Next Level University

When Is It Time To Quit A Dream? (2004)

• Kevin Palmieri and Alan Lazaros

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Understanding when to quit pursuing a dream is one of life’s most difficult challenges. In this episode, Kevin Palmieri and Alan Lazaros tackle one of the most complex questions—knowing when to push forward and when to pivot. They break down the difference between passion, purpose, and the vehicle that carries them, helping you figure out if you’re genuinely on the right path or just in the wrong mode of transportation. They also explore regret, fulfillment, and the key questions that can bring clarity to your journey.

The Miracle Question:

“Suppose that while you’re sleeping tonight, a miracle happens. The problems you’ve been facing are suddenly resolved, but because you were asleep, you don’t know this has happened. When you wake up tomorrow, what would be the first sign that tells you something is different? What else would you notice?”

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NLU is not just a podcast; it’s a gateway to a wealth of resources designed to help you achieve your goals and dreams. From our Next Level Dreamliner to our Group Coaching, we offer a variety of tools and communities to support your personal development journey.

For more information, please check out our website at the link below. 👇

Website 💻  http://www.nextleveluniverse.com

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Alan@nextleveluniverse.com

LinkedIn ✍
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Alan: https://www.linkedin.com/in/alanlazarosllc/

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Show notes:
(2:02) The hard truth about quitting a dream
(4:45) Passion, purpose, and profit explained
(6:08) Are you quitting your dream or just the vehicle?
(10:22) A simple exercise to know if you’re on the right path
(13:07) Next Level Dreamliner: the planner, agenda, journal, and habit tracker to rule them all. Get a copy: https://a.co/d/9fPpxEt
(17:19) Are you afraid to lose, or do you not want to win?
(19:42) Would you still do this if you won $100 million?
(21:04) How to reverse-engineer regret
(22:30) Outro

Send a text to Kevin and Alan!

Kevin Palmieri:

If you never had to work another day in your life to make money, but you had to do something in the service of others or humanity? What would that look like? You can't sit margaritas on the beach all day. You have to do something. You have to like physically, mentally, emotionally, cognitively do something. But I also understand that's like a pie in the sky question. That can be really hard to answer.

Alan Lazaros:

Suppose that while you're sleeping tonight, a miracle happens the problems you've been facing are suddenly resolved. But because you were asleep, you don't know. This has happened. When you wake up tomorrow, what would be the first sign that tells you something is different? What else would you notice?

Kevin Palmieri:

Welcome to Next Level University. I'm your host, Kevin.

Alan Lazaros:

Palmieri, and I'm your co-host, alan.

Kevin Palmieri:

Lazarus At NLU. We believe in a heart-driven but no BS approach to holistic self-improvement for dream chasers.

Alan Lazaros:

Our goal with every episode is to help you level up your life love health and wealth.

Kevin Palmieri:

We bring you a new episode every single day, on topics like confidence, self-belief, self-worth, self-awareness, relationships, boundaries, consistency, habits and defining your own unique version of success.

Alan Lazaros:

Self-improvement in your pocket, every day, from anywhere, completely free.

Kevin Palmieri:

Welcome to Next Level University completely free. Welcome to Next Level University, next Level Nation. Welcome back to another episode of Next Level University where we help you level up your life, your love, your health and your wealth. Today for episode number one, sorry, 2004. So I was very used to saying it's like my birthday. That's why I don't know when my birthday is until I've had the. How old I am? Until I've been that age for six months, you need a certain amount of time.

Alan Lazaros:

Okay, it's like that with your identity as well. It's like that with pretty much everything you have to podcast for six months before you call yourself a podcaster. Pretty much for me it's six minutes, for me it was. It was longer, probably like six years.

Kevin Palmieri:

Okay, last episode we talked about the truth of the truth, about being all in. I'm jeff today, when is it time to quit? A dream is today's? Somebody reached out to me in whatsapp and they said hey, question for you. And these, this always scares me when people ask me this, because it's like are you going to quit your dream? Somebody reached out and said hey, when's? When do you quit the dream? For in this case it it was podcasting. When do you do that? And I said dude, I don't know if I have a really good answer.

Kevin Palmieri:

I think if you've lost the love for it and it's no longer serving the purpose that it once did, that's a sign Slash, even if you did achieve the specific level of success that you think you once wanted, it still wouldn't be fulfilling. Outside of that, I think it kind of ebbs and flows where if you feel like you're losing but you can imagine to yourself there's nothing I'd rather be doing, then I probably wouldn't call it quits. If you really feel like you would regret, here's the fork in the road. If you can sit down with yourself and have an honest conversation and you think you would regret continuing, that's a potential red flag.

Kevin Palmieri:

If you sit down and you think you would regret quitting, that's another red flag regret. I got a lot of regrets. So yeah, that's my thought. But I am curious to your take because you should have never quit tattooing on your arm. Versus me Now you don't have any tattoos because you're soft, but if you were going to get one, that could be something. But I know you're of the belief of if you find your purpose, if you find your mission and it's serving you, I mean, what else is there to do? That's the thing.

Alan Lazaros:

Well, this is the difference between a purpose and a vehicle that helps you reach that purpose. So, passion, purpose, profit, kevin came up with the three Ps. Way back several years back. I came up with that. Oh yeah, back Several years back.

Kevin Palmieri:

I came up with that.

Alan Lazaros:

Oh yeah.

Kevin Palmieri:

I am so wise, aren't I?

Alan Lazaros:

Remember there was a picture of a guy in a pool.

Kevin Palmieri:

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, you gotta figure out how to stay in the pool. Stay in the pool, yeah, yeah.

Alan Lazaros:

So, passion, purpose, profit. Your passion is Something that you Really, really, really like, really enjoy. Could be soccer, basket, basketball, podcasting, whatever it is, self-improvement We'll use us as an example, but I want you thinking of you, listener or viewer. So for Kevin and I, we are both passionate about working on ourselves. Okay, self-improvement, holistic self-improvement that's where this all started.

Alan Lazaros:

Hyper conscious podcast change the way you think, change the way you act, change the way you live, boom. Okay, that's the passion. The purpose is to help other people improve themselves and their lives. The profit is I'm a business coach, kevin's a podcast coach. We have a podcast production company. I do business coaching awesome.

Alan Lazaros:

But the purpose, the vehicle, is the podcast. So even if you and I were to quit the podcast we're not going to, but even if we were, we wouldn't be quitting our passion and our purpose and our profit We'd be quitting the vehicle to do that podcast is the vehicle to help other people improve themselves and improve their lives, and on the podcast, you and I also improve ourselves and improve our lives. And then we use that brand Next Level, university, next Level you pun intended to turn a profit. And then we reinvest a percentage of that profit back into the passion and the purpose and it goes round and round. And so when you say, when do you quit a dream, is that person actually quitting their dream or are they just quitting the vehicle to achieve it? Because I was a mindset coach and I was a peak performance coach and I was a life coach and I was a business consultant and I was a fitness coach early on. I went out of the wrong order there, but now I'm a business coach, so the vehicles have changed.

Kevin Palmieri:

The purpose of helping other people improve themselves and improve their lives has never changed. Well, I think it's hard if you don't necessarily know yet what the vehicle, what the difference is. Because the thing is, if you, sometimes, if you quit the vehicle, you might I don't know do you quit the purpose without knowing. I can't imagine doing anything other than this. But, like, if I was to leave this and go get a, like a 9 to 5, would I have the wherewithal to think to myself, well, I want to make sure it's in this direct service of others, so, like that's going to filter out a certain level of, like a certain number of jobs that I just wouldn't be fulfilled doing, you know, but I don't, I don't know a certain number of jobs that I just wouldn't be fulfilled doing Right, but I don't.

Kevin Palmieri:

I don't know. I mean, how long did it take me before I was actually conscious of that?

Alan Lazaros:

That'd be a question for you?

Kevin Palmieri:

Probably years, because in the beginning, it was In the beginning if I was going to quit, it was because I was broke, not because, again. I didn't start this to make money, but I literally couldn't pay my bills. It was pretty bad. My mom saw that post we did a 2,000 episode post and she's like if you can't pay your bills, you've got to reach out to me and I'll help you.

Alan Lazaros:

I was like Mom.

Kevin Palmieri:

That was like 2019. This was a minute ago. We're good was like it was like 2019. This is a minute ago. We're good. Everything's good now. But I said, I appreciate, I appreciate that very much. That was the, that was the thing, that was the resistance.

Kevin Palmieri:

So I think that's also an important piece of the conversation. How far into the journey are you? If you're one year in and it sucks, that might just be a byproduct of time. If you're two years in and it still sucks, maybe worse it's not necessarily a suggestion that you're not doing the right thing. Maybe it's a suggestion that you're not doing the right thing in the right way, or there's certain things that you don't know yet. I think this is why it's so hard to figure out when you're supposed to call something quits, because you can convince yourself that, well, there's still value. There's still lessons for me to learn. There's always going to be lessons for you to learn In anything. You could go crack your head against the wall a few times. There's lessons in that too. Don't do it. That's probably the most important lesson.

Alan Lazaros:

This is the hardest thing, because a purpose is a, so a passion is something you are into. A purpose is helping others with that. A purpose is helping others with that. A profit is the vehicle for which you can generate revenue. Those are three different things, but they're all connected. This is a podcast. This is a self-improvement podcast, but podcasting is not your purpose. Podcasting is the vehicle for your purpose. Your purpose is being the person you needed at your darkest moment, and the person you needed was someone who had systems and habits and worked on themselves and read books and all that stuff. So it's very difficult to tell someone when they should or shouldn't quit a dream, because do you consider us starting the stopping this podcast, quitting the dream? I wouldn't. We're still climbing a mountain. We just aren't doing that vehicle.

Alan Lazaros:

I would consider it well we connect the the dream to the podcast. So, so deeply. But before you and I started the podcast eight years ago, I had conversations change lives and before that I was speaking at high schools and colleges about what they'll never learn in school but desperately need to know. That was my first tagline what you'll never learn in school but desperately need to know. That was my first tagline. What you'll never learn in school but desperately need to know. I wanted to bring personal development to the school system and to the masses. That's still what we're doing. We're just doing it from a different vehicle and in a very different way, but you're still speaking Exactly.

Kevin Palmieri:

So, if it was, how would you feel if it wasn't that, if I?

Alan Lazaros:

wasn't speaking.

Kevin Palmieri:

Yeah, imagine you stop this and you just start writing books.

Alan Lazaros:

Well, we're going to write books. I don't.

Kevin Palmieri:

Yeah, but I'm never going to stop this.

Alan Lazaros:

You stop this, agreed.

Kevin Palmieri:

Cease podcasting. Commence book writing.

Alan Lazaros:

I would be less fulfilled, but I would still be fulfilled because I'd still be in my purpose, just not as fulfilled. I would think that that would be dumb at this stage. Yeah, how do I explain this? This is good. I was on with a new client earlier. Shout out to you, you know who you are.

Alan Lazaros:

She has been in hr for 20 years and we just did her metrics and habits and we did her dream statement and we did her top three priorities and her. Her focus right now is two different vehicles. So she's building her own consult HR consulting firm in tandem with getting a new HR job. Both of those are in her purpose of service. But she wants to eventually get rid of the HR full-time job and build her own family business with her husband in HR consulting. All of that is totally doable. She's in a pretty good spot. I'm excited. All of that is totally doable. She's in a pretty good spot. I'm excited. How will she know when it's time to quit quote, unquote the full-time HR job as soon as the other one pays the bills enough to where she can do that?

Alan Lazaros:

You and I did it, really weird. That's why it's hard for us, because we went all in and then we went into debt and you and I didn't have went into debt and you and I didn't have. Well, we were both in corporate, we both made more than six figures and we both had a nest egg. Mine was larger than yours, but we both had nest eggs.

Kevin Palmieri:

I had a baby baby nest egg.

Alan Lazaros:

Yeah, small, small nest egg, nest egg, financial nest egg. We didn't have any babies.

Kevin Palmieri:

No.

Alan Lazaros:

The expenses we had were also very low. Low. That's a superpower in the beginning of a business. So how do you know when it's time to quit a dream, when it's no longer worth it? That's. There's a question that I chat gpt earlier. It's have you ever heard of the magic question that therapists ask? No, I think you'll recognize it Magic question in therapy. Okay, it's the book Reset. That's where I got this. Okay, suppose that while you're sleeping tonight, a miracle happens the problems you've been facing are suddenly resolved. But because you were asleep, you don't know this has happened.

Alan Lazaros:

When you wake up tomorrow, what would be the first sign that tells you something is different? What else would you notice?

Kevin Palmieri:

Oh, that's, jeff.

Alan Lazaros:

Right. So what this does is it gets you to realize Okay, what would be different? So everyone think of their biggest problem Okay, money, whatever relationship, health, fitness, you name it. Okay, you wake up tomorrow, that's solved. How would you know? And this question therapists use because it helps you visually realize the things that actually need to change. So, for you, what's an example of a problem you're having? Hello, hello, hello, nlu listener. Thank you, as always, for listening to Next Level University. Real quick. I just want to jump in and let you know about the Next Level Dreamliner. This is a journal that I use every single day. Achieve your dreams 90 days at a time. It breaks down your dreams into goals, Milestones and daily habits. We hope you enjoy it. The link will be in the show notes.

Kevin Palmieri:

Um I would tie this back 10 pounds less than I do okay, all right, you wake up tomorrow.

Alan Lazaros:

You wake up tomorrow and that's that happened. But you don't know what happened. All right, what's the first thing you notice? What's the first thing you notice?

Kevin Palmieri:

I weigh myself first thing in the morning, so I would know immediately.

Alan Lazaros:

Okay, what would you notice if you didn't weigh yourself? That's a measurement. You'd look in the mirror and you'd be like, oh, yeah, I'd be like I'm jacked. Whoa Nice Okay.

Kevin Palmieri:

What else would?

Alan Lazaros:

be different. That would be about it. I'd look, I'd look better. I'd look better at the gym. Okay, what else? There's more stuff. I'd be more confident okay, yeah where else would you be more confident? In life, I'd be everywhere okay, so back to the last episode. We did the goal of the goal. What kevin really wants is to be more confident. Last one was, uh, truth of being all in.

Kevin Palmieri:

That's my bad, it's okay two episodes ago.

Alan Lazaros:

The goal of the goal. So you would be much more confident, right? Yeah, for sure okay, now what we do is ask ourselves okay, identify small, realistic, actionable steps that would help you move toward that. So how else could you be more confident?

Kevin Palmieri:

Get jacked. Nice, imagine trying to be my therapist. Get jacked. I can't imagine anything else, yeah, exactly, set and keep small promises to myself. Nice Set boundaries, nice A lot of ways for sure, all right.

Alan Lazaros:

So to bring this back, I'll never forget when I was in corporate, when I met my boss's boss's boss and I was like mm-mm, don't want that job. And then I went into my mind and I said I'm in trouble, I don't want to be at the top of the mountain I'm currently climbing. What does that mean? That means I've got to change, I've got to change trajectory. If you don't want to get to the top of the mountain that you're climbing, you're on the wrong mountain. If you do so for example, that question you wake up tomorrow 10 pounds lighter. Are you pumped? So then you do want to get to the top of that mountain. Of course, quote unquote. That's why that question is powerful. Uh, and I'll put the. I'll put the question in the show notes, by the way, for everybody, this is a famous therapy question. Suppose that while you're sleeping tonight, a miracle happens. The problems you've been facing are suddenly resolved. But because you were asleep, you don't know this has happened. When you wake up tomorrow, what would be the first sign that tells you something's different? What else would you notice? And this will get you realizing okay, interesting, that's what I'm really after. That's what I'm really after. That's what I'm really after, and then you can go to work on it. So I'll put that in the show notes, I'll send it to the team after this, um.

Alan Lazaros:

But if you ask yourself that question and then you realize I actually don't care that much about those things, then you probably should quit. Like, okay, let's imagine we're at 4 000 episodes. Let's imagine you're producing 150, 250 podcasts. Let's imagine you're doing everything you're doing right now, but an amplified version. Uh, let's imagine you're jacked. Let's imagine you're 40 years old. Okay, what are the things that you want to be different when you're 40 than right now? And then is the vehicle you're currently on bringing that? But if you do that exercise, it's called projection. I had one of my other clients look up projection. It's scientists call it the ability to project into the future. It's actually a skill that you have to develop, but neuroscientifically. But if you project into the future five years and you go, oh shit, I don't even know if I want, because there's a big difference between I'm quitting because it's too hard versus I'm quitting because I don't even want this.

Alan Lazaros:

I don't want to win I don't even want to win at this. Yeah that, I think that's it. I don't even want to win at this. Yeah that, I think that's it. Am I quitting because I'm afraid I'm going to lose? Or am I quitting because I don't even want to win at this game? Because that means you're playing the wrong game in this metaphor. Well, it goes back to.

Kevin Palmieri:

Do you not want to step up to the plate, nice? Or are you unsure? You even want to swing.

Alan Lazaros:

Is that it? No, I don't know if I'll ever get it. Are you afraid to strike out, yeah? Or are you unsure if you even want to hit a home run?

Kevin Palmieri:

Well, I tried to hit a home run there and I struck out. Unfortunately, For sure. Yeah, this is a tough one, see. I don't know, because I don't think anything like this is really that straightforward, because you have to weigh your own stuff and you have to figure out what's important to you.

Alan Lazaros:

How do you know you're on the right?

Kevin Palmieri:

path. I can't imagine being on any other one. Now, you could say two things about that. You could say, well, maybe you haven't been on enough paths to know Shit, you got me there. That's a good point. Or you have. How many paths have you been on that have been different than the one you're on? I've had a lot of freaking jobs Many, too many, and this is not a job. This is like. This is far different. So, yeah, no, I can't imagine it.

Alan Lazaros:

Last piece. This is something that's also very powerful to contemplate. Kev, let's say you win the lottery tomorrow.

Kevin Palmieri:

Yeah.

Alan Lazaros:

You win $10 million. Yeah, no, no let's do $100 million, nice, all right, $100 million. You win tomorrow $100 million, yeah, no, no, no. Let's do $100 million, nice, all right, $100 million. You win tomorrow $100 million. Yeah, what do you change that question? You don't have to answer it. If you want to, you can Get a new business partner. No, but seriously, if you would change that, that means you have the wrong business partner. That means you're there based on circumstance rather than desire.

Kevin Palmieri:

Yeah, I wouldn't change anything well then, that means you're on the path. That means more money in the bank. That was that would be, and I probably buy a car and a big house.

Alan Lazaros:

I buy some shit, but yeah, definitely get a house or that kind of thing. But those? That's a good question to ask, because those are your true desires. But if your answer was, oh my God, I'd quit my job, I'd leave my relationship, I'd get a. You know, whatever that means, I couldn't come up with a third one. That means that you obviously are not fully aligned. It's out of necessity rather than out of choice.

Kevin Palmieri:

I might head on down to the whatever store see what they have, see what's new, and if they have whatever I'm looking for, I might snag it, pick it up, bring it home, purchase it. Is that a joke? Yeah, you said whatever you could get whatever. I said, yeah, I'm going to head on down to the whatever store. Yeah, it was a joke. Oh, okay, so there is no whatever.

Alan Lazaros:

I don't think so Great idea, though With my 100 mil I could start a line of stores called the whatever store. You could, but isn't that fire? Because that will tell you what you want to change. Right there Now, kevin can go get a house and a new car.

Kevin Palmieri:

Yeah, not tomorrow. Well, I could if I had $100 million.

Alan Lazaros:

My point is, though, is now you can work towards that.

Kevin Palmieri:

Oh yeah, every day, working towards it every day, I think that's one of those things that's really hard, because when I'm on other podcasts, often I'll say again I don't know how to help you find your purpose. If I was that guy, if I was that guru who lived on top of a mountain, things might be different. I think I have some ideas on how to do it. One of my favorite questions is if you never had to work? If you never had to work another day in your life to make money, but you had to do something in the service of others or humanity, what would that look like? You can't sit margaritas on the beach all day. You have to do something. It's like physically, mentally, emotionally, cognitively do something. But I also understand that's like a pie in the sky question that can be really hard to answer.

Alan Lazaros:

Okay, Cool Go ahead.

Kevin Palmieri:

What's your next level lesson?

Alan Lazaros:

Next level lesson is fulfillment and regret. Try to go into the future and ask yourself if you actually are climbing the right mountain and if not, maybe don't put as much time and effort into that and put that time and effort into figuring out what mountain you do want to climb. All of us have to climb, we all need to pay bills, we all need to serve to Kevin's point, we all have to work like. And even if you don't have to work, you probably will choose to do something. A lot of the people that early mentors that are now retired as hell very wealthy retired they still work, they consult whatever Because they're bored. There's more to life than margaritas and golf, right? So what would you do in the service of others and ask yourself this question and see what comes up for you.

Kevin Palmieri:

I don't think I've ever had a margarita in my entire life, just FYI.

Alan Lazaros:

I don't think I have Honestly overrated, I believe it.

Kevin Palmieri:

I don't like tequila. Salt not for me yeah, not understandable. Next level lesson for me would be Hmm, yeah, do some projecting. Like Alan said, I think that's really the only way to reverse engineer regret is to put yourself into the future with the current awareness. You have to see if you regret it you dig it All right, cool, yes, sir, as always, we love you, we appreciate you, grateful for each and every one of you and NLU. We do not have fans, we have family. We will talk to you all tomorrow.

Alan Lazaros:

Stay next level, next level nation.

Kevin Palmieri:

Thanks for joining us for another episode of Next Level University. We love connecting with the Next Level family.

Alan Lazaros:

We mean it when we say family. If you ever need anything, please reach out to us directly. Everything you need to get a hold of us is in the show notes.

Kevin Palmieri:

Thank you again and we will talk to you tomorrow.

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Alan Lazaros

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Kevin Palmieri

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