The 3 Ps Of Progress (1945)

Unlock the secrets to transforming your life. In today’s episode, hosts Kevin Palmieri and Alan Lazaros discuss how principles, priorities, and preferences impact your ability to succeed. Practical stories and thought-provoking questions show you how to reprogram your habits and mindset to align with your goals. Whether improving relationships, achieving financial stability, or embracing personal growth, this episode will help you define the principles and priorities driving lasting change.

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Show notes:
(2:13) Difference between principles, priorities, and preferences
(6:01) Practical examples of the 3 Ps
(9:52) Transforming preferences into principles
(15:30) Why billionaires drive old cars
(23:01) Next Level Dreamliner: the planner, agenda, journal, and habit tracker to rule them all. Get a copy: https://a.co/d/9fPpxEt
(28:02) Reprogramming your life framework
(35:07) Balancing emotion and logic in growth
(43:43) Outro

🎙️ Hosted by Kevin Palmieri and Alan Lazaros

Next Level University is a top-ranked daily podcast for dream chasers and self-improvement lovers. With over 2,100 episodes, we help you level up in life, love, health, and wealth one day at a time. Subscribe for real, honest, no-fluff growth every single day.

Transcript

Kevin Palmieri 0:00

I would make a mistake and I would feel terrible about myself and I would question my entire existence. And then, over enough times, behind the scenes, I'd build up the courage to go try again. But it wasn't like a movie montage where I got punched in the face, went to bed, get up, punched in the face twice, go to bed. It wasn't that I got punched in the face.

Alan Lazaros 0:17

I went and licked my wounds and then I trained and then I sparred and then eventually I got back into the ring and I did a little bit better and a little bit better. I'm helping people take the preferences of what they want and create priorities and principles that actually allow you to get them. I really need to say this because I need to be myself. All of us have poorly designed Teslas All of us. You helped me reprogram. I was guaranteed to suck at relationships forever if I didn't fix some stuff.

Kevin Palmieri 0:45

Welcome to Next Level University. I'm your host, Kevin Palmieri.

Alan Lazaros 0:50

And I'm your co-host, Alan Lazarus.

Kevin Palmieri 0:53

At NLU, we believe in a heart-driven but no BS approach to holistic self-improvement for dream chasers.

Alan Lazaros 0:59

Our goal with every episode is to help you level up your life, love, health and wealth.

Kevin Palmieri 1:06

We bring you a new episode every single day on topics like confidence, self-belief, self-worth, self-awareness, relationships, boundaries, consistency, habits and defining your own unique version of success.

Alan Lazaros 1:22

Self-improvement in your pocket, every day, from anywhere, completely free.

Kevin Palmieri 1:28

Welcome to Next Level University, next Level Nation. Welcome back to another episode of Next Level University, where we help you level up your life, your love, your health and your wealth. Today, for episode number 1,945, the three Ps of progress. We did an episode on this a while ago where we were talking about principles. So a good example is someone who is very, very wealthy never buys a new car. And you might say well, you have enough money to buy a new car. Why do you never buy a new car? Because it's the principle of saving money and that's how they got there in the first place.

Kevin Palmieri 2:13

I've told this story many times about how I lost a client early on because he was trying to haggle with me on the price and he was a multi, multi, multimillionaire. It's like, dude, you got the extra 500 bucks a month. Well, he didn't get to being a multi-millionaire by just saying yeah, you know, I got the extra $500 a month. It's a principle. We were talking about that. And then we were talking about how there's a big difference between a principle and a preference. So a preference is I would like it to be this way, my preference is medium, rare or well done. But if it doesn't come out that way, it's not the end of the world.

Kevin Palmieri 2:51

Then, when we got off that episode, alan said well, there's also priorities. So if you think about it and we were to order these, a priority is well, let's say this A preference is something you would like Preferentially. That's the way it would be if it was up to me. A priority is something that you're focused on and a principle is who you are, and I thought it would make for a cool episode. I mean, alan and I both thought it would make for a cool episode to kind of dive deeper into that, because I think principles are some of the most powerful things in the world. I think a preference is the beginning of a priority or principle, and obviously a priority is maybe principles broken down to daily habits, if we want to put it that way.

Alan Lazaros 3:38

I have this on my MIT list most important task list. Principle priority and preference the three Ps of progress. I didn't write that second part.

Kevin Palmieri 3:46

You came up with that. Oh, I was going to say yeah, no, that was you so you read my book.

Alan Lazaros 3:52

A lot of times the team, the core team, will say Alan and Kevin, I learn things through the podcast that they forget to tell me. So, amy, if you're listening, she's been the one in Next Level Certified Coaching who's been creating the digital assets. And Christina, I know you're the main head of digital assets. But so principal priority preference you did it in order preference, principal priority preference. Yeah, I like that order. Okay, so the three Ps of progress principal priority preference.

Kevin Palmieri 4:24

I just got to go the other way, think it's got to go the other way. Does it have to go the other way?

Alan Lazaros 4:28

I do the macro to micro.

Kevin Palmieri 4:30

I'm a macroscopic thinker.

Alan Lazaros 4:31

You're a microscopic thinker.

Kevin Palmieri 4:32

So you like to go the other way? Your way is worse.

Alan Lazaros 4:35

I think, probably my way. I think is better for macroscopic thinkers.

Kevin Palmieri 4:42

If it was a bullseye right, Three circles, principles, inseye right.

Alan Lazaros 4:46

Three circles.

Kevin Palmieri 4:47

Principles in the middle Right. Yeah, yeah, for sure, I'm seeing that too. So as long as and everybody, the one in the middle the one closest to the bullseye.

Alan Lazaros 4:58

You go from the outside in.

Kevin Palmieri 5:00

I think that's how it's like. Most people read from left to right, most people think from outside in. I think I do. At least, I don't want to speak for you, whether you're watching or listening.

Alan Lazaros 5:09

Now I'm confused who's macroscopic and who's microscopic, which is, if you listened to the last episode, the microscope and the telescope thing.

Kevin Palmieri 5:19

Oh yes, Was that last episode.

Alan Lazaros 5:21

I believe so Cool Is my camera doing weird stuff. No man, just us.

Kevin Palmieri 5:25

Hey, just us doing weird stuff today, just me and you Principle, priority preference.

Practical examples of the 3 Ps

Alan Lazaros 5:31

I think you explained it very well. Principle is who you are, what you believe. That's the inner part of the circle. Then the next layer is priority. This is what you focus on. So principle is I am consistent. Prior principle is I am consistent. Priority is I am consistent in podcasting. Preference is I want to show up in a colored shirt for every episode. See how, when we were doing the Next Level Hope Foundation, I showed up in a hat and the Next.

Alan Lazaros 6:01

Level Hope Foundation shirt. So my preference is to be professional dress, but it's not a priority and it's not a preference.

Kevin Palmieri 6:11

Uh, principal, god damn I have them on my tv so I can make sure I look and I have them labeled.

Alan Lazaros 6:20

So my one more time. So my and kevin and I, we apologize. We are learning this in real time because, nlu. We create these frameworks that I think are super helpful, not only for us but for other people, and so my principle is I'm consistent. My priority is I'm a consistent podcaster. I love I'm. One of my top priorities is podcasting, coaching, training, podcasting, podcasting and my preference is that I'm dressed nicely and professional for said podcast. That's the end of the episode. Yeah, that's it. Have a great day. How?

Kevin Palmieri 6:57

does it go from a preference to priority? What has to happen? Is it just focus? Is it necessity? Is it Massive pain and failure? Usually is yeah.

Alan Lazaros 7:10

So let's give an example. When was a time when your preference became a priority? One thing that's an example of this is going in debt. So if you're in debt, you would really like to get out of debt. Well, there's a point where it's.

Kevin Palmieri 7:26

I have to.

Alan Lazaros 7:27

And all of a sudden it becomes a priority and then you create a new principle and the new principle is I am no longer going to use a credit card above 25% interest. So all of us, at all times, are wiring and rewiring ourselves through. Unfortunately and this is something I really want to bring to the table is the neuroscience shows that you actually can't change without pain. It's so unfortunate. You can't teach old dogs new tricks thing. The truth is, the older you get, the less functional chemical and structural changes you can make to your brain in a shorter period of time. So you still can, but not without more pain. It's almost like you're a city that's older, so boston's a really old city. So it's harder to dig up the roads and the cobblestone and shit in in boston than it would be to a brand new city. You just get to pave whatever neurons you want, type of.

Alan Lazaros 8:18

Thing so you can't teach an old city new roads. You can't teach an old person new habits very easily. It's way. It's way harder. It's way harder as I've gotten older. You have certain things that are just done. It's over, it's all good, no problem. It's harder for you to sleep in than it is for you to wake up in the morning.

Kevin Palmieri 8:35

I was so excited I got up at six today Back at it. That's. It's a priority or a principle, I don't know. I think it's a principle, but from I think I've been able to make it very constructive. But it's because when I sleep in I feel like stuff's burning down. I need to be there. Just in case I need to be there, I want to be awake in case.

Alan Lazaros 9:00

So the question underneath this becomes how do you know when a principle, a priority or a preference is optimal? It depends, and if you do have certain goals for 2025 or beyond, you're going to have to change your preferences into priorities and principles. I mean, if you want to get in shape this year you're going to have to take a preference of going to weight training to actually make it a priority or a principle, like I never missed, type of thing.

Kevin Palmieri 9:24

Well. So I don't even know if it would be a preference of exercising. I think it would be a preference of looking good. So I would like to look good. My preference would be I would look good in the clothes that I put on. Then the priority must be whether I want to or not. I'm going to make sure I try to hit the gym X amount of times per week and then eventually it's the principle of I am the type I think principle is identity.

Alan Lazaros 9:52

Yeah, agreed, I think principle. Principle is when it becomes such a part of who you are that it's harder not to do it.

Kevin Palmieri 10:00

And I think preference is emotion. It's more the emotion of, if I had it my way then it would go this way. So when you decide and I don't there's just not a lot of power in preference.

Alan Lazaros 10:16

No, very little.

Kevin Palmieri 10:18

There's not a lot of power Because if and I think what happens it's going to be so hard because I'm going to say, I'm going to say priority preference in principle, 500 times, put a dollar in a jar every time we say one of those words, you're going to be wealthy by the end of this episode. I think our preferences set us up for failure yes and then eventually you have to create a principle to negate that old preference yep, to negate that old preference, yep.

Alan Lazaros 10:43

And that's a very wonky thing, trying to make this as practical as possible for all the NLU listeners, and I've gotten some good feedback from clients and they've said that they've enjoyed the episodes more in some ways and then a couple less in others, because I think some of my clients are extremely hardcore and they just want, like, give me the goods, let's go. And also some of them listen every single day.

Kevin Palmieri 11:08

Good luck.

Alan Lazaros 11:08

Yeah, no, they got it. They got it I, I. I've noticed a huge uptick. I've said this before, but I'm going to say this again. There's just a bigger uptick in motivation. There's a there's a palpable uptick in motivation.

Alan Lazaros 11:19

When my clients listen to the podcast consistently, it's minds listen to the podcast consistently. It's so obvious, honestly, and for anyone out there, if there's no other reason to listen nlu, we'll just keep you motivated because we're here every day. We show up every day. It's a principle. So if you want to show up every day, let us rub off on you, let our consistency rub off on you. I mean, that's one thing nlu has as a principle. We are consistent as fuck, like for sure to you know, and, ironically, I actually want to be more consistent. I actually don't think I'm that consistent, but of course, so everyone out there watching or listening. Principle, priority, preference what percentage are you principle, what percentage are you priority and what percentage are you preference in terms of your goals for 2025? Because if you set a goal that is based on a preference, you are in, you're no way. There's no way.

Kevin Palmieri 12:08

There's this channel I found on YouTube. Again, I watch weird shit on YouTube. I'm a very strange person, but it's this guy who lives in his car and does DoorDash, uber, eats and what's the other one Grubhub, grubhub. And the reason I like him is because he's local, he lives in Rhode Island, so a lot of the places he delivers like I know where, and the restaurants he gets the food I know where they are, like I've been there and not to all of them, but like I know the area he delivers to Providence. He delivers to North Smithfield. I used to date someone who lived right next to North Smithfield.

Alan Lazaros 12:47

I dated someone in North Smithfield as well.

Kevin Palmieri 12:49

There you go it's a small world, one of the things I enjoy. I don't want to say I enjoy, but it helps me with perspective because and again, this is blanket statement and it's going to seem like judgment, please sit with me through it. Please sit with me through it he will deliver a coffee and a breakfast sandwich that cost $5. Somebody will pay $7 to get that delivered. So they will pay $12 for something that they could either make at home for much cheaper or they could go get themselves. I understand, trust me, I don't want to make a. For some reason, you get a bagel from a store. It's always better than when you make it home. Just, it seems that way when somebody else makes it for you. Many of these homes don't and again, blanket statement don't necessarily seem like the type of homes that have the extra money to be doing this yeah, yeah, of course their preferences are maybe holding them back.

Kevin Palmieri 13:51

Where I've also seen this person deliver to some very nice homes, their principles might seem like preferences. So let's just say this. Let's say somebody makes Somebody's working eight hours a day From home and they make $200 an hour. Okay, hypothetically, they say to themselves Honestly, I'd rather just pay the seven bucks for delivery, because if I go out for a half hour it's not quote unquote worth my time. Some people say that from an ego place hour, it's not quote-unquote worth my time. Some people say that, from an ego place, well, that's not even worth my time. It's like, okay, take it easy, but if you're on the clock and you're getting $200 an hour, it quite literally is more valuable for you to stay home and work 100%. Their principle might be I use my time sorry, I use my money to buy more time which buys me more money.

Kevin Palmieri 14:49

That might be a principle, but if you think that's a preference and then you adopt that behavior, that can be dangerous.

Why billionaires drive old cars

Kevin Palmieri 14:57

If I mean, there's a million examples of that I just wanted to use that one because I'm always looking like what kind of house is he pulling up to with this $37 Dunkin' Donuts order? Okay, interesting, what kind of house is he pulling up to with this? Somebody just wanted, I don't know, three king-size Kit Kats. Okay, that's like $3 and it's going to cost $5 to get it delivered and then you're going to tip them. You're paying so much more $15, yeah, yeah, you're paying a lot of money to get three king-size Kit Kats when you just run on down to.

Alan Lazaros 15:30

My assumption would be that has to be. I don't remember, not a great.

Kevin Palmieri 15:34

I don't remember, but it's just Again. I just don't want to know as much as I can.

Alan Lazaros 15:48

Well, there's the thing in real estate. People say that the biggest homes have the biggest libraries and that kind of stuff. Leaders are readers and all this stuff. There are certain principles that are fundamental. Leaders are readers and all this stuff. There are certain principles that are fundamental. If you look at the statistics the majority of people that are if you were to take all of the people with the highest quality of life in terms of lifestyle and money and you were to somehow find out how many books each of them have read and how educated they were, you would find a huge correlation. So there's a principle there. Like readers are leaders is a saying.

Alan Lazaros 16:29

Some readers are not leaders at all.

Alan Lazaros 16:32

Holy crap, whoa. Some readers are leaders and so it doesn't mean you're going to read books and you're a leader now, but it does mean that there's a correlation and I think that there's a principle there the more you read, the more you learn, the more you learn. The more you read, the more you learn. The more you learn, the more you understand. The more you understand, the more you can control. The more you can control, the more you succeed, typically, typically. But all of this is yeah, I, I'm big on principle. Is that obvious?

Alan Lazaros 16:55

I mean, I yeah, for sure my whole world is trying to update my principles. It's like, uh and I've used this metaphor before and forgive me for this as a computer engineer, you just go in and you find the bugs in the software and then you fix them and now it works better. That's what I do with myself and with you. Like you just have bugs in your software. It's like you have dumb thinking and I'm not trying to be mean, but you just do things that are not smart, and when you stop doing that, you are more successful. And not you, Kev, but like anyone. I mean, all I have to do is reprogram every client and they will win. I know that sounds really arrogant. Does that sound arrogant? Super, yeah, oh my God, that is what I do, though.

Kevin Palmieri 17:41

I think that's. I think, at the end of the day, there are errors in how would that not sound arrogant. You would say I help people blank Right. I help people raise their awareness through whatever, so they can make more effective decisions.

Alan Lazaros 18:00

Let me unpack it. So I'm on a call and I'm analyzing your principles, your priorities and your preferences. That's why, when I say I study people, that's all I mean. I'm looking at your thinking, I'm looking at your decision-making paradigm and I'm looking at your identity, how you see yourself, how you see the world, and I'm just finding the errors in it. Does that sound arrogant? Errors in thinking?

Kevin Palmieri 18:26

I would, maybe I think it's. I'm finding the things that are misaligned with the goals that you've set.

Alan Lazaros 18:32

Do people have this belief? This is oh, I know it's weird little tangent. I actually don't have a belief that. I have like optimal thinking. My thinking is dumb as shit. I'm serious, dude awful Okay, but it's better than it used to be.

Alan Lazaros 18:47

Yeah, uh, our car, it updates every day and they ask hey, can we research your data? We won't attach it to your vin number, we won't like we won't know it's you, but we, we need to make this vehicle drive itself better. Can we look at the data it's like? Of course, please, they're just finding the errors in the decisions of the car. So the car has three cameras in the front, one in the back, one in each door, so not, and then one in the car, nine total. And if it, all it's doing is taking in information and then making decisions, and if it sees a bird and it doesn't recognize it, it's going to hit birds.

Alan Lazaros 19:30

So all I'm doing in coaching is reprogramming the Tesla to drive better, and I think most people's programming and I know this is going to come off as arrogant, but please, please, like, bear with me with this. Your what if your Tesla is programmed to where it's guaranteed you never get to the destination you want? And what if all I do in coaching is just identify the bugs in the software and then help you update them? That's all I've done with you, brother Like, and you've done that with me too, with relationships You're right now there's a bug in my software.

Alan Lazaros 19:58

I have no idea what comes off as arrogant and you're like, hey, that comes off as fucking arrogant. It's like, oh, I would have no idea, dude, honestly, because to me it makes perfect sense.

Kevin Palmieri 20:09

Well, I think that's. It's hard because this isn't really about what we're talking about, but at the end of the day, there's a fine line between trying to change someone from who they are to helping them understand how who they are affects other people. Those are two very different things.

Alan Lazaros 20:28

You know what I mean Well do people think, since you're just being me, do people think that who they are is a good thing? I think. I could be better Like I live perpetually with.

Kevin Palmieri 20:48

I could be a better person, but you also have very high self-belief, so it doesn't hurt you to think that way. There's, I'm telling you that's the thing is like. If I didn't like the way I looked, I wouldn't be able to talk about myself the way I do, because I actually like the way I look. So when I say I'm fat, I'm not, I'm not, it doesn't affect me the way it might affect somebody else who has low self-worth in their body. You know what I mean.

Kevin Palmieri 21:17

Like you and I might get off an episode and I'll be like dude that we did an episode recently I'll be very honest and I was sick and we got off. We did an episode recently I'll be very honest and I was sick and we got off and I was like that might be the worst episode I've ever done. That was dog shit and you're like dude, that was really valuable. If that was my first ever episode and I got off and said that was absolute dog shit, I am the worst I wouldn't feel very good about the rest of the. I probably wouldn't be able to do this.

Alan Lazaros 21:41

So the way somebody talks to how you feel about yourself yes, yeah, I think most people do you sucked that time? Like you just sucked that time and I didn't even think you sucked, but like no one.

Kevin Palmieri 21:58

But I know he's like great all the time I, but I have enough positive bids where me having a bad day is not. I just don't care that much from the. I don't care that much from. It doesn't attach to my self-worth. I care from a performance perspective. I want to be better, but it doesn't make me question whether or not I can do this. But in the beginning it would have. So you, okay, good, just to connect it all, I think, somebody's view of themselves. This is going to be maybe the dumbest thing I've ever said of all time I doubt it.

Alan Lazaros 22:39

I think it's going to be fire and it's not.

Next Level Dreamliner: the planner, agenda, journal, and habit tracker to rule them all. Get a copy:

Kevin Palmieri 22:40

Hey, I appreciate it, I appreciate it so much, but it's not the way somebody sees themselves is going to determine what they zoom in on more. If they don't feel like they're very intelligent, the last thing they're going to do is zoom in on the fact that they don't. It's like, yeah, no, most of the stuff I say is super dumb hello, hello, hello.

Alan Lazaros 23:02

Nlu listener. Thank you, as always, for listening to Next Level University. Real quick, I just want to jump in and let you know about the Next Level Dreamliner. This is a journal that I use every single day. Achieve your dreams 90 days at a time. It breaks down your dreams into goals, milestones and daily habits. We hope you enjoy it. The link will be in the show notes. This is the thing. Right, and again, I know if you feel unintelligent. The only way to get more intelligent is to face the fact that you're unintelligent.

Kevin Palmieri 23:34

I know, but what's?

Alan Lazaros 23:36

that, though. How does that happen? It's almost like you're guaranteed If you think you're intelligent, you're guaranteeing you're not.

Kevin Palmieri 23:43

Okay, let me ask you this question. I love you when I do that. Alan, for those who are just listening, alan had his hands up in like a circle in front of the camera and then when I asked the question, he gently put them down gently.

Kevin Palmieri 23:58

Okay, right now, let's say somebody is watching or listening, and they have, and we all do so, I'm not but they have a weakness, whatever it is. They're not as smart as they want to be, but they don't have the confidence, or they don't have the belief or they don't have the certainty that admitting that to themselves Because I think there's two versions of admitting there's admitting from a scarcity place of I'm not smart enough to ask this question to I don't feel smart enough and I'm sick of it and I need to do something about it. How do we get from one to the other?

Kevin Palmieri 24:41

Yeah that's the. I think that is the trillion dollar question. You and I in the beginning I said very early on I think self-belief is the thing. If you have self-belief, you're probably going to make it further than me, who doesn't have self-belief. For sure. If it were just equating, and then it was like well, there's self lot of other stuff too, but building self-belief starts with the the pain of admitting that you aren't where you want to be is it? Does it start with the pain of admitting that you don't have it?

Alan Lazaros 25:13

yeah, probably. Yeah. The only way you can build it is if you know you don't have it. This is the hardest part about coaching for me, is I kind of have to get someone to admit that they're not what they think they are first. So if I think I'm smart and here's the thing I hold the duality, I think I'm statistically smart, but I think I'm an idiot compared to what I could be. That's where I live most of the time Genuinely. I don't get off here and go. I'm so smart I go learn. Genuinely, I don't get off here and go. I'm so smart, I go learn. I'm like learning every day, all day. I'm just trying to learn like feed my mind.

Kevin Palmieri 25:55

I don't walk around thinking I'm smart. You know what I mean. Okay, yes, is there anything that you sucked at? Do you walk around thinking that you're good at relationship? No, do you walk around thinking that you're good at relationship? No, do you walk around thinking you're a good partner?

Alan Lazaros 26:12

Yes, but I walk around always focused on how do I be a better partner?

Kevin Palmieri 26:19

But what's the order? Is it yes, and the better partner always.

Alan Lazaros 26:25

Yeah, I don't think I know I'm a good partner statistically and I know I'm the best partner Emilia's ever had, which she's had terrible partners. It's not anything to be pumped about. You know what I mean. That's like, oh, I'm a good mom Compared to who? Right, so I don't, I walk around with, I'm a good partner and I need to be a better partner. I want to be a better partner Always, always, and trust me, sometimes I feel like, ooh, am I Uh-oh, like not a good partner.

Alan Lazaros 26:58

When I am like a selfish person, like I forget something that's important to her, like making the bed in the morning, I'm like, ooh, am I a a bad partner? And then I go fix it, just fix it. I know that sounds like. And again, going back to the tesla, the principal priority preference, I'm helping people take the preferences of what they want, yeah, and create priorities and principles that actually allow you to get them, because all of us and I really need to say this because I need to be myself all of us have poorly designed Teslas, all of us. You helped me reprogram. I was guaranteed to suck at relationships forever if I didn't fix some stuff, you know, because imagine dating someone like me with the way I think I essentially do. How could that possibly?

Reprogramming your life framework

Kevin Palmieri 27:57

work. I essentially do. I mean you and I aren't dating, but we might as well be. We run a business together.

Alan Lazaros 28:02

I just it makes sense now why my relationships were so hard Because I came off so much different than I thought I came off off, and it wasn't because I was a bad person, it was just because I was so different well, it's even the tesla analogy.

Kevin Palmieri 28:17

It's like, yeah, but I'm not a car, I'm not a piece of technology. I think that's where things can get.

Alan Lazaros 28:22

But the car, the tesla. Programming the tesla it's a smart car is the exact same as the way neuroscience works. Like, as a matter of fact, these cars, computer engineering, the entire computer, is built on how the brain works. I don't think anyone knows this but it doesn't have feelings.

Kevin Palmieri 28:37

Oh, it doesn't have feelings. That's where things get, because, yeah, there's a certain subset of humans you could sit down and say like, hey, you're just not that smart, you're not as smart as you need to be. Yeah, 100, most people, including me, but I think a lot of the people that resonate with that most are already statistically smarter than the average person probably. Yeah, it's like you're, you're, you don't. The collective view doesn't get offended when somebody says you need a strength and a strength.

Alan Lazaros 29:15

Real quick. This will land different for everyone. Listening I know this has been really powerful.

Alan Lazaros 29:20

I love this. What is people's story as to why they don't have what they want? Because the only reason you don't have what you want is because you're not smart enough yet to get it. I think every story is different. Like I wasn't capable of attracting emilia until I was 30 because I was just a crappier tesla. You know what I mean. I do like why is the tesla worth more than the mazda? It's a way better car. It has better upgrades, better software, better capabilities, better tires, better whatever I don't know cars I don't care but it's better in every regard. That's why it's worth more. So I just wasn't worth enough yet to be with Emilia, isn't that?

Kevin Palmieri 30:05

Yes, and I think everybody's story is different.

Alan Lazaros 30:07

Everybody's story is different. Everything you've achieved, you just weren't good enough before to achieve it.

Kevin Palmieri 30:12

I know, but when my, if you took old.

Alan Lazaros 30:13

Kev and put him in this conversation. You would not be. You'd hate me and, dipset, I'd probably hate you too.

Kevin Palmieri 30:19

But my deepest fear was not being good enough. So when you and I started working together, you said Kev, you're just not good enough.

Alan Lazaros 30:28

No way, no way. Yet I said yet yeah, but not in the very beginning. You didn't, I didn't. You never said that in the very no, you never said that in the very beginning, I wasn't intelligent, emotionally intelligent.

Kevin Palmieri 30:37

No, no, no. It's good that you never said that. You never said anything. You never said I wasn't smart enough. You never said I wasn't good enough.

Alan Lazaros 30:43

I never said that.

Kevin Palmieri 30:44

No, you said you gotta start I was a coward, that's good, it was good, it was good.

Alan Lazaros 30:47

I was good cowardice. I didn't think that, but I thought that about me too.

Kevin Palmieri 30:50

It wasn't like you helped me with priorities, you helped me set goals, you helped me track habits. You never sat me down, because I think that's the thing. That's why certain people you know how they say that when the student is ready, the teacher will appear. I think the reason that happens? A couple, a couple reasons, but one when you start to level up the amount of self-belief, you have different advice actually sounds more realistic. Yeah, like when I, if, if I was to say the best way it clicks.

Kevin Palmieri 31:29

The best way to get good at sales is to go get 100 no's. It's like, if you're just beginning, that's the dumbest shit ever. It's like don't go get 100 no's, 100% yeah. Try to get one yes and honestly lower the barrier to the yes. Just go ask people questions and get yeses.

Alan Lazaros 31:45

You don't have to sell anything. Go to the mall, like you did, and talked to strangers. Talked to strangers and that's a great start.

Kevin Palmieri 31:49

Ask them how their day went. That's the. You want to get good at sales. That's how you start. But eventually it crosses a threshold where people say, like, how did you get over failure? And I'm like, oh, I just failed a bunch. And then I catch myself no, no, no, that's. Yeah, that's what happened. But that's like the last three five. In the first five I would make a mistake and I would feel terrible about myself and I would question my entire existence. And then, over enough times behind the scenes, I'd build up the courage to go try again. But it wasn't like a movie montage where I got punched in the face, went to bed, get up, punched in the face twice, go to bed. It wasn't that I got punched in the face. I went and licked my wounds and then I trained and then I sparred and then eventually I got back into the ring and I did a little bit better and a little bit better. So even I'm guilty of this too it's, but it's hard, so hard to explain that in a 15 minute segment.

Alan Lazaros 32:43

I've been catching myself, too, with these things more than I used to. I'll catch myself going well. I used to say the best way to get better at chess is just go lose a bunch of chess.

Kevin Palmieri 32:55

If you're already good at chess, though, yes. Or if you already believe you could be the best in the world at chess. Yeah, that's so true, but if you already have that belief, then you know that's what you have to do, anyway, yeah, you know, and most people don't have that belief.

Alan Lazaros 33:12

Yeah, you know, you could get better at chess if you wanted to.

Kevin Palmieri 33:17

I do now, but I didn't know this.

Alan Lazaros 33:18

Is that just an inherent belief, Like there's very little that I couldn't get better at if I wanted to. You know what I mean.

Kevin Palmieri 33:24

Yes, I do now.

Alan Lazaros 33:25

That's a fixed mindset versus growth mindset yeah, there's nothing. You couldn't get better at Nothing. Growth mindset yeah, there's nothing you couldn't get better at. Nothing. I know that sounds like I'm being pretentious.

Kevin Palmieri 33:32

No, no, and I know it sounds unbelievably obvious, but it was not obvious to me in the beginning. I'm not just saying that, it was not obvious to me. I didn't think I could get better at most things. I had a very fixed mindset there's nothing.

Alan Lazaros 33:45

In my opinion, you couldn't get better at Nothing. But if I, yes, and if I had had your belief, I would believe the same thing yeah, yeah, and I do luckily I get to borrow your belief yeah, it's just so annoying because if if I'm turning everyone off who doesn't have belief, I'm in so much trouble I can't help people. That's so sad.

Kevin Palmieri 34:05

That makes me so sad I don't, I can't guarantee that's what's happening.

Alan Lazaros 34:09

I mean, that's been the journey there's a subset of the population that gets turned off for sure.

Kevin Palmieri 34:13

With the Tesla thing.

Alan Lazaros 34:14

When you said the laptop doesn't have emotions, it's like, oh, it's so true, yeah.

Kevin Palmieri 34:23

If I was to make you something, if I was to cook you food and I gave it to you and you said this is the worst Fucking steak I've ever had in my life. I'm gonna oh you and you said this is the worst fucking steak I've ever had in my life.

Alan Lazaros 34:33

I'm going to. I would never say that I know.

Kevin Palmieri 34:34

Oh you might. If I cooked it for you, I would internalize that as meat. That's not the steak. You don't have anything against the steak, it's not the steak's fault.

Alan Lazaros 34:42

So what if I said this? What if I said you're not very good at cooking steak yet that would be better, right, yeah, it would be better.

Kevin Palmieri 34:51

Yeah, nice, what I would prefer is you just chew it, swallow it, shake my hand, say it was amazing and then leave? No, no.

Alan Lazaros 35:01

And then talk shit about me in private. That would be ideal for me. That's not constructive whatsoever. That's the dumbest shit ever.

Kevin Palmieri 35:07

Because no one improves when you do. That I know, but again, but again, then we can get into. Is it your job to improve everybody? You know that's.

Alan Lazaros 35:18

That's another, I mean you're gonna keep cooking me shitty steak.

Kevin Palmieri 35:21

I'm gonna have to keep eating no, you're not gonna come, you're not gonna come back.

Alan Lazaros 35:23

Let's be like yeah, well, I'll see you some eventually the other person's wondering why you didn't come back not me, me.

Kevin Palmieri 35:30

That's not fair. I'm like hell yeah, Hell yeah.

Alan Lazaros 35:32

I'm the man. You are a believer in delusion. Apparently, I'm not a believer in delusion. I think it hurts us. I do. Well, that's a principle of yours for sure.

Kevin Palmieri 35:41

Yeah, that's a principle of yours. Delusion is dangerous. Give me a 30 to 60 second wrap up here.

Alan Lazaros 35:50

What are your principles, what are your priorities and what are your preferences? And if you have a preference that is very, very high, like a high bar, like a preference to run a I don't know six minute mile, that's challenging, depending on if you're better at running than me You're not going to do it without principles and priorities. Yeah, your preferences won't happen without principles and priorities underneath them. That's what I would say, hugh.

Kevin Palmieri 36:15

I would say it's very easy to feel your preferences and have it make almost no sense that somebody else's principles are the opposite, but they have the results you want. I'll just say this, if you see, this always blew my mind. It still blows my mind. I understand it at a deeper level, but it has always blown my mind. I can't understand why a billionaire drives like a 1997 Toyota Corolla.

Kevin Palmieri 36:50

It makes no sense to me why that's how they, why a billionaire drives like a 1997 Toyota Corolla Makes perfect sense Makes no sense to me, why that's how they became a billionaire, I know, but go get a more reliable car, for Christ's sake. What are we doing here?

Alan Lazaros 37:02

But you don't become a billionaire for money, I know. So go buy a car.

Kevin Palmieri 37:06

You're not going to miss it $30,000. I'm not saying you've got to go buy anything. Go buy a new one, go buy a new Toyota Corolla. Can you unpack why it makes sense now? Because they never had. I think it goes to everything. They never had the preference of having nice things. They never had the priority of saving up money to get a new car, which eventually it just went into the principle of Having a new car was never a principle. As a matter of fact, not having a new car was the principle.

Alan Lazaros 37:40

I have a multimillionaire mentor who was the CEO of a tech company I talk about often. He never bought a new. He's like Alan. I drove shitboxes for 35 years. I said I know, and how's your Porsche? And it's your.

Kevin Palmieri 37:52

Porsche? Right, it's, and it's brand new. Why did he buy the Porsche? Because now it's like he has so much change.

Alan Lazaros 37:57

He just he made it. He's done with his dreams in a way which is actually quite sad and unfulfilling. We've, you know, we've talked about that. He achieved everything that he wanted to, and so now it's like, okay, well, I might as well. Now he's golfing in.

Kevin Palmieri 38:12

Bahamas. I mean, if you want to send it, if you want to send the Porsche over I'll, I can take care of it.

Alan Lazaros 38:17

I think that he thought that that would like fulfill him more than it does. He also bought a, a Mercedes like eight cylinder or whatever. He showed it to me and I it just was like cool man, like I don't, I don't, I don't know what you expect from this, I don't care.

Kevin Palmieri 38:30

You need to give this gentleman my number. I'll come look at your V8 Mercedes, but you can tell he doesn't care, it's impractical as hell too.

Alan Lazaros 38:37

You know, his wife doesn't even like it. It's like what are we doing? But again, the point is, if his goal was to have a nice car, he wouldn't be wealthy, most likely because he would have had to spend money instead of invest it.

Kevin Palmieri 38:57

Well, I think this is a. This is a really easy example to see see somebody who's in really good shape eating something really healthy, and you say you're in really good shape, you could have a slice of pizza. It's like, well, that's not how they got there exactly. That's. That makes perfect sense to you right yeah, yes and no, not really, because if I want a freaking slice of pizza, I'm gonna have to have a slice of pizza.

Alan Lazaros 39:11

I don't believe it has to be.

Kevin Palmieri 39:12

I guess for me. You know how people say how you do one thing is how you do everything. I hate that saying. I think it's dumb.

Alan Lazaros 39:17

I've always thought it was dumb. I'm working on that, but that's the principle thing, I know. Do you know how hard? It was Real quick, but principles can fuck you. Yes, 100%. Every principle screws you in one way. It snowed yesterday. I'm sure it's snowing up there too Currently. Yeah, it's beautiful. So Emilia and I and Tucker, on Saturday morning we do snowball. So Daddy goes outside with Tucker and he's so excited he's pumped a little floof and we get a snowball and bring it inside and everybody plays. And I had to go get my slippers on to go outside my slips, my excuse me.

Kevin Palmieri 39:55

Yeah, were you wearing your robe as well?

Alan Lazaros 39:57

yes, you know, you were wearing your robe 100, oh my god, 100 man. So I go out there and I do snowball, whatever, and then my shoes are sitting outside the slider and they're I didn't want to track snow all in the house, so I left them there, dude, you know how hard it was. I know this sounds weird and I'm. I'm weird. Okay, everybody, I'm very unique. Disclaimer you know how hard it was for me to prioritize this podcast over putting my slippers back.

Alan Lazaros 40:26

I can't have things as true, dude. I can't. It's a principle. I'll always have my book on me. I'll always have my water. I'll't have things as true, dude. I can't. It's a principle. I'll always have my book on me. I'll always have my water. I'll always have the Dreamliner. You'll never catch me without these things. I have principles that are always. You'll never see this ring or ding or bang Like principles run me and they run my life. That's how you reprogram your hard drive, but you have principles that are very different. Like you have stuff strewed away all the time Like I guarantee you my office and Kevin will show our personalities.

Kevin Palmieri 40:53

Look at this. You want to see my personality. Ghirardelli Chocolate, peppermint, hot cocoa squares.

Alan Lazaros 41:01

I have a principle that I'm not allowed to have any food in my office because it's distracting, right? So we just have different principles and we will get different results For you. You have very different principles than I do, and that's totally fine. We have similar core values and then we have to do an episode now at some point about core values versus principles. Principle is just an if, then. If I'm in my office, then I am focused. If I'm downstairs, then no devices downstairs. You know how hard it is for me to keep my devices downstairs. Now I feel like that's a rule though that's what principles are yeah but principles don't always.

Kevin Palmieri 41:34

You can miss on a principle, right, it happens. There's no difference between a principle and a rule. If then is automatic, I feel like principles there's room for. Like a principle for you is I get eight hours of sleep every night.

Alan Lazaros 41:52

It doesn't always happen, though. No, the principle is I do not ever set an alarm, I maximize the amount of sleep I can get, so the preference is I get eight hours. And that's yeah preference is eight hours or I prioritize sleep Exactly. Shit, you got me on technicality. Yeah, let's, it's good stuff.

Kevin Palmieri 42:05

This is good stuff. The podcast A podcast has gone in a very strange direction.

Alan Lazaros 42:09

I didn't expect that this morning.

Kevin Palmieri 42:11

I like it. I'm in on this. I hope other people do too.

Alan Lazaros 42:15

I know that this conversation is super powerful if you really take it in. Whether or not people take it in is the question for me. This is where we started, though.

Kevin Palmieri 42:23

This is where hyperconscious eight years started, with us just having deep conversations, not claiming to know the answers to the deep conversations.

Alan Lazaros 42:34

I think I claimed to know a couple things. You did. Yeah, Well, no, you just quoted everybody else I did.

Kevin Palmieri 42:39

What do you think about priorities? Well, I believe it was Ralph Waldo Emerson that once said priorities are a precursor to principles in lifestyle. Priorities are a priority.

Kevin Palmieri 42:56

You have anything to say about it personally, as Alan Lazarus, or would you like to pontificate somebody else's quotes? All right, Next level nation. If you want to make sure you never miss an opportunity to hear Alan and I I don't try to figure out who we are together as one, but separately as others Make sure you subscribe so you never miss an opportunity to do that. Alan still has coaching spots available. He will have his free 30-minute breakthrough session link in the show notes. It's not a sales call. He's not going to show up with a PowerPoint presentation and lock you in for three easy payments. He's literally going to try to help you in the 30 minutes you have together. Most likely we'll end up going over the 30 minutes because that is what he does Well.

Outro

Kevin Palmieri 43:36

Kevin's waiting Well yeah, I'll be waiting, just so you know I'll be waiting here to podcast, but his link will be in the show notes. As always, we love you.

Alan Lazaros 43:51

We appreciate family.

Kevin Palmieri 43:52

We'll talk to you all tomorrow, stay Next Level, next Level Nation. Thanks for joining us for another episode of Next Level University. We love connecting with the Next Level family.

Alan Lazaros 44:01

We mean it when we say family. If you ever need anything, please reach out to us directly. Everything you need to get a hold of us is in the show notes.

Kevin Palmieri 44:10

Thank you again and we will talk to you tomorrow.