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The Most Common Goal-Setting Mistake (2016)

• Kevin Palmieri and Alan Lazaros

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What if your goals secretly steal your joy instead of building your future? In today’s episode, Kevin and Alan explore why many people chase exciting goals but end up burnt out, frustrated, or stuck. They reveal the hidden mistake most goal-setters make—falling in love with the dream while ignoring the challenging, daily process it requires. You’ll hear relatable stories, real-life examples, and a powerful breakdown of aligning your goals with what matters to you.

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Show notes:
(4:01) The real struggle: Loving the process
(6:06) Success stories and long-term sacrifice
(8:34) Why goals matter more than lifestyle
(12:30) Pressure, responsibility, and fulfillment
(16:08) Productivity fuels a better life
(19:59) Pressure equals growth
(21:20) Join Next Level Live: A virtual, immersive event for those committed to growth, meaningful relationships, and a life they love. https://www.nextleveluniverse.com/next-level-live/
(24:21) Growth Vs. Quality of life
(27:28) Fears about success and perception
(31:14) Consumer Vs. Investor mindset
(35:49) Sustainable sacrifice and emotional rewards
(38:12) Partner alignment on goals
(40:43) Success takes pressure and struggle
(42:52) Outro

Send a text to Kevin and Alan!

Kevin Palmieri:

What if I told you that having goals that excite you just isn't enough. Goals that excite you is great, super important. Yes, obviously we want to accomplish the goal, but if we don't come to an admittance factor of what it's going to take to actually accomplish the goal, then we're most likely not going to do it. So, yes, an exciting goal is necessary, but also finding a process that we're willing to put up with, I think, is also equally, if not more, necessary.

Alan Lazaros:

Everybody can think of a time in their life where they set a goal and then they didn't end up achieving it, and one of the reasons why, I think, is that the moment you set a goal with a deadline, all of a sudden you're in the pressure cooker, you're up against something and you really don't get to wake up in the morning anymore and just kind of do what you want. You have to wake up in the morning anymore and just kind of do what you want. You have to wake up in the morning and go okay, what do I have to do today? What has to get done today?

Alan Lazaros:

Whether it's school, college deadlines, it is a lot of pressure, and I understand why. When you get out of corporate or you get out of your job or whatever it is in your personal life, the bigger and higher your goals are, the more you kind of can't do what you really want. However, without goals, you don't get to do what you want because you don't have enough money or enough success or whatever it is too. So it's such a double-edged sword that we're going to talk about today.

Kevin Palmieri:

Welcome to Next Level University. I'm your host, Kevin Palmieri.

Alan Lazaros:

And I'm your co-host.

Kevin Palmieri:

Alan Lazarus At NLU. We believe in a heart-driven but no BS approach to holistic self-improvement for dream chasers.

Alan Lazaros:

Our goal with every episode is to help you level up your life, love, health and wealth.

Kevin Palmieri:

We bring you a new episode every single day on topics like confidence, self-belief, self-worth, self-awareness, relationships, boundaries, consistency, habits and defining your own unique version of success.

Alan Lazaros:

Self-improvement in your pocket, every day, from anywhere, completely free.

Kevin Palmieri:

Welcome to Next Level University, next Level Nation today for episode number 2016,. The most common goal setting mistake. Again, we talk about goals a lot, we talk about goal setting a lot, but I think we're always learning more about it and the goal is always to add more value to that. Ellen and I were talking behind the scenes today and I was talking about how one of the hardest parts of this journey and, I think, goals in general is there's always an open loop. So, okay, we'll use this as an example.

Kevin Palmieri:

Let's say you're a dream chaser out there and your goal right now is to go get a new client or a new financial opportunity Awesome, that's a very, very small, that's a micro goal. Because you want to make a certain amount of money this quarter Awesome, that's a bigger goal. Because you want to make a certain amount of money and or accomplish something within the year Awesome, that's a bigger goal. And then, 10 years from today, you want to have a certain level of accomplishment from a financial perspective. Every time you close one loop, it almost opens the next loop a little bit more, and the hard part about that is the process. For her, it's almost like the process for closing the first loop is the same process for closing the biggest loop you have. It just takes like 50 times as long I was.

Kevin Palmieri:

I was saying this to alan. I have been super excited since we started talking about me in the future having a channel for cars. I don't know what I've been thinking about names. I'm super excited about it and I told alan I it seems so far away but it also seems so close and it's this weird thing where there's like so many loops that have to get closed before that's even an option and it's just a juggling act of so many different things. And then we got to the point where we were talking about.

Kevin Palmieri:

The hardest part about goals is it's not the fact that you lose desire to accomplish the goal. I think it's more the fact that we lose desire to practice the process, because the process oftentimes sucks. If the goal is something big, that's going to take a lot out of you. The process is most likely going to be big and long and challenging and confusing and overwhelming. That's also going to take a lot out of you. So the goal is amazing and that's the shiny top of the mountain, but the process is the climb that I think we just have to come to terms with and accept it. You don't have to love it, but I do think you have to accept it.

Alan Lazaros:

Well, I think that's a good metaphor is you want to climb a mountain and you want to be the type of person who can climb a mountain. You want to be able to say that you climbed a mountain, but then, during the hike, there's a couple times where it really, really, really sucks. Every time, emilia and I we've hiked seven, and there's always a moment where this is brutal. This is not good, and I think that that's. You can't want one without the other. And and it's such an interesting thing too, because whether it's a home on the beach or it's sending your kids to a certain college, being able to retire your family, a certain dream car, boat, whatever it is, I'll never forget Emilia's family. When they were in their 20s, they had these plates and they said these are the plates we want at our lake house one day and it took them 24 years or something like that 22 years and we were eating off those plates at the lake house. This is a couple of years ago now and I remember thinking that's really cool. It's really cool that you kept these plates that you wanted to have at the lake house, and now it's a I mean, it's a nice place and multiple homes and all that stuff, and that was, at one point, just a dream.

Alan Lazaros:

However, and this is the important piece of this, what about the 20 years of work? What I've come to understand and I'll try to make this land. How do I not use me? I'll use Em Amelia as an example. All right, amelia is crushing it right now. She's doing very well, very proud of her. She had a goal to buy a home by 27. That was her goal when she was like 20. And not a lot of people do that, especially not a home like this. I mean, this is really something. But everything between 20 and 27 was really brutal.

Alan Lazaros:

Everyone wants to buy a home, right Like that's. The first step is to have the dream or the goal, but everything after that is really, really brutal. There's the this really famous speech that went viral that I send to my clients regularly and if you're a client out there listening I haven't sent you this. Ask me for it. It's two and a half minutes or three and a half minutes, something like that. It's very short and it's a college basketball coach speaking to the team and it's talking about how life doesn't get easier. You learn how to handle hard better. You want to get married, you want to have children, you want to buy a home, you want to whatever. Nothing gets easier. I'm serious. Like this is. I know that I tend to be hardcore about this, but like life never will get easier. You and I have a very, very successful business. It's getting way more successful. Our life is not easier. It's sunday it is sunday.

Alan Lazaros:

We have an event, awesome. We have a 17 person team about to be 18. Awesome, none of our life is easier. Certain aspects of it are Okay. This is what I want to land. Emilia's crushing it right now. Very proud of her.

Alan Lazaros:

I want to use her as an example. She has very, very high goals. She is very, very driven. She has really high work ethic. She's definitely grinding, but here's the cool part she cares more about goals than she does about lifestyle. Guess who gets to have a great lifestyle? Emilia.

Alan Lazaros:

Emilia has an enviable lifestyle. She drives a really nice car. She lives in a gorgeous home we both do but I'm using her instead of me, and without her, there's no way we could have had this place okay without me same deal, by the way, but she is care. She cares more about goals than she does about lifestyle, which is why she has a great lifestyle. That is one of the base things that I really want to land in this episode. Things that I really want to land in this episode.

Alan Lazaros:

Syntax matters. If you get your car channel, sure, if you care more about cars than you do about your car channel, you won't be able to have a lot of cars like that, that paradox you can't care more about cars than you do about work ethic that buys cars and I really want that to land. Like, emilia has a magnificent lifestyle. Her family has a magnificent lifestyle, which, by the way, emilia has a magnificent lifestyle. Her family has a magnificent lifestyle, which, by the way, emilia is self-made.

Alan Lazaros:

She's done all this on her own, not without any generational wealth, except for her education. They helped with education but what I really want to land is she cares more about goals than she does lifestyle, which, paradoxically, is why she has a great lifestyle. I'm going to have a great lifestyle I kind of do in some ways, and I have a lot of things that a lot of people dream about, and I'm going to have a lot of things that a lot of people dream about, but what I want to really land in this episode is that that's because my focus is on goals, not on lifestyle. I need that conversation to be had. The people with the best lifestyle that I've seen mentors, different people are the people who care more about goals than they do about lifestyle.

Kevin Palmieri:

Well, I think it's hard to ask somebody to reorder something that has been that way for however long. Well, you did it To a degree. I mean, I still care about lifestyle, of course, but you care about goals more. I think I have enough proof now that goals increase lifestyle, but I didn't always. But I'm anxious about certain things, not bad anxious just like I want to get there faster. I want to get there faster. I want to get there faster, like to this day, like this car channel thing has. I'm so excited and again, it's not going to happen for a long time. But I'm so excited Because for me it's like I feel like that's something I've pushed down for so long. I was telling alan I'll I'll never forget my first, my second car ever, my first car was a 1997 white mustang with 145, 144 000 miles on it, zero to ten. How much do you love cars? I love cars at a very high level. My car aware like I'm not most likely going to fix cars myself. That's not. I don't like that.

Alan Lazaros:

Certain things. How much do you?

Kevin Palmieri:

love cars 10.

Alan Lazaros:

Yeah, it's very clear when you talk about them.

Kevin Palmieri:

I miss it, I miss it.

Alan Lazaros:

Yeah.

Kevin Palmieri:

I miss it so much Because it's and honestly, when you will achieve that dream.

Alan Lazaros:

You'll have a car channel one day, all this stuff. That'll be because you suppressed it for a while.

Kevin Palmieri:

That's the irony, I know, I know. But that's the problem is, I think you start to resent the pushing it down, like it keeps bubbling and bubbling, and I think that's why people make what seem like very unintelligent decisions, because eventually, I think it bubbles over.

Kevin Palmieri:

They're like ah fuck, I want to do this, I'm going to go do this and I think that's where it's potentially dangerous, Like jujitsu. Taryn asked me the other day. She said are you ever going to do martial arts again? And I said, if I have to choose between bodybuilding and martial arts, no, I'll most likely never do it again, I'd rather do bodybuilding. I said I don't think I'm going to have the luxury Eventually.

Kevin Palmieri:

I will but not for a long time. I'm not going to have the luxury of bodybuilding five times a week and doing jujitsu. It's just not realistic for me.

Alan Lazaros:

Well goals come with responsibility. And how do I make this land? Okay, I have an ex-mentor who was the ceo of a billion dollar company and he can have whatever lifestyle he wants within reason, like he, you know, whatever bahamas and private jet, all that stuff but I don't know if people understand how much responsibility he had to carry for decades before that. I wonder if there's like you can't just like achieve things without responsibility, that's not a thing, unless there's generational wealth and handouts, in which case that is a thing, or you're lying through your fucking teeth, which we hate. Okay. But think about Kevin's life right now. He's achieved many of his dreams. You are making more money than you ever thought, you'd make, you own your own business. That's all awesome and your lifestyle is going to improve over time, but only based on the level of responsibility you learn how to handle.

Alan Lazaros:

That's why I love the life doesn't get easier. Success does not make life easier. It doesn't. It makes you handle hard better. That's what it is, it's it's life doesn't get easier you handle hard better. That's what it is, it's life doesn't get easier you handle hard better.

Kevin Palmieri:

And I just don't. You get more resources too.

Alan Lazaros:

You get more resourceful, you get more resources, you get more skills and more awareness.

Kevin Palmieri:

Yeah, but that's all those help.

Alan Lazaros:

Those help. I was talking to a client yesterday and he was looking at his total productive output. It's a graph of how well he's done consistently in terms of productivity over the years. And he said dude, my old 100% is now my new 30% and you can see it on the graph. I said that's why I do that. This is next level university, next level, next level, next level, next level. It looks like a staircase and now he's getting 70, but his old 100 is 30 of that, meaning you're bettering your best, like kevin's most productive week. No, let me rephrase kevin's least productive week now is 10 times more productive than when we met, at least for sure, if not more, dude, it might be 50 times.

Kevin Palmieri:

Honestly, I don't know I wasn't doing a lot in the beginning, so there wasn't a lot going on in fairness.

Alan Lazaros:

And I don't think that lifestyle can be high if productivity isn't. Unless you have generational wealth or handouts or are lying that kind of thing. Yeah, because you have to wealth or handouts or are lying that kind of thing, yeah because you have to think what's going to produce the money?

Kevin Palmieri:

If it's a simple conversation, well, what's going to produce the money? Because I know there's a lot of people out there that have a negative association with productivity. Productivity is what creates the money. So, in theory, the more I learn, the more I grow, the more productive I can be, the more I can impact other people and that impact will translate in some way, shape or form, into money. And, in theory, the more productive I become, the higher likelihood I will have to find monetizable ways to use my value. As the example, we got a big client recently. Awesome, great. I would not be able, I would not be capable of working with this client five years ago 100%.

Kevin Palmieri:

I couldn't juggle all the things that need to be, I wasn't a good enough leader, I wasn't organized enough, I didn't know enough. Yet those are all a direct result of being more productive, and then that productive output making me more quote-unquote valuable. That's why productivity is so important.

Alan Lazaros:

Well said. So the client is paying a certain amount per month to have a certain level of responsibility on us instead of them.

Alan Lazaros:

Yes, I don't know if that's something that it's not taught in school. So again, I'm going off on that lately. You will be paid in proportion to the level of responsibility you can handle, and there's a bunch of quotes out there. I'll just say them all and then we'll explain them. So one of them is you will be paid in proportion to the level of the problems you solve. So if you solve a bigger problem, you get paid more in proportion. Again, there's nuances, it's not always the case, right? The other one is you get paid in proportion to the amount of responsibility you can handle. These are fundamental truths, though. So it's Sunday.

Alan Lazaros:

I was on a walk with Emilia earlier. It doesn't matter, I have to go work. Why? Because I'm the CEO of the company. Why? Because if I don't, the business doesn't succeed. Why Because then blah, blah, blah. So it's nice to be CEO, but I don't think. I honestly think that most people they always ask me like what's it like to be the CEO? And this is on other podcasts, obviously not necessarily when you're walking down the street.

Kevin Palmieri:

When you're walking down the street, people run up to you. What's it? Yeah, they're certainly not me wearing this. They're five by nines. Can you sign this? What's it like to be the ceo of nlu?

Alan Lazaros:

but you do. You do get that question a lot right because you're a founder and a ceo and that's a dream for a lot of people. A lot of people want to build their own companies. I'm telling you right now, if you knew what it took, you would stop that immediately. You would can that idea, and I'm not saying not to do it.

Alan Lazaros:

If you're out there and you want to build your own company, I think that that's great and you better be ready to work and I'm talking just crumble under the weight of massive responsibility Always. It never shuts off. Like everything is a problem all the time and I have to be available all the time to solve any problems that are. It's just a thing and I love that and I want that and I realized that I. The reason I want that is because that the more responsibility that I can shoulder, the more I can grow, and there's obviously some detriments to that if you're not careful. But if you want to get stronger legs, you have to squat more and more and more and more weight. If I want to be the best man I can be, I have to consistently take on more and more and more responsibility. That's actually one of the reasons I want to have children, because I want to take on more responsibility. I want to become the man capable of being a great father, and that's something I never had. So that's one of the reasons. But one of the other reasons is I want the responsibility. I know it'll make me a better man. It'll, it'll force me, it'll put me in the pressure cooker of making sure that I'm better.

Alan Lazaros:

I was thinking about this recently what's the difference between a Navy SEAL and a traditional, someone who just enlists? The difference is the Navy SEAL has way more pressure constantly, pressure constantly, pressure constantly and they become more capable through that. And I was thinking a lot about the amount of pressure that you can handle is in direct proportion to the amount you grow, and the amount you grow is in direct proportion to the amount you can achieve. And what I've come to understand. There's this home that Emilia and I were looking at and we're gonna purchase a home like this in the future and it's very expensive and blah, blah, blah. But the reason we are excited to do that well, number one, I know we can do it, but it's going to take another decade and but who I have to become as a man to achieve that level is really something I mean her, and I can't miss a trick.

Kevin Palmieri:

that's so rare. This is the question, this is the thought process, the, the conversation that I wanted to have. What do you think is more? Because I can't even ask you, because not for you, but for somebody else, that's not you, okay, you got to take yourself out of this. And no Emilia, and no Emilia.

Alan Lazaros:

Yeah.

Kevin Palmieri:

Okay, the Lazarus household cannot be brought into this conversation.

Alan Lazaros:

Tucker. What about for Tucker?

Kevin Palmieri:

Tucker yeah, we can involve Tucker. Okay, we can involve a little floof. Can the excitement for a specific goal override the miserable experience that it might take to get there? Or like, what's better to do? Is it better to say, okay, I'm going to set a goal and then, when the going gets rough which it? Will you find a way to make that goal more exciting? Or do you then revisit the board and say, honestly, I have to do this five times a week for the next five years. I don't know if I want this. What is the better way?

Alan Lazaros:

to go Whichever one's more fulfilling, and this is required with an understanding of what fulfillment is, and I do this with clients all the time, so I'm grateful you asked.

Kevin Palmieri:

Next Level Nation. We are very, very excited to announce that we are doing our first purely virtual Next Level Live. On April 5th 2025, from 10 am to 4 pm Eastern Standard Time, alan and myself will be live streaming from Worcester, massachusetts.

Alan Lazaros:

Next Level, live 2025. Be there, it's only $47 for a full day of personal development, self-improvement, holistic health, wealth, life and love.

Kevin Palmieri:

We have a global audience. Obviously, if you live somewhere else in the world, it's hard to come across the country or across the world for a one-day event, so we wanted to make sure it was accessible to everyone.

Alan Lazaros:

You're not going to get to the next level of your life by default. You're going to get there by design. Join us, design that next level. I have a client I'm thinking of who won't be fulfilled unless she achieves her massive goals. That person needs to figure out a way to do it, because they won't be fulfilled otherwise.

Kevin Palmieri:

How, what? What was she like before the goal? Miserable, Did she know why?

Alan Lazaros:

She does now. Okay, I think one of the main reasons people don't achieve their goals and you and I agree on this, kev is because of low self-awareness. If you have low self-awareness, you might think. I'm thinking of someone right now, anonymously, who thought she wanted to be a business owner and we got in and we coached for months and it was like we no, no, no, no, hell, no. You do not want this at all and that's okay. Of course, you want a two million dollar home on the beach, but you don't want the decade that's required to to do that. So, unless you're willing to give up a decade of misery because here's the thing, yeah, I'm, I'm unhappy to be recording on a Sunday, but I also want this and it's fulfilling, it'll be fulfilling. I won't enjoy this, I guess a little bit, but for the most part, it'll be fulfilling. It's fulfilling for me to do this work. Okay, take me out of the equation. There's some people who are meant to climb as high as humanly possible Because they won't be fulfilled if they don't, and then there's other people who really aren't that way, and this comes down to something that I really hope lands in this episode.

Alan Lazaros:

We have a part of group coaching that we used to teach before we started doing the podcast podcast accelerator group coaching program, and it was the three things. It's it's growth, contribution and quality of life. And it's the three things. It's growth, contribution and quality of life. And it's the syntax that matters. Kevin cares way more about quality of life than I do and ironically and this is the weird part, believe it or not because of that, I actually might have a higher quality of life than you. That's like the weird when it comes to like boats, and I think you will long term. Well. So I think that's a paradox. And again, I'm not trying to pit Kevin and I up against each other. He's going to do well too.

Alan Lazaros:

But one of the things that I've found, just as a scientist of like studying this and studying people in coaching, is anyone who has quality of life first is almost guaranteeing they don't have a high quality of life. They don't know that, they don't mean to, but if your goal is short term quality of life, you all, you basically guarantee that you don't have a high quality of life, because what it takes to have a high quality of life is an investor's mindset, not a consumer's mindset. And so an Emilia, for example. She has an investor's mindset, she thinks long term and she doesn't care about quality of life nearly as much. She definitely does more than me, but not nearly as much as most, and she'll have a higher quality of life long term than anyone who has quality of life as a focus.

Alan Lazaros:

And so, for everyone out there watching or listening, you've got to ask yourself growth, contribution or quality of life? Which one? Honestly? You've got to be real honest, because a lot of people are ashamed of having quality of life first, or maybe they're ashamed of having growth first. I certainly did.

Alan Lazaros:

I care way more about personal growth than I do about quality of life, for sure, and that's why I'll have a high quality of life long term. However, it'll also be brutal along the way, because I'm climbing for the climb, baby. I'm climbing for the growth and the contribution. So I'm one, two, three growth, contribution, quality of life. In that ordervin is two, three. One, which is contribution, first, quality of life, second, growth. Third, kev grows because he has to, not because he wants to.

Alan Lazaros:

100, and we've talked about this. I set goals to for what it will make of me to achieve them. You set goals for higher quality of life. You, we both grow, but it's for a different reason and I think everyone's wired a different way.

Alan Lazaros:

And when and when I do coach people to answer your original question I'm always trying to figure out which one is their priority. Not which one are they pretending is their priority, but which one deep down is actually the one they really care about deeply. Because I'm thinking of someone right now and she was like you know what? I'll take 25K pay cut Like I hate this job For me. I'll take 25k pay cut Like I hate this job For me.

Alan Lazaros:

I would not do that. I would just deal with it and find a way to get another job with higher pay. But that's because I don't want to climb down, I want to climb up. And if I do climb down, it's only because I want to eventually climb up. Like when I left corporate, that was hard for me to climb way down, but I knew long term it would be better. And so for everyone out there, are you driven by growth first? Are you driven by contribution and impact first? You want to contribute, contribute, contribute. Or are you driven by quality of life first? There's implications with each and you need to understand that and set your goals accordingly.

Kevin Palmieri:

Well, that would be a good next level lesson for everybody is figure out what your order is and be very honest. Again it's. It was very scary for me to admit that I like quality of life as much as I do. It was very because I'm I'm. I already have a fear, like there's already a fear of okay, I'm gonna start a channel for cars and again, I'm not, I'm probably not gonna wait until I have like a really, really. I mean at point, I'll start a channel where I do one video a week talking about a car and there's always going to be self-improvement injected in throughout and I can already imagine if and when the channel grows.

Kevin Palmieri:

People say like, hey, what do you do? How did all this happen? I have a self-improvement podcast. There's a part of me that's afraid people will judge that, the self-improvement part. No, not that, just like I don't know. Just oh, you're, I don't know You're taking advantage of your audience or whatever. There's a fear of that for sure, because it's supposed to be altruistic. Like, oh, you have a self-improvement company that's focused on helping people, like that's got to be the main focus. Well, it is. I mean, just look at the resume. Right, we do an episode every day. We have 2,000 episodes. Like. You'll never get charged to listen to this podcast, unlike what a lot of other creators are doing. So that's always going to be a thing, but it's just a fear of mine that I think sometimes people, there's two ways it can go. Self-improvement equals fake money grab which there is a lot of that out there for sure. Or self-improvement equals super aligned, don't ever ask for anything, type.

Kevin Palmieri:

Yeah which can't sustain, which can't sustain. But my, my goal of sharing that is. Even I'm still a little bit scared of that. So if you are, it's totally fine. I mean, it's totally understandable.

Alan Lazaros:

Yeah, I appreciate you sharing. I think a lot of that is just a misunderstanding from people's perspective. They don't realize I mean you're adding value with a car channel. Well, yeah, YouTube is free for a reason. It's free because there's ads. It's not actually free, Like nothing's actually free. But I don't think other people necessarily. Again, I don't know if people are taught that that's what I would say. I don't think we're taught that. The truth is that Facebook isn't free.

Kevin Palmieri:

You isn't free.

Alan Lazaros:

You have to see ads and I remember the old days where there were far less ads. That was nice. Yeah, well, it started out free. That's how all internet companies start, right? Well, and even the car channel is.

Kevin Palmieri:

The reason I'm starting a car channel is because it will help bring people to nlu right and not starting people just because it's more of like there's a that's a core value of mine.

Kevin Palmieri:

It's almost like if I started a channel about mixed martial arts which I'd never do, but imagine if I did that and it was like that was something that introduced people to self-improvement. Oh okay, I I think of it all the time, like I follow some pretty big people on YouTube that have a lot of really nice cars and they have really nice YouTube channels. If they dropped in some self-improvement and then had a spinoff series of self-improvement, I'm sure people would tune in.

Alan Lazaros:

Of course.

Kevin Palmieri:

I'm sure. So that's kind of what I'm envisioning in the long run for that.

Alan Lazaros:

I know we got to jump. The thing that I hope the listeners or viewers take away is re-evaluate the goals and the size of them based on your orientation. I know some people that I've coached that they love their quality of life, they want to wake up when they want, they want to do what they want, they don't want a ton more responsibility, and the truth is you're never going to build a really, really successful business with that mentality unless you lie, and that's I just want to be honest so that you don't waste time, because that's the one thing we never get back. I think it's important to orient around what you value and I've never understood that more than I do now, for sure and so if you care about quality of life first, you should probably get a job that allows you to have a high quality of life and then learn how to.

Alan Lazaros:

This will hopefully land there's consumers and there's investors. Investors are people who think very long-term and they short-term sacrifice for long-term gain. That's an investor mindset. A consumer pays up front and gets what they want, and they get it now. And if you have quality of life first as your of the three growth contribution quality of life then that means that most likely, you need to spend your money first, invest second. For Kevin and I, we've been investing first, spending second, and that's a long-term game, but I've been fulfilled as hell along the way, more so than you, it sounds, for sure.

Kevin Palmieri:

Yeah.

Alan Lazaros:

But I also I think that that's really the tell is you're on the path. If you're fulfilled, you're on the path if you're fulfilled. I wouldn't be fulfilled just hanging out. I would hate that so much. Like I now, I would like to have Sundays and I still work on sundays. I don't want to necessarily do front facing on sundays, but at the end of the day, design it comes down to designing the life that you love. We used to talk about that all the time. Like design, a life you love, and hopefully it's one that incrementally gets better over time, not worse. And I think that that, as long as you're setting the groundwork to make sure your future is brighter than your past, in alignment with what fulfills you, I'm all for it and I'm here to help.

Kevin Palmieri:

I think a good label would be sustainable sacrifice. Yeah, a lot of people say like ah no, you shouldn't have to sacrifice. I think you 100% you're going to have to trade something for something. It just is the way it is. Can you do the lobster thing? That was fire. I don't know if it actually was or not, it was just an example. But we were talking about where we were going to go in this episode and I said I think of it like you go to a restaurant and you see lobster on the menu and you say I could go for some lobster. I'm in, I'm in, yeah, one of the lobster please. And they say, yeah, that'll be $75. Is that good with you?

Kevin Palmieri:

And you're like hmm, I don't really like lobster that much. How much are the chicken nuggies 11? I'll take the chicken nuggies. If you really like lobster and you have the resources, you'll pay $75. I don't like lobster. I don't care if it's $11. I'm going to get the chicken nuggies, but what?

Alan Lazaros:

if you do love lobster and then you set goals where you can easily afford lobster when you want it, yes. However, that means you're going to have to work a lot harder than someone who says I only ever care about chicken nuggies.

Kevin Palmieri:

Yeah, it means you might not be able to have lobster in the interim.

Alan Lazaros:

Now, real quick, let me geek out and break this down for a second. The reason the lobster is $75 is because there's not a lot of lobster and the people who have lobster pots who pay for those, they have to go and catch the lobster. So there's people that need to work Like it's not just hey, lobster is $75. It's lobster is rarer than chickens. Therefore it takes more, costs, a lot more, to get the lobster on that plate. I just wonder. Again, I know that's economic stuff, but there's a reason. A Lamborghini is more money than a Toyota. It's because it's way harder to design and it costs way more money to get those resources and do that stuff right. So and again, I know there's some exceptions with the Louis Vuitton, it's the same bag, blah, blah, blah. But at the end of the day, lobster is rarer and harder to catch and harder to cook and harder to acquire and requires a lot more cost to get it to your plate. Therefore, they have to charge more, otherwise they go out of business.

Kevin Palmieri:

It also tastes like garbage, so you can have it. It's have to charge more otherwise they go out of business. It also tastes like garbage so you can have it, enjoy, enjoy. Can you give a little on that? Because now that you I mean you know all that stuff. Well, I, yeah, yeah, it's, it's. Uh, anytime you go to like a nice restaurant you want to order fish, it says market based on market or market price and essentially.

Kevin Palmieri:

Essentially, the reason it's never the same is because it costs a different amount to get the fish in, depending on where they're getting it from, depending on the season, depending on the time of year, depending on what the fish cycles look like. So, yeah, it's just like anything else Supply and demand. If you go to Home Depot, there's odds are that there's going to be things that are way more expensive than they used to be because it costs way more money to get them into Home Depot. Yeah, supply and demand. The last thing I would say on this Next level lesson Next level lesson, I already gave mine, but I'll give version two.

Kevin Palmieri:

I think this is something that you just continue to uncover and uncover and uncover over time. I said this to Alan the other day We've gotten some big clients and we've had some big wins and I said I need a little taste. I said I need a little taste, I need a little celebration, I need to do something. All I was saying to Alan was I need a lifestyle hit. I'm investing. I'm just investing so much right now. I need just give me a little taste.

Alan Lazaros:

I'm not asking for much, just give me a little noug.

Kevin Palmieri:

I was looking at 85, 90-inch TVs. I got one for you man, I know. I know, but I was blown away by the price and how affordable they were.

Alan Lazaros:

I just feel so much more productive.

Kevin Palmieri:

I just fill my cup so much more. You think a 65-inch?

Alan Lazaros:

TV fills your cup, God. It makes me look like such a villain. This is brutal.

Kevin Palmieri:

Yeah, that's why I'm doing it.

Alan Lazaros:

No, it's just. In the past we've been, you know, make money, spend money. It's just right.

Kevin Palmieri:

Well, I think that's the other piece of it too is we could easily, it's just we shouldn't there are two. There are two, and then this is the conversation of you, shouldn't. What, if that's the thing that unlocks me a little bit more and I know I'm smiling when I say that, but seriously, yeah, the thing that unlocks me a little bit more, and I know I'm smiling when I say that, but seriously, that's.

Kevin Palmieri:

the other thing is if I get a lifestyle increase, I have felt and again, dangerous game. I have felt drastically different since we got a couple of those big clients. I feel completely different as a human. That's dangerous because that can fuck the whole thing up for sure. But for me there is something to be said about the environment really rubbing off on emotions.

Alan Lazaros:

Well, it makes sense because if quality of life is important to you and you work your butt off to get a big client and then see no quality of life improvement but growth it's like oh, I've grown so much Awesome, love that. Huge fan, Show it to me though.

Kevin Palmieri:

Like where Point to the thing, Point to the thing.

Alan Lazaros:

Well, you know as well as I do we're coming up Again. We're going to be doing a lot in the next few years. So it's not like you know. You know we won't get a house, all kinds of stuff, okay. So at the end of the day, we're working our butt off and that's great, and we're adding tons of value and growing the company. And for anyone out there, figure out what you need to keep gas in the tank.

Kevin Palmieri:

That's the best way to put it, and Alan is the villain in my, in my life. I just want to make sure that everybody knows that.

Alan Lazaros:

No, I'm totally kidding Without me, man. No, here we go, it's, it's it's facts, that's.

Kevin Palmieri:

That is a fact without you, yeah, who knows there would be, I'm a part of the equation. I would say that for sure. But I think that is an important conversation to have if you and your partner are different. That's I. I had a talk with taryn. I said there's no travel this year. Yeah, we went to scotland last year. That cost me way more than I thought it was going to. Like that was an we shouldn't have done that. We did too soon. We should have waited.

Alan Lazaros:

I need some time. Again because you guys want to get a house. We're not just saying you shouldn't travel. I really want to. I think we need to do better at unpacking things.

Kevin Palmieri:

Me more than anything. It's because of the goals.

Alan Lazaros:

It's because of the specific goals we have set over this year and the next Do you want to travel to Scotland again or do you want to get a house? There's trade-offs, other things.

Kevin Palmieri:

I want a giraffe and I want to travel and I want a house and I want a car, but if your orientation is different than your partner's, that's a conversation worth having, for sure, just like you and I are very honest with each other about that Well, emilia likes to travel a lot more than I do too. So we're going to the lake next week, next weekend as well. That's Alan's version of travel.

Alan Lazaros:

We're going to drive 45 minutes to you know it, a different place. That's a good place. It's real nice. I've heard things. It's real nice For me.

Kevin Palmieri:

I want to get on a plane. If I'm going to travel, I'd like to get on a plane.

Alan Lazaros:

You don't like planes.

Kevin Palmieri:

I'm coming around on them. I'm coming around on them.

Alan Lazaros:

My goodness, when you set goals, there is sacrifice. We have a thing called the five S's of success. It's sacrifice, struggle, suffer, success and then sustain. We're just in a phase where there's a lot of sacrifice, struggle and suffer, and that's okay, and that's literally how you get to the next level. I don't want to be the villain in this, but I need to. I mean, I coach people and I'm telling you, I literally say to them constantly like, do not stop, you've got momentum. You're killing it. Don't step off the gas, because I promise you this will not continue. Right, the fish are jumping in the boat right now. Keep fishing, don't go frolic. Right now, I'm telling you, we all know, we all know, I mean, when summer comes around and you're on the beach, you're going to either be pumped that you put in the work during the winter or you're going to be wildly sad about it, and it's going to be the people who put in the work that won. And that's the truth. And this is Next Level University. This is not.

Alan Lazaros:

You know, this is not. We're here to help you succeed and be fulfilled. In that order.

Kevin Palmieri:

If anybody has any ideas for the name of my car channel, just let me know. Reach on out personally. I'm happy to take any into consideration. Also, if you have any ideas what kind of sweet treat I should purchase myself, let Alan know and really sell it, really sell it hard.

Alan Lazaros:

No, I'm kidding Alright.

Kevin Palmieri:

Next Level Live 2025. April 5th from 10am till 4pm Eastern Time. There'll be breakout sessions. Alan and I are going to bring the best next level stuff that we have and again, sometimes you need to be reminded more than you need to be taught. So will you have heard things that day that we've said before? Possibly, but hopefully you will be reminded of things that you have forgotten. Tickets are only 47. You get access to the replay and you can pop in and out. You don't have to come and stay for the whole day. I know saturday's a tough ask, but that's why we wanted to make sure everybody had access to the replay. Link will be in the show notes.

Alan Lazaros:

We are at a place during the year where a lot of our new year's resolutions have gone to the wayside. If you want a mario kart booster to kick start you into spring, to crush the rest of the year, this is going to be it. Join us. This is next level university, next level version of you. We're not going to tell you how you should be, but we're going to present some things that can help you get to your own next level goals are hard, is not easy. It's never going to be easy. You handle hard better, you grow and you contribute, and then that improves your quality of life over time. I'm super pumped for this event. I think it's going to be awesome. It's going to be wildly more valuable than 47 bucks. We're keeping it low on purpose to make it affordable.

Kevin Palmieri:

It's going to be buy the Lobster for $47, save it and invest in yourself.

Alan Lazaros:

Nice.

Kevin Palmieri:

If you're going to buy a 90-inch TV, buy the TV. I'm kidding, I'm kidding, I'm kidding. Well, if you're going to buy the TV, then come to the event and you can connect your laptop to the TV.

Alan Lazaros:

Yeah, that's the best of both worlds, right there.

Kevin Palmieri:

So, yeah, we'll have the link in the show notes for that. We would love to have you there. We're only selling 50 tickets because we want to make sure it's a quality group of humans. So that's that. As always, we love you, we appreciate you, grateful for each and every one of you, and at NLU we don't have fans, we have family.

Alan Lazaros:

We will talk to you all tomorrow at Next Level, next Level Nation.

Kevin Palmieri:

Thanks for joining us for another episode of Next Level University. We love connecting with the Next.

Alan Lazaros:

Level family. We mean it when we say family. If you ever need anything, please reach out to us directly. Everything you need to get a hold of us is in the show notes.

Kevin Palmieri:

Thank you again and we will talk to you tomorrow.

People on this episode

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Alan Lazaros

Host
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Kevin Palmieri

Host