Be Careful What You Attach To (1948)

“It’s not logical to tie your self-worth to a game.” In this episode, hosts Kevin Palmieri and Alan Lazaros discuss the power of focusing on what you can control and detaching from external outcomes that don’t truly serve you. They explore how being overly attached to things like sports teams or fleeting passions can impact your emotions, productivity, and long-term fulfillment. Instead, they emphasize shifting your time, energy, and effort toward personal growth and intentional living. Through humor, real-life stories, and practical advice, they inspire listeners to rethink their priorities and build a life of purpose and self-control.

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Show notes:
(3:28) The cost of emotional investment in trivial things
(7:07) Realization after a hard night
(11:11) Mastering your emotions and attachments
(15:05) At NLU, we want you to win! So, we’re giving tools and resources to ensure your success. Join our Monthly Meet-up every first Thursday of the month at 5 PM.
(17:29) Focus on what truly matters
(23:33) Intelligent effort: Control what you can
(28:34) Rebuilding self-worth through intentionality
(29:24) Outro

🎙️ Hosted by Kevin Palmieri and Alan Lazaros

Next Level University is a top-ranked daily podcast for dream chasers and self-improvement lovers. With over 2,100 episodes, we help you level up in life, love, health, and wealth one day at a time. Subscribe for real, honest, no-fluff growth every single day.

Transcript

Alan Lazaros 0:00

don't detach from outcome. That's unintelligent. What I've come to understand is detach from the outcomes that you have no control over to the best of your ability and reallocate that time, effort and money into the things that you do have some control and influence over.

Kevin Palmieri 0:16

It's a conversation of if right now it's 80% just attached to something that just doesn't matter and 20% attached to your life and the outcomes in your life. We've got to pivot that If you want a more fulfilling life. That would be like the simplest blanket statement I guess you could use. Welcome to Next Level University. I'm your host, kevin.

Alan Lazaros 0:39

Palmieri, and I'm your co-host, alan.

Kevin Palmieri 0:42

Lazarus At NLU. We believe in a heart-driven but no BS approach to holistic self-improvement for dream chasers.

Alan Lazaros 0:50

Our goal with every episode is to help you level up your life love health and wealth.

Kevin Palmieri 0:56

We bring you a new episode every single day, on topics like confidence, self-belief, self-worth, self-awareness, relationships, boundaries, consistency, habits and defining your own unique version of success.

Alan Lazaros 1:12

Self-improvement in your pocket, every day, from anywhere, completely free.

Kevin Palmieri 1:19

Welcome to Next Level University. Next Level University, next Level Nation. Welcome back to another episode of Next Level University, where we help you level up your life, your love, your health and your wealth. Today, for episode number 1948, alan is showing a book that I guess he wants to talk about. We will get there. Be careful what you attach to. We talked about this recently. Alan couldn't sleep last night. He woke up at 3 am, had three glasses of chocolate, milk, protein, pup tart. And now he has reverted to young alan and he's a child quick quick 86 g's.

Alan Lazaros 2:01

This is the sound of a book. Right, that is a sound, the sound of a book For the audio only listeners.

Kevin Palmieri 2:06

We did an episode where I used the example of somebody who cares way more about their local sports team than they do their own business, someone who posts a ton about their local sports teams and how they know exactly what person's getting traded, and blah, blah, blah blah. They never post about their local sports teams and how they know exactly what person's getting traded, and blah, blah, blah blah. They never post about their business and they wonder why their business isn't growing and they wonder why they're making more friends in the football community or whatever sport it is. And there was a teaser clip that got pulled from that and somebody commented I think it was on TikTok or something, and it was well, aren't people allowed to be passionate about certain things? And isn't that what life's about? Blah, blah, blah. And again, it's a 30 or 60 second clip from a 35 minute podcast episode, so it's completely understandable. It's not about not having the opportunity to be passionate about something, about something. It's about the fact that when you get so attached to a sports team, when you get so attached to a movie, when you get so attached to a musical artist, you might be setting yourself up for failure number one. And if you were as attached to certain outcomes in your life, you would probably have a much better and betters in quotes, quote unquote life.

Kevin Palmieri 3:28

And I'm somebody who loves, I love ufc, I love mixed martial arts, but I try not to attach myself too much to it because you never know, I don't. I don't want to obsess over a fighter. I do. There are certain fighters I like and when they lose it makes me sad, but I don't want to let it wreck my week, because if it wrecks my week then I'm just not in control of my mood and there's already enough things that are trying to to mess with my mood. But Alan wanted to do this episode. So if you're going to villainize anybody for this episode, make sure it's.

Alan Lazaros 3:59

I've been saying this a lot lately. If anyone has any hate mail send it by. Kevin at nextleveluniversecom.

Kevin Palmieri 4:05

Please don't, please don't. I am fragile, I really am. I'm obviously joking, so please don't.

Alan Lazaros 4:10

Hopefully that's clear. By the way, I realized at the beginning of this episode, when I was doing all the book stuff and you talked about chocolate, milk and a protein pop tart, when I said 86 grams of protein.

Kevin Palmieri 4:21

Not that you made $86,000 at 2 am this morning.

Alan Lazaros 4:25

Yeah, I couldn't sleep. So here's the backstory I couldn't sleep and the last thing I ever want to do is wake Emilia up, because sleep is a priority. My sleep score was a 70, so I still did okay, but anyways. So when I can't sleep I've been just reading, because number one it puts you to bed. I mean, books are boring, let's be real. Not all of them, but a lot of them, most of them, so most of them. But so anyways, I was one of the books that I was reading last night because I woke up several times and couldn't fall back to sleep. So I read three different books, but Not the whole thing, some of them. And here's what I do. This is my routine. I, I pick a book I like. We have several shrewd amongst our entire house. We have books in every room Shrewd. It's like a giant library. Is our house, say, strewn or strewed? Strewed, I think? I don't know the correct word no strewn Strewn.

Kevin Palmieri 5:16

Strewed, dude, I don't know. I think I have to look it up while you do this, while you speak here, but I think it's strewn, not strewed. You gonna chat GPT that thing.

Alan Lazaros 5:29

No, Okay, there are books all across our home Strew. What is the past tense of it, Strewn? We apologize for wasting everyone's time on this useless word. There are books all across the house and I go over to emilia's bookshelf that has mostly her books on it. One of her books is the mastery of self, right there, boom, it's on camera and I love self-mastery. So I was like you know what? I'm gonna give this a shot. However, I also know this author and some of the books that this author's read and, uh, written, and I I actually am not fan of the book, so I do not recommend it. I cannot authentically recommend it.

Realization after a hard night

Alan Lazaros 6:10

However, the very first thing I do when I open a book is I go to the table of contents and then I look at the chapter titles and chapter two is understanding our domestication and attachments and I go, hmm, page nine, let's go over to page nine. Boom, and then I just read a chapter and sometimes I get through it, sometimes I don't, but I love cherry picking what I'm interested in at a given moment, because books can be very boring, so I try to pick things that are that are not. Sometimes I do front to back with books, but not always okay. So here I am and I'm reading the chapter on attachment books, but not always Okay. So here I am and I'm reading the chapter on attachment and it's talking about how dangerous it can be when you attach your self-worth, your self-esteem and your identity to something. So when someone says our team won, what they're saying is I attach my identity to whether or not this team wins. Now, there's pros and cons to that and that's the point of this episode. The pro to that is the games are more exciting. Now there's pros and cons to that and that's the point of this episode. The pro to that is the games are more exciting.

Alan Lazaros 7:07

Back in 2007, it was the only time in my life where I can authentically say I was a football fan. I played football when I was a kid flag football. I played a lot of football when I was very, very, very young, but I never really watched it. I never got super into it. 2007 was an exception. I was a freshman in college between 2007 and 2008. And the football season, tom brady and the new england patriots and I know for our global listeners you've already shut off completely because american football is stupid in your eyes, but anyways. So they were the best team in the history of the nfl. They were undefeated, the only team to have a fully undefeated season, both regular season and playoffs. So they're in the Super Bowl, obviously best team of all time. They're playing the New York Giants, New England and New York big rivals.

Alan Lazaros 7:55

I got caught up in it, I did. I got caught up in the hoopla, I did. Huge fan of Tom Brady. He's very self-mastery, he loves it. I was, and again, don't associate me with Tom Brady, but whatever, the point is that his work ethic, his discipline, his leadership, rock solid and he was inspiring. I was looking for a male role model and he was very inspiring. They lost the game. They did. It was a wild catch at the end on someone's helmet. You know the guy's name, I don't david tyree. Okay, most famous catch probably in nfl history biggest upset, one of the biggest upsets in nfl history.

Alan Lazaros 8:36

Whatever, I don't care, sorry, I really kind of don't. But the point is is that I was in my dorm room at wpi wishapai technical institute, massachusetts, so we're in new england and most of the other I really kind of don't. But the point is that I was in my dorm room at WPI Worship Polytechnic Institute, massachusetts, so we're in New England, and most of the other people in the dorm it's a global college are not from New England. There's another guy I forget his name, damn, sean, sean, my man, sean Comes out pumped. He hates the New England Patriots. So he comes out pumped, strewn down the hallway. We called ourselves riley one. Again, identity attachment, riley one our dorm room. And I come out fuming I cannot believe they just lost this game. And I'm pissed. And he comes out like ha ha, ha ha. You know, and all of us are from new england, not all of us. But I say Sean, you better get back in your room now. He saw my face and he immediately went back into his dorm room and locked the door and again, I was a college student and I was pissed.

Alan Lazaros 9:35

Later that night I had a really hard night and I was like what am I doing? This is the dumbest shit ever. I'm attaching my self-esteem to whether or not the Patriots do well Like. I got to opt out of this and again, I'm not trying to make anyone wrong for this. I know there's a lot of fans of a lot of artists and support teams and all that kind of stuff, but this is Next Level University. We're here to help you reach your potential.

Alan Lazaros 9:58

How does the Patriots, winning or losing, help me reach my potential? How does it help me become more healthy, wealthier, losing help me reach my potential? How does it help me become more healthy, wealthier, more in love? That's why we're here. The truth is it doesn't. And if I attach any of my identity to whether or not the Patriots win, it is going to affect my emotions and when my emotions.

Alan Lazaros 10:16

We all know when we're down and out, it's harder to get up and grind, it's harder to do hard stuff, and so later that night I had such a bad night I was thinking you know what I gotta? I gotta stop this. This is not rational. I can't do this anymore. And from that day until now, I decided to never again get overly influenced by anything external, and I can authentically say I've never been that attached to any sports team or to any artist or to anything external of myself. Since and I do think that, with a few exceptions okay, I am attached to the weight on the scale, I am attached to the aesthetics in the mirror, I am attached to the business grew by 11% in 2024. So I'm not super thrilled about that, but I also am proud of that. In many regards, I am attached to certain metrics and goals and habits, and here's the last thing I'll share Self-mastery to the point of the book, even though I think the book is hot garbage.

Alan Lazaros 11:11

The point of the book is, if you want to master the self, you have to make sure that you keep your what you say, think, do feel and believe within your own control. Your emotions are your own. Yes, kevin and I are in Some of the things I've said. You've disliked Some of the things I've said. You've liked Some of it. You're fired up, ready to rock Some of it. You're not. Be very, very careful with what you attach yourself to. Be very, very careful with who you attach yourself to, because that is influencing you whether you're aware of it, consciously or not.

Kevin Palmieri 11:50

What an epic monologue to follow up. You know what a what an epic monologue to follow up. You know my thoughts are. My thoughts are true about.

Alan Lazaros 12:00

Kev was thrilled to do this episode.

Kevin Palmieri 12:02

I didn't want to do this episode. I'll be very honest, not that I didn't, I just I know, that. It's because I think there's a lot of people that would say, dude, your life must be so boring. And they're right. Let's talk about it. Because I think there's a lot of people that would say, dude, your life must be so boring, and they're right. Let's talk about it. They're right, in fairness. They're right, there's not a lot of.

Alan Lazaros 12:20

Let's talk about it, Because I Remember what's optimal for you and your future is usually boring.

Kevin Palmieri 12:26

Well, and what's optimal for? Again? I was on a podcast today. I was like I'm sorry, I'm going to sound like a broken record and you're going to get so annoyed with me by the end of this. It depends. The answer to the question is it really depends on core values, core beliefs and core aspirations, and I just kept saying I would answer it and I would go again. I just want to point back to the fact that it all depends. What's optimal for you is different than what's optimal for somebody else. Always. That's something we've talked about many times.

Alan Lazaros 12:58

Share the other side of the coin, number one. You think my life must be boring. I actually. I think it's wonderful. I think it's more fulfilling than ever. I think it's the best it's ever been. Holistically, I would yeah. But I also think that you and I can do a good job of you sharing the other perspective, Like what is someone, what might someone be thinking when they're hearing my monologue?

Kevin Palmieri 13:22

One how do you just decide one day you're not going to attach yourself to anything. That's one. So you just like, decided that, and then where do you get?

Alan Lazaros 13:35

I probably made it sound easier than it was. I've had to be very careful over time and hyper conscious I I'm constantly.

Alan Lazaros 13:41

so let me clarify I'm constantly reassessing what I'm attaching my self-esteem to and and what outcomes I'm I'm detaching to because, like, whether or not Emilia and I are good is something I'm attached to. I'm consciously and intentionally putting time and effort into making sure her and I are good. However, if her and I are not 10 out of 10 and I can't podcast because I'm a wreck, I gotta be careful of that too. So this is attachment style theory and stuff like that. But I'm glad we're doing this, so what else?

Kevin Palmieri 14:15

The thing that I would probably think if I was listening is it just sounds so boring. What do you get excited about? I know you get excited about movies. Yeah, film. What's the difference between excitement and attachment?

Alan Lazaros 14:30

Excitement is. I'm super pumped. Gladiator 2 is coming out. I can't wait to go see it. And attachment is if this movie sucks, it's gonna wreck my week. It has to be a certain way.

Kevin Palmieri 14:44

Yeah, excitement is looking forward to attachment, as it has to fill a certain thing.

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Alan Lazaros 14:49

Yeah yeah, and I think that one of the reasons why we attach so much to certain outcomes outside of ourselves is because we feel so out of control. So the more mature I've gotten over the years, the less attached I am to any one thing. Nlu listener, what is happening? I just wanted to jump in here and let you know if you want to get to the next level faster. We have a free virtual monthly meetup at the first Thursday of every month. You can connect with like-minded people and become a bigger part of this amazing global community. The link to register will be in the show notes and I just really want people to live a bigger, brighter future and and build it.

Alan Lazaros 15:33

And if you're allowing whether or not your sports team won or lost to affect your emotions and that affects your productivity, which it does how could it not? That's gonna affect your future. I want your future to be in your fucking control and yes, I'm swearing on purpose like kev, your future is within your control to a drastic extent compared to what it used to be. So I want to flip the script here and ask you like you're not attached to a bunch of stuff like you used to be. You used to be so attached to a bunch of stupid stuff and stupid's probably the wrong label, but, like you, would let things affect you more back then I would say I was more attached to trivial things.

Alan Lazaros 16:10

Yeah, and talk to me about what is the downside of that, rather than me like coming off pretentious.

Kevin Palmieri 16:18

I would say there would be a lot of manufactured excitement and then usually let down is what I would say. I remember, I remember and again I'm weird with stuff like this. I think it's just the rebel in me that's always wanted to be significant and I just never knew how. But I remember when everybody was like heartbroken at the way game of thrones ended. There was a little ego piece of me.

Focus on what truly matters

Alan Lazaros 16:44

It's like I've never seen it so I don't care, but I everybody's losing their mind brother, that's a perfect example where how you feel, what you focus on, determines what you feel. What you feel determines what you do. We all know when we feel like crap, we do less. You just came off of a week of being sick. You were far less productive, and I know you were still productive, but far less for sure. Now it's very dangerous to put, and this is one of the reasons why I try really hard not to attach my well-being to things that I can't control, like I'm not attached to, like whether or not the patriots win, because the pro of that is the games are more exciting.

Alan Lazaros 17:29

Let's be real for sure the downside of that is if they don't win. And again, let me share this I remember when I had so many friends in the past um, so many friends. That comes off wrong, probably, but I had a lot of friends in the past high school friends, college friends, corporate friends. I was friends, friends, friends. I mean that was a big part of my paradigm before 26 and we would all watch football on sund and they would be devastated when the Patriots would lose a playoff game and they'd be out of the playoffs and they would be so sad and they would literally say I'm not kidding. Verbatim they would say, oh, this, I have to wait until next year. This is gonna suck like I'm. Oh, you know this week is gonna blow.

Alan Lazaros 18:12

They would say things like that and I remember thinking to myself like why don you know this week is going to blow? They would say things like that and I remember thinking to myself, like why don't you just make the week not suck? Like just go to the gym? Or like do things you love? There's ways to be fulfilled, there's things that matter and there's things that don't, and I think a lot of people tie, a lot of. You can't give level 10 time and effort to something that's level two valuable and then expect to be fulfilled, I guess and again, this is NLU. So we're I'm not trying to be on some soapbox, but I do know that this is scientifically true. Like the people who tie their self-esteem you can research this the people who tie their self-esteem to things outside themselves. That's a very, very dangerous thing to do from a psychological, mental health perspective.

Kevin Palmieri 18:56

Well, I think if you're attaching to happiness, it's very dangerous. If you're attaching to things that make you happy, it's very dangerous. If you're attaching to things that make you fulfilled, it's probably more constructive and productive and probably positive overall. Because if, if volunteering at the local food shelter hypothetically is something that is super fulfilling to you and you find out the food shelter's closing down, that might wreck your day, like I could understand that, but it's not because a trivial sports team didn't make the playoffs.

Alan Lazaros 19:32

Yeah, it's something that really impacts your ability to be fulfilled. Yeah, I think that's different and your future is going to be built by you, not by someone else. Like, okay, the fast food industry makes, okay, where US is the most obese country on planet Earth, everyone knows that. Okay, you can't do anything about the fast food industry for the most part. I mean you can influence it. Maybe you can go on strike, like there's a little bit of influence you could have. But you know what you have full control over, whether or not you eat it for sure. And to me that's what NLU is about is focus on you not eating it. And again, I'm not against necessarily fast food, so don't don't quote me on that, because I love it sometimes. But the point is is like I'd rather you focus on something you have a hundred percent control over than tie so much attachment to something you have no control over, cause then you're you're basically being controlled rather than being in control and captaining your own life.

Kevin Palmieri 20:31

Well, I think it's. One of the reasons we do attach to things is because it it gives us the what's the word I'm looking for? Uh, representation of certainty Illusion. It gives us the illusion of certainty. If you attach to something, it makes you feel certain for a time, and I think, when the opposite happens, it makes you feel certain for a time and I think when the opposite happens, it makes you feel extremely uncertain, and then that uncertainty releases emotions and then those emotions affect you in whatever way. But again, I don't know If it's. I think there are some things that you have to be attached to.

Alan Lazaros 21:18

So what would you say to younger Kev? Because, again, I always want to go back there because you are the best. You're the best example of someone who was unfulfilled and lost and very hopeless and you've said that, not me and who now has a meaningful, fulfilling life that has been very much self-made in in many regards. No one, no one's fully self-made, but you know what I'm saying.

Kevin Palmieri 21:40

I did build this computer with my hands and this internet connection and my cell phone.

Alan Lazaros 21:46

The entire business by yourself, I built everything technology and electricity with my hands.

Kevin Palmieri 21:52

What would I tell I?

Alan Lazaros 21:54

younger kev. If you didn't change this wouldn't have gotten here right.

Kevin Palmieri 21:58

You've been slowly taking back control of your own sort of life if you're building your proverbial fantasy football team more than you're building your future, your future is going to suck nice, it's not going to be. It's not going to be good. Now, I'm not saying you can't play fantasy sports. I'm not saying you can't watch sports. I'm not saying you can't be passionate about music. I think that's all awesome, that's, it's not. I don't think that's a bad thing. But once you cross a certain threshold and you're living more for sunday because that's when sports are are than you are for monday, tuesday, wednesday, thursday, friday and saturday, that's where thing I love, love Saturday, saturday UFC's on, love it, but I it's not the thing. Yeah, this weekend, saturday, real big fights on. I'm excited. I'll be betting on some of these fights. And again, this is how focused we are on getting out of debt and staying on a budget. I have ten dollars.

Kevin Palmieri 22:59

Okay, seriously, think about how boring my fucking life is and again I understand ten dollars in some parts of the world's a lot of money. And just sit with me on this one. I literally bet like 25 cents or 50 cents, if I'm really feeling sure of it on a fight, so I bet like a total of like five bucks over the course. It sucks super boring, but when I lose it's not that big of a deal. It's not that it's not that big of a deal because I'm not super invested and I think that's the that's another word we could use attachment invested.

Alan Lazaros 23:33

Those are very similar, really cool metaphor if you're super attached to whether or not you win the Powerball, you're in a lot of trouble, because the chances of you winning the Powerball is completely out of your control.

Kevin Palmieri 23:43

Well, especially if you're more attached to that than you are doing the other stuff because you're not going to win statistically, just not going to win.

Alan Lazaros 23:52

So you and I had mentors in the past, coaches, mentors, blah, blah, blah. And they would say like, detach from outcome. And you and I behind the scenes would say, I don't know, that sounds stupid a little bit. I understand now that it was a blanket statement that makes sense in certain contexts. Let me rephrase it. And this is what we do at nlu we take these bumper sticker self-improvement that kevin says and we make them a little deeper and maybe more accurate. All right, instead of detach from outcome blanket statement, which not true. Don't detach from every outcome. Okay yeah, just leave your house unlocked and whatever, if someone comes in just ask how it goes.

Alan Lazaros 24:35

How goes it man, right at 2 am? So don't detach from outcome. That's, that's unintelligent. What I've come to understand is detach from the outcomes that you have no control over to the best of your ability and reallocate that time, effort and money into the things that you do have some control and influence over. And if you do that consistently and sustainably over time and become more intelligent and and grow personal growth, you will be able to. You can't control the wind, but you can be a better sailor, and that's what we're saying here. Don't attach your self-esteem to the wind. Attach your self-esteem to becoming a better sailor and fixing your fucking sailboat. I, I, I'm intense, but that's the truth. Like that's what my coaching is, that's what nlu is like.

Alan Lazaros 25:23

All this up these episodes are is one percent improvement in your pocket every day, from anywhere on the planet, completely free. It's every single day saying hey, take back a little control. Hey, take back a little more control. Hey, have you thought of this? Hey, what if you tried this? Hey, have you thought of this? Hey, what if you tried this? Hey, have you considered this? All we're doing is take a little bit back, a little bit back, a little bit back.

Alan Lazaros 25:43

Control your own, what you say, think, do, feel and believe just a little more each day. And when you do that, it compounds. And, kev, you have self-belief now. You believe your future is brighter than your past. I can see it all over you, to the point where you're starting to worry about sounding arrogant, too Dude. In the past, when I first met Kev, he didn't have that. He did not have that. Go back to the older episodes. He was lost and again I was too, compared to now, but not to that extent, and I just feel like we can all get to a place where we feel confident in our own abilities to sail better. It's not about the wind, it's not about the weather. You can never control that, but you can control your, your sailboat. You can build a better sailboat. You can learn how to build a better sailboat, you can learn how to set a better sail, and that's your beliefs and your emotions and stuff like that.

Kevin Palmieri 26:37

Well, I think it's just a conversation of if. Right now, it's 80% just attached to something that just doesn't matter and 20% attached to your life and the outcomes in your life. We've got to pivot that if you want a more fulfilling life. That would be like the simplest blanket statement I guess you could use If, right now, the only thing that matters is Saturday because X happens or Sunday because X happens, this is a conversation. It's a deeper conversation of priorities and a lot of things right, because it's just not going to be a very fulfilling life and it's not going to be sustainable. What happens when your team gets out of the playoffs? Then?

Kevin Palmieri 27:19

Then you have to wait until next year, right, that's not sustainable for anybody.

Alan Lazaros 27:22

Exactly. That's not sustainable for anybody. You can't have a third of the year suck because your team isn't playing.

Kevin Palmieri 27:28

And even if it's a positive thing, same thing. If the only time if you're so attached to the outcome on the scale, the only time you ever feel good is when it goes in a certain direction at a certain rate, that's also very dangerous. So I think attachment in anything, depending on how much self-belief and self-worth and all that that we talk about all the time, that's like a deeper conversation probably.

Rebuilding self-worth through intentionality

Alan Lazaros 27:50

So, last thing, I know we got to jump. The thing that I try to tie my self-esteem to is the amount of intentionality and effort, time and effort I attach a lot to. If Kevin and I are going to lose, I want to be proud of the work we did and how hard we tried. And if we're going to fail, I'm okay with it. I'm not okay with failing because of lack of effort. And to me, I think it makes sense to tie your self-esteem to your own conscious intentionality and effort and I think that that's really powerful. Over time and if you do that enough times, you will, you will, you'll, you'll get better and better and better and I think that's really powerful.

Alan Lazaros 28:34

Versus in the past, you know, ruined my whole night when the Patriots lost the Superbowl and then maybe my whole week and I just realized, you know, this is, this is unintelligent, this is irrational and I can't. I can't. I'm going to reattach my self-esteem to my grades or to my effort in homework or whatever. And again, it wasn't necessarily that. It was probably status and girls and college and partying, of course, right. But at the end of the day I do think as you mature you realize you're more careful with your attachments.

Kevin Palmieri 29:03

I would say I would say that is an accurate representation and a good place to lean into More and more again. If it's 80% one way and 20% the other in the first way we talked about, I other in the first way we talked about. I feel like that's just going to be a recipe for hyper unfulfilling life, and I've been there.

Outro

Kevin Palmieri 29:22

I've been there, so I very much understand. Okay, as always, we love you, we appreciate you, grateful for each and every one of you at NLU. We don't have fans, we have family. We will talk to you all tomorrow.

Alan Lazaros 29:31

Stay next level, next level nation.

Kevin Palmieri 29:36

Thanks for joining us for another episode of Next Level University. We love connecting with the Next Level family.

Alan Lazaros 29:42

We mean it when we say family. If you ever need anything, please reach out to us directly. Everything you need to get a hold of us is in the show notes.

Kevin Palmieri 29:51

Thank you again and we will talk to you tomorrow.