Next Level University

The Things That Used To “Keep You Safe” Are Now Holding You Back (2074)

• Kevin Palmieri and Alan Lazaros

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In this episode of Next Level University, hosts Kevin Palmieri and Alan Lazaros unpack how old fears, emotional wounds, and outdated coping strategies quietly shape our present-day choices. From being “too much” to feeling “not enough,” they share raw personal stories about shame, insecurity, and what it really takes to grow beyond your comfort zone.

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https://calendly.com/kevinpalmieri/free-30-minute-podcast-breakthrough-session-with-kevin

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NLU is not just a podcast; it’s a gateway to a wealth of resources designed to help you achieve your goals and dreams. From our Next Level Dreamliner to our Group Coaching, we offer a variety of tools and communities to support your personal development journey.

For more information, please check out our website at the link below. 👇

Website 💻  http://www.nextleveluniverse.com

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We love connecting with you guys! Reach out on Instagram, Facebook, or via email. We’re here to support you in your personal and professional development journey.

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Alan: https://www.instagram.com/alazaros88/

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Kevin: https://www.facebook.com/kevin.palmieri.90/

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Alan@nextleveluniverse.com

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Kevin: https://www.linkedin.com/in/kevin-palmieri-5b7736160/
Alan: https://www.linkedin.com/in/alanlazarosllc/

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Show notes:
(2:34) When safety becomes self-sabotage
(4:11) The hidden cost of success
(7:43) Old habits that limit growth
(13:37) The habit that builds confidence
(16:24) Intellect Vs. Emotional truth
(18:31) Next Level Dreamliner: The planner, agenda, journal, and habit tracker to rule them all. Get a copy: https://a.co/d/9fPpxEt
(21:26) Do you actually know enough?
(24:43) From feeling defective to empowered
(32:23) Insecurity is holding you back
(34:10) Outro

Send a text to Kevin and Alan!

Kevin Palmieri:

I had a massive breakthrough on group coaching today because we were talking to somebody about coaching and I said isn't it wild how you really can't get to the stage where you can help other people until you help yourself get through the thing you're trying to help them with? And that was a massive breakthrough for me because I think one of the reasons the inner self-work is so important is because you're essentially always competing with the stuff that used to scare you in the past and it's affecting you today more than you realize.

Alan Lazaros:

We are all afraid of failure or success, and we're all stuck in this little comfort zone. We don't want to be a failure in the eyes of our peers, but we also don't want to be so successful that we get ostracized from them.

Kevin Palmieri:

Welcome to Next Level University. I'm your host, kevin Palmieri, and I'm your co-host, alan Lazarus. At NLU, we believe in a heart-driven but no BS approach to holistic self-improvement for dream chasers.

Alan Lazaros:

Our goal with every episode is to help you level up your life, love, health and wealth.

Kevin Palmieri:

We bring you a new episode every single day on topics like confidence, self-belief, self-worth, self-awareness, relationships, boundaries, consistency, habits and defining your own unique version of success.

Alan Lazaros:

Self-improvement in your pocket, every day, from anywhere, completely free.

Kevin Palmieri:

Welcome to Next Level University From anywhere, completely free. Welcome to Next Level University, next Level Nation. Today for episode number 2000,. And I think I messed up the number 74.

Kevin Palmieri:

The things that used to and this is in quotes keep you safe are now holding you back. We had a wonderful connection session for group coaching, and a connection session is different. We don't come with anything. People ask questions and we dive into answers and it's this beautiful back and forth and just kind of a yeah, it's kind of a freestyle, which is wonderful.

Kevin Palmieri:

And what we realized was there's somebody in the group that wants to be more successful and they want to have their own little coaching thing. And the reason they're struggling with this coaching thing is because they haven't worked through the stuff that they're going to help other people with yet. They're helping people with self-awareness, self-belief, self-worth, understanding themselves and connecting how understanding yourself affects everything in your life. But they have yet and I love this person, so I'm not saying this in a negative way and if you're listening, I love you they haven't figured that part out about themselves yet which is stopping them from growing to the stage that they need to.

Kevin Palmieri:

Things that we were forced to do to quote, unquote survive in the past are now the things that are stopping us from thriving, and this is why the work is so important, because it's not going to circumstantially change, if anything. If you have a fear of success, success is going to make the fear of success worse until you figure out where it comes from, just like on my end. If you have the fear of failure, success is not going to fix that. That just raises the stakes to create a potentially higher failure. So the things that used to quote unquote keep us safe maybe playing small or having an ego are now holding us back from becoming the authentic versions of us, which is stopping us from being the people that we actually want to be.

Alan Lazaros:

I'm trying to think of tangible examples of things that used to keep us quote-unquote safe, but now they're holding us back. I was on a podcast earlier and we talked about the metaphorical mountain Of the infinite game of reaching your potential. You never really get there. You keep climbing to the next level, next level, next level, next level, next level, but you never actually get to the top of the mountain. There is no end to reaching your full potential.

Alan Lazaros:

And what did she ask me? She asked me about the fear of failure, about the fear of success. Which one I was more afraid of? I said success for sure. Oh, she said does it get easier as you climb? Does it get easier? And I kind of chuckled, not in a negative way, not at her, but under my breath, just because I was so excited for the question.

Alan Lazaros:

I said tongue in cheek I think the world's biggest lie is that success makes life easier. The reason why is because the stakes are now higher. So if you're afraid of failure to Kevin's point now you have farther to fall. People perceive you as amazing now if you are successful quote unquote, but now you have farther to fall. People perceive you as amazing now if you are successful quote unquote. But now you have farther to fall If you're afraid of success.

Alan Lazaros:

Obviously being more successful makes that even harder, and so I was trying to think to myself where do these fears come from? Where do these insecurities come from? I'm going to use a metaphor. If you're on the basketball court and you're the best player on the court, but you have a friend who's a bully, who's insecure about you shining, he's going to get mad at you or she when you don't pass them the ball. So you're going to get social pain associated with being the best on the court. If you're terrible and you cause the team to lose the game, you might get bullied and shit on for that too. And I think a lot of our stuff growing up just comes down to whatever you were shit on for. Were you shit on for not being enough? Were you shit on for being too much? Were you shit on being different, for being different, being that's gotta be. I'm trying to figure out, too, the whole real world, social world thing I'm. I think the majority of our bottlenecks come down to whatever caused us the most pain in the past.

Kevin Palmieri:

For sure it makes sense. Imagine if all of the pain you had when you were younger was being different. Now, today, you're convinced that you have to fit in with everybody, but that's stopping you from being you. That cycle just will continue to happen and it will perpetuate and perpetuate and perpetuate because you feel it's. It's like um the they have the quote the devil you know is better than the devil you don't. That we could say the pain that you know is better than the pain that you don't. Whatever.

Kevin Palmieri:

It's almost like it's more comfortable staying safe and not risking any pain than it is getting all the pleasure of being whatever it is, of doing the thing that you want to do so deeply, because if you've never experienced it, you don't know how good it actually feels. You know how bad it feels in the opposite direction. You don't know how good it feels in the direction you want to move in. And I think, until you do it but that's the problem is the first time you, the first time you go against what used to keep you safe. It might go wrong, but if you never do it, you'll never develop the skills to actually face that and you're always going to be stuck in this cage for the rest of your life and nobody wants to live there. You have to have a moment of of courage.

Kevin Palmieri:

Same, I was thinking of what's a what's a concrete example of this. I was on today with two clients and one of these clients unfortunately had some circumstances where their job is letting them go and they have to go find another job and they're like I don't know if I'm going to do this podcast thing anymore and I was like okay, what do you want this meeting to be? Do you want me to give you five reasons you should continue? Do you want me to take it out back with you and shoot it? What do you want what? And that's actually what I said.

Kevin Palmieri:

I have a very good relationship with these clients. What do you actually want to happen here? Old kevin, the thing that kept me safe for a long time was just saving people like well, no, we'll lower the price and I'll do all the work myself, so you can keep doing this, because I know how much it means to you. That can get you to a certain point and that got us a lot of clients. And that got us a lot of clients and it kept us a lot of clients and I built really good relationships with awesome people.

Alan Lazaros:

That's holding us back now. Yeah, in the beginning that's actually necessary, because people don't know you and you don't have, and you have free time. Yes, there's no more free time left. We can't do that anymore.

Kevin Palmieri:

And can't do that anymore. Yeah, and that's a con. That's somewhat of a concrete example. I think the other thing is, if you're somebody who's really good at stuff and you when you were younger every time you shined you got villainized. Now your success is reliant upon you shining, and if you don't shine, people aren't going to know how good you are at the thing, and that's a whole nother. So any any real quick. Sorry, I'm fired up tonight. I'm also cooked like I have not eaten all day. I exercised at 6 30 and I haven't eaten. It's seven, it's eight o'clock in the evening, I haven't eaten. Not good, not good for bodybuilding, terrible idea good, but for some reason it's yeah, it's good for burning muscle

Kevin Palmieri:

maybe I was going to say something that I kind of forgot, but this was what it was. What I got you Kind of forgot the opposite to Alan's point, the opposite direction of what kept you safe is probably now going to help you thrive, is probably now going to help you thrive. You've evolved, you've grown. Those people that you had to stay safe from their judgment, their anger, whatever it is hopefully aren't in the picture to the degree they once were and hopefully they don't have control over you like they once did. I hope I'm not saying unfortunately that's not the case for everybody, but huge breakthrough.

Alan Lazaros:

Yeah, and I want to hear I'm going to ask you a question after this Okay, which is what caused you the most pain growing up? That now might be holding you back? I, I don't know if it's the most pain, but it's a lot. Challenging other people's thinking caused me a lot of pain growing up and that's now what I do for a living as a business coach. I'm a supportive business coach on one side of the coin and on the other side of the coin, I have to challenge your unintelligent decision making. I have to challenge people's thinking. I have to get them to think differently. This podcast, same deal. I have to challenge people's thinking. I have to get them to think differently. This podcast, same deal. That makes a lot of sense.

Alan Lazaros:

Why certain speeches or podcast episodes or group coaching sessions are so hard for me? Because in the past, when I challenged certain people from my past thinking I would be treated very, very, very poorly and the irrationality of some of the people growing up. I would challenge it and I would try to say that's probably not a great idea and don't you think this, Don't you think this? And it would a lot of times. It would hurt my relationships and it would also hurt me. I'd be attacked or villainized or hurt in some way. So, growing up, the number one thing that probably caused me the most pain was challenging other people's thinking. And now, paradoxically, that's what I do for a living, which I do think is why I've had to grow so much in social courage and vulnerability, Because for me it's very vulnerable to challenge people's thinking, but I need to do it if I'm going to be a great leader and a great coach. I have to. So for you, what was yours? But I hope that's a good metaphor for everybody.

Kevin Palmieri:

I think it is Not being smart enough. I really think that was mine and strangely, although I had a lot of friends, I think there was always a piece of me that felt alone. Even like when I was around people, I always felt kind of alone, always.

Alan Lazaros:

So one not feeling smart enough. So mine was challenging people's thinking and yours was not feeling smart enough. There's got to be something there.

Kevin Palmieri:

It's fascinating, I would say. One of the most constructive things that has happened is I just admit that I'm not smart enough that and you admit that when you challenge some people's thinking, they're going to villainize you yeah I'm grateful you didn't.

Alan Lazaros:

You have in the past at times, but never, never, really. I put you down this. There's something I came at you with for lack of better phrasing not long ago and I thought that was going to be going. I thought that was going to go horribly wrong oh, it's terrible.

Kevin Palmieri:

Yeah, it wasn't fun way better than I thought.

Alan Lazaros:

Well people have you people many people have come to me and talked to me about how much Kevin's grown since then. No, but I've gotten a triangle of feedback that is whoa, kevin's on fire. Well, I came at him with some shit and he rose to the fucking occasion.

Kevin Palmieri:

It's. I think it's hard to get feedback about you that you are already insecure about, but again, I think the insecurity piece. I was on a podcast recently and they were talking about fear chasing. It was about building mental resilience and I said it like seven times and I said I'm going to sound like a broken record. I know you got to do something every day that scares you and they're like is that the habit you'd recommend?

Kevin Palmieri:

yes, that is the fucking habit every day, just do a little something. Just a little something, nothing crazy. I'm not bungee jumping. Every day, do a little something scary, that's it what'd you do today that was scary.

Alan Lazaros:

I haggled a car deal which was fucking terrible, as we all do at some point it the day. It was absolutely terrible hey good for you. You feel good about yourself, though?

Kevin Palmieri:

No, no, because I could have done better. I could have done better.

Alan Lazaros:

That's the problem.

Kevin Palmieri:

Yeah, but you did better than you've done in the past 100%. Last time I got fucking gouged. Yeah, you did, I got gouged. Last time I didn't even. No, I told Taryn. I said I know so much about car dealerships. I spent three hours yesterday chat GPTing Nice Base factor, like how they do APR and leases, like oh.

Alan Lazaros:

I know enough to be-.

Kevin Palmieri:

Power, baby Potential, for sure, if you don't have courage. If I could have been in there tucking tail today, it's like okay, Turns out you did. You said I could have done better, I could have done better, could have done better, could have done better, and we'll save that for another episode. I did not get a new car because we're balling out of control and we just need to spend all our money. We're actually saving money, so this was a very, very strategic short-term and long-term play.

Kevin Palmieri:

Nobody else is going to tell you that Everybody else is going to get a new car and they're going to try to ball out of control with it. We're actually saving money. So that's the reason we did this. You know it. I try to admit that in certain things I am not smart enough. Yet Does not mean I can't get smarter, does not mean I have a fixed mindset. That. And then I take pride now in kind of feeling alone at times Because I thought loneliness oh yeah, this is it, this is deep. I thought in the past loneliness equaled failure. Now I feel like loneliness equals success.

Kevin Palmieri:

And that's, and I don't feel truly.

Alan Lazaros:

You said feel, you didn't say think I feel One of the big things that needs to be shared here. Can I add real quick before you go, absolutely you fucking cut me off you cut me off mid.

Kevin Palmieri:

I need to make sure I don't actually feel alone, because I'm married and I have a great business partner and a team. So it's not like and you know great, a very small group of friends, but the people in my life are really good, so I don't want it to get cut off there. It's like, yeah, I'm fucking lonely all the time, just just me, and the podcast.

Alan Lazaros:

That's all I got.

Kevin Palmieri:

Yeah, that's it when this ends, I just sit here until we record next time, just in the dark by himself, by himself in his new bmw.

Alan Lazaros:

Yes, all right. What the hell was I gonna say though?

Kevin Palmieri:

you're gonna say something about something that needs to be said nice, that's it, I know.

Alan Lazaros:

Hold on, hold on something that needs to be said it was like yes nice.

Alan Lazaros:

Intellectual thinking versus feeling, oh yeah yeah. What I've come to understand about myself and others is that you can intellectually understand something without overcoming it emotionally. I can intellectually understand that. I'm not saying anything offensive to anybody on this podcast right now but there are certain times, after a group coaching session, for example, where I feel very vulnerable about what I shared, even though intellectually I know I did nothing but try to help people and most likely everything's fine. Emotionally it doesn't feel fine and I think that that's the hard part. How do you know when you're rational and how do you know when you're irrational?

Alan Lazaros:

And we had a three-person group coaching experience review right after the group coaching session with me, you and Amy. For those of you who don't know Amy, Amy Lenias, she's the assistant coach for group coaching. We were talking feedback. Was that too much? Was that off? What do you think I'm trying to figure out where? How do you know when to get better, when you're filtering everything through an insecurity that is so fucking difficult? And the feedback you get from other people is filtered through their insecurities, Because Kev will say something that Amy and I think sounds arrogant, and then I'll say something that I don't think sounds arrogant at all and Kev will be like well, other people are going to think that that's arrogant. It's all filtered through our own core wound, our own insecurity. That has got to be one of the biggest challenges that human beings face is all the feedback you get is predicated on the other person's belief system and insecurities. It's only a percentage accurate.

Kevin Palmieri:

Yeah. It's really only a percentage accurate.

Alan Lazaros:

Hello, hello, hello. Nlu listener. Thank you, as always, for listening to Next Level University. Real quick. I just want to jump in and let you know about the Next Level Dreamliner. This is a journal that I use every single day. Achieve your dreams 90 days at a time. It breaks down your dreams into goals, milestones and daily habits. We hope you enjoy it. The link will be in the show notes.

Kevin Palmieri:

Well, okay, when you get off, something is what you think different than what you feel.

Alan Lazaros:

Yes, Always, always, I felt, I thought, I thought that was really valuable. I know that was really valuable. I don't even think it, I'm certain, but it feels. Was I too much? Did I reveal too much? Okay, we recorded it. Will the other members understand that? Did I set the stage? Well, are they going to hate me? And again, none of that's rational, but that's what our brain does. I think all of us have one of two really big insecurities. I think we're either insecure socially or insecure competence-wise. You're afraid to not be smart enough. I don't have that at all, brother, and even me saying that you know what I do have a fear of Saying it.

Kevin Palmieri:

Yeah, well that's, I don't have that at all.

Alan Lazaros:

Dude, let me, I'm gonna For anyone out there watching or listening, I'm gonna bring you into my brain for a second. My brain said not at fucking all, not even a little bit. If anything, I'm afraid to be too much smarter than other people. You know what. I'm really afraid of Saying it. You're not allowed to say that Socially. What a dingus. It's not safe to say that I'm smarter than you. I am, and I know it and you know it and everyone else fucking knows it, but you're not allowed to say it Socially. That is completely. What I just said is so vulnerable that feels terrible. What I just said, even even though intellectually it's definitely accurate. But that doesn't matter. People don't care about accuracy, they care about feelings and it's like oh, you think kevin's dumb, that's not what I said. Yeah, right, I can hear the thoughts of people oh, wow, what a, what an asshole.

Kevin Palmieri:

Yeah but that's the hard thing, is like well, if I'm okay with it, everybody else has to be too, or? Everybody else If they're insecure about their intelligence.

Alan Lazaros:

They're going to think I'm shitting on you.

Kevin Palmieri:

And I would say I completely understand, because I was once, and still am, somewhat insecure about my intelligence. But there's a big difference between an insecurity and a work in progress. And a work in progress is an effort. It requires effort, it requires courage, it requires doing the hard work and being afraid and potentially failing. And insecurity is just something you're insecure about and it's never going to be a work in progress until you start.

Kevin Palmieri:

And here this is like the this is the hard question to ask. If you, if you really sat down like, seriously, let's fucking do this, let's sit down and say, okay, do I actually know everything I need to to actually get to the level of success I want? If not, I'm not saying you're stupid, I'm not saying you're dumb, I'm not saying you're, you're not intelligent. You just don't know enough to get to where you want to get to. Yet, and that's fine. What's wrong with that? There's nothing wrong with that. Do we have negative relationships with that? A hundred percent. I think that the relationship gets even more negative if you don't believe you're capable of getting that information to stick within your brain. And that's where I was. So if I was going to villainize, it was going to be because I didn't think I could grow Did you have pain around not being smart enough, Like did you feel For?

Kevin Palmieri:

sure, I always I say this all the time on podcasts, I don't know if this was your experience I always felt like the. I felt worthless. I think that's the best way. Growing up without a dad, all of my friends' families tried to semi-adopt me Come over, have dinner with us, you can sleep over, you can come on vacation with us, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.

Kevin Palmieri:

And it was always like, oh, there's something wrong with me, isn't there? Why does everybody treat me so different? I can see it's not bad, that's, all things considered, that's a positive thing to get. But I, it was always like why does everybody treat me like I'm damaged and what is that about? And then now in retrospect, like, oh, they were trying to save me from what seemed like a very not normal life, which maybe it wasn't, definitely wasn't. But neither were theirs, neither were theirs.

Kevin Palmieri:

Dude, I've never like was my childhood normal and that I grow up in a normal nuclear family. No, I have never, never seen my mother take a drink of alcohol ever, not a single time ever in my entire life. A lot of the people I grew up with their parents were low key and or high key alcoholics. And again, everybody's going through their own shit, whatever, but I'm just saying my childhood wasn't that. It was weird and traumatic in other ways, but it wasn't that way. I was never physically abused. I was never verbally abused. That never happened. I think my mom smacked me one time because I think I called her a bitch, so I was deserved. Oh my God.

Alan Lazaros:

Yeah.

Kevin Palmieri:

Whatever, she cut my rat tail off because I swore at her. She put soap in my mouth one time because I swore at her, but she said don't swear or I'm going to cut your rat tail off. Do it bitch. Boom Gone Fucking rat tail. Years growing that out in retrospect. She did me a favor because you know. And then she said if you keep swearing, I'm gonna put soap in your mouth. You wouldn't, you wouldn't dare. She did not even a soap dare bitch. I think so. Not think it was. I think it was feeling, broken feeling defective.

Kevin Palmieri:

I think that's the best word I felt defective, I it's. I wasn't not smart. We always joke about how I'm really good at mental math. Alan, I beat everybody in the times tables. Good fucking luck, you come at me. Good luck. Up to 12 times 12 bulletproof. Nobody could be 144. Nobody could beat me eight times seven, 56, seven times seven, 49, seven times four, 28, 11 times 444.

Alan Lazaros:

No, it was like me, Did you struggle to get? Here's the thing too, and I think, and I know we gotta jump.

Kevin Palmieri:

Also, I know it's not a flex to know basic math, so just give me a break on that. Let me feel myself for a minute. That's great, that's awesome. Alan has bedtime, so we have to get off here soon.

Alan Lazaros:

Oh, for fuck's sake, man, at the end of the day I have too many questions to ask and not enough time to ask. Yeah, there's certain things that were just really hard for us, certain things that really weren't. I always felt like if I wanted to get good grades, I I could just go do it. But I remember in track and field I didn't hit puberty yet and I could not fucking compete. It was brutal, it was terrible. So we all have to go back and figure out what caused us massive emotional pain. I think emotional pain is what we should hone in on here. Physical pain too, but physically being bullied happened, but it was the emotional pain afterwards of worthlessness and the feelings that come with it that I think really fuck with us. And I have been Excuse me, I have been working in therapy now for it is, it is very powerful. I don't even know if I fully get how it works so well, but you, you totally. You're just not that insecure anymore. I again the group coaching session. After it, I felt insecure. Was I too much? My insecurity is being too much, too intelligent, too intense.

Alan Lazaros:

The podcaster I was on earlier. Her name was Cheryl. She said you're one word, the word that comes up for me tenacity, unbelievable. I was like thank you so much. I feel so seen right now. She said you got so much in there. Oh my God, fuck yeah. And she I was like most people think that's a bad thing. She's like really, oh no, that's really good. You got to dial that up on this podcast. I was like no-transcript, all of this comes down. I just showed that off on purpose, by the way, okay, I'm not actually triggered or mad. I just need people to understand. The whole world's going to tell you too much, too little, too smart, not smart enough, too short, too ugly, too too much, too big a butt too small, a butt too skinny too Fuck all that man.

Kevin Palmieri:

Oh, it's so annoying somebody reached out to me the other day. They said, hey, can I ask you a question? And I said yeah. They said how do you, how do you get over an insecurity that you just can't change? And I was like, can you give me context to what it is? Just because it helps, I don't. If not, it's totally fine, but if you feel comfortable, please do.

Kevin Palmieri:

This person said I have, I have, I think it was like wide set, the way my bone structure is. I'm just not, I'm not never going to have the hourglass, right, I'm never going to have the hourglass. And I said one. I think you mourn the loss of the love of certain people just immediately, cause there are some people that you're just not their cup of tea and that you're never going to be and you're never going to get attention and you're never going to get significance from them and you're never going to be enough for them. That's one. And then part two you, you figure out how you feel about that and then you sit with that and realize this is never going to change. So the only thing that can change is your relationship with it. And the reason that this person asked me is because the whole being short thing. I'm not excited about it.

Alan Lazaros:

No no no being short, as a man sucked Before I hit puberty, it was terrible. Yeah, I'm 6'2 now. It's way better. It's not great. Yeah, no it's not, but it's not great.

Kevin Palmieri:

I don't get the same level. I'm in good shape, so it helps, and that's one of the reasons I probably am, but I don't get the same level of respect from men. I don't get the same level of respect from women.

Alan Lazaros:

Yeah, for sure it's an unfortunate primal thing. It is what it is. What am I going to do?

Kevin Palmieri:

Are you?

Alan Lazaros:

doing all you can with all you have and what's your relationship with it?

Kevin Palmieri:

That's try it see.

Alan Lazaros:

Try what's seven vowel amongst friends yeah, yeah, so you're next level lesson. No, next level lesson. What's your relation, dude? I used to be insecure about a lot of things. You, you can totally overcome insecurities. 100 never fully, they'll always be there, but you can. They get.

Kevin Palmieri:

So much better you can make. You can make better friends with them.

Alan Lazaros:

Yeah, you can. You can lessen, you can. What's my? What's an insecurity? I'm really tall. I used to be really tall and lanky, Super lanky. I still, when I get too lean, I still feel a little tall and lanky, but it's way better than it used to be.

Kevin Palmieri:

I remember one time you were like yeah, dude, I'm really insecure about my nose and I was like what are you talking about? What do you mean? Like I broke my nose, a little crooked Like, okay, what? I've never noticed that I looked at you for thousands of hours, an uncomfortable amount of time, never noticed.

Alan Lazaros:

Thousands of hours, an uncomfortable amount of time Never noticed, lost my symmetry, never noticed.

Alan Lazaros:

Yeah, dude, that used to bother me a ton, I know A ton. It doesn't bother me at all anymore. I never even think about it anymore. And again, it was a traumatic incident. I broke it bad. It was on the other side of my face during graduation, my master's program or no, bachelor's. That was not only physically painful but emotionally painful. I had a graduation party with my nose on the other side of my face, all the pictures. But at the end of the day you can heal from that stuff. You really can. It doesn't affect me. I would say not never, but it would one 100th of what it used to exposure therapy little by little.

Kevin Palmieri:

One of the best things about having a podcast that is so often and is on video is I don't even really see myself anymore. I don't like I started doing my hair again because again I feel like I feel better about myself when I feel like I look good, but like when I I've had a rash on my face I've got the strongest stuff possible. Now it's going away, but like that was a long time of me thinking is this person gonna think I have some sort of skin condition or it's it's contagious or whatever like that's. But we've been on video so so often. When people say like hey, can we take a picture, I never. I don't even think twice about it anymore.

Kevin Palmieri:

I was at the car dealership today and I was haggling and they're like all right, cool, uh, yeah, just, will you give the guy a five-star review? It's like deal 100 pulled out my camera. John, get in the fucking picture. I'm gonna leave a five-star review. Let's take a picture. Didn't even think of it because that's normal now. So eventually weird things can become normal, just like. Just like when you younger. Things that become normal aren't good for you. I think as you get older and you evolve and you work through this shit. The things that become normal are really good for you and they're really good for your growth, and that would be my next level goals.

Alan Lazaros:

It's so Insecurity holds everyone back To what extent is a different story, but identifying your insecurities and having the courage to overcome them has got to be one of the absolute fundamentals for success.

Kevin Palmieri:

All right, next up the Nation. One of the other fundamentals for success is community. You have heard us talk about this time in and time out. We talk about it all the time over this 2000 and whatever 75 episodes. If you're looking for a group of like-minded people who are into growth, into conversations like this, it's not weird to talk about this shit in our Facebook group, next Level Nation. We'll have the link below. We'd love to have you there. If you're feeling lonely in your journey, you don't have to be. I think you can make a choice. You can make a choice to be courageous and join the group. We'd love to have you.

Alan Lazaros:

Book Club Boom Reset by Dan Heath Next level books with next level people. Book Club is a private setting every single Saturday at 1230 pm Eastern Standard Time. If you want more accountability to read books, we have wait for it. We have Drum roll. Please Hold on hold on hold on hold on Drum roll.

Kevin Palmieri:

Please Come on, come on Long drum roll, very long drum roll. The longest you've ever heard.

Alan Lazaros:

We have in book club 50 people. There are 50 individuals in the Next Level Book Club. We've been doing this for four years. We've read 20 books. Get on the train. You will be far, far, far more aware, self-aware, others, the world, great books and the only intention we set is we are here to challenge your existing thinking so that you can have a bigger, better, brighter future. I hope you join book club. It's totally free.

Kevin Palmieri:

Boom, as always, we love you, we appreciate you, grateful for each and every one of you and at NLU we don't have fans, we have family. We will talk to you all tomorrow, keep it Next Level, next Level Nation. Thanks for joining us for another episode of Next Level University. We love connecting with the Next.

Alan Lazaros:

Level family. We mean it when we say family. If you ever need anything, please reach out to us directly. Everything you need to get a hold of us is in the show notes.

Kevin Palmieri:

Thank you again and we will talk to you tomorrow.

People on this episode

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Alan Lazaros

Host
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Kevin Palmieri

Host