Next Level University

What Are Your Essentials? (2080)

• Kevin Palmieri and Alan Lazaros

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In this episode of Next Level University, hosts Kevin Palmieri and Alan Lazaros open up about feeling overwhelmed, the pressure of high standards, and how success often forces you to re-evaluate what’s truly essential. From personal stories to practical insights, they unpack how to refocus, let go of non-essentials, and build a life around what really counts—health, wealth, and love.

Free 30-minute Business Breakthrough Session with Alan -
https://calendly.com/alanlazaros/30-minute-free-breakthrough-session?month=2025-04
Free 30-Minute Podcast Breakthrough Session with Kevin -
https://calendly.com/kevinpalmieri/free-30-minute-podcast-breakthrough-session-with-kevin

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NLU is not just a podcast; it’s a gateway to a wealth of resources designed to help you achieve your goals and dreams. From our Next Level Dreamliner to our Group Coaching, we offer a variety of tools and communities to support your personal development journey.

For more information, please check out our website at the link below. 👇

Website 💻  http://www.nextleveluniverse.com

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Show notes:
(4:09) Why growth requires trade-offs
(7:17) Redefining what’s truly essential
(10:12) Structure is the price of ambition
(12:15) Next Level Dreamliner: The planner, agenda, journal, and habit tracker to rule them all. Get a copy: https://a.co/d/9fPpxEt
(13:18) Letting go to level up
(16:30) One hour, maximum impact
(20:16) The real cost of big goals
(22:03) Outro

Send a text to Kevin and Alan!

Kevin Palmieri:

It is super easy to think everything matters at the same level and that just is not true. But when you get into the flow of things and you feel good and you have momentum and you're tracking habits and you're doing things that maybe you've never been able to do consistently, the last thing in the world you want to feel like is you're giving something up, especially if you feel like it matters a lot.

Alan Lazaros:

I just started a new podcast, business Growth University level up your life and business. A new podcast Business Growth University Level Up your Life and Business. And that makes nine episodes a week between the Conscious Couples podcast, business Growth University and Next Level University, not including the six or seven I'm doing per week on other podcasts. I am overwhelmed and it is time to essentialize.

Kevin Palmieri:

Welcome to Next Level University. I'm your host, Kevin Palmieri.

Alan Lazaros:

And I'm your co-host, Alan Lazarus.

Kevin Palmieri:

At NLU, we believe in a heart-driven but no BS approach to holistic self-improvement for dream chasers.

Alan Lazaros:

Our goal with every episode is to help you level up your life, love, health and wealth.

Kevin Palmieri:

We bring you a new episode every single day on topics like confidence, self-belief, self-worth, self-awareness, relationships, boundaries, consistency, habits and defining your own unique version of success.

Alan Lazaros:

Self-improvement in your pocket, every day, from anywhere, completely free. Welcome to Next.

Kevin Palmieri:

Level University from anywhere, completely free. Welcome to Next Level University, next Level Nation today for episode number 2080. What are your essentials? So, as you heard in the cold open from Alan Alan it's Monday when we're recording this Haven't heard from Alan a couple of days.

Kevin Palmieri:

You know, saturday I worked all day. He worked all day. Sunday I go off and do my thing. He worked all day. And now here we are on Monday and he's like hey man, I'm overwhelmed. All right, cool, why don't we talk about it? So we're going to talk about essentials and all that. And how do you actually figure out what the essentials are? Because I think if you're somebody who, let's say, you do something now every day, at one point you didn't track habits. Now you track habits every single day. Yes, that's essential, but you're gonna start tracking habits that night might not be essential and we might have to get rid of those, we might have to adjust those, we might have to put them off until there's a more realistic timeline for you. And I think it feels like shit when you're doing something and you feel like it's working and then you have to say like, does this actually matter or does it feel good?

Alan Lazaros:

And I'm not saying that's your case, but what I think is really difficult about this is you start something new. You're super pumped about it. You got a streak going. I've got something called the next level sales system. I taught it to clients. They're crushing it. I'm doing well with it, kev is doing it. And the law of trade-offs. When you add something to an already full life, I have a question for you.

Kevin Palmieri:

So you've been working with me for eight years. I have Best damn eight years of my life, nice. I think that Best damn eight years of my life, Nice. I think that's actually true right yeah, which says how shitty my life was. Huh, you know what I mean? No, I'm kidding, that's really funny.

Alan Lazaros:

So, yeah, the this is the cycle, the pattern. I'm going to condense it though. I reach a certain level and I'm like, hell yeah, and I develop skills and awareness to flourish at that level, at said level. And then I get bored of that level and I'm like, hey, I'm going to do this, let's bring this to the fucking next level. And then I add something that I think is going to get us to the next level as a company, as a brand, as an individual, as business partners, as a podcast. And then we start doing it. We start building momentum, we start building consistency, building a habit, boom, boom, boom. All of a sudden, the momentum creates more demand and we are winning at the next level.

Alan Lazaros:

And I always say the world's biggest lie is that success makes life easier. I'm very, very grateful. I have a lot of people reaching out, I have new clients coming on. I've got emails to someone who wants to work with me that I haven't even been able to get back to. I've got Zoom notes that I got to catch up on and again, it's it's all great problems to have. So the cycle is crush it at the current level to the point where you know you're ready for the next level. Then you up the ante and build a new habit or a new discipline or a new system, whatever it is. And then you start building momentum, you start gaining altitude. You're like hell yeah, this is awesome, let's go. And then all of a sudden you can't handle that new altitude. The air starts getting too thin and you realize you can't sustain this. That's where I'm at right now, cause I've leveled up in so many areas lately, over the last quarter, and I cannot sustain this without getting rid of some stuff. You ever see the movie triple frontier?

Kevin Palmieri:

no, you've been trying to sell it to me for a while and I haven't seen oh no, yeah it's terrible terrible.

Alan Lazaros:

It was terrible on netflix yeah, netflix special.

Kevin Palmieri:

It was atrocious, atrocious movie you thought that was bad.

Alan Lazaros:

Yeah, it was terrible. You talking about the one with ben affleck? Yep, terrible movie dog shit, whoa, okay, I didn't mind it, but anyways, regardless of that, do you remember when they had the helicopter and they had the bags of money and they the helicopter couldn't go past a certain altitude without getting rid of some of the money? Okay, and they basically spoiler alert for anyone who hasn't seen it they were too cocky, they weren't willing to get rid of any of the money and the helicopter ends up crashing because they try to climb too high with too much dead weight. Okay, that's how I think success works. In order to go to the next level, I do think you have to re-essentialize. I think you have to get rid of some shit. So my question for you what has it been like? And answer this however you want. This is a pattern for me and I don't think it's a bad pattern.

Alan Lazaros:

I think that this is what you've been in this spot a thousand times. Okay, so over the last eight years, you've witnessed this cycle. What's your perspective on it? What's my perspective on it? Like, what do you mean? You're not going to get to the next level and have no frustrations. You're not going to. I always say anyone who is okay all the time and never frustrated obviously has no standards. And so this is a necessary growth cycle that I go through and I, while I'm not perfect at it and I'm sure it's hard to watch or be a part of, I do think it's necessary for growth. I really do. I don't think you can win championships, metaphorically, without this process, to some extent. So what's your take on all that?

Kevin Palmieri:

I think it's always. It ends up going back to like less, not less, but more. Focus is more, because that's all that's going to happen. Is you're going to say, like that's what we're talking about, you can't have 10 essentials, really? I mean, I guess you can if you only want to give each of them 10%, but I think it's just. It's always been cutting down, so right now there are things that feel essential, that were essential in the previous season and they might not be essential in this season. I think that's all it is. That's why I love season so much, because what if one of the five things that you're doing just is no longer essential and we didn't realize that we're in a new season?

Alan Lazaros:

well, it's essential in comparison right, because right essential is relative and, yeah, it depends on your goals.

Kevin Palmieri:

It all depends on your goals what's essential food, water, sleep and shelter. Yeah, right, you can get away with some shit food, you can, you can. You can run on low sleep for a while.

Alan Lazaros:

Right, your shelter doesn't have to be great like, but this is all that's if you have no goals. I love this conversation. This is good For sure, the higher your goals are the more.

Alan Lazaros:

The food, water, shelter everything needs to be optimized. People, we were in book club and I shared with everybody. Emilie and I have a runway every week. So every Sunday we review the previous week and we set up the next week and we have three things that we categorize Three rows week. And we have three things that we categorize three rows. One of them is stim, no stim. Semi-stim, which basically means are we watching something and we're gonna zone out and eat food, or are we gonna be present and have a meal at the dinner table? Semi-stim basically means we have something up, so we have a 115 inch projector. That's unbelievable. It's like a home theater. It's my favorite thing ever and if you put something on youtube like a big night sky, you can put campfire. It's really, it's really awesome. That's semi-stem, but anyways. So the three things that we do, is that what we're working out? So the three types of workouts steady state, cardio, hit training and weight training and then what are we gonna eat, and those are the three things we line up every week. So we don't have to think about it. It's just we both know what's my point of this.

Alan Lazaros:

In book club I said listen, you guys don't have to be. We treat everything like we're Navy SEALs everything. Emilia and I are very, very, very optimized and we trust me. I've not done the whiteboard. Our week goes off the freaking rails without it Because you don't know. You don't know how good something is until you don't do it. Like kevin's been tracking habits for seven years. If you stopped tracking habits for a month or two, it would be fun. For two weeks could be like oh yeah, hell yeah, fuck it. But then after that you'd be like who am I and what am I doing with my life? Because you don't realize how not optimized you are until after you're optimized. And so what's my point of this?

Alan Lazaros:

We were on book club and I said you don't need to be as dialed in as Emilia and I. I'm going to say this stuff because I know it's what works. But if you don't have as high goals as I do, you don't have to treat every day like you're a navy seal. Emilia and I, we like doing that and we are doing that and I don't want to go back. You can't do 1182 days of exercise in a row while also running three businesses between the two of us without being dialed in, without having structure and systems and calendar and tracking and all this stuff. Trust me, it's not a thing. It's like google that you're not going to run Google without metrics. Oh yeah, we just kind of show up and play ping pong.

Kevin Palmieri:

It works. Yeah, it just works.

Alan Lazaros:

But so for you, what do you recommend to our listeners or viewers about this? System's necessary. And even you and I, behind the scenes off air, we said listen, I'm here to complain a little bit and figure something out, and I appreciate you listening, but I know this is par for the course with where we're headed. So what do you think about this process for other people?

Kevin Palmieri:

Well, I think this is just the frustration part of you. When you get to a new level, you get new opportunities and then you have to reset what normal is. I think that's all it really is. It's just for you. You're already kind of maxed out. So now it's about reallocation where somebody else you might be going from your fifth habit you're tracking to your sixth habit Awesome, great. But if you're already at 25 habits, there's only so many more. You can only do so many habits every day. There's just there's only so much time. So I think that's all it is is eventually, in the beginning it's attention, it's intentionality and impact. Then it becomes more about like time. Then, when your time is maxed out, it goes back to intentionality and impact Because you don't have any time. I think that's all it is and I think it's totally normal for everybody.

Alan Lazaros:

Hello, hello, hello. Nlu listener. Thank you, as always, for listening to Next Level University. Real quick. I just want to jump in and let you know about the Next Level Dreamliner. This is a journal that I use every single day. Achieve your dreams 90 days at a time. It breaks down your dreams into goals, milestones and daily habits. We hope you enjoy it. The link will be in the show notes.

Kevin Palmieri:

The common thing, I think, is when something like this happens, you don't feel like you're making progress, even though you're making a ton of progress. So two things you do. You either say, ah shit, I'm doing too much, I have to can it which I'm not saying is not necessarily the answer or the other thing of okay, right now I'm doing more than I've ever done, but I don't feel great about it. So, like what is that? What does that mean? I'm not doing great work, am I not? Am I crushing health and wealth, but I'm not crushing love? Like what is what does all this mean? Then we check back in. I think that's all a piece of it. And then I think another piece is.

Kevin Palmieri:

For a lot of people, it reveals what actually matters to you. Oh, you're crushing it with money and you don't really care that much. Well, maybe you don't care about money as much as you thought, or you're. You're getting way more quality time than you ever have with your partner and you are questioning if that matters as much as you thought. Oh, interesting, okay, cool, then it's not as essential in the amount than you that you thought. Let's revisit that. But yeah, with you and I this. I mean, how many times has this happened? This is normal as hell.

Alan Lazaros:

Yeah for sure. Well, I know we only have four minutes here, but the maximization. I used to say this to Kev all the time I want to maximize my potential and help others do the same, and he'd say no one gives a shit. He didn't say that, but he said no one else is trying to maximize their potential. And I think, when it comes to the literal words of that maximize, what does that mean? To max out, like I know, I have more to give and this is the weird thing of so. I think last week I did 52 coaching sessions, trainings and podcasts.

Alan Lazaros:

For a lot of people, I know that sounds terrible. Coaching sessions, trainings and podcasts. For a lot of people. I know that sounds terrible. For me, if I'm trying to be the best speaker, coach, trainer and podcaster that I can possibly become, I'm on that journey. I'm on that path. That's great.

Alan Lazaros:

But this is a weird conversation because in the Pareto principle, 20% of effort creates 80% of rewards. Okay, this is why, if you don't have clear goals, you cannot maximize anything. Because am I maximizing the amount of beer I can drink? Am I maximizing the amount of workouts I can do? Am I maximizing muscle mass? It all depends on the goal. Everything depends on the goal and I think that's why I want you to explain it. Everything depends on the goal and I think that's why I want you to explain it, because my brain understands mathematically that basically what I'm saying without saying it, when, when I come to Kev and I say, brother, and it's Monday and it's, I didn't get a full back office Sunday. Emilia and I redid the conscious couples studio and it took fucking way longer than we hoped and it is what it is and it looks great, but I didn't exactly have the Sunday I typically have. And so I come into Kevin it's shit, I got to redesign something. I I'm behind. I need to figure out how to play at this new level. That's really what it is. I have to figure out how to effectively play at this new level, especially before we go to the next level.

Alan Lazaros:

And what I'm really saying without saying it is, and what I'm really saying without saying it is hey, man, I've maxed out at the level I'm playing at and I have to get back to Pareto and double down on things that matter more, because this is the conversation of leverage. This is, if I put an hour, okay, this is a good example, if I put one hour into a great creating a great podcast episode with Kev, because you guys anyone watching or listening you're only hearing us on the microphone, you're not hearing the pre and the post and the experience review, you're not hearing the title and the topic and okay, are you good? What are we going to plug? So? And that's all fine.

Alan Lazaros:

But let's say I dedicate one hour of my time to making this episode as good as possible. That is more impact, more leverage and more long-term revenue than any other single thing I can do with a single hour and everyone out there watching or listening. There's one thing that you can do that maximizes money. There's another thing you can do that maximizes fulfillment. Hopefully those are the same thing and they're most likely fucking not let's be real.

Alan Lazaros:

And that's one of the greatest problems in life the fact that the thing that fulfills you the most is not the thing that makes you the most money.

Kevin Palmieri:

And health, wealth and love almost never connect. I mean, they do for you and you mainly have a business together and you exercise together. But even that it would be great if you were just doing that. But you're not. You have another business.

Alan Lazaros:

That's requires way more and even then it's not quality time. I know I mean it is. It's better than not being with her, but it's definitely not.

Kevin Palmieri:

I think the higher deep level the higher you try to climb each mountain, the worse it gets, because if you're just trying to climb the wealth mountain, awesome there's.

Kevin Palmieri:

I'm not saying it's easy, but it's way easier yeah if you you want to be single forever, you don't care about your health at all, yeah, cool, go make a boatload of money. It's not gonna be as hard as it would be to do all of them. That's why I think that's why it's so much harder, so that that that's the explanation is, if you're like, well, I'd like to be in like okay shape and I'd like to have okay money and I'd like to have an okay relationship, your life is going to be far easier than somebody who wants the best of those. Your life is going to be far more challenging than somebody who will settle for anything, and it's always the higher your standards are in each arena, the higher the game is and the harder it is to stay in the arena, because eventually, your baseline is close to impossible already, like that's. That's the thing that's so hard, it's so hard to explain, and seven episodes a week is the minimum.

Alan Lazaros:

Being a CEO, being you and I business owners, you've got to get good at a lot of stuff, dude. We have to be good at so many things. It's so fucking annoying. Well, this is the path that we have chosen.

Kevin Palmieri:

Yeah, I mean, if you want to, you know, just let it go. You don't have to work out anymore. That'd be cool, like I get a lot of time back.

Alan Lazaros:

We did do that for a little while. I know I'm kidding, I still worked out. I just did.

Kevin Palmieri:

Well, I was Jeffing and I wasn't nearly as fulfilled. So that's the thing is. Like Alan said, if you're out there and you have that moment, go bitch about it to someone like with me. Sometimes you'll get the answers to it. Sometimes you just need to say it out loud, and usually it's this I have to refocus on essentials and this is a growth opportunity for me, and that's all it is. And the essentials are usually the same but better. And then you got to get rid of some stuff that doesn't matter as much as it once did.

Alan Lazaros:

There's a principle. I know we're going to go. There's a principle in the book the 15 invaluable laws of growth, and that book is just awesome. Every single one of those laws is sound and it's one of my favorite books of all time. It's right behind me. You have to give up to grow up. It's called the law of trade-offs. You have to give up to grow up and I'm going to have to give something up in order to get to the next level, and I always use the example of snowboarding and basketball.

Alan Lazaros:

A lot of people don't want to hear it. Oh no, you should totally listen. Emilia and I both have snowboards in our basement. We both love snowboarding. I met her five and a half years ago. I snowboarded and skied my entire life up until, basically, we started this business and Emilia and I have never gone together. We've never once gone snowboarding together.

Alan Lazaros:

We are going to at some point, but we're not going to be able to snowboard every weekend and build three businesses between the two of us, and I just think that Kevin and I are very honest about that. The people that we've met that are the most successful. They're really really, really, really, really successful in one narrow area, and you just have to understand that if you want to be healthy, wealthy and in love, that's our goal. We want to be healthy, wealthy and in love. That is my essentials, right there.

Alan Lazaros:

I want to be healthy as hell, wealthy as hell and in love, and that's going to be way harder. So in these times when I'm frustrated, I don't I'm not pity partying, I'm not trying to be play the victim Like this is all by design, this is all par for the course, and I know that. And it's just a question of let's let's be honest about it, let's do an episode about it, let's let's share with our listeners what I'm going through, because I don't want anyone out there to think, oh, we just make it look so easy to me. The higher you climb in life, the harder it's going to be, and that's okay for sure.

Kevin Palmieri:

Yeah, I think that is a fact. Last thing, before we go, people ask on podcasts. They say can you do, you think you can succeed without struggle? And I I'm convinced that the struggle you must overcome is directly connected to the size of the goals you set. If you just want to have a podcast, it's not that hard to to do like awesome, start and then do episodes whenever you feel like it. It's not gonna be that challenging, like cool, good, awesome. If you want to get to a hundred episodes, that'll be harder.

Kevin Palmieri:

Whatever right, every goal requires a different level of effort and it requires a different level of suffer, and this is the thing I would end on before we get out of here. Alan said I have more to give. I wonder if, when you have more to give, you also have more to give up. Unfortunately, that's a, that's an episode for a future time. All right, whoa, as always, we love you, we appreciate you, grateful for each and every one of you and nlu. We don't have fans, we have family. We will talk to you all tomorrow keep it next level, next level nation.

Kevin Palmieri:

Thanks for joining us for another episode of Next Level University. We love connecting with the Next Level family.

Alan Lazaros:

We mean it when we say family. If you ever need anything, please reach out to us directly. Everything you need to get a hold of us is in the show notes.

Kevin Palmieri:

Thank you again and we will talk to you tomorrow.

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Alan Lazaros

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Kevin Palmieri

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