Next Level University

The 3 Things That Hold Us Back From Success - Freestyle Friday (1999)

• Kevin Palmieri and Alan Lazaros

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In today’s episode of Next Level University, hosts Kevin Palmieri and Alan Lazaros discuss the harsh but necessary truths about goal-setting and discipline and why most people quit before they reach success. They explore the three biggest obstacles and share practical strategies for overcoming them. They also discuss the balance between hard work and celebration, ensuring that one’s goals align with one’s desired life.

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For more information, please check out our website at the link below. 👇

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Alan: https://www.instagram.com/alazaros88/

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Kevin: https://www.linkedin.com/in/kevin-palmieri-5b7736160/
Alan: https://www.linkedin.com/in/alanlazarosllc/

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Show notes:
(4:01) The bigger the goal, the bigger the struggle
(8:16) Why so few people achieve their goals
(12:29) The loneliness of big goals
(15:27) The power of thinking long-term
(19:39) Setting goals that align with your values
(22:40) At NLU, we want you to win! So, we're giving tools and resources to ensure your success. Join our Monthly Meet-up every first Thursday of the month at 5 PM. https://bit.ly/4dPeTiD
(26:50) Delaying gratification and the reward paradox
(35:20) Celebration Vs. Distraction—what actually works?
(42:50) Why growing up changes how we see success
(44:31) Outro 

Send a text to Kevin and Alan!

Kevin Palmieri:

The process. It's the same thing. It's right now I'm not suffering that badly with my diet, but when I get leaner and when I have abs and when I look good on the beach quote-unquote I understand why most people don't get there, because the process of getting there is 99% of it. And then eventually you're like oh wow, I have abs now. Then it's okay, what do I have to do to keep them? Wait, I can't. I still can't have pizza it's okay.

Alan Lazaros:

What do I have to do to keep him wait? I can't, I still can't have pizza. It's, it's just really smart. And I know you are saying like that sounds terrible, but he's gonna be wealthy and he, you know, I think it's smart, it's just smart. So figure out where you are in that whole spectrum and and figure out what you need. But yeah, if you want short-term pleasure constantly, your long-term goals will not happen, in my honest opinion.

Kevin Palmieri:

Welcome to Next Level University. I'm your host, Kevin Palmieri.

Alan Lazaros:

And I'm your co-host, Alan Lazarus.

Kevin Palmieri:

At NLU, we believe in a heart-driven but no BS approach to holistic self-improvement for dream chasers.

Alan Lazaros:

Our goal with every episode is to help you level up your life, love, health and wealth.

Kevin Palmieri:

We bring you a new episode every single day on topics like confidence, self-belief, self-worth, self-awareness, relationships, boundaries, consistency, habits and defining your own unique version of success.

Alan Lazaros:

Self-improvement in your pocket, every day, from anywhere, completely free.

Kevin Palmieri:

Welcome to Next Level University, Next Level Nation. Welcome back to another episode of Next Level University, where we help you level up your life, your love, your health and your wealth. Today for episode number 1,999. Getting there. Getting there before we call it quits. One more episode and this whole show's done Freestyle.

Alan Lazaros:

Friday.

Kevin Palmieri:

I was hoping. How cool would it be if Freestyle Friday or if the 2000th episode fell on Freestyle Friday. That'd be pretty cool. But this is episode number 1,999. It's not the way the cookie crumbled. It is not the way the cookie crumbled. It is not the way the cookie crumbled and it is Freestyle Friday. So we're just going to GM out on something. We don't know what it is yet. Whatever we're going through, whatever we're thinking of, whatever it may be, hey. Yeah.

Alan Lazaros:

How hard do you think it is to achieve your goals and dreams?

Kevin Palmieri:

That's what you want to talk about, kind of. I think it's. Somebody asked me on a podcast the other day. They said do you think you can succeed without struggle? And I said my belief, this is my belief that your struggle is directly connected to the size of your goals. So if you want to start a podcast, that's it. If your goal is to start a podcast, you're going to struggle less than somebody who wants to make it to 10 episodes. If you want to make it to 10 episodes, you're going to struggle less. Somebody wants to get to 100, and I kind of kind of think about it that way.

Kevin Palmieri:

It's super hard. It's super hard because there's there's there's stuff you got to learn. There's stuff you got to to learn. There's stuff you've got to unlearn. There's external stuff you've got to practice. There's internal stuff that you've got to practice, and one of those is going to be harder for you because you're not naturally designed for it and that's probably the place that you're going to get stuck slash, probably the place you don't want to work on. If you're really good at speaking, you're going to want to speak, but if you're really struggling with setting boundaries, you're going to say I'll speak my way out of this. No, no, you won't. You're not going to speak your way out of this. You can speak your way somewhere. But yeah, that's why it's so hard. I don't necessarily think it's just hard because of the external stuff anymore. I think because when you get to an external level, your internal self has to catch up, and if it doesn't, you just end up miserable, and that's a whole. I mean that creates its own set of problems.

Kevin Palmieri:

So your idea is that the higher the goal is, the more the struggle I would say that is a fairly safe blanket statement for almost anything I would say you want to? You want to lose five pounds? Cool, love that for you. That's probably going to be easier than losing 25 pounds. It's not probably going to be.

Alan Lazaros:

It's definitely going to be right, so that's yeah, that's probably going to be easier than losing 25 pounds. It's not probably going to be. It's definitely going to be.

Kevin Palmieri:

Right, so that's my. Now. Then the question becomes well, if somebody weighs 150 pounds and they want to lose 5 pounds, versus somebody who weighs 350 pounds who wants to lose 25 pounds, I mean, obviously you can get into the minutia of that.

Alan Lazaros:

Yeah, but the 350-pound person who wants to lose 5 pounds, that's easier than them losing 25, easier than them losing 50. But yeah, it gets confusing when you compare apples and oranges.

Kevin Palmieri:

Yeah yeah, Real quick. Can I say something real quick? Of course I'm fired up today on a Good. We're recording at 10 am. I do feel like 10 am is like a good time for me. Nice, I don't want to do it though anymore, ever again.

Alan Lazaros:

But if we have to, we will.

Kevin Palmieri:

And again, it's a privilege not to have to jump on camera before 11 am. I said this on a podcast the other day. I said this is what my new bullshit radar is. If somebody comes to you and says I have the exact solution for the exact problem you're going through and it works for everyone, I immediately start questioning things.

Kevin Palmieri:

Because how could you? You don't know me, you don't know my internal stuff. How could you? How could you possibly? Oh, you're going to teach me how to make 10 times more money. Do you know what kind of money blocks I have? Do you know what my experience with money has been in the past? Do you know where my self-worth is? Do you know where my skills are? Do you know what my competencies are? Do you know what my quote-unquote expertise is? No, you don't know any of that, you're just saying that. So that's something that I don't want to say is new. But if you come across somebody who says they have the exact answers, if they intentionally create a problem for you to focus on and then say they have the exact answer to that problem, you're probably getting hoodwinked Most likely Not all the time, but that's my. I gotta cover my candle because it's burning my throat.

Kevin Palmieri:

You got a candle on. I have a little Girl Scouts candle going Also. I know it's not good to burn, but it smells so freaking good. What's going on in your brain today?

Alan Lazaros:

You feel very introspective today.

Alan Lazaros:

Yeah, I've been thinking a lot about yeah, there's so much going on in here. I've been thinking a lot about yeah, there's so much going on in here. I've been thinking a lot about the statistics around goals and how few people hit them and how sad that makes me. But then again, maybe not everyone cares as much as I do about goals. I'm sure they don't. Yeah, I, I don't.

Alan Lazaros:

Uh, and this is something we can talk about. I think I'm probably uncomfortable to talk about it, but I'll never forget january 1st. We did a meetup I think it was the fourth, but it was for january, like the beginning of the year. This is in 2024, 2024. So last year, and I researched and again I'm sure the stats change based on the study, based on the article, and they said that only 4% of people, so four out of every hundred, have written goals and of those 4%, only 8% of those people ever achieve them. And I found that really alarming and probably like is that possible? You know, doesn't it seem like it would be more than that? Because when we're kids, we all want to get our own place and get in a relationship, we want to get a car, we want to have a job, a career, and we do all achieve a lot of those right.

Alan Lazaros:

I mean, what percentage of the population is married? So I actually don't know the answer. We could look it up. But the point is that I think we do achieve a lot of our goals. I just don't think we achieve the really high ones.

Kevin Palmieri:

Well, how many of those goals are because of social pressure? That's always my thought is there has to be a graph somewhere in the world where the older you get, the harder it is to learn how to swim and the harder it is to learn how to ride a bike because, number one, you do it less. But when you're a kid you're depending on what your experience is. You have a bike and you try to ride a bike and your friends ride bikes. So if you don't, if you don't ride bikes and you don't know how, you don't fit in. Your friends want to go to the water park or you want to go to the lake or the pond or whatever, and you don't know how to swim, you don't fit in. So I think same thing, like most people as an adult.

Alan Lazaros:

If you do have a really high goal, you don't fit in. That's the. That's what you're talking about. No, no, it's just because when you, when you started a podcast, you immediately don't fit in right because the majority of your friends at the time are working their nine to five or whatever it is.

Alan Lazaros:

I don't think there's anything wrong with a nine to five either. I I understand why. I understand why at the beginning of an aspiring entrepreneurial journey. I understand why the nine to five gets shit on. I do because it feels like it's an l. It feels like it's an L. It feels like, okay, you go to a job. That quote, and I don't agree with this, I'm just saying it. You go to a job you hate to afford a home you can't afford to live in. You know that whole thing. If the alternative was better, more people would take it. I'm not saying that being an entrepreneur is not better for some people. What I'm saying is, if you have, if you're out there watching or listening and you have a nine to five that you even remotely enjoy, where you have benefits and a steady pay like that's great and you can grow your career that way.

Alan Lazaros:

I remember when I was in corporate. I didn't like it, but I also appreciated it. It was really. It was really something and I think in some ways I do actually think I was destined to be an entrepreneur. So it all depends on the type of person. I think you have to. You have to design your life depends on the type of person. I think you have to design your life based on the type of person you actually are, not the type of person you wish you were. I think for the longest time I wished I could be normal and that was never going to fucking work for me.

Kevin Palmieri:

I think people get shamed into being entrepreneurs. It's like, oh, you're working so hard to make somebody else rich. It's like, yeah, no, that's fair. A lot of people are doing that, but I think the certainty and the security and the safety net of that is better for most people than okay, cool, you're working. You're essentially working to make sure that you don't lose everything If you're also not working to make someone else rich.

Alan Lazaros:

You can work to make yourself rich.

Kevin Palmieri:

Well, I know, but just that 401k you can invest. Yeah, I know, but I think that quote's bullshit too.

Alan Lazaros:

I agree.

Kevin Palmieri:

Yeah, I mean I, I think it's just very you can easily get wealthy in corporate if you do it right.

Alan Lazaros:

And again, that's some financial stuff.

Kevin Palmieri:

What do you think the what are? From your perspective? What are the three biggest reasons people don't accomplish their goals?

Alan Lazaros:

I think social pressure's big. The moment you set a really big goal, you're pretty much the things that are required of you to go and achieve. That automatically take you away from most normal things. So that's number one is. Well, number one would be self-belief, because you won't set a high goal. That's that you actually intend on unless you have self-belief. So number one is definitely self-belief. How much do you believe in yourself that that is always going to be number one. And then number two is, I think, the influences you have in your life.

Alan Lazaros:

If you I call it a five pointed star, one of my clients, she has the most powerful five pointed star I've ever seen. She has Kevin in her corner, she has Amelia in her corner, she has me in her corner and again, I know I'm in that. So it's like you pretentious asshole, uh, but the truth of the matter is is that there's nothing. She can come to us and say, hey, I'm going to go do this thing where we're not going to be like, absolutely, here's how you do it. Let's rock and roll, let's do it. Let's go Absolutely A hundred percent. You want to lose 20 pounds? You want to. What do you want to do? You want to do a fitness competition, whatever she just, and she has no other friends. And if she's listening which she might be, by the way I'm sorry that you have no other friends, but the truth is that's what it takes to do what you're doing, and this person is going to be very wealthy, going to be very successful statistically speaking, she already is doing very, very well.

Alan Lazaros:

But she goes and spends time with people and she feels alone because they're all talking about shit she has no interest in. And not only does she have no interest in, she actually has to not think about those things. She has to not. She kind of runs her own life and her goals are so fucking high that whenever she goes to dinner with her family or her friends, they're all talking about what's happening on this TV show or that, this in sports, and she's just like, oh, you guys like really hang out a lot and all she does is grind, not all, but most of the time. And and the truth is she will have an enviable life.

Alan Lazaros:

But behind the scenes she's also very lonely and she she also, uh, dated this guy and he was at some golf tournament and she wouldn't mind me sharing this it's anonymous anyway, but like she's having trouble talking to this guy because he's such a he's just such a fucking normal guy. And she's like, well, what do you think about this? And it's like, honestly, it's not going to work because he's not. There's nothing in alignment, you know, yeah, you could make it work, but you're already out. I can tell you're out, you're not interested. And so she, she sent a respectful message. Hey, it's been real. I appreciate you. They only went on a date or something like that. They were just talking for a little while. But the first thing is self-belief. The second thing is just massive social loneliness. Like you and I weren't lonely because we had each other. Yeah, we hung out every like all the time man we lifted together.

Alan Lazaros:

We had goals in common. We both were bodybuilders, we both lifted weights almost every fucking day, we both were podcasters and then we went and interviewed people who were also dream chasers. So we found a way to not be lonely and then we were both in, you know, relationships that Maybe weren't great for us but kept us not lonely. So I think number two is just massive loneliness. And then what's the third reason people don't achieve their dreams? So the first one, self-bel.

Alan Lazaros:

Second one is the wrong influences. The third one would be the third one would be you're not willing to sacrifice the now for something greater later. You're not willing to sacrifice the now for something greater later, which is it's a short-term time perspective. So, mathematically speaking, anyone out there watching or listening could start building wealth and you could invest money every month and you could be a millionaire in 40 years. Mathematically speaking, there's very few people that couldn't do that if they wanted. Mathematically and again, I know how pretentious that can sound, but like, mathematically that's accurate, but very few people are actually going to do that because you have to sacrifice a lot of monthly things that you okay if you get rid of Netflix, if you get rid of, but who wants to get rid of Netflix?

Kevin Palmieri:

Not me.

Alan Lazaros:

Yeah, exactly I have.

Alan Lazaros:

Netflix, so that's kind of. The other thing is. The third one is basically, you think, short term, which almost guarantees that you don't make long term investments that long that actually pay off long term. And I always use the example of someone I coached in the past. She never made more than 20 an hour up until the point that I spent time with her and she'll be a multi-millionaire, mathematically speaking. She's almost there already and it's just. It's just the the power of compounding over time with investments. And if you were to look at all the millionaires I think there's 60 million millionaires or something globally right now and if you look at them, like all of them are investors, almost all of them. Obviously there's some rappers and stuff like that, but like the majority of them have invested money. I would say at least 80% of them have invested money to build that wealth.

Alan Lazaros:

You're not going to like earn your way to wealth, and I think that's a big misconception. You can earn your way to wealth, and I think that's a big misconception. You can earn your way to wealth like Jennifer Lawrence, for example right, one of the highest paid actresses in history. She's a multimillionaire from earning it through actual income. But that's the minority of the minority, of the minority of the minority. I was on with a actress yesterday who's far older than that, who's been trying to be an A-lister her whole life, and you know it's. I asked her. I said how many people are going for A-list level revenue in acting versus how many people act? And it's the 1% of 1% of 1% of 1% of 1%, right, but so? So number one is self-belief. Number two is your influences dictate so much. And number three is if you think short-term, you're never going to stumble upon wealth. But you can invest your way to wealth. You really can.

Kevin Palmieri:

I think the first thing is lack of clarity, lack of self-awareness, because naturally right, because I think a lot of us set goals that aren't right for us, so it would actually be doing us harm to accomplish them. Yeah, that's fair. There's like something. There's something Brandon wouldn't mind me sharing this and we've Brandon's on the team. Brandon's the man. Also. The kids run a mile every day for like three years straight.

Alan Lazaros:

He won't tell a fucking soul about it.

Kevin Palmieri:

Brandon, if you're listening, you are listening. Strong work, brother. Sicko brother Love it, strong work. Him. And I had a conversation one time and he said I have a podcast and I want to be way more successful than you guys. I was like cool man, I love that goal for you. I don't know how to I can get you to where we've gotten, but I don't know necessarily how to take you beyond that yet, because I haven't done it. And then we just I was like let's get clear on what you value as a human. You're going to have kids, right? You want to have a family? Yeah, man for sure. You want to be at their sporting events and you want to be at their parent-teacher conferences and their recitals and you want to be home for dinner every night. He's like dude, brother, you don't want this. You're gonna be fucking miserable. I went to 9 o'clock.

Alan Lazaros:

Last night. At the time he said he wanted to be Gary V right.

Kevin Palmieri:

Yeah, but bigger, and Brandon, but bigger, but bigger yeah.

Alan Lazaros:

Brandon wouldn't mind us sharing this. Brandon, shout out to you, brother, he listens to NLU everyday. You're the absolute man, but at the end of the day, I think that's a phase.

Kevin Palmieri:

We all go through a phase. It's just not right. Yeah, don't dedicate your life to a phase, because you're going to regret that 100%. And I said this on a podcast the other day. I said, as I've grown and learned more as a coach yes, a coach's job is to help you accomplish your goals. Yep, 100%.

Kevin Palmieri:

A great coach's job is to help you figure out whether or not the goals are aligned in the first place, yeah, 100% because if they're not aligned and they help you accomplish the goals, you both fucked up, kind of you just dedicated your life, or five years or ten years, to something that you actually didn't want and wasn't right for you.

Alan Lazaros:

You know that actress that she's in divergent you talked about her woodley, you know she's been acting. I mean, I kid you not, she's been acting for 28 years. How old is she? 20, that's what I'm saying she started when she was like five. She younger than us, dude, she was. She's been acting for 28 years and she's younger than us but and she's one of the most successful actresses in history. But I bet you that only started in the last maybe eight years. We didn't know her name eight years ago.

Kevin Palmieri:

No chance the first time I ever heard of her and again, I'm not like I think diversion was the first one for me the um. The fault in our stars, I believe, was the first time I ever heard of her, but I don't't know when that came out.

Alan Lazaros:

But I remember when I heard that I was like that's so powerful. You've been acting since.

Kevin Palmieri:

You were like six or five or something Ryan Gosling and Justin Timberlake and somebody else they were in like the Mickey Mouse Club when they were like five. They've been doing this for a long, long, long time.

Alan Lazaros:

It's really important to share that stuff. It's really important. I mean, we're only eight years in to podcasting and the majority of our listeners out there watching or listening it comes later, it's not. There are some people. I had someone reach out to me today. I'll actually anonymously share this. I think this is really powerful. This was a very respectful message. Hey man, would I be able to share something I'm struggling with and get your insight on the situation? I want to be respectful of the fact that you have clients who pay you for this. So, if not, I totally understand. That meant the world to me, that's not an entitled ask.

Kevin Palmieri:

Shout out to you, whoever you are.

Alan Lazaros:

I just don't know who else to come to, and I trust your opinion. I said you this the very first personal development, self-improvement that I was exposed to, that that really struck me in a new way was Tony Robbins Ted talk. And in that Ted talk, what was he? 49 or something. And, by the way way, I didn't see that ted talk until five years after it was done. So you and I didn't even I mean eight years ago, 10 years ago for me. So let's actually look this up real quick because I think this is really powerful.

Alan Lazaros:

Nlu listener, what is happening? I just wanted to jump in here and let you know if you want to get to the next level faster. We have a free virtual monthly meetup at the first Thursday of every month. You can connect with like-minded people and become a bigger part of this amazing global community. The link to register will be in the show notes. How old is Tony now? I think he's 65. How old is Tony now? I think he's 65. I met, I found Tony Robbins quote unquote found his work 10 years ago. So I didn't even know that man existed, except for Shallow Hal, which I saw when I was a kid.

Kevin Palmieri:

Yeah, but you didn't know. No, I didn't know.

Alan Lazaros:

So I didn't even know Tony Robbins existed until he was 55 years old, so he was 55 when I first found his work. I think that that's the most misunderstood thing about goals. Most of the goals that we set, the dreams that we set, takes way longer than anyone realizes to actually achieve them without massive messy action or whatever we were talking about yesterday.

Kevin Palmieri:

Now I actually think you do need to take massive messy action, especially if you want, like, really, really, really high goals.

Alan Lazaros:

But I think that's very misunderstood and I think self-awareness is where I try to start now with my coaching. With my coaching, let me be as clear as possible. What we do in my coaching is we set up the goals, we set up the priorities, the metrics, the habits and the skills, and then, once those are in alignment, my client goes and tries to do it, and then they come back and go perfect, now it's now, it's identity, now let's go. Why? Why isn't it happening? Because once you have the goals, metrics and again, this is going to sound my skillset, my, the one thing that I'm really good at, is I can reverse engineer the goal goals, priorities, metrics, habits, skills and identity. That's what I've got it broken down to.

Alan Lazaros:

Once you have the first, what it goals metric goals, priorities, metrics, habits, skills once you have the first five in alignment, you're going to realize you don't do it. Once, there, you tell me your goal, I'll give you the exact runway and then you won't do it. Why? Because it's not aligned with who you are. Yeah, right, or you'll do it, and then it'll be like well, how long do I have to do this forever, right? Or 10 years, 15 years, 20 years? So I think that there's there's awareness issues around self-awareness of do you actually want to be like that, are you actually like that, are you actually wired that way? Because there are people in Kevin and I's life in the past that wanted to be entrepreneurs because it sounds fun and sounds sexy.

Alan Lazaros:

That now you and I would never suggest that no, no no yeah because there's other people that it's like listen, you have to be. I mean, emilia, you have to be like, you just have to, and you're never going to be fulfilled, otherwise you should be, you know, uh go ahead.

Kevin Palmieri:

It's. I think it's so hard because you're always essentially in pursuit. You're always. I understand why it's so hard to accomplish goals because even the client you used at the beginning of this episode they work all day and they do deeply meaningful work Six days a week. Right, they work all day. They're lonely as shit. They're struggling with their family Definitely Sounds terrible. It sounds yeah. Now they're fulfilled, Gorgeous.

Alan Lazaros:

In great shape. Sure sure, sure Lots of wealth being built. Sure Tons of credibility. Definitely a high value woman.

Kevin Palmieri:

But the process it's the same thing. It's right now I'm not suffering anymore that badly with my diet, but when I get leaner and when I have abs and when I look good on the beach quote unquote I'm not going to be on the beach, but when I look good on the beach quote unquote I understand why most people don't get there because the process of getting there is 99% of it, and then eventually you're like, oh wow, I have abs now.

Kevin Palmieri:

Then it's okay. What do I have to do to keep them? Wait, I still can't have pizza. Nope, actually, now you can have pizza less than before. Now it's a little bit different. Obviously it's different with wealth, because if you're accumulating it it's different. But I understand it's like how long do I have to delay results that that? I think that's what makes it so hard. The bigger your goals are, I think, the longer you have to delay results, and I understand why that sucks, because I think Kev.

Alan Lazaros:

I came across this photo recently. Imagine if I dropped dead today.

Kevin Palmieri:

You know how fucking sad I would be. That I did all the work and got none of the results from 50 years from today well, uh, and again, I'm not laughing about that mortality.

Alan Lazaros:

Again, kev you're, you're playful with mortality yeah, real quick, I just want to. This is in my fitness modeling days. I look like my life is great six pack. I'm showing it to the camera for those of you on youtube like ripped for sure and that's just me.

Alan Lazaros:

I remember For sure, and that's just me. I remember that morning. I mean, that's just a morning for me at the time and I was in prep and I saw that photo. I was like oh God, and it's like, honestly, I don't know if I'm willing to do what's necessary to to get back there and to have that be my normal.

Alan Lazaros:

I remember fitness was a full time job Fitness modeling, fitness coaching, fitness competitions my whole world was fitness. So back to what you just said about how upset I would be this is the weird duality that I think is of value. I remember there was someone in my life who I was actually kind of offended at the time when they said this to me and they said, well, I really hope you don't get hit by a bus. And I was like what do you mean? They're like well, because all this work you're doing is for way in the future. And I remember thinking and this was after my car accident, this is after I reevaluated my life. This is, this is after I re-evaluated my life. This is, this is when I was most aligned, I was the most fulfilled. I had ever been up to that point.

Alan Lazaros:

I think I was like 28, 27,. She's like wow, I really hope you don't get hit by a bus because you used to have all this fun and now all you do is work. And I know what she was trying to do. She was trying to like I think, in some ways trying to bully me into into being more fun again. That's my truth, but I remember saying honestly the truth is from my perspective. Again, that would have been sad before. I'm fulfilled as fuck. Now I'm living my best life. This is what I want to do, so I understand that you and I are in different spots with that, but, dude, I would regret living any other way. That's how I know this is the path for me.

Kevin Palmieri:

Same same, yeah, but I would be very upset if I got hit by a bus. Well, I think I would be too, but I'd be super pissed. Yeah, yeah, shit waited like 30. Probably should have looked both ways.

Alan Lazaros:

You know I'm kidding, but that's the paradoxical question everybody is how do you integrate the now and the day-to-day life that you want with your goals? And that's very difficult. Person one, person two. Person two. Person three Person one sacrifices everything in the present to get to their long-term goals. Person two doesn't have any long-term goals, so they get to do whatever the fuck they want in the present, but they probably are a little ashamed of it because they're not reaching any goals. Okay, person three integrates the day-to-day life that they want with some long-term goals that are aligned with that day-to-day life. Person three is the one that kevin and I are suggesting here.

Alan Lazaros:

Yeah, for sure, and and because person, I think that I actually am the type of person who is person one and wants to be person one, like the very. There's a couple things I'm not willing to give up an hour of r&r with emilia, all that kind of stuff, but there's very little. I'm more. I care about goals more than I care about day-to-day process facts. That's just the way I'm wired. I think you're the opposite, um.

Kevin Palmieri:

I am, I like little. There's a piece, so we have an opportunity to get a, a really big client, the biggest client in NLU history, and there's a little piece of me that wants to say dude, let me have a little celebration, give me something, just give me a little something. Give me a little treat of some sort, because I want to Come get my TV.

Kevin Palmieri:

I want to reinforce and be rewarded in the short term for all the hard work I'm doing. There is a little piece of me that I don't know if that'll ever go away, nor do I know if it should.

Alan Lazaros:

I mean, that's what-? Signed by five by nine, signed eight by ten. No, no, five by nine make it an eight by ten, dude, I don't know. Minimum.

Kevin Palmieri:

But that's, I mean that's. I feel like I have. And again you know know I have a nice car and I'm not saying I'm I'm needy of much. I'm very blessed and very grateful and very privileged. I've worked really hard to have a good life probably should do something I think I should, but I was scared that you tell me to fuck off no, no, no, you make me sound really bad, no, no, no, not good, not that, not that. Okay, I would definitely.

Alan Lazaros:

I've never once done that you have.

Kevin Palmieri:

Not that I've never told we were in California on the Pacific Coast Highway and I was like, dude, what we should do is go get a really nice dinner tonight to lock this in. And you're like that's the dumbest shit I've ever heard in my life. I said that playfully. Let's on the side of the road.

Alan Lazaros:

Which you loved. That was fire.

Kevin Palmieri:

Yeah, that was great, but, and again, no, alan, no, no, no. I don't really mean that, but there was a little piece of me that's like. I know that's not the way you think. I know you get it because you and I have had enough conversations.

Alan Lazaros:

Yeah, and I'm not. I think you should do something, I think you should go to. You can't get a new client and then get a new car.

Kevin Palmieri:

I'm thinking like just two new cars. I'm not asking for much.

Alan Lazaros:

I was thinking an 83 inch, two new cars and a giraffe and a giraffe and a giraffe. That's always next on the list.

Kevin Palmieri:

A little celebration, but I think that's an important piece too is yeah, I think self-awareness is the start, because if I, I would resent okay last. You got a call in a couple minutes, so I want to make sure I get you off here on time. We are going to record our two. I spit all over my laptop my apologies, laptop. We're going to record our 2000th episode tomorrow. I'm dieting. Big UFC on the day this, the day 2000 drops is on a Saturday. Big UFC on Taron already said like, do you want me to get a cake? It's like I don't know. No, I, I don't really know. I'm dieting. Do I let it ride for one day? Because I'm not prepping for a fucking bodybuilding, I'm just dieting because I want to. Don't know what do you want to do?

Alan Lazaros:

Don't know yet. But see, this is the philosophical discussion of the only reason we're getting the big client and hitting the 2,000 episodes is because of the work we're putting in, so you can't step off the gas, but you can celebrate. That's the thing.

Kevin Palmieri:

How many times have I celebrated before?

Alan Lazaros:

I don't know?

Kevin Palmieri:

Is my discipline increasing and I'm losing sight of how much I enjoy celebration? Do I require less celebration than I once did? I think it's a mixture of all those things.

Alan Lazaros:

On my birthday. Emilia asked me. She said what do you want to do for your birthday? I said I want to get a bunch of food and watch a movie, and we watched. I told you about this this was not 36, I think this was 35. All the Lord of the Rings, all the Hobbit movies.

Kevin Palmieri:

All Hobbit movies.

Alan Lazaros:

Extended editions. Four hours each, right 12 hour day. So three times four 12, 12 hour day and I. She fell asleep. This is, we have an 83 inch. I'm very grateful, awesome.

Kevin Palmieri:

It's about to be mine.

Alan Lazaros:

Yeah, it's about to be Kev's. We'll see. No, seriously, I think it will be. But the beginning was awesome and the idea is awesome. But then my eyes are twitching.

Kevin Palmieri:

Well see, that's not it for me.

Alan Lazaros:

No, I know it's not. I'm just saying I know I know the celebration. I think the anticipation of the celebration is part of it. You have to have something to look forward to.

Kevin Palmieri:

I think it's really important. I think you should design that into your life. I think that's what I'm feeling is like. The happiness and joy and success and feeling the accomplishment is one thing Nice but for me I like to emotionalize it with something.

Alan Lazaros:

Yeah. So, what do you want? Whatever you want, whatever I want, not whatever you want. You heard that, hell yeah.

Kevin Palmieri:

You'll see George the giraffe on my Instagram.

Alan Lazaros:

Make sure you're following me there.

Kevin Palmieri:

I don't know I think that's I don't know what I want. I don't know. I think that's I don't know what I want. I don't know what I want. It might be. I mean, I think Saturday is a good example. I might get dominoes and watch the fights. I'll watch seven hours of fights on Saturday. It'll be awesome. I won't regret that even a little bit.

Alan Lazaros:

Nice.

Kevin Palmieri:

Right, I won't regret that even a little bit, but that's the frame I want to go in with is will I regret this tomorrow?

Alan Lazaros:

Last thing, this is the know thyself. That's what this is Kemet Noske, this is Kev knowing. See, there's a big difference between I want to do this diet so that I can eat a bunch at the end versus I'm going to do this to hit my goals, to have a meaningful life and to grow and contribute, and I want to Mario Kart, boost this with a little celebration. There's a big difference in mentality there. Maybe that's another episode, but if Kevin's goal was to celebrate every time we hit a milestone, we would go broke, because the sacrifice we open this episode with, the higher your goal, the higher the struggle, right, if you don't learn how to embrace the struggle and enjoy the struggle and have the struggle be a meaningful pursuit, not only are you not going to get the goal, but you're going to. It's almost like if Kev was the type of person who wanted to celebrate every little victory, you automatically wouldn't build toward the actual ultimate goal. But there is a way to throw that Mario Kart booster in there for sure.

Alan Lazaros:

And in the past I think that I didn't understand to the extent that I do now, because I don't want to pretend I didn't understand anything, obviously, but I do get that we all have. We're all wired a different way. Some people really do need more carrots along the way, for lack of better phrasing. I don't. I mean, there's certain things I need, and but it's not much. I always used to say, if you learn to need nothing, you'll have everything. What I meant is, when you need nothing, you you can create whatever you want, because you you can keep expenses low and you can suffer and all that kind of stuff. And I again, I I grew up without cable dude. We didn't have much. I was broke as a joke in high school and in college and all I did was fucking grind and partied, partied a lot, that's grinding Partied a lot, that's grinding.

Alan Lazaros:

Well, it wasn't. But I remember for college, for example, there was very little reward. I mean, it was all just pure suffering. Computer engineering was fucking terrible and it was. I was broke as hell. I had to like go to New Hampshire to get and I was like it was just terrible. But at the end, all of a sudden you make all this money and you're in corporate and all of a sudden now it's like 65, 85, 105, 125, all the way to 180. And all of a sudden you have all this money now. For me it felt like overnight. It wasn't overnight, it was obviously an accumulation.

Alan Lazaros:

But I remember when I had money, I still had a $5,000 car. I still had a $500 rent apartment. I lived on a lake with my girlfriend, courtney at the time, and I just had. I just invested it all because I don't need much. When you learn not to need much, you you really do have an advantage. Seriously, I have a client right now who Shout out to you I know you're listening he's a multi-millionaire and he's a. He's about to buy another business and he drives a 2007 it's. It's just really smart. And I know you are saying like that sounds terrible, but he's going to be wealthy and he, you know, I think it's smart, it's just smart.

Alan Lazaros:

So figure out where you are in that whole spectrum and figure out what you need. But yeah, if you want short-term pleasure constantly, your long-term goals will not happen, in my honest opinion.

Kevin Palmieri:

I think my next level lesson for this is you've got to know yourself, and there is no such thing as you don't ever know yourself. You know yourself more, but you're changing and you're evolving and your awareness of yourself is changing and evolving. I require far less celebration than I used to, but in a way now the celebrations I have are far more meaningful. So it's less, but it means more. Yeah, and there's there's something to that.

Kevin Palmieri:

When I say celebration, I'm literally saying, like I want to buy like a hundred dollar speaker, like I need a new soundbar, like I'm not that's. I'm literally saying that not what it, what it used to be, is like something. It would probably be something crazy. I don't want to spend thousands of dollars. No, no, how much is a new fucking sound bar? 100 bucks, 150 bucks, like. That's what I'm talking about, but that has changed over time. And that's far more for me about the utility of when I do R&R and when I do watch UFC. I want to make it as positive of an experience as possible, because there is far less fun than there used to be in terms of like external. I mean this is fun, but you know what I mean. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Kevin Palmieri:

It's not as fun and frolicky as life used to be, but that's. I want the stuff that matters Like. I don't want to. I don't want to have to skimp. If I want pre-workout, I want to buy pre-workout. Yeah, 100%, because that's directly connected to the gym, which is connected to my self-esteem through fitness.

Alan Lazaros:

Maybe we do another episode on this, but this is what it is to grow up. This is what it is to grow up. This is what it is to grow up. I think about that all the time. Your life's not about you like it used to be I. We we're about to have, we have a 17 person team, potentially one more person, and it's I think about this all the time. It's like dude, it doesn't, it doesn't really matter what you want it's kind of yeah like and, yeah, it's great.

Alan Lazaros:

Imagine having 17. That's a dream. That was a. That's a dream come true. And every day, it doesn't matter if you want to get on, the call you, if you have payroll, you have no choice like show the fuck up, let's go. That's part of that's why when you have children and I don't yet, but I think that it changes you just I mean even just pets. It's not about me. This family requires me to be a man. I can't like fuck off like I used to. You know what I mean. I think there's something to that and I think we can talk about you know. The boys are gone, dude.

Kevin Palmieri:

I mean it's over right, I still got a little boy in me.

Alan Lazaros:

man, I'm still a little bro in there somewhere, same and I think that there's a balance between play and like you got to keep the magic. I'm with you. But let's be real. I mean as a business owner. You cannot, kevin, can't just like oh, got a new client, let me you know. You need that money to reinvest in the company, let me ball out.

Kevin Palmieri:

Yeah, I'm going to go to the casino. And I think that's the paradox right. Just because Kev can buy a new car when this client comes in doesn't mean he should. And if the lines of the person who enjoys walking Will get a lot further than the person who is just walking to a destination, it's like Nice. Interesting.

Alan Lazaros:

My next level lesson is Check in with self-belief, check in with your influences and check in with Time perspective. And thank you for listening. This is. This has been awesome.

Kevin Palmieri:

This has been awesome. This has been awesome. We're going to try to come up with something special for tomorrow's episode. We don't know what we're going to do yet, so we're going to have to Two thou.

Kevin Palmieri:

Two, thou. It's the biggest milestone we've ever had, and now we're going to celebrate in thousands. I don't think about hundreds anymore, I don't know. I mean, yeah, it's cool, it's awesome, very grateful. 3,000, I think, is the next milestone. So let's get to 2,000 first, because that's actually going to be the end of the show. Very last episode tomorrow, tune in. We're giving away everything Camera, shipping the camera, the MacBook, whatever you want, anything you've ever seen on camera it's yours, just kidding, and you can win this pink shaker cup.

Kevin Palmieri:

Shaker Cup and a signed 8x10 by Alan Lazarus whoa that's gonna be worth something someday hang on to that alright, nextleveluniversecom has all the stuff the Dreamliner, next Level, live 2025, alan's coaching, all the stuff that we have is there, so make sure you check out the website. As always, we love you, we appreciate you, grateful for each and every one of you. Nlu, we don't have fans. We have family. We will talk to you all tomorrow.

Alan Lazaros:

Keep it Next Level, next Level Nation.

Kevin Palmieri:

Thanks for joining us for another episode of Next Level University. We love connecting with the Next Level family.

Alan Lazaros:

We mean it when we say family. If you ever need anything, please reach out to us directly. Everything you need to get a hold of us is in the show notes.

Kevin Palmieri:

Thank you again and we will talk to you tomorrow.

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Alan Lazaros

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Kevin Palmieri

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