Next Level University

1 Mindset Shift That Will Help You Take Action More Quickly (2029)

• Kevin Palmieri and Alan Lazaros

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In this episode of Next Level University, hosts Kevin Palmieri and Alan Lazaros break down a simple shift in thinking that helps you stop overthinking and start doing. They’ll show you how to tell the difference between actions that truly matter and ones that just feel big in the moment. With relatable stories and practical tips, you’ll learn how to push past fear, take action faster, and build the life you want—one brave step at a time.

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Alan: https://www.instagram.com/alazaros88/

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Alan@nextleveluniverse.com

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Kevin: https://www.linkedin.com/in/kevin-palmieri-5b7736160/
Alan: https://www.linkedin.com/in/alanlazarosllc/

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Show notes:
(2:18) Concrete Vs. Styrofoam
(4:13) Mistakes that feel big—but aren’t
(5:51) One speech, one connection, big impact
(8:20) Rejection stories that built confidence
(10:41) When you finally start believing in yourself
(14:10) Next Level Dreamliner: The planner, agenda, journal, and habit tracker to rule them all. Get a copy: https://a.co/d/9fPpxEt
(17:46) The real meaning of goals and identity
(26:09) Why the next step might change everything
(28:07) Outro

Send a text to Kevin and Alan!

Kevin Palmieri:

What if I told you that the reason you were so afraid of taking action is because you are overweighing what could possibly go wrong? You're catastrophizing something going wrong and even if it does go wrong, it's not going to be wrong to the degree that you think, and it's probably not going to matter in a month, never mind a year, from today.

Alan Lazaros:

Are you overly optimistic and you think everything's going to go right all the time? That tends to be me or are you overly pessimistic and irrational to Kevin's point where you are constantly looking at all the things that could go wrong, which is stopping you from actually taking consistent, courageous action?

Kevin Palmieri:

Welcome to Next Level University. I'm your host, Kevin Palmieri.

Alan Lazaros:

And I'm your co-host, Alan Lazarus.

Kevin Palmieri:

At NLU, we believe in a heart-driven but no BS approach to holistic self-improvement for dream chasers.

Alan Lazaros:

Our goal with every episode is to help you level up your life, love, health and wealth.

Kevin Palmieri:

We bring you a new episode every single day on topics like confidence, self-belief, self-worth, self-awareness, relationships, boundaries, consistency, habits and defining your own unique version of success Self-improvement in your pocket every day, from anywhere, completely free. Welcome to Next Level University. Welcome to Next Level University. A simple hack to make yourself more consistent. I was reading reset and in reset he was talking about dan heath was talking about where'd chip heath go? No, no love for chip in the second book got booted I don't know, man, I think so dan and chip heath, I believe are brothers I would make that assumption.

Kevin Palmieri:

Based on this they have the same last name.

Alan Lazaros:

Yeah, yeah. And Chip said nah, man, that ain't me.

Kevin Palmieri:

That's probably what's going to happen with us. We'll probably write a couple books, two, three books together, and then I'll kind of sail off on my own, become a prolific author. The rest will kind of work itself out.

Kevin Palmieri:

Isn't it wild how you're going to have a book before who knows, at this rate, who knows I was listening to reset and a very simple but pro profound thought. There are two different kinds of things, and they don't say this in the book this is my label but there are concrete actions and there are styrofoam actions and in this thought process, a concrete action is like that's like having a kid. That is a concrete action is like that's like having a kid. That is a concrete action that will change your life forever, no matter what happens. That is concrete. There's not a lot you can do to reverse that.

Kevin Palmieri:

A styrofoam action is sending an email to someone and being afraid of rejection. Concrete means it is something that is deeply meaningful, deeply impactful and it is extremely important. In the grand scheme of things, a styrofoam thing is something that is deeply meaningful, deeply impactful and it is extremely important. In the grand scheme of things, A styrofoam thing is something that is most likely not going to matter tomorrow, hypothetically. And then there is a scale in between. Right, Not everything is concrete, not everything is styrofoam.

Kevin Palmieri:

There are in-betweens. But how many of the things that we are procrastinating from, that we are running from, are based on the fact that we are treating them like they're concrete and they're the end of the world if they go wrong. And again, I understand that it's easier said than done because a lot of this is just highly emotional, is just highly emotional. But worst case scenario if you were to record a podcast episode and put it out there, absolute worst case scenario is it goes viral and everybody hates you. But the odds of that happening are so I don't want to say insignificantly small. They're so small that this is a styrofoam action.

Alan Lazaros:

Well, there's zero probability of it going viral and everyone hating you.

Kevin Palmieri:

Well, there's zero probability of it going viral and everyone hating you. Well, yes, unless you, let's say the vast majority of people hating you.

Alan Lazaros:

Even that is not going to happen.

Kevin Palmieri:

Yeah, it's most likely not going to happen, but we catastrophize styrofoam things into concrete things, and that is my thesis in today's episode.

Alan Lazaros:

One thing came up for me while you were talking, which was, I want to tell this happening. How many years ago was this? Two, three, four, kevin and I were preparing for a speech in the studio it was a virtual speech and at said speech that we did end up doing Kevin during the prep, for it was like, hey, man, let me drive for a minute.

Kevin Palmieri:

I want to see how this goes with me driving, remember that which, also real quick, I fucked the title up it's it's actually one mindset shift that will help you take action more quickly you said the wrong one yeah, I said a simple hack to make yourself more consistent. I was like wait, I think we already did that what's worse, the fact that you did it wrong.

Kevin Palmieri:

I didn't even notice well, if there was, if there wasn't, a better episode to mess up on, and this is the best. Up it's again that styrofoam doesn't matter. It really does. It's not that big of a deal all things considered, it's not that big of a deal did we plan that unconscious absolutely not. So yeah, this is actually episode number 2029. One mindset shift that'll help you take action more quickly welcome nice, nice.

Alan Lazaros:

Do you remember the speech I'm talking about?

Kevin Palmieri:

uh, where was it?

Alan Lazaros:

it was the first one that you took the reins and said let's go this way it was virtual, it was in the studio, it was when we met amy oh, yes, it was essentially when we were exposed to amy.

Alan Lazaros:

Okay, so the reason I'm telling the story is because kevin and I if we were too scared to give that speech at that speech we met amy. Amy, lenny she's speaking at next level live with us. Next level live already happened when this is done, so hopefully that went well. But amy's now a huge part of this company. I one courageous action can change your life and on the other end of that coin, one courageous action also can wither away to nothing. You plant certain seeds and they grow into something, and then other seeds they just don't, and it's very hard to know in advance which ones will grow into something, which ones won't. I remember you and I almost didn't give that speech.

Alan Lazaros:

I'm very grateful we did because we met so many people One of my clients showed it to Christy. I have so many people that I now have in my life in a meaningful way that I never would have met had it, had it not been for that one day. But we've done a lot of things that did work. It didn't work at that level.

Kevin Palmieri:

It's just hard to know which in advance well, some things work in an opposite way than you think. So you go do something that seems like it's the end of the world. It goes wrong and it doesn't work the way you thought, and then it ends up becoming like a super strength later.

Alan Lazaros:

Can you give an example?

Kevin Palmieri:

No, not, really no, no, I think a good one Nothing's coming, the one I well, I was mostly mostly joking I think I have a fair amount, but I think the one that stands out right well, there's so many.

Kevin Palmieri:

Let me thumb through the. I think the one that jumps off the page is there was a girl that I was crushing on back in the day at our, our old gym, and one day, every time I saw her, I was like I'm gonna go say hi to her. I'm gonna go say I never did. And every time I left the gym I was like I'm going to go say hi to her. I'm going to go say hi, and I never did.

Alan Lazaros:

And every time I left the gym I was like, yeah, she just had a baby, I think, or is she pregnant or something.

Kevin Palmieri:

I saw some photos come through. I'm not following her closely. I feel like that would be a little sketchy if I was.

Alan Lazaros:

No, she's a friend of a friend.

Kevin Palmieri:

She's see her, I'd be like I'm gonna go talk to her. I'm gonna go talk to her. And I never did, and I always regretted it when I left the gym and one day I was like just fucking do it man, and she said thank you so much, I appreciate it. I'm actually taken, but I I appreciate, I appreciate the approach. I did it very respectfully, not weird. I wasn't a weirdo and that was like.

Alan Lazaros:

Well, I was only around the corner well, hello there.

Kevin Palmieri:

Hey, I see you're doing the dumbbell sets my name is kevin. What's your name? My name is kevin. Nice to meet you.

Alan Lazaros:

I got rejected aren't you so glad those days are over, man? I'm so grateful those days are over. Honestly 100. I was never that. You know. I didn't shirk away from a lot of that stuff. I felt like pretty confident in that arena but I am still grateful that's over, because what a pain in the ass all that is.

Kevin Palmieri:

It was, and I got rejected and I think now that was one of the things of like. Honestly, it wasn't that big of a deal. I had thought about it. It's like, well, next time I see her in the gym it's going to be weird it as you make it, just put your head down and work out. It's not that big of a deal. It's really not that big of a deal. So that was super helpful for me. And all the times I got rejected early in business, that is super helpful. Now, I mean, I think the one of the times early on one of the biggest shifts ever for me I felt like I had so much imposter syndrome. I had just started coaching people and I was like somebody eventually is going to find me out and figure out I'm a fraud. And eventually somebody DM'd me on Instagram and they said, hey, I don't mean anything negative by this, but what gives you the right to be a coach? And I was like, oh shit, it's happening. I am found out. This is the end.

Alan Lazaros:

This is the end of me.

Kevin Palmieri:

And then I was like all right, let me formulate a message and respond to this person. And I responded and I said number one, I appreciate the fact that you're not attacking me because I'd have to put you down if you were. I'm grateful you're not. I said well, to put you down if you were grateful you're not. I said well. At this point, I've recorded I don't know 200 podcast episodes all about self-improvement.

Kevin Palmieri:

I've interviewed some of the most successful people on the planet. Somehow. I don't know how that, how we got to that point, but that that's happening.

Alan Lazaros:

I've done self-improvement somehow I've done self-improvement into that. You know it's like funny. Yeah, somehow it just kind of happened, it happened. I've done self-improvement into that. You know it's like funny. Yeah, somehow it just kind of happened, it happened, I've done self-improvement every day for however many days in a row.

Kevin Palmieri:

I am kind of I'm not successful at this point, but like I'm leaning into a business that's slowly becoming successful I went from suicidal to leaving my job to living my dreams.

Kevin Palmieri:

I listed all those things out and I sent them and the person said, alright, cool, yeah, seems legit. And I remember after that it was like, oh my goodness, I just had to prove to somebody else something that I was not able to prove to myself yet and that was such an important lesson for me. But that's something that's kind of that's not concrete. If somebody reaches out and and doubts what you're doing, it's not concrete. But I do think the mindset dictates whether it's concrete or styrofoam, way more than maybe the action or the behavior or the feedback does you remember way back next Next Level, live 2020?

Kevin Palmieri:

Do you remember when I had a slide up of a kitten looking into a puddle? That was 2022, I believe. Seriously it feels like so long ago. 2024 was at Groton, 2023 was the second one in Worcester. I think it was 2022. That was the one where you were talking about. Everybody was a Redwood right, yeah.

Alan Lazaros:

He gives space when he says that If you're not on YouTube, he yeah, for no reason.

Kevin Palmieri:

He didn't like that speech, no particular reason.

Alan Lazaros:

Not a big fan of my speech on that one, goddamn so. But you remember the image. So it's a kitten looking into a puddle seeing a tiger. Why is my lights freaking out? I have a client who is rating from 0 to 10 kitten or tiger and we talked about how do you tie your identity, and I have an article that I wrote called Quantum Goal, setting way back, and if anyone wants it, I'll actually put the link in the show notes. If you want to check it out, it's on my LinkedIn.

Kevin Palmieri:

I was hoping you would say if anybody wants it, too bad, Because it doesn't exist anymore.

Alan Lazaros:

It doesn't exist anymore. No, I didn't delete that one. It's actually not called Quantum Goal Setting. That's what I call it. It goal setting, that's what I call it. It's called how to set and achieve, how to actually set and achieve your goals, something like that. Anyways, the link will be in the show notes. Kev, give me a minute. No, it's okay, I interrupted you 8,000 times. We're good.

Alan Lazaros:

So the point that I'm making, though, is there's all these different types of goals. What this client was doing is waiting to get the results before they felt like the tiger, but the paradox there is until you treat yourself of value in advance, you actually won't get those results, and so that's the paradox we all have to work through. It's how do you hold the identity of who you are, who you used to be, who you are now and who you need to be, who you aspire to be, and how do you sort of merge those and the different types of goals in quantum goal setting? Let me see if I can get this. There's results goals, character goals, mastery goals, process goals. Let me go through each and give an example, because otherwise it won't land Okay.

Alan Lazaros:

Results goals is what I think most people tie their self-esteem to. Once I get the car, once I get the house, once I get the girl or the guy, once I get the body, then I'll be confident. It doesn't work like that. You're not going to get the body until you're confident first. If you're not confident enough to go to the gym, you're never going to get the results that are a byproduct of going to the gym. So you have to have other goals that work in tandem with the results goal. That's the point of the article. Hello, hello, hello. Nlu listener. Thank you, as always, for listening to Next Level University. Real quick, I just want to jump in and let you know about the Next Level Dreamliner. This is a journal that I use every single day. Achieve your dreams 90 days at a time. It breaks down your dreams into goals, milestones and daily habits. We hope you enjoy it. The link will be in the show notes and so I'll go through these one by one. So results goals is what most people think they want. That's the start of the growth journey. So results goals is what most people think they want. That's the start of the growth journey.

Alan Lazaros:

So for me, when I was younger, I really wanted to. Brad Pitt and Troy went 2004. I remember thinking like, if I could look like that, that would help me not be overlooked by every female. Okay, so that's a result goal, but you can't just wait until you're 42. You've got to do some stuff first. Okay, so the next would be character goals. Okay, character is internal.

Alan Lazaros:

Who do you want to be as a man? Who do you want to be as a woman? Who do you want to be as a husband or a wife, or as a father or a mother, or as a podcaster, as a person, what do you want to stand for? Internal? Then next is mastery goals skills. What do you want to get really good at? Basketball, snowboarding, video games, weight training, podcasting, coaching, training, whatever it is Lights going nuts again. Okay. So now you've got results goals, mastery goals and character goals. I did the wrong order. After that's process, process goals. So this person is doing two YouTube videos a week long form. That's a process. Can you do that? Okay, and then three. So for us it was one episode, then two episodes, then three episodes. Now it's seven. Then there's contribution goals. What's the impact you want to have? What do you want to serve the world in what way? You used to mention a dog shelter all the time Back in the day?

Kevin Palmieri:

yes, Back in the day that was my example, shout out to our team.

Alan Lazaros:

Someone on our team has many dogs and it is creating a dog shelter, so okay, so let me go through them real quick Results goals, character goals, mastery goals, process goals, contribution goals. And then the last one is inner circle goals, meaning who do you aspire to be around. And then the last, last, last one. I think there's seven, and I think the last one is I wrote this article a long time ago Hold on, hold on Philanthropic goals. No, no, although that would be a good addition if I would have picked another one. Results character, mastery, process, inner circle, contribution, probably growth goals, personal development goals. I don't know what the last one is. I can look it up while you talk.

Kevin Palmieri:

You want me to talk, so this was something I overlooked when it happened. I'm willing to bet that if I made the mistake I made today in episode number 20, I would have canned the episode Probably. So I think it's a little hypocritical. I'm going to be very honest. I think it's a little hypocritical of me to say look at how easy it is to have something that is styrofoam end up seeming concrete, or vice versa. But that would be the challenge If I had just started a podcast today and I made the mistake I made. Maybe that's a different game, right? Maybe it's not apples to apples.

Alan Lazaros:

Well, I think that's one thing you and I never want to lose sight of, right, that's the goal.

Kevin Palmieri:

That's the goal. But I also understand that if I hadn't done 2,000 of these, I would probably care a lot more. Not that I don't care, I just don't. It's not the end of the world, it's not that big of a deal. Tomorrow we'll get back up on the horse and try it again the episode we did earlier today, but this would be Saturday's episode, so yesterday's episode.

Alan Lazaros:

Okay, so yesterday's episode. When I got off it I went right to a coaching session and I had that moment of oh that was. That was a vulnerable one. I forget what we were talking about, but uh, we were talking about, I talked a lot about my past.

Alan Lazaros:

In that one I talked about my stepdad and my you know that and I just realized, okay, okay, I was a little bit wounded in that one. That's okay. I don't think I went too bad or off the rails or anything, but I had that moment and I want to share with everyone watching or listening. If you ever do want to podcast or speak, you're going to get triggered in the middle of speaking. I mean, I talked about it was yesterday's episode. I said verbatim something along the lines of this everyone out there watching or listening, you can think of someone who is not taking care of themselves, who it hurts you to see them not taking care of themselves, cause you know, they may not be here for the long run because of that.

Alan Lazaros:

And I realized after the episode was done I was, wow, I'm hurt a little like that was that? Was that hurt, like that triggered me, and I think after that I probably got more passionate. That tends to be what I do, because what am I going to do? Shut down the middle of the episode. But there's something there, too, of we need to remember how, how hard this was in the beginning, even though we've done it so many times, so I appreciate that you mentioned that. I also figured out that it was mentor goals, by the way mentor goals so who do you want for mentors? And the link to the article will be in the show notes. I do believe that this framework will help you. If you're someone out there who's waiting for the result to feel good enough or to feel confident, this will help tremendously.

Kevin Palmieri:

I think it's easy to lose sight. I think we all lose sight of it in some way, shape or form. The first day at your job, maybe you thought it was going to go horribly wrong and you didn't know what you were doing. And now it's super easy to do. I think we all lose sight of this in some way, shape or form. The unfortunate piece of it is, oftentimes it's the stuff that isn't the deepest, closest and most meaningful to us. It's the stuff that we I don't want to say are forced to do. But I think a lot of the fears that we overcome, a lot of the discomforts that we work through, a lot of the resistance that we push through, is because it's a necessity to pay the bills as opposed to improve as a person. How many fears did I have to overcome when I was doing the job that required all that travel? Would I ever have done that if it wasn't attached to a paycheck?

Kevin Palmieri:

Who knows who knows. So there was a lot of extra necessity there, but there wasn't necessity to grow. Kevin, that was all a result of me having to do that in order to get the goal of making more money, and I think that's something interesting. You're probably way better at this than you think. In certain arenas you just don't give yourself credit for it. I'm willing to bet. Or if you have kids, if you have kids and you have, if you have kids and they come home and they're losing their mind because they have a book, what the hell is it a?

Kevin Palmieri:

book report something like that and you're like it's, it's kevin's hated book reports. Man, same same, it's gonna be fine. It's not that big of a deal. I remember when I was in, like I don't know, fourth grade, maybe fifth grade, we had to make a menu from a restaurant that didn't exist but we thought would be cool. Mine was Roadkill Cafe. That was my restaurant. Jeez man.

Kevin Palmieri:

Yeah, man there actually is one of those. I think that's where I got it from. I think I got like a C or something. I thought this was golden. I thought this was the creme de la creme, so to speak. Not, it wasn't. Also, I don't know if I've ever told this podcast. How much time do we have? Okay, in high school we had a Spanish teacher who, unfortunately, I was a dick in Spanish class. I was an asshole. I was in that class.

Alan Lazaros:

I was an asshole. I was in the class with you, I'm pretty sure.

Kevin Palmieri:

Maybe it was bad, I mean this.

Alan Lazaros:

Were we in the same class? I don't think so. I definitely had this teacher, though that threw a desk out of the second story window.

Kevin Palmieri:

Dude, honestly.

Alan Lazaros:

I was. I know the teacher you're referring to and I had her for Spanish as well. I don't know if I was in your class or not, but I was definitely. My class ran amok with her.

Kevin Palmieri:

I feel, unfortunately, I feel like every class did, and I am guilty and not proud of being an asshole. One of the things we had to do is we had to make a Spanish video, and everything you we had to do is we had to make a Spanish video and everything you said had to be in Spanish. We made Spanish jackass. It was me, andrew Dustin, I think, and Chris and we made a Spanish jackass and one of the things I was running backwards on a treadmill and then somebody threw a big exercise ball and I did a header and landed on my head. My arm got stuck. I still have a scar on my wrist to this day. My arm got stuck under myself on the treadmill and it just kept going. It burned my skin off. We just did a bunch of random stuff and we tried to speak Spanish in it. I thought it was going to be the biggest hit.

Kevin Palmieri:

I'm pretty sure we failed. I think we failed that, all things considered, it doesn't matter that much. That's the point I'm trying to make. There are some things in life that matter way more than you give credit for your health drinking enough water, getting enough enough sleep, that type of stuff. That's super important. We don't give enough credit to that. Those are concrete, those are more concrete things for sure. That's my, that's my next level lesson in this. I think we're all really good in an arena at this, especially when we're giving advice to other people.

Alan Lazaros:

Sometimes it's hard to take our own advice well, here's the brother, and we'll end with this. Everything matters a ton and these little things don't matter that much, but that's so hard to freaking articulate. I know Missing one day of exercise is actually a big deal when it comes to the compound effect, but it's not a big deal either and it's very hard to articulate this in a powerful way. So everyone think of probably the best way we can go is everyone think of a time in the past one decision that made a big difference. I'll give you. So I'm going to go through my four best decisions I've ever made. The first one was going to WPI. Best decision I ever made Engineering college. I got around some of the smartest people on earth and it changed my freaking life. It also was wildly, alarmingly difficult. Computer engineering was fucking brutal. Number two I left my ex-girlfriend Best choice ever of all time. Second best. Third best choice was DMing Emilia Smith. Fourth one would be going on my own after corporate and starting.

Kevin Palmieri:

What the fuck? Where was I in there? I thought I was going to be number four.

Alan Lazaros:

That is. That is where what led me to this.

Alan Lazaros:

I'm obviously kidding, okay, but starting out in Lazarus LLC, what you'll never learn in school but desperately need to know after my car accident 10 years ago. That's my fourth, but for everyone out there watching or listening I hope you're not just listening to mine. I hope you're thinking about a couple choices that you made that changed everything. Maybe it was where to live. Maybe it was to DM somebody. If I had never DM'd Emilia, dude, my whole world would be different. So here's the truth If you get rejected when you invite someone to an event, or you invite someone on your podcast, or you send that DM, or you invite someone on your podcast or you send that DM, it's not the end of the world.

Alan Lazaros:

However, you not doing those things, the opportunity cost to the point of the last episode might be massive, but I never would have known any different If I had never met Emilia. I would never have known any different because I'd never experienced anything like this before, because I'd never experienced anything like this before. So that's why it's so important for you to take the courageous next step, the courage to take that next step. It took courage to DM Emilia when I thought she had a boyfriend because her Facebook said she did. It took courage, and if I didn't have that courage I would not be the man I am today. So just courageous, massive, messy action. I know you don't like the massive thing, but courageous next move. What's the courageous next move? I know we got to jump.

Kevin Palmieri:

We do have to jump. Last thing, last, last thing. I got to get the last word in here. I hate to be that guy, I do but I got to get it.

Kevin Palmieri:

I think it's not that bad. You face a level two fear and you're like, yeah, this actually wasn't that bad. Now, a level 10 fear might be too much. I'm not saying it's ever not going to be that, but the familiarity of chaos is a good thing if the chaos is constructive. That's what I will end with. Okay, april 15th 2025. Next level podcast accelerator. So if you are a podcaster who is looking to level up yourself, level up your podcast and level up your business, or start a business from your podcast. That is the direction our group coaching is going. Excuse me, tickets. My goodness, I'm all over the place today. With the discount code. It ends up being $96.60 per month and you get four calls per month. That's like $24.80 per call. That is a bargain at twice the price.

Alan Lazaros:

Group 18,. We've perfected this program for 17 groups. This is super, super valuable. Let this be the Mario Kart booster. The Mario Kart booster that brings you to your goals and dreams. That's what this will be 90 days, 12 weeks, rock and roll. It's going to be absolutely awesome. The link will be in the show notes.

Kevin Palmieri:

As always, we love you, we appreciate you, grateful for each and every one of you and at NLU we don't have fans, we have family. We will talk to you all tomorrow. Keep it Next, nation.

Alan Lazaros:

Thanks for joining us for another episode of Next Level University. We love connecting with the Next Level family. We mean it when we say family. If you ever need anything, please reach out to us directly. Everything you need to get a hold of us is in the show notes.

Kevin Palmieri:

Thank you again and we will talk to you tomorrow.

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Alan Lazaros

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Kevin Palmieri

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