Next Level University

A Deep Dive Into Limiting Beliefs (1962)

• Kevin Palmieri and Alan Lazaros

Share episode

Use Left/Right to seek, Home/End to jump to start or end. Hold shift to jump forward or backward.

0:00 | 43:46

What if the biggest thing holding you back isn’t your skills or opportunities—but what you believe about yourself? In this episode,  hosts Kevin Palmieri and Alan Lazaros tackle dysfunctional beliefs—the hidden thoughts that keep you stuck, playing small, or doubting your own potential. These beliefs feel true, but they actually work against you.

Links mentioned:
Next Level Dreamliner: https://a.co/d/9fPpxEt
Next Level Nation - https://www.facebook.com/groups/459320958216700
Subscribe & follow -  https://www.buzzsprout.com/742955/share

_____________________

NLU is not just a podcast; it’s a gateway to a wealth of resources designed to help you achieve your goals and dreams. From our Next Level Dreamliner to our Group Coaching, we offer a variety of tools and communities to support your personal development journey.

For more information, please check out our website at the link below. 👇

Website 💻  http://www.nextleveluniverse.com

_______________________

Any of these communities or resources are FREE to join and consume
Next Level Nation - https://www.facebook.com/groups/459320958216700
Next Level 5 To Thrive (free course) - ​​https://bit.ly/3xffver
Next Level U Book Club - https://bit.ly/3BQBYDr
Next Level Monthly Meet-up:  https://www.nextleveluniverse.com/monthly-meetups/

_______________________

We love connecting with you guys! Reach out on Instagram, Facebook, or via email. We’re here to support you in your personal and professional development journey.

Instagram 📷
Kevin: https://www.instagram.com/neverquitkid/
Alan: https://www.instagram.com/alazaros88/

Facebook ✍
Alan: https://www.facebook.com/alan.lazaros
Kevin: https://www.facebook.com/kevin.palmieri.90/

Email 💬
Kevin@nextleveluniverse.com
Alan@nextleveluniverse.com

LinkedIn ✍
Kevin: https://www.linkedin.com/in/kevin-palmieri-5b7736160/
Alan: https://www.linkedin.com/in/alanlazarosllc/

_______________________

Show notes:
(2:07) Why Alan couldn’t sleep and what he discovered
(3:18) The biggest reason people feel unfulfilled
(5:42) How dysfunctional beliefs hold you back
(8:57) The difference between limiting and dysfunctional beliefs
(14:09) Examples of common dysfunctional beliefs
(17:00) Reframing beliefs that are keeping you stuck
(23:28) Next Level Dreamliner: the planner, agenda, journal, and habit tracker to rule them all. Get a copy: https://a.co/d/9fPpxEt
(25:02) How to challenge your own beliefs and grow
(34:35) Your wor

Send a text to Kevin and Alan!

🎙️ Hosted by Kevin Palmieri and Alan Lazaros

Next Level University is a top-ranked daily podcast for dream chasers and self-improvement lovers. With over 2,100 episodes, we help you level up in life, love, health, and wealth one day at a time. Subscribe for real, honest, no-fluff growth every single day.

Alan Lazaros

I thought I was a strong communicator. Then I realized I wasn't at all, unless you're an engineer. Then I realized I suck. And then I worked on it and now I think I'm pretty good. But I don't want that to go to my head, so I keep working on it. But I would say I was statistically on the higher end. I never felt like it was super difficult for me to get my ideas across, except for mathematical ideas.

Kevin Palmieri

You'll never feel good about yourself, even if everybody around you values you at the highest level. When you go home and you're by yourself, you're not going to feel good. So your worth is directly dependent upon you, and the way you treat yourself and the way you hold yourself will most likely dictate the way other people treat you and hold you. Welcome to Next Level University. I'm your host, kevin Palmieri.

Alan Lazaros

And I'm your co-host, Alan Lazarus.

Kevin Palmieri

At NLU, we believe in a heart-driven but no BS approach to holistic self-improvement for dream chasers.

Alan Lazaros

Our goal with every episode is to help you level up your life, love, health and wealth.

Kevin Palmieri

We bring you a new episode every single day on topics like confidence, self-belief, self-worth, self-awareness, relationships, boundaries, consistency, habits and defining your own unique version of success.

Alan Lazaros

Self-improvement in your pocket, every day, from anywhere, completely free. Welcome to Next.

Kevin Palmieri

Level University completely free. Welcome to Next Level University, next Level Nation. Welcome back to another episode of Next Level University, where we help you level up your life, your love, your health and your wealth. Today for episode number 1,962, a deep dive into limiting beliefs. So Alan messaged me today. He doesn't like the fact that I even said limiting beliefs because he's going to go off on something else. But Alan messaged me today. He doesn't like the fact that I even said limiting beliefs because he's going to go off on something else. But Alan messaged me today. He said hey, man, I have a really good idea for an episode. And then he proceeded to send me this novel of explanation and I read through it and I was like cool, I'm all good, that seems like it would be a valuable episode. I would love to talk about that. So I'm going to let you set the frame here in today's episode, because this was your idea.

Alan Lazaros

So when I can't sleep, I'm always trying to think of different things I can learn and or do to be productive, because when you can't sleep, you got to do something of value. Excuse me, I was reading a book. This is at like 3 am or 4 am or something, I don't know. When did I text you?

Kevin Palmieri

He texted me at 3.43, I think.

Alan Lazaros

Okay. Designing your Life is the name of the book how to Build a Well-Lived, joyful Life, and this I saw a TED Talk a while back by one of these guys, one of these authors it's Bill Burnett and dave evans. They had a course at stanford that was about how to engineer, not how to engineer. How to design a fulfilling life, not a fulfilling life a joyful, well-lived life.

Kevin Palmieri

So far, question it, yeah.

The biggest reason people feel unfulfilled

Alan Lazaros

Of course, thank you, and I really liked that idea. I thought to myself I wish there was a course in school that was about how to engineer a fulfilling life. That's what I gave my training on last week. I'm so excited I'm actually going to offer the kids something. I'm so pumped so I've been thinking a lot about this.

How dysfunctional beliefs hold you back

Alan Lazaros

Okay, in the book they talk about the number one, most important thing to why, statistically, statistically speaking, most people do not enjoy the job that they have and or whatever it is. A lot of times people achieve everything they thought they wanted like you and I did to some extent and then realize oh no, this is that, ain't it, this ain't it, this ain't it, this ain't it, this ain't it. And the number one reason why that happens is what they referred to as a dysfunctional belief. You call it a limiting belief. I love the idea of a dysfunctional belief and the reason why and I told Kevin this before we hit record, probably more articulately than I'm doing right now is a dysfunctional belief, I think, presupposes that it's of less utility. Let me explain. Most beliefs are to protect us from pain. So if I have a belief that I'm good looking when I'm not, that makes me feel better, but it isn't actually conducive to external success. Let me explain why. If I think I'm good looking when I'm not and I go out and try to talk to all these unbelievably attractive women and I act like I'm really good looking and they might be turned off, it's like who's this cocky thinking he's the man guy? My point is is that most beliefs, unfortunately and I've found this in my coaching as well, myself included. I'm including me in this Kev as well A lot of our beliefs are to make us feel better, not to actually help us get better, and I think a dysfunctional belief is anything about you, others or the world that gives you comfort and helps you feel better in the moment, but it's actually at the expense of your goals and dreams. And I've often used many times before, the self-driving Tesla metaphor. We have its supervisor mode and if the Tesla is has the inaccurate data about the terrain or the destination or the current location it will potentially drive, let's say it thinks there's a road, it's actually a cliff. It'll keep driving off a cliff and then blaming the world, so to speak, and I think that a lot of us grow up with dysfunctional beliefs that are not allowing us to achieve our goals and dreams.

Alan Lazaros

I was on with a client recently. We were talking about dysfunctional beliefs. She's a CBT therapist cognitive behavioral therapist. They talk about limiting beliefs, dysfunctional beliefs, thoughts, behaviors, feelings, that triad, okay, I said honestly, it's very clear to me now, and she wouldn't mind me sharing this it's Bianca that you had a dysfunctional belief. I didn't call it a dysfunctional belief back then, but you were wired in such a way that virtually guaranteed that you don't attract what you actually want. That's what my coaching is is I'm trying, once you have your goals, priorities, metrics, habits and skills in alignment, it really comes down to identifying where you're off about yourself, others in the world, because that's the identity work. We talked about this on the last episode. If you could see you the way I see you, aka accurately, your whole life would change and that's what this ultimately is. So let me define it real quick and then I'll let kevin talk, I promise what a hell of a monologue we're on here thanks, man I hope that's a compliment.

Alan Lazaros

All right, I wrote this on threads today. Love threads. It's absolutely critical to consistently weed those out of your consciousness, these out of your consciousness, and then I defined it. By the way, if you're on threads, please follow myself or kevin I've been jeff and I haven't.

Kevin Palmieri

I haven't posted in a minute on threads I'll get back on it but I haven't posted.

Alan Lazaros

At never quit kid, aka sometimes quits kid, kidding At never quit kid, spelled just like it sounds at a Lazarus 88 a L a Z a R O S, eight, eight. Please reach out, dm us, tag us, whatever. Okay, it's absolutely critical to consistently weed these out of your consciousness.

Alan Lazaros

A dysfunctional belief is a thought or assumption that limits your potential or keeps you stuck in unhelpful patterns. These beliefs are often based on outdated, inaccurate or overly rigid ideas about yourself, others or the world. They can prevent you from exploring new opportunities, solving problems creatively or achieving meaningful goals. Anything that is in the way of you achieving what you want in life, whether it be health, wealth or love, any goal milestone you name, it is most likely a dysfunctional belief. So let's give an example to wrap all this up Life is supposed to be easy, I believe, is a dysfunctional belief Because every time life isn't easy, you think something's wrong with you or the world, when in reality, I think the more accurate truth is life is often challenging and despite that, you can create a meaningful, fulfilling life if you have humility and self-belief.

Kevin Palmieri

Interesting, interesting. So you went in a different direction than I expected, because I think limiting beliefs and dysfunctional beliefs aren't the same. If you are defining it as a dysfunctional belief is one that is made to keep you safe at the expense maybe keep you safe at the ego level, at the expense of your goals and dreams, where I think a limiting belief is different.

Alan Lazaros

Why? Because I think they're the same thing. So what Kev's referring to there is some beliefs are to protect you from pain. Pain. All limiting beliefs and dysfunctional beliefs, I think, are a way to keep you safe in the moment, but actually do hold you back from achieving what you want. Because in order for what's a good, tangible example of this, okay, let's back in the day. Kev was afraid of failure. He's been open about that. If he convinces himself, oh, I don't really want to travel anyway, I don't need to. If he convinces himself, oh, I don't really want to travel anyway, I don't need to. You know, I'm afraid of planes, so I don't really want to go overseas anyway. That protects him from the discomfort of potentially dying in the ocean when the plane crashes in the ocean. Two biggest fears planes and sharks, one and two. And he didn't want to go to London because of that and again go ahead, yeah, good good.

Kevin Palmieri

Limiting belief is I could never travel on a plane. Dysfunctional belief is I don't care about traveling anyway. I don't think the same fair they both limit you though yes, but I think one is the one is the story and one is the emotion.

Alan Lazaros

Just based on this definition. No one of them was the identity and one of them is the oh. Okay, so dysfunctional beliefs are inaccurate principles, I think inaccurate stories.

Kevin Palmieri

The way you describe it. You sent me a giant, giant fucking thing and it doesn't really say that. It says a dysfunctional belief is a deeply held, often subconscious, thought or assumption that limits your ability to grow, achieve goals or a life or live a fulfilling life. These beliefs are typically inaccurate, unhelpful or outdated and can prevent you from making progress or seeing possibilities. To me, this definition is pretty much limiting beliefs, but the way I think that's interesting, that for me a limiting belief might be, I can't work my way back from a failure. A dysfunctional belief would be the story around that versus like. That's kind of how I'm thinking of it well, this is just labels.

Alan Lazaros

Dysfunctional belief and limiting belief, I think are was there any difference in the book?

Kevin Palmieri

did they talk about limiting beliefs or did they just go right into?

Alan Lazaros

they just went with dysfunctional. But I like the label because I think it. It implies you can't get to where you want to go. I really like the idea of the journey. Like people say, life's about the journey, not the destination.

Alan Lazaros

Unfortunately, that's a limiting belief, because the destination you choose in advance dictates the journey. If you're going to London, that's very different than if you're in a car 30 minutes south. So we keep ourselves safe by having beliefs that are inaccurate. So if you want to believe planes are dangerous and you are afraid of planes based on the faulty assumption that they're dangerous, you will limit your ability to go on an adventure and grow and contribute and see the world. And if you have a goal to see the pyramids of egypt on your bucket list I don't know if you do, but nah, okay, uh, I would like to see them at some point and again, we'll see but that limits you from your ability to achieve that. So I think that dysfunctional belief is from the probably the frame of external achievement versus internal comfort. But again, I think that's a label issue. I think what we should do now is talk about all of your dysfunctional beliefs back in the day I'm happy to.

Kevin Palmieri

the reason I was laughing when you were doing your monologue is because you said I think there was like two or three times you said let me explain. And it was like you said three times, where you said let me explain. And it was like you said that the first time and then you said it with a different tone the second time Let me explain. That's why I started laughing, because it's like he's going to explain all over us. We're going to get explanation all over us. Nice, I hope you wore your not great clothes and you get explanation on you today. You're not great clothes. You're going to get an explanation on you today.

Alan Lazaros

So on the last episode Kev talked. We talked about how Kev anything that has to do with your relationship with Love it. Kev loves it.

Kevin Palmieri

Yeah.

Alan Lazaros

Anything that has to do with goal achievement. I hate this episode.

Kevin Palmieri

Huge fan, yeah, kev.

Alan Lazaros

Our listeners need both. This is next level, you next level university.

Kevin Palmieri

We want to grow as human beings. I'm no, I'm kidding.

Alan Lazaros

I don't achieve goals and dreams. So for you, old kev, new kev. So I always think to myself okay, where were we? Where are we now? What made the difference? And, yes, also, where do we still suck? I think that's important to acknowledge. And also, where are we great? So old kev eight years ago, pre-hyperconscious podcast what were his dysfunctional beliefs in hindsight and what would you change them to?

Examples of common dysfunctional beliefs

Kevin Palmieri

if you could. So you sent me a list, and many of them are in there one gpt gets credit for that.

Kevin Palmieri

I did shout out to shout out to chat gpt. Yeah, if I fail I'll never recover. That that's one. Success is only for lucky or talented people. That's for sure one that I used to have. My worth depends on other people's opinions of me. I would say that's fairly accurate One I didn't have. It was almost the opposite. I have to follow the traditional path to be happy. Mine. I have to follow the traditional path to be happy. Mine was almost the opposite. The only way I'm ever going to be happy is if I don't do what everybody else is doing which is interesting.

Kevin Palmieri

Yeah, Because I didn't really know that at the time.

Alan Lazaros

I think I just so those all of those, how many more are there? Because let's go through and debunk. Let's see let's reframe them Examples of.

Kevin Palmieri

Here's the other thing, too. Real quick. Do you have this up on your phone?

Alan Lazaros

No, I have this up on my TV.

Kevin Palmieri

I have it on my TV. Do you airplay? No, I just copied and pasted it from WhatsApp. Nice Son.

Alan Lazaros

I'm prepared, I'm the fucking host.

Kevin Palmieri

Hey brother, I thought I sent you this via text. You would never send this to me via text because you send copy and paste stuff in whatsapp I sent it to you via text. I'm looking at the text message, right now, you copied and pasted it from somewhere and sent it to me. I'm certain it was in whatsapp. How else would I have got? You're absolutely right, I sent you something else. I was going off this morning.

Alan Lazaros

That was something, yeah okay yeah, my bad, yeah, it's okay thank you, I'm glad you think it is I'm recording with alan.

Kevin Palmieri

Yeah, right now. Yeah, we're on the air. I love you.

Alan Lazaros

You're so beautiful. What's happening, Taryn?

Kevin Palmieri

That was maybe the cutest thing ever she makes the cutest faces when she does stuff like that. So characteristics of dysfunctional beliefs there's three. Four One is limiting. Two is rooted in fear or assumption. Three is rigid. Four is misaligned with reality. So maybe that's a layer under a layer under a layer. Love it limiting. You got nothing to say nothing. You don't want to touch on it. I'm doing it right now. I'm looking at what you're looking at, okay, okay.

Alan Lazaros

So for the listeners, let's so limiting. They hold you back from pursuing opportunities or taking risks. So you were on to something I am on to something With what you were saying.

Kevin Palmieri

Yeah, I'm ahead of the curve with this shit. You just don't give me credit for it. You know, one day, Alan comes around, he's like dude. I think you were right about that. I know, I know.

Alan Lazaros

Now there's been a lot of stuff. He's like I know what's your percentage?

Kevin Palmieri

What's your shot percentage? 80-20, bad.

Alan Lazaros

Oh, come on. Bad 80-20, bad, I think I'm. It depends. If we're talking about the world, I would say I'm 80-20 in the good sense when it comes to people. I was wrong a lot.

Reframing beliefs that are keeping you stuck

Kevin Palmieri

Well, what I would say is it has to be weighted. I've been given the every, but there's been some layups I've made that are like, yeah, I'll take credit for it, but I think anybody probably would have made that, so yeah, that's one way to improve your self-worth.

Alan Lazaros

Okay, limiting they hold you back from pursuing opportunities or taking risks. Again, keep you safe, keep you safe, keep you safe. Number two rooted in fear, or assumptions often based on fear, past experiences or cultural slash, slash, social conditioning. An example of this would be I could never start an online business because, uh, in the past, entrepreneurs needed a warehouse and all this kind of stuff, whereas with the internet, you need a laptop and that kind of thing. Okay, so that's based on the past. Okay, rigid is they resist change, making you feel stuck or closed off to new ideas yeah that's again fix mindset, yeah, fix mindset, yeah and then misaligned with reality.

Alan Lazaros

This is delulu, so they don't align with the facts or your current situation. This one's the hardest one to work with people on in coaching, because no one wants you to tell them that they're delusional and and it's really hard to do this because particularly people who lack inner humility with some clients they just trust me at this point. So you have to build enough trust and enough credibility to be able to say, hey, I don't want this to come off like I don't believe in you Because in the past I know you had so many people who don't believe in you. I actually do believe in you and I do believe your goals and dreams are possible. I need to start there.

Alan Lazaros

I actually do believe in you and I do believe your goals and dreams are possible. I need to start there, and I think you're a little delusional about the approach. I don't think you're going to be able to be a multimillionaire and not trade time for money. I just need you to retether back to the earth Because the humble pie is coming for you. I just want to give it to you in advance so that it doesn't hit you in the head like a brick.

Kevin Palmieri

Yeah, that is a hard one when you're misaligned with reality. They don't align with the facts or your current situation Maybe I would even throw in there or your potential. That's a hard one.

Alan Lazaros

Go deeper.

Kevin Palmieri

And there are some people that again, I had somebody that asked me one time. They said do you think anybody in the world can accomplish anything that they want? I said I used to. I used to think that was really empowering. Now I think it's ignorant Because I wanted to start a podcast. I have really good internet. I have access to technology. It's way different than somebody who is living somewhere where there's no internet and they don't have access to so many of the opportunities that I do. I mean, if we just play the odds, how much easier is it going to be for me to be successful quote unquote than them? Because so many of the things that I take for granted they have to figure out how to get to. So I think there are some realities that, while unfortunate, are at times just more statistically true.

Alan Lazaros

I won't say it's impossible, but Well, even right there, you just went to external circumstances instead of internal potential. I mean, there are certain people who just don't have a gift in effective communication. I would say that you have always been a fairly effective communicator, all things considered. All things considered, your baseline, your starting point was already pretty high. So, kevin, trying to be in the NBA is a great example, an extreme one, of it's not going to fucking happen. No matter what you do, no matter how hard you work, it's just not going to happen.

Alan Lazaros

And I think that sometimes people's dreams and goals are misaligned with reality and with their potential to your point, and I think that that's a dysfunctional belief. If you did believe you could be in the nba and then dedicated your life to it, you would regret that when it never happened. And I I think a lot of people say, well, why don't you? Anything's possible, that's really fun on a bumper sticker, but you could waste 30 years trying to pursue something that's never going to happen. And, by the way, that happens all the time. And they don't have movies about those people. They have movies about the people that did make it.

Kevin Palmieri

Yeah, Well, I think about it this way. If there's somebody out there, let's think about a man who is 7 feet 4 inches tall Doesn't have to be that great at basketball, Compared to somebody who's 6 foot 6, he doesn't have to be that great at basketball. He's a foot taller than I don't know how tall is your average NBA player 6'4", 6'6". I don't know. I mean, if we were just to think about it. If somebody is, yeah, probably 6'6", I don't know, I mean if we were just to think about it.

Kevin Palmieri

if somebody is, yeah probably 6'6", so this person's 8 inches taller than the average basketball player. They don't have to be as good from a skills perspective, but they're not. Most likely they're not going to be an Olympic sprinter 6'7". Okay, so let's. Is there anybody that's 7'7", who's the tallest player in the NBA?

Alan Lazaros

I'm on it.

Kevin Palmieri

Got to be 7'6" right. What do we got?

Alan Lazaros

Chat. Gpt is slow today. Huh, as of the 2024-2025 NBA season. The tallest player is Zach Eddie of the Memphis Grizzlies, standing 7 feet 4 inches tall. Okay, so 7 inches taller I think that you said 7'4".

Kevin Palmieri

Honestly, I don't know, Maybe, but okay, If somebody was to come across that gentleman at 7'4", If somebody was to come across that gentleman at 7'4" and they were going to say what is something statistically that you could be really good at? They're going to go with basketball or volleyball. But volleyball, I think, is different. That's a different level of athleticism, a different skill set. Let's just say volleyball or basketball.

Alan Lazaros

Just go over there.

Kevin Palmieri

Just stand in the middle. Just stand in the middle and put your head up high and take it easy.

Alan Lazaros

Learn how to box out. There's a couple fundamentals.

Kevin Palmieri

But if you were to find somebody who is five foot, let's say you were to find a young man who is five foot two, very muscular and very flexible. I'm going to ask who is the shortest. Okay, for this case, I'm just going to say that person might be like a gymnast or something. That is all I'm saying. There's just less resistance in certain directions than other directions.

Alan Lazaros

Hello, hello, hello. Nlu listener. Thank you, as always, for listening to Next Level University. Real quick. I just want to jump in and let you know about the Next Level Dreamliner. This is a journal that I use every single day. Achieve your dreams 90 days at a time. It breaks down your dreams into goals, milestones and daily habits. We hope you enjoy it. The link will be in the show notes, so Kev's avoiding it can.

Kevin Palmieri

When we talk about your dysfunctional beliefs whatever, whatever you want, I'm waiting for you to ask me some questions. Be a better interviewer than you are, so, oh my goodness. All right, as of the 2025 nba season.

Alan Lazaros

The shortest active player is yuki kawamura, a guard for the memphis grizzlies.

Kevin Palmieri

Same team memphis tallestest and shortest.

Alan Lazaros

That's a trip. I would love to see a picture of them together Standing at. It's still not that short.

Kevin Palmieri

Six foot three no five foot, eight Five foot eight, Five foot eight, the average height, I believe, of an American man. Is that true? I think so. Let's hey, let's get you out of chat.

Alan Lazaros

Gpt Come hang out with the team.

Kevin Palmieri

Yeah All right, you want to talk about my.

Alan Lazaros

My what. What I want to do is I want you to go through all of those ones that you said you had Examples of dysfunctional beliefs. I'm too old to try something new. Success is only for lucky or talented people. If I fail, I'll never recover. Can you go through these and then give an empowering alternative? Not even empowering Screw that An accurate alternative.

Kevin Palmieri

Yeah, success is only for lucky or talented people. There are some people that are way more successful than you are, that are way less talented. Ask me how I know I've met them. I know a lot of them. I know a lot of them. You might be one of them, I'm one of them.

Alan Lazaros

I'm just joking.

Kevin Palmieri

Oh no, I could be. Yeah, no, no, I'm one of them, I'm just joking. Oh no, I could be.

Alan Lazaros

Yeah, no, no, I thought you were going to say that Well, no, no, Now I'm a dick for saying it.

Kevin Palmieri

Yeah, yeah you made me feel bad. I'm so sorry, no, no, you really didn't. I figured that was what you were going to say, I would say naturally, yes, if you're out there, there's a very high naturally talented than I am.

Alan Lazaros

For sure.

Kevin Palmieri

I'm cool with saying that, depending on what it is. Yeah, for sure, I don't think I was that great at speaking at the beginning of this, I just liked it.

Alan Lazaros

I would disagree. Well, I appreciate it. I think you were on the high statistical end of effective communication. I don't think in your life there were people like I don't really know what that guy's talking about you were very effective there's something called an unconscious competency. You, dude, I was in middle school with you. You were very social, you remember this you, I swear.

Kevin Palmieri

Sometimes I think you're thinking of someone else. There must have been somebody that looked like me, that was as handsome as I, that you got me confused with son kev. You think you weren't popular, you were, I wasn't popular.

Alan Lazaros

You had everybody laughing all the time. Let me tell you something. At a law class, that was your fault.

Kevin Palmieri

You showed up in a full suit, one of the things you gotta connect with the audience.

Kevin Palmieri

That's one way to lose. When I was in middle school, there was I don't know what this says about me. I think it's good things. But number one my nickname was Shorty Makes sense. Talk about a self-fulfilling prophecy. I think at that point I pretty much knew that was it for me. I don't know how I knew, but there was these three girls that for some reason I had a little group called Shorty's Angels. Remember Charlie's Angels? Oh, yeah, for sure. I had my own group called.

Alan Lazaros

Shorty's Angels. That movie is awesome and terrible yeah, both at the same time.

Kevin Palmieri

It's the best, worst movie.

Alan Lazaros

You've ever seen All three of them? There's three of them, I don't know. I think so. Full Throttle, full.

Kevin Palmieri

Throttle, empty Throttle and the original one.

Alan Lazaros

I only saw the first one. You're missing out Maybe the second one.

Kevin Palmieri

What does that mean about me that I had my called Shorty's Angels? That?

Alan Lazaros

you were an effective communicator. It seems that way.

Kevin Palmieri

I was dating one of them at one point, but I don't understand how any of this happened.

Alan Lazaros

Don't you believe that in order to be funny, you have to be effective at communication? That's a skill that you developed. I would say in one direction.

Kevin Palmieri

Yeah, I would say in one direction. But I would say in one direction, but not doesn't make you well-rounded necessarily.

Alan Lazaros

Let me ask you this have you ever felt like it's really hard for you to get your points across?

Kevin Palmieri

Sometimes, when I have something I really want to get out, I think it's hard for me to tell the whole story to get it out.

Alan Lazaros

It's hard to connect the story to the thing so for anyone out there watching or listening who doesn't feel naturally gifted in effective communication, they all know that you don't know. Well, I'm. I'm sorry, I don't know. Oh, dude, it's all good. It's just one of those things where you have no idea. Whenever I talk numbers, emily is like slow down. It's just an unconscious competency, you don't? I had a peak performance partner way back who really struggled with effective communication. He had a stutter and a slur dude.

Alan Lazaros

It would be infinitely more difficult for him to be a podcaster than you he actually wanted to be and I was teaching him everything I knew about podcasting and I was probably going too fast and then I had a moment where, oh, that's gonna be really hard for you.

Alan Lazaros

Compared to me just like the seven foot four basketball player I've always I never realized how I thought I was a strong communicator. Then I realized I wasn't at all, unless you're an engineer. And then I Realized I suck. And then I worked on it and now I think I'm pretty good, but I don't want that to go to my head, so I keep working on it. But I would say I was statistically on the higher end. I never felt like it was super difficult for me to get my ideas across, except for mathematical ideas I never really thought about.

Alan Lazaros

I don't think I really thought about it until I started, like speaking it's just like athletics, you never thought about bodybuilding, you just got jacked and then, when you finally started doing it right, you had an unconscious competency in athletics.

Kevin Palmieri

My father took steroids.

Alan Lazaros

I don't think that's the only reason it's gotta help. Everybody has a. There's something called multiple minds and there's nine different modalities of genius, and you happen to have the kinesthetic one. That's why you were so good at baseball with one eye. I, an aesthetic one.

Kevin Palmieri

That's why you were so good at baseball with one eye. I feel like what's the tenth that needs context probably. I'll tell it Is the tenth one.

Alan Lazaros

your father was on steroids, yeah that's the ninth, that's the tenth one, that's the next book, that's the most important. That's the most important one, yeah.

Kevin Palmieri

So I went to the eye doctor and don't ask me why this happened, I don't know, but I went to the eye doctors when I was in late middle school, maybe. No, no, this was like freshman year of high school, 14. Possibly. And I got my eye test and they're like so how's Kevin doing at school? My mom's like he's good, yeah, a's and B's nothing crazy, but he does all right, cool, cool, cool. How's Kevin at sports?

Kevin Palmieri

He cannot be good at sports, right? And my mom was like no, he's very good at soccer and he's made the all-star team every year in baseball. He's really good, they're like yeah, so here's the thing. He's blind. Really good, they're like, yeah, so here's the thing. He's like blind in one eye. So statistically we don't know how any of that is possible, because he can't really see.

Alan Lazaros

When I have one contact out because it'll fall out when I'm dehydrated, I'll think this is terrible. Is this how Kevin feels it's terrible? Yeah, worse, it's so bad.

Kevin Palmieri

Bad if I, if I wink my, if I close my left eye and my right eye is the only one that's open I can't read anything on the tv. I can't read the fact that it says sony on my camera. I would know it was you, but not from like another 10 feet away.

Alan Lazaros

Sorry, man, I'm not trying to you're not allowed to laugh at stuff like that. But kevin and I have a good relationship. He doesn't care, so we're good.

Kevin Palmieri

Whenever my contact falls out, it's really tough well, it's probably worse because you're I mean, are you legally blind without your contact? No, how bad's your eye not, not, not that bad.

Alan Lazaros

Yeah, it's worse for me it's. You know what it is. And again we'll get back to the value. One contact can see really well, the other one can see semi well, it's. That's very disorienting. I don't know how you. I mean, obviously your brain has adapted. The brain adapts to its sensory apparatus.

Kevin Palmieri

Well, people have said that they're like how did you not know? It's like, I've never seen any different. So I just thought that's what you see. How does a colorblind person not know they're colorblind? That's all they've ever seen? I don't know what you see. Wait, you can read that shit.

Alan Lazaros

I thought that was blurry for everyone.

Kevin Palmieri

For everyone.

Alan Lazaros

Just a little side tangent. I remember the first time I ever got glasses. I could see the leaves so intricately on the trees. That's a thing. When you get glasses it's like, oh shit, I thought that was just blurry green stuff. Those are leaves, and I got classes magnificent first day I went to school.

Kevin Palmieri

Somebody called me four eyes first fucking day yeah that's brutal, son of a bitch, can them? No, I can't what put them down. Yeah, did you power through that?

Alan Lazaros

I'd hurt me glasses in school. There's a picture of you and I in middle school because I showed one of my old speeches.

Kevin Palmieri

What year in?

Alan Lazaros

middle school. Remember that picture that I showed of the redwood seed and then the redwood. It was a picture of you and I in middle school and then it's us in Florida.

Kevin Palmieri

Yeah, yeah, because we were in the same class.

Alan Lazaros

Mr Hallisey, that was seventh grade.

Kevin Palmieri

Seventh grade. That's when I got him, so it wasn't high school, it was seventh grade. Yeah, you had frosted tips. Of course I did. Everybody did Dude, that was the way.

Alan Lazaros

Yeah, it was the backstreet boy.

Kevin Palmieri

Yeah, girls used to come up to me and say can I touch your hair? I don't have any, I don't know what I'm doing. All right, can we get back to dysfunctional beliefs? I'm just trying to figure it out.

Alan Lazaros

I'm too old, ready. I'm too old You're going to debunk these in real time. Fire around. I'm too old to try something new.

Kevin Palmieri

No, no. You have so many lessons and so much knowledge that you didn't have when you were younger.

Alan Lazaros

You might actually be able to pick something up sooner than you would have if you started when you were younger.

Kevin Palmieri

Nice thanks man, you're welcome. I mean, it's not as good as I think it could have been, but success is only for lucky.

Alan Lazaros

I already did that one, all right this. Uh, hold on, if I fail, I'll never recover uh, yeah, here's the.

Kevin Palmieri

this is the weird thing about failure. I think the only way to get through and get over failure is to have micro-failures and eventually you get to the place where you almost don't think of it anymore. The things that scare the pants off of you today in terms of failing, eventually you just won't think of, and it gets way easier to recover as you go nice, a little long, but okay, my worth depends on other people's opinion of me yeah, that's a tough one.

Kevin Palmieri

Uh, nobody's opinion of you actually matters. Unless you value yourself Because you'll never sit with me on this one you'll never feel good about yourself. Even if everybody around you values you at the highest level, when you go home and you're by yourself, you're not gonna feel good. So your worth is directly dependent upon you, and the way you treat yourself and the way you hold yourself will most likely dictate the way other people treat you and hold you. A little lame.

Alan Lazaros

Yeah, that's okay.

Kevin Palmieri

I got to take a crack at these after too, I feel like I was failing the test based on the way that you said it.

Alan Lazaros

Okay, that one's wrong you in no way even came close to a coherent thought. Okay, a simple no would have been just fine. I have to follow the traditional path to be happy.

Kevin Palmieri

The traditional path of happiness was set up by people who aren't happy. So I would actually argue that you should probably do what feels the best to you, because that's most likely going to be the most fulfilling fucking life for you. Jesus, man Nice, that's man Nice.

Alan Lazaros

That's awesome.

Kevin Palmieri

How's that one Big?

Alan Lazaros

fan yeah, strong work. Okay, I got to take a crack at these.

Kevin Palmieri

All right, let me read it to you. I'm too old to try something new.

Alan Lazaros

Based on the neuroscience. Okay, this is fun. You get to see the difference between Kevin and I. How you and I work makes no sense based on the neuros. I do love you as well, brother. You're not gonna say it's been a pleasure you can say it back you know what I mean. You too, brother. Thank you, yeah, of course. Here's the deal. We have learned so much, seriously, man. We have learned so much from our different perspectives. Everyone out there watching or listening, you probably think we just argue all the time we don't in reality we don't.

Alan Lazaros

We're just having discussions. I'm watching a movie right now called the great debaters you answer the fucking question I'm gonna in a second.

Alan Lazaros

I'm watching a movie right now called the great debaters with denzel washington. The movie's freaking awesome. It's from the early 1930s Period. Pieces have been big for me lately. I'm going back reflecting. It's the first based on a true story. I believe Don't quote me on that the first African American College debate team To beat, to be allowed to even compete, which is wild, and to beat a Caucasian school. So just super inspiring.

Alan Lazaros

Denzel crushed it Of course, and it was all about how you take your mind back and your psychology matters and education area. Diet's awesome. Okay, here we go. I'm too old to try something. You go ahead.

Kevin Palmieri

First of all, it's 6.01. 6.01,. I don't know if you have to get off for a call or not. You do have a call Shortly.

Alan Lazaros

I'm too old to try something new, Okay, Based on the neuroscience. Children do have an advantage because there's something called a myelin sheath that wraps around neurons and it's harder to build that as you age. However, you can learn and still change your brain functionally, chemically and structurally, based on the science, even into your 90s Decent.

Kevin Palmieri

Decent Success is only for lucky or talented people.

Alan Lazaros

Talent gives you a huge advantage and everyone has has different, unique potential as they're born. However, without work ethic, learning and improving consistently over time, you are fucked.

Kevin Palmieri

I'm going to start calling you Jeff GPT. That's going to be your new nickname If I fail, I'll never recover fail, I'll never recover.

Alan Lazaros

You actually have to fail repeatedly and recover and get up smarter and stronger each time in order to achieve anything of great value, because no one is infallible. It's impossible to not fail. It's impossible. Every time you go for something, you're always going to suck at first, and you have to iterate and iterate and iterate and you pretty much never stop failing that would have been a perfect comedic place for you to say you're correct, if you fail, you'll never recover.

Kevin Palmieri

You are correct. Oh, that would have been great.

Alan Lazaros

Yeah, that was the play. Do it out of alignment my, it's fine, my worth, and also jeff gpt is allowed to swear, then chat gpt doesn't swear at you and also JeffGPT is allowed to swear, then ChatGPT doesn't swear at you.

Kevin Palmieri

Jeffgpt can do whatever JeffGPT wants. My worth depends on other people's opinions of me. That's a fact. Nice, nice, well done.

Alan Lazaros

Well played. Everyone else's opinion of you is actually wildly inaccurate, because they're only seeing you from the outside in, not from the inside out. That's it, and in one snapshot in time.

Kevin Palmieri

Anything else you want to fit on that fortune cookie thing. No, that's enough. Okay, cool, I have to follow the traditional path to be happy.

Alan Lazaros

The traditional. I agree with you on this one, nice. The traditional path to be happy is predicated on a world that no longer exists because, through technological advances and the internet and everything that we have now, a lot of the old belief systems around what you can and can't achieve is completely different. And while there's fundamental principles, if you go based on an old script, you're screwed. It's like a map that's outdated. You think there's a mountain there. It's not, it's a cliff, you're you're screwed.

Kevin Palmieri

Well, that's why gps's are game changers, because they update automatically in maps. You'd have to be like, ah, let me sit down and redraw out this road. That has changed. You know what? What's the occupation of a map maker? What man Cartographer, I believe? Oh, nice work Alright. So before work, all right.

Alan Lazaros

So, before we go, how's that for a fact of communication? Because I really have to go to the bathroom and I got to get on a call Kev. What is the one dysfunctional belief that you recommend everyone shift if they have it? If you could only choose one.

Kevin Palmieri

I'm not smart enough. Yeah, I'm not smart enough. I'm not. Yeah, I'm not smart enough. They're most. What if it's this simple? What if the reason you're quote unquote not smart enough is because you don't think you're smart and you never invested the time in learning more? Become a, quite literally becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy, and that was mine for sure. Never felt smart, never did things in the way that somebody who thought they would smart, thought they were smart would do, therefore felt stupid, self-fulfilling prophecy you almost made it through that whole thing I know, I really dropped the ball there at the end.

Kevin Palmieri

What is yours?

Alan Lazaros

self-belief. Ah, he says, the people that you believe are more confident than you deep down probably aren't, and they might be a frontin'. And self-belief is not innate it is built through keeping the small promises you make to yourself over time.

Kevin Palmieri

Strong work. Well, thank you all for hanging with us in this episode today, where we got a little opportunity to play fun and make giggles, and we're grateful for that. I'm still sick. I don't know what's going on, so if anybody has any magic elixirs, please send it over to the NLU headquarters and maybe it'll heal me.

Alan Lazaros

I think it's based on your dysfunctional beliefs.

Kevin Palmieri

I think, yeah, maybe that you should work 12 hours a day, every day.

Outro

Kevin Palmieri

That's your dysfunctional belief that you've downloaded into me, so I'll talk to the boss about that one. No, next Level Dreamliners are on Amazon. Next Level Nation, a private Facebook group for amazing people like you, alan is showing the Next Level Dreamliner. Excuse me. A private Facebook group for amazing people like you, alan is showing the Next Level Dreamliner. Excuse me. Nextleveluniversecom has everything you could ever need to know. We're actually in the process of doing some changes on that, so keep your eyes peeled and if you found value in today's show, make sure you like on YouTube, do all that, subscribe, leave a comment. All that that helps us help more people like you and we would appreciate that very much. As always, we love you, we appreciate you, grateful for each and every one of you, and at NLU we don't have fans, we have family. We will talk to you all tomorrow.

Alan Lazaros

Stay Next Level, next Level Nation.

Kevin Palmieri

Thanks for joining us for another episode of Next Level University. We love connecting with the Next Level family.

Alan Lazaros

We mean it when we say family. If you ever need anything, please reach out to us directly. Everything you need to get a hold of us is in the show notes.

Kevin Palmieri

Thank you again and we will talk to you tomorrow.

Head Shot

Alan Lazaros

Host
Head Shot

Kevin Palmieri

Host