Next Level University

Why Do We Ignore Red Flags? (2042)

Kevin Palmieri and Alan Lazaros

Have you ever ignored a red flag because everything else felt so right? In today’s honest and eye-opening episode, Kevin and Alan unpack why we tend to overlook warning signs—especially when the “green flags” are shining bright. From painting red flags green to mistaking excitement for alignment, they share personal stories, tough lessons, and the power of knowing your core values. Whether you’re navigating love, friendships, or business, this conversation will help you stop settling and start choosing better.

Learn more about:
Next Level Dreamliner - https://a.co/d/9fPpxEt
Next Level Book Club - https://www.nextleveluniverse.com/next-level-book-club/

_____________________

NLU is not just a podcast; it’s a gateway to a wealth of resources designed to help you achieve your goals and dreams. From our Next Level Dreamliner to our Group Coaching, we offer a variety of tools and communities to support your personal development journey.

For more information, please check out our website at the link below. 👇

Website 💻  http://www.nextleveluniverse.com

_______________________

We love connecting with you guys! Reach out on Instagram, Facebook, or via email. We’re here to support you in your personal and professional development journey.

Instagram 📷
Kevin: https://www.instagram.com/neverquitkid/
Alan: https://www.instagram.com/alazaros88/

Facebook ✍
Alan: https://www.facebook.com/alan.lazaros
Kevin: https://www.facebook.com/kevin.palmieri.90/

Email 💬
Kevin@nextleveluniverse.com
Alan@nextleveluniverse.com

LinkedIn ✍
Kevin: https://www.linkedin.com/in/kevin-palmieri-5b7736160/
Alan: https://www.linkedin.com/in/alanlazarosllc/

_______________________

Show notes:
(2:04) Settling due to loneliness
(3:07) Belief and self-worth issues
(4:15) Painting red flags green
(5:21) Compatibility Vs. Chemistry
(11:00) Trauma bonding and identity
(14:04) Finding your “absolutely people”
(16:59) At NLU, your success matters. Join our Monthly Meet-up—first Thursdays at 5 PM! https://www.nextleveluniverse.com/monthly-meetups/
(18:19) Rock bottom as a wake-up call
(25:30) Hoping someone will save you
(28:37) Why “agree to disagree” doesn’t work
(30:06) Drinking to force compatibility
(31:32) Outro

Send a text to Kevin and Alan!

Kevin Palmieri:

What if I told you that a line of very bright waving green flags for most of us is enough for us to overlook some major red flags? I am as guilty as charged in this, but hopefully we can talk about why it's a bad idea to do that.

Alan Lazaros:

One of the most detrimental pitfalls to fall into when trying to achieve your own unique version of success, goals, dreams, is wishful thinking. Sometimes we want to believe in fairy tales, sometimes we want to believe things are better than they really are or different than they really are, and sometimes we have to look at the hard reality to make sure we can make good choices.

Kevin Palmieri:

Welcome to Next Level University. I'm your host, Kevin Palmieri, and I'm your co-host, Alan Lazarus. At NLU, we believe in a heart-driven but no BS approach to holistic self-improvement for dream chasers.

Alan Lazaros:

Our goal with every episode is to help you level up your life love health and wealth.

Kevin Palmieri:

We bring you a new episode every single day, on topics like confidence, self-belief, self-worth, self-awareness, relationships, boundaries, consistency, habits and defining your own unique version of success.

Alan Lazaros:

Self-improvement in your pocket, every day, from anywhere, completely free.

Kevin Palmieri:

Welcome to Next Level University, next Level Nation today for episode number 2042. Why do we ignore red flags? I have made my fair share of mistakes when it comes to relationships and many times I have ignored red flags. And here's the reason why. I think this is the reason that happens Because the green flags behind the red flags were so bright, they were so big, they were so shiny, we were drawn to them so much. Were they real? Yeah, yeah.

Alan Lazaros:

Were they a mirage.

Kevin Palmieri:

Well, here's a good example. Well, here's a good example. Here's a good example. If you're lonely right now you're lonely. You're looking for a little physical touch, that that flag is green it's as green as green gets so you might be willing to look through or around, or knock down some red flags in order to get there. I've been there. I've been there in the past, for sure, when I was very, very single and very, very lonely, I lowered my standards and I was willing to paint red flags green because I wanted to be with someone.

Kevin Palmieri:

Would have rather been been in a misaligned relationship than no relationship at all. Same, and I think that's why we ignore them. We ignore them. Another reason I think we ignore them because we don't think we can actually get something that has more green flags than red flags, and I think it goes back to the same conversation we've been having for eight freaking years self Self-belief.

Kevin Palmieri:

If you do not believe that you can do better than you currently are, or you don't believe that you are ever going to get an opportunity as good as the one that's presented to you, of course you're going to choose it, even if there's red flags, because in your mind, okay, there might be eight red flags and two green flags. I don't think I I'm gonna get a better ratio than that. I can't imagine getting seven reds and three greens. So I mean it's better than than nine and one or ten and zero. So let me just settle for this. And I think when people say don't settle, that's really what they they mean is more than yes. Obviously you want a relationship that's gonna that's gonna be amazing and it's gonna be fulfilling your partner's amazing and all that. Yes, a thousand percent. I think that's what we aspire to, of course, but I think sometimes it's not that cut and dry. It's more about seeing the red flags and not settling for them.

Alan Lazaros:

Do you have a story of a red flag that you?

Kevin Palmieri:

tried to paint green.

Alan Lazaros:

You, son of a bitch, you, son of a bitch, that you tried to paint green. You, son of a bitch, you, son of a bitch, that you tried to paint green. Of course, mr Kevin Palmieri in the past saw a red flag and he said, nope, paint it green, it's green, look, it's green.

Kevin Palmieri:

Yeah. Do you have an example.

Alan Lazaros:

Yeah, I did this as well, for sure.

Kevin Palmieri:

So I also have one if, if that is, I mean, the. The best example of this is we kind of talked about this on a podcast recently. I met someone on a dating app and very quickly I realized, okay, this person is an extreme extrovert. They love being the center of attention. Everybody notices when they walk into a room, like they're're not loud but outspoken, the opposite of everything that I am and I immediately had red flags of I don't think I'm going to do well in this type of relationship. But I can do it. I could do it. It's it's that conversation that we've had before of what's the difference between evolving and growing and changing yourself entirely, or what's the difference between evolving and growing and changing yourself entirely, or what's the difference between evolving and growing and convincing yourself this is the direction you're supposed to evolve and grow in. So was it maybe the the stereotypical red flags?

Alan Lazaros:

no, but what was the red flag exactly?

Kevin Palmieri:

just you you guys are so different I knew we were not compatible. We were compatible in some ways, like we both valued fitness and, but I mean outside of that, what else?

Alan Lazaros:

Other than fitness. We both valued fitness and.

Kevin Palmieri:

We both liked leather-bound books. No, I mean we, I don't know. I think we had a. No, I won't say we had a lot in common. We had enough in common to get by. It just was not as much as we needed. I convinced myself. I convinced myself that I was going to be that type of person that was going to go to Boston and go bowling and then go out to the bars Like. That's not who I am.

Alan Lazaros:

Real quick. What else did you have in common up?

Kevin Palmieri:

in the I mean, that's probably it. Physical attraction, yeah, physical attraction, similar sex drives, I would say those are, but outside of that there wasn't much. There wasn't much Delusion. We were both delusional in our own separate ways, and I think that's this is the other thing delusional in our own separate ways, and I think that's this is the other thing. When both people see red flags, oftentimes neither people actually sees a red flag, they're just like well, I'll figure it out, I'm figuring out, I'm green together pretty much, yeah, pretty much what was that like real quick?

Alan Lazaros:

so did you guys have conversations about that? And you said you, I, hmm. So we did a Relationship Talks event yesterday, emilia and I, and it was about how to create more quality time. Have you ever seen, kev the movie the Wedding Planner J-Lo?

Kevin Palmieri:

and Matthew McConaughey. Matthew McConaughey no, never seen it.

Alan Lazaros:

Knows the director, knows the actors and actresses? Nope, no, he hasn't.

Kevin Palmieri:

Nope, never seen it. He knows the director, knows the actors and actresses. Nope, no, he hasn't. Nope, never seen him. Okay, the only movie I've ever seen with J-Lo is. Anaconda, I actually like that film.

Alan Lazaros:

It's a pretty good movie all things considered. Not bad, all things considered, yeah.

Kevin Palmieri:

It was a guilty pleasure for me. I remember back in the day when I would stay home from school Anaconda would be on. I was, anaconda would be on. I was like this is gonna be a great day 100, I would, I had the infomercials were fucking wild back then.

Kevin Palmieri:

I mean you could get anything and nothing worked. There was this bag that you put in. You just put breaded chicken in and in the microwave. It came out crispy. It didn't, it came out terrible. But I tried to make a little crispy microwave chicken and watch anaconda.

Kevin Palmieri:

The biggest detriment to staying home from school is you end up buying dumb shit on infomercial well, first of all, I was like eight years old, or however old, so I wasn't buying anything because I didn't have access to a major credit card, but my grandmother bought it shout out to memes.

Alan Lazaros:

But did you know that if you call right now, yeah, it gets and it just rolls that on repeat forever, right now, and then a week later. It's right now, though, and, by the way, we'll throw in our bonus of the, the thing that makes eggs out of thin air. Okay, anaconda? What was I talking about?

Alan Lazaros:

j-lo wedding planner got it, thank you. Okay. So in said film I will articulate for those of you who haven't seen it essentially, matthew McConaughey's character is in a relationship with red flags where they have totally drifted apart. They met in college, they've drifted apart and they've been on autopilot and they're not very happy, but they're not unhappy enough to do anything about it.

Alan Lazaros:

Boom, he meets J-Lo and she is a wedding planner and she ends up being the wedding planner of his wife's. They're getting married. So he saves her off the street she's about to get hit by a dumpster, of course, okay, saves her, of course, of course. And he's a doctor. And they go.

Alan Lazaros:

Her friend essentially hooks them up to go to the movies together and then she says, hey, I got to go, I'm sorry, my wife's cousin's aunt's nephew has something going on. He's like, wow, I really, I really hope she's going to be okay, her wife's cousin's aunt's nephew when really it was obviously just a setup, they end up spending this evening together out in the park. They danced in the rain, it was this whole thing and then she ends up planning this wedding, kind of semi falling in love with this guy, so excited about it, and then she ends up planning the wedding. Okay, the point of why we use that in the relationship talks event is because they end up spending all this quality time together building towards this wedding and they end up kind of falling in love and the other couple at the end they end up having a conversation. Spoiler alert this was in 2001, so I'm sure we're good and essentially matt mcconaughey's character says why do you want to marry me? And she's like in her wedding dress are you?

Alan Lazaros:

dumping me on our wedding day. And he says the reasons we originally got together, they don't hold up anymore. We have nothing in common. And he's like, listen, I'll go up there and do it right now if that's what you want to do. But why do you really want to do this? And eventually she cries and says no, I don't know how we let it get this far. And they part as peers who realize you know what? We almost just made a huge mistake. I'm so glad, and they had been painting red flags green for years at that point. So what was my point of that? What were you talking?

Kevin Palmieri:

about. Before I mentioned the wedding plan, all I could think about Matthew McConaughey was a doctor in that. Imagine going to the doctor and the guy sitting across from you and be like how many drinks do you have on the average week? Like three. And he just looks at you and goes all right, all right, all right and writes that down. I can only imagine how weird that would be. I was talking about how I thought that I was going to be somebody else.

Alan Lazaros:

Oh, nothing in common? Yeah, exactly. So in the event, emilia and I had a moment. One of the slides popped up what does love mean to you? We're going to do an episode on it tomorrow. But ultimately, if you're not checking in with these red flags and noticing them and then talking about them, because they didn't talk at all, they never did check-ins, they never talked about themselves. They evolved and grew apart without reconnecting on why. They traveled a lot both of them, and I think that that's a lot of times what happens. So did you and your ex sit down ever and talk about how little you had in common?

Kevin Palmieri:

No, nope, unnecessary, unnecessary, not necessary to do? I think we were. We were both trauma bonded. We had both gotten out of challenging relationships and it was easy. Like us, being together was easy. It wasn't hard. There was like no arguments. It was easy.

Alan Lazaros:

But it was in the beginning level.

Kevin Palmieri:

No, it wasn't. It wasn't that, it just we were just different. Like we didn't, I didn't want to. This was the type of person that has like a lot of friends all over the place, like all over the city. So they lived in boston, so I would drive out to boston to see them and it was like, oh, let's go here, let's go here. I got a bunch of friends here. I know people here, we can get in here. It's like that's not who I am. I'm not that type of person. I don't. I don't want to be jumping around the city in boston. I don't want to walk around boston. I don't want to go get pizza at midnight, walking 20 minutes to get there. Like that's not what I want to do. I'm not that type of person.

Kevin Palmieri:

I like slow life yeah but I, there's the excitement of, well, this is new, so what's the difference between new and misaligned? I don't know. I I think that's a conversation we all have to have, but it wasn't, it wasn't surface, it wasn't that like we had deep talks, it wasn't. It wasn't that, it was just I wasn't super developed. I didn't understand, I didn't know. How do you know what you want in a relationship if you don't know who you are? Yet I don't know if you can yeah so I think it was that.

Alan Lazaros:

Well, I'll give mine as well, and I obviously anyone watching or listening. Health, wealth and love. We're trying to help everybody in each of those, and love is the one that has always been the hardest for me, and I was in a relationship in the past where I had red flags that I painted green for sure. One of them was they loved fun, unique experiences to such a drastic extent? They didn't really. This is something that's come up for me recently. Yeah, I'll share it here. I always have to think to myself is this going to be the right time, the right place? Yes, I think everyone in life and I said this to the kids at the speech I did recently, the entrepreneurial panel I said everyone, you owe it to yourself to figure out who your absolutely people are and your absolutely not people are. And I'll connect this back to green flags Red flags.

Alan Lazaros:

I was on a podcast earlier and it was about business partnerships and she kept asking me how did you know you and Kevin would work and all this kind of stuff? And I now have a different answer than I would have had in the past. I figured out who my absolutely people are and who my absolutely not people are. Kevin happens to be one of my absolutely people. Let me explain why. And Emilia, same deal. This past relationship definitely not Okay, and this is just mine. I want everyone thinking of theirs.

Alan Lazaros:

My absolutely people are growth mindset, high humility and extremely high work ethic. Growth mindset, high humility and extremely high work ethic. Kevin has all three of those. You didn't used to have growth mindset and maybe in some ways that's why we weren't friends earlier. Maybe when you changed from fixed mindset to growth mindset, we reconnected and that was really kind of the start of our and Emilia has those three in spades. So my absolutely people high growth mindset, high humility, super high work ethic my absolutely not people. Anyone who does not have goals, who does not have high humility and who does not have high work ethic does not have high humility and who does not have high work ethic. I'm going to say this and for anyone out there who I'm not trying to offend anyone, I'm just trying to be me If you are lazy, you and I will never get along, especially if we work closely together.

Alan Lazaros:

In my honest opinion, I have an ex who is pretty lazy. She doesn't like working, she doesn't like to put in hard work, she's not wired in a way where, yeah, I would say her work ethic is not good and it's not socially acceptable to say that. And there's certain things about this person that I do adore. But that was never gonna work. Can you imagine being in a business partnership with me and being lazy? No, that okay. Intimate relationship same deal. Emilia's work ethic is way higher than Kevin's. That's why we work. I had this moment recently of oh, that was never gonna work. I couldn't possibly be with someone who has a low work ethic. How the hell could I ever make that work? That is like a 10 out of 10 core value for Alan Lazarus is insane work ethic the hardest worker in the room, in every room, 24-7, 365.

Alan Lazaros:

There will never be a room I go into. I may not be the strongest or the smartest. I may not be. I think in some cases I can be the smartest, but I'm definitely not the strongest. You will never outwork me. No human being will ever outwork Alan Lazarus NLU.

Alan Lazaros:

Listener, what is happening? I just wanted to jump in here and let you know if you want to get to the next level faster. We have a free virtual monthly meetup at the first Thursday of every month. You can connect with like-minded people and become a bigger part of this amazing global community. The link to register will be in the show notes and the only person that I've seen who has that same intense, unrelenting, ridiculous, over the fucking top work ethic is Emilia Smith. I'm working until nine o'clock at night tonight. I'm going to have to pull her out of the office. Okay, and that's why we work. It is that simple. So, to bring this back to the listeners, get off my high horse. What is your number one core value and the red flag that you painted green? There's got to be a core value in there that you were missing and for her, a core value was having a huge social life. Yeah right, Kev Dude, you were never going to have a hop in social life. No, You're a fucking recluse. I don't want one, Exactly.

Alan Lazaros:

And that's why that was never going to work, and so it's nothing against her and it's nothing against my ex either. There's no way that was going to work, and I think that we kid ourselves and I think that that can really lead to a really challenging life.

Kevin Palmieri:

Well, this is how you know. I've mentioned this before on the podcast. So this was the. This was my rock bottom. This was like the fucking worst. I had just done a bodybuilding show. So my I was. I had an eating disorder. I was afraid of my own shadow. It was terrible. We have a conversation one day and she says look, I'm leaving, I have goals that I want to chase. I mean, she had way bigger goals and way bigger aspirations than I did. For sure it wasn't close.

Alan Lazaros:

Did she have more?

Kevin Palmieri:

work ethic than you. No, no, she did, she worked really hard, she worked really hard worked more than you, though. I mean at the time I was. I was not more than me now, but at the time I was fairly directionless, so it wasn't. I worked hard at work.

Alan Lazaros:

You always worked hard at work, yeah.

Alan Lazaros:

Yeah, but it was different because I had somebody work ethic real quick because I think this is and again, I know I don't want to make it about us, but that's one thing that I on on that episode earlier with the podcast, where they kept asking me about my business partner, like how do you choose the right partner? What core values over everything? Complimentary skill sets Dude, I had someone I worked closely with before you and I remember after I started working with you, I couldn't work with that person anymore because your work ethic was so much higher than theirs. Think about, okay, that I liked that person a lot If they were listening. Okay, that I like that person a lot if they were listening. Right now, like that person, I'm a, I'm a fan. No way that could have worked.

Kevin Palmieri:

His work ethic is not nearly well, I think some things are, some things are just a a result of a circumstance and location. It's like oh yeah, I'm thinking about starting a business. I don't know. I have this friend who says they're really good at something. Like maybe I'll just start the business with them. Same thing with relationships, right? It's like that's why online dating is such a weird thing, because it opens up the opportunity for you to see people that are outside of the 10 mile radius work ethic?

Alan Lazaros:

no, I do. I think I have a high work ethic.

Kevin Palmieri:

Okay, I didn't back then, though I, I will outwork most people, that's I will.

Alan Lazaros:

Didn't you feel that way back then too? That was like your, not it?

Kevin Palmieri:

wasn't the same. I mean, yeah, that was, that was my advantage, but it wasn't the same. It was I would work hard at things where there would be like I had to. I had to work hard at work. I wanted to make good money and I wanted to be looked at positively from my bosses, so it wasn't like I didn't want to work hard. There was a lot of people at my company that worked way harder than I did. For sure, my attitude was not hard work. My attitude was efficiency. Let's get it done. But we don't have to. We don't have to kill ourselves to get it done here like, come on, plenty of time. It was never. I was never that guy who the reason I liked and what about in the gym?

Alan Lazaros:

you didn't have anyone.

Kevin Palmieri:

Well, that was different, for that yeah, but the gym for me, I don't consider that. I don't consider that the same, because I think a lot of people have way more work ethic in the gym than they do anywhere else. How many people you ever met someone in shape who is like really in shape, but outside of that they're just like, eh, you know, kind of fuck everything else right. The gym's different. It's a very small arena where you kind of, if you're going to get to a certain level in fitness, you're going to have to have a higher work ethic than other people.

Kevin Palmieri:

One of the reasons you've heard me talk about Ray a bunch Ray actually came to one of our events back in the day. So Ray's a dude I worked with and one of the reasons I enjoyed working with him so much and I respected him and I liked him is because the days where I didn't want to work, he was always super positive, always Like. He was never negative Ever, ever, ever. And he was such a hard worker and I always really respected that about him. He was a harder worker than I was. He had a better attitude than I did. For sure, I didn't want to be there, but he always he'd bring up his speaker and we'd listen to music and we'd jam and we'd sing and it was like it was the best. It was the best.

Alan Lazaros:

So we should do an episode at some point about attitude and work ethic and for sure, yeah, that would be cool again another time, but this is my lesson.

Kevin Palmieri:

This is my lesson for this. So I'm riding the struggle bus, my partner at the time sits me down and says, hey, I'm leaving and you're kind of, you've been a shell of yourself. I don't feel like you can pour into my life. You can barely pour into your life. And she said and this was when it was like oh shit, I don't, how did we get here? She said I was gonna leave you last month, but I was afraid you might kill yourself. It's like jesus Jesus.

Kevin Palmieri:

And when she said that it wasn't in like a punishment negative way, it wasn't that. It wasn't like she was talking down to me. She was making me aware of where I was. I was like, okay, I didn't realize we were that far off. Here's how you know there are red flags, at least for me. I was glad it happened. I was glad it happened because I knew it was going to happen eventually. And it was like, well, just rip the bandaid off now and I don't have to worry about it anymore. And that was, that was my wake up call of okay, this was a really, this was really really red flags. And again, not in the stereotypical, this person's bad to me, even though now in retrospect, like there were some things, some behaviors, it was like that's kind of entitled, but at the time you don't see it right.

Alan Lazaros:

So that's why relationships are so freaking weird, you paint over those in green too, the entitlement moments.

Kevin Palmieri:

I don't think Can you give us an?

Alan Lazaros:

example. Again, Kevin and I are fearful of making this a bashing session. That's not what we want to do.

Kevin Palmieri:

Yeah, no one's perfect. I understand that our exes probably have plenty of green and red flags to share too. I have respect. I have respect, for I can say with Honesty I have respect for all of my exes, I have respect and I have love for all of my exes. I did some of my exes do me wrong? Yes, did I do some of my exes do me wrong? Yes, did I do some of my exes wrong? Yes, not in the same way, but for sure there was a time. So, oh man, how do I say it without like giving too much detail? Had a friend who had a partner who had lost a parent when she was young. Father passed away when she was young.

Kevin Palmieri:

My partner at the time was extremely negative towards this person because she had money and her my ex's vibe was like this person's a princess and she's never. She's faking it and she's fake and she's not real and she pretends to like people when she doesn't. It was all this stuff. And I remember having a conversation of like you can't say this to this person. Like you're talking to like the partner of one of my really good friends. Like this is going to blow up my fucking relationship with this person, but I didn't stop it, I didn't number one, I didn't know how to stop it. Like what, how the fuck am I supposed to stop this? And then, honestly, I kind of abandoned friendships. I was not a good, I was a shitty friend at that point Because I was so caught up in this.

Kevin Palmieri:

I was so caught up in the fact that this was going to solve all my problems. That's a red flag right there Checking time. If you get into a relationship because you think the person is going to save you, that is a red flag guaranteed right off the bat. And that's the reason I got into that relationship. I thought, oh yeah, this person is the type of person that I need to come out of my shell. Maybe to a degree, but if the turtle leaves the shell, the turtle dies. The turtle's got to be attached to the shell in some way, shape or form, right.

Alan Lazaros:

So can't hide in there forever, but still a turtle.

Kevin Palmieri:

You got to figure out what is a healthy amount, I think, for me. I was convinced that anything that wasn't what she was doing was a shell. When, in reality, what if there are certain parts of me that I just don't want to change? I don't want to be the guy that has a million friends. I don't, that's not what I aspire to, because I know I'm not capable of maintaining those friendships. I don't, I don't need that much attention. I'm weird with stuff like that. I don't, I don't really need that much attention.

Kevin Palmieri:

But so, yeah, that would be an example of the way that she had treated other people was very much like wait, I've never seen you act that way before. Now, what is this all about? But now, okay, now with new awareness, there was triggers. There was triggers based on certain things that had happened and that person was a reflection of the trigger and they didn't handle themselves well. So now I can see it with more clarity, but at the time it was a shit show. It was a shit show. I had no idea what to do at that point. It was terrible.

Alan Lazaros:

Yeah, the next level lesson for me would be I go back to this often and again Emilia and I have been coaching couples for four years now, consistently, and we do the Conscious Couples podcast. So I now am so much more exponentially aware than I was back then. I was back then the core values in conflict. Were this person really, really, really liked taking time off and really liked this is what I would say. They aren't a builder, they don't build, they're not building a career, they're very present, focused, they're very fun, unique experience focused, and they're not builders.

Alan Lazaros:

And for me, I don't like to do things that aren't building towards something bigger, better and brighter and I'm very future oriented and I think that's just. I mean, it was just never going to work and that's so very clear. So, in hindsight, so the red flags are usually goals in conflict, core values in conflict or core beliefs in conflict. I'm going to say this this needs to be taken with a grain of salt, because this is just my perspective, but I do believe it's true, otherwise I wouldn't say it. I think agree to disagree is dumb. If you live with someone and you're married to someone, there's certain things you can agree to disagree.

Alan Lazaros:

Yeah you can agree to disagree on where you put the garden, but you can't agree to disagree on some of the main. Like you better agree on how many children you want if you're going to plan on it. You better agree on certain things Like that's why the political climate in the USS was so hard during the election season, because there were some hefty disagreements about the core beliefs of each candidate. And we don't talk politics or religion on the show, nor are we going to, and that's for a reason because we want to be inclusive, but also who we are, and I'll tell you what. But also who we are and I'll tell you what.

Alan Lazaros:

There are certain things you cannot agree to disagree on. And if you're a business partner, like Kevin and I, or you're an intimate partner you live together, you're getting married you better agree to agree. And where you disagree in terms of goals, core values and core beliefs, there's a way that you got to integrate. Otherwise you're going to spend 30 years where there's compromise, compromise, compromise, compromise, compromise, compromise, compromise, compromise, compromise. Kev being a social butterfly was only going to work for so fucking long.

Alan Lazaros:

And me pretending that I enjoy hanging out and not building was never going to work long-term.

Kevin Palmieri:

Alcohol, alan. You got enough alcohol in me.

Alan Lazaros:

I am a social butterfly but that's also a very dangerous game. There's a red flag right there, that is, you have to drink alcohol to be compatible.

Kevin Palmieri:

That is that is a red flag. A red flag yeah, all right Things that are not red flags. The next level dreamliner All right Things that are not red flags. The next level dreamliner If you want to journal about the green flags hopefully, right. Hopefully you're not. Well, if you want to journal about the red flags so you can get over the red flags, I'm all for it. You can journal inside of the next level dreamliner. It's on Amazon. Again, you know us. Our goal is to make things sustainable so you can do them consistently, and then you can improve on that consistency. You can literally journal in five minutes with this, and that is the goal. Right, the goal is not for you to do one page and it changes your life. It's for you to do one page a day and that adds up to the change that will happen in your life. So we'll have the link in the show notes.

Alan Lazaros:

Next level dreamliner we also have a book club. We're reading a book called Reset and the link will be in the show notes to register. It's every Saturday, 1230 pm, eastern Standard Time, totally free. Pop in and out, do it while you're driving. You don't have to have your camera or your microphone on. We are happy to have you. They are brainstorming sessions, next level books with next level people, and I promise you this you will contemplate things that you've never thought of before, and that's true for me as well. Book Club is the place, it's one of the places where I learned the most I've ever learned. I connect more dots in there. People share their experiences, their take on the book, different perspectives. I come with three main points and excerpts from the book. It's really something, so join us Link will be in the show notes.

Kevin Palmieri:

As always. We love you, we appreciate you, grateful for each and every one of you and at NLU, we do not have fans, we have family.

Alan Lazaros:

We will talk to you all tomorrow, keep it Next Level, next Level.

Kevin Palmieri:

Nation. Thanks for joining us for another episode of Next Level University. We love connecting with the Next.

Alan Lazaros:

Level family. We mean it when we say family. If you ever need anything, please reach out to us directly. Everything you need to get a hold of us is in the show notes.

Kevin Palmieri:

Thank you again and we will talk to you tomorrow.

People on this episode