Next Level University

What Got You Here WON’T Get You There… (2039)

• Kevin Palmieri and Alan Lazaros

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Ever feel like you’re working hard but not getting ahead? In this episode, Kevin and Alan break down why the habits, beliefs, and strategies that got you where you are today won’t get you where you truly want to go. From burnout to brute force, they share hard-won lessons on growth, reinvention, and making smart choices that actually move the needle. Tune in to learn how to figure out what to keep, what to let go of, and how to stay in the game without losing yourself.

Digital Asset:
Systems Thinking - https://drive.google.com/file/d/1EDN83bmu0Z8xor1dWvhEmLOKxSk3sRFH/view

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Next Level Book Club - https://www.nextleveluniverse.com/next-level-book-club/
Next Level Monthly Meet-ups - https://www.nextleveluniverse.com/monthly-meetups/
Free 30-minute Coaching Call with Alan - https://calendly.com/alanlazaros/30-minute-business-breakthrough-session?month=2025-04

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NLU is not just a podcast; it’s a gateway to a wealth of resources designed to help you achieve your goals and dreams. From our Next Level Dreamliner to our Group Coaching, we offer a variety of tools and communities to support your personal development journey.

For more information, please check out our website at the link below. 👇

Website 💻  http://www.nextleveluniverse.com

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We love connecting with you guys! Reach out on Instagram, Facebook, or via email. We’re here to support you in your personal and professional development journey.

Instagram 📷
Kevin: https://www.instagram.com/neverquitkid/
Alan: https://www.instagram.com/alazaros88/

Facebook ✍
Alan: https://www.facebook.com/alan.lazaros
Kevin: https://www.facebook.com/kevin.palmieri.90/

Email 💬
Kevin@nextleveluniverse.com
Alan@nextleveluniverse.com

LinkedIn ✍
Kevin: https://www.linkedin.com/in/kevin-palmieri-5b7736160/
Alan: https://www.linkedin.com/in/alanlazarosllc/

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Show notes:
(3:43) Burnout from brute-force work
(7:30) What to keep or let go?
(11:26) What would your life die without?
(18:11) Input, output, measure, adjust
(21:45) Reverse engineering success
(24:12) At NLU, we want you to win! So, we're giving tools and resources to ensure your success. Join our Monthly Meet-up every first Thursday of the month at 5 PM. https://www.nextleveluniverse.com/monthly-meetups/
(30:11) The four quotients of growth
(33:43) Want extraordinary? Become extraordinary
(39:24) Hacks Vs. Deep personal work
(44:43) Success is a long game of design
(46:54) Outro

Send a text to Kevin and Alan!

Kevin Palmieri:

Here is why success is so hard, and this is one of the many, many, many reasons. There is a list of things you're doing right now and maybe 25% of that list aren't serving you. It's just not serving you anymore. It was serving you six months ago. It was serving you a year ago. It's not serving you like it was at that time. Another 25% of the list is absolutely crushing it, but you don't realize it yet. I think one of the hardest things to understand is so much of what got you to where you are today is not going to take you to the next level, but there are some things that you're going to have to do forever, and how do we differentiate between the two?

Alan Lazaros:

My four rules for success. Number one is stop the wrong trains. Number two is start the right trains. Number three is improve the right trains. And number four is never, ever, ever lose momentum. Unfortunately, what it has taken to get to this level, you're going to have to evolve and adapt in order to get to the next level. However, there are certain things that need to be done on every level.

Kevin Palmieri:

Welcome to Next Level University. I'm your host, Kevin Palmieri.

Alan Lazaros:

And I'm your co-host, Alan Lazarus.

Kevin Palmieri:

At NLU, we believe in a heart-driven but no BS approach to holistic self-improvement for dream chasers.

Alan Lazaros:

Our goal with every episode is to help you level up your life love health and wealth.

Kevin Palmieri:

We bring you a new episode every single day, on topics like confidence, self-belief, self-worth, self-awareness, relationships, boundaries, consistency, habits and defining your own unique version of success.

Alan Lazaros:

Self-improvement in your pocket, every day, from anywhere, completely free.

Kevin Palmieri:

Welcome to Next Level University, next Level Nation today for episode number 2039. What got you here won't get you there. We have clients that have a big YouTube channel and it's all about retirement. That have a big YouTube channel and it's all about retirement, and I am currently doing the video editing and their episode today was all about the habits that got you into retirement are not the same habits that are going to create a fulfilling retirement. And they were talking about how. So the one of the hosts he was talking about how his dad was really good at sales and he was really good at business and he used to have what they would call three martini lunches.

Kevin Palmieri:

So they would go out to lunch with prospective clients, they'd hammer martinis in there.

Kevin Palmieri:

He'd go home, he'd take a nap, he'd go play golf, he'd have some more martinis. Started out as joy and pleasure in retirement ended up creating a lack of purpose, a lack of mission, and he essentially said his dad, like his dad's retirement, was just him waiting to die. And one of the theses is one of the themes. One of the takeaways in the video was what got you to retirement is not going to get you to a fulfilling one, and I think it's like that with everything. What got you to this level of your intimate relationship is not going to get you to the next one, and I don't mean that from a negative perspective, but that is what growth is? You okay, you and I have been talking about this. We have been working a lot lately. It's been an absolute freaking grind. What got us to where we are in business is also affecting our relationship. So what got us to where we are in business is not going to get me to the relationship I want. It's not going to get Alan to the relationship he wants For a long time. What got us to where we are in business was not going to get us to the bodies we wanted. So we had to work on that. We had to work on that.

Kevin Palmieri:

Anytime you're getting a new result, there is an opportunity that something you're doing is not good enough, quality enough, competent enough, aware enough, focused enough. Every time you get a new opportunity, there's a lesson. So the opportunity is okay, I'm going to go try to do this thing. The delta between you knowing how to do it and actually being able to do it is what has to change, and I think that's why it's so hard. There are certain things you got to do forever. You got to work hard forever and you got to work smart forever. But it changes.

Kevin Palmieri:

It's like I've been working 70 hours a day. I should probably work a little bit smarter. You can't work 70 hours a day. You watch me, baby. On the other end there might be somebody out there. That's like I work seven seconds a day and I'm not getting Well. Okay, that's not enough. You got to work a little bit harder. But it's just really hard to know how to go about this, because it's easy to get momentum and say go about this. Because it's easy to get momentum and say, like, what the hell caused this? Well, how did we get to where we are and what do we change and what don't we? So, yeah, I thought this would make for a cool episode, because we're in a phase right now of we've worked really, really, really hard and we we're gonna work hard forever. I don't think we've worked very smart, I think smart.

Alan Lazaros:

I think it lasts for me. I was talking to a.

Kevin Palmieri:

I was talking to a business owner the other day compared to who, who have worked smart compared to my desire I was talking to. I was talking to a business owner the other day and they were asking me kind of for advice and they said how did you get to like where you guys got to? And I said brute force, brute, fucking force. And she said what's an example of that? And I was like, uh, what's an example of that? Well, we had.

Kevin Palmieri:

She asked about the live event. She said how'd the live event go? And I said it went as well as it could. There were things that popped up. There's always things that popped up.

Kevin Palmieri:

She said what's an example of brute force? I said I worked 36 hours in two days that I just got up and just went and did it and just zombied the whole time and then drove home an hour from the venue the night before, woke up at five, took a shower, drove back to the venue for a 16 hour day, drove home another hour that night. Then I drove an hour back to the hotel to drive amy, an hour to the airport, to drive an hour home on sunday and then monday I got up and it was a normal freaking day, I got up at six and went to the gym. That's just an example of of absolute brute force. That it's great, that it's great to have that tool, it's great to be able to pull that out. Without smart work, you burn yourself out and and eventually you, you meet, you reach the max, you meet the man you meet this alan said something.

Kevin Palmieri:

This is going to be a new saying on nlu. We were talking before this and I don't remember what we were talking about, but he said I too he was trying to say me too.

Alan Lazaros:

He said I too, yeah, I all, I too, I, I also. So this is difficult for me to articulate, because this is what I do in coaching. This is all kind of all I do, which is just strategy, strategy, strategy, strategy, strategy, strategy. How many times you think I can say strategy? I think you said it five right there, nice.

Kevin Palmieri:

About another dozen in you.

Alan Lazaros:

But I would say that's the 80% of my coaching sessions are probably just strategy. Strategy about what right?

Kevin Palmieri:

What to do and what not to do. I crack my window just a wee bit. It's a 60 degree night here in New Hampshire. I crack my window just a bit and I don't want to hear a fucking word of it. Okay, sounds good okay, all right.

Alan Lazaros:

So for anyone out there watching or listening, who does not care whatsoever about kevin's window and wants to hear about strategy, yes how does one know what they need to keep and what they need to get rid of to get to the next level? That's a good question you asking me. I think we should both contemplate that that's.

Kevin Palmieri:

Alan's way of saying honestly, brother, I'd really appreciate if you would ask me that question.

Alan Lazaros:

No, I do think we should both answer it, because that is the base challenge. I've been saying that a lot that's a big, big challenge, not the base challenge. I've been saying that a lot that's a big, big challenge, not the base challenge Big challenge. The base challenge is self-belief. Once you have self-belief, you'll have a goal. Once you have a goal, you need to set a standard, but then you have to figure out what to do and what not to do, and I think that what to do and what not to do changes based on circumstance.

Kevin Palmieri:

I think you have to, for lack of better phrasing. It doesn't have to be this cut and dry, but I think you have to be obsessed with getting to the root cause. Agreed, we showed this. This was a slide for Next Level Live, and it was so. Alan and I have Aura Rings. I think Emilia got you one, or you got Emilia one. I found out about Aura Rings from you and, again, we're not sponsored.

Alan Lazaros:

This isn't an ad or anything, and all my clients, by the way, are in a aura circle you should get 100 affiliate payback on that well, an aura circle is what?

Kevin Palmieri:

you should. An aura circle is free.

Alan Lazaros:

An aura circle is just okay.

Kevin Palmieri:

Business coaching no, no I know what it is okay how many people have you got to buy aura rings? Yeah, a lot, but I don't care about any of that. See, that's so that that right there is hard work. Alan would rather grind his face off than get a little kickback from aura I yeah, I'm not about it yeah that's not.

Alan Lazaros:

I'm not here to sell aura rings. What are we doing? Well although I do think this episode I'm not here to sell but if you want one, click the link.

Kevin Palmieri:

I'm kidding, we don't have a link. We don't have a link.

Alan Lazaros:

Seriously, though, I just want to see people flourish. I do. It is such a good tool.

Kevin Palmieri:

I was hoping you were going to say seriously, though there is a link in the bio.

Alan Lazaros:

I can't, I can't. There is a link to the Dreamliner and other things. We sell. Yes, yes, yes but I do think, or is amazing what were you, what was your point?

Kevin Palmieri:

I. So we had a slide for next level life. There is a point I promise, and it was how I got like a 65 sleep score, a 68 sleep score. And I remember thinking what changed? A caffeine intake has not changed. Exercises are the same, same supplements, same work day, going to bed at the same time. And I remember thinking, oh, you know what, I think it's too hot. When I'm cold, like physically cold. When I get into bed I sleep better. So I said, all right, let me test this out. I put the heat on 70 or it was technically the AC on 70. Nope, didn't work. 68. Perfect, I somebody gave. Me. Remember how I told you about a magnesium mallet supplement I was given. I have not got below an 80 sleep score since I started taking it.

Kevin Palmieri:

I'm obsessed with figuring out. If that's what it is I, I need to know, I need to. So I think that's the answer is you have to be a little bit of a detective to go back and say, okay, when did I start this? Okay, how much of a difference did that make? All right, let me connect the dots. One of the questions I asked this business owner who was asking me for advice, I said what was? What were you doing when things were going the best? And they said, well, I was doing this, but I don't think I want to do that again. And I said, well, that's where I would start. Why don't you want to do it? Well, I don't really enjoy it. You got to do it. It worked. That's what. That's what was working before. I think that's a really, that's a really good thing. Another question you and I asked ourselves and each other this, and it changed business in a lot of ways.

Alan Lazaros:

What would our business die without, yeah, so fire what would your morning routine die without?

Kevin Palmieri:

what would your relationship die without? Whatever? I think that's a potentially hard question to ask, but a good question. What?

Alan Lazaros:

would you suggest I think it's exactly that. I were you in the WhatsApp group where I said I'm trying to Sherlock Holmes this thing, yes. Was that group coaching or something.

Kevin Palmieri:

That was there was an anomaly. No, it was other media, I think.

Alan Lazaros:

Oh right, yeah, so there was a calendar event on my calendar, obviously that. I. There was a no-show to a podcast I was supposed to be on and then I went into the messages and apparently it was rescheduled. Me, laura emails. I'm trying to figure out what the hell happened. And I said I'm going to Sherlock Holmes, this thing. What I mean is I'm going to look at all the clues and try to figure out what happened, because if I figure out what went wrong I can improve our processes.

Kevin Palmieri:

It's key. It's key, but I don't know how do you teach that If that's not natural? I don't think that was natural to me.

Alan Lazaros:

Yeah, I would say no, Sorry. Okay, one time Kev comes to me he's like hey, we went to a thing, taryn and I.

Kevin Palmieri:

Guess who.

Alan Lazaros:

Yeah, guess who Guess who? Clue is a great example. I think it was Mr Plum with the candlestick. In the fucking billiard room. I'm getting good at Clue. Have you ever seen the Sherlock Holmes movies with Robert Downey Jr?

Kevin Palmieri:

No.

Alan Lazaros:

They're awesome.

Kevin Palmieri:

Look man, I don't. If I'm going to, have a half hour to watch something. I'm going to watch something dumb on YouTube. Okay, you know All right.

Alan Lazaros:

Anyways, one of my favorite fictional characters, my favorite fictional character is Sherlock Holmes and I actually recommended that to a client recently because she's trying to learn how to get to root cause analyses. Do a root cause analysis and I said when you watch Sherlock Holmes, that's kind of how Kevin and I there's a character called Wilson. I said Kevin's Wilson in the films, which you I think would like if you ever saw the fucking thing. But it doesn't matter. The point is they're a good team. Wilson is more emotionally driven. Sherlock Holmes is much more analytical. Is Wilson more?

Kevin Palmieri:

Jack than Sherlock.

Alan Lazaros:

You see what Kevin asks.

Kevin Palmieri:

I don't imagine either. Neither Either of them lift it's.

Alan Lazaros:

Robert, wow, it's Robert Downey Jr. And oh no, you'll know, hold on. Oh no, you'll know. Why can't I think of the name?

Kevin Palmieri:

Don't know.

Alan Lazaros:

Wow, that's going to annoy me.

Kevin Palmieri:

What's this person look like?

Alan Lazaros:

That's going to annoy me a lot. It's not even on the tip of my tongue, it's not even there. He's going to have to look, it's in my brain though for sure, hold on, you'll recognize it 100%. It got a 7.6. Oh, jude Law.

Kevin Palmieri:

Jude Law. I was going to guess something like that.

Alan Lazaros:

Robert Downey Jr and Jude Law they have an awesome dynamic in that For sure.

Alan Lazaros:

It's hilarious, it's really funny. It doesn't matter. All right, I'm not trying to sell a guy a movie or aura rings. What I am trying to do? Anomalies bug me. An anomaly is something that doesn't fit the pattern. I've said this before One, two, three, five, six, seven, four, four breaks the pattern, four is missing.

Alan Lazaros:

I need to know what's missing. Why? Because when you figure out what's missing now, you can connect a deeper understanding. And now you can. There's a future potentiality that is now possible. Let me give a tangible example.

Alan Lazaros:

There was an episode not long ago I think two or three episodes back where I said Kev, I'm going to take away all your knowledge. Hypothetically, I'm going to wave a magic wand. Kevin knows nothing about podcasting, he knows nothing about business, he knows nothing about finance, he knows nothing about you, don't know how to read or write, you don't know mathematics, you don't know science, you don't know chemistry or biology or any of those things. And you playfully joked and said well, that's about where I'm at. It's pretty accurate, it's not. But what would you do? And you said I would do nothing. The truth is you'd be stuck. Knowledge is potential power. And how do you gain knowledge. You figure out what you're missing. My whole life is spent figuring out what am I missing. What am I missing? What am I missing, dude? Back in the day, when I was in relationships, I couldn't figure out why I sucked at them but I think that question is easier than what are you not missing?

Kevin Palmieri:

what are you missing? I think it's easier. How do you know if what you're doing is working? If you're doing five things, how do you know how much credit to give to each thing?

Alan Lazaros:

Yeah, that is very challenging.

Kevin Palmieri:

I feel like that might be harder.

Alan Lazaros:

She's always asking me. She says I need math Jeff and she texted me what's up to me. Yesterday I think it was nine at night or something she said I need to talk to math Jeff and she was writing an email proposal. Chat gpt is very wrong about a lot of math. Everyone out there who uses chat gpt. The mathematics are alarmingly wrong and I don't know if they're gonna like maybe it's the prompt she's using or whatever but that's the second time. Third, I've seen that happen Like double check chat GPT math.

Kevin Palmieri:

It's happened to me many times.

Alan Lazaros:

I analyze the team's time, where they're investing their time, and I use chat GPT. It was not, no, absolutely not Not good. I think I'm going to do it myself for now and then, once they fix that, I'll probably use it again. But I mean, why is chat GPT so bad at math? I, why is chat GPT so bad at math? I do not get it yet Again, that's an example of something I feel like I need to know.

Alan Lazaros:

Here's what that says. I'm missing something. Now to get back to your original question how do you know if something's working? You kind of have to. You have to be a scientist, you have to be a Sherlock Holmes, you have to see. I remember you came to me, you were going on and then we had a big Q3 that year. You know, nine months later, it depends on yeah, I don't know if I have a good answer. I just you have to calculate it in your brain. It's the system's thinking. Okay, it's input for a specific output. Okay, break this down For anyone out there watching or listening.

Alan Lazaros:

We have a digital asset that we presented at Next Level Live that I downloaded and I'm going to put it into a Google Drive folder. Production team, please put it in the Google Drive folder. Below it's a square, simple, it's input, output, measure, adjust. This is why I'm so big on measuring things. If you don't measure anything, you don't have anything to go on. It's like a self-driving car that can't see anything. It's like you're blind. Okay, real quick. Input for everyone out there watching or listening download the asset. Input is what you say, think, do, feel and believe. Those are the inputs and those are based on what you pay attention to. Those are based on your analytical thinking and your intelligence, your awareness, your deeper understanding. All right, the output is the results you get as a byproduct. Then you measure the results. So let's say the input is kevin eats 1600 calories and works out for an hour today nice the output is.

Alan Lazaros:

Tomorrow morning he steps on the scale and it's like, fuck yeah, pound down, baby. Then you adjust and go I want to lose more weight, so I'm gonna actually do 1500 today. I'm gonna work out an hour and 15 minutes instead, and then you measure again and you don't lose weight. It's like, oh, what am I missing? What you're missing is the fact that water weight, hormones. You slept a different amount, maybe you took magnesium, whatever. You have to be a constant scientist when it comes to external achievement. It's all science. There is no emotion, it doesn't matter like. That's why robots can accomplish so much. There is no emotion, it doesn't matter Like that's why robots can accomplish so much.

Kevin Palmieri:

There is no emotion in achievement. I have a question. Okay, this is going to. I'm going to fuck you up with the truth. Are you prepared? You're sitting down, for sure? Okay, I assumed as much, but I had to make sure this is all under the assumption that the person started the system intentionally. Of course that is. I mean the system intentionally. Of course that is. I mean. How many people do you come? Okay, you come. You come to me. I hire you as a coach. Jeff, I need you. Cool, cool. There's so much I charge awesome. Can you meet me halfway and do it for a bag of biscuits and and a ham and cheese croissant? Yeah, I'd love to. Awesome, to Awesome. Love that for me. Cool, let's party. You come in. You come in and you say what are you doing? And I tell you what I'm doing. But none of that in the. I didn't. I didn't create the system. I don't have the loop, the loop's not running.

Alan Lazaros:

You were living completely unintentionally.

Kevin Palmieri:

Yeah, You're coming in in the middle of the loop, not the beginning. The loop was not designed from the beginning. You're coming in the middle.

Alan Lazaros:

Okay, the science of achievement is predicated on an external goal, so in group coaching we just got off group coaching.

Alan Lazaros:

An hour ago, we set top three podcast goals. It's called the Next Level Podcast Accelerator. If you're a podcaster, reach out. We can get you in group 19, which is Q3. And we'll buy an aura ring. I'm kidding, all right, no, but seriously. We top three podcast goals and then we create habits underneath those goals, which are the inputs. The inputs are behavior, always. One of the things that's been really frustrating for me is watching people complain about not getting results they want, while consciously doing behaviors that are nothing correlated with the goal.

Alan Lazaros:

You don't get it I used to say this to you all the time. I used to say you can't want a level 10 result and not have a level 10 standard, or do level 10 behaviors or have level 10 consistency, and you're like no alan, of course you can want it, you just can't expect it. So if you are out there watching or listening and you want to be more successful, you have to reverse engineer. There is no other way, otherwise you are winging it. You have to reverse engineer it. You can't, like I used to say this I don't know if it'll land. You can't say, hey, my name's kevin palmieri, I'm gonna start a company and I'm gonna build iphones and then go like golfing, those two are not correlated whatsoever. You can't say, hey, I want to build tvs, and then you just start mowing lawns like do you know what?

Kevin Palmieri:

I mean, I think yeah, but in your mind it's 100, zero versus. I think it could be a percentage you're. You are all or nothing. In the best way, not in a bad way in the best way, you're all or nothing and you dial and your all is not 10 out of 10, it's 13 out of 10. You dial it right, the f up. But I don't think that's the way other people need to be necessarily no, but if they, it depends on the size of their goal yes, I'm assuming it's not, if you want to win an olympic gold medal, you have to be dialed up at level 100.

Kevin Palmieri:

You can't stumble upon that.

Alan Lazaros:

You can't, no, you can't, no, no as a matter of fact, you might design your entire world around it and still not come close. It's fair.

Kevin Palmieri:

That's the hard truth of it. It's fair, it's fair.

Alan Lazaros:

Well, I think that's why this is. But if you want to buy a home and start a family and do you know your thing, you can probably get you. You can't. Carefree wandering sounds fun and it's very romanticized, but it's not intelligent I agree.

Kevin Palmieri:

I agree, I think, because this is the thought, this is what I was thinking. What got you here won't get you there. Well, habit tracking, habit tracking got me here, will it get me there? Yes, not the same exact habits though the whole time.

Alan Lazaros:

Yeah, but, yes, not the same exact habits the whole time, yeah, but sometimes it is the same habits. I know, but I so that's my question is how do you know what to keep and what not to keep? And a lot of this is running in math in my head.

Alan Lazaros:

So Amelia always asks me like well, how do you know what you should and shouldn't be doing? And she's like I want to know the equation and my brain is like I can't. I don't know. I just know NLU listener, what is happening. I just wanted to jump in here and let you know. If you want to get to the next level faster, we have a free virtual monthly meetup at the first Thursday of every month. You can connect with like-minded people and become a bigger part of this amazing global community. The link to register will be in the show notes. If Kev came to me and said hey, I have these goals for 2025, I would just tell you exactly what to do and then, if you did it, you'd get the goal.

Kevin Palmieri:

Or I'd say your goal's too high.

Alan Lazaros:

You can't do it in that amount of time, right?

Kevin Palmieri:

I know, I know.

Alan Lazaros:

As arrogant as that comes off, my brain calculates. It's all a math equation. I think that's why I'm so disliked and misunderstood is because it's all calculated. It's a calculation. It's just like I asked a client earlier and I'm sorry if I keep interrupting you, but I asked a client earlier. I said do you know how a self-driving car works? And she said Alan, no. And I said it's taking in data. So when a bird flies across the camera, it's calculating the probability that it's a bird instead of a bear and then it's making a decision based on that. It's all based on probabilities. Like in poker, you don't go all in when you have twos unless you decide to bluff.

Alan Lazaros:

Life is a giant game of probabilities. So what's the probability that people don't hate me the way I'm talking right now? Very low. Like, most people are going to dislike this and I know that. Unfortunately, however, the probability of you succeeding without hearing this is also very low. Like To me, achievement is not that difficult.

Alan Lazaros:

It's relationships that don't make any sense Because emotions get. They don't make any sense. It's like I have a client I'm thinking of. She said emotionally I feel like I'm only a two out of 10. But intellectually I know I'm an eight out of 10. And it's like well, we have to bridge those Like which one's the truth, which one's the objective truth? She, she's like well, the definitely the eight. I said okay, if there's a hundred random people in a room, how many are you, how many of them do you think find you as the top five most attractive girl in the room? A hundred random girls? Okay, not on Instagram, not like, not a subset of a subset of a subset of supermodels, I'm talking like random human beings across the globe. She said, oh, probably top three. I said Well, then that means you're a 9.7. In real life, like, that's your the objective truth, that's the statistical reality. But if you walk around acting like a two, you're not going to have confidence.

Kevin Palmieri:

Well, there's no math associated with feelings. That's the issue. Feelings are highly illogical. I mean, that's what makes them feelings, but emotions don't. Emotions do not work off of math. I've been saying that to you, for I don't. I don't care that the chance of me being in a plane crash is 0.000. I'm on the plane and there's turbulence. I don't care that the chance of me being in a plane crash is .000. I'm on the plane and there's turbulence. I don't care what the percentage is.

Alan Lazaros:

But that does help. It has to help.

Kevin Palmieri:

Not, no, no, not really no, not as much as you think.

Alan Lazaros:

One thing I will share and the part of the brain. If you study the neuroscience of this, the part of the brain, so study the neuroscience of this, the part of the brain. So emilia says one of my biggest concerns in the world is I always want to be a math teacher and I think that I'm trying not to come off like a fucking asshole right now and I'm not. I just it is a little bit alarming to me how few people understand mathematics. And of course, that's the case because I love math and I always have. I've been a big math and science guy my whole life. Right, math and science is the only reason why we're able to build buildings and we're able to actually have planes and why we have phones and why we have StreamYard and why have computers and why, why you and I can do this right now. Like. It's math, it's not emotions. Math and science is what builds the internet and phones and and roads and buildings, like, like. Like Emilia says, the reason people don't understand math as well as they could. Like, think about the reading literacy in the world compared to the mathematical literacy. Dude, not close. That's concerning. Let me explain why, instead of me coming off like an asshole. If you don't understand mathematics, it's going to be very hard to be wealthy. If I were to take the people who say I love math and show you how much money they have compared to the people who say I hate math, it would be alarming to everyone, because numbers is money, money is numbers, and the people who understand science and mathematics are better at fitness, they're better at finance, they're better at business. They're statistically speaking. They're not better at relationships, and it's because they don't. They don't have emotional intelligence.

Alan Lazaros:

So there's four quotients there's IQ, there's EQ, there's SQ and there's AQ. All right, iq is intellectual quotient. That's one that I feel I'm heavier on and that's why a lot of people have a hard time with me. I'm very head heavy, mostly head. Eq is the heart. That's emotional maturity, emotional rationality, emotional adaptability, trauma, feelings, crying, understanding relationships, okay. The other one is social quotient. This one I have a really hard time with. This is understanding other people. You have a very high SQ. You had a higher SQ than me, for sure. I had a higher IQ, you had a higher SQ, okay, and we both worked on EQ. The fourth one we both have very high and again, I'm not saying this to brag about us. I'm saying this to give this to the listeners.

Alan Lazaros:

It's adversity quotient. How well do you bounce back from adversity? So what they've found statistically is the people who have the highest IQ, eq, sq and AQ. They are the ones who succeed the most, and the reason why is because they're good with people, social quotient. They are good with their own emotions and they can self-soothe. They are intelligent, so they make effective choices consistently and they, they can self-soothe. They are intelligent, so they make effective choices consistently and they can work smart and hard. And then they the adversity is like they can grind, they can fucking grind. No one, not everybody, can work 36 hours straight and not I know that I don't think it's good for most adversity quotient.

Alan Lazaros:

Yeah right, that's high adversity quotient. So all of these can be built. That's the good news. So if you're out there and you don't like math or science or whatever, like, that's okay. I'm not trying to shame anybody. What I am trying to say is it's more important than you think it's. It's so much like if you want to achieve your dreams and your goals, like for goal achievement, it is science. It is a science. It's a science. There's no, like you know, there's no emotions in it, except for networking your way to success. That is a thing. Building relationships with people can help you succeed, for sure. Social quotient is very important. Emotional quotient is very important for leading people and that kind of thing. But behind the scenes, when it comes to fitness goals and finance goals and being able to reverse engineer finish lines, figuring out what to do and what not to do and productivity and all that stuff like that, comes down to intellectual quotient. It's iq like. If you could see iq correlated with wealth, it would be very correlated ask a question.

Kevin Palmieri:

Well, we got to get out of here soon, shortly. This is my question do you think most people would rather be more successful outside of their home or inside of their home with relationships based on your, not based on you? More successful outside of their home or inside of their home with relationships Based on your?

Alan Lazaros:

Not based on you. I think everyone wants both and I think almost no one has both.

Kevin Palmieri:

What's number?

Alan Lazaros:

one. I have a really hard time doing both.

Kevin Palmieri:

I think that's why it's. I think that's why it's so hard to get it to land. Yeah, because almost and again I don't mean this in in a negative way almost nobody is really really good at even just one of them, never mind both of them. I know a lot of people that are emotionally driven, that are terrible at relationships. They're not good at relationships. They struggle to communicate, they struggle to be mature, they struggle to not take advantage of their partner or take them for granted or let their tempers flare For them. They have to learn both skills, yeah. So it's like well, what would you rather? Where do you start on that Personal development? I agree, I think that's something that that will get you that will never go out of style yeah, agreed.

Alan Lazaros:

That's the one thing that you have to take to every level.

Kevin Palmieri:

I think that's, that's the thing you have to take with you. But yeah, it's so hard to know because it's like, yeah, in an ideal world you'd have all IQ, eq, aq and whatever the other one was.

Alan Lazaros:

Social quotient. Social quotient, adversity quotient, intellectual quotient and emotional quotient. Most people know IQ and EQ. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Kevin Palmieri:

But that's four. So health, wealth and love. We talk about that all the time. That's three times as hard. Oh, it's more than three times as hard, it's way more, exponentially hard.

Alan Lazaros:

The math is yeah, if you're one in a hundred, one in a hundred, one in a hundred. So if you're top one percent, like that client, let's say she was top one percent in terms of um, health, wealth and love a random sample of people, she'd be one in a million. That's one in a million. So if you're out there watching or listening, do you want to be one in a million? Then you have to have one in a million eagerness to learn, one in a million humility, one in a million work ethic, one in a million access to like books, and you have to. One thing I'll share, very briefly, is wanting to have a great life without becoming a great person is not going to happen. It's you. It's most likely not going to happen. It can't unless you lie, steal cheat, Like there are some people out there that are absolute snakes, that are very successful, that are, that are shitty people and that that haven't had to work on themselves in order to lie, steal cheat, whatever. But if you actually want to do it in integrity and be fulfilled on the inside and be successful on the outside, you're going to have to. You can't be average, ordinary and mediocre and want extraordinary results. I guess you can want them, but you can't expect them and what I would rather have everyone out there do this is Next Level University. We tell the truth here. If you want extraordinary goals and extraordinary home and extraordinary relationship and extraordinary body and extraordinary business and extraordinary quality of life, you're going to have to become an extraordinary person and that's going to require extraordinary effort and that's going to require extraordinary eagerness to learn. I have clients that bring notebooks three times a week to me and I'm just teaching them. I was on with a client earlier, showed it to my man, Cole. He works for a company. I pulled up a map of Canada and I unpacked the whole company, Like all the different things, how it all works, the all the everything. I just taught him the whole chess game and I'm not trying to come off arrogant. I just and I said to him brother, you need to learn. All this Like this is, this is a learnable thing. And he's like dude, I love this, let's do more of this. It's you. If you didn't know any of this, you would basically just be a pawn in someone else's game, and I don't want anyone to be a pawn in anyone else's game. I want you guys to all be empowered Like listeners. You can learn how to live life on your own terms If you know how the world works and how you work and how the economy works and how the career works and how relationship works.

Alan Lazaros:

Like I, I am so blessed to be with Emilia Smith, but I had to earn that through 30 years. I didn't. I didn't have a really, really meaningful like. I didn't get my dream relationship until I was fucking 30 years old. I was failing for 29 years, almost 30 years. I met her when I was 29, almost 30. And I just kept learning and kept learning and kept learning and I kept going back to the drawing board and I kept talking to you and I kept saying, well, what am I doing wrong? Like what's not working? What do I have to get rid of? Okay, vulnerability, what's this about? Okay, Brene Brown, let me read all her books. I read all of her books. I don't love them, but I needed them. Maybe that's just a level of your eagerness. To learn is what you have to take with you forever and your own personal development. You have to take with you forever. Everything else, you can kind of decide for yourself whether you have to bring it or let go of it.

Kevin Palmieri:

We started another round of group coaching, the next level podcast accelerator, and the first several calls are focused on self personal, personal development and I said a couple of times. I said I know, I know we're all here for podcasting. Trust me, we have to start with a concrete foundation because, yeah, we could just jump right into podcast stuff, that stuff it might get you to a new level, but it's not going to get you where you want to get to. Yeah, the reason we are where we are and again, humbly, where we are where we are, podcaster to podcaster is not because I'm going to teach you some hack. That's not why. It's because we focused on ourselves for the vast majority and to this day we still focus on ourselves.

Alan Lazaros:

Such an unsung hero because I love that you you can't sell it. Shared that I love that you shared that.

Kevin Palmieri:

I appreciate it. You can't sell it. That's why you can't sell it. I want, when people leave, group coaching. I want them to not need us. I would love that. I don't. I don't want you to need us, I want you to be empowered. That's the goal, so it's. You can't sell somebody else going on their own journey by themselves. You can't really sell that Because it's not my product, it's not my service, it's not my app, whatever it is.

Kevin Palmieri:

I just think, and because if you want results quick, the way to get results quickly is not to work on yourself. It's to go do some hack or some fucking juice cleanse or whatever the hell it is. You want quote, unquote results. There's a bunch of people out there doing water fasts. They're like oh, look at how much weight I lost because I just did a water fast. That's what happens when you don't eat. Yes, that's not. Yeah, you're going to get results for four days not eating. That doesn't. You're also going to lose all your muscle. Yeah, it doesn't. It's not what you think it is. If you went and studied, maybe you download some sort of kinesiology, biology, a bunch of different books and spend a week, two weeks, three weeks going through that you'll have more information, but it's still going to take time before.

Kevin Palmieri:

I think it's Tactics and hacks seem to what's the word? Collapse time, but it's kind of like a. It's like a microwave. It's like, yeah, you can throw it in there, hit a couple buttons, it'll get the job done. But you ever had a really good meal out of a microwave? I haven't Nice. The best meals I've ever had are coming out of ovens or whatever, whatever in this analogy, I don't fucking know. But I think it's that you'll get results, but it's not going to it's. It's not going to jump you one and then give you the lessons and the understanding you need to see the next level. That's not the way it works.

Alan Lazaros:

Last piece. I know we've got to jump the consciousness. This started out as the hyperconscious podcast.

Alan Lazaros:

I'm always going to keep saying that that's right, because the reason why I loved your podcast so much, kevin, and why I wanted to come on board is because hyperconscious means acutely aware. Consciousness is the unsung hero, like the reason we have been able to achieve a lot of our dreams is because we learned how to do it and then we did it and then every time it worked, we figured out why it worked, and every time it didn't work, we figured out why it didn't work, and time it didn't work, we figured out why it didn't work. And we're just iterating on that forever. In group coaching I said the learning loop is study it, write it down, practice it and teach it. And Amelia, in the past, a lot of the things we taught at Next Level Live, she taught me and I gave her a shout out and of all ventures, like I'll shout her out forever, they, they're amazing. The the reason why I said that, though she teaches me things all the time and I teach her stuff all the time, we I actually sent her the quotients intellectual quote because I learned that from a podcaster not two days ago and I was like, can you please send me everything? She damned me all of that and then I forwarded it to emily. I said I want to have a conversation with you about this. I'm excited about this. She said hell yeah, and now I'm teaching it.

Alan Lazaros:

One of the reasons I teach it so quickly is because it ingrains it more. It's study, write, practice, teach, study, write, practice, teach, study, write, practice, teach. And each time you study it it goes a little deeper. You write it down, it goes a little deeper and I recommend writing, not typing and then you practice it in your own life. Now you get experience. Now you reflect on that experience, it goes a little deeper. Then you teach it. Now you really start to know it. One of the benefits of the Hyperconscious podcast and now Next Level University is we get to teach these things that we learn, which makes us learn them even better. And for anyone out there watching or listening, what got you here won't get you there.

Alan Lazaros:

Einstein has a great quote where he says two things. Number one if you judge a fish on how well it climbs a tree, it's going to spend the rest of its life thinking it sucks. So don't judge yourself based on the wrong things. But number two was you cannot solve a problem with the same level of thinking that created it. The very first personal development book I ever bought was called how Successful People Think. Thinking is the one thing that's more important than anything else. That's what human beings and dolphins and only certain mammals, can do. My cat can think, maybe a couple moves ahead. She had me. I couldn't get her to bed the other night. Emilia went to bed uh early and I couldn't get her to go into her crate for the life of me. I had to play with her for fucking 45 minutes um together that's something right there, the ultimate cat dad would not complain about.

Kevin Palmieri:

So that's a point for kevin.

Alan Lazaros:

Thank you I've been working hard, man. I was up way too late, but no, treat doesn't matter, she's not listening to me, she she said mom's not here. I'm not doing it, but the point I'm making is my cat can think one, two, three, maybe four or five moves ahead and she looks at the birds and she's trying to get all this stuff. Human beings can think 20, 30, 40, 50 moves ahead. You can think into the 50s, you can think into the future and go oh, I'm screwed if I don't X, y, z, and that's a skill that you have to develop. But ultimately, the Sherlock Holmes thing, the chess player, whatever metaphor you want to insert, I said this in group coaching. I hope that everything you do is by design, like your future. You can design it now and then you can start working on it. Now. You and I started designing this future.

Alan Lazaros:

There's an episode of kev, episode seven, talking about all of the things that he has right now. And you started, you and I started to go to work on how to make that happen. And, yeah, some of it was worse than we thought. Some of it was better than we thought. A lot more of it worse than better. I was gonna say most, yeah, but and it Some of it was better than we thought.

Alan Lazaros:

A lot more of it worse than better. I was going to say most yeah, and it's taken a lot of effort and we've learned a lot, we've grown a lot, but ultimately we made it happen and we are still working on our vision. Now and today, you and I are working behind the scenes on how to create the future by design Future by design, and everyone can do that to some extent. Not everyone's going to be a grand master chess player, but anyone can play chess and anyone can get better at chess, and I do think that success is very much a lot like that.

Kevin Palmieri:

Well, I think that's what it means to strive and never arrive. Cool, maybe we're the most quote-unquote successful and fulfilled we've ever been. Awesome. That doesn't mean we're done. Same thing for you. Same thing for you. Same thing for you. It was good. I enjoyed this episode.

Alan Lazaros:

You've achieved a lot of your dreams. I have too. I'm very grateful there's a lot to go. Yeah, there's a lot to go and I think who we've had to become to achieve those dreams is someone hopefully we can be proud of, and I think, ultimately, that's what everybody wants. So, yeah, this was good. I appreciate. You know, this is a good conversation, man. I think that obviously, I talked a lot more than you did on this.

Kevin Palmieri:

It's okay, it's okay.

Alan Lazaros:

But I appreciate you holding space because, yeah, I hope the world, if everyone out there watching or listening, if you make your future brighter, everyone else's future gets brighter too. For sure, assuming you're a heart-driven, wonderful person who's not trying to steal, and well, I wouldn't say that that's not a bright future.

Kevin Palmieri:

That's, if you're lying and stealing, it's stealing and cheating, it's not bright yeah exactly. It's successful, but there's a difference.

Alan Lazaros:

That's not real yeah, agreed, and your brighter future is so inspiring and your kids will be inspired, and your grandkids will be inspired, and your kids will be inspired, and your grandkids will be inspired, and your friends will be inspired, and I mean, that's what the world needs right now, for sure.

Kevin Palmieri:

So, anyways, yeah all right if you're looking to be inspired and you're looking for a community to help you do so. We have a private facebook group called next level nation. It's obviously free. I don't know, do people charge for facebook groups? I don't know if that's even a thing you could do. It's private so you can feel safe in expressing yourself and sharing your stuff and answering questions. You don't have to worry about family members or judgy people looking over your shoulder. We post in there every day. Shout out to Amy and the team. They're in there every day and it's just a good place for personal development. So we'll have the link in the show notes for that below.

Alan Lazaros:

If you want more personal development books in your life, we have a book club every Saturday, 12.30 pm, eastern Standard Time, totally free. We have a monthly meetup every month. The links will be in the show notes to register for those, totally free. And if you do want to start a brand and a business and start generating revenue, turning your passion into purpose for a profit, and you do want to reverse engineer, finish lines with me dreams, goals, priorities, metrics, habits, skills and identity. It might sound terrible, but I promise you your future will be bigger and brighter and I am very, very excited to help you out. So the first one's free Link will be in the show notes Do it, do it, do it, do it.

Kevin Palmieri:

As always, we love you, we appreciate you. Grateful, we love you, we appreciate you, grateful for each and every one of you. And at NLU, we don't have fans, we have family. We will talk to you all tomorrow. We'll talk to you soon. Thanks for joining us for another episode of Next Level University. We love connecting with the Next Level family.

Alan Lazaros:

We mean it when we say family. If you ever need anything, please reach out to us directly. Everything you need to get a hold of us is in the show notes.

Kevin Palmieri:

Thank you again and we will talk to you tomorrow.

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Alan Lazaros

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Kevin Palmieri

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