Next Level University

Is Being Obsessive Actually Bad? (2075)

• Kevin Palmieri and Alan Lazaros

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What if your “too much” is exactly what the world needs? In today’s powerful episode, Kevin and Alan explore the quiet strength of obsession, not the kind that drains you, but the kind that drives you. From discipline in money and fitness to becoming better men and leaders, they show how focused passion can be a force for good.

Episode Reference:
Grab the Branding Worksheet here -  https://drive.google.com/file/d/1cZ6w299r1Awo6O7NgZVZ5RZsjy1jQcju/view

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Free 30-minute Business Breakthrough Session with Alan -
https://calendly.com/alanlazaros/30-minute-free-breakthrough-session?month=2025-04
Free 30-Minute Podcast Breakthrough Session with Kevin -
https://calendly.com/kevinpalmieri/free-30-minute-podcast-breakthrough-session-with-kevin

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NLU is not just a podcast; it’s a gateway to a wealth of resources designed to help you achieve your goals and dreams. From our Next Level Dreamliner to our Group Coaching, we offer a variety of tools and communities to support your personal development journey.

For more information, please check out our website at the link below. 👇

Website 💻  http://www.nextleveluniverse.com

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We love connecting with you guys! Reach out on Instagram, Facebook, or via email. We’re here to support you in your personal and professional development journey.

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Kevin: https://www.instagram.com/neverquitkid/
Alan: https://www.instagram.com/alazaros88/

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Alan: https://www.facebook.com/alan.lazaros
Kevin: https://www.facebook.com/kevin.palmieri.90/

Email 💬
Kevin@nextleveluniverse.com
Alan@nextleveluniverse.com

LinkedIn ✍
Kevin: https://www.linkedin.com/in/kevin-palmieri-5b7736160/
Alan: https://www.linkedin.com/in/alanlazarosllc/

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Show notes:
(2:53) When obsession leads to results
(5:31) Addictive tendencies and growth
(11:06) When passion starts to feel like work
(14:30) Five personal obsessions that drive them
(19:55) Next Level Dreamliner: The planner, agenda, journal, and habit tracker to rule them all. Get a copy: https://a.co/d/9fPpxEt
(23:14) Conscientiousness and business leadership
(26:54) Becoming who you needed most
(29:09) The power of caring deeply
(34:15) When obsession hurts relationships
(36:24) Standing up for what matters
(38:48) Outro

Send a text to Kevin and Alan!

Kevin Palmieri:

I don't think it's a coincidence that the things I am quote unquote obsessed with and it probably looks like I'm obsessed with them from the external view are the things that I have the most results in. I think being obsessive towards something is bad when the results you are getting are bad, or you feel bad about yourself, or it has detrimental outcomes. But if you're obsessed with something positive, I feel like that's probably a pretty good thing, all things considered.

Alan Lazaros:

In the past. People have said Alan, you have OCD, and I playfully refer to it as OCE obsessive, compulsive excellence and what I mean by that is, I think obsession can be a good thing as long as it's something positive and constructive.

Kevin Palmieri:

Welcome to Next Level University. I'm your host, Kevin Palmieri.

Alan Lazaros:

And I'm your co-host, Alan Lazarus.

Kevin Palmieri:

At NLU, we believe in a heart-driven but no BS approach to holistic self-improvement for dream chasers.

Alan Lazaros:

Our goal with every episode is to help you level up your life love health and wealth.

Kevin Palmieri:

We bring you a new episode every single day, on topics like confidence, self-belief, self-worth, self-awareness, relationships, boundaries, consistency, habits and defining your own unique version of success.

Alan Lazaros:

Self-improvement in your pocket, every day, from anywhere, completely free.

Kevin Palmieri:

Welcome to Next Level University, next Level Nation today for episode number 2075. Is being obsessive actually bad. Okay, no, cool. As always, we love you and we appreciate you and we'll see you tomorrow. So you heard a little bit in a previous episode. This week I'm getting a new car.

Kevin Palmieri:

Okay, of conversation with Taryn, a lot of conversations with Alan, and Alan and I were talking today and I said, dude, I think the thing is I was obsessed with lowering my car payment, like I, every single day I was thinking of how can I lower my car payment? What can I do? Do I do that? Do I buy it? We had a conversation earlier in the month where I said should I just buy the car now, like see how much that would be? Would that make the payment lower? Blah, blah, blah. There are certain things that I just get like obsessed with. For the longest time, when we had the podcast studio, I was obsessed with making it just a little bit better. Yeah, like the lights. I don't like the way that looks. A little bookshelf, tv shelf that's not good enough. Tv Chairs.

Alan Lazaros:

For some reason I still have those chairs in my basement, you do?

Kevin Palmieri:

Yeah, those things were the worst chairs ever.

Alan Lazaros:

They were terrible man, they were so uncomfortable yeah they were, but that's all we could really afford honestly at nice they did look nice but they weren't.

Kevin Palmieri:

Unfortunately, I do have an obsessive personality when it comes to certain things, like once I get something in my mind, it's really hard for me to move to something else without finishing it completely nice. Yes, and there's certain if. If I was to get a text message from a client, that would fuck this whole episode up for me because anyone else notice I don't know if anybody else would, but it would.

Kevin Palmieri:

My internal dialogue would be like I would become obsessed with figuring out why they messaged me. If there is an open problem when I come to record, it screws me up because I'm obsessed with figuring out how to close the problem and fix the problem, but I think it can be a really good thing. The reason I got a new car is not because I needed one. It's not even genuinely necessarily because I wanted one. It's because I found a way to get a new car for cheaper than the car I had and we're focused on saving money. What can I do for you?

Alan Lazaros:

nothing I'm just pumped kids, that's a big deal, that's a, that's a huge win. 2025 bmw it's a big lower payment.

Kevin Palmieri:

I mean, hey, strong work, big win, big strong fucking work now, unlike most people who are just gonna ball out of control on social media and they're not gonna tell you that. That's why we did it. We didn't do it because I needed a new car. It was if I can get my payment down 160 bucks a month. Four seats or two four seats four doors.

Alan Lazaros:

That thing was. That other fucking car was so impractical.

Kevin Palmieri:

I hated that thing well, luckily no, no family, no kids, right? So I don't really need big back seats, but this is a full size vehicle.

Alan Lazaros:

So when we travel, anyone above five feet seven can be comfortable.

Kevin Palmieri:

Well, the back seats aren't massive, but yes, yes. So the whole point of this is I have really, really been obsessed with saving money and Alan has been obsessed with saving money and because of that obsession, this whole thing ended up happening. And I think being obsessed you can replace the word obsessed Maybe you don't want to have the word obsessed Having something that is always on your mind as an intentionality. Cool, let's say that I am trying to always think about how to save money. Let me, let me figure out how to do that. I don't think it's a bad thing as long as it's constructive. Now, if I'm obsessed with spending money, that probably isn't ideal.

Alan Lazaros:

I had a group of people that I grew up with and that's loosely a group of people I grew up with. They loved fantasy football. I told you about this behind the scenes, kev and I was in this text message thread, this text message group, and they were all in it and they all, every single year, would do fantasy football and they were in there constantly. And I don't know, I mean, I do know why I was in there, because they would all get together blah, blah, and I think back then I probably didn't want to be left out or felt obligated to be in there. But I never have done fantasy football ever in my entire life. I watched football. I used to when Tom Brady, the Patriots, all this kind of stuff, new England but I never really cared that much. And these people were obsessed with football and I mean they know every stat, every player, every team, every schedule, all of it. And I remember thinking to myself, if you guys and again this is going to come off dickish, but it is what it is I don't know if I care anymore. I used to say this in my head. I think I actually told them too, because I was probably naive enough to actually give them that feedback. But I said if you guys spent one-tenth of the time and effort building your own career as you do, studying these other people's stats and careers, the amount of passion that you put into football and fantasy football, if you took that same passion, that same tenacity, that same consistency and you put it into your career, you guys would be so much better off. And I was always trying to I don't know be a voice of reason and that didn't go well at all.

Alan Lazaros:

But my point is is that you can be obsessed with things. We all are. People say you have an addictive personality. Human beings have an addictive personality. All human beings do. Read a book called the Molecule of More Talks about dopamine. How addictive it is. Tiktok is addicting. Instagram is addicting. Youtube is addicting as fuck. All these things. Personal development can be addicting. So to me, if human beings have addictive personalities, and obviously that changes in frequency, intensity, density, duration Not all of us have the same level of addictive personality. I playfully joke. I said I can't even do moderation in moderation. But the point that I'm making is, if you're intense and you have an addictive personality and you're obsessive, you just got to be really careful with what you choose.

Alan Lazaros:

So I was obsessed with snowboarding and basketball and I had to quit those things. I didn't have to, I chose to, and here's why I was trying to get really good at snowboarding and I was getting hurt. And basketball pickup basketball I would take it very, very seriously. I would be practicing drills. I wouldn't leave the court until 2 am because I'm trying to hit enough a certain amount. So I would time myself and see how many. I would say okay, you can't leave this court until you get 10 shots in a row without a miss within 30 minutes and things like that. And it would be 10 shots in a row. And I'm not talking layups, I'm talking 10 shots in a row running around drills, my own, me versus me under the floodlight. And I just realized you know what, alan, you're going to go out of fucking business For sure. If you're out here under the floodlights at 2am, no one cares if you're good at basketball.

Kevin Palmieri:

What are we doing? Well, you said something recently. You're like yeah, I ran a time mile the other day and I was like you're a fucking idiot.

Alan Lazaros:

Why are you running time miles Like go grow the business? I had to delete that app. What are we only am I going to spend 80 bucks, but I'm not going to use this thing. And if I am going to use this thing, I'm going to be out there running. Listen, I choose your obsessions wisely. I think obsession is a good thing If you choose awesome stuff. So for me, being a great partner to Emilia, being a great CEO, being a great leader to the next level university team, being obsessed with coaching, training and podcasting I am so obsessed with coaching.

Alan Lazaros:

I was on earlier with someone. We had a podcast pre-chat. I'm going on her podcast. She introduced. So Amy went on her podcast. Amy Lenius, shout out to you. And she talked me up.

Alan Lazaros:

Amy did and then she reached out to me and said, hey, can you come on my show? And she booked an hour on the counter. I said, hey, is this a podcast pre-chat? She said I want it to be half podcasting and, if it's okay with you, I'd love the other half to be coaching. I was like, let's do it. I took her through the metrics, I took her through the habits, I took her through the systems. I was in Google sheets. I was rocking and rolling. I actually we started on zoom, uh, and this computer, and I said, hey, we got to switch over computers, cause when I get into coach mode I mean I'm going to come at you and it's going to be. Are you ready? She's like I'm so pumped, she loved it.

Alan Lazaros:

My point is what you get obsessed with kevin's obsessed with podcasting and you're not. And I'm obsessed with coaching and you're not. It's going to be really hard to compete with that person. And if you find what you're obsessed with and some people out there might be saying, well, I'm not really obsessed with anything, and I've heard this a thousand times and I'm going to debate this live, well, I don't want it to feel like work. It's better than work you hate. I have someone who is obsessed with making their own shampoos, making their own conditioner shampoo. I said you could easily. I could teach you how to build a business out of that. I'm telling you there's a lot of people who want chemical-free shampoos. I would buy it. I can teach you how to do Instagram marketing branding.

Kevin Palmieri:

It's not that hard.

Alan Lazaros:

Two customers right, Right here, baby, and she's like well, I don't really want it to feel like work. Well, you don't like your fucking job, so wouldn't it be awesome to have a hobby that actually is your job? That maybe starts to feel a little like work, but it's better than going to a job you don't like. So again, at the end of the day, I'm all for obsession, I'm obsessed with obsession and I'm ready to rock.

Kevin Palmieri:

What does this feel like work to you?

Alan Lazaros:

I do think that in the past it didn't, and then I think so. I shared this on book club and I'll try to go brief with it. But and I appreciate the question early on, you and I, I think we're passionate out of naivete Personal development and self-improvement and mental health, and we're going to be holistic and we're going to help people achieve their goals and dreams and I think that we had a positive attitude. We had a really positive attitude. We were super optimistic and really positive attitude Me more than you, but overall you had a really good attitude too and I felt like we brought a lot of enthusiasm. And I listened to a clip recently shout out to Odette, one of my clients. You saw it. She posted one of the masterminds from way back the hyper-conscious days and we had such a positive attitude back then. We were so naive but really enthusiastic about personal development. We loved personal growth.

Alan Lazaros:

And then we got cynical I will speak for myself. I think you did too. But we started to learn the industry. We started to learn how full of shit everyone is. We started to meet all our heroes and they fell from the pedestal and I got fucking cynical man. So I think it started. It didn't feel like work in the beginning, partially because we weren't fucking working I'm kidding. Then it started to feel like a grind where it was I have to do this more than I get to do this and I'm bringing back that I get to, so it feels it feels good again I for me it does.

Kevin Palmieri:

It feels like work, but it's different. It's like a different flavor of work. There it's work, but it's so much deeper and so much more meaningful and there's so much more pride in it that it's not the same. Yeah, agreed, it's not like um, yeah, I never punch in or punch out, because that's not real when you're a business owner, at least not for the first decade. But it doesn't. It is work, but it doesn't feel like a job. I guess maybe that's that's the point I'm trying to make.

Alan Lazaros:

So it feeds us? I don't think I think it feeds us more than it bleeds us. Yeah, but in the beginning it was pretty much only feeding us and I think for a while we got a few wounds. We were bleeding out in battle for a little while there and I feel like we're bringing back the positive attitude. That's fair, I feel good. I'm grateful.

Kevin Palmieri:

What are you obsessed with today? Your, what are your five obsessions?

Alan Lazaros:

emily and I, we do a check-in every week, 79 weeks in a row, nice, and we have this little pyramid on the side of our whiteboard and it's three things simple fitness, family and finance. And we do green, yellow, red. We used to do zero to ten and now we just we can check in in five minutes because it wasn't sustainable. We used to do hours Not sustainable. So we're all green right now, which was big. We haven't had all green in a while.

Alan Lazaros:

And family what we mean by that is her mom, her dad, her sister, her brother, my mom, but, more importantly, me, her and our fur babies. So family was green, fitness was green, finance was green. For both of us. On the pyramid, we do her side and my side, and it's green, green, green all the way up. So the whole thing is green. And so I'm obsessed with fitness, I'm obsessed with finance, I'm obsessed with business, I'm becoming obsessed with family, which is interesting for me. Like Emilia and I are going to start a family, that's becoming a very different feel for me. I never felt family oriented and I'm definitely becoming that, and I'm obsessed with coaching for sure.

Alan Lazaros:

For sure. I'm obsessed with fitness, business and personal development as well. I've obviously thought about this a bit. What about you?

Kevin Palmieri:

Well, I figured you'd have five right off the bat, so I was accurate in that Fitness. For sure, Family's different. Like for me, it's Taryn, that's for me, me and Taryn and the boys. Well, yeah, but that's I don't. Ace and Fudge, those are always my dudes. Every time I walk out, Fudge sees me, he looks at me and he flops over because he knows I have to give him bellies.

Alan Lazaros:

I want you to continue. I just think this will be a good place. I had a moment in the car the other day. It's like how different are Kevin and I? I have Bush Tucker Wolf, madame Tauriel de Ferry and Tiger Nala Lily are my two cats and my dog, and kev has fudge and ace I think I named fudge and tyron named ace. Yeah, I just had that moment of.

Kevin Palmieri:

That makes sense she wanted to be ghost and I was like no, ghosts are white, fudge is black, it's gonna be fudge. That's the way that wasn't their names they were. They were gizmo and fidget. That were their. That was those. Those are their original names. Were like no, that ain't it that ain't it they're, they're too young, they're not gonna remember them.

Alan Lazaros:

Anyway, let's change them I had a moment in the car I said how fucking eccentric are we shoot those names.

Kevin Palmieri:

Yeah, super, I'm obsessed with I'm obsessed with cats, for sure I'm obsessed I'm obsessed with? Yeah, I would say family, because I am like insanely obsessed with my family, for sure. Fitness family. I'd say finance. For sure I love making money and I I like spending it too, but I'm learning to become obsessed with spending less money, for sure, because it's it's not sustainable to do the other thing. What else am I obsessed with?

Alan Lazaros:

I want to ask you this yeah, what is that like for you? What? Because you've always been good at making it, you've always been really good at spending it. You've shifted that.

Kevin Palmieri:

So much the spending it honestly it fucking blows. Yeah, it sucks. Yeah, I hate it. It must be weird I hate it.

Alan Lazaros:

Kev's coming to me he's like hey, man, I think I can get my car payment down by 200 bucks. You know what if I did this, this and this? I'm like what? Who the fuck are you? 158? I should have used to be hey man, you think I could get this fucking beamer?

Kevin Palmieri:

I you know one of the one of the interesting things and again, I understand this is like a privileged problem and I'm not. I don't mean it that way, but but ride with me on this getting a, getting a nice car, is a dream come true. Having a 760 car payment every month is not a dream come true that sucks. That's a lot of money and, as I used to think it was that much money.

Kevin Palmieri:

That's such a different perspective for you now because I realize I just think I have a deeper understanding of where that money could be going. You know, I, I still loved, I love. I'm actually picking up the car tomorrow. So if you're listening to this, I'm picking up the car in a couple hours probably. But check out Kev's social media.

Kevin Palmieri:

I'm sure there'll be some stuff, check out my socials, but I, I don't know. I think I, just as I've matured. It's the question is is it worth it? Is it worth it to spend X amount on this? No, not really, not really. And again, you're always looking over my shoulder in a good way, not a bad way, so I know you're going to see it if I buy something. Chief financial officer of the company. So I'm always thinking would I be able to justify this to alan honestly, a lot of times, like if you I spent 30 on food this weekend, if you said, hey, did you need that? It's like no, but fuck you, I'm gonna spend 30 a week. Right, like I know, we're trying to save money but we're also not trying to suffer too, too bad yeah

Kevin Palmieri:

it's that, it's that fine line. So I don't. Honestly, it's strange and I think you, really you need a lot of necessity. There needs to be a lot of necessity to do something like that, because for me at least, it affects everything. I have to talk myself from doing it all the time. Don't buy that. You don't need to buy this. I'm looking at floor mats for my car. I'm buying an expensive car. I want to get floor mats. This is what I did last time. I went and got weather tech ones that were 200 bucks. I was like no chance, can't do it. Let me find some budget ones. And even then I'm like is it cheaper just to buy new floor mats like the car has, if they go bad, or are they even gonna care when I trade it in in three years? Maybe we'll just, maybe we'll ride the lightning on it it's not a d Diderot effect.

Alan Lazaros:

Once you have nice shirts now it's wait a minute. I need a nice watch. I also need nice hair. The Diderot Hello, hello, hello. Nlu listener. Thank you, as always, for listening to Next Level University. Real quick, I just want to jump in and let you know about the Next Level Dreamliner. This is a journal that I use every single day. Achieve your dreams 90 days at a time. It breaks down your dreams into goals, milestones and daily habits. We hope you enjoy it. The link will be in the show notes. It's called the Diderot effect. Yeah who? Charles Diderot.

Kevin Palmieri:

David.

Alan Lazaros:

Dingus Diderot, dingus dingus dittaro. No, there was a guy who bought a really nice shawl way back in the 1800s or something, I don't. It's in atomic habits, it's in the book atomic shawl what the hell is a shawl, I don't know man, I don't. It's a robe or something like that. But he realized once he had a really nice shawl that everything else in his house was a real piece of shit and he just started buying nicer everything. That's one of the things that people don't realize.

Alan Lazaros:

That, I think, is very, some, very much something on my radar. Once I get nice things, I have to be careful not to upgrade everything. You, you do. You have to be really careful. I it's the, the word is conscientious. You're just a lot more conscientious than you used to be. Conscientiousness is and you can look this up chat, gpt, google it's the most correlated with business success, success in general, career success, like and I'm just again it's going to seem like I'm picking on Kev, but I'm not. If, if, kev, if I went to Kev eight years ago and I talked to that man and I interviewed him for for to be the a chief officer at next level university, there's no way I would hire you because you just weren't conscientious.

Alan Lazaros:

What would you ask me? I wouldn't ask you. What would I ask you? I would sit down with you and I'd go through my sort of filter and I'd check in on a lot of stuff. I would start you out with something small, and I wouldn't. I would still hire you and I know this is a weird conversation, but I would still hire you. I just wouldn't hire you as a chief officer. Let me explain why. You just weren't conscientious enough. You can't trust you. Eight years ago with this company, you're going to drive this thing off a fucking cliff for sure I still might today.

Alan Lazaros:

I still might, you definitely won't but I I never really understood this. There's that whole thing of with great power comes great responsibility. That's true when you, when you're building a business that's a multi-million dollar business, you have a big responsibility. You can't just buy shit because you want to. It's so opposite of what people think. Well, that's why it's so hard. You guys grossed a million dollars. You guys must be able to. No, the reason we grossed a million dollars is because we are conscientious enough to make good choices and to serve 106 clients consistently and over deliver consistently, consistently and over deliver consistently. And so the more you earn success, the more is required of you, and I'm grateful because you and I I told Kevin this off air I said we've we learned through hard knocks how how to lead.

Kevin Palmieri:

Yeah.

Alan Lazaros:

We, we crossed a chasm. A lot of business owners, they don't have teams and I know why it's really hard to lead. Leadership's the hardest thing in the entire world. So I'll get off the soapbox, we'll go back to obsession, but at the end of the day, I think you've come way up in conscientiousness. You're just.

Kevin Palmieri:

You're more organized, you're more disciplined, you're more intelligent, so proud of me if you saw my desk. Except, dude, don't ask. I get a box of pasta on my desk for some reason, I don't even know how this got here. I have a full box of penne ragazze, that's how every good story starts. We were cleaning out one of the closets and somehow this we're not sponsored by ragano pastas or lenny and larry.

Alan Lazaros:

This episode sponsored by lenny legaro pasta.

Kevin Palmieri:

I am also obsessed, I would say, with. It's hard because I'm not as obsessed with you, but if I take you out of the equation, I'm very obsessed with improvement, not just necessarily improving myself, but like improving things around me nice, anytime we make. We had a minor jeffing. It wasn't, no, it wasn't even a jeffing. We had a client message us and say, hey, something's a little wonky, can you check on it? And you know me, it's like, yep, on it, let me see what I can do. Boom, boom, boom. It wasn't us, it had nothing to do with us, it was their team, it was their internal stuff. But I sent a message to the team and after I sent kind of like an apology message. This was an opportunity for me to improve. This is an opportunity for me to improve. This is an opportunity for me to make sure that this thing that wasn't actually an L can become a W. It's fake, but I'll say, yep, we're on it. And then I'll kick it to you and it might seem presumptuous like we, we screwed something up when we didn't. I want everybody to know that if I ever do that, it's not out of a place of intention, and even that doesn't make it right. So let me try to do better with that, like I'm gonna. I'm gonna try to do better with that.

Kevin Palmieri:

I know I have to get way better at everything I'm doing and I really am obsessed with doing it because it feels good to get better. Yeah, it does, even though sometimes it sucks, so that it can be addicting to get better. I don't know if that's an addiction I have. I'm also obsessed with sleep. I become like really, really obsessed with sleep. Lately, my sleep has been pretty dialed in, which is good Cause that's not that's pretty new for me, but that might fall under fitness. So, yeah, I would say I would say that and, honestly, I am obsessed with being the type of person I needed I'm I know it sounds fortune cookie somebody we get so many emails of like, hey, I would love to be on your podcast. Or hey, dingo jones is a world-renowned author where I'm reaching out so he can come he or she can come on the podcast 99 times out of 100.

Kevin Palmieri:

I don't even respond. I'm not going to respond because there's no point. It's these people get rejected enough. They don't. This is part of the process. But somebody emailed me and it was like this person seems like a good person. It seemed like a good person. It was a great email, super respectful, cool. Sent them an audio message. Nice, david, my friend. Thank you so much for reaching out. I appreciate it. Unfortunately, we don't have guests anymore.

Kevin Palmieri:

You know the old adage don't meet your heroes. It's a trap, it's kind of true. It is it kind of true? I won't bore you with any of the details. Nice, but you seem like a super positive person. You and your partner seem to be doing something awesome. This isn't a fit, but I do appreciate you reaching out and I wanted to send you a message. That's what me would do. That's the type of person that I want to be. That's what that's what that person would do, and that can be bad at times, for sure, but I still I have not seen the detriment of that yet, and I'm sure one day it will.

Kevin Palmieri:

I just realized I didn't mention my number one obsession um chicken nugs reaching my full potential yeah, I, I figured that was the number one Close, you were close. Yeah, it's not far off. Not far off. Yeah, it's not far off.

Alan Lazaros:

It's my second guess. I did an episode on business growth university. And what is your one obsession? There's one word in three obsessions, actually, and it's episode two of the. If you want to go check that out, the link will be in the show notes and I created a little worksheet for it. What's your one upset? What's your one word? I'm sorry. And then three obsessions around it. So my one word is potential, reaching my full potential. And then the three obsessions are fitness, personal development and business Little triangle with the one word in the middle, but reaching.

Alan Lazaros:

And one of the things that I cannot seem to get away from this, and that's when you know you're obsessed with it. For anyone watching or listening, it's something that you miss. You just cannot get away from it. No matter what you do, every conversation, everything you are, everything you do, ends up being about this. One for me is film. I mentioned probably 6,000 movies on this podcast. Now, that means that I did two movies every episode, but I've probably mentioned 200 movies at least Already. No, no, not on this episode, but on the podcast.

Kevin Palmieri:

Oh okay, University podcast. I thought you meant on never mind. Yeah, yeah, I'm Jeffing.

Alan Lazaros:

Yeah, 200 movies and two episodes of Business Growth University. I look, you know you could. I'm obsessed with film man. I always have been. My whole life. Went out to LA for a time, was gonna work in show business.

Kevin Palmieri:

Son, you think the personal development industry is dark shit? You would have been. You were in for something, I'm sure.

Alan Lazaros:

I was in for something, my goodness, but reaching my full potential. I've always wondered and I want to kick this to the listeners too. I've always wondered why no one cares about that. It turns out some people do, it's just not as much as I think they should, which means that I care about it a ton. This is something for everybody out there to find their obsession. If you wonder, why doesn't anyone else like why?

Alan Lazaros:

My whole life I've always wondered like why are you so okay with not reaching your potential? I've been out of shape before. I've been really freaking out of shape before. I've been more out of shape than most people, but it always bothered me. It bothered me so much and I always wondered like why doesn't that bother more people? And it's because I'm obsessed with fitness and they're not. I'm obsessed with reaching my potential and they're not. That's a good way to find out your obsession. Look around and what is the thing that you care about so deeply, so deeply Like you couldn't imagine your life without it, and other people are just like eh, no, I mean word, I'm good.

Alan Lazaros:

Last story I promise I was at lunch one time. One of my clients listening will remember this. Emilia and I were at lunch and this client of mine was dating someone who I did not approve of. They're not anymore. And we went to lunch, emilia and me, her and her partner and I. I talked about goals and dreams, as I do, naturally, and she's like, no, I'm good.

Alan Lazaros:

And I was like no, no, I mean, you know what's the next level for you? What's you know what's next to you? She's like no, no less, I'm good. I was like you're fucking 24. No, there's no next. Like you're, this is it, you're done. And I remember, and first of all, emily and I had a conversation the way home. We said, well, that's the last time we ever get lunch with them, and I know that sounds mean, but the truth is, if you don't want to reach your potential at all, and you're done, there's no next level, you're done, completely done. I'm just gonna be a pain in the butt. So I've learned over time not to associate with people like that and it turns out that person sucks bad. But at the end of the day, I remember thinking to myself you're 24 years old, you can't be done with your career like. This is a ladder you're supposed to climb. Imagine just being done like no, I'm good no, I'm good.

Kevin Palmieri:

No, but I'm sure back in the day I probably wanted to. That's why it's always weird these conversations, Because, like dude, I'm sure I felt that way at some point. For sure 100%.

Alan Lazaros:

Well, this is next level university. Well, back then it was, it was next level baby.

Kevin Palmieri:

Back then it was party hard Saturday after working a job that you hate Monday through Friday or Saturday. Well, what's your version of that?

Alan Lazaros:

What I went out on a limb on that man. No, no, I'm in. What's your version of that? I know you are. I'm in I understand what's the thing that you care so much about that for some reason, other people be a good.

Kevin Palmieri:

I do not understand how you cannot be just be a good fucking person. I blows my mind like why. I don't understand why you have to be mean to other people.

Alan Lazaros:

I don't get it.

Kevin Palmieri:

Yeah, like just be. Oh, they messed up your order. Who fucking does that really matter that much? Is that really that big of a deal? Like what are you doing that? But maybe that's because I have low self-worth. It's like, ah, fuck, what if it's just a core value? What? If it's an obsession my burgers on fire. No, it's good. No, I'll eat it. That's fine, okay, yeah, that's that's not necessarily good, but I do. I do think it's an obsession. I want to treat people nicely. I don't want to be a dick well, 100.

Alan Lazaros:

That's why you and taryn work. I mean she's just a wonderful human. She's a great person. Yeah, with a man. I know that. That's why you and taryn work. I mean she's just a wonderful human. She's a great person. Yeah, with them, and I know that that's you value that so much.

Kevin Palmieri:

Yes, she has never dude. I don't know if I've ever heard my wife say a negative thing about anybody. I'm dude like the most positive, the least judgmental person ever of all time. Just, I would put her up against anybody in that the least judgmental person walking the planet earth.

Alan Lazaros:

Well, dude that I love it. I love something that means 10 out of 10 to you, that other people are. It blow that's for the listeners. That's an indicator that you have something that other people don't, something that's 10 out of 10 meaningful for you makes me a better man, dude she doesn't care, like she doesn't care about how successful quote-unquote I am.

Kevin Palmieri:

She doesn't care if I'm not a good man. She doesn't care about anything. Nothing, it all goes. That. All goes away. That all goes away. That, yeah, it helps me become a better man, for sure, and it has. That's, that's been the the best thing ever. Kevin's caught between. He has to be a really really good person. 24 7 365 for his wife and he has to be wildly conscientious and successful. I mess up, I. I mess up, I get stressed out I.

Kevin Palmieri:

My state is I'm not always bubbly no, but I, I want, want people to know I fuck up all the time.

Alan Lazaros:

Well, that's the thing too, the people you surround yourself with.

Kevin Palmieri:

They hold you accountable to their standard, or their obsession Exactly, they try to hold you accountable to their standard of their obsession. That's where things get wonky, I think obsession hurts relationships.

Alan Lazaros:

if you're not careful, it's not a line for sure.

Alan Lazaros:

When you, when we wanted to do this episode, you suggested it, I remember thinking obsession is a really good thing for success. It can be very dangerous in relationships yeah, in the, especially in the wrong relationships An obsession might as well be a core value. A core value, that means 10 out of 10. I can't imagine a life where I'm not pursuing my full potential, and if you're around me, you're either pursuing your full potential or I'm counting the seconds to leave, because I just it's who I am.

Kevin Palmieri:

Well if you can't be yourself. That's like the. I have a gym enemy now. It's awesome. It's really good for me. It's really good. It's a really good practice for me. Dude's toxic, I can't fuck with you, man. Nope, won't do it. I talk to a bunch of people in the gym. I will take my AirPods out. If he wanted to fight, I would yeah, fuck, yeah. He doesn't want to fight me. Come on, sir. He's 60. You know you don't want to come on. I know you think you're and he thinks he's very badass, but he's not. I know you've been to jail, I don't care and that's not a flex sir, I don't what cool man strong, strong work.

Alan Lazaros:

But I, I strong work. You've been to jail yeah strong work.

Kevin Palmieri:

My whole family's been to jail. So, like whatever man cool like I, I know what that's like. You want to. You want to. You want to compare notes?

Alan Lazaros:

I love it man this is good stuff, real, real s is coming out right now yeah, it's for sure, I've got awards on my wall, kevin's, you know, talking about this guy who's been to jail.

Kevin Palmieri:

I love it if any of my family is listening. I do love you, and some of some of you have made bad decisions in the past, just like I have, just not maybe to the same degree, that's all. But I he's not a good person and I feel dirt. I cannot. I cannot talk to this person or be associated with this person. I'm not interested.

Alan Lazaros:

Not interested.

Kevin Palmieri:

It's called standing for something that's a really big step for me, because my big fear is disappointing men. That something that's a really big step for me, because my big fear is disappointing men. That's my, that's my thing, that's like my core wound. I disappoint this dude every time he tries to like walk over to me and I just ignore him, not interested, or I just shake my head nope, not talking, not for you. So that's proud of you, man, that's awesome I appreciate it.

Alan Lazaros:

I appreciate it's hard to stand in. What means the most to you, it is I, I. There's a part of me that was scared to say what I said about that lunch on the way home. On the drive home, emilia said okay, that's the last time that ever happens. We couldn't talk about anything. Goals, nothing, dreams, nothing, growth, nothing, personal development. We couldn't be ourselves. Well, it's not for me.

Kevin Palmieri:

And that's okay. What's your next level lesson before we get out of here? I feel like I gave about eight, so I'm not going to give another one.

Alan Lazaros:

The next level lesson is find your obsession, and maybe that's a big part of who you are and maybe I know it takes tremendous courage to own that fully.

Kevin Palmieri:

I'm going to add one. I'll add one, one quick To Alan's point. If you're more obsessed with something than I am, you can be way better at it. I'm obsessed with being a better speaker Obsessed. This episode, hopefully, is maybe proof of that, I don't know. But if you don't want to be better at speaking and I'm obsessed with it who do you think is going to get further? 100%, and I'm obsessed with it. Who do you think is going to get further? If you are obsessed with making the world a more positive place, you're going to do that for longer and more intensely than other people. So yeah that You're going to get further with your obsession than probably anything else.

Alan Lazaros:

Yeah, stop running from it. Own it, own it.

Kevin Palmieri:

Own it All right. Probably anything else, yeah, stop running from it. Own it, own it, own it All right. If you are out there right now and you feel like maybe you're a little bit lonely in the journey, completely understandable. It unfortunately is one of the downsides of growth and evolution and personal development. We have a private Facebook group called Next Level Nation and it is designed exactly for that. This is the group that we wanted at the beginning, when we were just grinding it out, trying to figure out what the next step was. So we'll have the link in the show notes. You are welcome. We would love to have you. You're going to be surrounded by other next level people who want to get to the next level.

Alan Lazaros:

Please join ladies and gentlemen, I am obsessed with how badly I have to go to the bathroom right now. I could tell you, oh, you get so wiggly I do do. I'm a wiggler, yeah, all right. But in all seriousness, if you are obsessed with getting better, like Kevin and I, the Next Level Dreamliner five to 10 minutes per day, sustainable. We're obsessed with consistency. Achieve your 90,. Achieve your dreams 90 days at a time. Nice Dreamliner Link in the show notes.

Kevin Palmieri:

If you don't buy it, we will know why. All right. As always, we love you we appreciate you, grateful for each and every one of you, and at NLU we don't have fans, we have family. We will talk to you all tomorrow.

Alan Lazaros:

Keep it Next Level.

Kevin Palmieri:

Next Level Nation. Thanks for joining us for another episode of Next.

Alan Lazaros:

Level University. We love connecting with the Next Level family. We mean it when we say family. If you ever need anything, please reach out to us directly. Everything you need to get a hold of us is in the show notes.

Kevin Palmieri:

Thank you again and we will talk to you tomorrow.

People on this episode

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Alan Lazaros

Host
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Kevin Palmieri

Host