What Did The TikTok Ban Make You Feel? (1954)

In this episode, Kevin and Alan break down the power of dopamine—the brain’s reward system—and how it shapes your habits, productivity, and success. They share relatable stories and practical tips to help you shift from unproductive dopamine habits, like endless scrolling, to constructive ones that fuel your growth. Learn how to design a focused environment, build discipline, and align your actions with your dreams.

_____________________

NLU is not just a podcast; it’s a gateway to a wealth of resources designed to help you achieve your goals and dreams. From our Next Level Dreamliner to our Group Coaching, we offer a variety of tools and communities to support your personal development journey.

For more information, please check out our website at the link below. 👇

Website 💻  http://www.nextleveluniverse.com

_______________________

Any of these communities or resources are FREE to join and consume
Next Level Nation - https://www.facebook.com/groups/459320958216700
Next Level 5 To Thrive (free course) - ​​https://bit.ly/3xffver
Next Level U Book Club - https://bit.ly/3BQBYDr
Next Level Monthly Meet-up:  https://www.nextleveluniverse.com/monthly-meetups/

_______________________

We love connecting with you guys! Reach out on Instagram, Facebook, or via email. We’re here to support you in your personal and professional development journey.

Instagram 📷
Kevin: https://www.instagram.com/neverquitkid/
Alan: https://www.instagram.com/alazaros88/

Facebook ✍
Alan: https://www.facebook.com/alan.lazaros
Kevin: https://www.facebook.com/kevin.palmieri.90/

Email 💬
Kevin@nextleveluniverse.com
Alan@nextleveluniverse.com

LinkedIn ✍
Kevin: https://www.linkedin.com/in/kevin-palmieri-5b7736160/
Alan: https://www.linkedin.com/in/alanlazarosllc/

_______________________

Show notes:
(2:21) The risks of relying on one platform
(6:30) Understanding dopamine addiction
(9:15) Constructive Vs. Destructive dopamine sources
(12:18) Meet like-minded people and jumpstart your journey to achieving your dreams while optimizing your life. Join Next Level Group Coaching.
(15:40) Designing an environment for success
(18:55) The elephant and rider analogy
(22:50) How branding influences habits
(24:17) Outro

🎙️ Hosted by Kevin Palmieri and Alan Lazaros

Next Level University is a top-ranked daily podcast for dream chasers and self-improvement lovers. With over 2,100 episodes, we help you level up in life, love, health, and wealth one day at a time. Subscribe for real, honest, no-fluff growth every single day.

Transcript

Kevin Palmieri 0:00

It's like the. It's a flash in the pan and then it just then you regret it, then you feel empty. After then you're gonna go get the next hit and you're gonna go get the next hit Versus now I, my dopamine is connected to growth and getting closer to goals and, if anything, when I get that dopamine, it inspires me to get the next thing and the next thing and the next thing. So I think it's just a more sustainable, constructive way to do it and I had so much negative association with that life.

Alan Lazaros 0:26

If you take peanuts and put them off the path. The path is your goals and dreams. The path are your goals and metrics and priorities and habits. The path is the things that will bring you closer to your dreams and goals. If you put peanuts all strewed off the path, the elephant is just eventually gonna strewn. Yeah, all streed off the path. The elephant is just eventually going to Strewed. Yeah, all strewed off the path. The elephant is going to just overpower the rider.

Kevin Palmieri 0:50

Welcome to Next Level University. I'm your host, Kevin Palmieri.

Alan Lazaros 0:55

And I'm your co-host, Alan Lazarus.

Kevin Palmieri 0:58

At NLU, we believe in a heart-driven but no BS approach to holistic self-improvement for dream chasers.

Alan Lazaros 1:04

Our goal with every episode is to help you level up your life, love, health and wealth.

Kevin Palmieri 1:11

We bring you a new episode every single day on topics like confidence, self-belief, self-worth, self-awareness, relationships, boundaries, consistency, habits and defining your own unique version of success.

Alan Lazaros 1:27

Self-improvement in your pocket, every day, from anywhere, completely free.

Kevin Palmieri 1:33

Welcome to Next Level University, next Level Nation. Welcome back to another episode of Next Level University, where we help you level up your life, your love, your health and your wealth. Today, for episode number 1,954, we're going to hit you with a quick one, probably a quick 20 today, a little up against it time-wise because Alan and I met and had an hour to record an episode and then we spent 35 minutes bullshitting Today we are talking about Excuse me.

Alan Lazaros 2:03

Yes, that was a very powerful intellectual conversation of learning and growth. And a little bit of bullshit, definitely it's always there's got to be a little bit.

Kevin Palmieri 2:11

20 20 it's fine.

The risks of relying on one platform

Kevin Palmieri 2:13

20, okay, uh, will fredo pareto, as we've, as we spoke about in the previous episode, shout out to will fredo's mom for naming him. That. What did the tiktok ban make you feel? So obviously in the us at least, I don't know so obviously in the US at least. I don't know where it was in the rest of the world, and I don't know why, because I am not intelligent enough and I have not researched it to eloquently speak on why it was getting banned at all that happy jazz. But I do know that there were many, many people up in arms, there were many people freaking out, there were many people mourning the loss of TikTok all of that happy jazz. What did that make you feel? And have you dug into why it made you feel that way? This was my perspective.

Kevin Palmieri 2:54

So two thoughts. One, anytime something like that happens and again, I'm empathetic towards the fact that there's a lot of people that run their businesses with the majority of content and money coming from TikTok and this is the risk of being an entrepreneur that you, depending on what you're doing, you are at the, you're just not in control of a lot of stuff and if terms and conditions change or apps change or whatever it is, you can be in a lot of trouble. I know somebody who's a YouTuber who went from making, I think, $90,000 a month in ad revenue to $20,000 a month because YouTube changed one thing and there's nothing they can do about it. That is now the way it is. Yeah, because the only thing they can do about it Just that is now the way it is.

Alan Lazaros 3:46

Yeah, because the only thing they can do about it is stop using YouTube Right, which YouTube's not going to bark at, because they have a billion plus users. You want to stop.

Kevin Palmieri 3:58

Go ahead. What are you going to go on Vimeo? Best of luck, friend. Good luck.

Alan Lazaros 4:02

What's Vimeo doing? What's the adage if you put all your eggs in one basket, you've got to be ready to eat the chicken. I don't know something like that, which is seems paradoxical, since I'm often telling people to kind of go all in on one thing, but I'll explain why that's actually makes sense yeah, it's.

Kevin Palmieri 4:21

I think it's going all in on one thing I think is good. But having multiple touch points along the way, like going all in on TikTok in terms of putting your time and making content and all that stuff, awesome Just have a little bit of a I don't want to say a backup plan, but like even we put most of our eggs into the podcast basket. Well, that's a little bit different. The podcast is not an app. There are many players, there are many apps within the podcast landscape. So it's a little bit different, but that was one of my, just for reference.

Alan Lazaros 4:55

can you go through them? So going all in on the podcast means that we have all these vehicles Go ahead.

Kevin Palmieri 5:02

In terms of the podcast.

Alan Lazaros 5:04

Yeah, where are?

Kevin Palmieri 5:05

they? Where's the podcast? Apple, spotify, listen, notes, pandora. There's 30 of them. Okay, there's a ton. There's a ton.

Alan Lazaros 5:16

So if we lose one of them, the whole business isn't gone. Whereas if you go all in on just TikTok. If you lose just TikTok, the whole business is gone. And I think going all in on the podcast Next Level University and then having a lot of things that disperse, that is very different than going all in on just Instagram, because then, if Instagram changes, you're potentially in trouble.

Kevin Palmieri 5:38

Well, if you're going to go all in on social media, you're going to have to learn a bunch about all the platforms and you're going to have to become a better speaker and you're going to have to learn a bunch about all the platforms and you're going to have to become a better speaker and you're going to have to become a better content creator. So it's not just the TikTok, there's so many other things that go into it. But, yes, a thousand percent. So that was one thought is this is the danger of being an entrepreneur, and there were a lot of people that said, well, imagine all the people that are potentially going to be out of work.

Understanding dopamine addiction

Kevin Palmieri 6:00

Again, I have empathy for that, but you did things in a way before TikTok was here. Don't limit yourself into thinking you can't rebuild after, because that's just going to put you in a mentality of a victim and that's not really going to be good. So that was one thought. The other thought I had was what was the other thought I had? Well, I'll start with that, because I know you have your Alan and I kind of have different directions for this episode and since it's shorter, I want to make sure I don't take up the majority of the time.

Alan Lazaros 6:32

Well, everything that happens externally to all of us and I know this isn't all of us, because this was banned in the US, for sure, and probably other places too but it tells you something about yourself the way you react to the same. Like there can be two people with the same circumstance and the way you react to that circumstance can be completely different, which means there's something to learn about yourself. And the part of this episode that I wanted to talk about today was if, if not having tiktok. So I wanted to talk about dopamine addiction. Two things. One thing I want to go back to the one going all in on one thing, to Kevin's point earlier about the podcasting example. If you go all in on, let's say, your whole business is built on social media. That's very different than your whole business is built on Instagram. So going all in on social media means you have a bunch of platforms. Social media is something that will be around forever. The individual platforms might not be Okay. Now, fast forward.

Alan Lazaros 7:27

I looked up dopamine addiction. I was on with a client earlier keep it anonymous, of course, but he read a habit. He read a book called the Power of Habit by Charles Duhigg, like eight years ago. Very powerful book, love it. The simple idea here is the habit loop Trigger behavior reward. Trigger behavior reward. Trigger behavior reward. So trigger is your phone vibrates. The behavior is you check your text messages. The reward is you get a dopamine hit when you get to figure out what the text message is and our brains are wired for dopamine. So trigger warning here. But the drug cocaine is known to really amp up your dopamine production and that's why there's a huge crash. It's amphetamines. So essentially dopamine addiction is. Dopamine is as addictive. There's a book called the molecule of more that goes into this. But ultimately dopamine addiction. I I chat gpt, as kev says.

Kevin Palmieri 8:20

I'm a big fan alan has become obsessed with chat gpt. It is what it is, in a good way, in a good way it.

Alan Lazaros 8:25

I'm learning so much. It's like the best. It's like an encyclopedia that chooses the exact passage from all the different books. That puts it all in one. It's awesome, okay.

Alan Lazaros 8:35

Dopamine addiction, often referred to as dopamine dependency or dopamine driven behavior, isn't a clinical diagnosis, but rather a concept describing how individuals can become dependent on activities that provide frequent dopamine spikes. Dopamine is a neurotransmitter associated with pleasure, motivation and reward, and modern lifestyles, especially with technology and instant gratification, can lead to an over-reliance on dopamine-driven behaviors. So some common dopamine addictions are technology and social media, gaming, video games. That's why I have to steer clear, because I do get addicted. I was in the past, for sure. Halo, halo 2, starcraft 2 shout out all right.

Constructive Vs. Destructive dopamine sources

Alan Lazaros 9:12

Food, highly processed, sugary or fatty foods, salt, sugar, fat, compulsive eating patterns, shopping, impulse buying, amazon gambling. The anticipation of winning triggers significant dopamine releases. I used to play blackjack. Pornography, overuse can lead to dependency and desensitization to real life experiences. Work slash, productivity, the pursuit of achievement and checking off tasks can become addictive. I've definitely become addicted to productivity.

Alan Lazaros 9:36

Now, the idea here is not dopamine is not a problem, it's how you're getting your dopamine so real quick. If you were to watch your favorite Netflix show, you get dopamine hits when the characters go through things In real life. If you are achieving in your business or in your life, or in fitness or going to the gym, you get dopamine as a reward for a great 20 minutes on the Stairmaster, or dopamine as a reward after making love with your partner. See, those are constructive things that actually build toward a meaningful life. See, those are constructive things that actually build toward a meaningful life, whereas pornography or video games you leave the virtual world and you're still the same. You didn't actually grow, you didn't learn, you didn't develop any skills.

Alan Lazaros 10:18

So dopamine is, from a neurobiological perspective, trigger, behavior reward. It's supposed to be an achievement drug that our brain gives itself to say, hey, great job. But unfortunately in the 21st century we're getting it from TikTok or all these other things that aren't actually helping us grow and achieve and become more. So Kevin is 35, I'm 36, we're next level. You pun intended. I'm Alan version 3.6, kevin version 3.5. If Kevin version 2.5, if he didn't achieve anything and got his dopamine only from Netflix or other things, he wouldn't be this amazing Kevin version 3.5. You'd just be the same exact person just doing this sort of mental masturbation, so to speak.

Kevin Palmieri 11:02

I did a lot of mental and physical masturbation to porn when I was addicted addicted to it for sure.

Alan Lazaros 11:09

Unfortunately, the other from that frame, not to not not to interrupt you, but no, you're good, you were a dopamine addiction, you had a dopamine addiction, that's that's what. That was okay. And then there's something called dopamine deprivation where, if you go a week, some people go extreme with this and I'm not saying to do this, but some people go in a dark room for literally a week to eliminate, because any drug that you take, you get resistance to it. Caffeine, for example, I 100 milligrams doesn't do it anymore. So I got to do 150 okay, 150 doesn't do it anymore. Now I need 200, okay, 250, okay, 300, 350. And then eventually I do a deload and I'll start going back down to try to get my tolerance down, because you, your body, develops a tolerance for things. So for you, kev, you had a dopamine addiction and you have transformed yourself in a way where most of your dopamine not comes from constructive pursuits.

Meet like-minded people and jumpstart your journey to achieving your dreams while optimizing your life. Join Next Level Group Coaching.

Kevin Palmieri 12:09

How did you do that? I set massive goals that I could never accomplish. That was pretty much it. Next level nation. What is happening?

Kevin Palmieri 12:21

If you've thought to yourself I want to try coaching, but you don't really know where to start, group coaching would be a wonderful place for you. That's really why we created it in the first place. We start a new round every 90 days. So if you're hearing this, go to the website nextleveluniversecom, and we have the landing page where you can actually hold your spot right now. Even if there's a group going on right now, you can still lock your spot for the next one. The biggest thing that we've seen is, as we get closer and closer to the date, unfortunately, some people end up missing. The group fills up and they can't do it, and then they end up regretting that. So please head over to the website. The link will be in the show notes and we would love to see you there.

Kevin Palmieri 13:02

Well, yeah, I don't feel good when I just watch stuff all day. Again, Saturday's different UFC, but like this is a good example. I watched UFC Saturday, but I worked until I don't know 5. Ufc came on at 6. I actually wrote a song, so I worked from 6 am until 6 pm and then I watched UFC and it felt really good and I didn't even watch all of it. I watched it until 10 or 11 and then I fell a great. It was a great day.

Kevin Palmieri 13:37

So I think it's it's understanding that the the example I always use is, I think, the stuff that gives you quick hits of dopamine, like again, I like netflix. I'm not talking bad about netflix, but netflix, porn, drugs, whatever it is. It's a very hot fire but it doesn't burn for very long and I think that's the best way to explain it is. It's empty. It's a flash in the pan and then you regret it. Then you feel empty after. Then you've got to go get the next hit, then you've got to go get the next hit Versus. Now, my dopamine is connected to growth and getting closer to goals and, if anything, when I get that dopamine, it inspires me to get the next thing and the next thing and the next thing. So I think it's just a more sustainable, constructive way to do it and I had so much negative association with that life so it wasn't that hard to. I mean, the porn thing is. I mean that's really challenging, especially with whatever social media stuff, like a lot of people not wearing a lot of clothes on social media. That's a challenge, but the other stuff wasn't.

Kevin Palmieri 14:46

I still watch Netflix. I just don't watch it for eight hours Like I used to. I watch it for an hour, maybe two at the end of a, at the end of a day, it's. I think it's just drastically different. So I think it's just the percentage of okay. When I used to do my job, I would grind my face off for, let's say, it was 70% of the time and then for 30% of the time I was just shut off dopamine seeking, completely unconscious behavior. Now I think it's different. What did we say? 85, 15. But even now, like my dopamine seeking is way more 85, 15. But even now, like my dopamine seeking is way more conscious.

Designing an environment for success

Kevin Palmieri 15:26

Like, I watch certain shows for certain reasons and one of my favorite shows is Billions. Billions is a show all about business, so I'm learning. I learned a lot from watching Billions. I had so many lessons from that. Back when I was watching I told Taryn I'm ready to watch it again. Like I really want to watch that again Because there's a lot of lessons in that Suits great show, also business and right. So Parks and Rec. It doesn't compare to Parks and Rec, obviously, but yeah, did I answer the question For sure. For sure I lost it about halfway, for sure I lost them about halfway.

Alan Lazaros 15:57

It was a couple episodes ago. You said we were talking about back in 2007 when I was super into the Pats and the only two times in my life when I've ever gotten into sports was the Celtics, with the big three Ray Allen and Paul Pierce and Kevin Garnett and then the Patriots in 2007. And I basically said I try really hard not to connect myself to things that are completely outside my control. And another caveat to that and you said your life sounds so boring. One of the reasons why you said your life sounds so boring is, one, you're being playful and two, it sounds so boring. But there's a reason it's so boring and it's by design. It's boring because I want dopamine spikes. It's almost like the more boring I can make my life, the more fulfilling it will become. Bear with me. Bear with me If Emilia and I go on a date day and I have get in the car and we I have a whole thing planned.

Alan Lazaros 17:01

We get eggs, sammy's awesome bookstore, cool adventure, some waterfall, awesome hike Tucker, it's like the it's we're over the moon. It's unbelievable. It's as if we went on a three week vacation, because when you design your life to be boring, even the littlest fun is super fucking fun. Life to be boring. Even the littlest fun is super fucking fun. Aka, you get more dopamine. So the reason why dopamine deprivation is so good for people and why people go and lock themselves in a dark room for a week which I do not recommend seriously, that's stupid. You can actually just do this incrementally. My office is boring on purpose. The reason why is because I want I don't want to have to use willpower and I don't want dopamine to be available. So for me, I haven't watched any pornography in over four years and I got an instagram dm. You know those groups that dm you and it's like links and shit.

Alan Lazaros 17:56

Yeah, just yeah and normally it just shows the link. It doesn't show the thumbnail. I got one yesterday or two days ago that showed the thumbnail and it was just a guy and a girl and doing their thing. It was a good looking photo, making love.

The elephant and rider analogy

Alan Lazaros 18:12

Yeah, yeah, if that's what you want to call it and I had a moment of no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, done, delete, block, gone, and I'm cleaning up everything. I mean, I'm literally just blocking. I block people regularly. Now the reason why is because I don't want triggers in my environment that are not good for my life. And so there's this concept. I've talked about it it before with the rider and the elephant. There's three things. There's the rider, which is the rational brain. The rational brain wants to build a business and it wants to be fit and it wants to have a loving, monogamous relationship. Potentially, it wants all these things. It has goals and dreams. It's future oriented. It says I want to be more fit, I want a better body, better business, better life, health, wealth, life and love. That's the rational brain. That's the part that we're engaging right now with everybody. Kevin's probably more emotion. I'm more rational, so you tolerate me and love him, or maybe you?

Alan Lazaros 19:09

tolerate him and love me if you're in a very small percentage of the population, but ultimately I'm talking to your rational brain. Right now the elephant is the emotional brain. The elephant is way more powerful than the rider. The elephant is the one that would click on the link. Luckily, my rider was powerful enough to say do not fucking click on that link, do not. You are not going to break a four-year streak because some random person on the internet decided to send you something. They got you.

Kevin Palmieri 19:37

They didn't get you, they almost got you, they almost got me.

Alan Lazaros 19:39

That's why they do it, by the way. But the point is is that if you take peanuts and put them off the path, the path is your goals and dreams. The path are your goals and metrics and priorities and habits. The path is the things that will bring you closer to your dreams and goals. If you put peanuts all strewed off the path, the elephant is just eventually going to Strew, strew yeah, all strewed off the path. The elephant is going to just overpower the rider and Kev. Back when I first met you, your elephant would totally take over, for sure. And now the rider actually gets to design the path, which is your PPT, which I showed. I got a new client named Mark. You brought him to me and I showed him your PPT and I said listen, before I show you this, I want to show you where Kevin started. Kevin started with five habits and didn't even want to do that. Let me show you him now, and I don't think you were in there at the time. I was like he's probably in there now.

Alan Lazaros 20:33

I gotta stop saying that you weren't in there, uh, but I showed it and it was 12 metrics and I don't know 18 habits or whatever, and it's just, it's wild. You mean you track a lot of things. That's the path, and If anyone out there wants to achieve their goals and dreams, you're going to have to trust the rider To design the path, otherwise the elephant will overpower you. We've all been there where we did something we didn't want to do, whether it was pornography or Netflix, or drinking or drugs or whatever it is. There's no human on planet Earth that doesn't deal with this.

Alan Lazaros 21:05

The question is are you designing an environment that is like, if you're, if you have a McDonald's right next door, I mean you're going to get a Big Mac. Most likely, if you're anything like me, you're going to Mine's, not even next door, and I'll still have one of those every now and then. So the point is just design your environment for success, and that's what I did with my client earlier. So shout out to you and he said let's just design the environment. Because he lives with his family, they have a triple-decker and it's a really nice place, but he needs to design his own space to make sure that, because he has a little nephew and the little nephew video games and all that stuff. You know, cookies, snacks, whatever. So I remember one time your wife Taryn gave me all the snacks because she just wanted to get them out of the house, which I'm a huge fan of.

Alan Lazaros 21:46

If she wants to do it again.

Kevin Palmieri 21:48

We don't have as many snacks now, which is good. This is the hard thing Again. Not really, but proverbially proverbially is that the word. There is a McDonald's on every corner right next to your house now, because you can gamble on your phone depending on where you live. I think about it all the time Every time I see a Giraffe Kings commercial. It's like if you have a gambling addiction, that's a trigger right there. Boom, trigger, trigger, trigger, trigger.

Alan Lazaros 22:12

Even the logo itself becomes a trigger. Right there, Boom, trigger, trigger, trigger trigger.

How branding influences habits

Kevin Palmieri 22:14

Even the logo itself becomes a trigger. Yeah, so now is the time to be more disciplined. When there's more opportunity, discipline is required at a higher level, and my thought on this was if you are somebody who was freaking out over it going away because it was going to hurt your business or your brand or your dream chasing, maybe it's time to diversify a little bit. Alan's was were you freaking out because you're addicted to TikTok and that's where you get the majority of your dopamine and if that's gone, you feel like you're not whole and you feel empty. That's a deeper conversation. That was Alan's point. Why are you smiling?

Alan Lazaros 22:55

I know I got to jump in a sec, but I want to share this because I think it'll be really I think you'll enjoy this a lot. So did you know I just chat GPT'd this what colors trigger hunger?

Kevin Palmieri 23:03

Red, yellow and orange.

Alan Lazaros 23:05

Red, yellow and orange. Remember Robert McDonald, ronald McDonald, ronald Dude, you know, I don't know.

Kevin Palmieri 23:13

Yes, red white.

Alan Lazaros 23:15

Yellow and orange?

Kevin Palmieri 23:17

No, he didn't have orange, did he?

Alan Lazaros 23:18

I don't know. Pull up a picture of.

Kevin Palmieri 23:20

Ronald McDonald, he had red. I know he had red. My man Robert Red, white and yellow.

Alan Lazaros 23:24

But that's the yellow logo. Logo, I can't talk.

Kevin Palmieri 23:29

Kev, you're really going like this, did you?

Alan Lazaros 23:31

know, did you know that? My man, robert mcdonald? But the point is is, everything is by design. So these companies are designing their, their environment. They're branding their logo to get you tiktok included, to get you addicted. And you got to be careful, you, you just do, because I don't blame them necessarily you got to grow your business right. Obviously we need a, an nlu logo that best represents us. I don't think we ever looked up the colors.

Kevin Palmieri 23:57

Maybe I don't think we would have told me what a philosophy teal, but I do like the color.

Alan Lazaros 24:02

Yeah, Same Uh, but at the end of the day you gotta be conscious of this discipline.

Outro

Kevin Palmieri 24:07

I know a lot of people talk about discipline and how it doesn't work. If you are not disciplined now, it's going to get harder to get disciplined because it's way easier. There are so many distractions now, now more than ever. All right, as always, we love you, we appreciate you, grateful for each and every one of you At NLU. We don't have fans, we have family. We'll talk to you all tomorrow.

Alan Lazaros 24:24

Stay Next Level.

Kevin Palmieri 24:31

Next Level Nation. Thanks for joining us for another episode of Next Level University. We love connecting with the Next.

Alan Lazaros 24:35

Level family. We mean it when we say family. If you ever need anything, please reach out to us directly. Everything you need to get a hold of us is in the show notes.

Kevin Palmieri 24:44

Thank you again and we will talk to you tomorrow. You.