Next Level University

Circumstances Matter And It’s Important To Understand How (2103)

• Kevin Palmieri and Alan Lazaros

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Do your beginnings write your future, or is that just what we’ve come to believe? In today’s thoughtful episode, Kevin and Alan reflect on the quiet power of circumstance. How it shapes us, slows us, or sometimes sets us ahead. They share stories of grit, grace, and those who rise despite the odds, reminding us that not all paths begin at the same line, and that’s okay. With warmth and honesty, they explore what we’re given, what we earn, and what we make of both. You’ll leave with a fresh perspective, not weighed down, but lifted, ready to meet your life where it is, and grow from there.

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Show notes:
(3:51) The story of a fighter
(5:55) Resetting your perspective on privilege
(8:21) Harsh truths about dating and height
(10:27) Is self-belief built or born?
(12:19) Meet your people. Chase your dreams. Level up your life with Next Level Group Coaching. https://www.nextleveluniverse.com/group-coaching/
(14:05) The real impact of money on life
(19:55) Why effort matters more than talent
(22:55) The d

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🎙️ Hosted by Kevin Palmieri and Alan Lazaros

Next Level University is a top-ranked daily podcast for dream chasers and self-improvement lovers. With over 2,100 episodes, we help you level up in life, love, health, and wealth one day at a time. Subscribe for real, honest, no-fluff growth every single day.

Kevin Palmieri:

I think it's irresponsible not to call out circumstances when it comes to setting goals and overall success, because if there's somebody out there right now that doesn't have internet access, it's going to be way harder for them to be a successful online business owner than it would be for you and I, and in some cases it might seem relatively impossible to do what we have basic access to to do what we have basic access to.

Alan Lazaros:

It's such a weird thing, because circumstances very much affect and impact whether or not you can reach the next level, reach success. However, in a way, you really can't rely on that because, even if resources and circumstances are not good, you still have to believe in your own bigger, better, brighter future in order to be resourceful and actually achieve something.

Kevin Palmieri:

Welcome to Next Level University. I'm your host, Kevin Palmieri.

Alan Lazaros:

And I'm your co-host, Alan Lazarus.

Kevin Palmieri:

At NLU, we believe in a heart-driven but no BS approach to holistic self-improvement for dream chasers.

Alan Lazaros:

Our goal with every episode is to help you level up your life, love, health and wealth.

Kevin Palmieri:

We bring you a new episode every single day on topics like confidence, self-belief, self-worth, self-awareness, relationships, boundaries, consistency, habits and defining your own unique version of success.

Alan Lazaros:

Self-improvement in your pocket, every day, from anywhere, completely free.

Kevin Palmieri:

Welcome to Next Level University, next Level Nation. Today for episode number 2103,. Circumstances Matter and it's Important to Understand how. I went on a podcast one time and somebody said, hey, do you believe anybody can accomplish anything? And I said, as much as it will pain me to tell you this, my perspective on this has shifted a lot, because I wanted to be the guy who said, yes, no matter where you are, what you're going through, what you've been through, whatever you can accomplish your wildest dreams. And then I said but honestly, I went on a podcast one time that was hosted by somebody in Nigeria and I don't know what their living situation was like. They did the podcast outside, on their cell phone, with no equipment and maybe the weakest internet possible to do the actual interview, and I said this person was great.

Kevin Palmieri:

We got along amazingly, do I was a person I don't know begin with an m no, I don't remember this person's name. I don't remember.

Alan Lazaros:

This was a while ago, huge fan of someone from nigeria that's all yeah same.

Kevin Palmieri:

I just don't know if I don't think it was that person, no, no, it it was that person. No, no, it wasn't that person.

Alan Lazaros:

Did they do a new coaching?

Kevin Palmieri:

No, no, no Okay different person.

Kevin Palmieri:

Yes, this was way back and I said so many things would have to go right for that person to even have the opportunity to have the level of success we do. They could be harder working and they could be better, and they're limited by their circumstances. And I'm not saying that to keep them down. I'm saying that because I feel like it would be irresponsible of me to say, yeah, they could definitely accomplish their wildest dreams. There's a story of a fighter. His name's Francis Nganu. He's. From where is he from? I believe somewhere in Nigeria. One of the wildest stories ever of all time. He used to dig ditches for I won't even say a living, because I'm sure he was not paid enough to live on and he literally left and walked across the desert and somehow made it to the us and became a professional fighter and was one of the best fighters of all time. The reason it's so powerful is the likelihood that that is never going to happen again to somebody else real quick.

Alan Lazaros:

Yeah, you just condensed what 20 years into 20 probably more.

Kevin Palmieri:

Yeah, so probably more that's.

Alan Lazaros:

The other problem with this whole thing is you're condensing 20 years into 20 seconds, but it's the power of the story is that it shouldn't have happened.

Kevin Palmieri:

That's the, that is the power and the inspiration and motivation behind the story. So, before alan goes and does his thing, I don't want this to be a negative episode. I don't want this to be don't chase your dreams. That is not us, nlu. Chase your dreams. That's what we're here for. And I think it's also important to admit what the circumstances are, because some dreams, some goals, some desires can be reckless if you don't play into effect the circumstances and you don't weigh them.

Alan Lazaros:

I'm not saying not to pursue, I just think it's important to understand where you're starting the pursuit from, at least entitlement and a little bit of arrogance in anyone who thinks that things should work out just because they want them to. And I was on a podcast earlier today with a hypnotherapist and he loved the interview so much that he already asked me to come back. And he loved the interview so much that he already asked me to come back. I said yeah, absolutely, because it was a tremendous interview. Just an awesome dude. And what do I mean by awesome dude? Let me actually unpack this Humble grateful that I was there, gracious when I was a couple minutes late. Not entitled, literally said I know you're a busy guy. I'm so glad that you invested the time. Just appreciative gratitude, grateful, not entitled, if you want to be someone who I adore. Just be grateful. Do you know how many times a day I think about having running water and I think about having nice clothing and I have central air? That is not a thing in some parts of the world, many parts of the world, many parts of the world, many parts of the world. It's so important I do what's called perspective resets.

Alan Lazaros:

I'm actually reading a book called Flowers for Algernon right now, and one of the reasons I love that book is it's contemplating. The ignorance is bliss thing. There's a mentally challenged man it's a fictional book and they give him a brain surgery that increases his IQ from basically 50 all the way to surpass 150. And he throughout the journey it's in the first person and throughout the journey, as he gets smarter, it's very depressing because he realizes all of his friends were actually making fun of him and he realizes that he was actually too dumb to understand and all this stuff. And the reason why I love reading that book at night when I can't sleep is because it reminds me of how grateful I should be for my brain. I'm a very intelligent human being. I can't take that for granted.

Alan Lazaros:

I remember I was snowboarding once and I got a concussion and when I woke up I thought I was in my bed. I was not. I went to do a rail and I don't even remember what happened. Apparently, I smashed my head. Someone from the chairlift told me. And I remember thinking what a fucking entitled asshole you are. You better wear a helmet from now on. I was doing math equations in my head the moment I woke up to see if I was still smart.

Alan Lazaros:

Dude, do you know how nice it is to get straight A's without having to try that hard. No, I don't. It's the best thing in the entire world. Everything's open to you when you're really, really, really capable. I'll give you an example. So I was a loser in high school and I could never get a girl like Emilia. I felt powerless. I felt hopeless. I couldn't get a girl to talk to me. No-transcript, easy. Why can't I get these girls to pay attention to me? Because I look like a freaking girl. That's the reason. Okay, I don't have any. They have chest hair and pit hair and they have beards Right. And so you're powerless when you don't feel capable.

Alan Lazaros:

And to bring this back to the original point of the episode, everyone has different circumstances. Kevin is a short man. He's never going to have as many prospects as I'm going to Do. You know how many girls say, oh no, kevin's good looking. And then they're like, oh, but I'd never date him, though I can't date a short man. That's like 80% of women will not date a shorter man. It's fair. At least that's the statistical. I mean, you can read a book called Dataclysm, the guy who started OKCupid. He has all the data on this Height and income and all that stuff. We can tell ourselves a story all day.

Alan Lazaros:

The truth is the truth and the truth is circumstances matter, and they matter a lot. I couldn't change the fact that I was prepubescent. I can't change the fact that I look like a kid. I can't change the fact that I didn't hit puberty until I was freaking 30. But I can change certain things. I can work harder, I can get smarter, I can be resourceful, I can learn how to speak effectively and communicate. So, at the end of the day, it's this duality you have to hold in your consciousness of circumstances matter, and I have to leverage the resources I have, the country I'm born in, the opportunities available to me, the network available to me, because when I was on that podcast earlier, I said he said how did you do this? Your childhood was so challenging.

Alan Lazaros:

Some people, when they have trauma I'm a hypnotherapist. So some people, when they have trauma, they go the other way and I said the truth is I had a lot of self belief and I used to think that I built that. Some of that is because I probably had gifting that I unconsciously knew. When you're a little kid, you look around, you play board games with people, you play video games with people, you play sports with people and you size yourself up. It's like, oh, I guess I'm pretty smart then. And then you go to school and you're smarter than all the other kids and you don't know why, and you're like, oh, I guess I'm smart, this is awesome. Why do I beat everyone at everything? Okay, what is this about? Right, except for sports, obviously? And you, just you have this identity based on and I used to wonder is self-belief something you build or is it something you have because you have unconscious competencies and your genetics? And I think it's both.

Alan Lazaros:

There are some people and Flowers for Algernon it's a fictional story, but the guy's name is Charlie in the book. Charlie should not have as much self-belief as me because Charlie cannot achieve what I can achieve. He doesn't have the genetics to be able to do that. That's why we call it mentally challenged. We all have different physical, mental, emotional, emotional and spiritual capacities and we can all maximize them. But at the end of the day, where you were born matters. How you were born matters. Nature versus nurture it's obviously both and, at the end of the day, not everyone's going to be LeBron James or Michael Jordan or name whoever, and I think that it's so important for everyone to understand. Yes, you can maximize your unique potential, but your unique potential is your potential, not someone else's. And no matter how hard you try you're, you're never going to be able to become something that you just aren't meant to be.

Kevin Palmieri:

You can't become something you're not supposed to be. Yeah, you're not meant to be. You're not supposed to be. That's not in the cards. That's not the thing that would serve you.

Kevin Palmieri:

I was on a podcast today Great, it was with the guy's, a professional comedian. I asked him more questions than he asked me. I was like dude, I need to ask you so many questions? It was awesome, just a good dude and he is focused on achieving his potential. I want to achieve my potential and he said you think it ever gets to a point where you get? Because I said it's. It's okay to have a positive relationship with the fact that you'll never actually achieve your potential. He said do you think it ever crosses a chasm when you get older where you look back and realize, wow, I used to be in better shape, I used to be smarter? I said I don't think you could compare to that because those aren't your circumstances anymore.

Kevin Palmieri:

Next level nation. What is happening? If you've thought to yourself I want to try coaching, but you don't really know where to start, group coaching would be a wonderful place for you. That's really why we created it in the first place. We start a new round every 90 days. So, if you're hearing this, go to the website nextleveluniversecom, and we have the landing page where you can actually hold your spot right now. Even if there's a group going on right now, you can still lock your spot for the next one. The biggest thing that we've seen is, as we get closer and closer to the date, unfortunately, some people end up missing. The group fills up and they can't do it, and then they end up regretting that. So please head over to the website. The link will be in the show notes and we would love to see you there.

Kevin Palmieri:

Should I compare 36 year old Kev to 18 year old Kev? I don't know, I don't think so. 36 year old Kev to 18 year old Kev? I don't know, I don't think so. If I'm going to say I'm way smarter now than I was, because I've had way more time to learn and I also had the testosterone of a small, wilder beast when I was 18. And I probably don't have that level of testosterone anymore you definitely don't. Then you definitely don't. Circumstantially, should I be okay? Am I going to compare to 18-year-old Kev forever? Or am I going to compare to 35-year-old?

Alan Lazaros:

Kev.

Kevin Palmieri:

As long as you're doing an accurate comparison, it's apples and oranges and you need to know that oranges are different than apples, and that was my point. That I said to him is when I'm 65, am I going to be compared to 18-year-old Kev? No, and be compared to 64 year old Kev or 63 or 60 or whatever. Yeah, I don't. I don't. That's circumstances, that is circumstantial, that is important and that's why when people say, well, money doesn't matter, yes, it fucking does. Money matters a lot. It matters a lot.

Kevin Palmieri:

I. I went to. I went to register my car yesterday and registering a car is expensive. The more expensive the car goes, the more expensive the registration is. And the lady behind the counter was asking me questions. She was like do you like leasing cars? And I said, yeah, it works for me, it works for me. And she said do you like BMWs? And I said I love BMWs. And she's like are you prepared for me to tell you the price for the registration? I was like I already know the price. All right, you're good. And she's like aren't you like upset? And I said, when you buy a $65,000 car, you have to understand that everything is more expensive Circumstantially.

Alan Lazaros:

Good for you.

Kevin Palmieri:

She must've been like what the hell?

Alan Lazaros:

It was well, I was trying. I don't mean to be jumping in here, but I think it's important for everyone, to myself included, to remember this. You probably were dressed like a regular dude. I came straight from the gym, I was dressed like and you don't strike people as someone who can afford a 65 000 car that's the point and I'm not trying to be a dick, but that's called judgments that people make based on your external appearance, appearance.

Alan Lazaros:

you have tattoos, you're not dressed super nice, you got stubble, you. All of this is important for everyone to understand. She doesn't expect someone like you to have a certain level of wealth and or success and that's because, statistically speaking and again people get so upset with me when I share things like this I'm not saying you shouldn't.

Kevin Palmieri:

I believe in Kevin more than anyone ever has. You can say it about me because I know it's accurate, so I don't. I'm never going to get offended, you know that.

Alan Lazaros:

But at the end of the day, I think people want to believe things are different than the way that they are, and it's well. People shouldn't judge people. I know you shouldn't judge a book by their it's cover, but everyone does and it's important for you to understand that. And, by the way, before you open the book, what are you going to look at? You're going to look at the cover, and I think that there's a maturity in that and I appreciate it. So continue your story.

Kevin Palmieri:

I I think that if you want to change the game, you can work really hard to change the way the game is played. But until you're capable of doing that, you have to figure out how to understand the game at least. And I think that's that's what you're alluding to. And it was just an interesting conversation for me, because all that is is her saying, wow, if I had to pay this amount to register my car, it would not be good. It's like, yeah, no, understandable, circumstantially, I'm in a different place right now. That's all. And money matters. This is why money matters. I will never be the guy who tells you money doesn't affect happiness. It does. Does it sustain happiness? No, does it help fulfillment?

Alan Lazaros:

no, I'm not saying that yeah, it does, though it's a part of fulfillment.

Kevin Palmieri:

It can help you. Yes, it creates opportunities for fulfillment, right? So I think that it's very easy to grow up around somebody who says money is everything, to then overswing and say money doesn't matter at all, you shouldn't need money to be happy. The truth's in the middle, somewhere. Should I be able to go live in the woods and be happy't matter at all, you shouldn't need money to be happy. The truth's in the middle. Somewhere Should I be able to go live in the woods and be happy? I don't know. Maybe Do I aspire to do that? Absolutely not. No, no, I don't. That's not for me, that's not my gifting. I don't want to go live in the woods. That's not what I, we don't want to admit. They matter in positive and negative, in limiting and expansive. I just think it's important. That's my new thing. The inconvenient truth that probably pretty sure that there's a fucking documentary. Damn al, why could you wait until after I?

Alan Lazaros:

said he has a ted talk called the inconvenient truth about the environment. Very important, very well came from a documentary.

Kevin Palmieri:

Yes, he's got a documentary on it, so I can't coin it as my own, but, brother.

Alan Lazaros:

Everything comes from. Somewhere. It's mine no one invented the word, somebody did Inconvenient. Yeah, that's actually true.

Kevin Palmieri:

Somebody did right. Yeah, by definition, somebody had to come up with it. Yeah, someone did.

Alan Lazaros:

Yeah, we actually and it wasn't me, it was not kev. Yeah, you didn't. You didn't invent the word inconvenient.

Kevin Palmieri:

No, what about truth? Did you?

Alan Lazaros:

invent that, no damn. Yeah, you must have had tough circumstances.

Kevin Palmieri:

I did have tough circumstances I'm sure, I'm sure, look, and here, and this is last thing, last last last thing, yes, tough circumstances, and some people have endured far worse than I can even imagine, and I know people who have literally said to me I feel guilty that I didn't have to overcome what you overcame it's like, first of all, don't put that on you, ricky Bobby.

Alan Lazaros:

Good for you, I'm happy for you.

Kevin Palmieri:

So don't be sad for me and for you because of me. I think that's important. Some people have had it way better than you A hundred percent. Some people have had it way better than you 100%. Some people have had it way worse than you 100%. Some people understand exactly what it's like because they've had similar 100%. I just think the truth, the accuracy, is important.

Alan Lazaros:

One of my favorite people I've ever coached. Her name's Pauline. I talk about her often because she inspires me. She was born with no arms and no legs. She drives a car. She learned how to swim. She's doing it. She's got podcasts. She's doing it. She's got a mastermind group. She inspires me because she could have made any excuse and she didn't. So, at the end of the day, she's proof that you can take shitty circumstances and make something of them. I had every opportunity to say, well, it's not going to happen for me, or to play the. I didn't have a dad or I was blah, blah, blah. That's why I cried during your first dance, because you are someone who I believe could have easily been nothing.

Alan Lazaros:

For sure and you didn't. You didn't settle your potential, not as high as some people I've met. I've said this to Emilia behind the scenes. I'll share it here. I said my favorite part about Kev. I know someone I grew up with and I'll keep this anonymous Kev, he's way fucking smarter than you. I'm not trying to be a dick. Genetically he was smarter than you, brother. He had gifts you do not have and I'm just being honest that dude, you would run fucking circles around. That's my favorite part about Kevin Palmieri. This other person is so lazy. He was given so much and he's done so little with it. Given so much and he's done so little with it, and it pisses me off. You were given so much less than this person and you've done so much with it, and that's my favorite part about you. His potential was higher, doesn't matter. Doesn't matter because kev is reaching for his potential way more than this person.

Alan Lazaros:

Effort and resourcefulness and humility and work, ethic and grit, I mean it can change everything. Zebras are still zebras. Horses are still horses, dogs are still dogs. Some people are Great Danes, some people are Chihuahuas, but at the end of the day, human beings are all different. We're all unique, but at the end of the day, human beings are all different. We're all unique and we have a certain amount of potential that we can reach. Some people have bigger cups than others, bigger shoes to fill, so to speak. We're not all the same, but I'll tell you what you better be filling that cup every fucking day and at least maximize the one magnificent life you have.

Alan Lazaros:

I regret a lot of stupid shit I've done, but I'm really proud of the effort I put into reaching my potential and doing all I can with all I have, because, at the end of the day, there was a time in my life where I wasn't. It was my F off time. It was fun, but I was so regretful, I was so ashamed I wasn't doing enough good in the world. How dare you, alan, have all these gifts and not use them? How dare you and that's the truth, I feel that way how dare us be so gifted?

Alan Lazaros:

We live in the most abundant country on planet Earth. You and I, the United States you can look this up research this For some reason and again, I love stats, so maybe I'm just weird about this I was with some people this weekend. They didn't even know that I'm like oh my goodness, you guys didn't know that the united states economy is the largest economy, by a significant margin, on the on the planet and apparently that's not taught to a lot of people. How dare you and I live in the most abundant country on the planet and not do good in the world? You know what I mean I do. We have more schools in this state, the state that I live in, massachusetts, than some entire countries. More colleges, listen.

Alan Lazaros:

I went to one of the best tech schools on the planet. That wasn't an option for everybody. I didn't. I won the lottery with where I was born and I, if you think that way, you won't take it for granted. I'm. I can't stand entitlement like we take shit for granted so much and it's it's so entitled and it it bothers me so much. Why? Because, because I believe that we can be grateful for what we have and grow it. And if you're grateful and this will be the last thing I know we got to jump If you are grateful for your gifts, you will work on them. Show me with your actions this other person I'm referring to. They're not grateful for their gifts. They were born smarter than other people. They were born so much smarter than other people, but they were lazy and and I would much prefer working with someone who is grateful for the little they were given and maximizes it than someone who was given a lot and did nothing with it.

Kevin Palmieri:

I think gratitude just like anything else. You say I'll have it eventually. No, it's not. You're not, there's. No, there's no amount of stuff you get for to get to the place where eventually it's like now.

Kevin Palmieri:

I'm grateful no no, no, it doesn't work that way. I'm gonna be. You gotta start with gratitude for what you have, even if what you have is not what you want yet, because I think that's fairly common for most of us all. Right, cool, next level hope foundation is coming up very quickly. The link will be in the show notes for those of you who'd like to donate to a wonderful, wonderful cause, children of single parents, like Alan and myself, were raised. We'll have the link in the show notes below. And if you're looking for a group of amazing, like-minded humans who are into self-improvement, who want to work through their circumstances but also be admittant towards their circumstances and be accurate, that's what we're essentially trying to accomplish here. We have a private Facebook group called Next Level Nation. We'll have the link in the show notes for that as well. As always, we love you, we appreciate you, grateful for each and every one of you, and at NLU we don't have fans, we have family.

Alan Lazaros:

We will talk to you all tomorrow, keep it Next Level, next Level Nation.

Kevin Palmieri:

Thanks for joining us for another episode of Next Level University. We love connecting with the Next Level family.

Alan Lazaros:

We mean it when we say family. If you ever need anything, please reach out to us directly. Everything you need to get a hold of us is in the show notes.

Kevin Palmieri:

Thank you.

People on this episode

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Alan Lazaros

Host
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Kevin Palmieri

Host