Next Level University

A Fear Almost No One Talks About… (2054)

• Kevin Palmieri and Alan Lazaros

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In today’s episode of Next Level University, hosts Kevin Palmieri and Alan Lazaros open up about an unexpected fear—the fear of success. They explore how success can feel isolating, stir up shame, and even trigger envy in others. 

Kevin shares his personal struggle with posting fitness progress, not out of vanity, but concern over how it might affect others' self-worth. Alan reflects on how even with good intentions, being successful can bring judgment and distance from others. This conversation will make you think twice about how success is viewed and felt, especially in close communities. It’s a must-listen if you’ve ever held back on your goals because of how others might respond.

Learn more about:
Free 30-minute Business Breakthrough Session with Alan -
https://calendly.com/alanlazaros/30-minute-free-breakthrough-session?month=2025-04
Free 30-Minute Podcast Breakthrough Session with Kevin -
https://calendly.com/kevinpalmieri/free-30-minute-podcast-breakthrough-session-with-kevin

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NLU is not just a podcast; it’s a gateway to a wealth of resources designed to help you achieve your goals and dreams. From our Next Level Dreamliner to our Group Coaching, we offer a variety of tools and communities to support your personal development journey.

For more information, please check out our website at the link below. 👇


Website 💻  http://www.nextleveluniverse.com

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We love connecting with you guys! Reach out on Instagram, Facebook, or via email. We’re here to support you in your personal and professional development journey.

Instagram 📷
Kevin: https://www.instagram.com/neverquitkid/
Alan: https://www.instagram.com/alazaros88/

Facebook ✍
Alan: https://www.facebook.com/alan.lazaros
Kevin: https://www.facebook.com/kevin.palmieri.90/

Email 💬
Kevin@nextleveluniverse.com
Alan@nextleveluniverse.com

LinkedIn ✍
Kevin: https://www.linkedin.com/in/kevin-palmieri-5b7736160/
Alan: https://www.linkedin.com/in/alanlazarosllc/

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Show notes:
(0:00) Intro
(1:10) What NLU is all about
(4:07) Fitness, shame, and self-worth
(6:14) Triggering envy through inspiration
(10:45) Meet like-minded people and jumpstart your journey to achieving your dreams while optimizing your life. Join Next Level Group Coaching. https://www.nextleveluniverse.com/group-coaching/
(13:09) The loneliness of leveling up
(17:01) Fear of being judged for your growth
(18:34) Helping others can still bring hate
(19:45)  Outro


Send a text to Kevin and Alan!

Kevin Palmieri:

I will never forget. Alan and I were having a conversation in the studio one time and I was talking about how I was afraid of failure and somehow through the grapevine we worked out that Alan's deepest fear at the time was success. And I remember thinking how the hell could you possibly be afraid of success? Isn't that what we're doing this for? But that was a new thought process for me. I had never really met anybody that was afraid of success, and now I've seen that with so many people. It's been super surprising to me.

Alan Lazaros:

Emilia got a, my partner she got a trauma certification that talks about shame, how it works, and I believe we lie to ourselves and we lie to each other. We inflate, we deflate and we omit, depending on what we are ashamed of. Some people have shame around being less than Some people have shame around being more than Some people have shame around whatever some truth is and it's good self-awareness to have Welcome to Next Level University.

Kevin Palmieri:

I'm your host, Kevin Palmieri.

Alan Lazaros:

And I'm your co-host, Alan Lazarus.

Kevin Palmieri:

At NLU, we believe in a heart-driven but no BS approach to holistic self-improvement for dream chasers.

Alan Lazaros:

Our goal with every episode is to help you level up your life, love, health and wealth.

Kevin Palmieri:

We bring you a new episode every single day on topics like confidence, self-belief, self-worth, self-awareness, relationships, boundaries, consistency, habits and defining your own unique version of success Self-improvement in your pocket every day, from anywhere, completely free. Welcome to Next Level University, Next Level Nation today for episode number 2054, a fear almost no one talks about. Alan and I were talking and he said what are we learning from the Next Level Fitness Accountability Group? If you want to be in, just reach out to us and we'll let you in.

Alan Lazaros:

It's just a great group of people who are trying to improve in their own unique way physically and it helps having the accountability dm us on the gram, dm us on the gram. Do that say fitness accountability group boom, and we'll let you in. We'll let you on in come on in, come on into the private whatsapp link.

Kevin Palmieri:

We did put it publicly. And then there was a bunch of people that weren't real, that were trying to join it. We're like, oh, can't do that, that's, that's just. Please do not crypto scam me. In our next level of fitness fitness accountability group, I will have to put you down. Alan said what have you, what are you learning? What have you learned? What are the lessons from that? And I said I've had a little bit of fear lately as I continue to get leaner and leaner with me posting in there because one I don't want it to seem like a thirst trap, like, oh, here's kev with his shirt off again. I don't want it to be that.

Kevin Palmieri:

I don't I don't want that I'm afraid that it's going to go from inspirational to people thinking it's significance driven. Maybe, and honestly and this is vulnerable for me to say I'm afraid it's going to make other people feel shame. I think the purpose of the group I mean as a leader in the group it's different for me. Do I get accountability? One thousand percent, one thousand percent, a thousand percent, like? Certainly there are moments where I'm lying in bed saying I don't want to go to the gym and I'm like, well, I have to get a picture for the accountability group. I think about that all the time, so it helps me as much as it helps anybody else, but I don't have any. It's like my fear is not sharing a picture of me shirtless. My fear is what sharing a picture of me shirtless will create in terms of fear for other people. Yes, and that's relatively new to me, I would say really, yeah, this is this. One's like a new. I mean, we, we've never had a fitness accountability group before, so it's new.

Alan Lazaros:

This is a new experience when you were in really good shape and did bodybuilding competitions and I remember I was at a barbecue with kev way back he we were playing bags and he took his shirt off and maybe didn't breathe once His abs were popping the entire time.

Kevin Palmieri:

Good for you. By the way, I'm coming for it.

Alan Lazaros:

I'll never forget that you were ripped man. And also is he breathing.

Kevin Palmieri:

No. So you and I, the Next Level Hope Foundation Father's Day event is in a month and a half, 60 days. I plan on being absolutely shredded. Nice, I plan on I'm. I will surprise you like that is what I'm, I'm focused on that. I will surprise you. I have to, I have it.

Alan Lazaros:

He's back, baby, he's back. This is next level you again. I remember one time I again I've told this story, but it's just, I think it's funny and kevin and I are guys who I think are very healthy masculine, but every now and then we give each other a little ribbing. I do. I said, kev, this is next level you, not dad bod university. Next level university. What the fuck is going on here? Man, I'm obviously being playful and obviously he has a good relationship with his body and all that. If he actually was ashamed, I wouldn't. I wouldn't do that and he's done the same for me. I promise you that. So anyways, when you were back in fitness mode, you didn't have any shame around being in better shape than everybody no, because I didn't.

Kevin Palmieri:

It's different when you, when there's like a community like I know. I didn't know when I was posting on social media I didn't know who was seeing it, or it was other bodybuilders or it was other fitness competitors. Now I'm thinking of the people in the community More than anything. I know I talk to these people on a daily basis. They like my stuff on a daily basis. It's just different and if you're out there, it feels weird me talking to Alan about you, knowing you're going to listen. But I feel like this is an important thing to talk about because I think we all have this in something. It just probably isn't the same thing.

Alan Lazaros:

So back in the day we're playing bags at the barbecue. You remember, and you're ripped. You were not at all concerned about other people feeling bad about their bodies.

Kevin Palmieri:

No, no, that was never a conscious thought. What that was never, ever a conscious thought.

Alan Lazaros:

Well, when I realized that you can't inspire someone without also potentially triggering envy because that's what that is I mean. When you're ripped and someone else doesn't feel good on the beach, you trigger envy. That's a natural human response. That's okay. You can't do one without the other. You can't be an inspiration like we've built a company that has has made you know, grossed well over a million dollars at this stage when I say that it will trigger potential shame in people that are not doing well. But I also know that it is necessary to, number one, lead by example. And number two, to actually show that we are credible. And number three, to inspire and motivate.

Kevin Palmieri:

Well, things have changed. I used to do it for significance. It was the opposite. It was almost like I'm not, I'm thinking of me, I'm not thinking of anybody else I'm thinking of. If I take my shirt off, I will get x response. That's the only card I have, like that's the only card I can pull, and it usually works. Time to pull the card. Here we go. Is it too early to pull?

Kevin Palmieri:

no, perfect time now you want me to clean up that spell? Yeah, my shirt's already off the cup halfway over. My shirt's already coming off, I feel good about me, real quick, yeah.

Alan Lazaros:

Did you ever see the first Transformers movie with Shia LaBeouf and Megan Fox. Megan Fox.

Kevin Palmieri:

No, I never watched all of those movies.

Alan Lazaros:

no, 2009, 2010,. There was a second one, I think it's the second one. He's at a fraternity party and I was back in college when these movies came out and he, the wow Bumblebee, which is his robot, his transformer, it's a car, it's a charger yellow charger and it drives up onto the lawn to try to get him out of there. And these frat boys come out in these tight shirts and they're like who the fuck parked on the lawn? And I don't think they swore, because it's pg-13, but this is my interpretation of it. And uh, what are you doing? Like, why are you leaving? And he's like I just, I'm just going to find you a tighter shirt. And one of the dudes turns and says there are none. We checked, fist bump and it just makes me think of that like respect.

Alan Lazaros:

Yeah, exactly, there are none. We fucking checked the.

Kevin Palmieri:

The point I was trying to make with that is just. I think I used to do it more for significance and now I don't like it feels good getting compliments but I don't feel like I rely on them as much as I once did.

Alan Lazaros:

What what do you do it for?

Kevin Palmieri:

now Inspiration, accountability, accountability. Like I could stop dieting right now. I'm in the best shape I've been in. I look better now at 176 than I did at 170 after our last cut. I look way better now. I could stop right now, but I want to keep going and see what happens. So it's more for me, it's more about me.

Alan Lazaros:

It's more for me.

Kevin Palmieri:

It wasn't back in the day for you. No, no, I did the bodybuilding show for other people more than I did it for me, for sure. That's why I did so well, because it wasn't for me.

Alan Lazaros:

Yesterday's episode, I listened to it. So today's episode, the one about Hero, today, today, so I listened to it today. No, no, no. Well, this is weird Yesterday's episode.

Kevin Palmieri:

It's going to be yesterday's episode but it's today's episode because we're recording it today.

Alan Lazaros:

Time is Two thousand and fifty Three, three three, 2053. I reviewed it this morning and it's about being a hero, so that's interesting. In the back, in the past, your fitness endeavors were for external validation. Appreciate the honesty and ownership on that, so I could be wrong about this. But I think that as you progress and become more wealthy and more healthy and more in love and more jacked and more intelligent and more capable and more competent and more excellence, I think you will struggle with fear of success.

Kevin Palmieri:

I think that's it makes sense. Next level nation. What is happening? If you've thought to yourself I want to try coaching, but you don't really know where to start, group coaching would be a wonderful place for you. That's really why we created it in the first place. We start a new round every 90 days. So if you're hearing this, go to the website nextleveluniversecom and we have the landing page where you can actually hold your spot right now. Even if there's a group going on right now, you can still lock your spot for the next one. The biggest thing that we've seen is, as we get closer and closer to the date, unfortunately, some people end up missing. The group fills up and they can't do it, and then they end up regretting that. So please head over to the website. The link will be in the show notes and we would love to see you there.

Kevin Palmieri:

If the only thing you have is a really nice body, you're not scared of showing that off, because that's what gets you the most significance, which makes you feel good about you, which becomes a cycle If you start working on yourself and you start to feel a little bit smarter and people give you more respect and people are more complimentative of the fact that you can have deep conversations. It's like, interesting, okay, I get love there and I get respect there. That's interesting. And then you're able to add value and then you start making more money. It's like, yeah, you, you become more well-rounded. So I don't think you have to highlight one thing as much.

Alan Lazaros:

We are growing a, so I don't think you have to highlight one thing as much we are growing a company, and when I say this, I need to make it as clear as possible this is gross revenue. This is not after payroll, this is not after taxes, this is not after. But we Kevin and the team and all of us we got a client this year. That is more than most people's entire annual salary. From one client, that triggers one of two responses it's either inspiring and motivating, and someone might want to work with us to help learn how we did that and I highly encourage you, do that. If you want to be wealthy, I can help you build wealth, I'm certain of that or it's going to make someone feel ashamed of their salary, and I don't think you can have one without the other. And you've said in the past you check too many boxes, so it's hard for people. What is it like for you now going from? This is the only card I have to now you've got pocket aces all the time.

Kevin Palmieri:

I wouldn't say that. I wouldn't say I have pocket aces all the time Depending.

Alan Lazaros:

I wouldn't say that I wouldn't say I pocket aces all the time. Depending on who you're around, though and this is something that's really uncomfortable to talk about but there's Depending on what room you're in, you have your shit together.

Kevin Palmieri:

Yeah, you're dialed in.

Alan Lazaros:

I mean, you just are, and I always thought that that would be admired and respected and a good thing and I think it is in some ways but it's been atrociously bad when it comes to having friends and being liked. It's not likable. It's not an easily likable thing. So now that you check more boxes, what has that been like to go from like the underdog that no one had expectations of to now what?

Kevin Palmieri:

the fuck. I think most of it's internal, because nothing have I gotten. I went on a podcast recently and it was like I was like this this girl does not like me, oh, she does not like me very much talk to me.

Alan Lazaros:

I love it. I feel so seen right now. This is great.

Kevin Palmieri:

It was just clear I don't know, does that ever happen to you? How often does that happen to you? It's pretty rare. It happens more with men, I think, than women. Usually, women episodes go really well.

Alan Lazaros:

How often do you feel like someone's giving you daggers, like deep down, they just don't like you and they don't know why.

Kevin Palmieri:

You rub them the wrong way, like out of 100 people.

Alan Lazaros:

How often does that happen? What percentage of the time Like 10? Probably Okay. Way, like out of a hundred people. How often does that happen? What percentage of the time like 10? Probably okay. You and I have opposite numbers. For me it's nine out of ten times, yeah, but it's usually like I.

Kevin Palmieri:

I noticed that if I'm going to the grocery store and I'm in a really good mood and I'm really outgoing, one of two things happens the other person responds super well or super badly yeah if they're in a good mood, they probably respond pretty well.

Kevin Palmieri:

If they're in a bad mood, they do not respond well at all. So is that a me thing? Is that a them thing? It's an us thing. But yeah, I, it was just at the end of the interview. It was just a weird energy of like you didn't? She's kind of trying to like mom me. She's like well, you know, you, you don't have to think that way. It's like I understand, I, I understand, I know, I understand. I know what you're saying. I know what you're saying. But my favorite moments.

Alan Lazaros:

I've done this for a long, watching people try to coach A long time, and my favorite thing in the world is watching people try to coach Kevin when he's like 10 times more successful than they are.

Kevin Palmieri:

It's my favorite thing in the world. But I don't want to add value and I want to be. I want to be balanced no, I do not think her intention was to be disrespectful.

Alan Lazaros:

No, even if her intention wasn't, do you think she was putting respect on it?

Kevin Palmieri:

yeah, it wasn't. It wasn't like flagrant disrespect, it was trending that way. It was trending towards disrespect, not flagrant, just, I mean, it wasn't that. But yeah, that's, that's relatively new for me, I don't know. I I don't, it doesn't happen that often. I think right now I'm in a phase where it's mostly internal, I'm mostly dealing with the internal. Um, why don't I want to post this picture of me like I'm the leanest I've been? Why don't I want to? Why don't I want to post this? Oh, because I, what are people going? Not, not, I know exactly what they're going to think. They're going to think oh, he's in good shape. I don't, that's not what I. I don't think that way anymore.

Kevin Palmieri:

Some people again some people and again, if you're in the next level fitness accountability group, I really hope you don't think I'm talking trash, because I don't mean it like that. It's not that we all have our responses to stuff like this and this is my one of my first experiences of being afraid of more afraid of success than failure. I've had it before with like clients and stuff. It's like I don't know if I can handle the amount of judgment or the amount of feedback or the amount of responsibility like I've had that. But this is where it's disconnected completely from. This has nothing to do with business, it has nothing to do with money. It has nothing to do with that. This is like the thing that I've been the most confident in forever, so it's interesting interesting thing.

Alan Lazaros:

Okay, well, I know we gotta jump, but the last thing, next level lesson for me is, if you're out there and you are afraid of failure and afraid of not being enough, I think that's often a place in your growth journey where you start and I think, eventually, as you become higher self-belief, higher self-worth we did the victim villain hero guide on the last episode, so go back and listen to that if you haven't. But when you do become the guide, you get and you want to be that lighthouse helping inspire, motivate and educate people. You you're gonna get like negative responses to people who feel like, if people feel really bad about their bodies and they have this really negative aversion to fitness, like, oh, body builders and your meathead and all that stuff, like you're going to get that You're going to be a beacon that gets rocks thrown at it, but you're also going to inspire people who want to be a bodybuilder, who want to be jacked, who want to have a six-pack, who want to be in shape, and I don't think you can have one without the other. I think you can be respectful.

Alan Lazaros:

I think you have one character and you have infinite reputations and characters. Who you are, who you really are and reputations is everyone's opinion, based on their own internal reaction to what you do and don't do. And I feel very seen in this because I feel like I've spent the last decade trying to help people and it's been alarming how many people fucking hate me. Yeah, it's like I was. I'm like all I do is try to help people like 24 7 365, like there has to be something to say for that, you know, and it's just I could, I could cry.

Alan Lazaros:

Talking about it's like wow, that's not what's being focused on at all like I'm not posting this for me like, yeah, we got to grow the business and we got to inspire and stuff, but at the end of the day, it's like I'm just trying to help people, like why is that not a good thing, right? So yeah, you're not alone in that, and the better you get, the it comes with. You get to feel really good about yourself, which is wonderful in your real life, but in the social world that is not necessarily a well-received thing deep, deep and true and true.

Kevin Palmieri:

My my next level lesson would be we had someone in the group say this is vulnerable for me to share, but I feel like this is a really safe place to do it. So, again, my fear of sharing something with the way I think other people are going to feel about it. This person was on the other end of. I'm a little nervous to share this because what people might think? But I feel safe here. I feel safe in the opposite way, right, and I'm going to keep leaning into that, just like that person's going to keep leaning into it. So everybody has fear, everybody has insecurities. Just because it's not the same Doesn't mean it's not as hard is what I would end with.

Kevin Palmieri:

All right, alan has spots open for coaching. We'll have his 30 minute breakthrough session link in the show notes and if you're looking for a group that is going to help you stay more consistent when it comes to fitness, we will, yeah, reach out to us. Just dm me, dm alan, and just say accountability group and we will get you in. We'll send you the link and all that happy jazz as always. We love you, we appreciate you, grateful for each and every one of you and nlu. We don't have fans, have family. We will talk to you all tomorrow.

Alan Lazaros:

Keep it Next Level Next.

Kevin Palmieri:

Level Nation. Thanks for joining us for another episode of Next Level University. We love connecting with the Next Level family.

Alan Lazaros:

We mean it when we say family. If you ever need anything, please reach out to us directly. Everything you need to get a hold of us is in the show notes.

Kevin Palmieri:

Thank you again and we will talk to you tomorrow.

People on this episode

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Alan Lazaros

Host
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Kevin Palmieri

Host