
Next Level University
Confidence, mindset, relationships, limiting beliefs, family, goals, consistency, self-worth, and success are at the core of hosts Kevin Palmieri and Alan Lazaros' heart-driven, no-nonsense approach to holistic self-improvement. This transformative, 7 day per week podcast is focused on helping dream chasers who have been struggling to achieve their goals and are seeking community, consistency and answers. If you've ever asked yourself "How do I get to the next level in my life", we're here for you!
Our goal at NLU is to help you uncover the habits to build unshakable confidence, cultivate a powerful mindset, nurture meaningful relationships, overcome limiting beliefs, create an amazing family life, set and achieve transformative goals, embrace consistency, recognize your self-worth, and ultimately create the fulfillment and success you desire. Let's level up your health, wealth and love!
Next Level University
The Goal Underneath The Goal (2002)
In this episode of Next Level University, hosts Kevin Palmieri and Alan Lazaros uncover the deeper motivations behind why we set goals and how understanding them can create lasting success. Whether fitness, finances, or relationships, a hidden reason drives our ambitions. They discuss how insecurities, self-worth, and past experiences shape our desires and how recognizing these patterns can lead to personal breakthroughs. Tune in to discover the real reason behind your goals and how to use that knowledge to push yourself further.
Learn more about:
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NLU is not just a podcast; it’s a gateway to a wealth of resources designed to help you achieve your goals and dreams. From our Next Level Dreamliner to our Group Coaching, we offer a variety of tools and communities to support your personal development journey.
For more information, please check out our website at the link below. 👇
Website 💻 http://www.nextleveluniverse.com
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Show notes:
(2:17) Success requires staying humble
(3:43) Why do we set goals
(5:29) Understanding personal motivations
(8:30) Insecurity as a growth driver
(14:08) The impact of self-worth on success
(18:43) Next Level Dreamliner: the planner, agenda, journal, and habit tracker to rule them all. Get a copy: https://a.co/d/9fPpxEt
(20:18) How our childhood shapes our goals
(23:59) Setting goals with deeper meaning
(30:53) Self-esteem and goal setting
(31:28) Action step: Write down 10+ reasons
(35:54) Outro
My next level lesson would be a next level tactic. Write down 10, 15, 20 goals under the goal for whatever your main focus is right now. If you're trying to get in better shape, awesome. Why. If you're trying to save money right now, awesome. Why. If you are trying to find a partner, sit with that, sit with that. Give me 10, 15 under that. There's going to be some deep stuff that comes up.
Alan Lazaros:And then when you get older and older and older and older, and you mature through this journey, then you realize, okay, I'm not insecure about that anymore. Now I have the self-worth and the self-belief within myself what else can I do? What else can I do? What else can I do? And then you realize that, okay, I'm grateful that I was insecure and I'm grateful for the response I had to that insecurity, because only because I'm grateful for where I ended up.
Kevin Palmieri:Welcome to Next Level University. I'm your host, Kevin Palmieri.
Alan Lazaros:And I'm your co-host, Alan Lazarus.
Kevin Palmieri:At NLU, we believe in a heart-driven but no BS approach to holistic self-improvement for dream chasers.
Alan Lazaros:Our goal with every episode is to help you level up your life, love, health and wealth.
Kevin Palmieri:We bring you a new episode every single day on topics like confidence, self-belief, self-worth, self-awareness, relationships, boundaries, consistency, habits and defining your own unique version of success.
Alan Lazaros:Self-improvement in your pocket, every day, from anywhere, completely free.
Kevin Palmieri:Welcome to Next Level University, next Level Nation. Welcome back to another episode of Next Level University, where we help you level up your life, your love, your health and your wealth. Today, for episode number 2002, I almost forgot to record the video, so we celebrated 2000 and I just did a celebration post. Thank you to those of you who have already liked and commented in and done that, and I'm flying high in the glory of oh my goodness, we did this, and then I almost proceeded to mess up this episode.
Alan Lazaros:The lesson in that is you can never rest on success.
Kevin Palmieri:Stay humble or die.
Alan Lazaros:Stay humble or lose everything you've earned. Or lose everything you've earned.
Kevin Palmieri:So today we're talking about the goal underneath the goal. I am curious to your take on this. I think I already know the answer. I do believe that one of the reasons I want to get into better shape is because I do. I like the certainty that comes with it One I do. Like the significance that comes with it.
Alan Lazaros:One I do like the significance that comes with it, I do.
Kevin Palmieri:So, what if? What if we say you know what I'd really like? To lose 15 pounds, okay, cool. Why, well, you know, I just I know I'd be healthier. Yeah, no, I understand Between you and me though nobody else is going to hear this Like between you and me. Why do you really want to lose it? Yeah, well, you know, I feel like I could move better Now. I gotcha, I gotcha, let's. Let's be real, though. Is there something like what's the goal under the goal? Well, though, is there something like what's the goal under the goal? Well, you know, I'm newly single, and okay, say less Gotcha, gotcha Makes total sense. One I feel better about myself. So the goal under the goal for me to get down to? I want to get down to 165 pounds, that's 15 pounds from where I am right now.
Alan Lazaros:That's.
Kevin Palmieri:I mean that is right now, that's a, I mean that is a commitment. There's a.
Alan Lazaros:I want to get back to where I was.
Kevin Palmieri:I want to be able to take a picture whenever I want and just look good, yeah, there's a, there's significance there, for sure, there's pride there, for sure. There's the new identity of I'm a bodybuilder and I'm having bodybuilding conversations again and I'm like posing in the gym. That's something I haven't done. So there's so many goals under the goal and I think, while they can be scary, one of the things that I was so afraid to start talking about is how much I value nice things like cars, because I was so afraid somebody would think wait, oh so you didn't really start a self-improvement company to help people. You started it to make money.
Kevin Palmieri:It's like no, trust me, if I wanted to make money, I would have started a liquor company. That's like the way to. I would have done that. I wouldn't have started a self-improvement company. But one of the reasons I work so hard is because I want to take care of my family, and the way to take care of my family and the way to take care of my family is to make money. That is one of the goals under the goals. So if you have any shame around it, if you have any embarrassment around it, I think it's worth looking into, because what if that could actually help you. What if that could increase the likelihood of you getting the goal? That's my early thesis in this episode.
Alan Lazaros:Well, I think this comes down to the way human beings are motivated in general. Right, we're all Maslow's hierarchy of needs. We all have these different needs, and then there's the ones that we've learned from Tony Robbins the certainty, variety, significance, love, growth and contribution. We all have all six. It's like a six-cylinder car. Imagine a couple of the cylinders are broken. It's not going to be as powerful.
Kevin Palmieri:It's putting along.
Alan Lazaros:Yeah, so yeah, growth and contribution are really important, and that might be the main goal, but the goal underneath the goal is to also gain significance or whatever it is, and I think we're all wired differently. I mean, sometimes I wonder if me not caring about nice things is a detriment. I know that it is, I'm certain of it, a hundred percent, because a lot of people value nice things and a lot of people see people who have nice things as more than they, more credible. Yeah, people who have nice things are more credible, I guess, by most people's standards. Right, and so all of this comes down to knowing yourself, knowing what motivates you, and one thing that I'm certain of, as long as you don't take it too far, because there are some people that their intentions aren't pure, and I think that that is not good for the world.
Kevin Palmieri:What's your goal?
Alan Lazaros:under the goal for fitness. One thing that I think is really weird about me that I've come to learn is that I actually think that I do have the weird goal Like longevity is number one for sure, but I don't need to be super jacked to work on longevity. So let me unpack all of the whys, the reasons underneath fitness, the goal underneath the goal. I was tall and lanky and insignificant and overlooked by every girl when I was a freshman in high school. Freshman year of high school was the hardest year of my life and I've talked about it. Stepdad left, sister moved out. Mom got in a fight with my aunt. We got ostracized by that side of the family. I still all of that, both my stepdad's family and my mom's side. I've only ever seen two people out of both sides of those families since. So it was a lot of abandonment. It was a lot of pain and suffering and I didn't spend a lot of time with my birth father's side either, because when we were trying to be the Lazaruses, we didn't associate much with the McCorkles.
Alan Lazaros:That's a very long story told in a very short amount of time, but that was the worst year of my life and I remember people saying like these are the best years of your life, like high school, and I remember thinking fuck, no, please, no, I really seriously hope not, because if that's the case, then I don't want to do this and obviously I didn't believe them. Luckily, uh, cause their life looked, looked terrible. Uh, obviously their life got a lot worse than when they were in high school. Terrible, obviously, their life got a lot worse than when they were in high school, and some of them were degenerates, by the way, but anyways, so degenerates. Love to give advice to low self-worth young men, for sure. Well, you know the goal under the goal in that Significance Exactly.
Kevin Palmieri:It's like oh why don't you take a seat?
Alan Lazaros:Let me tell you, let me tell you While you're slugging a beer from a golf cart, you know. Let me tell you a little bit about back in my day you know, but anyway.
Alan Lazaros:so the goal under the goal with fitness for me is I like being larger and stronger. And I remember I got jumped in the Providence place mall and I ran away like a coward and my friend didn't and he got beaten the shit out of. Quite frankly, it was a schizophrenic who didn't take their medication. And I remember after that I was like you know what? I'm going to get huge. I'm going to get really, really big and next time I'm going to have the courage and the physicality to fight back. And I just started lifting weights and I gained 60 pounds in six months. Don't do that. It was a lot.
Kevin Palmieri:Majority of that was fat but there was a bunch of muscle diet, yeah.
Alan Lazaros:But I went from tall and lanky to really large in a very short amount of time and then that was depressing too, because people treated me very differently and it's like, okay, so everyone is treating people differently based on this, that and the other thing. And this is back when I was in corporate. But the goal under the goal for fitness is be strong, be capable, be, yes, not overlooked until junior year of high school and you're you're basically overlooked by every girl. You don't feel like you can get anyone's attention. You do. You feel super insignificant. So I think the first, like the, the, the immature answer that still drives me is significance uh, being someone of value, being someone who is valued, being someone who can capture a room when there was a time in my life where I couldn't, no matter what I did, and that's very much not the case anymore, which is good. But the other one is longevity, and I want to be God. I need to just share who I am. I want to be a freak athlete in my 50s, 60s and 70s. I'm talking freak athlete, like want to be able to climb mountains. Emilia and I have hiked seven mountains. I want to be a freak athlete in my 50s, 60s and 70s. I'm talking freak athlete Like I want to be able to climb mountains. Emilia and I have hiked seven mountains. I want to be able to do everything. I want to be fully functional, and so I think the significance piece is being in ridiculously good shape.
Alan Lazaros:I think the utility in all of that is longevity and being able to be functional, because Emilia and I are going to have children very late. I'm 36, right, I mean we might not have kids until she's 33, 34, 35, maybe even 36, 37. So she's going to have kids in her mid-30s. I'm going to have kids when I'm older, so when my kids are 20, I'm going to be like in my 60s. So I'm planning on making sure that I'm fully capable I'm talking freakish capable.
Alan Lazaros:So I'm planning on making sure that I'm fully capable. I'm talking freakish capable and I want to be able to play football with them and all that kind of stuff too. So I think there's a lot of things underneath that. But longevity, ultimately my goal is 120. I do believe that will be possible in the 21st century. I can't guarantee it, no one can but I can do everything I can to be as healthy, as humanly possible, as functional, as humanly possible, as aesthetic, as humanly possible. I want to age as well as I humanly can. So the goal within the goal, within the goal, within the goal, within the goal. For me, I don't ever I stack, I don't just set goals. Kev's like I set the goal to get the goal.
Kevin Palmieri:I unpack.
Alan Lazaros:I stack every single why I can. So if I set a goal for anything, I need to have 20 whys underneath it, and I used to do this in fitness coaching. Last piece, I'll shift it over to Kev. I used to do fitness coaching for a couple years and people would always say, well, I want to, I want to get in better shape. And I'd say, okay, whoop-dee-fucking-do, everyone wants to get in better shape and I'd say, okay, whoop-dee-fucking-do, everyone wants to be in better shape, everyone. There's no one, including us, who doesn't want to be in better shape. I have a client who's in unbelievable shape and her family is like, oh, I want a butt like yours. And they're like, oh, I'm going to get a BBL. You know what a BBL is? I didn't same thing. It's like everyone knows what a fucking BBL is.
Kevin Palmieri:Head on down to Brazil, get yourself a little butt lift, which is extremely unhealthy and a good way to die oh terrible.
Alan Lazaros:But this client of mine is like well, why don't you just exercise? And they're like, ah, we don't want to. It's like what I can't even fathom that Like. Here's the thing, the goal of the goal. That's the point of this episode. If the goal is significance, why wouldn't you just go get a BBL or whatever that is? I know it sounds nuts, but when I wake up in the morning I feel like a fucking superhero. I know what it was like when I was drinking and not sleeping well and I was unathletic and I wasn't weight training and all this. I woke up feeling like shit and Health, wealth and Love, next Level University. Imagine waking up every morning feeling like a million bucks. Now it's not every morning. Sometimes I do feel like I get hit by a truck.
Alan Lazaros:I must have missed the boat on this one, but I do. I do feel amazing right now like really, really, really good, and by seven o'clock I'll be struggle bus because it's a long ass day. But I think that to me last piece, because I did this in fitness coaching. I used to force my client force. I used to ask my clients for homework oh, I want to want to lose 15 pounds. Why Give me 25 reasons why. And they would write them out and send them to me. They were awesome. I want to be around for my grandkids. I want to be healthier in my 40s and 50s. I want to be able to play football with my grandkids. I want to be they. You stack them. I want to be more attractive to the opposite sex. Who the fuck doesn't want to be more attractive to the opposite sex? Who the fuck doesn't want to be more attractive to the opposite sex?
Alan Lazaros:Right and or same sex and or same sex.
Kevin Palmieri:Thank you for that. I appreciate it.
Alan Lazaros:Um, good call. But who doesn't want to be more happy, healthy, productive and attractive? I mean that's the best. That's where that's what life is. I think it's. I mean it's the best. I remember being unhealthy as hell and I hated it, and uh, yeah, I have a lot of reasons.
Kevin Palmieri:I think I woke up. The first thing I said this morning was oh shit. I'm pretty sure that was the first thing I said this morning when I woke up and I got like an 89 sleep score.
Alan Lazaros:Nice.
Kevin Palmieri:But I've been redlining it a little bit, lifting heavy every day. Yeah, dieting kind of sucks. So I remember this will tell you a lot about me. I was back in the day when I was driving a truck operating a forklift certified certified forklift operator. Right here in the flesh my buddies were like, hey, we're going to go to a country concert. And I was like, love that, we're going to summer, we're going to be partying. I got to start dieting. Obviously I'm not going to show up there, not jacked.
Alan Lazaros:I remember the pictures from this concert. Jacked, you were jacked, I was in such good shape?
Kevin Palmieri:Yeah, you were. All of that was insecurity. That's the truth. That's the goal. I think that's the truth under the goal, under the goal, under the goal, under the goal, the thing that maybe you would never expect I'm not ever going to get any taller, but I can try to be in better shape than most of the people around me that there's something.
Alan Lazaros:So you didn't feel good about yourself and in order to compensate for that, I you got in.
Kevin Palmieri:I know I'll never capture a room in the way that you can, but what if I can capture a room in a different way?
Alan Lazaros:Yeah, I remember being short, it's harder to capture a room. I remember that it's damn near impossible.
Kevin Palmieri:It's way harder. Yeah, if I'm with you, what's going to? I mean and again this is going to sound like a joke, I don't mean it this way, some people won't even see me. If it this way, some people won't even see me.
Kevin Palmieri:If there's like an audience, your head is going to stick above the audience where mine isn't. Yeah, it's like I'm crawling through the the trees here. You're at the treetop, so, but I don't think that's, I don't think that's a bad thing. I don't think it's bad to geez, as long I think, as long as you're in control. Okay, it can't just be about significance, because if it's just about significance, you're going to go home that night. You're going to say, all right, well, now all the attention's gone.
Alan Lazaros:I'm back to baseline of not feeling and you might get a bbl instead of actually be healthier. Right that when it's only about significance.
Kevin Palmieri:That's when you start doing things that are short-term wins for long-term losses I also get significance from being strong, which means I have to go to the gym and lift weights, so it's nice. It forces me to make sure I'm actually putting in in the effort. But I will be very honest. The reason I got really good fitness results was based on insecurity, probably more than anything else, and my my friends were into fitness, so that helped. But I mean dude again. I know I was dating one of the quote, unquote, one of the more popular girls in the school, and all that in high school, but I felt super insignificant.
Alan Lazaros:I was looking back at a photo. I was with one of my clients and we were reminiscing, and there's a photo of me, you and matt at his girlfriend's place at prom that I have yes and it's me and my girlfriend at the time, alissa, you and your girlfriend at the time, liz, and then matt her name was fucking lindsey I'm sorry, I'm so sorry.
Kevin Palmieri:Hey, I just I appreciate the certainty with which you just threw out Liz.
Alan Lazaros:I don't know why. I think it's Liz. At least it's the same.
Kevin Palmieri:It's an L. It's an L. I believe. One of my buddies was there and he was dating somebody named Liz, so there was potentially somebody there named Liz.
Alan Lazaros:You were there with your girlfriend at the time, dave I think it was, that wasn't her name, bobby, yeah oh man, john dell was who jane dell is who kevin was dating. No, but it's fascinating because I'm just thinking back to those days when we're young men and now me, matt and kevin know each other. I ran into matt at the gym to not two weeks ago. Ah, it's probably two months ago now. It's a while ago, right, a month and a half, something like that.
Alan Lazaros:It feels like two weeks ago but, anyways, you know he's a grown-ass man and very large. Uh, in the best way, jack hello, hello, hello. Thank you, as always, for listening to Next Level University. Real quick, I just want to jump in and let you know about the Next Level Dreamliner. This is a journal that I use every single day. Achieve your dreams 90 days at a time. It breaks down your dreams into goals, milestones and daily habits. We hope you enjoy it. The link will be in the show notes.
Alan Lazaros:I just had that moment of looking at us at prom and just thinking, yeah, young men are. I think drive sometimes starts, often starts, from insecurity. Right, I used being smarter as my way to provide value and feel valuable, feel good about myself. You used being in great shape. Matt used sports, right. Matt was really good at sports, right. So we all find an outlet to try to feel better about ourselves. I don't think that's a bad thing. I think it becomes a bad thing when you are immature about it and when you are tying all of your worth to something that's outside of yourself. And I think that the the hero's journey, the growth journey.
Alan Lazaros:I was with a client doing her whole story. She's on a podcast today. I had her. Give me the one minute version, the five minute version and the 10 minute version. The one minute version is brutal. She did a great job, but it's really hard to do. That's what I meant by that. It's really tough to do your whole story in one minute. I kind of did mine earlier, but anyways. So, uh, what was I saying about that?
Kevin Palmieri:uh, you were on with a client before that.
Alan Lazaros:It can't be the whole thing yeah, if you tie all of your worth to something outside of yourself, oh, the hero's journey. The hero's journey is you're young and insecure about something. Either you didn't get love, or maybe you're not popular, or maybe you are popular, getting taken advantage of whatever insert challenge here of young high school situation, middle school, whatever childhood. And then it's okay, I'm going to find a way to cope with this. I'm going to find a way to cope with this, and you cope. So my stepdad leaves Okay, we're screwed. Okay, I need to build wealth. Okay, what am I going to do? So I aim higher, work harder, get smarter. Boom, I'm going to be an engineer. Okay, they make a lot of money. Good, all of us are.
Alan Lazaros:Our goals are in in the opposition, the opposite direction. Human goals usually start out in the opposite direction of deep pain and insecurity. So if kevin's insecure about being short, then he is going to get jacked. I had another friend growing up who had a rat tail and he was bullied a ton and he was the one who was most into fitness. And it wasn't us, we didn't get into fitness till way later he was. He was jacked. I mean, he had a surgery where his intestines one third of his intestines was taken out when he was a kid and he had scars all over his abs. So he got, he was ripped, he got an eight pack so that you couldn't see his scars, and so I think there's something to that where you can take this pain or this trauma or this feeling of insignificance, whatever you're insecure about, and you can insecure about that anymore. Uh, so now I now I have the self-worth and the self-belief within myself. What else can I do? What else can I do? What else can I do? And then you realize that, okay, I'm grateful that I was insecure and I'm grateful for the response I had to that insecurity, because only because I'm grateful for where I ended up. If you're not grateful for where you ended up, then you probably won't feel this way.
Alan Lazaros:But at the time I hated being insignificant. I hated the girl that I had the biggest crush on wouldn't even fucking talk to me, like I hated all that. Back then, I hated that my stepdad left. I hated my. You know that my stepdad left and that we were broke and I we didn't have cable and like I didn't let. But now, of course, where I am today, it's like I'm, I'm, I understand. I'm grateful for what I made of that, and had I had it easy, I don't think I would have become this man.
Alan Lazaros:So it's that paradox thing and I'm not saying for anyone who's still in you know pain and suffering and trust me, we're not done with pain and suffering, but at least now it's by choice. Back in the day, man, back in the day, it wasn't about, it wasn't pain and suffering by choice, it was pain and suffering by default. At least now our pain and suffering is voluntary and now our pain and suffering is a byproduct of having huge goals and dreams. To me, that's. And so if you're, if you're out there right now watching or listening, and you feel like you're stuck or stagnant, the goal of the goal, the point of this episode is growth. It's, it's growth. It has to be Like, what's the point of goals? Why 15 pounds? Okay, yeah, significance. Okay, I want to look good on the beach. I don't want to be insecure in a photograph. Okay, I want to inspire others Great, great, great, great. But also, you want to grow as a person. You can't grow as a person. No.
Kevin Palmieri:No, that ain't it. I want to get jacked. No part of it is growing into a better man uh, if I'm, if I'm honest, uh, maybe like a very small part, but that's not. I mean, it's very low on the. I feel like most of the other stuff I'm doing is to be a better man, so that's more like so I can be all right with me.
Alan Lazaros:But that makes you a better man.
Kevin Palmieri:Yeah, but I guess it's not a conscious thought. Oh Like, if you, you're pointing it out, but if you said list 15 things, that would probably be at the bottom of the list, if I'm being honest.
Alan Lazaros:Yeah, no, I appreciate it. I think most of these motivators are unconscious. I think that's where the Hyperconscious podcast started. When people list out their 25 reasons why they want to be in better shape, I mean there's reasons on the list. They always said this. They would say I'm so glad you made me do this because there's so many reasons I never even thought of. We are unconsciously, we all have motive for action. All of us unconsciously for everything we do even the dumb shit, especially the dumb shit.
Alan Lazaros:It's right there's motive behind it, and if you don't unpack that and understand what's the real motive for action, you you kind of aren't. You're on autopilot. Yeah, I think when kevin isn't feeling good about himself, he's not as good of a man and if he wants to be a better man, he needs to. I think you actually owe it to the world to be jacked, because if you're not, you won't be as good of a person. It's a lot of pressure you're putting on me, I know, but that's. I think we all owe it to the world and to our loved ones to be the best version of ourselves.
Kevin Palmieri:Well, I think that's one of the things that's so hard is what it will take to get. There will look like I'm miserable, you know, and people will say like, ah, you don't have to. That's what my mom and grandmother always used to say, like, oh, dieting, you shouldn't be dieting, it's not good for you. You have to eat more it. I got this, you know. I've been doing this for like a couple decades. I got it, I'm on it, I promise.
Alan Lazaros:Last piece. Why, to me, I think it's all of our responsibility to find a way to feel good about ourselves, because the people who feel the worst about themselves deep down are actually the ones doing the most reckless things.
Kevin Palmieri:Well, but even that's a a dangerous statement because, to your point, sometimes I think people take response. They think responsibility means something that it doesn't.
Alan Lazaros:Well, when I was unhappy and unfulfilled, I wasn't as good of a person.
Kevin Palmieri:Yeah, yeah, but I don't think I was a bad person on the spectrum of humans, but I definitely wasn't as good of a person as I am now. No no.
Alan Lazaros:I think that when you earn happiness, fulfillment, health, wealth and love, you are a better person. You have the opportunity to be a better person. You can be more generous, you can be more loving. How am I supposed to believe in you if I haven't cultivated belief within me? You're a better man now than when I met you by a, by a fucking long shot. It's not that you were a bad man, you just weren't. It's like a house that you build. You know, some mansions are more valuable than other houses. So we all start out as a little shack and and we can either build a mansion or, you know, pretend that we're a mansion when deep down, we feel like a shack and then make other people, you know, tear other people down and all that kind of stuff, throw rocks through their windows.
Kevin Palmieri:I think hypothetically, hypothetically in this example?
Alan Lazaros:Yeah, of course, but I I do think that when I was the most insecure, I had two choices. I could either tear other people down, which I just could not do. I did that for a short time. I bullied for a very short time when I was in fourth grade and Josh was his name. It was a short time. I used to trip him at recess. I talked about that. That was the only time I was ever I remember feeling like this is wrong. There's something wrong about this. This makes me feel significant, to make him feel insignificant, and that was the end of that, and my stepdad definitely did some of that to me. I think it's all rooted in insecurity. How do you handle your insecurities? The goal of goals is to feel fucking self-esteem and self-worth and self-confidence and self-belief. When you have true self-esteem and self-confidence, you don't need to tear anyone down.
Kevin Palmieri:Yeah, I wonder what would happen if you could take 50 cards and write very small goals on all the cards and then have somebody pull the card and say, okay, go accomplish that, even if it isn't like super deeply meaningful to you and not personal. I wonder what? Let's okay, on a scale of 0 to 10. How do you feel right now? How much self-belief do you have? How much self-trust? What do you feel like your self-esteem is alright, go accomplish the goal. Alright, let's measure it again very to see, because it's not a goal that you chose. You just picked it from a deck of cards and you know it's. I don't know. Get someone to buy this mug, like that's your goal today. That's all you have to do today. Get somebody to buy this mug, go do that. See what happens For how much.
Kevin Palmieri:Whatever, whatever you can get.
Alan Lazaros:Brother, this mug, yeah, this is like the mug, uh-huh yeah $250.
Kevin Palmieri:Maybe.
Alan Lazaros:Am I allowed to put something in the mug?
Kevin Palmieri:No, I'll put $3 in it. This is what I would do. You could definitely do that. You spend $250. Yeah, I would go. I would probably go. I would probably go to somebody with, like a very expensive drink and say, look, this drink has a little pinhole in the bottom of it and it's gonna the whole thing's gonna drain out. I want you to have this drink. It's yours a seven dollar drink. Right, this is a seven dollar drink. Just give me $3 for the mug. I would lose $4 in this transaction, but I would sell that fucking mug. And then there's a further conversation of well, if you do something like that, that might actually make you feel worse about yourself. And then we can go down the because, yeah, you accomplished the goal, but you sold out to do it.
Alan Lazaros:Exactly See, that's why selling out is always a short-term W for a long-term loss. Well, it's not always a short-term W. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But if you lose self-esteem and you lose self-confidence and you sell out, I think the goal of the goal to end the episode, my takeaway, my next level lesson the goal of the goal is to build self-esteem and self-confidence, aka self-belief, and self-worth.
Kevin Palmieri:I'm going to take yours, I'm going to jack yours right from you. My next level lesson would be a next level tactic and it's write down 10, 15, 20 goals under the goal for whatever your main focus is right now. If you're trying to get in better shape, awesome. Why. If you're trying to save in better shape, awesome. Why. If you're trying to save money right now, awesome. Why. If you are trying to find a partner, sit with that, sit with that. Give me 10, 15 under that. There's going to be some deep stuff that comes up A little homework, a little next level homework assignment.
Alan Lazaros:Nice.
Kevin Palmieri:And do it homework a little next level homework assignment, nice, and do it or don't come back. I'm not, I'm serious. No, I mean, I'm kidding, I'm not serious. Well, I imagine that's what Alan's coaching is like do the homework or don't come back.
Alan Lazaros:I had a client yesterday she we went through the homework green, yellow, red. She's like didn't do it, that's my bad red.
Kevin Palmieri:And then she's like green, green, green, red, didn't do it.
Alan Lazaros:And then she's like green, green, green Red Didn't do it. And then, before the call ended I was playful with this and she knows I'm joking I said and also oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, also do your fucking homework.
Kevin Palmieri:I was kidding, she left. She left Real quick, real quick story and we'll get out of here One minute story. Alan and I had a. There was an accountant, an accounting firm, in the building that we were in. I was like, dude, let's just go to them. So we call them up one day, no, no, yeah, yeah, one day before taxes were due, hey, uh, we just, we just need our taxes done for this year. Shouldn't be that big of a deal. And they're like, yeah, come on, wait this, like right now, like yeah, if we could get them done by tomorrow, that'd be great. They're like, no, that doesn't ever happen. It's like, oh, okay, I didn't know that. Why don't you come on down and we'll talk about it? We walk in need and they're like all right, let's uh, let's pen through the list here.
Alan Lazaros:You guys have your, uh, your 1046, and alan and I look at each other and we're like nope, and it was just going down the line of like, okay, you got your 1052?
Kevin Palmieri:uh, your 1089? No, no, I don't even know what that is, and I think we just got to a point where, like honestly, we don't have any of what you're asking for.
Alan Lazaros:So, yeah, you need to treat us like we are brand new here because we need to just brand new. It was terrible it wasn't good and we still work with them to this day. We still work with them because I'm ashamed to go anywhere else. Honestly, that's really they know, they know, I just signed my docusign actually the other day strong work.
Kevin Palmieri:Amen. Our taxes will be extended yet again for the sixth year in a row. All right, cool Announcement, Little change, but in a very positive direction. So for Next Level, Live 2025, which is April 5th it's coming up quick, 30-something days we are going to cap the amount of tickets that we sell at 50. So we're only going to be selling 50 tickets to this event. It's totally virtual. The reason why is we want to have breakout sessions and we're going to have five groups of 10 people. It gets wonky if we sell 100 tickets and then there's just too much going on. So we want to make sure that it is a quality experience more than a quantity experience for us Would it be cool to have.
Kevin Palmieri:Take it easy. Would it be cool to have 200 people? Awesome, that would be great, but it probably wouldn't be the best experience for you as an attendee and we want to make sure it's a good experience for you.
Alan Lazaros:We've been doing group coaching for four and a half years, coming up on four and a half years and it's always been groups of 10. Sometimes we promise someone can come in and then they can't get in last minute, so it's been 11 or 12, but 10 is a good group. So there's going to be five coaches, five groups of 10. Breakout sessions we're going to have breakout sessions in between each of the speeches. Yes, full day. Personal growth day tend to Take a full day, where you get off the treadmill and then you redesign your life, and then you redesign the treadmill and then you get back on, but hey, it's your treadmill. So I think the personal growth day is really important and I'm excited as well because I need to take a step back and redesign as well.
Kevin Palmieri:Well, unfortunately for us, that won't be happening that day, because you and I are going to be presenting for 10 hours.
Alan Lazaros:But it'll get us thinking.
Kevin Palmieri:It'll get us thinking yeah.
Alan Lazaros:It'll get us thinking.
Kevin Palmieri:Yeah, for sure. Maybe the next day you can redesign your life. Put it off. What's one more day?
Alan Lazaros:There's going to be a workbook All of our best stuff over the last eight years all into one growth day.
Kevin Palmieri:Boom Done. So that will be in the show notes. It's on the website, so you can make sure you get your ticket. Because now and I'm not just saying this, this isn't one of those things like, look, the countdown timer is on. If you don't get your ticket now, you've got to get it in the next 15 minutes. No, there's only going to be 50 tickets sold, and if you want to be there, I want to make sure that you have an opportunity to do it, because if not, you're gonna have to wait till next year, and a year is a long ass time cool as always.
Kevin Palmieri:We love you, we appreciate you, grateful for each and every one of you and at nlu we don't have fans, we have family. We will talk to you all tomorrow keep it next level, next level nation thanks for joining us for another episode of Next Level University. We love connecting with the Next Level family.
Alan Lazaros:We mean it when we say family. If you ever need anything, please reach out to us directly. Everything you need to get a hold of us is in the show notes.
Kevin Palmieri:Thank you again and we will talk to you tomorrow you.