Next Level University

Who Can You Model Success From? (2025)

• Kevin Palmieri and Alan Lazaros

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We often chase success by following those who’ve already found it. In this episode, Kevin and Alan explore the risks of imitation, the line between inspiration and alignment, and how to choose mentors who genuinely match your values. If you're serious about growth—but don’t want to waste time chasing the wrong examples—this episode is a must-listen.

Learn more about:
Next Level Live 2025 - https://www.nextleveluniverse.com/next-level-live/
Saturday, April 5th, 2024 (10:00 am to 4:00 pm EST)

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NLU is not just a podcast; it’s a gateway to a wealth of resources designed to help you achieve your goals and dreams. From our Next Level Dreamliner to our Group Coaching, we offer a variety of tools and communities to support your personal development journey.

For more information, please check out our website at the link below. 👇

Website 💻  http://www.nextleveluniverse.com

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Any of these communities or resources are FREE to join and consume
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We love connecting with you guys! Reach out on Instagram, Facebook, or via email. We’re here to support you in your personal and professional development journey.

Instagram 📷
Kevin: https://www.instagram.com/neverquitkid/
Alan: https://www.instagram.com/alazaros88/

Facebook ✍
Alan: https://www.facebook.com/alan.lazaros
Kevin: https://www.facebook.com/kevin.palmieri.90/

Email 💬
Kevin@nextleveluniverse.com
Alan@nextleveluniverse.com

LinkedIn ✍
Kevin: https://www.linkedin.com/in/kevin-palmieri-5b7736160/
Alan: https://www.linkedin.com/in/alanlazarosllc/

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Show notes:
(3:35) The power of clarity and consistency
(6:47) Good mentor Vs. Right mentor
(9:41) Lessons from the wrong people
(13:46) Be careful who you ignore or idolize
(17:33) Real-world exposure builds belief
(20:01) How to attract mentors through your strengths
(22:20) Join Next Level Live: A virtual, immersive event for those committed to growth, meaningful relationships, and a life they love. https://www.nextleveluniverse.com/next-level-live/
(29:19) Accountability: The missing ingredient
(37:49) Find the mentor you work best with
(44:55) Outro

Send a text to Kevin and Alan!

Kevin Palmieri:

If you want to be more successful, it would probably make sense to find someone who has achieved the level of success that you desire. And then I'm not saying copy, because I think that's a very, very dangerous game, but figure out what lessons and what breakthroughs and what hints they have left for you and try to do your best to replicate those. That's the best example I can give of how to model success based on somebody else's success. There's a quote success leaves clues?

Alan Lazaros:

Yes. However, it's a double-edged sword, because when you get a mentor or a coach or a guide of some kind, you have to realize that they are so far ahead that maybe what they're doing now is not what they did in the beginning. So that's what we're going to talk about today.

Kevin Palmieri:

Welcome to Next Level University. I'm your host, Kevin Palmieri.

Alan Lazaros:

And I'm your co-host, Alan Lazarus.

Kevin Palmieri:

At NLU, we believe in a heart-driven but no BS approach to holistic self-improvement for dream chasers.

Alan Lazaros:

Our goal with every episode is to help you level up your life. Love health is to help you level up your life, love health and wealth.

Kevin Palmieri:

We bring you a new episode every single day on topics like confidence, self-belief, self-worth, self-awareness, relationships, boundaries, consistency, habits and defining your own unique version of success.

Alan Lazaros:

Self-improvement in your pocket, every day, from anywhere, completely free.

Kevin Palmieri:

Welcome to Next Level University, next Level Nation today for episode number 2025. We're in trouble. 2025. 2025. Happy 2025. Who can you model success from?

Kevin Palmieri:

I had a call with clients the other day and there was some stuff going on with their podcast numbers and their websites all Jeffed. And we don't do their websites. So I was like you got to talk to your web developer because something's going on here. Your data is all Jeffed. And they said, okay, well, now that we have an understanding of what's going on there, what are a couple things that we can do? Small things that will help us grow? And I said one you've got to title your episodes better you guys are. You have cute titles and they're tongue-in-cheek and they're inside jokes, but nobody knows what you're talking about. I said what I would do is I would go find somebody who is doing the same style of content that you are and I would use that as inspiration. And I said I'll be very honest. What a lot of people are doing on YouTube is they're just copying what other people are doing, like that's kind of how a lot of people are growing a lot on YouTube by just copying other people's stuff. I said that's not a line for us at NLU. We don't do that. I said if you want to do your own unique version of that, more power to you. And that's essentially what we're talking about to a degree today.

Kevin Palmieri:

Alan asked me before he said if he said you and I are very blessed where we have a lot of clarity and we've worked very hard for the clarity that we have. He said if you were to give somebody advice on how to get more clarity, what would you say? And I said the best thing I could say is read a book that's on the specific thing, listen to a podcast episode, watch a YouTube video all of that stuff, of course and try to find somebody who is living a lifestyle or has the results that you desire and try to figure out how they got there. To Alan's point, not what they're doing today. What we are doing today is drastically different than year one, two, three, four, five, six and seven.

Kevin Palmieri:

Are there hints? Yes, are we doing some of the things that we did to get here better? Yes, are we doing many of them worse? Also, yes. So even right now, it's not necessarily a good example. I say this all the time. I can eat pizza every day and lose weight, but that is not the recommendation I would give to you, because there are so many things from an awareness standpoint under that that I've accumulated over the years of doing fitness and dieting and bodybuilding. If you just saw me hammering pizzas every day, you would say, oh okay, that's how I should do it too. No, that's not how you should do it, because that's not really how it works and it's extremely unhealthy all things considered. But if I have a six-pack and you see me eating pizza, you're gonna think that's the way to do it, when it just isn't.

Alan Lazaros:

I tried to win a Bodybuilding show eating pizza. It didn't work.

Kevin Palmieri:

It didn't work. Those guys weren't eating pizza. I brought home some Hardware over here. Well, yeah, fourth place trophy baby.

Alan Lazaros:

Yes, fourth place, fourth place.

Kevin Palmieri:

Yeah.

Alan Lazaros:

So I had a client earlier today. Say, alan, did you know he listens and he didn't say it pretentiously like I just did, but he listens every day, love it shout out to you, brother. He said did you know that this is the first and last time that any episode will match the year you're in?

Kevin Palmieri:

how freaking dare you? I was thinking true, though. Yeah, I was thinking about that. Today it's like this is 2025.

Alan Lazaros:

That'll never happen again.

Kevin Palmieri:

This is the only time this could ever happen.

Alan Lazaros:

Yeah, that's wild.

Kevin Palmieri:

I know. Nice Shout out to you, whoever you are. I don't know who you are because I don't know most of I know who Alan's clients are because they're in the community but. I don't know who you are specifically, so shout out to you and that's the end of the episode. Thank you all for listening. As always, we love you. We appreciate you great for sharing one of you.

Alan Lazaros:

I had many mentors. Modeling was a big thing for me early on, and I think that mentors are either you are relying on mentors too much or too little. As with all things, too much or too little. Kevin relied on them too little, in my opinion. I relied on them way too much. I asked everybody about everything.

Alan Lazaros:

I remember I emailed one of my best friend's father about whether or not I should go to work first before I get my MBA, or if I should just do it while I'm here, my master's in business, and he answered me and in hindsight, he didn't know the answer to that question for sure. And so I made the mistake of modeling, I think, a perceived version of success that wasn't actually real. But what I will say is I learned a lot, even if it's what not to do so early on. Well, someone reached out to me recently not recently, this is years ago, actually it's late. Someone reached out to me and I'm, I'm, I'm trying to overcome these little fears that crop up while we're talking. Someone reached out and said how dare you? Why do you say he's a multimillionaire mentor? He's just a good person, Like, why does it matter that he's wealthy? It's like listen.

Kevin Palmieri:

Because it costs zero dollars to be a good person, and if you're trying to have business success, you have to have some level of results. That's why Thank you.

Alan Lazaros:

Thank you so much for that. Yeah, so I've had many mentors in the past that are multi-millionaires and, for anyone out there who's going to attack me in my DMs, that is not the only reason they are of value, okay, however, when it comes to this narrow area of economic success, it was important for me to learn from people that were very wealthy, and I did. I learned from a lot of multi-millionaires who are very wealthy. If you want to learn wealth, study wealth, get mentors that are wealthy. It's a great idea. Now, the key here, I think, and the point that I want to drive home I was on two different coaching calls earlier breakthrough sessions, and I'll keep it anonymous, of course, but both of them it was very clear that they struggled with clarity. They didn't have nearly as much clarity as you and I do.

Alan Lazaros:

You and I have a podcast about finding your own unique version of success. It's built on personal development and health, wealth and love. We have a lot of clarity with what we do on a day to day basis, and the byproduct of clarity is consistency and alignment and all these different things, and it made me a little bit sad and I helped them with clarity for sure. I believe that's true, but one of the reasons I have a lot of clarity is because I went out into the world and I tried so much shit and most of it was really dumb or unintelligent or reckless, and I realized very quickly what not to do. And so I would learn from these mentors and you and I.

Alan Lazaros:

There's someone I'm thinking of right now that we spent a lot of time with who was a multimillionaire, and we realized very quickly okay, so you're really really good at sales. You're really, really good at making money. You obviously built your wealth in the 90s and early 2000s. You kind of take people out to dinner all the time and you're networking up a storm. Okay, so that's how you did it. All right, got it, check, but we don't really like who you are. Okay, so boom, boom, boom. And then this other person who seems wealthy isn't. What's that about? This other person who doesn't seem wealthy is actually very wealthy. Okay, what's that about? Why is that? Where did it come from? So the value of mentors, I think, is reading between the lines, watching their actions, listening to them, asking them questions. You and I interviewed what? 200 people or something. On the podcast, something like that yeah.

Alan Lazaros:

Yeah, I mean probably three or four years, 52 weeks a year, I don't know. It would be at least 100 interviews, I'd say, if not more Over 100.

Kevin Palmieri:

I just don't, yeah, I don't. It's no more than 200. It's over 100 for sure, though.

Alan Lazaros:

Okay. So over 100 interviews, and you and I were just hammering them with questions. We did our research. We learned a lot in those early years in hindsight what to do, what not to do, how that person okay, interesting, they said that, but they actually did this, and we met a lot of people early on. And so for anyone out there watching or listening, do you have mentors? Do you know how to get mentors? Do you have any coaches?

Alan Lazaros:

And the last piece that I'll share before I let kev talk again is I think this is one of the main values of coaching. Lately, it feels like I'm just constantly selling coaching. The truth is, I can tell you privately, behind the scenes, how we actually did it, and I can look at your unique context. Okay, you're in year two. Okay, this is your brand, this is your podcast, this is your business, this is what you're trying to do.

Alan Lazaros:

I can tell you how we did it back then versus how I would do it now. But I can put it into your unique circumstances and I can tell you the truth about how hard it was in those early years and what I would do if I could go back and what I would double down on and what I would get rid of completely. And that's why I think coaching is so important, because you're going to get the truth no-transcript. And at the time I thought he was a dick when in reality, he was just telling me things that I wasn't ready to hear. And I feel like if he had communicated as well as I now feel equipped to communicate, I feel like it would have gotten through. I really do and I'm trying to be that for people and it's been really important. But if you don't have mentors, I think it's really important to consider it because it's life-changing, even if it's not life-changing in the way that you originally thought I.

Kevin Palmieri:

I think it. It's very. It makes sense to me. I think it's a very common thing for somebody to say, well, well, I don't want to call that person out, I don't know who's who's dming you. I don't want to call that person out, I don't know who's DMing you. I don't mean it as a call out, but would you go ask somebody who is in a terrible relationship for relationship advice? No, that's highly illogical. That's a way to get Jeffed. You're going to get Jeffed if you do that.

Kevin Palmieri:

Would, you ask somebody who has never practiced fitness in their entire life for fitness advice? No, you're going to get jaffed, you're just going to get wildly misled. This is a good question. Would you rather have a mentor who is very nice and I'm not saying this is the only way it can be very nice and has no money has a ton of money is not very nice. We ended up choosing neither essentially. So I'm not very nice that we ended up choosing neither essentially.

Alan Lazaros:

So I'm not telling you, we had both, and then we chose we were like.

Kevin Palmieri:

Honestly, I don't. I would much rather spend time with somebody who's really like a good human. That doesn't have any results that I desire. I just won't focus on learning from specific, like the specific things from that person. So there's always something to learn anyway from someone, but that right there.

Alan Lazaros:

That is a potential block for someone you're, not you're learning a mentor that you can think of. You don't. You don't have to say any names, nor should we. I think honestly, but that you didn't like, but you did learn a lot in hindsight, yeah, yeah.

Kevin Palmieri:

Yeah for sure Same. Would I ever teach something that they taught me in the same way that they did? I don't know. I don't know. I feel like what I learned a lot from mentors was and again, we've had some really good and really successful, we've had some very, very good mentors, but a lot of them knew they could talk it, but they didn't necessarily walk it, and that was always something that it was. Either that or the way that they succeeded was just not aligned for me or us, and that was sad. I remember having those moments of like that's how you did it, oh shit, yeah, and that was sad, I remember like having those moments of like that's how you did it.

Kevin Palmieri:

Oh shit, yeah I don't want to do it that way. So there is something to that. There has to be an alignment between you and the the modeling that you're doing. But just be very careful, because if you're villainizing someone who has money, you're not going to learn from somebody who has money, yeah, and if you villainize somebody who's deeply in love and they they have public displays of affection and that makes you feel some type of way, you're missing out on a lot of lessons. If you're villainizing somebody's success, you're most likely not going to be able to attach your train to it and then get your own version of that success well, why would you pursue something that you're villainizing?

Alan Lazaros:

you would, yeah you can villainize the approach, or you can villainize that unique flavor of mentor or whatever. It is certainly the integrity piece, like the lack of integrity in this case. But you got to be very careful. If you villainize wealth, you're not going to work your butt off to build wealth, and it's really important to separate external results from the process, from the individual, when you're learning. What is the quote it's? I don't know if it was Abraham Lincoln or not, but I think it is attributed to him.

Alan Lazaros:

I learn from everyone, even if 99% of the time it's what not to do, and that's kind of my where I would go in this episode. I know it's late. Kevin and I have been working all day. He's been up since six. It's 10 o'clock at night right now, but we're here. What I would keep going back to in this episode is, I think what not to do is more important for clarity than what to do.

Alan Lazaros:

When you, when you eliminate, I look at my past and I just eliminated a bunch of stuff. Like, okay, I'm never doing that again, that was terrible. Okay, I'm never dating someone like that again. Okay, that was terrible. Okay, I'm never gonna hire someone like that again. Okay, that was terrible. Like I'm just constantly shedding old skins and that's. Eventually you end up in a place where you have a ton of clarity, but it's through pain and failure and I don't know if that's. It's certainly not sexy. I don't know if it's how everybody does it. I mean you and I, especially in those early years, we just did a bunch of misaligned stuff when we didn't know it was misaligned. And then we reassess, know it was misaligned, and then we reassess, reassess, reassess. Every time we did something, we traveled here, we interviewed this person. After every interview, you and I would have a deep conversation about it and say, okay, what was that?

Alan Lazaros:

about and is this aligned? I mean, would you do that again? I mean, I remember you and I, when we would interview guests, we always said, if we could go back in time, would we do that? Number one are we going to air this fucking thing Right? Number two would you interview that person again if you could? And we had a list of people that was yes, absolutely, absolutely, absolutely. And we had a list of people absolutely not. And some of them never saw the light of day. But ultimately, I wonder if it's almost like you you start out unclear and then you go into the fog and then you come back with new information and you realize, okay, this, this, this and this is aligned, this, this, this and this is not. And I do think that guides are important, but they're definitely not everything.

Alan Lazaros:

I remember there was one mentor who actually was a billionaire and I it was my first time ever talking one-on-one with a billionaire, which for me was a moment, cause even when I was a kid, I you know that kind of thing, and I remember telling you that was interesting. His thinking is different, for sure, and he's also very, very old. I mean, he was in his eighties. So the compound effect. Most billionaires are very old if they're self-made, just because of the compound effect of time. But I remember thinking that was interesting. That's not what I thought that would be and I remember in my early twenties I was working for a company called iRobot and I remember I was in a room I've told this story before and I got out of that room shaking story before and I got out of that room shaken.

Alan Lazaros:

It's like oh that's what that's like Holy shit that's. I don't know if I'm ready for that, and I think that there's something to be said for getting in rooms that feel uncomfortable at the ego level. You got in so many rooms. I mean, we went to a private island, we went through security gates on the top of a mountain with infinity pools and Porsches and you know, over high rises and all kinds of stuff. I mean, those early years were good for you to to get exposure for sure we've been in houses with an elevator in it.

Alan Lazaros:

Those are good experiences for you to have, so that you can see, I guess, what's possible. And this is where I would turn it to you, because I don't know. Mentors always seem to find me.

Kevin Palmieri:

That makes sense, I think. Mentor I think there's a few different types of mentors. There's mentors who I think there's collaborative mentors, who realize it's a win-win because you have something they don't and they have something that you don't and you guys can grow together. I think there's like collaborative mentors. I think there are mentors that they're in the season of life where they just want to give back right there and it's quite literally their mission to give back to somebody younger than them to help them avoid a lot of the pitfalls that they had. And then I would say, I don't know. I think there's like a pretty high subset of mentors who just like, want to be mentors. They just like, like the feeling from like, and then there's the snake ones that are actually power and manipulative.

Alan Lazaros:

They want the power and that are actually power and manipulative. They want the power and that kind of thing, especially for the women listeners. Be careful of those ones.

Kevin Palmieri:

Unfortunately, there's a lot of them out there. Unfortunately, there's a lot of them out there.

Alan Lazaros:

You've always said this, I've been a mentor to you. I appreciate it and I do believe that's true, and vice versa in many cases too, especially with certain things. But what would you do if you didn't have me as a mentor? How would you go get mentors? Because you would definitely need them Coaches and mentors.

Kevin Palmieri:

I would probably. So this is an issue. I was thinking about this the other day. I would probably try to find someone successful that was also into fitness, because a lot of my credibility is fitness. I'm really good at meeting and making friends with people at the gym, why I've spent a lot of time there and I have results there. So I wonder, I would probably try to make friends with somebody who looks successful at the gym by working out with them and then seeing what they knew and then trying to you know, hey, can I take you out to dinner?

Kevin Palmieri:

I'd love to pick your brain, but it would start. That's one thing is start from a place where you have credibility that maybe other people don't. Fitness for me has always kind of been that that like it's. I've heard people say before I, yeah, going to the gym is so lonely for me, I could never make friends there, and that's always been a weird thing for me, because it's very easy for me to make friends at the gym.

Kevin Palmieri:

I think I'm pretty strong for my size, I'm usually in pretty good shape and I think I'm way more approachable than people probably think. So when I go up to someone I told Alan this the other day there was a dude at the gym, big dude, very big dude, and I just assumed he hated me, because every time I see him he's just mean mugging. And I saw him jump on the scale when I was finishing up my workout and I was like what are we at 230, 240? And he turned around and he's like huh, and I said what's the weight at? And he said oh, 225. And then we were like best friends right after that. So I think we all have an arena where we're probably further ahead than we think, and things just come a little bit easier to us is that?

Alan Lazaros:

because that lowers the intimidation factor for you?

Kevin Palmieri:

because yeah, right, yeah, it's because maybe here I'm a leader, okay, I can mentor this person in the gym if they can mentor me somewhere else, that's, it can be a symbiotic relationship like that. So I would probably do that. It would be speaking, it would be podcasting. Would I be here without you know? But fitness, I think fitness would be the thing that I would do I want to ask this too.

Alan Lazaros:

Okay, podcasting and fitness those are the two places where you feel you can add the most value speaking, speaking Fitness.

Alan Lazaros:

Okay, what was it like? And again, I had a mentor that I taught in fitness. He taught me he was CEO of a billion-dollar tech company robotics company. He's on the board and all this stuff of a bunch of different tech companies and I did. I learned a lot and we would go to dinner and we would go to the gym together for a while, right, and he always said I feel good at the bank, you feel good at the beach at the time. And, uh, that has definitely shifted. I feel pretty. I think I might feel better at the bank than the beach nowadays, which is interesting.

Kevin Palmieri:

Next Level Nation. We are very, very excited to announce that we are doing our first purely virtual Next Level Live. On April 5th 2025, from 10 am to 4 pm Eastern Standard Time, alan and myself will be live streaming from Worcester, massachusetts.

Alan Lazaros:

Next Level, live 2025. Be there, it's only $47 for a full day of personal development, self-improvement, holistic health, wealth, life and love.

Kevin Palmieri:

We have a global audience. Obviously, if you live somewhere else in the world, it's hard to come across the country or across the world for a one-day event.

Alan Lazaros:

So we wanted to make sure it was accessible to everyone. You're not going to get to the next level of your life by default. You're going to get there by design. Join us, design that next level. But anyways.

Alan Lazaros:

So I, as vulnerable and scary as this is to share, I'm not intimidated at all meeting people like I. I was never intimidated by him. I was never intimidated by any of the guests that we had in the past. I never really felt Like Stephen Kotler we interviewed. I never felt intimidated. So, as scary as that is to share, for me it was very comfort zone to meet intelligent people and stuff. I went to a college that had.

Alan Lazaros:

I remember I was speaking when I was in my early twenties. I was speaking to the mayor of Worcester and the two state senators for Massachusetts and I was, you know, speaking in front of 150 people, everyone dressed in a suit. I mean it is. I was in my fucking teens, so teens or early twenties, and it was brutal back then. But even then I felt pretty confident. So for someone who isn't inclined to get mentors because I've, I've always had mentors this is one of those weird things that just always came naturally to me. If anything, I overdid it and trusted them too much. So I'm on the other end. But mentors are critical. I mean, they're very critical. Just don't trust everything they say and definitely take it with a grain of salt. But not having mentors is a huge L in my opinion. How did you overcome your fear of being around people that are intimidating?

Kevin Palmieri:

I tried to. I tried to fit into whatever box that I thought they wanted, that they would respect, that they would admire. That would lead to a longer relationship. So, like the grit and the consistency, I was like I might not be that smart and I might not know what questions to ask, necessarily, but if you tell me to do something, I'll go do it give me. If I have an understanding of what I'm supposed to do and you tell me to do something, I'll go do it give me. If I have an understanding of what I'm supposed to do and you tell me to go do it, I'll go do it.

Alan Lazaros:

what were the moments like when you saw the contrast? And I remember I went to the gym once with someone who pulled out and shoulder pressed I think 90s or 100s and I couldn't even do 50s at the time. The contrast was just huge, lifting with this dude. And I remember having a moment where it was this is fucking terrible, this is bad.

Alan Lazaros:

And again right after that. But the next day I was so much more motivated. I was just on another level the next day, that whole week. Do you have those moments where it's I'm way too far behind? This is terrible like how did you overcome that?

Kevin Palmieri:

yeah, so many. So I remember we we interviewed anthony trucks in california and then we saw him speak the next day in front of like 3,000 people or whatever 2,500, 3,000 people and he was the best speaker by far. Wasn't close. He was the guy, and there were some world-class people. Many of you might not even know who he is. You know who the rest of the people were. He was better, he just was, and I had a moment where I was like Jesus and he was doing it on his phone in the car.

Kevin Palmieri:

Yeah, he was. We went to in and we went to in and out burger and he was doing his presentation on his cell phone just cool as a cucumber, and I was like I could never be like that. I could never be like that. Here's the truth. I don't know if I'm supposed to be like that in that way. I mean, anthony is a stud, but here's the thing. You could do that well, all I mean by that is, while I admired his approach, I don't know if that's the way I'm supposed to do it. Anyway, I don't know if I'm ever going to be the guy in the backseat of a car doing my presentation. I don't think that's who I am yeah, fair.

Alan Lazaros:

But do you realize? And again, this is good back then, of course that was seemed out of reach.

Kevin Palmieri:

It was mind-blowing Like what. Even the fact that he came up to our hotel room to do a podcast episode the night before his speech was mind-blowing to me. It's like you're spending the night before your speech with us. Shouldn't you be prepping? I understand now that's the type of person he is Super high self-belief played in the NFL. You know, get to the NFL without a fairly high level of self-belief, I would say For sure.

Alan Lazaros:

Yeah, and I tried to call him out one time because Anthony's yeah, I guess I would call him a friend. He came to book club and we did his book Identity Shift in Book Club and he came to book club and I called him out a little bit because he always calls himself a regular dude Anthony, anthony, anthony.

Alan Lazaros:

Anthony come on, come on man, he, he, he did, uh, 30 pieces of content in 30 minutes and minute long things. And in book club he tried to say, well, it's a lot like folding laundry, right? I mean, you do one shirt, you do the next, you do that, anthony, anthony, come on, man, it's not like folding laundry. These are going out to the world. You're not understanding, and I know what he's doing. He's trying to relate it to laundry. But it was a good book club, it was powerful. But I think that sometimes it pisses me off to see people that are that far in the journey that lessen it and make anyone feel like they can do that, like that it's. Oh yeah, it's like folding laundry. Okay, real quick, you have two things you can do, kev, tomorrow you're gonna. Either I need you to fold 30 shirts, believe it, or not.

Kevin Palmieri:

The videos might be easier. Yeah, you know what I would pick.

Alan Lazaros:

Yeah, you pick the videos but that's because you've been doing it for freaking eight years oh, I know and he to book club.

Alan Lazaros:

I had to call him out because it's listen, brother, with all the love these people, that's not true. Anyone here can fold laundry, not. Anyone can do 30 pieces of world-class content in 30 minutes, go without even any notes, and I just think that that's. And that's the danger of mentors. I, I love anthony, anthony's great, I'm, I'm seriously he's, he's a great guy. The, the mentor thing can fuck you up if the person doesn't understand the context of what it took to get to where they are, because he would always say that he's like I'm just a regular dude, like my wife nags me, I, I clean up poop when I had kids too, and all that kind of.

Alan Lazaros:

Anthony, you're not a regular dude, you were in the nfl man yeah right and I think that it lessens the value of it and it also makes everyone think that it's easier than it really is, and I think that's a disservice. Nothing against anthony, but making things seem easier than they are is how people get devastated and quit I'd much rather just be someone to start.

Kevin Palmieri:

I think it's good for someone to start. I think it's good for someone to start. But outside of that, again, the more I've gotten to know Evan Carmichael pretty well at this point. And the thing he says is if I was in your skin, if I was in your skin, this is what I would do. And that's like he's not saying if I was you, he's not saying from where I am, this is what I would do. He's saying if I was in your skin, living life as you, knowing what I know about you, knowing what you value, this is what I would do. I think that's the best way to frame it. I think that's the absolute best way to frame it. And as I've gotten closer to Evan, I've respected him more and more and more and more and more, and I have clients that work with Evan. So I see the behind the scenes of that and he's a really good mentor. He is. He's a really really really good.

Kevin Palmieri:

Agreed, really good mentor. We were in Florida, we had him at one of our events and again, this is the kind of mentor I like, because this is just the way I'm wired. Doesn't mean it's what's best for me, but I tend to work best with this type of mentor. He said I want you to redo your thumbnails and tomorrow when you see me, I expect you to have a thumbnail template done. And I was like done, I'm on it, alan, and I will work on it tonight. And I was like done, I'm on it, alan, and I will work on it tonight. And I was talking to Alan. I was like, dude, we need to do this, I need your help. I don't know what to do.

Alan Lazaros:

And Alan was like dude, he's not, he's not even going to remember.

Kevin Palmieri:

I was like brother. He's going to remember. He's going to ask us. I know it. I'm like him in this. Trust me.

Alan Lazaros:

We saw him the next day. And then we had another mentor who you knew wouldn't remember. Yeah, of course, brothers from the north, he didn't even remember our fucking names. Of course he's not going to remember.

Kevin Palmieri:

We go to see Evan the next day. He did remember our names, I know.

Alan Lazaros:

He didn't remember where we lived, though, yeah.

Kevin Palmieri:

We went to see Evan the next day and he's like where is it? And I was like dude, didn't do it, threw.

Alan Lazaros:

Alan under the bus.

Kevin Palmieri:

He didn't say it like this because he doesn't swear, but it was essentially like you guys fucked up, you fucked up, you had a big chance here and you fucked up. And then, when we interviewed him later and he still brings it up to this day I spent the entire dinner with you guys going through your YouTube channel. I told you what to do. You didn't do it.

Alan Lazaros:

You didn't do it.

Kevin Palmieri:

And he's still to this day. But that, I think, what a really good mentor does is they help you raise your awareness, they help you build belief, they help you strategize and they hold you accountable. That's what a really good mentor does. A really good mentor holds you accountable, not from a place of ego, not from a place of ego, not from a place of scarcity but from a place of. I am the guide and I want you to feel a little bit of pressure, because the pressure to, and again this is a dangerous game.

Kevin Palmieri:

The pressure to I don't want to say appease, I don't want to say please, but the pressure to keep a mentor happy to impress them to stay in their good graces. Like there, there's a fine line between that being toxic and constructive, but that's what I was doing like. I want to stay in his good graces, because if I stay in his good graces he'll want to help us more yeah, you were absolutely right about that.

Alan Lazaros:

I was completely off. Well, you you didn't.

Kevin Palmieri:

I mean, I can tell it's like I, I don't know. Well, I'm like him.

Alan Lazaros:

He's older than I am.

Kevin Palmieri:

I'm like Evan, I don't know how to explain it.

Alan Lazaros:

He's going to ask us, and if we don't do it, he's going to 100%. Yeah.

Kevin Palmieri:

Yeah, I love people who take action. I love people who take action.

Alan Lazaros:

Like that's because that's what I resonate with the most. The other piece here this goes back to for the long, long-term listeners, you'll resonate with this, but for anyone who's new, we talk about tactics versus deeper understanding. What kevin's talking about is tactics and accountability and what's the next move and hold you accountable to it. The other mentors that we were referring to is more just philosophical conversations, that kind of thing. One of the people I'm coaching right now one of my clients, one of the people I'm coaching right now one of my clients, one of the people I'm clienting, one of the people I'm coaching right now. I am trying to help her think strategically long-term, and so the conversations are very esoteric, they're okay.

Alan Lazaros:

Well, you have time, effort and money and persons, places, things and ideas, and you only have five senses, technically six. If you use your intuition, your brain is what matters most and some people think two moves, some people five, some people, all this different stuff you got to understand. There's the conscious, the unconscious, the subconscious. I said that in the wrong order, but it's very much teaching her the game of life from a philosophical lens and from a contemplative place. It's not. Hey, make sure you do this next week. And then I have other clients where it's literally. I sent an eight bulleted list, eight step list of I want this done by the next time we talk and it depends what you need and I I do both with both, but mentors. Last question Okay, I think one of the reasons I'm just going to be very direct with this.

Alan Lazaros:

I think one of the reasons people don't get mentors is they're arrogant. I think it's arrogant to think you don't need mentors. I also.

Kevin Palmieri:

Well, it's hard if you don't have self-belief. Let me frame it the other way go ahead.

Alan Lazaros:

Yeah, good, good, high. It takes high humility to to know that you need mentors. I think that requires when you read books and you get mentors and you hire a coach. That shows humility. That shows I know that I don't know and I know I'm screwed if I don't get help. I think there's something really powerful with that. I do. I have some people I'm thinking of right now. They're just going to win forever and, honestly, all they have to do is show up and execute. Show up to the coaching and execute and you'll win forever. It's hard for me to share this, but I do know how to succeed. I know how to do it. That's how we're doing it. I know the steps and if you pay someone for that, you can literally just. It's like a strategy guide. Kevin thinks this is the best way I've ever described it.

Alan Lazaros:

Back in the day. Ocarina of Time, zelda, I'm telling you. N64, this is old school stuff. I was on the water temple. I couldn't fucking beat the water temple for the longest time. Man and I, we had a bunch of friends.

Alan Lazaros:

Everybody knows ocarina of time back in the day and 64 and who beats the game first? I wanted to beat the game first. Everybody else beat the game before me. I got stuck on the water temple. Turns out they bought the fucking strategy guide. They bought a goddamn magazine from walmart the one in northbridge, I don't know if it was actually that one and they looked at what to do. It gave you all the answers to the damn game. That is what a great mentor or a great coach is supposed to do. You can't skip steps, but we can tell you a lot and you can model what we did in your own unique way and as long as you have high humility and high work ethic, you can crush it. We have someone we're thinking of who stomped everybody at a show your friend matt and he had a coach. There's no way he would have won without, without this great coach and I just think it's really important. And I had a different coach and I got stomped. Your coach sucked.

Kevin Palmieri:

And Matt found his coach from me. Yeah, I did it. I didn't mentor Matt, matt and I kind of did it together. He said, hey, I need a coach. I got you here. I will let me introduce you to my mentor. Yeah, perfect. And when you were riding the struggle bus, I don't know if I connected you or Matt connected you, but I think I was like, dude, you got to talk to my coach A hundred percent.

Alan Lazaros:

Like no offense, but your coach is out here. I messaged him and said he had a cheat mail. He said nope.

Kevin Palmieri:

And I won the job. Your coach is out here jeffing Like this. Dude's legit good in hindsight. Huh, it wasn't great. Yeah, it's so. That's such an interesting thing. Well, that's always hard too when it's like a you have a close relationship, yeah, you know, with someone my coach didn't care about my feelings, which was good, that was. That was a good thing.

Kevin Palmieri:

In retrospect, it's a whole conversation, but yeah, yeah and that's a dangerous game that you I think that's that would be my next level lesson for this episode is figure out what type of mentor or coach you would work really well with. Yeah, I work really well with that type of. I don't really want special treatment. I don't want you to give oh, I'm dieting. I don't want to take my birthday off. I don't want to take Christmas off. I want to do the thing that I'm here to do.

Alan Lazaros:

I was on with someone earlier and I said I've really had to get over the fact that I'm what people need, not what they want most of the time. And this person who I'm thinking of, if you're listening you'll know who you are. I was on with her earlier and I said if you're game, you would do so well in my program Because I can just tell you're the type who will do more for me than you will for you. But it's for you, it's for you. I'm not telling you what to do, I'm telling you what you could do. You're cherry picking it and then I'm holding you accountable to what you say you want and to your goals, and then we can pivot along the way. But it's been really nice for me to lean into.

Alan Lazaros:

I used to say I want to my priority, your success is my priority. That's what I've been saying lately to my clients your success is my priority. I want you to be fulfilled too. I do, but success first. And so success first, fulfillment second, feelings third. I might be what you need, not what you want, and I think that that's take.

Alan Lazaros:

It takes humility to get what you need more than what you want, because it is a choice, it's? Do I want someone who I resonate with, who's going to be easy on me, or do I want someone who's going to tell me the truth and and hold me accountable and actually Get me to do what I know is my highest self? And so, at the end of the day, it's about high road coaching. If I could rename my coaching into anything it's, I will help you take the higher road. That's what Emilia does for me. Emilia takes the high road in everything. It's insane to watch. In everything every day. It inspires me.

Alan Lazaros:

I don't want to let Amelia down in anything right that helps me be a better man. Her example helps me be a better man and, yes, to some extent. Of course, she's not going to let me off the hook and be some lesser dude who's off the rails Of course not. I want to be with a high value woman who holds me accountable to being a high value fucking man, and that's a good thing. And if you want to be around people where the standards are high, it's going to be uncomfortable, but it's also going to elevate everything. It's going to get you to the next level. This is next-level university. This is not regular, average, mediocre university.

Kevin Palmieri:

Well, when you get what you need, eventually you get what you want, right, I think, in the other order it just doesn't work. It just doesn't work. If I gave you everything you wanted, you would still be missing all the things that you needed. To keep the things that you wanted so badly. That's the paradox. That's the paradox. So, when you get what you need and you see the blind spots and you start practicing consistency, I did something the other day I've never done in my life I read a book in bed. Nice, I've never done that. Yeah, I was just like I kind of want to read a book in bed tonight.

Alan Lazaros:

Nice.

Kevin Palmieri:

And that's going to be one of my new things, part of my nighttime routine. That's awesome.

Alan Lazaros:

Best way to fall asleep, man, I was tired as hell Out like a light. That's why I do it.

Kevin Palmieri:

I'm reading. Switch Nice. I'm reading.

Alan Lazaros:

Reset and Switch. Getting a lot of love lately. A lot of love, dan.

Kevin Palmieri:

Heath is awesome man In a Dan Heath phase, but the only reason I say that is because that's what I want to do is I want to watch tv every night, but I need to be learning more.

Alan Lazaros:

We're in a we're in a growth phase and there's so much going on and we're also around some really next level people lately that require you to know a lot. It's right you're feeling the pressure of that. We've got a new client that they play at a high level. It's important for you to step up, right? Yeah, it's fair. It's fair. I'm gonna try to get dan heath to club. I think that would be awesome.

Kevin Palmieri:

Maybe I would come to that one. Probably not. Still, probably not. I'm going to keep it very honest. I'm going to keep it frank with you. Don't make promises you can't keep.

Alan Lazaros:

But we did, we had A-Trucks and I wanted to see if we can get Dan Heath to book club for.

Kevin Palmieri:

Reset. We're doing Reset, by the way, in book club. It's right here for those of you on youtube every saturday 12 30 well, this week it's actually friday at 12 30 because our next level live. If you have not got your tickets, make sure you get tickets. They're only 47 and you get access to the replay last call. But yes, this friday is book club because saturday we have the event all day, but every other saturday at 12 30. Yes, sir.

Alan Lazaros:

We just finished the presentation, actually finished it.

Kevin Palmieri:

That is why it's 10.23 pm right now. This might be the latest we've ever recorded an episode. Maybe I don't know.

Alan Lazaros:

That would be wild 168 slides.

Kevin Palmieri:

Yeah, that's an overwhelming amount of slides.

Alan Lazaros:

Yep. So full day of personal development, creating your own unique version of success, like-minded people. It's about goal achievement, health, wealth and love. 168 slides. I can authentically say this is the best thing I will ever have presented to date to date, 47 bucks 47 bucks let us know. Reach out, dm me. Link in the show notes. Buy your ticket. Last call.

Kevin Palmieri:

Now is the time if you've ever spent like 15 bucks to buy a movie you've already seen, then I can't. I can't let you get off on the. Well, you know, I feel like I know a lot of that. You will know some of it and there is a very, very high chance that there's a lot of stuff that you're just not continuing. You're not as consistent as you could be. Same I read the same books over again because I it was good and I got momentum. It's like Ooh shit, this is going to change my life. And then, six months later, I'm reading a different book and I forgot most of what I learned already and I think that's just human nature.

Kevin Palmieri:

So if you have that piece of you jumping in saying, well, I've attended the meetups and I listened to the podcast and I probably know all that, you're going to hear some stuff for maybe the second or third time. But the question is are you practicing that stuff, not? Are you hearing it again?

Alan Lazaros:

And I guarantee you there's plenty in there that no one's ever heard, of course, yeah there's no one that's going to go to this and say I've heard it all 168 slides. There's no freaking way. I haven't heard it all. I can't imagine considering.

Kevin Palmieri:

This is my company. I'm the co-owner of this company. There's certain things that I learned when we were putting this together. So if you know it all, you can come take my spot and you can take over the podcast from me.

Alan Lazaros:

Emilia's coming. I sent her the PDF of all the slides. She's uploading them to her Remarkable so she can take notes onto them. Emilia's coming and she lives with me, so there's things she's going to learn. It's just awesome. I'm excited. I hope that you guys come we really hope to see you there, come join us.

Kevin Palmieri:

And if you have any questions?

Alan Lazaros:

DM us Boom If you have any questions.

Kevin Palmieri:

DM us Boom as always. We love you, we appreciate you, grateful for each and every one of you. Nlu, we do not have fans, we have family. We will talk to you all tomorrow.

Alan Lazaros:

Get some Next Level mentors, next Level Nation.

Kevin Palmieri:

Thanks for joining us for another episode of Next Level University. We love connecting with the Next Level family.

Alan Lazaros:

We mean it when we say family. If you ever need anything, please reach out to us directly. Everything you need to get a hold of us is in the show notes.

Kevin Palmieri:

Thank you again and we will talk to you tomorrow.

People on this episode

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Alan Lazaros

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Kevin Palmieri

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