Next Level University

Our New Perspective On The Law Of Attraction… (1991)

• Kevin Palmieri and Alan Lazaros

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Can you really “think” your way to success? In today’s episode, Kevin and Alan reveal the fundamental forces behind success—how your brain shapes what you notice, why clarity and action matter more than “manifestation,” and the hidden strategies behind “overnight success stories.” You’ll learn why writing down goals is only step one, the truth about self-belief, and how to get results in the real world. If you’re tired of empty promises and want practical steps to create real change, this episode is for you.

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Show notes:
(3:46) The reticular activating system explained
(6:31) Does thinking about money attract it?
(12:12) Psychological immune system & facing hard truths
(23:28) How journaling can help but won’t do it all
(26:04) The power of clarity & work
(29:03) At NLU, we want you to win! So, we’re giving tools and resources to ensure your success. Join our Monthly Meet-up every first Thursday of the month at 5 PM. https://bit.ly/4dPeTiD
(38:54) Why achieving dreams is way more complex than it seems
(46:49) If you do nothing, nothing will happen
(50:37) What weaknesses are holding you back?
(54:07) Outro

Send a text to Kevin and Alan!

Kevin Palmieri:

Yeah, I want you to sit down, get clear on what you want and then get clear on whether or not you feel like you have the belief and the self-worth and the community to get there, and then work on the weaknesses. What are the weaknesses you? Know, I feel like I have a really good idea. I just don't know what to do with it. Cool start there. Awesome start there, cool Start there Awesome.

Alan Lazaros:

Start there. Let's ask each other what did we used to think of the law of attraction when we first found the secret, and what do we think of it now? And let's unpack it layer by layer, and then every listener Next Level U will have an opportunity to take and leave what they think is best.

Kevin Palmieri:

Welcome to Next Level University. I'm your host, Kevin.

Alan Lazaros:

Palmieri and I'm your co-host, alan Lazarus, at.

Kevin Palmieri:

NLU, we believe in a heart-driven but no BS approach to holistic self-improvement for dream chasers.

Alan Lazaros:

Our goal with every episode is to help you level up your life, love, health and wealth.

Kevin Palmieri:

We bring you a new episode every single day on topics like confidence, self-belief, self-worth, self-awareness, relationships, boundaries, consistency, habits and defining your own unique version of success.

Alan Lazaros:

Self-improvement in your pocket, every day, from anywhere, completely free.

Kevin Palmieri:

Welcome to Next Level University, next Level Nation. Welcome back to another episode of Next Level University, where we help you level up your life, your love, your health and your wealth. Today for episode number 1,991, our new perspective on the Law of Attraction. So we're going to try to keep it serious, but it's 7.53 right now. On Wednesday I don't even know what day it is. It's been a weird freaking week.

Alan Lazaros:

Wednesday.

Kevin Palmieri:

It's been a long day, alan and I are kind of giggly, but I said we should do an episode on what our new perspective on the law of attraction is, because I think one. We have talked a lot about it. We, I think one. We have talked a lot about it, we have interviewed people about it and, honestly, my perspective has changed a ton, maybe to a place where I'm almost nervous to talk about it. And I think that's I don't know if you're out there and you've grown and you've evolved and you've learned new stuff maybe your perspective has changed to a place where you're nervous to talk about what you believe now versus what you used to. So, yeah, we're going to do an episode on that.

Alan Lazaros:

What are you nervous about?

Kevin Palmieri:

I don't think it's. I don't believe in it at all anymore, not in the way it's defined or the way that I think most people label it. I think it is. So there is. I did a little research today. Nice, okay, there is a group of oh I'm in trouble nerves in your brain stem called the reticular activating system. You want me to chat gpt this thing? No, no, no, no, let me see how well I do, and then you can well if you want.

Kevin Palmieri:

But and this is the reason you can drive down the road and you don't see every single tree and every single crack and every single line. Essentially, this is the thing in your brain that helps you. It decides what you should focus on and what you shouldn't focus on. Essentially, in the simplest form, I think that is the law of attraction in a nutshell. When you say to yourself I want to get a red car, you start seeing red cars. Those red cars were always there. Statistically, there are no more red cars closer to you than there were before. Your brain just was not primed to see them, because if it saw every red and every yellow and every purple and every green and every white and every black car, you wouldn't be able to drive down the street without getting into an accident.

Kevin Palmieri:

And I think and again this, I'm going to be very gentle with what I'm about to say, so please don't villainize me but I think it's very convenient that most many of the people that talk about law of attraction and all that build a career by helping other people believe in the law of attraction and that's kind of how they accomplish the money aspect. It's like, well, I just started really thinking about money and then it came into my life. So, you know, you started thinking about money and you started talking about how the law of attraction will bring money into your life and then people were like, fuck, yeah, this is the kind of content I need. Then they bought your book and then money started coming into your life and then you were able to talk about how the law of attraction you went from six figures to seven figures and then more people bought into it and then eventually you're in a villa somewhere saying I just like thought my way here. It's like, well, no, I don't think it. I don't think it really works that way. So I don't want this to be disempowering. That's not my goal. I mean, this is genuinely my new perspective.

Kevin Palmieri:

I was talking to Taryn about this the other day. I went into the bedroom and said I don't think I believe in it at all In the way I used to. I very much think based on our episode about goal setting. You set a goal and it's clear I want to blank in this way by blank date. Cool. What's a good example of this? Cool, I want to get more podcast clients. What do you think I'm going to see? I'm going to see people who are good at podcasting, who I feel like we could help.

Kevin Palmieri:

If you're looking for more business clients, you're going to find your way to meet more people in business.

Kevin Palmieri:

If you just started a business right now and you're, let's say, you just started a tire business, you're going to be walking through parking lots looking at car tires more than you ever have in your entire life, because now it's way more connected to the outcomes that you're trying to make in your life.

Kevin Palmieri:

So that is my thesis. I think most of it is the reticular activating system and it is essentially saying I would like to prime my brain for this new thing that I've never primed my brain for before, and then you start to see it. Then you can take action and then I know you have some ways you want to go, but I'm not, I'm not shitting on it. If you believe in the law of attraction, I'm not going to tell you not to. If you think it's everything, I'm not going to tell you. It's not everything. This is just my new perspective after eight years of living it, trying it and then really saying like, oh okay, if I kept listening to that person and the way they explained it to me, I would have been fucked For sure.

Kevin Palmieri:

So I think they were. Maybe either they were missing something or I was missing something, or both. I'm not saying I'm right. I'm not saying I have all the answers. That is my new perspective on the law of attraction.

Alan Lazaros:

Nice, okay, reticular activating, saying I have all the answers. That is my new perspective on the law of attraction Nice, okay, reticular activating system. When I'm on with clients I often say 72, 72, 72, 72, 72. And I say later today, when you see the number 72, it's because I just primed your brain to see the number 72.

Alan Lazaros:

It's like well, what if I don't see 72? Does that mean Alan doesn't know anything? No, all right. So I am constantly pre-framing, re-framing, de-framing. So pre-framing is hey, kev 72, 72, 72, and then he's gonna be Watching football later and see a player. Oh, 72, it's meant to be. No, I just pre-framed you With that number. Okay, that's pre-framing.

Kevin Palmieri:

It's called priming. There's a great. There's a great scene in a movie Focus, yeah, and I don't want to spoiler alert it, but the grand reveal at the end of the movie is based on pre-framing. It's a whole thing. I don't remember if it's a good movie or not, but it's a movie, yeah.

Alan Lazaros:

Spoiler alert If you have not seen Focus, skip this part. Nice, there is a pre-framing that happens, where they flash a number throughout this person's entire day to their subconscious mind and the person does not consciously pick up on this number, and they're conning someone into betting in sports on a certain player or a certain amount of touchdowns or whatever.

Alan Lazaros:

The point is they primed him with a certain number and they knew he'd pick that number and it was a big bet for millions of dollars. It was a whole con. And then they show after the con works how they did it. And it was little name tags with that number on it and it was, you know, a license plate with that number on it. All that kind of stuff. That's called priming, that's called pre-framing.

Alan Lazaros:

One of the things that I am constantly doing in my coaching is I'm trying to prime the reticular activating system of my client. So I have one client in particular who is really excited to attract her dream partner and what I'm trying to help her do is identify in advance okay, what is it that you have done in the past that has attracted the people that you don't want? Okay, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom. All right, what is it that you actually do want? Not what you think you want, but let's dig deep. Let's go deep Like what do you want in a partner? She starts okay, this, this, this, what do you not want? Okay, I don't want this, this, this. I said okay, from my perspective, the way that you attract someone who is of that heart-driven nature is not the way you've been doing it. Okay, that's pre-framing Awesome.

Alan Lazaros:

Next is reframing. So here's what you used to think, kev, about the law of attraction. Now the way it actually works boom, boom, boom. That's reframing. Deframing is the part that's the hardest in coaching. Deframing is I'm basically destroying your frame of reference. So I have to basically okay, let's imagine Kevin his whole life thought he was not attractive at all and in order for him to attract someone who's more attractive, he would have to somehow believe he was attractive and actually shine. Let's say he thought he was ugly, ugly and because of that he was not willing to go up to taryn his wife and ask her to go on a date. I would have to basically say I'd have to destroy your old belief that you're ugly and convince you that you're actually an attractive man. And the part that really sucks about this in coaching is when it's the other way around. Yeah, so imagine kevin thinks he's the hottest thing ever and he's actually ugly. Okay, that, I hate that. So I basically just don't want to coach those people. Um, I'm kidding, but it's really hard to deframe when it's in the wrong direction, because if you think you're a 10 when you're a 6. You're basically gonna guarantee that you are not playing at the level you're supposed to play. It's a whole fucking thing, okay.

Alan Lazaros:

So reticular activating system is a network of neurons in the brainstem that plays a key role in regulating wakefulness, attention and focus. It acts as a filter, determining which sensory information reaches the conscious mind and what gets ignored. One of the reasons why it's really hard for self-improvement content that's very honest to get through to people is because it's against what they actually want to believe. The fluffy, feel-good, it's all going to work out type of content tends to do better with more people because it's already in alignment with what they already believe. And this whole idea of hey, by the way, you're not actually that attractive, you're actually less attractive than you think. Also, you're not as hard working as you thought. Also, you think your dreams are possible, but actually it's going to require 10 times more effort than you originally thought. And, by the way, this isn't real. This isn't real. This isn't real. That's a lot harder to get through to people because they have what's known as a psychological immune system, also known as an ego.

Alan Lazaros:

A psychological immune system is essentially this idea where all of us, our consciousness, is designed to not be. It protects us from hard truths. So let's say again hypothetically this is literally hypothetical do not think anything of this. If Kevin actually was ugly, his brain would protect him from that truth. And you do a really good job, I think, of making sure you stay connected to reality. And the reason why is because you don't want to think you're tall and then get rejected and have someone say honestly no, I'm not into short guys. So Kev does the opposite. He basically level sets himself so that he doesn't get his expectations high because he's. His expectations have basically been crumbled so many times. Is this making sense?

Kevin Palmieri:

yeah, well, I think, even if we just think of immune system, if you think of an immune system, what does it do? It protects you from whatever it is sickness, illness, whatever yeah.

Alan Lazaros:

so if you are not well developed enough emotionally to handle a hard truth, so me as a kid, there were a lot of hard truths around me that I wasn't ready to handle, my birth father passing away. I didn't start facing a lot of that until I was an adult, and I think one of the reasons is because I wasn't ready to handle it. And so, unfortunately, what's a good example of this? A lot of the truths that are necessary to achieve our goals, in order to have accurate data and take a right turn, that's not off a cliff, but rather is actually a road. A lot of that we don't have the ability to face yet, and that's why it's this weird paradox where the law of attraction is okay, I need self-belief to set a goal. The moment I set a goal, all of a sudden, I will see the person's, places, things and ideas necessary to achieve that goal. However, my psychological immune system and my ego stop me from seeing the truth of the matter. We want to believe things are easier than they are, because that protects us from facing the fact that we're actually lazy.

Alan Lazaros:

It's this, and I've tried really hard to reverse this script and I, instead of thinking, alan, okay, you're so smart. I try to reverse it and say, alan, what if you're not that smart? What don't you know? What are you missing? Why isn't this working? What might you be missing? Where are your blind spots?

Alan Lazaros:

But that's not fun.

Alan Lazaros:

It's not fun to look at everything you suck at. But, paradoxically, the more you look at where you suck, assuming you have self-belief and good emotional self-worth, you actually can build from that accurate place, and then you end up better and more accurate and then you actually can attract your goals and dreams. So if you think better and more accurate, and then you actually can attract your goals and dreams, so if you think, oh, I'm gonna wish you know, uh, money into my bank account, you will basically see opportunities that seem too good to be true, then you'll act on them and then you'll pretty much be preyed upon in a way, by people who are also pretending that that's a thing. And that goes back to what you talked about at top, which is this sort of delusion can perpetuate very quickly and and I think that most people who do that long enough and I went through a delusional phase myself as well you eventually realize, okay, well, this is not working, I'm still broke, it feels good.

Alan Lazaros:

It feels good. Yeah, it does. It feels really good, but it doesn't work in the real world.

Alan Lazaros:

You can't get abs through the law of attraction.

Kevin Palmieri:

No.

Alan Lazaros:

And abs are what everyone wants, so it's just an interesting thing to talk about.

Kevin Palmieri:

There is a girl on Instagram I won't say her name, but again, she's like the number one motivational speaker in the world and she talks all about the law of attraction. She bought all of her followers. You can go, look, I mean, there's apps where you can track this stuff. That wasn't. She literally bought all of her followers. Yeah, a lot of the people that are taught. This is the other thing too.

Kevin Palmieri:

I was thinking this the other day and again, I'm not making this wrong, I'm not making this wrong, but, again, most people don't ever get the opportunity to see this. There's a lot of people out there that are super, they're super spiritual and they're they're just like. You know, if it's meant to be, it'll be, and this, this, this awesome. Cool, if that's what floats your boat. Cool.

Kevin Palmieri:

Behind the scenes, they are split-testing podcast titles, youtube thumbnails, teaser clips, copy on their website. They are literally strategizing absolutely everything behind the scenes and then they're telling you don't worry about it, that's bullshit. So it doesn't work the way people are telling you. It actually doesn't it because if it did, they'd be doing the same shit. They wouldn't have to strategize behind the scenes because they're telling you you don't have to. You don't have to strategize. Just align yourself with a certain frequency and money will come.

Kevin Palmieri:

No, it won't. No, what if? What if aligning yourself with a certain frequency means you learn more and you grow more and you start to set boundaries and you become more competent and you get outside of your comfort zone and you learn stuff you didn't know and you take shots you never would have taken and you build your self-worth and you build your self-belief and you say yes to the things that you've worked so hard to get the opportunities to, and then you deliver. What if that's raising your frequency? Isn't that what it is? Or do you want me to go sit in the fucking corner for six hours and think?

Alan Lazaros:

that's not how it really works.

Kevin Palmieri:

Now again, because, again, this is, this is a podcast episode. You can take. Take any clip of this and make it go wild. I think there are some people that would benefit from that those that are not connected to themselves, those that are not connected to spirituality, those that are not connected to their egos, those that are not connected to their egos. They're not hyper-conscious. Yes, but it's just. I don't know, man. I think at this point I've just seen too much behind the scenes to believe almost anything.

Alan Lazaros:

That's what we are supposed to be, I think in the world you and I are supposed to be. I know.

Kevin Palmieri:

I know, and that's the irony. I don't want to be negative.

Alan Lazaros:

I don't want people to think I'm negative, I just I don't think you're negative and I think that the sincerity will shine through.

Kevin Palmieri:

I do, if the internet didn't exist, a lot of the people that talk about the law of attraction would be fucking broke 100%. And you could say the same about us, though, Like guys, if podcasting didn't exist, you'd be broke. Here's the thing. No, we wouldn't, yeah.

Alan Lazaros:

I know.

Kevin Palmieri:

Because we both weren't broke in the real world before the internet, I know, and the reason why is because we worked our faces off. But I'm just saying I understand that that could be the argument for it and I would understand if somebody made that argument.

Alan Lazaros:

Well, let's each do something. We've got to jump here soon because it's 8 o'clock at night and this is not the law of attraction, this is work ethic at 8 o'clock at night, when we're gonna stay here, all your wife is literally waiting for us, but we do whatever it takes and that's, that's who we are and that's our brand.

Alan Lazaros:

And if you believe what we believe, which is you have to earn your way to external success and internal fulfillment, then you're here to learn how to how to really do it. We want to see you really win in the real world, not not in the in the social world. The real world first, social world second. They both matter, but I'd rather you be successful in the real, in real life, and then have that ripple outward. And this is, I think, is the best metaphor. Everyone's wedding looks great, not everyone's marriage is great. Focus on the marriage and then the wedding can look wonderful as a byproduct, rather than the other way around. And I think that if you focus on your real life and your real career in the real world and then let that ripple into the social world, that's much better than doing it the other way around, and Kevin and I in the past have been outside in approach and it does not work. It doesn't work in terms of actual fulfillment and joy and love and growth and contribution, and well-being.

Alan Lazaros:

It's not a wholesome approach. You got to go from the inside out. So what I think we should do to challenge ourselves here real quick is let's ask each other, what did we used to think of the law of attraction when we first found the secret, and what do we think of it now? And let's unpack it layer by layer, and then every listener next level. You will have an opportunity to take and leave what they think is best, do you?

Kevin Palmieri:

want to start.

Alan Lazaros:

I think you probably should.

Kevin Palmieri:

I'm happy to if you want me to. No, no, I'm, I just wanted to give you a chance if you wanted to well, I think mine will probably be a little longer winded than yours, so to be expected, what I I used to think I had stumbled upon this miracle that had been hidden from me.

Kevin Palmieri:

That was the missing piece to everything that I didn't know I was missing. That was what I thought in the very beginning. It was like, holy shit, this is what I've been missing. This is why I'm not successful. And again, when I found the secret, I was doing fairly well at life. It wasn't terrible. I was making good money, I was in really good shape, my mental health was not good, but external world I was doing pretty good, but I wanted to be like a millionaire. I wanted to be a millionaire. That would be cool. Let me do that. But I even remember I didn't read it, I listened to it. I remember listening to it, thinking like, eh, I don't know, so you just like healed your sickness.

Alan Lazaros:

Huh.

Kevin Palmieri:

Okay. Then later on we read the Biology of Belief by Bruce Lipton in Book Club and I was like, all right, maybe there's some science to some of that. Right, there's some science to belief, but not like they were talking about in the Secret. So, yeah, I thought it was this thing that I had, I thought it was the secret to success that I didn't know yet, that I didn't know, I needed to know. And it was like, okay, makes sense. I've never, I've never sat down and just thought about it. Makes sense. I've never done that. So maybe this is something. And then I think over time. Then I think over time kind of like everything else. It just that's a very, very, very, very small piece of it. I think it's a very, very, very small piece of it. I used to journal every day, Remember.

Kevin Palmieri:

I used to journal every single day With your brekkie. With my brekkie, yeah, my brekkie, I would have coffee breakfast and I remember I was doing breakfast journal and broke well, I was doing what is what is considered, I think, quantum journaling, where I was literally saying I am grateful for something that I don't have yet and I did that for years and, honestly, I never got most of the stuff that I said.

Alan Lazaros:

I was super grateful for you know. Ironically, you have now that thing.

Kevin Palmieri:

Yeah, it's not because I've been journaling. I mean, I've been journaling in the Dreamliner, but not like I used to.

Alan Lazaros:

But that's the thing, right is a lot of people that do that. They then go do the other parts of the equation for a decade and then they go wow, I did journal about that 10 years ago.

Kevin Palmieri:

Yeah, and then they get interviewed and all that stuff right, yeah, but here's the thing. Yeah, I journaled about a lot of the stuff that I have today because that's what I wanted, and I was very clear on what I wanted and then you and I. Step one, you and I sat down and said how do we do it? Yeah, how do we? What's? How do? How do we do it? What are the?

Kevin Palmieri:

things Well, you more than I, but what are the things, how do we do it? And then we spent the next five years every day doing that Solid step one. It's a really good step one.

Alan Lazaros:

Quantum journaling, solid step one.

Kevin Palmieri:

And I'm convinced that that's where the clarity comes in. If you're super clear on what you want, I am willing to bet. If you're super clear on what you want, I am willing to bet. If you're super clear on what you want and you have enough self-belief to just start and just see. See what it's like from that first step. When you step up it's like all right, it's a little higher up here than I thought, but I can do step two.

Alan Lazaros:

If you have those two things, I think you're kind of sort of off to the races, because clarity is a privilege and self-belief is rarer than I, than I ever thought it was coming from someone who never had it. And now it's like so what are your steps? So, step one quantum journal. Okay, now what are the other ones after that?

Kevin Palmieri:

yeah, so write it down. Write it down. I'm all for emotionalizing it. Huge fan of that huge fan went okay, this is good, this is good, and then I'll get back on it. You got me fired. I'm so fired up about this because I just think I don't know. I feel like I really needed to hear this at the beginning of the journey. Not that I don't know if I would have done anything different. I might have done the same thing. I might have had the same experiences.

Kevin Palmieri:

I don don't, I don't know it would have been like thank you for that advice or thank you for that content. Let me see what I want to do with it. I went to, I spoke at a podcast conference in Florida last year. I rented a nice car, happened to be a BMW. Okay, happened to be almost the same exact BMW I have today. Okay, you know why I have the BMW I had today? Because I rented it in Florida. I didn't know it existed before that.

Kevin Palmieri:

That's why that's it. Now you could say well, was it the law? No, it wasn't the law of attraction. I told Alan. I said dude, I literally said this to Alan. I said I'm speaking at this event, I want to feel what it feels like to be successful. Let me rent a more expensive car. And he's like dude, I trust you. Fucking weird, but I trust you.

Alan Lazaros:

Yeah, just don't go crazy. One dumb decision leads to another dumb decision, don't go crazy with it.

Kevin Palmieri:

It's all good. That's why.

Kevin Palmieri:

I have a BMW. That's the exact reason why I have a BMW. And again, it's not about the car. I'm just using an example. I rented a mercedes for tyron's birthday one year. You know what I was planning on? Getting a mercedes because I had rented one and that was the nicest car I'd ever driven and I said I would like that. Then I just happened to be in a bmw and I said I like this more and it's newer and I have more belief than I did before. So now I can actually set that as a goal. And then six months later, whatever it was a year later, I had it Clarity.

Alan Lazaros:

Manifested the payment right into the yes, I wish. Manifested the BMW, I wish we didn't manifest the payment. That's a good, it's a playful joke. We're not actually going to do an episode on this, but imagine manifesting the bmw and the payment.

Kevin Palmieri:

Well, if you can, manifest one without the other. Well, the secret tells you you can. Well, you can't. Yeah, no, you can. You can definitely. You can definitely manifest a car without the payment. You just have to pay it all at once in cash you do that cash.

Alan Lazaros:

Yeah, you do that, you don't there's no payments. You're good, yeah you're scot-free, you just have to have the 50 g's up front.

Kevin Palmieri:

But again, it's not about that, it's not. I'm not trying to flex with cars or any of that. It's just like, yeah, no, it was the. It was in my conscious brain. It was. I was conscious of it. I sat in a car. I emotionalized what it would be like to own it. It was now a conscious thought. I had enough belief to go to Alan and say, dude, I would love a car like that. What do I have to do to make that happen? You have to make X amount of dollars over the next couple of months yeah, I think it was what.

Alan Lazaros:

Five more clients in the next three months and that could afford the payment or whatever. But the payment that was advertised, yeah, well, it's never that.

Kevin Palmieri:

And then you and I sat down and we said how do we make that happen? And then we went and made it happen. Very little of it had to do with the law of attraction. Very, very, very, very little.

Alan Lazaros:

The clarity and then aligning myself with the right people, places things, ideas, feelings, niches, events, whatever and then work, and then work, and then work, and then facing fears you didn't want to face, facing rejection you didn't want to face right. I think it just comes down to everyone's giving part of the equation but not the whole thing.

Kevin Palmieri:

It's fair, it's fair. Again, we're supposed to have a guest on. That is massive, a massive social media following and I came across a post that said if it's meant for you, you can never screw it up. And I texted Alan that day and I was like dude, we can't do this. I can't, I don't believe this. I think this is highly irresponsible to share with our audience. I don't want to do this. I don't want to do these fucking episodes anymore, because that I don't believe that You're just opting out of all responsibility. That wasn't meant for me.

Alan Lazaros:

I guess the Beamer wasn't meant to be, the podcast wasn't meant for me, when, in reality, your psychological immune system is protecting you from the fact that you didn't do the work to get it 100%. You missed that opportunity. You didn't get the coach you could have, you didn't read the books, you didn't do the extra work, you didn't do the extra work.

Alan Lazaros:

You didn't burn the midnight oil. You didn't stay up till eight o'clock at night on a weekday when our wives or my future wife and your wife are waiting for us, yeah, so it's so interesting too. I just I'm with you and I think it's good and I'm grateful that we're leaning into the candor that's necessary to help people really achieve success. Quantum journaling is a great first step. I wrote down a lot, all the stuff kevin and I have accomplished within reason. Not all of it. Most of it has been written down at some point, but that was step fucking one, and 99 of it was not step one. Can I ask you a question?

Kevin Palmieri:

real quick, of course. Do you think journaling, maybe quantum journaling helps you believe in it more? I know again it won't land for you because you believe in it before you do anything. But like I don't know for me, do you think me? Journaling helped me believe more in what I was actually writing down?

Alan Lazaros:

NLU listener what is happening? I just wanted to jump in here and let you know if you want to get to the next level faster. We have a free virtual monthly meetup at the first Thursday of every month. You can connect with like-minded people and become a bigger part of this amazing global community. The link to register will be in the show notes.

Alan Lazaros:

I think the central nervous system is connected to your unconscious brain stem and I think that when you write it down, it probably is programmed into your unconscious to some extent. That's why a lot of teachers I'm reading a book about how to teach more effectively and in some ways I'm a teacher, obviously, but coach. But ultimately, when you write things down, it's been proven that you memorize things better when you write it than when you type it, and typing is still better than nothing because you write it than when you type it, and typing's still better than nothing because you're still using your central nervous system. So one of the things that I think is going to be maybe hard for me to communicate is I'm going to break down the neuroscience of why the law of attraction actually doesn't work unless XYZ. So the first step of the law of attraction is so if you study cognitive behavioral therapy, there's a triad I've talked about in the past and I coach a cbt therapist that we've gone very deep about this. So I I'm not certified or anything, but I definitely have studied this deeply and it's your thoughts create feelings, your feelings create actions. It's it's called the cbt triad. Anyone can look this up, okay, and the idea is, if you change your thoughts, you'll change your feelings, and if you change your feelings, you can change your actions. And one of the things that I think is really hard is when our feelings okay.

Alan Lazaros:

So if, if I give you a thought out there watching or listening anyone viewing anyone out there, if I say, hey, you are not going to achieve, achieve your dreams unless you work harder, if you are someone who believes you should be able to achieve your dreams unconsciously, without work, you will dislike me and dislike the podcast and you won't take it in. The reason why is because it will create an emotion. That's sadness. Your identity is wrapped up in a world where you should be able to manifest big results with minimal effort, even though that might not be true unless you have a rich family or unless you certain things, even though that might not be true, unless you have a rich family or unless you certain things. Okay, so you won't allow the thought in because you're afraid of the feeling. Unconsciously you won't. If you're afraid of the feeling, you basically won't take action. So this triad is where where success actually lives. So I'll break down my sort of formula for success to the best of my ability and again we'll see.

Alan Lazaros:

Okay, so the first step is you set a clear goal of something that you would like to achieve Health, wealth or love, whatever, whatever it is okay. Once you have that written down, now it is programmed quote-unquote into your subconscious mind because you wrote it. Your central nervous system is connected to the brainstem. The brainstem is connected to the subconscious mind. The subconscious mind is connected to the conscious mind. Conscious mind is thoughts. Subconscious is feelings. Central nervous system is actions in the subconscious mind. The subconscious mind is connected to the conscious mind. Conscious mind is thoughts. Subconscious is feelings. Central nervous system is actions. In the cbt triad you now have to marry all three of those in alignment and the way that which, in which you do that is now you go into the world with this new goal. So we'll use kevin's beamer as an example. So kevin experiences being in a bmw instead of the mercedes and he says oh, I fucking yeah, this is good okay so then he writes down I want a beamer within the next two to five years, okay, awesome.

Alan Lazaros:

And you put the exact fucking color and whatever the model is. Don't even know to this day what it is I didn't do it, no idea, okay it is.

Kevin Palmieri:

I didn't do it, okay, yeah, no, I didn't do it.

Alan Lazaros:

I didn't do any of that. Nope, okay, what is it? It's a bmw, what uh 230 230i x drive okay again, it's not like w 230i x drive it's not the whammy one.

Kevin Palmieri:

Yeah, I didn't go in there and say give me the, but what's the most expensive thing you got? Double it and give me one that wasn't it okay.

Alan Lazaros:

So BMW luxury car awesome. Okay, not that clear, but clear enough. Then Kevin goes into the world and then he looks for opportunities to earn more money because he knows the BMW. What was it promoted at 500 bucks or?

Kevin Palmieri:

something. Yeah, it was like $499 a month. I was like I could do that. I could do that right now.

Alan Lazaros:

This is great, yeah, this is gonna be great, and what it ended up being? 776, exactly. Okay, so he was ready to walk away, but it's like fuck it, let's do this. So, anyways, uh, you go out into the world and you see opportunities to earn more money. Some of those opportunities were dumb, in my my opinion, with love, some of them were very aligned with our ultimate mission Great.

Alan Lazaros:

So then you needed five more clients in order for us to afford that payment. Okay, boom. And then you did what you had to do in order to. So you got rejected. How many? Okay, so getting five clients. Now let's unpack that. Okay, well, in order to get five clients, you need to actually have a company with a reputable brand. You have to have services that are dependable and you have to have a team to do those services. You have to know about your be an expert in your field. You have to have warm leads, which are generated from, in this case, podcasters and podcast production. See how there's all these other things that when I say, oh, done BMW. There's all these other things that when I say, oh, done BMW. There's all these other things that have to be in alignment in order for you to achieve it. So this is the simplest way I can possibly give it. I know we'll get out of here. Number one you have to understand yourself. You have to understand your thoughts, your feelings and your actions.

Alan Lazaros:

You have to understand if you are or aren't lazy. You have to understand, and I don't mean lazy compared to anyone else, I mean lazy compared to what's necessary to achieve your goals. People always say, well, you're so hard working, why do you keep calling yourself lazy? Listen, with all the love, I am hard working statistically, but compared to what I'm trying to achieve, I know for a mathematical fact I am fucking lazy. Okay, my goals require more of me, and I'm certain of it, trust me. Okay. So, number one thoughts, feelings, actions. You need to figure out what those are and what. How to align those. Number two you have to understand yourself, others and the world. If you understand yourself at the deepest level, you go.

Alan Lazaros:

Okay, I am kind of lazy, so now I have to work on self-discipline Okay. So now I'm going to work on it. Boom, boom, boom, boom, boom. I'm going to keep my promises to myself Awesome. I'm going to read books about discipline. I'm going to get harder. I'm going to build grit Awesome. Okay. Now you have to learn about others. Oh, it turns out these people are full of it. They never buy these other people. Okay, they're sincere and honest Okay, that works. This is my ideal target.

Alan Lazaros:

Now the world. How does it work? You can't just get five clients. You need to understand profit margin. You have to understand how much it taxes. You have to understand how much is gross revenue versus net revenue, versus all this stuff. So one of the things that bothers me the most in the world is that people that are already successful tell other people that aren't yet already successful. Tell other people that aren't yet. Oh, you can write down your goals and they do come true. Yes, but what you have to learn and develop within yourself is insane the amount of failure we've had to face in order to be successful. I have a therapist. I've had to guide you every step of the way in strategy. We've had countless conversations behind the scenes. There has been blood, sweat and tears literally Sweat and tears, more than blood.

Kevin Palmieri:

but maybe some blood. Yeah, very little blood. I'm sure there's good blood. I've set up a lot of equipment in my day. I'm sure I ripped a knuckle off at least once or twice, but that's the other part.

Alan Lazaros:

So first step is yeah, write down what you want to achieve. The first step is yeah, write down what you want to achieve, but then after that, you have to align everything you say, think, do, feel and believe.

Alan Lazaros:

The person's places, things and ideas, time, effort and money into that, and that's what this podcast is about. I do believe anyone out there heart-driven but no BS holistic self-improvement for dream chasers. You can achieve your goals and dreams within reason. Unless you want to beat lebron james at basketball. You probably can do it okay, but it might take you 10, 15, 20, 30 years, depending on the size of the goal.

Alan Lazaros:

Michael phelps won a gold medal, but it took him seven years without missing a single day in the pool, and he was also michael phelps, right. So your goals are doable, but they're not doable overnight, they're not doable with minimal effort and they're not doable unless xyz abc dyw and and I think that that's why the law of attraction makes it sound really cool, which I think can be a good first step. But then you approach life and you try to actually succeed and then you're wildly disappointed because it's well. Why is it so easy for everyone else? It isn't. You're just seeing the front of the scenes, them talking about it in hindsight here's where I was, here's where I am now, here's what got me here, and they're leaving out 90 of it just because they don't have the time to explain what 10 years was actually like I think and or they're lying through their fucking teeth.

Kevin Palmieri:

Well, that's definitely part of it. It's really easy to just. There's very little resistance in just following up on a belief that you already have. I mean, if you're looking for an answer and the answer is it's got to be easier than it's been, and then you come across that content, you're going to resonate with that content because that's what you're looking for. And then you come across that content. You're going to resonate with that content because that's what you're looking for. How?

Alan Lazaros:

much harder is this. You've achieved many of your dreams. How much harder was it than you anticipated after watching the series? Unimaginably.

Kevin Palmieri:

Unimaginably, words cannot even describe.

Alan Lazaros:

Yeah, I think it's irresponsible to tell people that they can achieve their dreams easily.

Kevin Palmieri:

I do too, yeah, goals and dreams are really hard. That's why I mean why else?

Alan Lazaros:

think about it. Why isn't everyone in a mansion on the beach? I always try to say things like that it's not because it's not. It's not that thinking. Imagine everyone wakes up tomorrow with a six pack. Everyone wakes up tomorrow a multimillionaire. Everyone wakes up tomorrow with their dream relationship. Everyone wakes up tomorrow healthy, wealthy and madly in love. Well, there goes all the value.

Kevin Palmieri:

Yeah, then it's going to be something else. It's going to be exactly something else would pop up.

Alan Lazaros:

The reason why it's meaningful, the reason why it's attractive, the reason why it's of value, is because it's rare. And that doesn't mean you can't do it. It just means it's obviously going to take some more of you than you know. If it, if it was easy, everybody would do it, and I, I. I want to encourage everyone to achieve their dreams. However, it lessens the value when you just blanket statement well, all you got to do is you know, think about it. So or write it down and um. I've been studying the self-improvement space very, very, very, very vividly for 10 years and the the more mature I become and the more I actually do achieve in the real world the dreams that I set years and years and years ago some, some when I was a kid, some when I was 26 the more I realize there's so much more to this than anyone is leading on when it comes to what they say on some talk show.

Kevin Palmieri:

Yeah, of course, just like if you gave, if Alan and I each had five minutes, somebody said, give me your best stuff. It's like it's probably going to suck. Honestly, because it's not going to be, I would literally probably say the thing I would start with is set goals that are embarrassingly small.

Alan Lazaros:

Nice.

Kevin Palmieri:

All the stuff would be. You'd get to the end and be like where's the gold? That is the gold. It's just covered in shit. But I'm telling you that's the gold. At least that's been the gold for me, All the stuff that looked like gold.

Alan Lazaros:

the second I picked it up, it dissolved into nothing yeah and the stuff that looked like shit and felt like shit was like oh, there's gold in here.

Kevin Palmieri:

We've been polishing that for a long time. We've been polishing it for a long time and eventually, you know, it starts to clear off. We're not going to talk too much about turds and poop here, but I don't know I, I just want. Here's the thing. Can I just say?

Alan Lazaros:

one really funny thing real quick. Sure, sure, sure. There's a movie from Kevin and I's childhood Called Tommy Boy.

Kevin Palmieri:

Oh, man, it's been a long time.

Alan Lazaros:

And there's this scene where he's like Well, you know, he's like. Well, the other brake pads, they got a guarantee on them. He's like well, I can take a dump in a box, slap a guarantee on it, it's a guaranteed piece of shit. I just thought that was hilarious.

Kevin Palmieri:

That ages us. That ages us for sure. This is my thought. I would much rather, let's say, you just tuned in. This is the first episode you've ever listened to and somehow you've gotten to the end of it. This is the first one you've ever listened to of NLU. Somehow you've gotten to the end of it. I would much rather you leave here frustrated, get curious and then learn something about yourself, than you leave here feeling super empowered and do nothing Every single episode. That's why I think some people have said you guys are negative and behind the scenes they said yeah.

Kevin Palmieri:

I was expecting more positivity and it seems super negative. It's like no, no, I'm just giving you the fucking truth Everybody else is. They're just giving you sunshine. They're not giving you the real stuff. They're not giving you the real stuff. They're not giving you the real stuff. I would rather you leave more accurate, even if it's while frustrated with us, because that's the content I needed. You know how many mentors have misled me?

Alan Lazaros:

Yeah, Most of them, Not all of them, but most of them the person Kevin's referring to anonymously said something along the lines of okay, well, this is really negative. Where's the empowering, positive stuff? That person I've coached them behind the scenes and I'll, of course, keep it anonymous. And again, that person is completely broke and they have not achieved pretty much any of their dreams and they're wanting to believe in a fairy tale that isn't real. And unfortunately they, I think, think, mistreated kev a bit and we of course were, you know, set a boundary and then they were kind about it and it's all good and we don't. If you believe what we believe, you believe in sincere effort toward goals and dreams, you believe life is inherently challenging at times, but it's, it can be meaningful and you can do it. You can do it, but it's not going to be easy. You can do it, but it's not going to be easy. And I know that person and the person that was disrespectful to you, that wants to believe in the fairy tale of, you know, charging $2, bucks when you've never even coached before. And then you ask, well, how many clients do you have? And she's like well, none. Well then, why do you, why do you keep telling everyone your coaching's worth 2500. She's like, well, because that's what I decided. It's like, okay, would you just that fall out of a hat? Or, and I'm like how many times have you coached? She's like well, I've never coached yet I haven't. It's okay. Why are you worth $2,500 an hour? Or why is your coaching worth $2,500 when I've been coaching for 10 years? And it's just, I have 26 clients. Where did that come from, right? So at the end of the day, kevin and I want to see you win in the real world. That's it. That's it. That's why we're here.

Alan Lazaros:

So if it seems negative, it's, it's not. It's what if? What if we grew up in a generation the millennials where we were taught that you can set anything, you can do anything you set your mind to and everybody gets a trophy? And what if that was actually not accurate? And what if? It's going to be way harder than you thought? And that's okay, because I think that some, some generations that are older I've talked to many of them they do think that, okay, we've, we've gotten a little delusional and and not everybody but it's time to get back to earth and it's time to. It's time to.

Alan Lazaros:

I know I've seen too many websites that say, hey, I've worked with so-and-so and we're and, and, and realize behind the scenes that they actually are absolutely struggling. And they're pretending to be on cloud nine and they're pretending to to have all the answers when in reality, they literally can't afford to pay their own bills. And I understand, I'm not trying to be unkind. I just really sincerely want everyone who listens to this show to actually and this will be the last thing I say I promise we were 500 episodes into the Hyperconscious podcast way back in the day and I met someone and started coaching them and they had listened to all 500 episodes.

Alan Lazaros:

And I came to Kevin behind the scenes and I said, dude, our podcast sucks. And he's like what do you mean? I said, dude, someone who listens to 500 episodes of our show should have more results than this person. This person had no results, zero, and that's not okay. And I came to Kevin. I said, dude, we're here to help people. If people listen to 500 episodes of this show, I want them to have something to show for it. If people listen to 500 episodes of this show, I want them to have something to show for it. And after that we started this thing, where we were more honest. And number two, we helped you take action at the end of every episode. So we had a good 500 episodes there, maybe 200 to 500. I'm not sure how long we did this, but we always said what's your, what's your key takeaway, what's the next meaningful action you're going to take?

Kevin Palmieri:

Because if you shut this podcast off and do nothing, nothing will manifest, and that I'm certain of action you're going to take, because if you shut this podcast off and do nothing, nothing will manifest, and that I'm certain of. So what's your takeaway?

Alan Lazaros:

then I love it. We're getting back to our grassroots baby. My meaningful takeaway would be ask yourself a question when might I be inaccurate? About myself, others or the world? What might be a blind spot? Maybe I'm really hard working and I think I'm lazy and maybe I need more r&r. Maybe I'm actually lazy and I need to actually work on self-discipline. And so, yeah, what's one thing that you might be inaccurate about? About yourself?

Kevin Palmieri:

this would be my. I'll give it, I'll give a tangible takeaway right after it. And again, I might say it in a funny way, I'm not trying to say it that way I was on a podcast interview one time and it was strange. I didn't know this was going to happen. But there was like four other guests, the host, myself and it was like a panel Didn't know that was going to happen. Super weird, weird as shit.

Kevin Palmieri:

And there was this older lady there. I think she was in her 70s and she was very spiritual and very sure, slash, potentially full of herself. And there there was a point where she was talking about how, yeah, you know, I, I have been, I've been broke most of my life. I never really made any money. I kind of always struggled. Something happened in my life and I had to help take care of somebody and I decided it was time for me to manifest the money. I was like, fuck, yeah, what does that mean? Started to go fund me. That's not real man. Other people gave you money To support.

Kevin Palmieri:

If you think that's what manifesting is, that's like saying, yeah, you know, we my wife and I, tara and I were really struggling. Recently. I decided to manifest a better life. I went and robbed a fucking bank. That's not manifesting, that's not. It's not, that's illegal, that's but. But if I said so, I sat down one day and I just I just started writing Like what do I fucking want my life to look like? Like what do I really want my life Like what is deeply meaningful to me? And I just sat there and I covered five pages and then I took those pages and I put them up on the wall in my office and every day I'd walk into the office and I'd look and be like, okay, what are five things I can do to get closer to that thing? Nice. And then I did that every day. And then as I got closer, it revealed more steps that I could take to get there in a different way. And I kept doing that stuff. And here we are, seven years later and things are completely different.

Alan Lazaros:

Nice.

Kevin Palmieri:

Love that.

Alan Lazaros:

Nice Love that.

Kevin Palmieri:

So again, I'm not saying that to be negative to that person, just for me. Me it was like you really believe that that's what manifesting was for you. That's not. You were lucky, there were people there to help you. Yeah, because if not, you'd be you might be.

Alan Lazaros:

They manifested that money and then donated it to you, right, right.

Kevin Palmieri:

So, and again, I'm I love donating money, so I'm not talking shit about that, but but it just for me, it was so highlighted to see it in real time and like it just kind of blew my mind. So that's my takeaway is, yeah, I want sit down, get clear on what you want and then get clear on whether or not you feel like you have the belief and the self-worth and the community to get there, and then work on the weaknesses. What are the weaknesses? You?

Kevin Palmieri:

know, I feel like I have a really good idea. I just don't know what to do with it. Cool Start there. Awesome Start there. Find somebody who does. Get a coach, get a mentor, whatever it is. So identify the strength. You might be really good at taking action. Maybe you're really good at visualizing. Let's identify what the opportunity for growth is, what's the opportunity for growth, and then let's double down on that. Nice you dig it.

Alan Lazaros:

I do very much.

Kevin Palmieri:

And if anyone wants help seriously achieving their goals and dreams, I'm scared for this episode to go up in the world.

Alan Lazaros:

There's certain episodes where I feel very vulnerable and concerned and this isn't one of them for me, but it is for Kev and the ones that I feel very comfortable with. Kev sometimes feels vulnerable and the ones he's very comfortable with.

Alan Lazaros:

Sometimes I feel vulnerable, I'm excited but I'm excited ultimately, if anyone does want to. I wrote achiever on my whiteboard. I am. I have a skill that I've developed over my whole life. I've always felt very confident in my ability to achieve external results and I'm an engineer and I can help you reverse engineer every step, and I mean that goals, priorities, metrics, habits, skills and identity work, and I'm doing that every single day. I mean six days a week, so I'll say six days a week, so it feels like every day because I'm in WhatsApp and still coaching even when I'm not coaching. But yeah, it's my favorite work in the world and if you want someone who's going to be there in your corner for an affordable price, that's sustainable yeah 2,500,.

Kevin Palmieri:

Right, you need 2,500 to call.

Alan Lazaros:

Well for you, kev. I'll bring it down to. I'll take 30% off the top. It's actually worth $55,000.

Kevin Palmieri:

Well, you got to click now too, if you wait 15 minutes, but you know it's always weird about that. You reload the website. It starts at 15 minutes again.

Alan Lazaros:

Yeah, yeah, yeah, isn't that a little strange? No, don't worry about that.

Kevin Palmieri:

Or like you go there the next day. It's like 15 minutes.

Alan Lazaros:

Don't even worry about that.

Kevin Palmieri:

Here it's $5 million, 80% off for you, 80% off for you 99% off If you click now, though.

Alan Lazaros:

Yeah, alright, kev and I are not about that. Seriously, it's affordable.

Kevin Palmieri:

It's very affordable.

Alan Lazaros:

Reach out please the first one's free, cool, first one's $0.

Kevin Palmieri:

First one is $0. Yeah, and there's no, you're not, it's not, you don't get like a thing at the end. It's like actually it's $500. Now you have to pay Because services.

Alan Lazaros:

Now you have to pay because services no, it's $0. It's actually $0.

Kevin Palmieri:

Next Level Live April 5th 2025. Super excited for that. Again, it's $47. The reason it's $47 is because I thought $97 was too much. That's the honest truth.

Alan Lazaros:

That is the truth. I said $97. He said no, man, it's got to be $47. Cool, it's got to more than that. That's okay, of course 47 it is Of course we will continue doing business that way forever Same.

Kevin Palmieri:

And I think that's just the way we are, because we want to be the people that we need and all that happy jazz. So, totally virtual, it's an all day event for $47. There's breakout. Uh, you can do it from the comfort of your own home, you can. I don't care if you have 12 people that live with you and you buy one ticket. Bring all 12 people, don't care awesome, love it.

Alan Lazaros:

Game the system if you can. It's all good and, yeah, we're excited about that. It's not gaming the system, since we're giving permission. So you have permission if you have you if you did bring invite a bunch of people over. Yeah, buy one ticket, like it's the Super Bowl, one ticket per computer, whatever.

Kevin Palmieri:

However many people, you can assemble a stadium for all that.

Alan Lazaros:

I don't care.

Kevin Palmieri:

That'd be really cool. That'd be a really cool thing to talk about. But yeah, we're excited. Amy's flying down from Canada, we're going to have a day and I'm very, very excited for that. So if you're interested, we'll have the link in the show notes for tickets. Anything else before we go, all good man Fire, 53 minutes on a 7.45 recording these late ones. Something happens to us and it's just like. Well, I'm already going to be up all night. I might as well record some, hopefully quality podcast episodes. All right, cool as always. We love you, we appreciate you. Grateful for each and every one of you At NLU. We have fans, we have family. We'll talk to you all tomorrow, stay.

Alan Lazaros:

Next.

Kevin Palmieri:

Level. Thanks for joining us for another episode of Next Level University. We love connecting with the Next Level family.

Alan Lazaros:

We mean it when we say family. If you ever need anything, please reach out to us directly. Everything you need to get a hold of us is in the show notes.

Kevin Palmieri:

Thank you again and we will talk to you tomorrow.

People on this episode

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Alan Lazaros

Host
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Kevin Palmieri

Host