Next Level University

Your Higher Self Knows… (2062)

• Kevin Palmieri and Alan Lazaros

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In today’s episode of Next Level University, host Kevin Palmieri turns the mic toward co-host Alan Lazaros to uncover what truly fuels him. From the quiet strength of frustration to a fire that never fades, Alan shares the experience of living with a purpose that refuses to rest. This is a conversation about ambition, alignment, emotional honesty, and growing without losing yourself. If you’ve ever wondered why some souls seem driven beyond reason, this episode will help you understand why.

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NLU is not just a podcast; it’s a gateway to a wealth of resources designed to help you achieve your goals and dreams. From our Next Level Dreamliner to our Group Coaching, we offer a variety of tools and communities to support your personal development journey.

For more information, please check out our website at the link below. 👇

Website 💻  http://www.nextleveluniverse.com

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We love connecting with you guys! Reach out on Instagram, Facebook, or via email. We’re here to support you in your personal and professional development journey.

Instagram 📷
Kevin: https://www.instagram.com/neverquitkid/
Alan: https://www.instagram.com/alazaros88/

Facebook ✍
Alan: https://www.facebook.com/alan.lazaros
Kevin: https://www.facebook.com/kevin.palmieri.90/

Email 💬
Kevin@nextleveluniverse.com
Alan@nextleveluniverse.com

LinkedIn ✍
Kevin: https://www.linkedin.com/in/kevin-palmieri-5b7736160/
Alan: https://www.linkedin.com/in/alanlazarosllc/

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Show notes:
(2:43) Frustration as fuel for growth
(5:53) The belief gap behind frustration
(7:55) Stepping into transformational leadership
(9:42) Raised differently, wired to lead
(13:08) Hearing the whisper of purpose
(16:49) When you don’t have a choice
(18:45) Owning regret to unlock growth
(21:43) Next Level Dreamliner: The planner, agenda, journal, and habit tracker to rule them all. Get a copy: https://a.co/d/9fPpxEt
(24:44) Your adversity is your advantage
(26:14) The paradox of feeling lazy
(30:51) Outgrowing the dreams you once had
(34:24) Intelligence and momentum shape success
(38:02) The one question that matters most
(41:02) Outro

Send a text to Kevin and Alan!

Kevin Palmieri:

One of the best parts of this podcast, in my humble opinion as somebody who is hosting it, is the fact that you and I have such different perspectives, and many times you have interviewed me and I have interviewed you. You interviewed me earlier this week. Today, I'm going to try to peel back the curtain on what makes Alan Lazarus. Alan Lazarus, come along for the ride, will you?

Alan Lazaros:

When you do. Please understand that. I hope this gets you to think differently so that you can have a bigger, better, brighter future. That is the purpose, and Kevin and I have two different sides of the same coin and I think there's tremendous value in that.

Kevin Palmieri:

Welcome to Next Level University. I'm your host, kevin Palmieri, and I'm your co-host, alan Lazarus. At NLU, we believe in a heart-driven but no BS approach to holistic self-improvement for dream chasers.

Alan Lazaros:

Our goal with every episode is to help you level up your life love health and wealth.

Kevin Palmieri:

We bring you a new episode every single day, on topics like confidence, self-belief, self-worth, self-awareness, relationships, boundaries, consistency, habits and defining your own unique version of success.

Alan Lazaros:

Self-improvement in your pocket, every day, from anywhere, completely free.

Kevin Palmieri:

Welcome to Next Level University, next Level Nation, for episode number 2062,. Going upon what we did recently, I'm going to interview Alan, and the reason there's no title yet is because we don't even know what we're going to talk about, so we're really very much freestyling this. Remember the first time you ever interviewed me, I do.

Alan Lazaros:

And you opened with Welcome to the mother effing.

Kevin Palmieri:

I'm not going to say it because I'm not in a very sweary mood. For some reason, I went all the way back to your first ever Instagram post today. The first ever Instagram post that you had was of your girlfriend at the time, so I was like I can't really use that. The second one Please hold on, let me open up my, let me open up my photos here, because I screenshotted it, I believe. No, I didn't, I'm a, I'm an idiot. Your, your instagram has essentially been self-improvement personal development since you started. Yeah, in 2015 or 2016, 2015? This is my question to get us started, because a lot of people have asked me this and it's like you know that that's a really good place to start. What is on your heart for you probably slash mind that you haven't got the opportunity to talk about recently, that you would like to?

Alan Lazaros:

kind of have been talking about that, so I wouldn't say I haven't been able to. I think frustration is a really good thing because it's a. We talked about this earlier. Frustration is a byproduct of an obstacle up against a goal. It's it's the byproduct of not making progress.

Alan Lazaros:

Anyone out there watching or listening what is your relationship with frustration? What's your relationship with? I was listening to a. I went for a run earlier and I was listening to something. I forget what. It was something motivational and they said don't let pain get in the way of your goals. And I thought to myself is there anyone out there who has, who doesn't have a goal? That's going to require some pain, because during the run, I was trying to hit a certain time for my mile, because we're going to do a 5k later this summer and I'm trying to be the most athletic version of myself, so that's my goal. Pain is a necessary part of that. So I think people's relationship with frustration is not positive and I think that most innovation or most most positive change is a byproduct of owning and accepting frustration.

Kevin Palmieri:

And sharing it. Sharing it? Why do you think it's not positive, the relationship with it Socially?

Alan Lazaros:

You and I have talked about this a lot. It's so interesting you interviewing me Been going on other shows lately and this is different because it's Kevin. I know you, yeah, and we've talked about all this.

Kevin Palmieri:

Well, my goal is to get to a place we haven't talked about. Well, good luck with that, yeah no, it's fair.

Alan Lazaros:

2064 episode. There's the real world, which is who you are and what you are. When no one's watching, it's your real bank account. It's one's watching, it's your real bank account. It's your real car, it's your real clothing, it's your real closet, it's your real basement, it's your real relationship. And then the social world is when you're at a barbecue or you're at a family dinner or you are taking your mother out for Mother's Day, you're at a restaurant. That's the social world and it's not okay to be frustrated in the social world typically. But I think behind the scenes you can be frustrated, and as long as you handle that in a constructive way that's not toxic and not hurting other people. We call it emoting, emilia calls it emoting, and then you and I started calling it emoting.

Kevin Palmieri:

You started calling it emoting, sir.

Alan Lazaros:

Yeah, I have not emoted, you're not an emoter. When you look up emoting, it's essentially just expressing emotions verbally, which I think leads to brainstorming, and I think brainstorming leads to positive change.

Kevin Palmieri:

Okay, what would your thesis be if somebody behind the scenes has a negative relationship with frustration? Like, not even social. This is behind the scenes, no social life. Wait, ask that again. You said one of the reasons people have a negative association or relationship with frustration is because of relationships and the social world. Yeah, what about behind the scenes when they're on their own? What if they have a negative relationship? What do you think that is? Relationship with frustration is because of relationships and the social world. Yeah, what about behind the scenes when they're on their own? What if? If they have a negative relationship, what do you think that is?

Alan Lazaros:

I have a thesis, lack of belief that they can do anything about it yeah, yeah.

Alan Lazaros:

It's a lack of belief that they can do anything about it. My relationship with frustration is negative because of social. I got frustrated before the gym last, not last week, two days ago, two or three days ago and Emilia and I we had a certain amount of time to go to the gym before my first session and then we had to do 30 minutes instead of 45 minutes and then we had to walk later because we do 45 minutes a day and it was my fault because I was emoting, I was frustrated about something and later that night I said are we good? Is everything okay? I know that was pretty intense. And she said oh, 100%, we're great. Like you have nothing to worry about. Because her and I use a metaphor of did I cut any strings? We like the metaphor of the rope, but if you do cut strings, make sure you tie them back together, make sure you fix it, make sure you apologize, make sure you come back together. And a rope again. I don't know this exactly because I'm not a rope specialist.

Alan Lazaros:

But, essentially with rope, you intertwine it stronger, it comes back stronger. That's a good metaphor, I think, for relationships. So don't cut strings and do dumb shit in your relationship, and if you do, make sure you own it and tie them back together stronger, and so that's what I was trying to do. 100, I'm sorry, today is rough.

Kevin Palmieri:

No, no, all good, I'm gonna be all over the place.

Alan Lazaros:

That's okay again normally, if I'm stressed, it's not you, it's. How do I get my brain?

Kevin Palmieri:

yeah, I'm gonna ask at some point. I'm gonna ask you a question that's gonna stress you because it's gonna be really hard to get it out, but we're're going to, we're going to figure it out. Usually, I talk about pulling the string ask a question, get the answer, dissect the answer. I already know most of the answers and I think the audience probably knows many of the answers because we've pulled the string very often. What would you say? Your current, what category are you evolving in right now? We've had business evolution, self-worth evolution, like all of that stuff Leadership evolution. What season of evolution are you in right now? Transformational leadership.

Alan Lazaros:

There's a movie called Mufasa that we're now watching in Movie Club Evolve. Movie Club Emilia has it's every month. It's the first Monday of every month, I think, and I haven't missed one yet. I promised her I wouldn't, although I have been late to several of them, but I always make it. And Mufasa is the prequel to the Lion King and in that movie Mufasa's character is essentially a nobody quote unquote not from a famous bloodline, not from a not famous it's a wrong word not from a royal bloodline, and he's a stray and doesn't have a family.

Alan Lazaros:

It's a good metaphor. And he's just unbelievably capable and he's taught by. So usually the male lions are taught by the other male lions or whatever in in this world and he's taught by. So usually the male lions are taught by the other male lions or whatever in this world and he's taught by the mothers. So he has skills that other male lions don't have, because he was a peon who had to hunt with the female lions or whatever.

Alan Lazaros:

And it was a really powerful movie for me because I was raised by two women, never had a dad, birth father died at two, stepfather left at 14, never really resonated with my stepfather and I think that I have things that other men don't, but I don't fully understand them. And Mufasa keeps giving away credit all the time to his brother, who's the future king or whatever, and then there's a female in the movie. I don't want to give this away, but I kind of need to provide context that knows it's actually you. You're giving credit away to everyone else, but it's actually you and emilia and I. There's a song called tell me it's you that we're gonna do a duet on, and it was just. It's just a really powerful thing.

Kevin Palmieri:

So wait, wait. You're going to do a duet. You're going to sing it together. Yeah what? Yeah, yeah when At our wedding. Oh man, I'm excited for that. That's going to be awesome If I'm invited to this wedding, I'll save some, yeah, well.

Alan Lazaros:

And again, even that's outside my comfort zone, and here's why Because, well, you're not engaged yet. Well, just because we're not engaged doesn't mean we didn't talk about it. We already mapped all this out. A lot of people think that's really weird.

Kevin Palmieri:

Yeah, but at the end of the day, what's worse saying you're going to get married and then getting married, or saying you're going to get married and then getting divorced Most people do not have the ground to stand on to say, hey man, how dare you talk about like? You said you were going to get married too and you got divorced.

Alan Lazaros:

How dare you? Well, I want everyone to know. Listen, I'm not just presupposing this. I've talked to Amelia about our roadmap and all this stuff. But, to answer your original question, transformational leadership is courage and having the willingness and the courage to own all of who you are for whatever that is.

Alan Lazaros:

And that's definitely been really hard for me, especially with the business growth university. I'm in this collared shirt, I'm leaning back into my achiever. I feel like you and I kind of lost ourselves for a little while there. I definitely lost myself and I feel like this is the 36 year old version, headed into sort of this next chapter of being all of me at once, instead of just being fun or just being smart or just being athletic. Because I went through all these phases right. So I had. I had my childhood phase, then I had my fun phase. I was just fun, hosted all the parties. Then I had my academic phase and I did the traditional path of preschool, kindergarten, middle school, high school, college, corporate. And then I had my success phase, which was just so much money I made, paid off 84 grand worth of debt in a single year, all this money in a Vanguard account investment phase. And then I got my car accident and I had my personal development phase, and now it's all of it at once as a business man.

Kevin Palmieri:

How do you know it'll be worth it, the transformational leader part, you being all of you at once for maybe the first time it feels like it's not even a choice.

Alan Lazaros:

It feels like, in some ways, it feels like everyone will suffer if I don't, even if they don't know it particularly. So right. So Emilia and I have talked about starting a family, having children, all that stuff, and it feels a lot like I have to do this, even though I don't want to how would somebody else know?

Kevin Palmieri:

so that's something I don't have like you and I have talked about that many times like I don't, I don't roll out of bed in the morning, and maybe more than the average person.

Alan Lazaros:

I don't more than I think you think, but yeah, maybe, maybe.

Kevin Palmieri:

I just get up because the alarm goes off and I have to go to the gym. That's the conversation.

Alan Lazaros:

I have, you don't have to do anything, I do.

Kevin Palmieri:

I have to, but I know how. Does somebody else know what level of calling?

Alan Lazaros:

they have. I think everyone has. This is my thesis. Again, I've been contemplating this my entire adult life, probably my whole life, to be honest.

Alan Lazaros:

We had a moment on Movie Club where there's a book, there's a movie called Brave and there's something called Wisps and Wisps in that. Have you seen Brave? I don't think you've seen Brave. No, no, okay, no stress.

Alan Lazaros:

It's a good movie, but Wisps are these sort of things in the forest that guide you in the movie, and I think it's a metaphor for whispers, and you and I used to talk about how the whisper will eventually become a scream. So if you neglect your goals or neglect your relationship or neglect your health long enough, the whisper will eventually become a scream. Right, I think the whispers are our highest self, saying you can do more than this, you're capable of more than this. And I have a quote that I always say, which is the people who are grinding and growing toward their dreams and goals, even though it's atrociously hard, are always going to be the envy of the people sitting around doing nothing and the reason. I believe that, even though it does seem like most people romanticize having free time and you can only sip margaritas on the beach for so long before you feel purposeless.

Alan Lazaros:

And I had phases in my life where I partied and I said fuck it. And I just had aimlessness for a short time and I for me, that wasn't for me, and my highest self was saying, hey, this is not you. And I think all of us have that to some extent. I think it's probably stronger for some and this is one last piece too Physical, mental, emotional and spiritual. When you have your physical health taken care of, when you have your mental health taken care of, when you have your emotional health taken care of, I think you can feel and hear the whispers more. And the whispers in this metaphor is spiritual. And I don't want to overly do woo-woo because I'm a very practical engineer, but I do think we all have a calling and I think a lot of us have so much mud in our glass that we can't hear it.

Kevin Palmieri:

Okay, all right, I'm going gonna sit with you in this discomfort that I'm about to cause. Okay, I'm already a little red, but sure, what is it like to feel like you don't have a choice to accomplish whatever? It is? Very rarely, I don't know. I've. I've said this to you many times. I've never met someone like you. I've said that to you many times behind the scenes, very, very rarely in front of the scenes. Reasons for that? I want you all to think I did this just so you know.

Alan Lazaros:

No, no, I did for a long time. Honestly, I did for a long time what is that?

Kevin Palmieri:

what is that like I?

Alan Lazaros:

also wanted everyone to think that I know, I know it worked. It was a, it was a match made in heaven.

Kevin Palmieri:

When I when I looked at your Instagram, it was weird. I've never gone all the way back to the beginning of Instagram ever, and today it was like I'm going to do that and then we'll see what happens and maybe I'll get some context. You've only ever really posted self improvement personal development stuff, ever really posted self-improvement personal development stuff, and it is abundantly clear that in 2016 or 2015 you were decades ahead of me for sure, and it's weird how many, how many of the fundamentals you shared back then you still talk about to this day. One you stopped is if you could rub a, if you could rub a lamp and a genie came out and you could be the best at three things in the world.

Kevin Palmieri:

What would it be?

Alan Lazaros:

you haven't said that a long time yeah, because I realized no one gives a shit. That's fair.

Kevin Palmieri:

Yeah, it's what three things would you?

Alan Lazaros:

want. I still believe in that 10 out of 10.

Kevin Palmieri:

What is it like? What is it like to be somebody who doesn't have a choice, and what don't you have a choice from?

Alan Lazaros:

what is it like to feel like you don't have a choice? If you had to explain it to me, you just can't feel good about yourself. Unless you stay on the path. Okay, you don't get to be fulfilled. It's, it's, alan. You have a choice. You can either be in alignment with your highest self and reach your true potential or be wildly miserable. It's, it's and it. Obviously there's a lot in between. It's zero, it's, it's not a zero and one. It's zero to 10. So it's a spectrum. But when I asked you recently how fulfilled are you, you said a nine. So that, to me, tells me you're on the path.

Alan Lazaros:

Whatever your path is, I believe fulfillment is a by-product of being on your path to your highest self, your growth journey, the uniqueness that is Kevin I almost just called you Evan, jesus but the uniqueness that is Evan, the fulfillment and regret thing that I used to teach in group coaching before I realized no one cares, I'm joking. Regret, I think, is your highest self saying you need to not do that again, or you need to do that thing that you knew you should have done, that you didn't do. I think regret is the whisper. Every one of us has regrets. Everyone very few people admit it and even fewer admit it publicly. That has got to be the base issue of why a lot of people are lost. We aren't honest with each other about how much regret we have. I've had mentors say, dude, if you have regrets now, you're screwed. Listen, you were getting blackout drunk. This is a past mentor. I was like, dude, you were getting blackout drunk, getting in fights every other week for your entire twenties. You don't regret any of that. I think you're full of shit. Of course you regret that your, your brain is a mess now, but you just won't admit it. And and your wife is Upset that you also don't take care of yourself. And also, when he was telling me all this, he was wine drunk.

Alan Lazaros:

It's like, dude, good for you. You want to try to coach me right now? I don't want to be you. I'm not impressed with you. You want to try to coach me right now? I don't want to be you. I'm not impressed with you. You're a fucking mess and I'm not going to be, because I'm going to own the fact that I have regrets and I'm going to make changes. I'm not.

Alan Lazaros:

I'm not trying to berate myself, to be mean to myself and I think a lot of people think that I'm shaming myself and I do think there is maybe a tiny, tiny tinge of that. Okay, tiny bit, but most of it I actually think is like hey, come on, you're better than this and you knew that was a bad idea. I've who? Here again, anyone listening think of a really dumb fucking thing. You did, okay, I've got one. And afterwards I was like alan, you fucking idiot. Like I'm not trying to be mean, but you knew this was dumb. And then kevin was like dude, that was dumb, I know right, he's like obviously she was trying to sleep with you. Uh, I'm like I thought you just wanted to go to the movies. And again, this is just a funny past thing. This is long before emilia, by the way, but at the end of the day we.

Alan Lazaros:

I regretted that yeah that was short-term pleasure at the expense of long-term potential.

Kevin Palmieri:

What is it like to not be able to turn it off? I get to turn it off. I get to turn it off. I do Right, I get to you, don't? It never turns off.

Alan Lazaros:

Well, I don't think you can ever fully turn it off. So we have a flip on fireplace and I can't pretend to know how this thing works. Let's be real, it's got a knob on it, but the pilot light is that what it's called? Okay, that thing's always on. It's on right now, and we have carbon monoxide sensors to make sure that everything's good, and they chirp at you if things are not good, which is very important. But when I flip the switch, the fire goes. It's great, it's like immediate fire. It's great, huge fan, something about having a fire at night. It's so sweet. But I think yours is always on too. It's just not as. It doesn't burn as, and I think everyone's is on all the time. I think it's if you have mud in your glass, maybe. It's not as, and I don't think everyone has the same size fire. I need to make that clear. Some of us have a bonfire. Some of us have a fucking huge just burning like the sun. I and I'll share this too I really was scared I'm not even kidding when I went to therapy.

Alan Lazaros:

I was so concerned that I would lose my drive. I was. I actually told Amelia I don't want if I lose my X factor. If I lose my drive, I don't want to go to therapy. I it's my favorite part of me, my it's not anyone else's favorite part of me, but it's my, it's hers. She loves it, but it's my favorite part of me. My favorite part of me is no one will ever put in more effort than me, ever, in anything, no matter what it is.

Alan Lazaros:

Hello, hello, hello. Nlu listener, thank you, as always, for listening to Next Level University. Real quick, I just want to jump in and let you know about the Next Level Dreamliner. This is a journal that I use every single day. Achieve your dreams 90 days at a time. It breaks down your dreams into goals, milestones and daily habits. We hope you enjoy it. The link will be in the show notes. So I think we all have a fire lit. I think we don't know how to flip the switch and I think that all of us have a different size fire. I thought my fire was going to get smaller. I thought it was going to get smothered. I thought, once I healed all the trauma from my past and I accepted myself for all of who I am, and I thought I was going to lose my drive. And I told my therapist this Carol. I said I thought it was going to go away. It got fucking way bigger.

Kevin Palmieri:

Why? Why do you think it did?

Alan Lazaros:

Because I guess I guess it was always who I was, because I thought I actually used to believe the. So there's a quote that one of my favorite books for the last decade has been the Compound Effect by Darren Hardy. That's the book that I used to say favorite book of all time. As I've grown I had to change it to rationality because I think that's what people need more, but the compound effect is still in my top five. It's right behind me. Shout out to you, david, if a different David than you're thinking of Kev. But one of my clients, just listen, he's like it's the best book, damn right, it's awesome. Now, I don't necessarily think Darren is why it's so good. I think Darren's fine, but it's the concept that I think is so powerful. Okay, why am I saying all that? What were we talking about?

Kevin Palmieri:

Why do you think the fire burned brighter after therapy? That was the question.

Alan Lazaros:

Yeah, and my answer was because I guess it's it's. My answer was because I guess it's all of who I already was. Yeah, why was I talking about books?

Kevin Palmieri:

that I don't know, that I can't claim to know. It'll come back to be with tarot. If I was, if I was a real host of a real podcast and you forgot what you're, this would be. This has happened. This has happened to me. Has this happened to you? No, it's never happened to me. Has this happened to you? No, this never happens to me.

Alan Lazaros:

Oh, this Well, you're obviously I'm the myth the best interviewer.

Kevin Palmieri:

No, what happens is I just start a sentence, it's like, oh shit, oh shit, ah yes, finally it's come to me. Sometimes it's on the last word, though. Talking about books, you're talking about rationality we were talking about. We were talking about the fire, the fire burning brighter, kind of coming. What was the question again? Why do you think so? You thought going to therapy would make the fire smaller. Oh, I got it. I found it. Thank you so much.

Alan Lazaros:

I really appreciate it, of course. Uh, he, darren hardy, was a speaker I used to listen to all the time and an author that I love. He used to have this quote that he would always say your adversity. People think their adversity is why they're not successful, and I really liked this quote. 10 years ago he said your adversity is not something you have to go heal from.

Alan Lazaros:

It's something that you can use to go do extraordinary things that ordinary people cannot do he said your adversity is actually your advantage, because it gave you the emotional and mental muscles to go do extraordinary things. And I used to think that. I used to think, oh, that's why I'm so driven, because my painful childhood Nope, fucking. Not the reason, because and maybe it's part of the reason right, grit or whatever, but I guess that's just who I always was, which is just really surprising to me, because my whole life I've always wondered why and you're not really supposed to say this, but I'm just going to share this and I don't mean it in a negative way but I have spent my entire life trying to figure out why I was so different. Like you said, it's so obvious that I was so different 10,. You know however many years ago I started Instagram, I think probably 10 years ago and I've been trying to figure out the same thing. Cause why do I work so hard? I don't think I'm that.

Alan Lazaros:

There was someone on a podcast recently who literally said you are the hardest working person ever. Like you are unbelievably hardworking, and and he's like what's it like to be so hardworking? And I said I know this is probably going to sound really silly, but I actually think I'm hardworking. Because I don't think I'm hardworking. Let me rephrase that I don't wake up in the morning and go. Alan, you're so hardworking. No way, I think I'm lazy as fuck.

Kevin Palmieri:

What about? At the end of the day? Same thing.

Alan Lazaros:

Yeah, it's not. Well, let me hold the duality for a second. I do realize, intellectually, that I'm of a harder working person than most. I do realize that, but that's not how I feel. So today, dude, I have so many things I was supposed to get done that I'm not going to get to. So I don't go to bed like I crushed it today, ever. But isn't that the duality of why? One of the things that I've found it's like someone saying I'm so humble. Isn't that the duality of why? One of the things that I've found it's like someone saying I'm so humble? Well, you're obviously not, oh, I'm so hardworking. That's what I've found, Brother. The people who think they're hardworking aren't. It's fair. The people who think they're not are actually really hardworking.

Kevin Palmieri:

That's the same with self-awareness.

Alan Lazaros:

It's like oh yeah, I'm so self-aware, I'm super fucking self-aware.

Kevin Palmieri:

I think we are, so maybe we buck that.

Alan Lazaros:

I don't know.

Kevin Palmieri:

But maybe I'm also there's people laughing at me right now. I don't know.

Alan Lazaros:

Yeah, so hopefully that answers your question. But did it answer your question? Definitely not. It's always been, apparently that's always been a part of me Drive.

Kevin Palmieri:

Do you. Is there any part of you? Has there ever been a part of you that wishes you didn't have to do it?

Alan Lazaros:

for sure. When I was drinking a lot back in the day and I was partying and I was, it was escapism for a short time, I mean, it never really went out. So for me, alcohol shut turned it down. When I drink, it turns it down it the pilot light never goes out. But it's a good metaphor would be. Imagine your fire is on a dimmer and you can turn it up and down. Alcohol for me, would dial it way down and my social life was always better when I was dialed down, because nobody wants to play halo with someone who's trying to be the best on the planet unless they're one of the best, exactly unless they're trying to too yeah, but they don't like it.

Alan Lazaros:

When I mean, I remember playing and again, this will be a silly little thing, but I remember I used to play with mark and kiki back in the day and these are kids, I grew up with neighbors and I would just, I mean, I'm talking, they wouldn't get a kill, that's not fun for them. It would be like 50 to four, it would be two on one and I I would. They would barely ever kill me and they were just not good at the game. So I remember one time a mutual friend of ours, he bet me that he could kill me once in halo one it's a famous xbox game, and this was when we were little kids and he bet me 50 bucks.

Alan Lazaros:

My mom told tells the story. She told it, uh, to emilia's family last time. We were all together and she said, yeah, this random lady showed up with her kid. They went into the bedroom and played halo and then came out. They took 50 bucks out of their wallet, gave it to alan and left. And my mom said I had the biggest smile on my face because I was like there's no chance, dude this person, someone I know yes, that's awesome begins with an a I'll have to.

Alan Lazaros:

I'll have to sit on it to think about it yeah, yeah, that was, that was back in the uh, back in the day, I think I was probably 13 or something, maybe 14 remember, I remember this.

Kevin Palmieri:

I don't know if I ever played with you. There was a place in menden, oh yeah that just airport video.

Alan Lazaros:

Yeah, they just had like a bunch of tournaments.

Kevin Palmieri:

Um, I went there like one time, I think I got invited to a birthday party, so, yeah, that place was awesome. Man, this is before xbox live.

Alan Lazaros:

This is back before a lot of it. Yeah, before any of the online gaming. They put a six-year-old girl on my team once and I just had her hide in the bunker and I still won the entire tournament. They were trying to sandbag you?

Kevin Palmieri:

Yeah, they were Okay. I have a very specific question Ready, okay, many years ago you told me a lot of things that are happening. Today. I literally there's ufc. I kind of I didn't. I haven't stopped watching ufc, nor will I ever, so don't fucking get excited, but I have stopped ordering ufcs that just aren't worth 80. And you kind of predicted that. You predicted a lot of I would kind of fall out of love with a lot of the things that I loved. How did you know that was going to happen?

Alan Lazaros:

The things that you love are predicated on a certain level of consciousness. So one of the things I said to you years and years and years and years ago, probably eight years ago. So my one of my heroes was Tony Robbins at the time and again, hero, I say loosely he was someone that I and I always ask this question to everybody with their dreams who is the closest to your dream? I think it's good to look at something in the real life that was done and then you can reverse, engineer what they did, assuming you can actually figure out what they really did versus you know what they show or talk about. So mine was Tony Robbins. He was having a very big impact at that time and yours was Joe Rogan, who also has had a huge impact for better or for worse. And you said you know, I want to go on Joe Rogan one day. And first of all, I said by the time you can go on Joe Rogan, he's not going to be podcasting anymore because the dude's old right. But what I also said to you in the more meaningful part, rather than me just joking, is I said by the time you are the type of man who would get invited to be on Joe Rogan. You actually won't want to go and that actually happened. You didn't get invited. Yeah, no, I didn't get invited. You actually happened pretty early. You didn't get invited yeah, no, I didn't get invited. You didn't get invited, but you already are there, jokes on him and I'm sure he's very upset that he can't have kevin paul marriott, same. But ultimately the reason I knew that that would happen.

Alan Lazaros:

To answer your original question is it's just not come. It's not, uh, it's not in alignment with your level of consciousness. So, assuming you don't fake, lie, steal, cheat and you actually are authentic and integrous, you can only achieve a certain thing based on a certain level of consciousness. And to break down consciousness real quick, it's your deeper understanding and distinctions. So you know how to build a podcast like this because you've done it and by the time you know more, by the time you know enough and have the awareness and skills and mindset to achieve your dream. Some of those dreams you won't even want anymore. It's just like me At one point I wanted to be a fitness model on a Litterata cover.

Alan Lazaros:

I don't want that shit anymore. That's just a naive, stupid younger thing. But here's the paradox my vision board, my very first vision board. It was all just on a whiteboard written out goals. It was all numbers based. You know, ted talk, this 1 million listen, 1 million views on a TED talk, at least 1 million plus. Okay, that's just one Boom, boom, boom. I want to meet this person, meet this person, meet this person.

Kevin Palmieri:

The interesting thing about goals and dreams is that by the time you become the person who actually can achieve that dream, you actually don't want half of them anymore.

Alan Lazaros:

How many would you say that were on there that you no longer want? At least a third, at least At least a third. I think I've achieved about a third. I think there's a third I still want and I think there's a third where I would never. I mean, at this point I would never do that the Lyrotica one would be the one I would never do?

Kevin Palmieri:

Yeah makes sense, Would that? Would you think it would be the same breakdown if you did the same thing today? Would it still be a third, a third, a third, or would you be more accurate?

Alan Lazaros:

I think I'd be more accurate. I think it'd probably be a little bit of better percentages than that. I think it'd probably be 10%. I don't want, you know, 40% I end up achieving within a decade, and then the other 40, the other 50% would be still in the works. One of the things that I think is an opportunity right now, because you've gone so deep on this. I always say this there's a great Jim Rohn quote where he says you don't want to.

Alan Lazaros:

There's two things that I think matter most. One is intelligence, also known as consciousness, and the second one is momentum. If you have momentum but you have low intelligence, you're going to drive off a cliff really fast. So to me, you have to be intelligent. You have to be making intelligent choices, first, based on accurate beliefs about yourself, others in the world, and then momentum is what matters, because momentum doesn't matter if you're heading in a terrible direction, like if I'm heading in a bad direction, back in my nihilistic days, my hopeless, hopeless days and again I'm making it sound like I was there for a decade it was only a short time, but it was definitely not good and drugs, alcohol, just exploring and just saying fuck it. Well, you know what Screw it. I'm just going to have fun and I smoke cigarettes. When I drank sometimes I never bought a pack, but it was just stupid. What a stupid time for me just exploring dumb. I know a lot of people have that phase you got to get out of your system. Just don't.

Kevin Palmieri:

Don't make any permanent damage I only, I only smoke when I drink. It's like well, you're drinking three nights a week, so I think you're probably considered a I said that dumb shit.

Alan Lazaros:

Yeah, I only smoke when I drink. Well, you are drinking three times a week.

Kevin Palmieri:

You're an alcoholic, so it's like, well, I never bought a pack, though. Yeah, exactly.

Alan Lazaros:

You're an alcoholic, so Well. So intelligence number one, consciousness, and number two would be momentum, because if you make good choices and you have accurate beliefs and you're in alignment with your highest self and you have momentum, I mean, what you can achieve is unbelievable. Is there anything you wish I would have asked you when we were digging deep?

Kevin Palmieri:

Not really, I don't think it's always a hard question. Nothing jumps off.

Alan Lazaros:

Yeah, it's hard. I feel like I what'd you say? Hard question to answer often, yeah, no, I feel like it was really good. Yeah, if there was something I had to add, it would be what. If I had to come up with a question that I would want you to ask, it would be yeah, it would be about optimization. I had some Okay, there's a guy on this podcast earlier I'm not going to name any names, I'm not a huge fan, he was you.

Alan Lazaros:

You know him too and he's not a bad dude by any means, but he's definitely not my cup of tea and I do think he was insecure and he threw a few daggers. I mean, he opened the episode with, just so, those of you on camera, alan does look 12. It's like come on, man, like that's my joke, right, I fucking say it. You don't say it, I'm kidding, but, uh, just not a huge fan. He was just kind of ribbing me a bit and it was just all right.

Alan Lazaros:

Here we go, uh. But he said this and this is probably should have been my tell before we hit record the guy goes, okay, so I saw that your thing was about optimization and such and such and such well that that sounds boring as shit and I was like, okay, way to shit on my whole thing. So what I would hope and he's also probably accurate in that my PC is about to die, so we're going to have to go in a second but what I would hope you ask me about is optimization. What is it and why does it matter?

Kevin Palmieri:

There's a reason I didn't, because I wanted to go deep. That's why I didn't. I was thinking to myself like what would I want to ask, alan, if the audience didn't know you? That's what I would have asked you, oh, nice, but since the audience knows you, it's like no, no, I want them to know you more. Okay, we have six other episodes this this week we can do on optimization. This is the one that we're not going to do it on.

Alan Lazaros:

Well, the only thing that I would say about that is if I ask I think, the most important question anyone can ask at a given moment, one of the most important questions I don't know if I can say the most what are you optimizing for? Like, right now, I'm optimizing to be a transformational leader, and even if I never told anyone that that is what I'm trying to get better at, that means I have to get better at sales. That means I have to get better at business. Everything else is underneath that. So most people, if you ask, what are you optimizing for? Well, dinner tonight, well, that's not exactly going to create a magnificent life. Trust me, I want great dinner too. But what are you optimizing for in the future? Like, what are you optimizing for in the future? Like, what are you optimizing for on the macro, what are you playing this game for, this game we call life? What are you uniquely optimizing for in the long run?

Alan Lazaros:

Because there was a time in my life when I was optimizing for fun and that brought a lot of nonsense that I don't think was very healthy for me. So I think that's a good question. Cool, what's for dinner? Uh, dude, emilia, so she got these sausage links. They're actually vegan sausage links with great stats, so they're not super tasty, but they're still sausage links. So let's, let's go. Yeah, okay, we're gonna have tater tots, obviously, tenders and chicken nuggets. I mean it's gonna be awesome oh my goodness, air fryer.

Kevin Palmieri:

Nice Big kid dinner tonight? Not really, no, like big kid, oh yeah 100%, just large child Finger food.

Alan Lazaros:

Yeah, yeah, finger food, I love that. Great stats, how's?

Kevin Palmieri:

the diet been.

Alan Lazaros:

Exercise has been better than diet. I'm at about 200, and I'm going to. It's been. The macros are good, I'm eating really, really healthy, and but I mean too many calories.

Kevin Palmieri:

We. Last thing before we go, quick story we were in. Oh my goodness, where were we? I think we were in Colorado. I'll never forget we were taking a long left turn at a at a traffic light. We went to Colorado for an event. I made a joke to the, to the person at the at the rental. I was like you got any mercedes for us? Like, come on, upgrade us. Okay, I got you. Okay, that was cool, that worked awesome. That dude loved us, loves us. Oh, you guys podcasters, what is it all about? It's like I really hope you listen, but I'm telling you. I'm like oh for 70 on people asking me and then me telling them like nobody ever does. But we, I remember saying, oh, you've been doing mobility lately. And Alan's like, yeah, man, I've been doing mobility all the time and I was like why do you feel so tight?

Kevin Palmieri:

And it was something. And he was like oh, mobility, mobility. No, I haven't been doing that shit at all. So that's why I asked, that's why I asked the diet. What did I say? I've been foam rolling or something.

Kevin Palmieri:

Yeah, not at all All right, I know your laptop's going to die. Yeah, man. Next Level Nation private Facebook group for like-minded humans who are into personal development and book club every single Saturday, 1230 pm Eastern Time. You're reading Reset. Reset by Chip Heath, dan Heath, dan Heath, dan Heath. I get him confused, I'm sorry, chip. All right, as always. We love you, we appreciate you, grateful for each and every one of you, and at NLU we don't have fans, we have family.

Alan Lazaros:

We will talk to you all tomorrow Keep it next level, next level nation.

Kevin Palmieri:

Thanks for joining us for another episode of Next Level University. We love connecting with the Next Level family.

Alan Lazaros:

We mean it when we say family. If you ever need anything, please reach out to us directly. Everything you need to get a hold of us is in the show notes.

Kevin Palmieri:

Thank you again and we will talk to you tomorrow.

People on this episode

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Alan Lazaros

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Kevin Palmieri

Host