Next Level University

What Does Alignment Actually Mean? (2021)

• Kevin Palmieri and Alan Lazaros

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What if the reason you're not reaching your goals isn’t a lack of effort—but misalignment? In this energizing episode, Kevin and Alan unpack what alignment really means in your personal growth journey. They explain why understanding your path and who you're becoming matters more than just hitting milestones. With relatable stories, practical coaching insights, and a few fun moments, you’ll come away with greater clarity on how to measure progress and make better choices.

Learn more about:
Next Level Live 2025 - https://www.nextleveluniverse.com/next-level-live/
Saturday, April 5th, 2024 (10:00 am to 4:00 pm EST)

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NLU is not just a podcast; it’s a gateway to a wealth of resources designed to help you achieve your goals and dreams. From our Next Level Dreamliner to our Group Coaching, we offer a variety of tools and communities to support your personal development journey.

For more information, please check out our website at the link below. 👇

Website 💻  http://www.nextleveluniverse.com

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We love connecting with you guys! Reach out on Instagram, Facebook, or via email. We’re here to support you in your personal and professional development journey.

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Kevin: https://www.instagram.com/neverquitkid/
Alan: https://www.instagram.com/alazaros88/

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Alan: https://www.facebook.com/alan.lazaros
Kevin: https://www.facebook.com/kevin.palmieri.90/

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Kevin@nextleveluniverse.com
Alan@nextleveluniverse.com

LinkedIn ✍
Kevin: https://www.linkedin.com/in/kevin-palmieri-5b7736160/
Alan: https://www.linkedin.com/in/alanlazarosllc/

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Show notes:
(2:25) Destination Vs. Alignment measurement
(4:22) Compass, degrees, and alignment examples
(8:55) Why deeper understanding creates self-belief
(13:43) Coaching as a compass
(20:23) Questioner, rebel, and self-awareness
(22:48) Join Next Level Live: A virtual, immersive event for those committed to growth, meaningful relationships, and a life they love. https://www.nextleveluniverse.com/next-level-live/
(28:00) Regret and alignment with values
(31:45) Real growth Vs. Faking success
(36:10) “Best so far” mindset
(43:46) Outro

Send a text to Kevin and Alan!

Kevin Palmieri:

One of the most common words you hear nowadays in personal development is alignment, and I think a lot of people use it and I'm convinced that a lot of people don't know what it actually means. Like a lot of things, we say it, we think about it, but we don't actually know what it means or how to do it we're going to talk about alignment.

Alan Lazaros:

One of the reasons a lot of people don't achieve their goals as quickly as they want to is because they are off course a lot of the time. I've talked about the one in 60 rule. I coach, used to coach. Now, emilia, does a airline pilot Shout out to you if you're out there listening? But there's the one in 60 rule where if you are one degree off course in an airplane when you're 60 miles down the way for lack of better phrasing you're actually a mile off course. You're actually a mile off course. So with our goals it's the same way. If you spend a lot of the time out of alignment, you're going to take a lot longer to get to your goals.

Kevin Palmieri:

Welcome to Next Level University. I'm your host, Kevin Palmieri.

Alan Lazaros:

And I'm your co-host, Alan Lazarus.

Kevin Palmieri:

At NLU, we believe in a heart-driven but no BS approach to holistic self-improvement for dream chasers.

Alan Lazaros:

Our goal with every episode is to help you level up your life, love health and wealth.

Kevin Palmieri:

We bring you a new episode every single day on topics like confidence, self-belief, self-worth, self-awareness, relationships, boundaries, consistency, habits and defining your own unique version of success.

Alan Lazaros:

Self-improvement in your pocket, every day, from anywhere, completely free.

Kevin Palmieri:

Welcome to Next Level University, next Level Nation. Today for episode number 2021 what does? Alignment actually mean. The reason we're laughing is because alan and I are very close to having mental breakdowns.

Alan Lazaros:

I'm laughing because that intro was not great it was hot garbage.

Kevin Palmieri:

It was down the way, down the way, oh the way. Oh man, better luck next time. Better luck next time. What does alignment actually mean? I was actually thinking of an episode like this, but you want to go kind of in a different direction than I do, so I'm just going to kick it to you and then we'll see where we end up.

Alan Lazaros:

Well, so I was on with a client not long ago. I've been doing this with team members, clients. It's kind of a new distinction for me. I realized that obviously everyone out there who's a long term listener you know that I'm big on measuring things metrics, numbers and for the new listeners, this will be new to you. But there's two different types of measurements that I use and I wanted to be as clear as I could with the team members and with the people I coach about the difference between the two. So I pulled up whiteboard. I'm going to try to articulate this the best that I can, hopefully better than I did in the intro. Wow, so on the left side of the screen, picture A to B, an arrow, and that's what I'm referring to as a destination measurement. In other words, if you're a 6 out of 10, kev, you still have 4 to go 6 out of 10 in terms of alignment with goal no Alignment with Destination measurement.

Alan Lazaros:

Let's say you want to do 10 pounds in 10 weeks. Let's say you're 6 weeks in and you're 6 pounds down. You're at a 6 out of 10.

Kevin Palmieri:

Okay.

Alan Lazaros:

So it's a destination measurement, meaning you still have four weeks to go, four more pounds to go.

Kevin Palmieri:

Okay.

Alan Lazaros:

Okay. So if I said zero to ten, how aligned are you? That's a different measurement. This is an alignment measurement. Okay, an alignment measurement is more okay.

Alan Lazaros:

Here's picture the bottom of the page is past Kevin, the middle of the page is past Kevin, the middle of the page is current Kevin and the top of the page is best self future Kevin. Okay, and then put from past Kevin to current Kevin squiggly lines up down sideways all the way. You ever see that thing in success? People think success is a straight line and it's actually all over the place. Yes, yeah, okay, picture that. Because the problem with our goals and dreams and our highest self is we're out of alignment a lot of the time. Okay, now picture current kevin with best future kevin and then picture a straight line up. That would be a 10.

Alan Lazaros:

If you're out of alignment, let's say okay. So let's say your goal is 10 pounds in 10 weeks, awesome, okay. So let's say you're eating in a caloric surplus, you're not going to the gym, you're out of alignment. Okay, how many degrees off are you? Are you 30 degrees off? Are you 50 degrees off? Are you 180 degrees? So it's kind of like a compass. This is a compass measurement I have to take out my protractor. Well, the true North is full alignment. That would be a 10 out of 10. If you're 30 degrees off, let's call that a seven out of 10. And so when I ask my clients okay, so for you, one of the things that you track is fitness. I asked you this recently how in alignment are you in fitness Zero to 10, nine out of 10.

Alan Lazaros:

Now that doesn't mean that his goal is a ten and he's at a nine in terms of destination, in terms of distance. It means that you're in alignment with your best kevin, your best self, your goals and dreams, and I think that the only thing missing now is time. So, as a coach, it's my job to be the compass to help you align with your best self and then create milestones and goals in alignment with that.

Kevin Palmieri:

Here's a really good thought. Are you ever really 10 out of 10 aligned? 10 out of 10 aligned? Because you can't be, because you don't know what 10 out of 10 alignment is, until you get there and realize, until you get to the next level beyond it and realize it wasn't optimal. Yep.

Alan Lazaros:

So, and that's a consciousness thing, that's an asymptote, yes, Did you see the post I did today? No.

Kevin Palmieri:

And I'm sorry to disappoint you. I didn't, seriously no, oh Look, I'm out here running a global business. I think I have time to be on facebook looking at your posts. You know what I mean I had someone reach out.

Alan Lazaros:

Your speech is still on my mind. Your psychology is very interesting. I'm doing calc work and I'm thinking about how you said your ability to fulfill your potential is like an asymptotic function oh yeah, I did see that I had.

Kevin Palmieri:

No, I was like what the? What the hell are? They talking about oh, okay, asympt, okay, asymptote. I knew immediately this must have been somebody from the engineering school.

Alan Lazaros:

Yeah, it was yeah 100%.

Kevin Palmieri:

That's it. No, no, it was actually from the house down the street.

Alan Lazaros:

You ever see. This is going to be a throwback. Let's do it. The very first American Pie movie. I saw that movie way too young and I told Amelia I don't, I don't want you to come into my office see me watching american pie. Uh, so I just told her I'm trying to figure out where my consciousness was when I was like. I think I saw that movie when I was eight or nine or ten or eleven. I had an older sister it was vhs and I watched it again to see kind of where my head was at. It wasn't that bad, by the way.

Kevin Palmieri:

I thought it was going to be way worse.

Alan Lazaros:

I really did it was. It was pretty funny. But anyways, my point is there's a scene in it where they're showing up to a party and, uh, the, the band geeks, quote unquote show up and say hey, we're here for the party. He's's like there's no party. Someone comes over with a beer. He's like yeah, party he's like weird, Try the house down the street.

Kevin Palmieri:

Was it Sean William Scott that did that? Yeah, yeah, yeah, I can imagine.

Alan Lazaros:

That's what that made me think of. I can imagine.

Alan Lazaros:

The house down the street. Okay, so I said this. I'm grateful it's still impacting you. Thank you for reaching out and letting me know. Like I tried to share during the speech, my only hope was to inspire everyone to think differently and to hopefully open their mind up to their own unique potential and their bigger, better and brighter future. That's possible for them and, ultimately, that's what NLU is about, which is okay. We want to help you be the best version of yourself. Want to help you be the best version of yourself. Okay, how do we do that, I often ask. Okay, if I were to ask kev, how aligned are you in fitness? You gave me a nine. In this measurement, 10 out of 10 would be the most aligned you've ever been. Would you still give yourself a nine?

Kevin Palmieri:

yeah, I'm not the most aligned I've ever been okay.

Alan Lazaros:

Okay, let's say, you did give me a 10.

Kevin Palmieri:

That doesn't mean that you can't get more aligned.

Alan Lazaros:

Yeah, now it's a matter of time. But then on that journey you get more awareness. This is why it gets so confusing, because your 10, let's say you're 16 again your 9 right now would have been a 500. Back then you didn't know what the hell you were doing, right, you just went in and lifted, did pushups or whatever. So alignment is predicated on consciousness, aka your understanding.

Alan Lazaros:

Kevin and I have argued in the past about what's more valuable tactics or deeper understanding, and I always voted for deeper understanding. And the reason why is if I have a new client that I'm about to have and I'm going to help her get a new career, she's going to sign up for 12 weeks of career development Awesome. The only reason why I know that I can help her succeed in her career is because I know what business owners are looking for. I know what is needed in the industry. I know how to make her resume and cover letter really good. I know how to help her with interview skills. I have absolute confidence that she's going to crush it. But the only reason I know that is because I've went out and learned all those things through my own experience, and so when you're young, you just don't know anything, so your ability to actually align with your goals and dreams is very minimal.

Kevin Palmieri:

I still think tactics is the way. I think I have to say that now forever, I can't just come over to your side. We have to have opposite stances on that, I think.

Alan Lazaros:

Why it's just like the teach a man to fish, stubbornness mostly.

Kevin Palmieri:

I think, well, that's a very deeper understanding of you. Well, that's the thing Teach someone to fish or give them a fish. I think you give them a fish while you teach them how to fish. That's my thing, that's what I was like. Isn't that the ideal outcome?

Alan Lazaros:

Agreed, so you're used to be just give a fish.

Kevin Palmieri:

Yeah, I think it's because I wanted fish given to me. What do you want now?

Alan Lazaros:

more fish given to me.

Kevin Palmieri:

You're full of it, man well, I tend to be somebody who's very curious, so I use a lot of google and youtube to for deeper understanding. I mean, you can only get so much right. That's the thing. And again, this is off on a tangent completely. But there's a lot of tactics out there. I mean, if I'm I'm willing to bet I don't know the data on this, but I'm willing to bet the most commonly searched thing is probably how to insert anything after, how to whatever, how to change a tie or how to blah, blah, blah. Those are essentially all tactics. So I think that's what most people are looking for, not necessarily what would best serve them well, that's my point, right.

Alan Lazaros:

Tactics have become commoditized yeah, it's fair there was a time back in the day when a computer was a luxury.

Alan Lazaros:

Now it's a commodity and in some places it still is a luxury by the way, I didn't mean to be inconsiderate with that, but okay, shoes are a commodity. At one point they were brand new and they were a luxury, right. So tactics are a commodity. Now you can google, search or chat, gpt or whatever. So deeper understanding is more valuable because it's more scarce. When I went and spoke to the engineers last week, that was one thing that was noticeable. It was okay, you guys just don't understand as much and I didn't either when I was 20. But because they don't know, they don't understand as much, they can't make, they can't align. You're not going to set a goal that you're not aware you can achieve.

Kevin Palmieri:

Well I think that's why goal setting is so hard.

Alan Lazaros:

This is a conversation I want to have with you, brother. Seriously, we've never. I don't know if we've ever had this conversation before. Maybe we did, but way back. We talked a lot on the show about self-belief what if self-belief is just awareness of what is doable.

Alan Lazaros:

I think it goes back to the doable, personally doable. Well, that's awareness. Still, because Kevin and I have argued about tactics and deeper understanding. We've argued about self-belief versus awareness. He says knowledge isn't power. I say, well, technically it is if you're aware, aware, what's the difference between knowledge and awareness? Right, so okay, if I'm aware. Okay, the reason why you're 10 out of 10, certain you can lose 10 pounds in 10 weeks, is because you're aware of how to, exactly how to do it. Yes, yeah, what if self-belief is just awareness tied to an individual?

Alan Lazaros:

I think it's certainty, exactly that's why, deeper understanding is so powerful If you know how to build a business and you know exactly how to do it, but you still got to do it, though. But you won't do it unless you know how to do it.

Kevin Palmieri:

I know, but you got to do it long enough and I think certain Okay, what do you look for when you get stuck? You look for a tactic when you get stuck no, no, I look for a deeper understanding of why I'm stuck. I look for a tactic, so based on a deeper understanding, though, I'm coaching, coaching a 25-year-old.

Alan Lazaros:

Shout out to you, brother, and I tried to explain the compass thing. I'm his compass. It's not about me telling him where I think he should go. It's about me uncovering what he's capable of and then helping understand what he values and then helping him set goals based on his values, and then I'm more aware of how to achieve it than he is, because I'm more aware about life.

Alan Lazaros:

So if you are lost, imagine before a gps you, you go, get a map. The map tells you where to go. That's all coaching is. I've already done it, and if I haven't, I've certainly helped someone else who has real estate, whatever it is. So I'll just be your compass. So if you're not aligned, I can tell better than you can tell. So there have been times in the past where I've come to kevin, said, hey, brother, like, of course this isn't. You. Come to me with an idea and you ask and I appreciate it very humble you say, like, is this a terrible idea? Is this a good idea? Well, the reason you're asking me is because you're trusting my awareness over your own.

Kevin Palmieri:

That's a piece of it. I mean, and you're my business partner right and we get final say so it's like I kind of need your approval, right like.

Alan Lazaros:

You know what I mean. Yeah, but that wasn't always the way it was, because our combined awareness is better than just mine. My awareness plus yours is much better than just yours, for sure. So that's why we have a discussion, that's why we brainstorm. And you say, hey, you think this is a good idea. And I say, well, no, because of this, this and this. And you say, hey, you think this is a good idea. And I say, well, no, because of this, this and this. You say, well, what about this, this and this? And I go, oh, I hadn't thought about okay, well, what if we did it this way? That's why it's so powerful, because and again, this is me going back to what we talked about a couple weeks ago, which is collective consciousness. Like, consciousness is a really overused, silly word, but picture kevin and I right now, if you're on youtube, and then picture a collective consciousness above our heads. You and i's consciousness together is much more holistically aware than just yours or just mine.

Kevin Palmieri:

What is the math behind the sum is greater than what is it? The whole is greater than the sum of its parts. What is the math behind the sum is greater than what is it?

Alan Lazaros:

The whole is greater than the sum of its parts.

Kevin Palmieri:

What is the math behind that?

Alan Lazaros:

Multiplication instead of addition, that's all it is so if I'm a nine and you're a seven, in consciousness, nine times seven is a lot more than nine plus seven is basically what that is Interesting.

Kevin Palmieri:

But why do you?

Alan Lazaros:

ask AI something. Ai has collective consciousness. I usually ask it how.

Kevin Palmieri:

I can see your chats, right, and you can see my chats. I'm willing to bet yours are way more deep understanding and mine are all how-to. But how-to comes from deeper understanding, brother brother, I think what happens for me is I get it, you know hold on, sorry.

Alan Lazaros:

If you know everything about a car and everything about how it works and how the engine works and how the circuitry works, all of it, you now you have all the how.

Kevin Palmieri:

but I think I think tactics are specific depth, as opposed to going and learning the whole thing about everything. I want to learn one thing about the tire how do I change a tire? I want to know that. I don't want to know how the whole fucking car works Fair.

Alan Lazaros:

I want to know how to change the tire. That's fair.

Kevin Palmieri:

I'm on the side of the road. I don't know what the hell I'm doing.

Alan Lazaros:

Yeah, that's fair. I think that, okay, that landed, because time in versus results out. Tactics are quick.

Kevin Palmieri:

Yes, I'll give you that, I think for me, I'm a day-to-day, I want quick, I want perceived progress, and I think tactics are perceived Because you can go do something input, output Ah, didn't work the way I thought it was going to. Okay, why?

Alan Lazaros:

But long term that's holding you back.

Kevin Palmieri:

Are we assuming that I'm not getting deeper understanding? Also, though, because, in your end, you're assuming that you're taking action.

Alan Lazaros:

Yeah.

Kevin Palmieri:

This is fun. This goes back to theory versus practice.

Alan Lazaros:

This is why you're so quick to implement. You don't need to understand the whole thing, you just need to do the next thing.

Kevin Palmieri:

I think it's better if I don't understand the whole thing. In a way, long-term no, no, but I'm going to learn, I'm going to go do it, do it, I'm gonna mess it up and then I'm gonna have to go back and learn more and I think eventually there's an optimal stopping problem there.

Alan Lazaros:

Yeah, absolutely theory versus practice. If you are overly theory, you're holding yourself back because you won't get practical experience, but if you're overly, just do, do, do. This is the ready, ready, fire aim conversation for kev. He's ready? No, he's just fire. No ready, what are you ready fire? Yeah, and I'm aim, aim, aim or whatever I don't know.

Kevin Palmieri:

I mean, I don't know what it is now. I would be curious to see how it has changed over the years. I think now it's, I think it's ready aim fire for me or for you. For me, I think it's ready aim fire. And then there's like a lot of aims after the fire I have to like re-aim a lot. It's like aim, aim, aim fire again, aim, aim, aim fire. Again I don't know what. I don't. I don't feel like you ever weren't ready aim fire.

Alan Lazaros:

I was ready. Aim, aim, dude, for sure Took me too long.

Kevin Palmieri:

Yeah, but wasn't that because of awareness of it doesn't Not? If it's Like if I said to you hey, you just gave a speech and you have to send a $10,000 invoice, you're gonna do it.

Alan Lazaros:

Yeah, I voice, you're gonna do it. Yeah, I think I was less ready aim aim than you originally thought, but definitely more than you. That's that's why we work so well together in the beginning. For context for anyone out there watching or listening, kev would just take action quick and I would think a lot about it before taking action I think that's a rebel in you too.

Kevin Palmieri:

Like anytime somebody told me to do something, I would just go do it before taking action. I think that's a rebel in you too. Like anytime somebody told me to do something, I would just go do it. I think for you, the rebel in you. We haven't talked about that in such a long time. The questioner, the questioner, the rebel, the appeaser and the upholder the Four Tendencies by Gretchen Rubin Great book Haven't talked about that. When is the last time we talked about that?

Kevin Palmieri:

It's been a long time I literally just forgot about it until this moment. Yeah, that was really cool, but for you you have like the questioner and the rebel of why should I do it that way, though? Oh, big time For me. If the person has results that I value, I'll probably go try it, at least to see. Not anymore, though now you question it well now I think everybody's lying and most of the stuff I see is bullshit.

Alan Lazaros:

Essentially, I mean the questioner.

Kevin Palmieri:

Pretty much a lot of unfortunately a lot of like the the bright naivete has been beaten out of me at this point.

Alan Lazaros:

It's like I don't know.

Kevin Palmieri:

I. There was a guy the other day, god Supposedly like the podcast guy, who knows how to build brands, and it's like all of his followers are paid for. Every picture and video has the same amount of likes on it Because he's paying for all of them. It's like there's a part of me that just gets so frustrated Because you're winning so much right now Based on that, but your winning is creating so many other people's losses, most likely, unfortunately, makes me sad 100 all right, makes me sad too.

Alan Lazaros:

Let's get back to the topic of I liked, I liked where all this was going I did too.

Kevin Palmieri:

I mean, we could keep going alignment we can keep going.

Alan Lazaros:

Is the drive to five? Too much, too little. Too much thinking and you're avoiding taking action. Too little thinking and you're just.

Kevin Palmieri:

You're just running amok let me, let me ask you a question. Unless you had something powerful to say, you were raising your hand like you did. When you look back, I feel like you and I have different regrets about different things. Is that because you were aware of the thing that you were going to regret at the time?

Alan Lazaros:

yeah, so when you said on the last episode that you didn't regret getting chunkier, you said chunky, you used the word chunky. It was just the way. You said on the last episode that you didn't regret getting chunkier, you said chunky, you used the word chunky.

Kevin Palmieri:

It was just the way you said it. Oh, yeah, yeah.

Alan Lazaros:

I'm just using your words, I'm not trying to. No, you're good, you're good, I would You're like. Well, no, I was aware of that. How can you be aware of it and not regret it?

Kevin Palmieri:

Like that was a mistake.

Alan Lazaros:

It was intentional I knew it was happening.

Kevin Palmieri:

I knew it was happening. Next level nation. We are very, very excited to announce that we are doing our first purely virtual next level live. On april 5th 2025, from 10 am to 4 pm Eastern Standard Time, alan and myself will be live streaming from Worcester, massachusetts.

Alan Lazaros:

Next Level, live 2025. Be there, it's only $47 for a full day of personal development, self-improvement, holistic health, wealth, life and love.

Kevin Palmieri:

We have a global audience. Obviously, if you live somewhere else in the world, it's hard to come across the country or across the world for a one-day event, so we wanted to make sure it was accessible to everyone.

Alan Lazaros:

You're not going to get to the next level of your life by default. You're going to get there by design. Join us, design that next level. I also think that people have a weird relationship with regret, and regret and alignment I think are very tied. I think regret is your highest self saying come on, man or woman, come on. People think I beat myself up all the time. I'm telling you right now my highest self is saying, like I said this to a client recently I'm hard on you because I believe in you. I'm not. No one else gives a shit if you win. I do. I'm here to tell you this because I know what you're capable of. You're capable of so much more than this. I'll never forget it. I was at Cognex back in corporate way back, and I remember I had a close friend of mine in college. His name was John. He said dude, you're better than this, come on, you're better than this, come on, you're better than that.

Alan Lazaros:

And I remember being like, oh my god, that's so true and that hurt, that hurt, but it was like good for him. You're absolutely right, I am, and and I was letting it ride back then. Dude, I wasn't lifting, I just was such a fucking unfulfilled human being did you know you should have been?

Alan Lazaros:

lifting. Of course, of course, absolutely, yeah, yeah. High awareness. You talk about ignorance being bliss. When you have high awareness, you have a lot of responsibility. When you know how to build a company and you're certain you can do it, do you know how hard it is not to do it?

Kevin Palmieri:

no, I oh. It's brutal. That wasn't where I started from.

Alan Lazaros:

Yeah, that's why it's so hard for me to let my best be in my past, because I do know it's possible. I'm certain it's possible. I can get back to where I was. I'm certain Now what it's going to require of me, in tandem with being a great husband and a great father one day. And you know, a great business partner, great business owner, that's a whole nother level. I mean, back then, fitness model, fitness competitions and fitness coaching was my life. So now it's going to be a lot more difficult in that sense, but I know it's possible so I can't give up on it yet. One of the things that's really hard about awareness when you know something is doable for you and you're certain that you can do it and that you have it in you, it's very hard to give up on yourself. It eats at you. Think of something that would eat at you if you didn't do it, if you treated Taryn poorly. That would eat at you why? Because you know, you know.

Kevin Palmieri:

Well, I think the thing for me is I regret more than anything. I regret the way I treated people, not myself. I don't really think of me that much. I think of like, if you said what's your. I've said it on the podcast however many times. I got wine drunk at a weird fucking networking event working event and I wasn't super kind to the dude who was driving us around. Now again, he did say he had been into 17 accidents and he shouldn't have a license. It was 12, 12 accidents hey, still too many. And I was wine drunk and I was trying to be funny and in retrospect I was being disrespectful.

Alan Lazaros:

I remember that well, you were being funny at his expense and also I mean good for you for calling something out. I mean that was we shouldn't have been in that car. We shouldn't have been in that car, but but okay. So why do you regret that?

Kevin Palmieri:

because you were out of alignment with the character you aspire to because I yeah, I knew I should have done better, I knew I should have done better, okay.

Alan Lazaros:

well, what if that's how I feel with the things that I'm hard on myself for? I'm willing to bet it is, and other people might say what I just said to you oh, kev, no, that's okay, that's okay. Listen, I appreciate it, but yeah, that's the conversation.

Kevin Palmieri:

It's okay for you and that's fine, that's okay. I'm not going to make that right, I'm not going to make that wrong, it's okay, just like making a certain type of relationship feels okay for someone and it doesn't. It's standards and it's up to me to uphold my standards. Because, to Alan's point, nobody else is going to uphold, nobody else can consistently uphold my standards. For me that's not. That's never going to happen. And if it does, that is either going to be a miserable relationship. You're in with someone or you're going to have a coach, and that's the coach part is probably a positive way. But you can't rely solely on somebody else for your own growth. I mean, that's a recipe for disaster. But it's standards, it's standards.

Kevin Palmieri:

I think I have a higher standard for the way I treat other people than I do myself most likely definitely, because I think my I don't even know my standards for the way I think my standards for the way I treat myself are already fairly high, but I think the way I treat other people is just higher Because that's important to me.

Alan Lazaros:

I think that's you and I's self-worth stuff. It's possible Because I was that way for the longest time. You'd hear the golden rule. And again back to alignment Treat others the way you want to be treated. I always said hell no, treat them better than you want to be treated. And then there's actually another iteration of this that Emilia brought up, which is treat them how they want to be treated. But that requires you get to know them.

Alan Lazaros:

Alignment, standards, goals, self-belief, future self, past self, current self. This is a lot of stuff. Okay, my next level lesson If you have higher awareness of what you are capable of and what is possible in the world, I believe you will have higher self-belief because you'll aim higher and then work on it and then build it. The higher your self-belief, the higher your goals. The higher your goals, the higher your standards have to be to achieve them. And when you go toward those goals, you're going to face inevitable adversity and then you're going to learn more about yourself and the world. And this is one of the things about failure that's so brutal, because if life was a video game, this is how I think it's set up. I love where we're going here. If life was a video game and we were all characters in a video game and the goal of the video game is to grow your character as much as possible and to achieve as many accolades as possible. Okay, quests you'd have to go on quests to get trophies or whatever, or character traits. Who would win the video game? The person who would, quote-unquote win the video game is whoever did the most quests and learned the most about their character and on those quests, faced the most monsters or adversity to get stronger and better and smarter. Each quest and I was on a podcast recently and my background, uh is has a lot of awards and stuff on it and I I know that for a lot of people that comes off very pretentious and arrogant and all that stuff. And I said I know that the this background can come off wrong to people. And the reason why I haven't taken it down, even though we've talked about it, is because I adore achievement. I don't think I adore achievement for the reasons people think I do. It's not. I don't have this trophy behind me for anyone else. I have this trophy behind me because that took so much.

Alan Lazaros:

At one point that was a dream and I had to grow as a human being. To achieve that, I was freaking out. I had to face fears. I was the leanest I'd ever been. I had to suffer and struggle and sacrifice. I had to reach out to coaches. I had to have mentors. I had to have opposing coach. I became more and I actually became more. On the failures behind it, the fifth and fourth place trophies. I became way more trying to do those. But the only reason I got the fourth and fifth place trophies is so I could win. And eventually I did, and then I lost again. But it's not about the trophy, it's about who I became.

Alan Lazaros:

And so back to the video game analogy people who don't want to achieve much, they don't have to become much, and it's unfortunate, but it is true. Emilia is a super achiever. She's my beautiful partner, she's unbelievable and people would come to me and say like I want a partner like that and it's like I wasn't even capable enough to be with a woman like this. She's 30 years old, I'm 36. The 36 year old version of Alan has been on enough quests, has learned enough about himself and others in the world, has worked on himself enough to be in a relationship with her himself.

Alan Lazaros:

Enough to be in a relationship with her, but me at 30, no chance could I be with her at 30. Okay, and I just what you do achieve in life, in the real world, not in the social world. In the social world you can fake it and you can pretend your character is better than it is, and the economy and business and all this stuff, and you can take advantage of people and you can lie through your teeth and all that. But in the real world, when you step in that ring, you are strong, smart and capable or not, and that's what I think real confidence and self-esteem is and I think that's what people actually want.

Kevin Palmieri:

I would say that was an epic monologue, number one strong work, and I would yeah, I would second that. I would second that. Unfortunately, I think most people don't see the behind-the-scenes stuff that goes into getting it and that's why there's so many shortcuts, so many advertised shortcuts. I think that's a big piece of it. Again, people just show up into your view but they've always been here doing stuff behind the scenes, but now you just see them and for the first time you're exposed to them. It's like holy shit, good for them. Well, yeah, but I mean, this is like year 10.

Kevin Palmieri:

It wasn't good for them. For the first nine years it was still good for them because, hopefully, they were fulfilled in what they were doing. It's very weird. We was still good for them because they maybe they hopefully they were fulfilled in what they were doing. But it's very weird. We only have a certain level of vision where we can see a certain level of things and when things pop in, it looks to us like that's the first time they've ever been there. And no, it's the first time they've ever been there. For us they've been there forever. You drive, travel somewhere, go see the coliseum. I've never done it. I love to. It's been there for a long fucking time. That's why people want to go see it, because it's been there so long.

Alan Lazaros:

You can see more than you used to see. I mean, you can see how the world works. You step into a business and you know how it works now.

Kevin Palmieri:

Yeah, but I'm not even from a business perspective. I feel like I have a pretty good idea. Again, this will be a dream for me. That will happen eventually. I just don't know when. I want to start a thing where I'm able to invest in podcasters, like, hey, I'm going to take care of a year's worth of whatever we're going to produce it. You're going to get an X amount of dollar scholarship $10,000 scholarship, hypotheticallyetically because I have a pretty good understanding of what type of people win and those are the people I really I really like and I really respect that I really enjoy working with. Most of all, I not that I don't like and respect many different types of people, but I like working with those people the most. That will require me to have a deeper understanding of what it takes to succeed and you will help them align better than they can align themselves.

Alan Lazaros:

That's why you're a podcast coach. Well, and that's why consciousness in podcasting is higher than theirs, so you can help them aim higher, align better and get to a higher part of the mountain. Well, you've been able to see it's super fulfilling.

Kevin Palmieri:

That's the part that I think a lot of people I don't ever. I don't ever want to be the guy who doesn't answer a question if somebody messages it to me, because it's so fulfilling to help. Yeah, for sure. I think that's one of the I don't know if I've ever mentioned that before like how fulfilling it is to help someone.

Alan Lazaros:

That's the best. It's maybe the most fulfilling thing ever, assuming they're great people. Yes.

Kevin Palmieri:

And assuming you, Assuming you're abundant enough to do it, that's a whole. I mean, that's a whole other that's probably more of a business episode.

Alan Lazaros:

I would much rather be so abundant that I have to cut off the helping than so scarce that you can't even help, but yeah, this is a good conversation For the listeners. Alignment is predicated on your current level of awareness. So if you're a 10 out of 10, this is the best you've ever been, that's great. Now go learn, and then you'll realize that your 10 is actually a 9, and now you have some tweaks.

Kevin Palmieri:

I think my next level lesson would be add it's ever been or so far after your statements, I'm the best I've ever been. Awesome, good, cool. Or so far after your statements, I'm the best I've ever been. Awesome, good, cool. This is the best it's ever been. Awesome, love that. That's great, because that creates an opportunity for growth. It creates room for growth. Am I the best podcaster I've ever been? Yes, awesome. Am I the best husband I've ever been? Yes, awesome. Does that mean I'm done? No, and I will theoretically never be done. But here's the hard thing. That is a commitment, because there are a lot of people who aren't the best versions of themselves right now. Would you agree with that?

Alan Lazaros:

Yeah, unfortunately, you and I in fitness aren't the best versions of ourselves. Yeah. And that's the one thing that hasn't gotten better, and that's why it bothers me, because I feel like we stand for people who want to get better I'm back and we're gonna see.

Kevin Palmieri:

I'm making a run now again from a a more well-rounded place. I think I will be healthier. Will I be as lean as I once was? That ain't gonna happen.

Alan Lazaros:

Well, you know the quote.

Kevin Palmieri:

I don't.

Alan Lazaros:

I ain't as good as I once was.

Kevin Palmieri:

But I'm as good once as I ever was. Exactly, it is about sex. My wife told me that I think that whole song, that whole country song, is about sex. So he's saying I'm not nearly as good as I was when I was a young buck, but if you give me one shot I'll be good Pretty much.

Alan Lazaros:

Maybe the best.

Kevin Palmieri:

I've ever been, I think, is what he's saying. It doesn't make any sense logically when you think about it. But who am I? You all right over there.

Alan Lazaros:

Yes, it. Who am I? You're right over there. Yes, it's been a, it's been a week. The yes, I'm grateful to be on a podcast and in a community of people who want to get better. I think it's awesome. And again, it's a mountain that gets higher as you climb it and that's what that person was saying asymptotic equation, asympt, asymptote is you get closer and closer and closer to 100%, but you never get there.

Kevin Palmieri:

That's how I know that person's smarter than I am. They know math better than you. The fact that I thought asymptote was just a thing. I didn't know there was an asymptotic equation, asymptotic, asymptotic, whatever it is, equation, it's pretty cool.

Alan Lazaros:

Yeah, it was a cool message to get.

Kevin Palmieri:

I can imagine. All right, is there anything you want to say? I feel like I just kind of want to hang out on the mics. Maybe do like a full 24 hours or something.

Alan Lazaros:

Alignment.

Kevin Palmieri:

Nice, very, very powerful.

Alan Lazaros:

Yeah, are you aligned right now with your highest self, with your best version of you? And if the answer is no, why not? And then you're going to come up with answers. What was the thing recently that you didn't realize? Oh, you were doing mobility before your workouts and then you became aware that that was detrimental. So you went from what you thought was a 10 back down to a 9. And now you're tweaking that's what growth is. Was a 10 back down to a nine? And now you're tweaking that's what growth is, that's what personal development is.

Alan Lazaros:

It's oh and I look back, man, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, some of the stuff I said on facebook. I mean, you just, you're just ignorant when you're young. You don't mean to be so. I, alan version 3.6, kevin version 3.5 we will be, you know, much more aware. We'll have a deeper understanding when we're older. And you just get, that's the journey, that's the journey and and that that way life can get better, not worse. Life can get better. Last, last piece, I promise, brother, you know I worked at a golf course yes, way back cart kid and a bus boy. I used to bake those biscuits like you never believe, I don't know.

Kevin Palmieri:

I was never a golf guy, so I don't know much about the biscuits, the biscuits.

Alan Lazaros:

The biscuits were. I burnt them once I had them thrown at me. It was not good. It was a bad, bad time. I was such a miserable human being. There was this woman named Jess who I she was dating one of the cooks, and I could not get her to even look at me, nevermind talk to me, and I had the biggest crush on her. And uh, back in those days I remember thinking like one day, one day I'm going to understand how all this works. One day I'm going to, I'm going to be a man of value that she would not overlook, and I am so. I think that's awesome. You know it just. And I am so. I think that's awesome, you know it just. That is, we are all capable of that, and it's worked very nicely. Things are good. She wouldn't overlook me now, that's for sure, see that, jess, you fucking missed out.

Alan Lazaros:

That's on you, that's on you, but at the end of the day, I do, I think about that, I think about stepdad left, you know, written off.

Kevin Palmieri:

Well, you like it, I do. I love a piece of you that likes it For sure.

Alan Lazaros:

Try to tell me I can't do it, but the point I'm making at the golf course, everyone would always come over to me and say, Alan, you know, these are the best years of your life, man. These are the best years of your life, man. These are the best years of your life. Cherish these. These are the best years of your life. Bull fucking shit. My life was terrible.

Kevin Palmieri:

I'm not laughing at the terrible, I know.

Alan Lazaros:

I was so mad, I was like no chance, if this is the best there is.

Kevin Palmieri:

I don't want it. I think they were the simplest, in a way. Well, for them.

Alan Lazaros:

It was the best years of their life.

Kevin Palmieri:

Well, yeah.

Alan Lazaros:

And, granted, now, in hindsight, I would never take a lick of advice from these people. But at the end of the day, they probably lived their heydays in high school and their life never got any better. But the truth is they never got any better. And, dude, 36 is way fucking better than 26. It's way better than 16. Exponentially better. But that's why personal development is so important, because when you get better, you become more capable, and now you can build a better life.

Kevin Palmieri:

If I don't go feed my cats, they're going to bust in here and rip my face off.

Alan Lazaros:

They're currently in the process of getting under the door. I would love to see that.

Kevin Palmieri:

I'm stronger than they are by a little bit.

Alan Lazaros:

I want that to be the thumbnail Together. That would be great, great thumbnail.

Kevin Palmieri:

If they come in, I'll take a picture with them in the thumbnail. Anything else, quickly no man, all good, okay, cool, you. No, this was a deep one. We were all over the place, we, I feel like that's. It was very hyper-conscious. I love these episodes. Same, I love these episodes.

Kevin Palmieri:

If you like content like this, if you're into growth, if you're into evolution, if you want to get more aligned, we have an event on April 5th 2025, from 10 am till 4 pm Eastern Standard Time. Tickets I know what you're thinking Ah, all-day event, it's got $47 for a ticket. And but wait, there's more. With the purchase of your ticket, you get access to the replay. So if you have a life on a Saturday, unlike Alan and myself, you can pop your head in, see what it's all about and then go about your day, and then you can watch the replay at a later time. I know I'm very jokey right now, but yeah, this is going to be the best event we've ever hosted, because the content is the best it's ever been, because we are the most aligned we've ever been and our awareness is higher than it's ever been. So if you would be interested in joining us, we'd love to have you it is not $47 because it is not our best stuff.

Alan Lazaros:

We we could have charged way more. We want you to be able to come join us and DM Kevin or myself on Instagram if you have any questions.

Kevin Palmieri:

As always, we love you, we appreciate you, grateful for each and every one of you At NLU. We don't have fans, we have family. We will talk to you all tomorrow.

Alan Lazaros:

Keep it Next Level, next Level Nation.

Kevin Palmieri:

Thanks for joining us for another episode of Next Level University. We love connecting with the Next Level family.

Alan Lazaros:

We mean it when we say family. If you ever need anything, please reach out to us directly. Everything you need to get a hold of us is in the show notes.

Kevin Palmieri:

Thank you again and we will talk to you tomorrow you.

People on this episode

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Alan Lazaros

Host
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Kevin Palmieri

Host