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What Are The Benefits Of The Worst Advice You’ve Ever Gotten? (1950)

• Kevin Palmieri and Alan Lazaros

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Have you ever been told to “just stop overthinking”? What if that’s exactly what makes you successful? In this episode, hosts Kevin Palmieri and Alan Lazaros unpack the worst advice they’ve ever received and explore how bad advice can ironically lead to clarity, purpose, and growth. From being told to "stop worrying" to "think less," they share personal stories of how ignoring misguided advice helped them lean into their strengths and values.

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Show notes:
(1:38) Kevin shares the worst advice he’s ever received
(3:40) The power of deep thinking and self-awareness
(6:18) The evolutionary importance of thinking and worry
(7:24) How knowing your values can guide your choices
(9:14) Balancing healthy concern with taking action
(19:09) Pain vs. progress: Why discomfort is key to growth
(21:30) At NLU, we want you to win! So, we're giving tools and resources to ensure your success. Join our Monthly Meet-up every first Thursday of the month at 5 PM.
(31:30) The danger of advice from people who don’t understand your journey
(44:57) Outro

Send a text to Kevin and Alan!

🎙️ Hosted by Kevin Palmieri and Alan Lazaros

Next Level University is a top-ranked daily podcast for dream chasers and self-improvement lovers. With over 2,100 episodes, we help you level up in life, love, health, and wealth one day at a time. Subscribe for real, honest, no-fluff growth every single day.

The Power of Overcoming Bad Advice

Kevin Palmieri

it's just not great . Like we're pretty good at suffering that comes from . I mean , something's got to get pulled from somewhere to get that . I always I want to try to be the person that gives the advice of look , if I was you and I valued what you value really , if I really valued what you really value deep within , I wouldn't do this Because I don't value what you value .

Alan Lazaros

There's this quote again leaders act their way into feeling People that aren't leaders . They try to feel their way into action and that's why they don't follow through . I think feeling your way into action is really hard to do , unless you've got a hell of a lot of caffeine , because you just never feel like it . No's gonna feel like jumping on the stairmaster you , next Level Nation .

Kevin Palmieri

Welcome back to another episode of Next Level University , where we help you level up your life , your love , your health and your wealth . Today , for episode number 1,950 , what are the benefits of the worst advice you've ever gotten ? I did a really cool podcast pre-call today and the podcast was all about what is the worst advice you've gotten , and we're going to do an entire episode on that . So we need to dive into your story . We need to figure out well what are the benefits , what are the detriments , all of this . And they said what's the worst advice you've ever gotten ? And I said I was , and you know this Great podcast and their dial like I had a call with the producer so they could figure out how things were going to go . Very well done , very put together , strong work , laura for connecting us with them . So I said I you've heard this before NLU Indians .

Kevin Palmieri

I said the worst advice I ever got was from a young lady that I was dating who got mad at me at the end of us dating and it wasn't like we went on a couple of dates this wasn't girlfriend . But the last thing she said was you think way too much , why can't you just go with it , like why do you have to think and overthink about everything ? And the producer said why was that important to you ? And I said because at the time I would fit any box for love , any box for love . I just wanted to be loved . So the fact that I was able to lean into me and own my identity as someone who is different and I think thinking is a good thing and I think that's really powerful that was a huge unlock for me . And I said I took pride in the fact that I was somebody who thought a lot . And now , look , and I said now we have almost 2,000 episodes essentially about overthinking and philosophy and self-improvement and self-worth and self-belief and habits and all that stuff . I don't know if that ever would have happened if that person didn't say that to me .

Kevin Palmieri

I , for science , went and looked at this person today to see what they're doing and again , trigger warning . I don't mean this from a negative place . They're doing the same exact shit they were doing in 2017 . Nothing has changed and maybe they're fulfilled with that . When I was talking to this person , they seemed very fulfilled by the fact that they got to do all of the hobbies they wanted . They got to work with . The people they got to work with . They didn't seem like somebody to me who was very unfulfilled . So maybe them thinking to the degree I think isn't right for them , but that doesn't mean it's not right for me and that made me want to do this episode , because I think the worst advice you've ever gotten is the worst advice you've ever gotten because it went directly against what you wanted to do , what you thought you were supposed to do , what you thought was best for you . So I thought it would make for a cool episode and then Alan might get fired up and moonwalk around his office or something . That's what we're going for today .

The Power of Critical Thinking

Alan Lazaros

I seriously doubt that it's been a day . It's . I seriously doubt that it's been a . It's been a day , it's been a week , it's been a month and it meant a year in a decade and a life . It's been a life it's been a real one .

Kevin Palmieri

It's been a real one also I'm wearing a long sleeve shirt , so I couldn't tell you the last time I was wearing a long sleeve shirt . It's cold lately , man , it's not even that , it's just . I was like . I feel like we're in a long sleeve shirt today .

Alan Lazaros

I like it . I have a nice long sleeve collared shirt that I love only for the winter time . I think not thinking is an a less intelligent way to live . I was reading a book . Which book was this switch ? No , sapiens . There's a book called sapiens . I've been reading that a lot . I've been reading a bunch of different books lately . I can't freaking sleep so I just read to try to go back to sleep .

Alan Lazaros

And sapiens is talking about all the different types of sapiens before homo sapiens and how at one point there was a bunch of different types of us . You know there's a bunch of different species of dog . There was a bunch of different species of I don't know if species is the right , no . So dog is a species and there's a bunch of different subsets of that species . Don't quote me on any of this . Here's the deal Brains , our brains , are the biggest , and in sapiens it's talking about how 25% of our daily caloric intake up to 25% is used in thinking , and thinking is very costly from an evolutionary perspective .

Alan Lazaros

That's why a lot of us don't want to do it . When you don't get good sleep and you're hungover , the last thing you want to do is think deeply , and so I've been talking to Amelia a lot lately about what is the number one most important thing to us , like if we had to think about what's the most important thing for our health . We are optimizing for brain health . I know that sounds really nerdy , but bear with me and I promise I'll bring it back . If you're like this isn't the point of the episode , I'll bring it back . We are focused on our sleep scores because that's the number one most important thing for great brain health . There's a lot of TED talks . There's a lot of research around this Great sleep , great brain , awesome . Why ? Because if you look at human beings , what makes us different ? What makes us different is that we can think . We have something called a prefrontal cortex where we can project into the future , we can innovate , we can change the world . That's what this whole podcast is about . It's about thinking .

Alan Lazaros

Change the way you think , change the way you act , change the way you live was the hyperconscious podcast motto . That's what we started all those years ago . Mine was conversations change lives . Kevin's was the hyperconscious podcast . I was his first guest , he was my first guest and now hyperconscious conversations are changing lives at Next Level university .

Alan Lazaros

So the reason I say all that is . I do think that's terrible advice . I think thinking is amazing . Very first self-improvement book I ever got .

Alan Lazaros

I talked about on the last episode a while back last week how successful people think . When you think differently , you can change your whole world . The ancestor to every action is a thought . Boom quotes . All right , worst piece of advice that I've ever gotten here we go very similar but different . Same , same but different , as emily would say .

Alan Lazaros

Nice , worst piece of advice I got was oh , you worry too much , don't worry about that . You worry , you worry too much , don't think about about it , don't worry so much . And I'm sitting there thinking to myself and again , I'm going to keep this anonymous . But the people that would say this I'm thinking to myself what do you mean ? Like you just let it ride ? Like everyone right now out there watching or listening , think about someone who's coast mode . They're not thinking , they're not concerned , they're not worrying about anything , they're just zen , they're just doing their , they're on autopilot . Are they super fulfilled ? Are they super fit ? Are they happy , healthy , wealthy , productive ? Are they madly in love ? I just got off a relationship talks event about protective dietic coping . It's a form of protecting your partner from the truth and not having enough courage to share vulnerable truths and basically you grow apart from your partner without even meaning to , because you're too scared to actually share the truth . That was all thinking , that was all contemplating , that was all being concerned . To me , worry is concern and your circle of concern dictates what you improve , and so if you're not worried at all about your health , you're probably not going to work super hard on it . Versus I recently . I'll share this .

Aging Concerns and Self-Care

Alan Lazaros

I was in , I was in my mid thirties , as if I'm not anymore at 35 . I tend to look very young . I , prepubescent , didn't hit puberty till thirties . It's like a joke I would make . Look very young . I prepubescent , didn't hit puberty till 30s . It's like a joke I would make .

Alan Lazaros

And 2024 was a very stressful year for us at NLU . We grinded a lot , I definitely did . And as someone who used to joke about looking so damn young , I had a few moments and this is the first time in my life that I've felt this way where it's like , oh my God , am I aging poorly ? And I went nine years without getting sick and I got sick twice in 2024 . Like , obviously I need to make some changes . Right , take care of the acid . Take care of myself , put the oxygen mask on yourself first , so that you can help others . And I also am going to be marrying with , and going to be marrying someone who's 30 . She's six , almost seven years younger than me , so she's aging much better and so it's noticeable , right ? It's like , oh okay , interesting , so I'm old grandpapa yeah yeah , it's weird , I'm 14 , she was seven .

Alan Lazaros

It's like that's weird , um , I'm 36 and she's just turned 30 . And just for the record , alan did not know her when she was 7 .

Kevin Palmieri

It's like that's weird , um , I'm 36 and she's just turned 30 and just for the record , alan did not know her when she was 7 . Then yeah , thank you for that .

Alan Lazaros

I'm hoping everyone can extrapolate that I didn't know she existed when I was 14 , uh . But my point of this is I realized that I'm not aging as well as I would like and I'm definitely not sleeping as well as I could and I'm certainly not hydrating well . Honestly I'm , I'm out of water right now , like I'm my voice a little bit . I'm concerned , I'm worried , I'm worried about it . Now , is that worry gonna cause massive anxiety and I'm gonna age even worse ? No , no , no , I'm not saying over worried .

Alan Lazaros

I'm saying I'm concerned about my aging Because I want to have a long , happy , healthy , productive life . I want to have children . I want to have a long , happy , healthy , productive life . I want to have children . I want to be able to play sports with my kids and I'm going to be 60 when they're in their teens , probably depending and I want to be fully capable . And the only way I can do that is if I concern myself enough to do mobility and to hydrate and to sleep well and to take care of myself and to make sure I diet at least a little bit . I got to make sure I get my salads in , get my micronutrients , macronutrients .

Alan Lazaros

So people say , don't worry about it , and I think to myself . Well , I think maybe you should have concerned yourself a little more . Had you concerned yourself with your weight or your career or your resume or whatever , you'd be in a much better spot . So these people say these things but they don't understand the implications of them and again , I have some empathy for that . But why are you projecting onto me saying you should think less , you should worry less , when I'm sitting there going ? Honestly , it would have behooved you to have thought a little more and worried a little more .

Kevin Palmieri

You think it's just core values and core beliefs .

Alan Lazaros

At the end of the day . I know you don't like the word ignorance . I honestly think it's a little bit ignorant . I don't think it's just core values . I think it's a lack of evolution .

Kevin Palmieri

Anyone who ?

Alan Lazaros

has more evolved thinking . Knows that worrying is part of .

Kevin Palmieri

Let me clarify , sorry , let me clarify Because I can understand Not just that , but when somebody gives you , when somebody tries to give you blanket statement advice to a specific , I think oftentimes it's because they value Anytime . Somebody says you should work less , I understand that if you don't like work and you were me , you would think that I would want to work less .

Alan Lazaros

Yeah , which is is , by definition , ignorant . They don't understand your life , your core values your beliefs , your goals . They don't understand the implications of you working less I like unaware better than it's unaware okay , that's , that's a better word I think I'm ignorant . Is I like ignorant . I think ignorance a good word I want you to use the word that you like . I appreciate that but I do think unaware probably is less triggering is ignorant triggering word .

Kevin Palmieri

Is ignorant a triggering word ? I think so . Yeah , it comes off as toxic , a little bit . Unaware suggests that you can become aware . Ignorant , it just seems like you're kind of a lost cause , at least that's what I feel about it . That's a me . Maybe , that's a me thing , I don't know yeah .

Alan Lazaros

I was on with a client earlier . She said the reason why I think you struggle with effective communication and I do I do is because you care more about them learning than their feelings , and if their feelings hurt , they won't learn . You know that quote of people won't remember what you said or what you know . They'll only remember how you made them feel . Won't remember what you said or what you know , they'll only remember how you made them feel . I don't resonate at all with that . There are people that I've learned from that . I can't stand that's so hard for me I struggle so , so bad with that .

Alan Lazaros

I I do have a hard time with it , like there's one speech in particular that I think is world class . But I can't stand this person . I have a hard time watching his videos because I don't necessarily want to support him . And I think you vote with your time , you vote with your money and that kind of thing . But at the end of the day I try really hard to . My intellect is a little bit separate maybe than my emotions , compared to most maybe , and I don't know if that's good or bad , but I do know that how you feel about knowledge doesn't change whether or not it's accurate .

Kevin Palmieri

You know , yeah , but I think the teacher , I think it's very hard for me to take something from somebody if I don't take something useful from somebody and then implement it in my life , if I don't like their character . It's like a little piece of me , that's like I don't , you don't get to be a part of my life , like that , yeah , you don't get to be a part of me because I don't . I don't if you're , if you're willing to principle in .

Alan Lazaros

It doesn't matter who . So what's the abe lincoln code is ? There's no one . I've ever I learned from everyone , even if 99 of the time . It's what not to do like we're all warning and an example type of thing yeah , that's fair . That's always been hard for me , though but you're a feeler more than a thinker .

Alan Lazaros

I'm a thinker more than a feeler , so it makes sense it makes sense and I think that I I tend to resonate more with people who are more thinkers than feelers tend to resonate more with me and people who feel first , think second . You know that quote of you act your way into feeling instead of think your way into action . A lot of quotes yes .

Alan Lazaros

You , I think , are very good at this and I know we're getting off topic here but one of the things I've always asked you on this podcast for eight years . I'm trying to get you to explain it better . You are very disciplined compared to the statistical norm , and you get yourself to do things that you don't want to do all the time . Like how many things did you do that you didn't really feel like doing today ?

Kevin Palmieri

if I had any good excuse to cancel all the meetings I had , I would have liked to okay .

Alan Lazaros

So you didn't feel like doing almost anything . You did today . I felt like I did . Actually , I didn't feel like getting up anything you did today .

Kevin Palmieri

I felt like .

Kevin Palmieri

Actually I didn't feel like getting up . Taryn's been a little sick , so she's been coughing and I want to . I don't know . I feel bad if she's coughing and she's thinking about the fact that she's going to keep me up . So I slept on the couch last night I sleep amazing on the couch , always , it's great . But I woke up and it was like I don't really know if I want to get up today , let me just stay here for a minute . And then I woke up like seven minutes later I was like , oh shit , I almost , so I didn't really want to . I had a 9 am meeting . Shout out to Ron , we had a great meeting today . It's not you , ron .

Alan Lazaros

I just didn't want to get up and worried right now , not in a negative way . I'm concerned about how kevin's wired versus how I'm wired so that I can learn . And we're thinking about it . So you act your way into feeling pretty well . From what I've noticed , it's almost like you don't need to feel like it in order to do it . You'll do it and then feel like it after that's what I've noticed , okay so there's this quote again leaders act their way into feeling .

Alan Lazaros

Uh , people that aren't leaders , they , they try to feel their way into action and that's why they , they don't follow through . I think feeling your way into action is really hard , why they , they don't follow through . I think feeling your way into action is really hard to do unless you've got a hell of a lot of caffeine , because you just never feel like it . No one's gonna feel like jumping on the stairmaster . I don't want to do romwod . I don't want to do mobility . Rather , romwod is my mobility videos . That I do . I never feel like it , never . I have to force myself to do it . And then the question becomes well , how do you do that ? You just basically berate yourself to get yourself to do it , and and I think you do the same thing too , and I I'm not convinced that you . There's any other way .

Kevin Palmieri

Like and berate is probably the wrong word . Yeah , yeah , yeah , I have pain associated with not doing today . I woke up and I was a guy that . So I woke up at . I think I got off the couch at like 608 , and again this is gonna sound super dumb , and again this is not morning routine porn . But in the morning I don't . Every minute counts , from the second I get up to bed , from the second I get out of bed to the second I go to the gym , because things add up quickly yeah , it's in a very humbling way .

Kevin Palmieri

I mean , some days I wake up , I pee , I weigh myself , I go out , I make my pre-work and it's like 6.08 . It's like how the hell did 8 minutes . Did I fall back asleep on the way to the kitchen ? Or ?

Alan Lazaros

something . What the hell's going on ? This is one of the reasons why I struggle to be on time .

Kevin Palmieri

It's so much it adds up but I had a moment today where I'm going to the gym , I'm doing arms . I'm not going to do mobility . I don't really need to , and I said no , because tomorrow you're going to do legs and it's going to suck , and then you're going to , then you're going to be bitching on the podcast about how your legs hurt and then you're going to do this whole cycle again , like , just do mobility , just do it .

Alan Lazaros

So I have a lot of pain associated with not doing it . You have more pain associated with not doing it than with doing it , which is why you do it , yes , yes . And I I wonder sometimes if because I my coaching practice it's grow your business , but in order to do that , you have to get yourself to do things that you don't want to do . It's the want , love , hate framework . You want a great body , love exercise , hate dieting . That's me . Hate dieting , hate it . I have to kind of do it . I have to kind of do it , otherwise I won't be able to have the body that I want .

Alan Lazaros

So I have enough pain associated with not doing it , but I'll have more pain associated with it when I'm at the lake this summer and I don't have abs . That's going's gonna drive me nuts and again , I know that sounds like a dumb problem to have , but here's the truth . And bringing this back to thinking , I have to think about what I'm gonna do to kevin's bad advice that he's gotten , and then I have to worry about it . Now , if I'm not worried about having abs , I'm not gonna have abs . Dude , you can't get abs without worrying about it not unless you're 18 and you have good genetics .

Kevin Palmieri

I mean , back then it was different .

Alan Lazaros

Yeah , it was very honest then you kind of worried about it at least a little less .

Kevin Palmieri

You worried about it enough to lift consistently or whatever right so yeah , well , that's it might , yeah , but that's the hard thing is yeah , it might sound like a dumb thing or a dumb thing to focus on , but sometimes dumb things to somebody are meaningful things to other people . Exactly , it's meaningful . I told Alan I feel like a bodybuilder . Again , it's deeply meaningful for me to go to the gym and get a really good workout and see my body changing . I feel like I'm doing the things that got me here in the first place and it's just deeply meaningful . So much more about just the way I look . It's the process of it . There's something to that , and I can understand how somebody would see me flexing on Instagram saying like Kev , that's dumb or you're a meathead , whatever , whatever , sure , but that's deeply meaningful to me .

Kevin Palmieri

Why do you get to take pictures of the Taylor Swift concert when you go , but I can't take pictures when I go to the gym ? That's what's deeply meaningful to me , and I don't shame you for wanting to go party with T Swift . You do , you . You can post your beach pics , you can post your cookout pics , you can do all that . If that's what's deeply meaningful to you , awesome , but this is what's deeply meaningful to me . Question , and you might not have a good answer for this , but I figured might as well do it and see what happens . What's the worst ? What are you trying to say ? I'm kidding .

Kevin Palmieri

That's scared . Even Alan adjusted his glasses when he asked me that question .

Alan Lazaros

What's the worst advice you've gotten recently ?

Kevin Palmieri

I got that advice recently .

Alan Lazaros

You got that that's been a recurring theme . Yeah , okay , yeah , I got that advice and I was thinking about it because you asked me what's the worst advice you got , because of the origin story of the episode , which was that podcast . I think it's a great premise for a podcast , it's . I would love , I would love to be a guest on that show and just talk about all the bad advice . I think I've gotten more bad advice than good advice , quite frankly , but I probably remember the bad advice better .

Alan Lazaros

But that happened recently of like , well , sometimes you just got to be and I'm sitting there going why ? What do you mean ? I'm more fulfilled than you are . You are like there's a part of me that's I'm so much more fulfilled than this person I'm . I'm happy , healthy , productive , I'm in love , I'm , everything's going better for me than it is for you and , and you're giving me advice and it's like , wait a minute , but I'm more fulfilled than you are by a significant margin . Everything in my life is better than yours . And I'm not trying to be mean , I'm not even telling this person what they should or shouldn't do . They're telling me and I just don't know where that comes from .

Alan Lazaros

Why do people believe that they ? Because it's one thing for me to say for Kev to come to me and say hey man , how do I get abs ? And I'll be like brother , to be honest , you just gotta eat less calories and you gotta work out more . And then I can give him advice . Why would someone who's not going to the gym , not exercising , not not Crushing it in life , not fulfilled , like why do they give advice ? I don't , it doesn't make any sense to me because I don't feel like I've ever I give advice all the time . I do it for a living . I just don't . I'm not gonna like go up to kevin , be like hey , man , you should really consider like thinking less . I feel like you think too much because should really consider like thinking less . I feel like you think too much because , let's say , this person were to say that to you , the person that said that to you , do they have a better life than you from your perspective ? No , okay , do you think you're more fulfilled than them ?

Kevin Palmieri

I think if , if we were honest I and we both were very honest I would say yes .

Alan Lazaros

Yeah , do you feel like you're holistically more capable than this person ? I know this is uncomfortable , but no , no , yes . Do you think you have a bigger , better , brighter future ? Most likely than this person .

Kevin Palmieri

Yes .

Alan Lazaros

Do you think ?

Kevin Palmieri

you're more in love than this person ? Yes , and real quick , real quick . And I also understand that the way I live my life is probably not what's optimal for this person but they're projecting onto you what they believe you should do while while you're ahead that I not Whatever that is .

Alan Lazaros

That's like a it's like a blue belt coming to a black belt saying , hey man , the way you did that kick , it's just pretentious . It's really quite alarmingly pretentious . Like and this is why it's my favorite thing in the world to watch people try to coach you that you're ahead of . It's one of my favorites . Like you , that you're ahead of it's it's one of my favorites like . Watching kev get coached by someone who he's significantly ahead of in every regard is my favorite thing in the world . Because you're trying to be kind but part of you wants to say listen , dude , like I'm ahead of you in everything , just shut your mouth , I don't , I want to , and you don't say that .

Alan Lazaros

You don't say that because you're not a dick and you're respectful and I know you wouldn't say that , but it's so fascinating for me to sit there , watch you sort of I'm good , like no , no , I have to stuff to work on . I'm not saying it's just because I think there's something , there's something to be said for , or why is it that people are so quick to try to tell you what they think you should be when you're , like , significantly ahead of them in life ? Is that just arrogance ? Is that ignorance ? Is it lack of awareness ? Do they think they actually know better than you ? Is it a power ?

Kevin Palmieri

dynamic . I think it depends on a lot of things because a lot of the time it's invisible . Very rarely do I have somebody come up to me in the gym and say , hey , you should try it this way . That never happens , honestly . Now , again , I know a lot of the people in my gym and again , I'm not winning any trophies anytime soon , any bodybuilding or physique competitions . Trust me , I know there's a lot of people out there way , way , way better than me , but I've been doing this a long time and I know what I'm doing and I know stuff that other people don't , some people don't . So in the physical realm , where you can see results , I think it's different than when somebody says , like I can understand , pops never says this to me Because Pops is the man .

Kevin Palmieri

But he came over last night and I got out of the office at like 7 . And I went . Him and Taryn were at the table doing something and I went and gave him a hug . Hey , pops , love ya . Gave a kiss to Taryn . And then I went and ate in the bedroom and I was like nodding off when he was leaving at eight and I went , taryn was like hey , pops is leaving , you want to come give him a hug and a kiss . And I said , yeah , yeah , come on . And I came out , gave him a hug I love you , pops . And I said I'm sorry I wasn't very present tonight . He's got Kev . You know , I don't care , don't worry about it , but I can imagine if he did . It's like every time I come over , kev like crawls out of the office like a , like a squirrel , looking for a meal after a long day . Yeah , he's gonna die and I can . So then I can see where advice might come in again . Pops is the man . He doesn't do that , but I can understand .

Alan Lazaros

I don't know . Okay , what would you do if he did pops is the man because he doesn't do ? What would you do if he did Pops is the man because he doesn't do that ?

Kevin Palmieri

What would you do if he ? Was the type of person who did do that , I would say I'm working very , very , very hard to make sure that your daughter has the best future possible and I'm willing to sacrifice some things to get us there , and I love this . If I took you through my story , you'd understand how blessed I am to be able to do what I . I love this . I can't imagine doing anything else .

Alan Lazaros

This is the best , the people who do . I know Pops doesn't do this at all because he's awesome , but I think the people that do do that you steer clear of .

Kevin Palmieri

It depends . I've been trying to lean more and more , like my mom said it when I went down and saw her recently , she's like you got to be careful , you work too much . And I said , mom , I love what I do . I don't work too much , I'm fulfilled , I love what I do . This is the best Nice , like .

Kevin Palmieri

Remember at the beginning , when you and Mima told me I need to go get a job because I was so broke . Like that's not the case anymore . Like we're . It's different now . We're still . I'm still working really hard , yeah , but I don't want to go do something else . You know , I don't . It's different , it's . It's like one of the one of the things that gets really hard sometimes is when , when you're having a conversation with someone who wants to be a business owner and the first thing they talk about is how I want to work less though I . I'm not under that . That's not why I started this . I didn't and I say this all the time on podcast , I didn't start a business to work less . That's not what . That's not in my I don't think that's ever going to happen . When I'm 70 , am I going to work as many out ? Like ? Probably not . I don't know , who knows I might not . I'm gonna make it to 70 . Who knows ?

Alan Lazaros

I want to putting that out to the universe I do want to , but send it out to the universe I think that's , and if you concern yourself with longevity now , you increase your probability I track that , I track that sleep score every day you know it , man , every single day . I don't worry about it , you know , just don't worry about it .

Kevin Palmieri

I used to longevity I used to not worry about it , and I was . I was a walking zombie , but it's just all that , just to be said . If I don't know if the advice you get is ever really going to be that good , if the people giving you the advice don't understand you because it that's , I think that's one of the things I'll give us a gentle pat on the back . That we've done better at is understanding that my lifestyle is not optimal for most people . If you're a podcaster listening to this , I don't want you to do what we're doing . I don't think it's good for you , unless you want to do exactly what we're doing in the way we're doing it . But outside of that , I don't think it's that good for you . I don't think it's when I say somebody asked me this on a podcast . They did a lot of research , great show , he said .

Kevin Palmieri

I saw your story where you talked about how this journey has taken pieces of you . You'll never get back . Can you explain that ? And I started laughing . I was like it's just not healthy . It's just not healthy to do things the way we are just grunt , brute , force every day , like it's not good for most people . It's just not .

Kevin Palmieri

It's not great like we're pretty good at suffering , but that comes from I mean , that's something's got to get pulled from somewhere to get that , and I just don't . I always I want to try to be the person that gives the advice of look I , if I was you and I valued what you value really , if I really valued what you really value deep within . I wouldn't do this , yeah , because I don't value what you value .

Alan Lazaros

But that requires everyone's honest about what they really value . Yeah , I had to sit down with myself and really ask myself do I actually care that much about the holidays ? Do I really value them ? Them regardless of anyone else ? Like , imagine society wasn't a thing and imagine the alien comes down , like kevin said in the past , and you're talking to someone who doesn't know society , doesn't know culture , doesn't know , doesn't know christmas exists . Is that something that you care about ? Or is that mostly pavlov conditioning ? And that's a really powerful question to ask yourself do I really ?

Alan Lazaros

I remember one time someone's like no , no , you care about your birthday . You , no , no , you care . Come on , you care . And I remember thinking , no , I don't . And she's like well , you're triggered , so obviously you care . Like what I'm saying . Well , you're triggered , so obviously you care . Like what I'm saying is true , you're triggered . And I'm like no , I'm triggered because you don't know me . I'm triggered because you think you know me better than I know me .

Alan Lazaros

And , by the way , I've been contemplating myself every day for the last decade and you haven't done a lick of the work that I've done . What gives you the right to tell me what I do and don't value ? I'm not even doing that for you . Even in my coaching it sounds like I'm telling people about them and sometimes I can bring some new awarenesses , but at the end of the day I always say this and all my clients would attest to this I honor what you choose . I said this to one of my clients once . I said that person is toxic as hell and you need to get away from them if , if you want to hit this goal that you've told me , this really high goal that you've told me , it's from my mathematical understanding of business and success you're not going to be able to hit this mark and be that close to someone like that . And I said after that call , she owned it . She said you're absolutely right , that person's super toxic , like I got to get out and I found out they threw a hammer at her head not long after that .

Alan Lazaros

But the point is is like this I said I honor whatever you choose . It's not my job to tell you how to live . I can tell you what I'm observing . I can tell you what I believe to be true and I do think it's probably accurate , since I'm objective and that's my job . But at the end of the day , you choose your own partner . I'm not here to choose your life for you .

Alan Lazaros

And for some reason , some people in my life they think that they get to tell me how I live yeah , and they say well , your , your writing is too complex , you think too much . You , you know you're too smart , you use too many big words . It's like why are we ? Why , why can't ? Aren't other people trying to get smarter ? Like shouldn't ? Shouldn't other people try to understand more ? Maybe read more ? Like you read too much , you , it's I read too much . Like don't you not read enough ? Where's the ?

Alan Lazaros

And again all of this comes down to all of us have been conditioned from society and from our parents and from our aunts and uncles , and from judgmental friends and friend groups and all that stuff . And at the end of the day , I just hope everyone has the courage to say you know what ? I actually don't care about birthdays , like other people do . I never have , genuinely , it doesn't . All I want to do is stay at home by myself with Emilia , actually with Emilia , and Emilia asks me every year what do you want to do ? I don't want to do anything , I just want to stay in with you and get food and watch a film or all three Hobbit movies extended version .

Alan Lazaros

Worst idea ever bugging out at midnight while she's asleep . But once you're almost through the last one , you got to power through , obviously , so I was probably late the next morning . But at the end of the day you don't think too much , you don't worry too much . You probably are contemplating who you are and how the world works , and it's . I think it's a wonderful thing I do . I . I don't think that you should try to be like what society is telling you to be . I think you should try to be like what society is telling you to be .

Kevin Palmieri

I think you should try to be the best version of yourself . This is what I would say . I would say there are some people that think too much and worry too much . I would argue that that is true if you don't take any action . I think there are some people that don't think enough action . I think there is because I can't . I think there are some people that don't think enough . I definitely think there are some people that think too much and worry too much .

Alan Lazaros

And they ruminate and anxiety and paralysis by analysis and all that stuff .

Kevin Palmieri

I can't get on board with , like nobody does Agreed , and I'm not trying to say that .

Alan Lazaros

What I am saying , though , is can't get on board with , like nobody does , because agreed , and I'm not trying to say that . What I am saying , though , is why , if someone's happy , healthy , productive in love , fulfilled and crushing it , and wealthy like it didn't fall out of the sky , and you probably should have enough humility to ask them questions rather than say , hey , kev have you uh considered that you think too much man it's like you should be asking what I'm thinking about well , the question would be right do you think you think the right amount ?

Kevin Palmieri

yeah that would be . The question is so , what do do you think you think the right amount ? Like , let's have a discussion about that . What ?

Alan Lazaros

What does that mean ? I think that's constructive , yeah , why .

Kevin Palmieri

Why do you feel like you ? I feel like that would be a really cool discussion . If I could go back and have a discussion with that person , that's what I would say why , what did you do ? Just stop talking to me . I didn't do anything , stop talking to me .

Kevin Palmieri

No , but to me I didn't do anything . Stop talking to me . What ? No , but did you like leave ? Or it was via message ? Yeah , most of my deep conversations intentionally never happened in person . There's a reason for that . I don't have to do the walk of shame . I could probably find the message . Hold on . I love this . I don't know . It might have been through snapchat . I do too , brother , I do too . Yeah , I think it was in .

Alan Lazaros

I know it sounds like we're on a podcast telling people how to live . I think we're illuminating principles and I think we're illuminating opportunities and we're trying to illuminate the drive to five of both sides of the equation and what's the best choice for you . I was on a podcast once with a woman named deborah and I talked about how she . She said what are your thoughts about starting a business ? And I said I used to be a little naive and I used to think starting a business was a good idea for most people . And now , having coached so many people , I realized that it's really detrimental for some people who are very certainty driven . And I said there's advice online that says you know , I started my business to have more free time . And I said I think that's a terrible idea .

Alan Lazaros

If you're starting a business to have more free time , I think you're in for a rude awakening . And she said well , what do you mean ? I said well , I , kevin and I I haven't really taken a full day off in 10 years . Sometimes it's one hour a day , sometimes it's , you know , 15 hours a day , but it's never been a full day off . And she said oh my God , alan , that's so bad for you and I , and I said no , deborah , that's bad for you . I'm very fulfilled , I'm happy , healthy and productive , and and if it was 15 hours a day , every day , it would be bad for me and I understand what you're trying to say you tell it was bad for kevin .

Alan Lazaros

Uh no , I didn't . But I do think it's important for people to be able to defend their point of view and maybe defend is the wrong word , but articulate and communicate effectively your point of view . And maybe defend is the wrong word , but articulate and communicate effectively your point of view . And then someone else brings their point of view and then we can have a constructive conversation about it . And I think that's what drive to five ultimately is . Did you find the message ?

Kevin Palmieri

I did not . I don't know if it was on Snapchat or whatever .

Kevin Palmieri

It might've been text mess , I don't know , but it was yeah it was just something along the lines of I think this person asked me a question and then I responded with like a deep thought and they're like why can't you , why do you have to think so much about everything ? Like why can't you just be and go with the flow ? And that was it . And then I think they like blocked me . Whatever . See at the top , that's my new thing anybody who's done me dirty in the past well that I guess that person didn't really do me dirty , but anybody who has it well .

Alan Lazaros

Do you think that question was a genuine question , or you think no . She was attacking , she was not being very nice .

Kevin Palmieri

She was frustrated with me . She was frustrated with me Again . I've always wanted different . You don't decide one day you want to be a professional fighter when you're in high school because you want to live a normal life . I wanted to get punched in the face for a living . What are we doing here ? You know I don't want to . Just yeah , I'm not making that life wrong . That's just not the right life for me .

Kevin Palmieri

I don't want to think she is making your version wrong yes , that's , but I'm not making hers wrong , so , whatever , that's okay . Maybe one day she'll , I don know . I hope she encounters someone and maybe they think deeper than she wants and she's able to work through Whatever . Whatever I happen to , luckily I'm married to a behavior analyst who thinks about thinking for a living at a very high level .

Kevin Palmieri

So that worked . I said that on the podcast . I said we've done 2,000 episodes almost on essentially overthinking . And he's like was it hard with dating ? And I said for a while , yeah , but when I knew it was time to settle down , I knew Taryn was the one . She thought deeper than I did when we first started dating . That's why I ran away . I couldn't handle it . It was perfect .

Kevin Palmieri

That's the perfect person to be with for me . So that was the goal of today's episode . That's the benefit of the worst advice I've ever gotten is it actually helped me lock in the identity of ? I feel like I want to be different . It's okay to be different , and if I just fit into the box to be with this person , I would end up very miserable .

Kevin Palmieri

This person I would end up very miserable and this person would end up very miserable too , because in two years , when I want to podcast about deep shit , you're not going to want to be a part of that .

Alan Lazaros

You dig yes , sir , and I do need to say real quick Please , please , please . I do believe that that person in particular I know of her , I don't know her personally I think she would benefit from concerning herself more and thinking more deeply , and that is my truth . I do think that would benefit her .

Kevin Palmieri

You don't know this person at all actually . Oh , I don't . No , no , Somebody .

Alan Lazaros

This was before Jeff oh yeah , this isn't the person I thought the also ? I thought no , no , the also F you no , no , okay , I was thinking about the wrong person , but she also said not to worry so much .

Kevin Palmieri

Too right , the other one I'm thinking about yeah , probably I've had weird oh God , I've had weird yeah , it's just been weird interactions . I dated someone and then it didn't work out and we stopped talking , obviously . And then one day she reached out and she's like yeah , one of my friends asked me what my dream body was and I knew that you and I had talked about it . So I went to look at our old conversation and you looked like a little bit chunky . I'm like whoa could have left that one out . You don't have to throw that in there . That doesn't have anything to do with anything . I was like like thank you .

Alan Lazaros

Oh , that's just a dad . Kev always says this . He's like that person's just hurt and they're just trying to hurt .

Kevin Palmieri

They were , yeah , they were , and again I was jacked I don't .

Alan Lazaros

What do we ? What do we do ?

Kevin Palmieri

what do you mean ? I was in really good shape at that point .

Alan Lazaros

That's what it is . She knows that you were jacked and that's why she has to call you out for being chunky . It's unfortunate it's .

Kevin Palmieri

It's too bad . You know , there was a little piece of I get a chuckle out of it . It was like okay fair play fair play .

Alan Lazaros

Was there a part of you ? That's like I'm chunky .

Kevin Palmieri

No , no , there was , it was . I know what you're doing . Yeah , yeah , yeah . I know you know I value that , okay , but it's dude . Just imagine if somebody reached out and said yeah , I was tuning into the podcast recently . It seems like you guys are . You and Alan are a little off lately . Huh , it's like what , wait , wait , what have you ever lately ? You've never listened to an episode . You didn't even know I had a podcast . Now you listen so you can critique you better get the fuck out of here .

Alan Lazaros

Somebody reached out and said you know , I really feel like you guys need to have more regular people on the show . You guys really need to do .

Kevin Palmieri

What I haven't talked to you in six years , and you're a dingo also .

Alan Lazaros

You're also a dingo . I love it when you tell this stuff , man , I appreciate it .

Kevin Palmieri

Well , we try to keep it real around here and again . Last last , last thing .

Alan Lazaros

Based on your wild podcast expertise . Yeah , I'm an expert .

Kevin Palmieri

I'm an expert at this . Not you , I meant this person , oh oh , oh , yeah , yeah , yeah , I'm an expert too at everything . Yeah , yeah , At everything .

Alan Lazaros

Based on my expertise , I think you should consider reconsidering your career as well .

Kevin Palmieri

I think this is a good subtle reminder to just recheck in with what matters to you , Because if you are not really really really attached to what you value , I think it's very easy for it to get taken away from you without you even knowing it . At least that's been my experience . So I'm not going to talk at you , but that's been my experience . Cool , Cool , All right .

Kevin Palmieri

Next Level Nation . Make sure you are subscribed so you never miss an opportunity to get to the next level , whether it's on the audio platforms YouTube videos on Spotify , all that happy jazz . We want to keep growing as humans , Alan and I , we want to keep growing the podcast and we want to keep helping . So if you can help us do that by sharing this with somebody that you know would find value in our strange conversations , we would appreciate that very much . Next , Salvation is a private Facebook group for like-minded people like you Book clubs every Saturday at 1230 Eastern Standard Time All that happy jazz . There's a lot of stuff going on at NLU . We would . All that happy jazz there's a lot of stuff going on at NLU .

Kevin Palmieri

We would love to have you take part in anything that feels right , as always , we love you , we appreciate you , grateful for each and every one of you at NLU . We don't have fans , we have family . We will talk to you all tomorrow stay next level , next level nation .

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Alan Lazaros

Host
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Kevin Palmieri

Host