Next Level University

What’s Something You’ve Outgrown Lately? (2052)

• Kevin Palmieri and Alan Lazaros

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Outgrowing isn’t just leaving, it is learning when to let go. In this heartfelt episode, Kevin and Alan explore what it truly means to outgrow old identities, seek less approval, and find deeper self-respect. Through personal stories about fitness, posting with purpose, and building self-trust, they reveal how growth often feels like a quiet shift inside rather than a loud announcement.

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NLU is not just a podcast; it’s a gateway to a wealth of resources designed to help you achieve your goals and dreams. From our Next Level Dreamliner to our Group Coaching, we offer a variety of tools and communities to support your personal development journey.

For more information, please check out our website at the link below. 👇

Website 💻  http://www.nextleveluniverse.com

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We love connecting with you guys! Reach out on Instagram, Facebook, or via email. We’re here to support you in your personal and professional development journey.

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Kevin: https://www.instagram.com/neverquitkid/
Alan: https://www.instagram.com/alazaros88/

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Alan: https://www.facebook.com/alan.lazaros
Kevin: https://www.facebook.com/kevin.palmieri.90/

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Kevin@nextleveluniverse.com
Alan@nextleveluniverse.com

LinkedIn ✍
Kevin: https://www.linkedin.com/in/kevin-palmieri-5b7736160/
Alan: https://www.linkedin.com/in/alanlazarosllc/

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Show notes:
(2:52) Letting go of limiting identities
(4:59) Outgrowing the need for approval
(7:38) Posting for purpose, not popularity
(10:23) Meet like-minded people and jumpstart your journey to achieving your dreams while optimizing your life. Join Next Level Group Coaching. https://www.nextleveluniverse.com/group-coaching/
(12:11) Rebuilding a healthy identity through fitness
(16:38) How personal growth shifts your identity
(17:50) Losing and winning on your own terms
(18:50) Outro

Send a text to Kevin and Alan!

Kevin Palmieri:

Have you really outgrown something if you have not let go and moved past that thing? Amy put something in the Facebook group Next Level Nation and asked a simple question what is something you have outgrown lately? And my thought immediately went to can you really actually outgrow something if it's still in your life?

Alan Lazaros:

Before you go and post on social media, there's probably a part of you that says how is this going to be received? Is this going to make me liked, respected, admired? What if you changed that to? What do I actually want to post?

Kevin Palmieri:

Welcome to Next Level University. I'm your host, kevin Palmieri, and I'm your co-host, alan Lazarus. At NLU, we believe in a heart-driven but no BS approach to holistic self-improvement for dream chasers.

Alan Lazaros:

Our goal with every episode is to help you level up your life, love, health and wealth.

Kevin Palmieri:

We bring you a new episode every single day on topics like confidence, self-belief, self-worth, self-awareness, relationships, boundaries, consistency, habits and defining your own unique version of success Self-improvement in your pocket every day, from anywhere, completely free.

Kevin Palmieri:

Welcome to Next Level University, to Next Level University, next Level Nation today for episode number 2045. What's something you've outgrown lately? Alan did a dramatic pause at the. It's a whole thing. What's something you've outgrown lately? So you heard in the cold open, alan and I both kind of well. I kind of answered the question. Alan went in a different direction.

Kevin Palmieri:

Amy, who runs Next Level Nation, posted in our private Facebook group it was a little emoji throwing something in the trash, amy's crushing it in Next Level Nation and there's a question at the top what's something you've outgrown recently? And when I saw that post I was like I don't know, I don't feel like I. Is there anything I've really outgrown recently? I feel like everything's kind of normal, nothing too specific, nothing crazy. And I was like let me think on it for a second. And I had this moment where I was reflecting on all the times people would ask me in the gym if I was a bodybuilder are you a bodybuilder? And I'd say no man, fuck that, bodybuilding sucks. Because I had a very negative association with bodybuilding. I didn't know that.

Kevin Palmieri:

Yeah, man yeah, man yeah, the whole eating disorder, and it was brutal. It's terrible, absolutely it's terrible. Yeah, it was terrible. That was a piece of it. The other piece of it was I don't know.

Kevin Palmieri:

I feel like like when I'm in the gym and I'm really doing it, I feel like a meathead, and like when I'm filming my workouts I kind of feel like a meathead and often to meathead and philosophy don't usually go well together. In my mind at least, I'm not saying well in most people's minds. Probably. That got to me. That got to me for a while where it was like I can't really post self-improvement content, personal development content, podcast content and fitness content. So for a long time I didn't post fitness content.

Kevin Palmieri:

So what I let go of was the fact and outgrown was the fact that you can be well. I guess I outgrew and let go of the fact that you can't be both of those things. And I think the other thing too is you and I have talked about this a lot I like posting gym content, so I it feels good, but not necessarily from a significance thing. It's like I'm not, it's not for me necessarily. I'm posting it because everybody's on their own journey and this is what my journey currently is. So hopefully, maybe it'll inspire you to see that I'm still on the journey, maybe it'll help you go to the gym on a day you don't want to, and I think I just lost sight of how important that was as a facet for me of personal development. I mean mean, that's the first pillar of personal development I ever practiced Same.

Alan Lazaros:

This started as a fitness journey for me personal development. That was what I got in order first Mind, body, heart and soul. I got my body right first. So Kevin's comment is that I can't be a bodybuilder and a philosopher. So that's what you outgrew three exclamation points as well. You threw that in the trash. Threw in the trash, threw in the trash, let go of it. We got some other good ones in here being on the cusp of 49 years of age and doing whatever. This is starting over into entrepreneurship versus just safely going back to corporate, but it's still an adjustment. But five years of no corporate, almost two years of podcasting, we are reaching the tipping point of acceptance. Perhaps Next comment anonymous.

Alan Lazaros:

I have outgrown many of the opinions of other people and how those opinions have dictated how I show up in the world. This one was mine the need to be liked. I still want to be, but I'm working hard to optimize myself for adding value and helping people reach their potential, even if, unfortunately, that causes some people not to like or approve of me. Hashtag most people. I added that last part. I didn't write that last part. I've outgrown the need to be connected to people who aren't supportive of my growth. Realizing what's up. I love that one, yeah. Realizing when you interact with old friends in your social circle, they are still living the same lifestyle and concerns, while you've grown due to the 1% daily action. Shout out to anyone who did contribute to that post. So what have I outgrown lately? What has Kevin outgrown lately? What have you listener or viewer outgrown lately? I wouldn't say I've outgrown it, but I've accepted it more.

Alan Lazaros:

I have said many times, I have a video that I adore, that is content that I like, it's fitness, and it has 500 views now and only two likes. I actually checked it earlier today and because I was talking to Amelia about this, this, this, and I said, hey, you know, we were talking about how hard it is to try to inspire and motivate and educate people when what you're passionate about is not getting any love and the whole social media thing in general. So I pulled it up and I showed her and she was she's the one who's been uh, filming, cause her and I go to the gym together, but I would not say I've outgrown it. I think that that's probably untrue. I would say that I've accepted that I cannot. Okay, so if you're a coach out there listening or watching, if you're not, this will just be sort of an anecdote, but if you are, you have to build credibility. You have to lead by example. You have to share build credibility. You have to lead by example. You have to share your experience. You have to inspire, motivate and educate and you have to be ahead of others, but not so much that you're a mirror, it's a whole thing. It's like you have to be ahead, but not by too much, because then the psychological safety is less and you have to post consistently in order to stay relevant. But you aren't allowed to educate that much because then it's triggering. But you still have to educate a little because it's just. It's just very hard to find that sweet spot.

Alan Lazaros:

I've been working on social media for 10 years and I've gotten to this place it's it's very new for me of what would I want to post Like, what would I want to see Like. What would I want to see what, what do I think is of value? And so I've been just doing these posts lately. If anyone's following me on social media Instagram or Facebook I don't post them on LinkedIn because I think these are inappropriate, probably for the professional setting. But I posted one today of my workout and it was all my workouts seven different workouts, sets and reps, muscle groups and I call it my exercise log and I'm just doing that and it's doing okay.

Alan Lazaros:

Some posts do better than others, but ultimately, what I've tried to let go of or outgrow or accept is when I was the most liked, with the most external validation. I didn't really like myself, I wasn't really in alignment, I wasn't really on my path, I didn't have a lot of self-respect, and now I feel like I have a lot of self-respect because I'm doing what I believe is best and I'm posting what I believe is of value, and so I've accepted that being liked is something I want, but it's not something that I'm going to optimize for.

Kevin Palmieri:

I have a dumb question. It's either dumb or the smartest question ever in history.

Alan Lazaros:

Okay, let me know when you're you, let me know when you're ready.

Kevin Palmieri:

I'm ready. Okay, how do you actually know if you've outgrown something? Second one it's the smartest question ever in history. Hell yes, how do you?

Alan Lazaros:

know you can feel different.

Alan Lazaros:

If it affects you differently, you're not as concerned I'm still concerned, but I'm not as concerned, which is weird, because I think the ego wants to tell you. The ego wants to say, oh, alan, you never cared anyway what people think, which is not true. That's just your protector, your ego, also known as the psychological immune system, because you're not ready to face the truth. Yet when the deeper layer of that is okay, you do actually care, and it does kind of hurt that no one seems to care about what you care about. And then the layer beneath, that of acceptance, is okay, I still care, but not as much as I used to, and I'm, instead of posting this and being like, oh, who cares what anyone thinks, you post it and say, oh, that's unfortunate, but okay, I'm still going to post it and I'm still glad I did. Yeah, I think it feels different. What would be your answer?

Kevin Palmieri:

Next level nation. What is happening? If you've thought to yourself, I want to try coaching, but you don't really know where to start, group coaching would be a wonderful place for you. That's really why we created it in the first place. We start a new round every 90 days. So if you're hearing this, go to the website nextleveluniversecom and we have the landing page where you can actually hold your spot right now. Even if there's a group going on right now, you can still lock your spot for the next one. The biggest thing that we've seen is, as we get closer and closer to the date, unfortunately, some people end up missing. The group fills up and they can't do it, and then they end up regretting that. So please head over to the website. The link will be in the show notes and we would love to see you there. Probably you don't think about it as much. So similar less concerned.

Kevin Palmieri:

Yeah, it's just not. It takes less conscious energy to do it, effort to do it. There's less of a conversation in your brain. I recorded myself doing squats yesterday and I forgot to put it up cause I'm out here Jeffing, but it's like I can't wait to post that. I'm super excited to post that and that's it's big leg day. That's a piece of it. When it stops, when it either attaches or detaches from your identity, like for a long time, the identity of a bodybuilder was just not doing me any favor, so I didn't want it. I didn't want it that gone. I wanted that gone. Now I love that. I like feel like a bodybuilder again. I'm eating like a, I train like a bodybuilder. I love that. But for a long time it wasn't part of my identity. Now I want it to be part of my identity. I think that's a big piece too. When you outgrow something, it, it no longer seems like it's a part of you. When you grow into something, it feels like you are becoming it.

Alan Lazaros:

I think those are probably the best examples I could give why was it something you didn't want to be a part of, and now you do want it to be a part of you?

Kevin Palmieri:

I think I understand I didn't want it to be a part of me and I didn't want to be a part of you. I think I understand I didn't want it to be a part of me and I didn't want to be a part of it because I had such a negative association with the feelings I just when I last time my identity was I am a bodybuilder Life was fucking terrible. It was terrible and I think my thought process was if I go back to that place, my life is going to be terrible again.

Kevin Palmieri:

I think that was my thought process, but I've evolved and I didn't give myself credit for that, understandably. So I think that's it, and now I'm proud of that. I've been getting a lot. I told Taryn this. I've been getting a lot of compliments at the gym. Like one of my buddies, seth, came up. He's like dude, what do you do for legs? Like it was like this I'll show you I'm doing squats. This is what I do. So that feels good that I now it feels like I've always been the guy who is in shape. It feels good to get that again. That reinforces the identity and reinforces what it means for me to be a bodybuilder. So that's dangerous, though. External stuff it's. That's dangerous. You can't.

Alan Lazaros:

You can't take that too far you have to care about it, but only the right amount the right, the right amount the right constructive amount.

Kevin Palmieri:

I was thinking of something too, and I don't. I don't think it would make for a good episode, or I don't, I don't know, I don't think it would. When you getting compliments, that is a sign to keep your foot on the gas, not take your foot off the gas. I'm getting a lot of fitness compliments. Now is time for me to continue with fitness. Here's the real problem, though.

Alan Lazaros:

Yeah, hit me with it. Some people are not getting compliments.

Alan Lazaros:

Well, I'm talking to the people who are Okay, because if you're not, it could be a number of reasons if because when I'm not getting compliments I feel like that's when I should stay on the gas, that's fair. Yeah, because that's a good example of this. I have one client who, statistically, is on the very higher end of fit and attractive and she struggles because a lot of times the better and better shape she gets in Emilia same deal, like I was at Marshall's yesterday. She was in Marshall's and I was getting us Qdoba.

Alan Lazaros:

But when I went to go pick her up because I took the car over to Qdoba and I mean I can just see the dirty looks from the other women that she gets Emilia is, in my opinion, 10 out of 10 gorgeous. Her eyes, I mean she's just, she's the most gorgeous thing ever. And I can see she doesn't get positive reinforcement for that from women. Some women she does, but most of the time no. And so when you say when you start getting compliments you need to step on the gas, I would say I feel like I get more compliments when I'm losing and I get less praise when I'm actually dialed in.

Kevin Palmieri:

Yeah, that's fair, that's so that's two very different experiences and very different perspectives. Again, I'm usually the underdog, so people like to see me win and I've always gotten compliments in the gym. Again, if I was six foot five, would I I don't know, people would probably be afraid of me. You definitely wouldn't, right? So, yeah, short kings, unite.

Kevin Palmieri:

Yeah, it's hard, I don't know. It's hard because, again, we say this all the time I could give advice and it might land for 50% of people. Most likely not, though Alan could give advice. It might land for five people, but those five people might feel it so deeply it's like, wow, you really get me. You know exactly what it's like to be me and that's why it's so.

Kevin Palmieri:

Even this like for me, let's say you, you're in a very similar position to where I am and you're identifying now as somebody who is into fitness. That might be something that might not be serving you because, like there, there are opportunities where maybe you obsess over and it's taking over your life and it's wrecking your friendship, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. You don't want to do the same thing in the same way, at the same time I'm doing it. It wouldn't serve you the way it's serving me and that's why it's a personal question. So if you're out there, sit down.

Kevin Palmieri:

If you have a dream ladder, you can do it there. If you don't, you can do it in a piece of paper. You can do it. On, important question is what does it mean that you've been able to outgrow it Like? What does that mean If you, by definition, if you're outgrowing something, that means you're growing beyond something. So what have you done to facilitate that growth? Has it been tracking habits? Has it been tracking your finances? What is it? Because at least, if there's going to be some potential negative feelings that come with it, you should get some positive reinforcement.

Alan Lazaros:

My next level lesson is what's the next thing that you need to outgrow in order to get to the next level? Because one of the reasons I outgrew that, or accepted that, is because I realized I'm just losing. I'm just losing. I'm second guessing what I'm posting. I'm not posting what I'm passionate about. I'm second guessing every fucking caption and I just this isn't helping. I need to actually execute. I need to design my own content and let it be what it is, and the people that don't like it won't like it, and the people that do do. And as long as I'm respectful, I'm happy long as I'm respectful I'm happy.

Kevin Palmieri:

If you're gonna lose, you might as well lose in your own terms, just like if you want to win, you most likely want to win in your own terms too. I mean, you think I'm gonna lose?

Alan Lazaros:

yes, most likely. I'm gonna do it on my own terms, yeah, whatever whatever.

Kevin Palmieri:

I mean, that's how this whole thing started. Right, you used to write novels and I was like dude, nobody's gonna read all that. I know some people did, and if they don't, whatever, who are we doing it for? Are you doing it for you? Because it makes you feel good, awesome, great, great, great. That should be a bigger piece of it anyway.

Alan Lazaros:

I think I'm doing it for the select few who really want to learn the workouts.

Kevin Palmieri:

Shout out to you out there. If you're one of the select few who is looking for a group of like-minded humans, we will have the link in the show notes for Next Level Nation Private Facebook group. It's not private to keep you out. It's private to make sure that you feel like you can lean into who you are and you can maybe outgrow judgment. This is a great place to be able to do that.

Alan Lazaros:

No bullies allowed, no disrespect allowed. We have kicked people out for being disrespectful.

Kevin Palmieri:

So it's a safe place to be yourself. As always, we love you, we appreciate you, grateful for each and every one of you, and at NLU we don't have fans, we have family. We will talk to you all tomorrow.

Alan Lazaros:

Keep it Next Level, next Level Nation.

Kevin Palmieri:

Thanks for joining us for another episode of Next Level University. We love connecting with the Next.

Alan Lazaros:

Level family. We mean it when we say family. If you ever need anything, please reach out to us directly. Everything you need to get a hold of us is in the show notes.

Kevin Palmieri:

Thank you again and we will talk to you tomorrow.

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Alan Lazaros

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Kevin Palmieri

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