recently where it was just simple things Like I had a neighbor, jeff and Zach. They were three years older than me, two and three years older than me, and Jeff was in my sister's grade and they used to give me the football and say try to get past us. Over and over and over again every day for like weeks after school, and when my sister found out, she threw an ice chunk at Jeff's head, and he ran home crying and then called my. They called my parents, and we got in trouble.
Alan LazarosMy point is, though, is I just was like try me, let's go, and they would. They would beat the F out of me, kind of dude, and, and that was like not abnormal for me back then, but what I'm? My point of all this is, I've been reflecting a lot on my belief system, and my belief back then was try me me. I'm never going to give up, I'm never going to stop. You can doubt me as much as you want, it's not going to matter, I'm right, I'm going to win eventually. I will Watch me do it, and that's a very powerful belief. It's a powerful belief, and anyone can adopt it. You just got to practice it. I don't know where I didn't choose that. I wasn't like oh, I'm going to reprogram myself to never give up. I just had that somehow, and I never lost it, and I think now you know, I'm 36 and I have this magnificent life, and it's very different than where I came from, and that's a understatement.
Kevin PalmieriA little different. Yeah, slightly different.
Alan LazarosAnd the truth is it wouldn't be if I didn't have that belief. So let's go back to the basics here real quick. What do you believe in, what are your beliefs and what is the belief that's not serving you? Because if you don't have that belief in yourself, or in your potential, or in the potential of the future, it is affecting you. It is affecting you.
Kevin PalmieriI think sometimes your belief in the thing is a great way to start building the belief in yourself. If you don't have belief in yourself right now, what do you have belief in that you could lean on? I connected this when you were talking. I think the reason when people doubted me for stuff like that is I've always had a very high level of belief in what I could do physically, because I remember that ignited me. I would go for runs after work. I would had a very high level of belief in what I could do physically. Yeah, it's always. I've always because I remember that ignited me. I would go for runs after work, I would do sprints, I would go to the gym and lift heavy. It's like, okay, you don't know what the fuck you're talking about I remember kev I can run a six minute mile.
Kevin PalmieriI was like dude a little arrogant, a little arrogant on him. It's good, though, hey at least you tried.
Alan LazarosAlmost killed me. Yeah, he made it three laps around the track.
Kevin PalmieriThree laps and then on the third one. In your defense, we lifted for two hours before that. I appreciate that, but that had no bearing on my results.
Alan LazarosThank you, it wasn't going to matter To your point that self-belief in physical feats was what you were focused on.
Kevin PalmieriImagine if you believed in yourself, to that level, intellectually or business-wise or podcasting. I mean, yeah, I I've told this story occasionally, but I I remember. So I wanted to be a wrestler when I was younger and like hulk hogan like hulk hogan more the ultimate warrior. Hulk hogan was kind of a buffoon, but I remember they used to hit, hit each other over the head with folding chairs. I didn't realize at the time that the chairs that they use are like made for that.
Alan LazarosDidn't know that I didn't know that.
Kevin PalmieriThis is why fake entertainment is dangerous, for kids, but my cousin hit me over the head with a very heavy metal folding chair.
Alan LazarosMore than once and I can like feel it right now.
Kevin PalmieriIt's like your neck stiffens and your jaw's like whoa, that was a good one. And he beat the hell out of me with a wiffle ball bat. He used to throw me in thorn bushes and again there was always that little piece of me that was like yeah, it's honestly not that bad.
Alan LazarosI don't really mind it. I don't know. I kind of enjoy the fact that you and I have fucking problems for sure.
Kevin PalmieriYeah, there are some issues that we have.
Alan LazarosNo, it makes sense why we have some grit, you know.
Kevin PalmieriI told I was working out with Bruce, my 76-year-old gym partner. Bruce is good people and I hammered out a set of heavy shoulder presses and he's like how many did you get? I think I was doing 75s, I think. And he's like how many did you get? And I said I got 15. So let me tell you a little secret Bruce, you got 15 with 75s.
Alan LazarosI'm jacking it. I told you Nice work, I'm coming back.
Kevin PalmieriI appreciate it. I appreciate it. Nice work.
Alan LazarosYeah, I said, bruce, I'm going to. That's not easy.
Kevin PalmieriNo, no, it's brutalI. Anytime I'm lifting and I want to hit a certain number of reps, I literally imagine that my wife and my family have gotten abducted and if I don't lift the weight, they don't come home. And I say that's where I go. Bruce, I'm not, I.
Alan LazarosI had a moment today. I've lifted with him. I go there.
Kevin PalmieriI had a moment today where I was squatting and I was like I mean, if it blows out? It blows out like I mean, are the odds of it any higher than usual? Probably not, like let's just squat the weight and see what happens.
Alan LazarosAnd everything went fine, everything went fine. You think I'm reckless man. You're reckless too.
Kevin PalmieriThat's all I'm saying that's a belief, the belief of yeah, okay, two, two thoughts. The belief of, honestly, I'm not gonna get into a car accident, it doesn't matter if I wear my seat belt versus the belief of, yeah, I probably won't get in a car accident, but if I do, this thing could save my life.
Kevin PalmieriThose are two drastically different lives. I know a lot of people that would do a lot of drinking and driving, and that was something that I I don't think I ever did. I did get in the car once or twice with someone who had been drinking.
Alan LazarosThat I'm not proud of. You had a belief that drinking and driving was stupid.
Kevin PalmieriI had a belief that I was, no matter what something bad was going to happen. No matter what something bad was going to happen.
Alan LazarosIsn't it wild how much beliefs affect everything.
Kevin PalmieriBeliefs affect everything. I was never the guy who had reckless sex growing up Ever Ever. I never did, never, ever, ever did I have reckless, risky sex Ever. I was of the belief that something could go horribly wrong, and that's accurate.
Alan LazarosIt often does.
Kevin PalmieriIt often does. But, yeah, enough about weird things that I thought growing up. But, yes, I your beliefs even, not just the things that are about you, about how you see everything about the world how you see the world.
Alan LazarosDo you believe that looks are everything? Do you look that believe that looks are nothing? I, I would just say this this is the last thing I promise what I've found and I can authentically say this I do believe that the more accurate your beliefs are, the better off you'll be, because you can just make choices. Are you guaranteed to die if you drink drive? No, does it increase the probability you get in an accident? Yes, is that probably unintelligent or not optimal? Yes, so what? Probably unintelligent or not optimal? Yes, so what I try to do with clients is I use the self-driving car analogy all the time.
Alan LazarosYour self-driving car needs self-awareness, current location. It needs an accurate destination, location goals and then it needs accurate data of the terrain. And that's really how you see the world. Is it impossible to build a million dollar business? No, is everyone going to build a million dollar business with very little effort? Also, no. So your belief system, hopefully, is updating, and that's the real thing too. 10 years ago, me talking to that girl, my beliefs are just more accurate now. I didn't understand as much as I do now about myself, others and the world, and that's really what this podcast is ultimately about. Half the episodes are about self-awareness. Half of them are about fitness or health or wealth or love, and if you are someone who is more aware, you can make better choices. But for the very last thing, it's what belief is no longer serving you that you can get rid of or update, update, update your belief. You don't have to get rid of it completely. All guys are bad, not true A lot?
Kevin Palmieriare though.
Alan LazarosSo you know, if you think no guys are bad, you're naive and you're going to get hurt. If you think all guys are bad, you're going to be alone. You know. So. Beliefs we should talk about beliefs a lot more than we do, probably.
Kevin PalmieriWell it's. I think everything is on that end. That's why it's the. And Do some women cheat, yes. Do some men cheat, yes. Do they all cheat?
Alan LazarosNo, I think that's why I love statistics, because it gives me better data for my beliefs.
Kevin PalmieriNumbers get. And I think to wrap this with a bow and touch on why we named it, why it's important to test your beliefs, that's why it's so important to have a belief for a long period of time and then test it. And then that's why it's so important to have a belief for a long period of time and then test it and then see what happens. I believe that this oh, when I did that, it didn't work. Or now, in reflection, that's a belief that has served me way more than I ever thought it was going to. That type of stuff, always coming back to reflection reflection.
Alan LazarosBeliefs all have consequences, both good and bad, and I think the more accurate your belief, I think the more likely you can create a life and design a life that is aligned with what you want. I would concur with you. I believe I have to go to book club.
Kevin PalmieriYou do have to go to book club. I believe that I'm going to keep you here for seven minutes, so you're a minute late.
Alan LazarosSpeaking of book club.
Kevin PalmieriThe Art of.
Alan LazarosThinking Clearly, updating your belief, your Belief System Around the Cognitive Biases by my man, rolf DeBelley, and we go over five chapters per week Self-improvement books with self-improvement people, next level books with next level people. The link to register will be in the show notes and I hope to see you there, boom.
Kevin PalmieriAs always, we love you, we appreciate you, grateful for each and every one of you. And at NLU we don't have fans, we have family. We will talk to you all tomorrow. Talk to you soon. Thanks for joining us for another episode of Next Level University. We love connecting with the Next Level family.
Alan LazarosWe mean it when we say family. If you ever need anything, please reach out to us directly.
Kevin PalmieriEverything you need to get a hold of us is in the show notes. Thank you again and we will talk to you tomorrow.