Next Level University

Are You More Happy Than You Are Fulfilled? (1938)

• Kevin Palmieri and Alan Lazaros

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In this episode, Kevin and Alan discuss how focusing on growth, contribution, and values can lead to a more satisfying life—even if it means embracing challenges. Whether you want to improve your day-to-day or rethink your long-term goals, this episode will inspire you to shift your perspective.

Links mentioned:
Next Level Dreamliner: https://a.co/d/9fPpxEt
Free 30-minute Coaching Call with Alan - https://bit.ly/4f3MSUz

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NLU is not just a podcast; it’s a gateway to a wealth of resources designed to help you achieve your goals and dreams. From our Next Level Dreamliner to our Group Coaching, we offer a variety of tools and communities to support your personal development journey.

For more information, please check out our website at the link below. 👇

Website 💻  http://www.nextleveluniverse.com

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Any of these communities or resources are FREE to join and consume
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Next Level U Book Club - https://bit.ly/3BQBYDr
Next Level Monthly Meet-up:  https://www.nextleveluniverse.com/monthly-meetups/

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We love connecting with you guys! Reach out on Instagram, Facebook, or via email. We’re here to support you in your personal and professional development journey.

Instagram 📷
Kevin: https://www.instagram.com/neverquitkid/
Alan: https://www.instagram.com/alazaros88/

Facebook ✍
Alan: https://www.facebook.com/alan.lazaros
Kevin: https://www.facebook.com/kevin.palmieri.90/

Email 💬
Kevin@nextleveluniverse.com
Alan@nextleveluniverse.com

LinkedIn ✍
Kevin: https://www.linkedin.com/in/kevin-palmieri-5b7736160/
Alan: https://www.linkedin.com/in/alanlazarosllc/

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Show notes:
(2:12) The happiness Vs. Fulfillment scale
(3:19) Balancing long days with purpose
(7:23) What fulfillment really means
(10:41) Coaching insights on growth and alignment
(12:52) Growth, contribution, and quality of life explained
(20:50) Meet like-minded people and jumpstart your journey to achieving your dreams while optimizing your life. Join Next Level Group Coaching. https://bit.ly/49SyVHz
(22:42) Choosing fulfillment over fleeting pleasure
(38:02) The slow, challenging path to fulfillment
(42:14) Outro

Send a text to Kevin and Alan!

Kevin Palmieri:

it's not. I mean, is the dream ladder going to make you happy? No, no. No. It'll help you be more fulfilled, for sure, but it's not going to make you as happy as something else.

Alan Lazaros:

Quality of life and this is where it gets philosophical, but that's why we're here. Quality of life is different for everybody. Quality of life is being able to attain and sustain and enjoy that which you value most.

Kevin Palmieri:

Welcome to Next Level University. I'm your host, kevin Palmieri, and.

Alan Lazaros:

I'm your co-host, Alan Lazarus.

Kevin Palmieri:

At NLU, we believe in a heart-driven but no BS approach to holistic self-improvement for dream chasers.

Alan Lazaros:

Our goal with every episode is to help you level up your life love health and wealth.

Kevin Palmieri:

We bring you a new episode every single day, on topics like confidence, self-belief, self-worth, self-awareness, relationships, boundaries, consistency, habits and defining your own unique version of success.

Alan Lazaros:

Self-improvement in your pocket, every day, from anywhere, completely free. Welcome to.

Kevin Palmieri:

Next Level University, next Level Nation. Welcome back to another episode of Next Level University, where we help you level up your life, your love, your health and your wealth. Today, for episode number 1,938, are you more happy than you are fulfilled? I told Alan I did a little bit of fanboying today. I was on a podcast. It's not really a podcast, it's a blog, but it's going to be a podcast with this gentleman named Bob podcast. It's not really a podcast, it's a blog, but it's going to be a podcast with this gentleman named Bob. And Bob is a former silver medal winning Olympic wrestler, bob A Bob. And you know me. I love Bob A. I love mixed martial arts, I love combat sports. Wrestling is a big part of that and at one point he was one of the best on the entire planet and that is wild, super humble, great dude. I'm excited to get to know Bob at a deeper level. I'm very excited.

Kevin Palmieri:

But one of the questions he asked me was on a scale of 1 to 10, how happy are you? And I started laughing Like I don't know, this isn't great, this isn't going to sound great. I said probably seven and a half eight. And he's like wait, what Don't you get to do what you love every day. And I said, yeah, I'm probably 10 out of 10 fulfilled, especially right now. But I woke up this morning and I told Taryn. I said today's really going to suck pretty bad because the alarms and again, this isn't hustle porn, I'm not saying it for that, but this is what my day looks like. Alarm clock goes off at six.

Alan Lazaros:

I go to the gym Hop in the cold plunge.

Kevin Palmieri:

Cold plunge, I'm a billionaire immediately. Awesome Just downloading books into my brain, into my brain palace In the cold plunge In the cold plunge, of course, yeah, of course.

Kevin Palmieri:

I send my first 600 emails to potential clients from the cold plunge, of course, straight into the infrared sauna, of course. And then that's it. That's my day. I go back to bed, start it up. Tomorrow it's 6 am, I'm going to the gym and then Alan and I. It's 6 pm right now and this is our first of two episodes We'll be done.

Kevin Palmieri:

7.15, 7.30. It's a long day, but 7.30. It's a long day, but I wasn't excited. I was like this is going to suck, tay's really going to suck, but when I get to the end of the day I will be super fulfilled. So I said I'm not really. I'm not playing as much for happiness as I used to, I'm playing for fulfillment. Sunday, I'm going to be happy as a pig in poop. I'm not going to do almost anything. But I'm not going to be super fulfilled depending on what I'm doing. If Tara and I are just watching movies all day, I'm not going to be super fulfilled. I will be happy, I will be happy.

Kevin Palmieri:

I had a very interesting moment. I was telling Tara this last night. Yesterday, I had a call with new clients and when you sign up for NLPS. We do like an hour onboarding call where we can really chat about anything. I'll help you name your podcast. We'll talk about intro, outro, trailer, launch, strategies, all that stuff. Well, the two young ladies shout out to Bree and Uma. They had a podcast named Chosen and I was like, honestly, you guys are going to freaking, hate me.

Alan Lazaros:

Nah, that ain't it Now.

Kevin Palmieri:

I will always punt to you. It's your podcast. I will always. You always get final say I will guide you and you always get final say you get veto power. I don't think that's it. We spent the entire hour coming up with this podcast name.

Alan Lazaros:

What do we got the?

Kevin Palmieri:

entire hour.

Alan Lazaros:

What is?

Kevin Palmieri:

it, what do? We got the entire hour. What is it? What do we got? Oh boy, I don't. It's a long one. It's like Hot Tea with Uma and Brie, I don't remember, there's like a subtext. But essentially they're registered dietitians and both very successful business owners with multiple businesses and they want to help other people in the sports, nutrition, fitness and wellness space make more money.

Alan Lazaros:

Hot tea with Uma and Brie for me.

Kevin Palmieri:

No, this is like a subtext after that, like for blah, blah, blah for these professionals. Does it rhyme? The first part, does the last part? I don't know if anybody could make it rhyme Because there's just a lot of key words in it. Regardless, after we did the call, I went to the bathroom and then I was telling Taryn later that night. I don't know why I told you I went to the bathroom after.

Alan Lazaros:

I do use the bathroom Just like everybody else, because I was thinking about it in the bathroom.

Kevin Palmieri:

I guess I said I had a really cool moment today, the really fulfilling, prideful moment, and I know it might sound silly, but I spent an hour with these two amazing humans helping them name their podcast and they chose the name I suggested after going through all the names, like we landed on one of the ones that I suggested and I said's like. It feels really good, but the hour was brutal. It was brutal. I'm copy and pasting the same name and we're changing one word and we're changing a comma and you have moments where you're thinking to yourself we might have to book another hour call to figure out this name and they're gonna hate me because they're gonna think I don't know what I'm doing. But it was a really good, fulfilling experience that I wasn't necessarily happy during. I mean, we put our heads down and we did some work. So I think that's another good example and I think the more I've leaned into trying to be fulfilled, the more I've understood that happiness is more of a benefit than it is a goal. Happiness is nice and I do some things that make me happy.

Kevin Palmieri:

Ufc hasn't been on in three weeks Like that sucks. Ufc's coming back next week. That'll make me happy, but that's not going to be fulfilling. Last last, last thing If you think about fulfillment, so Amazon Fulfillment Warehouse I don't know what the exact definition of fulfillment from like a business lens is, but I'm pretty sure it's like to make whole. When you order something and your order gets fulfilled. It means to make whole right.

Alan Lazaros:

It means that we the achievement of something desired, promised or predicted. Winning the championship was the fulfillment of a childhood dream satisfaction or happiness as a result of fully developing one's abilities or character. I think that's good, that satisfaction as a result of fully developing one's abilities or character. I dig that.

Kevin Palmieri:

Thank you, google. But that's drastically different than if I have a couple of whiskeys tonight and I watch something funny. I might be happy, but happiness is something completely. I think happiness is like I took an edible and watched Bad Santa on the night before Christmas Eve Eve. I was so happy. It's like this is awesome. I'm sitting in front of the Christmas tree, the cats were with me, tyron went to bed early that night. I was so happy. But happiness is more. It's just a feel good. I think fulfillment is. I think fulfillment is you can feel the. If there's like a power bar, you feel yourself filling up the bar more. It's like I'm getting closer to maximization and again you never get there. But with happiness it's like when I wake up tomorrow, this is going to be gone.

Kevin Palmieri:

It starts over. Yeah, that's a good. You go on a vacation for seven days. Those seven days, that happiness bar might be super high, but when you go back to your real life, if you don't like your real life, it fades really freaking quick. Yeah, fulfillment, I think, is kind of the opposite, where it stays to the point doing the thing that fulfills you, you recognize it's like I'm not. I'm not as fulfilled as I was before.

Alan Lazaros:

So that's my two cents I was on with a client right before this and he's grinding. He's doing it. 2024 was the most productive year he's ever, had most money he's ever made. We were doing calendar stuff and he's twice a week now, which which is awesome, but it's also not for happiness.

Kevin Palmieri:

No one coaches me for happiness?

Alan Lazaros:

I don't think. And after the call, it was one of those sessions and I'll keep this anonymous, but ultimately it was one of those sessions where it was just he. He worked from 7am to the session and it was just grind time. You could tell he was exhausted, practically falling asleep on the call and we were talking about R&R what you need and I said in 2024, taking action, world-class, 10 out of 10. Focus and R&R your ability to take the right actions, not 10 out of 10. Let's work on that. And so we're trying to find ways for him to be more present. One is R and R and he bought he's buying a phone lock box with a timer to put his phone in so that he can have some more present time. We're also working on some yoga and different things to be more mindful and more present. But I sent this afterwards because it was one of those calls where I was also in the bathroom. I also use the bathroom and that's pretty much all I do in between sessions. No, but in between sessions I was in the bathroom and I was thinking, of course, because I'm trying to transition from all of that to what we're doing now, which requires quite a bit of the transition.

Alan Lazaros:

Time is not long. I think that's one of the reasons why I'm a couple minutes late. Sometimes, too, is I need a, I need to flush what was, and I need to get my mental preparation and I I need to get in the right headspace for this. Otherwise this is going to be garbage compared to what it could be. So, anyways, I'm sitting there thinking I gotta send him a message.

Alan Lazaros:

That was a brutal session of just grinding and none of it was pleasurable at all. None of it was like congratulations, great, great. It was just a grind. And so I said I'm proud of your brother. I know it's hard grinding so much, but your future self will thank you, and you are kicking some serious ass these days on your top three priorities. 2025 will make 2024 look like child's play. Let's fucking go, exclamation point. And it's lfg. I didn't actually type out let's fucking go, but I just could tell he needed that. Like dude, I know this blows, I do. I know it sucks, it does you can't.

Alan Lazaros:

He's in the best shape of his life. He's made more money than he's ever made before. He's living in a new place. He's doing it. He's doing it. He's grinding and growing towards his goals and dreams more than I've ever seen, and I've coached on and off with him for four or five years and I said he just needs to hear this, because I know this blows. I know how bad you feel right now. I know how unhappy you feel in this moment and how cooked you are.

Alan Lazaros:

However, the most fulfilled he's ever been, the most fulfilled he's ever been, the most in alignment he's ever been, the most on point he's ever been, and that's really what matters, I think, long term. And it's so interesting how, if I'm ready to watch a whole movie on a Sunday with a full pizza in front of me and I've got whatever, yeah, I am happy as hell. But the only reason I'm fulfilled is because I crushed the week and I grew and I learned and I contributed and all that stuff, and so I I I added my top three core values. I switched out one of them for potential and I defined it. It's on my desktop background.

Alan Lazaros:

It's a deep belief in what's possible and what human beings are truly capable of, and I do believe that fulfillment comes as a byproduct of reaching your true potential and contributing with that potential in a meaningful way. Fulfillment comes from meaning, and meaning rarely comes from easy and if you overdo the grinding and growing, you will burn down if you never have pleasure and happiness. However, if you optimize for pleasure and happiness, the fulfillment is not going to be there. When I was having the most fun quote-unquote, on the surface, from the outside in, I was the least fulfilled, and lately I've been having the least fun from the outside in, but I'm the most fulfilled, and I think there's something to that.

Alan Lazaros:

It's almost like fulfillment is at the soul, deeper level, the soul level, and pleasure and happiness is kind of like the human level. It's getting your needs met, it's eating a bucket of chicken wings, it's whatever it is for you. For me it's getting a whole box, potentially of Nikos, but broasted, broasted, oh my God. Yeah, baby, a box of broasted man. That'll do it, but it'll never fulfill me. A box of broasted chicken is bombcom, but it's never going to make me feel good about myself. It just can't. I've tried.

Kevin Palmieri:

What? Okay, a couple questions, many thoughts. I have so many thoughts right now going through my head. I don't know why I'm exhausted, but things seem to be working. My brain seems to be working, I don't know why. One is I wanted to thank you for allowing me to do like a nine minute monologue. I looked at the timer after I stopped talking and I was like, was that like nine minutes? So I appreciate that. I appreciate you giving me the space to do long monologues. That's one. Two instead of me saying what do people not understand about fulfillment? You don't know all people, but you knew me what didn't I get about fulfillment? Because I think I still struggle to explain it, because it's almost like imagine if you came to me and said yeah, kev, I'd love to work with you. What's the process like? It's like oh, it fucking sucks. Terrible, it's the worst, but, but a lot of nights.

Alan Lazaros:

Sign me, but a lot of nights, sign me up, a lot of nights.

Kevin Palmieri:

yeah, alan's in like all right, cool, oh wait, there's more. Well, never mind, I don't need to say anything. But when you go to bed at night, you're gonna understand that you've grown a lot and if you keep doing what you're doing, your life is going to be weird in the best ways, Because a lot of your goals and your dreams are going to come true. But it's going to suck that I don't know how to sell fulfillment, Because I don't. Yeah, Because I like pleasure. Saturday night and Sundays are usually pleasure, but I have moments where it's Saturday at 7.30 and you're finishing the day and it's like how the hell are you doing that Tomorrow is?

Kevin Palmieri:

I'm going to bed tonight and I don't have any calls tomorrow. It's the first time I haven't had a call on a Saturday and I couldn't tell you how long. I don't have any calls tomorrow. It's the first time I haven't had a call on a Saturday and I couldn't tell you how long. I think you have seven calls tomorrow. Now you and I are very different.

Alan Lazaros:

Eight Eight calls.

Kevin Palmieri:

What didn't Kev, what didn't old Kev, pre-hyperconscious Kev understand about happiness and fulfillment?

Alan Lazaros:

You and I were in the studio way back and we had this huge whiteboard. It's still in my basement. There's a lot of shit in my basement that we have to clean up Remember, we spent a fair amount of money on that.

Kevin Palmieri:

You're like, yeah, we need this.

Alan Lazaros:

It's like dude that whiteboard changed our life, I know.

Kevin Palmieri:

but now look at it Now, it's a relic of the past.

Alan Lazaros:

Yeah, it doesn't fit in my office. I mean it does, but it's huge. It takes up a lot of space. I'd have to shimmy around it in order to get to my desk. But we drew two big circles Very great whiteboarding sessions for us. I drew two huge circles we probably immaturely saw it as boobies being playful but the left circle was old Kev and the other circle was new Kev and I was trying to explain this to him way back then and I'm glad we're talking about this now and I said the left circle, old Kev, was what percent pleasure and what percent fulfillment? Like what was your focus? What were you focused on? Trying to gain pleasure in the moment or fulfillment long term? And you said 100-0, man, it was all pleasure which.

Alan Lazaros:

I appreciated the honesty, yeah, and I said what is it now? And you said probably 80-20. Probably 80% fulfillment, 20% pleasure. I said okay, because you back then were still not fully sold.

Kevin Palmieri:

And I was wrong too. It was not. There's no way. It was 80-20. Not at that point, Probably like 60-40.

Alan Lazaros:

No way it was 80-20.

Kevin Palmieri:

No way Agreed.

Alan Lazaros:

Well, you only know what you know up to that point, right, and this is what four years ago now, something like that. So I tried to explain this. I'm going to do it now and I appreciate the question because this is my favorite thing in the world, because the only thing I like more than fulfillment. I don't think that I like anything more than fulfillment. That is ultimately what I'm optimizing for. But external success and internal fulfillment, I think, are very hard to achieve simultaneously, which we'll get to. So back then I said what we're going to do is increase the percent that you focus on fulfillment and decrease the pleasure which, back then, concerned you for sure.

Alan Lazaros:

And I said, okay, kev, which one would you prefer? Like go back to old Kev, when it was 100% pleasure, 0% fulfillment. And you were like, no, no, no, no, I don't want to go back there. I mean, yeah, it was awesome but it was also terrible. I said, okay, so if you don't want to go back, why not put more percentage, more percentage, more percentage, more percentage in the fulfillment bucket? And that's when it, I think, clicked quite a bit and it makes sense now that now you're probably actually at 80, 20, whereas before you were at 60, 40, thinking you were at 80, 20. But the truth of the matter is, I said eventually you might dial that up to 95, 5. Yeah, see, it's hard for you to believe now, for sure.

Kevin Palmieri:

But it was slash want. But it was hard for you to believe now.

Alan Lazaros:

For sure, slash want.

Alan Lazaros:

But it was hard for you to believe even back then. Yeah Right, and so maybe I'm at 95.5, I don't know and I've come to the point where, at this stage in my life, I need at least an hour of R&R. I want at least an hour of R&R per day minimum, and I like having Sundays with no front facing. Now to answer the original question of what fulfillment actually is, I do believe that fulfillment comes down to three things In this order. I actually do believe it's in this order for everyone. However, you might be wired in a way where the order is different right now. Can I guess?

Kevin Palmieri:

without saying them, I won't say them. G, c, m, p. The last one is three words M, y, p.

Alan Lazaros:

I don't know about the last one, Q-O-L oh okay, nevermind, I wasn't going to say that.

Kevin Palmieri:

Okay, next level nation. What is happening? If you've thought to yourself, I want to try coaching, but you don't really know where to start, group coaching would be a wonderful place for you. That's really why we created it in the first place. We start a new round every 90 days. So if you're hearing this, go to the website nextleveluniversecom and we have the landing page where you can actually hold your spot right now. Even if there's a group going on right now, you can still lock your spot for the next one. The biggest thing that we've seen is, as we get closer and closer to the date, unfortunately, some people end up missing. The group fills up and they can't do it, and then they end up regretting that. So please head over to the website. The link will be in the show notes and we would love to see you there.

Alan Lazaros:

So the first one is growth G Right G.

Kevin Palmieri:

Right, yeah, it's gross, it's just not in his head yeah, goat no.

Alan Lazaros:

The first one is growth, which is reaching your potential, and then the second one is C, which is contribution. So you grow uniqueness, grow in your own uniqueness, then you contribute with that uniqueness, then you are supposed to be paid for that to some extent, which should increase your quality of life. And I am convinced that if you design your life around your own unique potential and increasing that through growth and then contribute with that because when you grow you have more to give in a meaningful way and then you are compensated for that in money then you should be able to also rise the quality of your life and the quality of the lives of those in your family and beyond. And I do believe that that is the formula. Here's the problem. To the client I mentioned earlier, he's running that formula better than ever.

Alan Lazaros:

Pleasure ain't in it, yeah, and quality of life is increasing. His quality of life is really increasing. I mean he's living in a nicer place, he's thinking about moving next year, blah, blah, blah. But the quality of his day-to-day in terms of pleasure, I mean he's got what? Seven or eight private clients. Then he works at four clinics. I mean he's exercising at least five days a week, if not six. So he's fulfilled as hell, but he has very little pleasure in his life, to the point where I actually talked to him. I said I remember last month or two, three months ago, you were watching a series, the Halo. Apparently there's a Halo series. Halo was a big video game back in my day, back in my day, back in our day. Well, don't date me.

Kevin Palmieri:

I don't know if you played Halo.

Alan Lazaros:

You didn't play Halo.

Kevin Palmieri:

First of all you can kindly F right Of course, I played Halo. I used to drive the warthogs around like a maybe I had playstation. I didn't have xbox, so I had to go over my buddy's house to play halo nice, okay.

Alan Lazaros:

So halo was the biggest console game at the time, especially halo 2, and apparently there's a tv series.

Alan Lazaros:

So I was talking to him. Hey, remember when you were watching that tv series, like, do you, do you have a tv series that you can watch for r and r in the evenings? And the problem with tv series is you have to cut them off, because if you don't, the pleasure gets too much, the fulfillment goes down, you end up staying up late and then you don't get your stuff done, and so we're all constantly ping pong between pleasure and fulfillment, and sometimes you have to go to pleasure town to realize this is terrible. I want to go back to fulfillment land, and the wiser person and all of us, metaphorically, are getting, hopefully, wiser over time realizes you know what Pleasure Town is kind of a fugazi, and yeah, I might eat a bucket of Nico's chicken and I'm going to love it tonight and I can do that once in a while. But if I do that regularly I'm going to hurt fulfillment and it's just not smart that's such a hard thing.

Kevin Palmieri:

Okay, I value quality of life higher than you do. What does that mean for the equation?

Alan Lazaros:

I'm oh god that's. I don't want to say that. I do believe that as you grow more and more and more, you will value quality of life less and less and less. I do believe that valuing quality of life less is an indicator of personal development set point.

Kevin Palmieri:

Which was hard for me to say out loud For sure I appreciate it.

Alan Lazaros:

I think the more physically, mentally, emotionally and spiritually developed you are, the less you prioritize current needs and the less scarce you are in general, so you can think more long-term. So one of my and I do think this parents know this uh, when you have children, you take on responsibilities that aren't about you and it forces you to grow and and some parents who are still children, they are bad parents because and again, I'm not a parent, so I'm not judging but like if they're still super selfish and make everything about themselves. Like, well, I didn't get my R and R, well, you have kids, and sorry. And so I'll speak for someone that I coach, who's a, who's a mom of two.

Alan Lazaros:

She says I can't stand it when I see mothers blaming their kids for their problems Because you're the one who had the children, they're your responsibility, and you're so upset that your kids are affecting your quality of life. It's like, well, you shouldn't have kids then. And again, that's a whole other conversation I'm not going to get into. But ultimately I think the more we mature myself included the less selfish we become, and then you have to learn how to set boundaries, because obviously there are still selfish people.

Kevin Palmieri:

It scares me because I like quality. I'm inspired by quality of life. One of the reasons I'm more fulfilled now is because we had a really good Q4 and I feel very abundant now is because we had a really good Q4 and I feel very abundant Now again. That doesn't mean we're balling on, we're gonna go do a bunch of stuff, I just feel safe.

Alan Lazaros:

Do you value quality of life more or less than you did five years ago?

Kevin Palmieri:

Honestly, more but different. Talk to me, okay, can you define quality of life?

Alan Lazaros:

Yeah, exactly, quality of life, and this is where it gets philosophical, but that's why we're here. Quality of life is different for everybody. Quality of life is being able to attain and sustain and enjoy that which you value most. So you mentioned that moment with the cats. The reason you mentioned the cats being with you is because you value the cats a lot. So and I do too I mean my pets, mean the world to me. So quality of life is different for everyone. We okay, yeah, it's completely unique, and so is potential. Our potential is unique to everyone. I'm I don't have good potential in bodybuilding, which is why it's taken me so long to build muscle, but I do have a lot of potential in engineering per se. So potential is unique, contribution is unique, based on that, and then quality of life is unique based on each of our individualities. So all of this is completely custom, but the principles stay the same. So I value cars.

Kevin Palmieri:

Yes, is completely custom, but the principles stay the same. So I value cars. Yes, I imagine for me quality of life will be bigger, home more uh, what's the best way to describe it?

Alan Lazaros:

can I do it? Can I guess? Yeah, of course kevin. And again, this is through studying his core values, because all of this is built on core values. So quality of life is basically based on core values.

Alan Lazaros:

Okay, I would say, enough to be super generous when you want to Definitely Money like abundant enough to be able to be generous, okay, big tips, be able to do a GoFundMe if someone's in trouble, that kind of thing. And again, be careful, you have to earn generosity right through through intelligent choices. Number two would be car that just is a very unique, very fast, very next level car, for sure definitely a big home that's super safe, probably with land where you can have farm animals because I know taryn values that and four wheelers, and four wheelers, I think it's not that much more than that. Hold on, it's pretty simple. And then you want a movie theater for sure, 100%, so you can watch UFC on the big screen, of course, yeah. And then you want enough abundance to be able to travel, particularly with Taron. And I think, let me think, let me think, you need a gym that you love, for sure, 100%. You probably want a home gym with a bag that you can Like, a boxing ring.

Kevin Palmieri:

Boxing ring, a legit box. If I could have that Woo.

Alan Lazaros:

Yeah.

Kevin Palmieri:

A martial arts room. Oh my goodness.

Alan Lazaros:

And then obviously three giraffes.

Kevin Palmieri:

So of course giraffes yeah one thing you might, you might have missed and well I don't know. I might like some level of rap studio nice podcast again slash yeah, yeah, so I guess that's already included so, okay, that's all very achievable long term yes, well it can't happen tomorrow definitely not. How much is a movie? How much is a whole movie theater? It's not a big deal, just write a check.

Alan Lazaros:

The check doesn't even have to clear $297 if you get the projector I got. I think it's unbelievable.

Kevin Palmieri:

No, I need a. I need it. It needs to be real.

Alan Lazaros:

Can I tell you a quick story as a child, super fast.

Kevin Palmieri:

Yeah.

Alan Lazaros:

So I you know how I talked about the project man and putting up a shelf and being up on a ladder, all that. Let's hear what you've done. Well, amelia, she has, I think, 97 varieties of plants in our home, my goodness yeah, and I came upstairs one day I said, sweetheart, we have a core value in conflict.

Kevin Palmieri:

Never start a conversation like that.

Alan Lazaros:

But I was playful in my energy. So she, I was, you know, tongue-in-cheek and I said, uh, I was, because I was downstairs and I was getting ready for movie night and this projector, it's, it's up on a shelf and it's a, it's the it I have a. My living room is a movie theater. It's awesome, it's effing awesome. Dude, it might as well be 100 inches, 100 inch tv and the acoustics somehow are like movie theater level, really good, not, not really not movie theater level. But like how is this surround sound when there isn't surround sound type of technology? Don't get it very fascinating.

Alan Lazaros:

She put plants to the left and to the right because she didn't want our cat jumping up to it off the balcony, which she will do, by the way. So we've got to find another solution. And I said, hey, we have a core value in conflict. She's like what do we got? And I said these plants are fucking with my acoustics. And she said I fucking knew, I knew that that was going to happen. She's like okay, okay, I completely understand. So this sunday I'll be up on a ladder taking those plants down because they can't mess with the theater video or it didn't happen I'll send you.

Alan Lazaros:

I'll send you a jpeg. Send me something.

Kevin Palmieri:

Yeah, pop me a gif jif, jpeg, png, whatever it is. I was to guess something very similar, because if you were to say what's the ideal week, it's like the ideal week doesn't change that much. I think it's just the quality of the experiences that do. It's not like I don't expect. Yeah, tyron and I are going to fly somewhere on Wednesday. I mean, will that happen in the future? Future, future, yeah, I'm sure, but I would love to watch UFC in a nicer place. Cool, I would like the way I get to the gym to be faster, louder and nicer. Cool, if I go to the gym.

Kevin Palmieri:

I pulled into the gym today. Okay, I park next to this car and this car's been there the last couple days. I'm like who is this? Who has this car? Dude, I've seen the guy in there. Dude comes out and gets in this car. This was like a. You won't know this. Maybe you won't know this if you're watching or listening, but if you're a car person, you will. It's like a 2025 BMW M8 competition this is a hundred, and 2025 BMW M8 Competition this is a hundred and Hold on. I was so inspired this morning. Bmw M8 Competition price this is a $175,000 car. Dude starts it up and it sounded like the freaking Batmobile. I was just standing there watching. I was like I was just standing there watching.

Kevin Palmieri:

I was like oh my goodness, it's red, just like my car. My car is just a baby peon compared to that car. Levels, but it was such a nice car. Now, here's the thing. Here's the thing. I might be more fulfilled than that guy. You just wouldn't know it.

Alan Lazaros:

So let me ask you this If you had to guess, are you yes, yeah, but his drive to the gym. You've already won, yeah his drive to the gym Might be happier than mine.

Kevin Palmieri:

Yeah, it definitely is. Of course it is, so might be happier than mine. Yeah, it definitely is of course it is so.

Alan Lazaros:

Well, I don't know.

Kevin Palmieri:

I mean, I don't know it is in terms of the car pleasure, yeah, yeah, I mean, maybe he hates his life. It's like, oh god, I really hate going to the gym you know, I don't know maybe, but I just think that's a really good example of you would guess that he.

Kevin Palmieri:

You would probably guess that he's more fulfilled than I am. I can't imagine and again, I don't mean this to sound egotistical, but I get to do what I love every day and this is like literally a dream. I don't have a good job. It's not like, yeah, I landed a pretty good job. No, this is like what I wanted to do with my life and I realize how privileged I am and how lucky I am and how much I grind and all that. So so I don't know. I think I'm probably very high on the fulfillment. I wouldn't If you gave me a million dollars, or if you gave me a billion dollars right now and said you have to stop, I wouldn't stop.

Alan Lazaros:

I don't want to stop. I like this, and if you did stop, you'd be less fulfilled.

Kevin Palmieri:

Or I would break into Alan's house, kidnap him, take the billion dollars. We would start a new life elsewhere. But we would start a new life elsewhere. But you wouldn't let me do that Because I'd be less fulfilled. I'd say suck it up, buttercup, suck it up, suck it up. It's a cool conversation, cool conversation. I appreciate it.

Alan Lazaros:

Of course, good, the fulfillment thing, fulfillment. There's something called multidisciplinary optimization and you can study this game theory, chaos theory, all this stuff, math theory too. You people, what are you optimizing for? I always ask that because when you study all this, you realize that human beings can only optimize for one thing at a time and in the micro moment. I'm optimizing for this conversation with Kevin. But macro, what am I optimizing for? Fulfillment? And if you optimize for the wrong thing, you might get to the end of your life one day and have regret, because when I got in my car accident, I didn't optimize for fulfillment before 26. I didn't.

Alan Lazaros:

I always knew I was unhappy, but I didn't know why. And in my early 20s I was having a conversation with my mom and I said she's like why, why does intelligence matter so much to you? And I'll never forget that conversation because I remember thinking because if you're not intelligent, it's very hard to make choices that I said I'm trying to figure out the formula to not end up old and miserable like everybody else. And I I wasn't trying to be a dick, I I looked, looked around, and I was around a lot of really miserable human beings, we all. Let's be real. There's a lot of really unhappy people. There's a lot of really unfulfilled people. Let me say that there's a lot of really unfulfilled people and the reason why isn't because people are bad, it's because no one taught us how to be fulfilled. Yeah, and after 26, when I was wildly unfulfilled and I usually pull up a picture of you can see it in my face, I have a drink in my hand. I'm 160 pounds, skinny fat, drank too much and too often. Tons of friends, but wildly unfulfilled. And now I'm so fulfilled. My day-to-day life back then was a lot more fun and a lot more friends and a lot more status and pleasure and corporate and blah, blah, snowboarding and all this stuff. But I was much less fulfilled inside and now my life is far more fulfillment inside.

Alan Lazaros:

And then external success is a byproduct of that, through growth and contribution and quality of life, and one of them is the slow play. One of them is the slow build. One of them is the much harder road it is. It's much harder. That's why I said what I said to my client, because now he's fulfilled. He's the most fulfilled he's ever been. He's the most aligned he's ever been, but his life kind of sucks more than it ever has.

Alan Lazaros:

And I I know that sounds weird, but that is, I think, the way the human condition works. And the only reason I figured this out is because, as an engineer, I've been studying the human condition and studying people and studying myself and studying how it all works for a really long time neuroscience and psychology and physiology and I'm trying to understand, like, how do we fulfill ourselves? How is it that someone's so fulfilled, yet their day-to-day life is so hard and someone else has everything handed to them and they have tons of money in their bank account and they barely have to work and they're so unfulfilled? And the answer is what fulfills us is very different than what is pleasurable for everyone, and fulfillment is unique to all of us. However, the principles are sound for all of us.

Kevin Palmieri:

It makes sense if you really think about it, because if I want to be happy, I most likely have to sell you something that's going to make you happy. If you think about it, just surface level, if I'm thinking to of myself, I want to be as happy as possible. I'm most likely not going to be able to do something that takes a long time and requires you to go through a lot of pain to accomplish the thing, because you're not going to buy it yeah so what's easier to sell?

Kevin Palmieri:

what is easier to sell porn or a journal? It's not. I mean, this is the journey. Is the dream ladder gonna make you happy? No, no, no, I it'll help you be more fulfilled, for sure, but it's not gonna make you as happy as something else yep, that is the base problem of humans, human nature and that's, I think that's, it's just, I think it's a thing that just perpetuates.

Alan Lazaros:

That's what we're all up against. Every one of us, yeah, every one of us is up against that. I'm grateful you brought that up.

Kevin Palmieri:

I was just thinking of that, because if I want to be happy and I don't want and I don't think fulfillment is the way, then I'm obviously going to have to find a way to make other people happy in order to get my success. That will make me happy, and then it becomes this whole. That's why shortcuts are dangerous. I don't think there is a shortcut to fulfillment. Nice Cool beans, all right, cool Next Level Nation. I just talked about it. If you have not yet gotten your Next Level Dreamliner for Q1, mine is on order. It is somewhere in the ethos on its way to my abode. Alan has his shout out to Richard. Richard just bought a new one and shared it on social.

Alan Lazaros:

Again. Richard crushing it Also crushing it.

Kevin Palmieri:

Yeah, the big deal the the most. I think the most valuable thing about the dream ladder is it literally will take you five to 10 minutes a day, depending on how much you want to write. Super easy, super low barrier to entry. It's easy to do and it's not going to be overwhelming. So we'll have the link in the show notes and yes, I'm biased because it's ours, but I've used a lot of journals and I've also stopped using a lot of journals because it's like I don't have 45 minutes to write out everything today. Achieve your dreams 90 days at a time.

Alan Lazaros:

Strong work. Notice how it doesn't say achieve your dreams in 90 days.

Kevin Palmieri:

I respect that 90 days at a time. You've got to market that up a little bit.

Alan Lazaros:

You know, 25 years is 100 quarters.

Kevin Palmieri:

Yeah, imagine what you could do with 100 quarters. With 100 quarters you could buy a lot of gum boom boom disc. All right, you're still. You still have slots open for clients.

Alan Lazaros:

You're doing free calls all that jazz link, yes, link in the show notes. Yeah, if you want to be more fulfilled, if you're coming to be more happy, I'm the wrong coach for you yeah, probably ain't if you want alignment and fulfillment and achievement, I'm your guy. If you want happiness, I am definitely not your guy.

Kevin Palmieri:

I think it's important to lean into that. See, I think it's important to lean into that. All right, cool, as always, we love you, we appreciate you, grateful for each and every one of you, and at NLU we don't have fans. We will talk to you all tomorrow.

Alan Lazaros:

Stay focused Next Level Nation.

Kevin Palmieri:

Thanks for joining us for another episode of Next Level University. We love connecting with the Next Level family.

Alan Lazaros:

We mean it when we say family. If you ever need anything, please reach out to us directly. Everything you need to get a hold of us is in the show notes.

Kevin Palmieri:

Thank you again and we will talk to you tomorrow.

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Alan Lazaros

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Kevin Palmieri

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