How Much Risk Are You Willing To Take? (2116)

In this episode of Next Level University, hosts Kevin Palmieri and Alan Lazaros unpack the real reason risk tolerance matters more than most people realize. You’ll hear vulnerable stories, sharp insights, and laugh-out-loud moments as they explore how your relationship with risk impacts your success in business, relationships, and personal growth. Whether you tend to overthink or leap before you look, this episode will help you find your sweet spot and take action with more clarity and confidence.

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Show notes:
(3:40) Risk takers move faster
(5:44) The sweet spot of action
(10:14) Social risk and self-worth
(13:01) Balancing ambition and relationships
(17:03) Rejection, momentum, and missed shots
(20:45) Recklessness in youth
(21:34) Next Level Dreamliner: The planner

🎙️ Hosted by Kevin Palmieri and Alan Lazaros

Next Level University is a top-ranked daily podcast for dream chasers and self-improvement lovers. With over 2,100 episodes, we help you level up in life, love, health, and wealth one day at a time. Subscribe for real, honest, no-fluff growth every single day.

Chapters

• 3:40 Risk takers move faster
• 5:44 The sweet spot of action
• 10:14 Social risk and self-worth
• 13:01 Balancing ambition and relationships
• 17:03 Rejection, momentum, and missed shots
• 20:45 Recklessness in youth
• 21:34 Next Level Dreamliner: The planner, agenda, journal, and habit tracker to rule them all. Get a copy:
• 26:02 Lessons from old podcast studios
• 32:01 Should you go all-in on your dream?
• 38:48 Outro

Transcript

Kevin Palmieri

(0:00) Alan asked me this recently, he said, hey, how did you know, or how do you know, that that client is going to be successful? (0:07) And there are a lot of different attributes, I think, that lead to success. (0:10) Today, we're going to talk about one that I don't think people talk about as often as they should, because I think there's probably a small amount of people who actually have this today.(0:21) I know I definitely didn't have this at the beginning. (0:24) You can be too reckless. (0:27) You can be too quick to take action without thinking.(0:33) Or, or you can be way too cautious. (0:36) And that's the challenge about success. (0:38) Everything is a sweet spot between two extremes.(0:41) Welcome to Next Level University. (0:43) I'm your host, Kevin Palmieri. (0:45) And I'm your co-host, Alan Lazarus.(0:48) At NLU, we believe in a heart-driven, but no-BS approach to holistic self-improvement for dream chasers. (0:55) Our goal with every episode is to help you level up your life, love, health, and wealth. (1:01) We bring you a new episode every single day on topics like confidence, self-belief, self-worth, self-awareness, relationships, boundaries, consistency, habits, and defining your own unique version of success.(1:17) Self-improvement in your pocket, every day, from anywhere, completely free. (1:24) Welcome to Next Level University. (1:29) Next Level Nation, today for episode number 2,116.(1:35) You're going to get a special one, 8.40 p.m. on Tuesday. (1:40) Hey, real quick. (1:41) This episode, real quick for me.(1:42) Let me go real quick first. (1:43) Let me go real quick first. (1:44) This episode, we're recording this at 8.45 p.m. This episode drops at 5 a.m. tomorrow. (1:51) So like seven hours or eight hours from now, this episode will be live. (1:55) Hey, real quick. (1:56) Yes, please.(1:57) Why the fuck were you laughing at me in the beginning? (1:59) Here's the thing. (2:01) Sometimes I think you're going to mess up terribly, and I thought that was the case today, and you proved me wrong.(2:06) Nice. (2:07) And I tried to cover my mouth, but I couldn't handle it. (2:09) It's okay.(2:10) I'm past go. (2:11) I'm past go. (2:12) It's been a long day.(2:14) Yeah, it's been a long day. (2:15) All right. (2:18) We have another round of group coaching starting next week.(2:22) I'm not plugging that right now. (2:23) We'll talk about that later. (2:25) But I've gone on a lot of really good podcasts with really aligned people, and we want to choose good, heart-driven people for group coaching.(2:33) We want to make sure that the groups are positive, right? (2:35) We just have the best group ever. (2:37) What can I do for you?(2:39) Just watching your face right now. (2:41) Yeah. (2:42) I can always tell when Kev is on his last leg.(2:45) Yeah, I'm suffering through it. (2:46) He's on his last leg. (2:47) He's bringing it for all of you.

Alan Lazaros

(2:49) Listeners, viewers. (2:49) I'm going to bed after this.

Kevin Palmieri

(2:51) Yeah, yeah. (2:51) He's straight up for you. (2:52) Yeah, I'm literally...

Alan Lazaros

(2:54) You done eating for the day as well?

Kevin Palmieri

(2:54) Yeah, I had to eat earlier because I knew we were working late. (2:57) Nice. (2:58) So when I get off here, I'm going to go hang with Taron for a little bit, and then that's it.(3:02) I'm going to bed. (3:02) Huge shout out to group 18, everyone who graduated from group 18. (3:08) Strong work.(3:08) Best group we've ever had for any previous groups. (3:11) I apologize. (3:12) This is the truth.(3:13) They were the most consistent. (3:15) They were on point. (3:16) They crushed it.(3:17) 12 weeks. (3:17) Boom. (3:19) Congratulations to group 18.(3:20) Yes. (3:21) So as I was saying before, I was interrupted twice or three times, depending on how many you want to count. (3:26) I sent a message to someone.(3:28) I was on their podcast recently, and I was like, oh, that person would be great for group coaching. (3:34) I sent them an audio message on Instagram, and they're like, yep, I'm in. (3:38) Send me the link.(3:40) Sent them the link. (3:41) They locked their seat in an hour. (3:44) I would bet money that that person is going to be successful because their risk tolerance is very, very, very high.

Alan Lazaros

(3:53) Yeah.

Kevin Palmieri

(3:54) All that... (3:55) What does risk tolerance mean? (3:56) You probably give a better definition than I, because you are somebody who had a really high risk tolerance.(4:00) What is risk tolerance? (4:01) And from your perspective, what are the benefits of having a... (4:05) What are the benefits and detriments of having a high risk tolerance?(4:08) The benefits are you take action quicker. (4:11) You're less fear-based. (4:12) You're less concerned.(4:14) Now, you can be reckless. (4:15) So I'll give you an example. (4:18) When Kevin and I were in the early days of podcasting, eight years ago, back in 2017, we had guests every week, and I would send a bunch of messages to guests that I thought would be a good fit.(4:35) You would send one, maybe two messages, and fortunately you got responses, but someone with a low risk tolerance is afraid of rejection. (4:44) They're afraid to say the wrong thing. (4:46) They're afraid to send the email.(4:47) They're afraid to sign up for something without knowing like this, this. (4:53) Give me all the details.

Alan Lazaros

(4:55) Exactly. (4:56) There's a time and a place for that.

Kevin Palmieri

(4:57) Yeah, they're super, super certainty-driven. (5:00) So the best way that I would describe it, Kev was overly certainty-driven. (5:05) He needed to know everything about the trip, everything about which plane we were taking.(5:08) He needed to know how the plane worked. (5:10) It's like, dude, what a waste of your fucking time. (5:13) Just get on the plane.(5:14) We're going to be fine. (5:14) All you have to look up is one thing. (5:16) How often do planes crash?(5:18) Next to never. (5:19) All right, let's rock and roll. (5:20) So the point that I'm making, though, is that some people are overly reckless, and I used to send too many invites to too many people, to old listeners to bring them to masterminds and meetups and that kind of thing.(5:32) I wasn't concerned enough about what that would do. (5:36) I burnt some bridges. (5:37) I didn't mean to.(5:38) People got offended, but Kev wouldn't send any. (5:41) So I'm over here sending too many messages. (5:42) Kevin's sending too few.(5:44) I'm over here taking too much action. (5:45) He's over here taking too little. (5:47) And so someone who's extremely, extremely certainty-driven, they need to cross every T, dot every I before they send the email.(5:53) You and I just had a 10-minute conversation before we hit record about a potential client. (5:59) My alma mater, WPI, Worcester Polytechnic Institute, they're starting a podcast. (6:03) They might want to work with us on the production side or coaching or consulting or whatever.(6:07) We don't know. (6:08) And Kev was like, what do you think about blah, blah, blah? (6:10) And I said, dude, do what you do.(6:11) You're fine. (6:12) You're good. (6:13) Old Kev would have needed an hour and a half conversation, and you old Kev, you would have been there.(6:18) You would have had to been there, for sure. (6:19) And this time, he's like, dude, let me do my thing. (6:20) You don't even have to be there.(6:21) It's great. (6:22) So, but that also could be cocky if you're in the very beginning. (6:26) For sure.(6:28) In the past, Kevin and I balanced each other out. (6:30) I had a very, very low risk tolerance. (6:32) I was willing to take massive action.(6:34) The best way to articulate this is it's supposed to be ready, aim, fire. (6:37) For me, it was ready, fire. (6:40) For Kev, it was ready, aim, aim.(6:41) Ready, aim, aim. (6:42) Ready, aim, aim. (6:43) Except for with certain things.(6:44) Certain things you could take action really quickly. (6:47) But ultimately, investments, for example. (6:50) I invested a bunch of money into the stock market.(6:53) I picked the tech companies that I thought would win. (6:55) I diversified my portfolio, ETFs, all this kind of stuff. (6:59) The point is, I invested a ton of money.(7:01) I remember I called my buddy up. (7:03) I said, brother, I work for a company called Cognex. (7:06) Cognex sells industrial automation equipment into manufacturing facilities all across the world.(7:10) I believe that it's basically the eyes of robotics. (7:12) Machine vision is what it's called. (7:14) I believe that automation is in its infancy.(7:17) We have a lot of great products. (7:19) I believe in this company. (7:21) This is a major league company.(7:23) We should invest. (7:24) There's not, people think, is that insider trading? (7:26) No, it's a publicly traded company.(7:28) Employees are allowed to buy stock, okay? (7:30) No one come at me, all right? (7:32) It's not a big deal.(7:34) You're allowed to do this. (7:35) So I call my buddy. (7:36) I say, brother, give me 30 grand.(7:38) Let's do this. (7:38) And we did it that day. (7:40) And we made a bunch of money.(7:41) The point is, it's very risk averse. (7:44) We could have lost all that money. (7:46) But we both made a lot.(7:48) And we both knew that technology most likely. (7:51) Now, if the CEO got sick, and there was some scandal, and the world no longer believed in automation somehow, there's certain things that could happen. (8:01) But Kev never would have done that.(8:02) You bought 500 bucks in Apple, and that was a big risk for you. (8:07) And so at the end of the day, you can be reckless. (8:09) But you also can be too cautious.(8:12) And it stops you from having momentum. (8:15) What I've found is optimistic people tend to be more risk tolerant. (8:21) They tend to take action quicker.(8:23) They tend to be less accurate in outcomes, believe it or not. (8:26) They've done studies on this. (8:28) If Kevin and I were to go back eight years ago, Kevin would have been more accurate than me at predicting outcomes in advance.(8:34) But I would have been more optimistic, and I would have shot more shots. (8:38) So I would have swung the bat more and hit more home runs. (8:41) But I also would have struck out way more.(8:43) He would have bunted and gotten on first base more, is a good metaphor. (8:48) It's, I think the reason it's so risk tolerance and success is because, yeah, you're going to take more shots and you have an opportunity to make a connection or get lucky or find what you're good at. (9:00) The person who said, yes, I'm in, then messaged me after they paid and said, when is it starting?(9:06) How long is it? (9:06) They didn't even know when it started.

Alan Lazaros

(9:08) They did almost no- It might have been reckless.

Kevin Palmieri

(9:10) Maybe, yeah, it might have been. (9:12) It might have been. (9:13) But I would bet on them as opposed to somebody who it's like Goldilocks.(9:20) Some people wait way too long. (9:22) How many people have we had? (9:23) And again, if you're out there and this was you, I'm not making it wrong, but I think it's a piece of it, right?(9:29) We can connect the dots. (9:31) We've had a lot of people that say, yeah, let me, I'll get back to you guys. (9:35) I'll message them.(9:36) Hey, FYI, there's like five people that are right now waiting to get back to me for this last seat. (9:42) If you miss it, you're going to have to wait another quarter. (9:44) And then they'll message me three hours later and be like, yeah, all right, I'm in.(9:47) It's too late. (9:48) It's old. (9:49) It's old.(9:50) Somebody else jumped on it before you. (9:52) Now, who knows? (9:53) You might in two months say, you know what?(9:55) This podcast thing didn't work. (9:57) I'm not going to do it anymore. (9:58) Maybe you would have learned something in group coaching that allowed you to do it for longer, whatever, right?(10:02) Whatever it is. (10:03) Or on the opposite end, this person who didn't even know what it was, let's say they buy it. (10:09) We get three weeks in and they say, dude, I can't make these times.(10:12) I realized that. (10:14) Now, would we give them their money back? (10:15) Yes, most likely, because that's the way we are.(10:18) Not every company is going to do that. (10:20) Not every. (10:21) I realized that when it comes to this type of stuff, as long as I have the buy-in from somebody else, I usually am pretty good.(10:30) Wait, what do you mean? (10:33) It's, it's not risk. (10:36) I mean, it's not risk if I know you're okay with it.(10:39) Because I know in your mind, it's not that risky. (10:41) You know, I got, I got in a little bit of a pickle when I bought the first, or when I leased the first BMW, because I told Taryn, I was like, yeah, I don't know. (10:52) I'm going to, I'm going to call today about maybe getting a new car.(10:55) And then she came home that day and I had the car. (10:57) And she's like, what the fuck? (11:01) And I was like, babe, it happened so fast that I like, the second I thought I realized it was a possibility, I had to do it.(11:10) Same thing happened this time. (11:11) I went to inquire about a car and then I, that was it. (11:15) Then I got the car, but I knew it wasn't that big of a risk because you and I had already talked about it.(11:21) Certain things where I wasn't that risk averse, it was like, if I know a mentor cares more about me taking a shot than hitting the bullseye, I'll almost always take the shot. (11:34) Well, so this is where we get into it. (11:37) What is risk?(11:40) Risk, let's look it up. (11:42) What is risk? (11:42) And what is risk to each individual?(11:44) I, you and I have come to realize that social risks are scarier for me, depending on the context.

Alan Lazaros

(11:50) We'll talk about it.

Kevin Palmieri

(11:51) We'll talk about it. (11:52) Okay. (11:53) So in group coaching, we did it earlier.(11:55) We went, we ended up doing an hour and a half more, hour and 45 minutes. (11:58) Connection session. (11:59) Last one.(12:01) We overgive. (12:02) If we tell you we're going to give, we're going to overgive. (12:04) We did.(12:05) I told you that I was fearful of the social risk of really leaning into what it's going to take to win in business. (12:12) If you just want to be a little bit successful, you only have to commit a little bit. (12:16) If you want to win in business and build a real business out of your podcast, you might do everything you can and still lose.(12:22) I'm just being honest. (12:24) And that was a social risk. (12:26) It was very possible for someone who was in group coaching to villainize me and leave and be like, fuck you.(12:35) That's a risk. (12:36) That's a social risk. (12:37) For me, I feel like all of us are risk averse in a certain area.(12:41) And if you can identify what that is, you'll be better off. (12:47) I'm very risk averse when it comes to losing relationships. (12:51) So I talked to you and Amy behind the scenes.(12:53) I talked to Amelia earlier today. (12:55) I've been working late, late a lot lately. (12:57) And I just asked for reassurance.(12:59) I went downstairs. (13:00) She was out storming right now. (13:01) Is it storming where you are?(13:02) I think so. (13:03) Yeah. (13:04) She was on the front porch watching the storm.(13:06) Beautiful. (13:07) Hoping the internet doesn't go out. (13:10) Power doesn't go out.(13:10) That would suck. (13:12) I actually thought about it. (13:13) What the hell would we do?(13:14) I'd wrap this bad Larry up with a bow, baby. (13:16) Say adios, amigo. (13:18) Finally, give me the reins.(13:19) Both of our power goes out. (13:20) My power is not going to go out. (13:22) How do you know that?(13:25) It hasn't and it won't. (13:28) That sounds... (13:29) That's very sound science.(13:31) Yeah, that's what I go with. (13:32) It hasn't and it won't? (13:34) Yeah.(13:34) So it'd be an anomaly. (13:35) It'd be like a... (13:35) I mean, we've had some pretty bad freaking storms up here.(13:39) Okay. (13:39) We're down. (13:40) All right.(13:40) So very scientific of you. (13:43) It hasn't and it won't. (13:45) That sounds really...(13:46) It's very arrogant.

Alan Lazaros

(13:47) Yeah.

Kevin Palmieri

(13:49) Well, you should wear your seatbelt, right? (13:52) Well, I'm a good driver. (13:53) Hasn't done me wrong yet.(13:54) Yeah, exactly. (13:55) That sounds smart. (13:57) Okay.(13:57) What was my point of all that? (13:59) The hell was I talking about? (13:59) Probably nothing.(14:00) Probably nothing. (14:00) There was probably no point to it. (14:02) You need reassurance.(14:03) Oh, you're risk averse in a certain area. (14:04) Yeah. (14:04) So I'm very risk averse when it comes to my relationship with Amelia.(14:07) I've been working a lot lately. (14:09) I've been telling her that I'm going to get it together. (14:14) And that's not a good look.(14:16) So I went down, I went outside in the front porch. (14:18) She was watching the storm. (14:19) I said, sweetheart, I'm just looking for reassurance here.(14:21) I got to work late. (14:22) It's got to be a me date tonight. (14:24) I got to work late again.(14:25) That's exactly what it's like. (14:28) What am I going to do? (14:29) I got to work late.(14:31) So she's like, you're good. (14:32) I said, are we good? (14:34) She said, yeah, of course.(14:36) And I said, I'm going to get it together. (14:38) I'm going to get it together. (14:38) She said, Alan, I've been, you've been saying that for a while.(14:41) I said in Q3, I just need Q3 to get it together. (14:44) Okay.

Alan Lazaros

(14:45) It is Q3.

Kevin Palmieri

(14:46) It's that Q3 started today. (14:48) That's insane. (14:48) Yeah.(14:49) Q3 today, July, August, September. (14:51) Okay. (14:52) So by the end of Q3, I told her by the end of Q3, I'm going to be dialed in.(14:56) I'm going to be out off at eight. (14:57) By the end of Q3, I'm committed. (14:59) Okay.(15:00) What was my point of all that? (15:01) I am risk averse when it comes to the people that I love and hurting the relationships closest to me. (15:08) So I have a hard time telling you hard truths.(15:11) I have a hard time telling her hard truths. (15:13) I have a hard time telling the team hard truths. (15:15) I have a hard time telling clients hard truths.(15:17) That's gotten way better lately because that's why they signed up. (15:20) And I'm also giving disclaimers more right now. (15:23) I have a hard time sometimes telling listeners, hey, you're most likely going to fail if you don't work hard.(15:28) I'm getting much better at it because that's my truth. (15:32) I am way more risk averse socially than I am in my personal life. (15:38) I jumped into the quarries earlier today, just hammered it.(15:45) I don't feel like that stuff scares me that much. (15:50) And when it comes to success, sending a message, for example. (15:53) So if I want to have a big guest on business growth university, I'll just DM them.(15:59) I don't feel that doesn't scare me at all. (16:01) And that used to scare you a lot. (16:03) So I think it depends.(16:05) So it does depend. (16:06) For the listeners, viewers, where are you the most risk averse? (16:11) And what might that be holding you back from?(16:15) We had somebody ask a question in group coaching about getting more opportunities. (16:21) And Alan said, I reached out to Evan Carmichael one time. (16:27) And I was like, hey, we would like to get more speeches.(16:32) We're essentially doing nothing to get them, though, in fairness. (16:35) You have any advice? (16:37) And he said, however many messages you're sending, just send 100 times more.(16:41) I was like, yeah, OK. (16:42) Yeah, that makes sense. (16:43) Zero times 100.(16:45) Yeah, zero, still zero. (16:46) So we'll send one and then we'll multiply that by 100. (16:49) We were sending more than that.(16:50) But that kind of is the piece of it is if, to Alan's point, if you're afraid of rejection or if you're afraid of potentially rubbing someone the wrong way who doesn't want to get a message from you, it's going to be really hard to win. (17:03) But on the other side of that coin, if you spam all your listeners. (17:08) Yeah, you're in trouble, too.(17:09) You're in trouble. (17:09) You got to find a sweet spot. (17:10) Got to find the sweet spot in everything.(17:12) There's a sweet spot based on the context. (17:15) There's a sweet spot based on the context. (17:16) So we had the Next Level Hope Foundation event last weekend.(17:20) And Steph, who put together the event, she crushed it, was amazing. (17:24) She said, I was diving all over the place because we were playing volleyball. (17:28) And I love volleyball.(17:30) I'm pretty freaking good at volleyball, even though I'm five foot five. (17:33) I was always like, I can spike over the net. (17:36) Come on, we're going to be fine.(17:37) I can't block to save my life, but I can spike like a boss. (17:41) And she said, I set you up a few times to spike. (17:43) Well, I didn't, you know, the little kids, you know, what are we doing?(17:47) You know, I'm going to take it easy on the little ones. (17:49) Steph said, did you learn tumbling or did you teach yourself? (17:53) Because I'm all over.(17:54) I'm doing front flips. (17:55) I'm all over the place. (17:56) I got to get this ball.(17:57) And I said, I just am not when it comes to that type of stuff. (18:00) I don't, I'm not risk averse. (18:02) I don't care.(18:03) I don't even think about it. (18:04) Yeah. (18:04) Your exact response.(18:05) I was there was I wanted to be a stuntman when I was a kid. (18:08) Yeah. (18:09) Yeah.(18:10) I literally had a moment halfway through the day where I was like, I am going to regret this in silence and by myself and nobody will ever know. (18:19) Like I'm, I'm celebrating and I want to have a good time and I want the kids to have a good time. (18:24) I will regret this later.(18:25) I was so sore when I got home. (18:27) My body was beat to shit, but when it comes to that stuff, I've just never been that risk averse, which is like not good. (18:34) That's not a good thing.(18:36) I remember one time I was trying to show off to someone, you know, the, um, the like grill lighters, they have like the clicker and it's like a, it has like a spout. (18:49) Somebody challenged me. (18:50) They're like, you could, there's no way you could like hold that against your arm after I, I held the fire on it.(18:54) And I was like, of course I could fucking. (18:55) Of course I could. (18:57) I'm a genius.(18:58) What do you think? (18:59) And they literally like held it for like a minute and then stuck it on my arm. (19:02) Yeah.(19:03) I had scars for years. (19:05) Yeah. (19:05) And it was just like, I don't even care.(19:07) Then like three weeks later I was like, oh, you're such an idiot. (19:11) I mean, you have a little, you have a little circle hole burned into your arm, sir. (19:16) And I had like three of them and I've, I just, it never used to think are right there.(19:22) Super. (19:23) I remember when we were younger in high school, I used to take the thick thumb tacks and stick them into my arm and it would make this, this like popping noise when it went through the skin. (19:32) And I just, it didn't care.(19:34) I don't know if there was something wrong with me, but when it comes to like physical, I was never afraid to get punched in the face that never bothered me to a detriment. (19:43) I didn't care. (19:45) I didn't care about getting choked out.(19:47) I didn't care. (19:48) That never bothered me when it came to like the physical stuff. (19:51) Don't know why.(19:53) Don't know why. (19:54) I remember one time, you know, the town park. (19:58) So Alan and I grew up in the- He was afraid to have pit stains, but would get punched in the face repeatedly.(20:03) No problem. (20:04) Yeah. (20:04) Nobody, nobody likes pit stains, but everybody looks up to the person who gets punched in the face.(20:09) You know, anybody can get pit stains. (20:12) Kev's entire existence was oriented around significance by being beaten up. (20:16) Yes, pretty much.(20:17) Yeah. (20:17) The town park. (20:18) Typical American male.(20:20) That's me. (20:20) Significance. (20:21) I am so significant.

Alan Lazaros

(20:22) Yes.

Kevin Palmieri

(20:22) Town park. (20:23) You know the town park. (20:24) Oh yeah.(20:25) Alan and I grew up in the same town. (20:26) We used to, we never partied up there together, I don't think. (20:28) But in the winter, one winter I went up there and I got on top of the monkey bars and I strapped into my snowboard and I tried to jump off and do a front flip and the snowboard got caught and I literally landed like on my head.(20:45) And I remember thinking, Alan, I was like a little bit of a rotation away from being in very, very, very bad land of like landing on my head and bad things happening. (20:57) I used to do that shit all the time. (20:59) It was awesome.(21:04) And that's how I became an entrepreneur. (21:11) This has gone a different way. (21:14) I think that's, you know, there's a lot of people out there that don't take any physical risk tolerance.(21:19) There's a lot of people like me who are just reckless. (21:21) You get drunk and you do dumb stuff all the time because your risk tolerance or your risk adversity literally goes away when you drink. (21:30) Yeah, yeah, of course.(21:31) That's why so many reckless things happen. (21:32) Absolutely. (21:35) Hello, hello, hello, NLU listener.(21:37) Thank you as always for listening to Next Level University. (21:40) Real quick, I just want to jump in and let you know about the Next Level Dreamliner. (21:44) This is a journal that I use every single day.(21:48) Achieve your dreams 90 days at a time. (21:50) It breaks down your dreams into goals, milestones, and daily habits. (21:56) We hope you enjoy it.(21:57) The link will be in the show notes. (22:00) I was in last story. (22:02) Let's story and we'll get out of here.(22:05) I told the story a long time ago, a long time ago in a galaxy far, far away. (22:10) I was in college. (22:12) It was during my master's program and me and my buddy.(22:19) All of us had a $2 bill that we all signed. (22:23) And whoever had the $2 bill was the fucking the G, the G, the OG. (22:30) We had two apartments of a group of friends.(22:32) We used to party together in Newport. (22:33) It was the whole thing. (22:34) It was called Love Apartment.(22:35) It was a group of four girls, sweethearts, and then it was Bro Apartment. (22:39) Two guests. (22:40) Very original.

Alan Lazaros

(22:41) Yeah, very original.

Kevin Palmieri

(22:42) Bro Apartment and Love Apartment. (22:43) There's eight of us and we would just, we had a blast, honestly. (22:47) But anyways, so me and my roommate, Manu, we went to, this is when everyone else graduated.(22:51) He stayed back. (22:53) He didn't stay back in school. (22:54) He stayed at the apartment.(22:55) He was working for Microsoft and I was staying for my master's and we would party. (23:02) And this was actually the three and a half months during college where I was completely sober. (23:06) And I remember I was filling my beer can with water because I didn't want to be the socially awkward kid at the frat.(23:13) Girls would get uncomfortable like, hey, are you drunk? (23:15) And it's like, no, not even a little bit, actually. (23:18) So the beer can made people feel better.(23:19) It doesn't matter. (23:20) The point is, plus I didn't want to explain it. (23:23) Well, I'm not drinking and I'm actually trying to turn my life around, you know, I'm just like put water in a fucking...(23:29) I'm going to be a fitness model.

Alan Lazaros

(23:30) I'm going to be a fitness model, you know.

Kevin Palmieri

(23:32) Personally, I'm going to be a fitness model. (23:35) So this is actually when I met my ex. (23:37) Her name is Courtney.(23:38) She's a sweetheart. (23:40) And she was dancing downstairs at a fraternity and she was looking all kinds of good. (23:46) And Emilia and I were in a mature relationship.(23:48) We know we had people before. (23:50) Okay, like my mom's like, don't talk about Courtney around Emilia. (23:53) Like, mom, she doesn't care.(23:55) She's an adult. (23:56) She knows that I had a life before her, right? (23:59) But anyways, so I'm in my master's program.(24:02) She went to Worcester State. (24:03) I went to WPI and she was there and she was looking awesome. (24:06) And I was watching her reject guy after guy.(24:09) I mean, everyone was asking this girl to dance. (24:13) And Manu was always my scout. (24:15) He's like, dude, she wants to dance with you.(24:17) And I'm like, I just watched her reject eight dudes. (24:20) I'm not kidding. (24:21) I counted eight.(24:22) He's like, I will bet you the $2 bill because he added at the time that she will say yes. (24:27) I was like, not a fucking chance. (24:30) She said yes.(24:31) We danced all fucking night. (24:33) I had to give him the $2 bill because he won the bet. (24:36) We ended up dating for five years.(24:38) It's a great relationship too. (24:42) And she's just a sweetheart of a person. (24:44) Genuinely.(24:46) I was risk averse. (24:48) I didn't think she'd, so I didn't shoot my shot. (24:51) I have that thing, similar story.(24:56) I wanted to talk to Emilia. (24:58) I DM'd her multiple times, three times, if not twice. (25:02) I remember on sending the message because it said in her, on her Facebook in a relationship.(25:06) But there was no guys. (25:08) I didn't see any photos of guys. (25:10) It didn't say in a relationship with someone, so-and-so.(25:12) I did my research. (25:14) And eventually I was like, you know what? (25:15) I was lonely Saturday night, nine o'clock, impact fitness.(25:19) And I was like, you know what? (25:20) Fuck this. (25:22) I'm DMing her.(25:23) And I did, and I didn't unsend it. (25:25) I said, true or false, are you in a relationship? (25:28) And she said, yes, a relationship with myself.(25:31) And that was the beginning of us being literally inseparable from that moment. (25:36) Until now, it's been tremendous. (25:38) And luckily I shot my fucking shot.(25:40) And that's kind of the point I'm trying to make, is you got to get in the game. (25:45) I remember. (25:46) You don't have to swing at every ball, every pitch, but you have to swing at something.(25:50) You got to swing at something. (25:51) I remember you and I were in California. (25:53) We were in San Diego.(25:56) Yeah, yeah, yeah. (25:58) Hammering, in and out burger. (26:00) Yeah.(26:00) And I think it was, it was Emilia's birthday. (26:02) And I think, I don't know if you were dating at that point yet. (26:05) I think that was before you guys started.(26:06) Yeah. (26:07) So she had recommended an episode. (26:10) She wanted to do an episode.(26:12) This is back in the hyperconscious days. (26:13) Only time Alan was ever right about an episode. (26:18) We were, this is back when we had the basement studio.(26:23) The studio was in the basement of my mother's home. (26:27) At the time. (26:29) That's where we started.(26:30) God, it was terrible. (26:30) That's actually not where we started. (26:31) We started at my sister's bedroom.(26:34) We technically started in my dining room. (26:36) That's true. (26:37) Technically.(26:38) Your dining room. (26:38) Then it was my sister's old bedroom. (26:41) Then it was my mother's basement.(26:43) Then it was the studio. (26:45) Then it was home. (26:46) Yeah.(26:47) This. (26:48) This, you're looking at it. (26:48) Fifth studio?(26:49) This is the fifth? (26:50) Wait. (26:52) Fourth?(26:52) Something like that. (26:53) Sister's old bedroom. (26:55) Mother's basement.(26:56) No, your dining room. (26:59) And we traveled everywhere for that. (27:00) Remember the traveling podcast?(27:02) We would interview guests from all over.

Alan Lazaros

(27:04) Yeah, it was terrible. (27:04) Yeah.

Kevin Palmieri

(27:05) So your dining room, sister's old bedroom, mother's basement, the studio we had for years, and then this. (27:15) So this is the fifth. (27:16) Whoa.(27:18) Anyways, my point of all that was Emilia had reached out and said, hey, can you guys do an episode on selfishness versus selflessness? (27:29) And we did the episode. (27:31) I kid you not.(27:32) I was like vehement. (27:35) Kev, you don't understand what she's asking. (27:37) You obviously haven't dealt with what she's dealt with.(27:40) I was like, we have to re-record that whole fucking thing. (27:43) That was, I think, one of the only times where I was like, dude, we got to run it back. (27:46) Yep.(27:47) I mean, we obviously had to run it back for recording issues and tech issues and stuff. (27:50) This was one of the only times where it's like, dude, that is not what she wants. (27:53) And I was adamant.(27:54) You remember that? (27:55) You were like, dude, I don't know. (27:57) Yeah.(27:58) That was before we were together. (28:00) Now I realize, okay, I understood her and you didn't. (28:03) I was probably frustrated.(28:05) I was like, dude, fuck, man, you got to crush. (28:09) And now we got to redo the whole goddamn podcast. (28:11) What are we doing here?(28:12) But you're right. (28:14) Now, when you were out slinging $2 bills, let me ask you a question, okay? (28:19) You can't judge me on this.(28:20) You promise you won't judge me? (28:22) No, I can't make that promise. (28:23) Cool.(28:24) You ever spray Axe all over your arm and then light it on fire? (28:28) I absolutely not. (28:29) You never did that?(28:30) Absolutely not. (28:30) Of course not. (28:31) Oh, shit.(28:31) I thought that was going to go in a different direction. (28:33) My buddy and I, when you were slinging $2 bills at frat parties, we used to fill up metal... (28:41) I don't know what it was.(28:44) Yeah, that's a different side of us. (28:45) I almost just broke my laptop. (28:46) You know the...(28:48) You ever get the holiday cookies that come in that blue tin? (28:52) No. (28:53) Okay.(28:53) Of course you do. (28:54) Why would I ask you that? (28:55) You know what I mean?(28:56) Why would I even ask you that question? (28:57) Of course you didn't. (28:58) Just think of a metal tin.(29:00) We would literally spray Axe in it until it would puddle up and then light it on fire. (29:04) At one time, we almost... (29:06) I swear we almost burnt the house down one time.(29:08) Because we used to get drunk and light the tennis ball on fire and throw it at each other and then it would roll into the garage. (29:15) It was cool. (29:16) This is not good.(29:17) This is not a good idea. (29:19) I was not very risk averse, is what I'm trying to say. (29:22) Not in those things.(29:23) Those were terrible. (29:24) Those are bad. (29:25) And again, we're not going to go too far with this.(29:29) We... (29:29) I also was pretty reckless. (29:32) To be honest.(29:33) So, back in the day. (29:36) There's some stories. (29:37) Yeah.(29:38) Snowmobiles. (29:39) Drinking. (29:40) One time we drove the car on the ice.(29:43) I mean, I've done some reckless shit. (29:45) At the end of the day, and this is going to sound dumb because I got in a lot of trouble for driving on the ice. (29:52) We calculated that.(29:54) I'm not kidding. (29:55) Hey, we had pen and paper out and we calculated the dispersion of the surface area. (29:59) That's not crazy to me at all.(30:01) That's what I'm saying. (30:01) Yeah, it's a math equation. (30:03) People were very upset about that.(30:03) That's what I'm saying. (30:04) I said, there's four tires. (30:05) You disperse the weight.(30:06) It was a Subaru Impreza. (30:08) I know how much they weigh. (30:09) We googled it.(30:10) Come on. (30:10) We did our math. (30:11) And the freaking ice was like nine inches thick.(30:14) Yeah, you're fine. (30:15) You drive a tank on that thing. (30:16) No.(30:17) At the end of the day, I do think I was reckless at times, especially snowboarding. (30:22) And I'm grateful that my reckless high confidence with low competence is reckless. (30:34) And I'm glad that we have matured a lot.(30:37) But at the end of the day, for the young men out there in particular, young men tend to be more reckless than young women, statistically speaking. (30:43) But at the end of the day, if you're an adult, maybe you're overly cautious. (30:47) Well, I was going to challenge you.(30:49) High competence and low confidence can also be reckless. (30:53) In terms of being maybe just not optimal in your ability to take risk. (30:59) If you think about it, you and I, we did preschool, kindergarten, elementary school, middle school, high school, college, and corporate.(31:08) No, that's not how my life went. (31:12) No, we didn't. (31:15) Nope.(31:16) No, no, no, we didn't. (31:19) When I lose you, college? (31:20) College, yeah, mostly.(31:22) But you did do corporate. (31:23) I don't think so. (31:24) Dude, I was working in fucking attics.

Alan Lazaros

(31:27) You know, I wasn't going to the office. (31:28) There was no coffee machine.

Kevin Palmieri

(31:30) I will not say it. (31:31) Okay. (31:31) I will not say it.(31:33) You know, they don't deserve to get any fucking extra plugs. (31:37) Kevin did preschool.

Alan Lazaros

(31:40) I think.

Kevin Palmieri

(31:41) Kindergarten, elementary school, middle school. (31:44) Isn't kindergarten before preschool? (31:46) And then you went into a corporation of some kind.(31:49) Is that fair? (31:49) No, I worked at the gas station. (31:51) So yeah, I was at the gas station corporation for a while.(31:55) All right. (31:56) My point is that. (31:59) What was my point?(32:01) This is brutal. (32:04) When it comes to your goals and dreams, you have to be a little. (32:07) Oh, okay.(32:08) It was a little bit reckless for you and I to say, hey, we're going to go all in on podcasting. (32:12) And we're going to quit our full-time jobs. (32:15) And there's three approaches that you can take.(32:17) If you want to build your own business, you can. (32:18) Well, you can do the corporate road, the steady job, the steady paycheck, the benefits, that kind of thing. (32:24) You can do the hybrid model where you have a side gig and your full-time income, or you can do all in.(32:30) I actually don't recommend all in anymore because I think what we did in hindsight was pretty reckless. (32:35) Yeah. (32:36) But I'm also grateful that we did it.(32:37) So if you have very high self-belief, you have very, very, very high pain tolerance and you are not risk-averse, you should go all in on your entrepreneurial endeavors. (32:47) If you are risk-averse, have low self-belief, and you struggle with your fear of failure, you should not go all in at the expense of your full-time career. (32:57) I would concur with that.(32:58) All right. (32:58) What's your next level lesson? (32:59) We got to get out of here.(33:00) It's nine, it's 9, 12, and I'm ready for bed. (33:03) The next level lesson is, where do you fall on this bell curve? (33:08) Zero to 10.(33:09) Are you 10 out of 10 risk-averse? (33:12) Or zero out of 10 risk-averse? (33:13) Zero out of 10 means you're probably reckless.(33:16) You don't calculate anything. (33:17) You're just ready fire without aiming. (33:20) 10 out of 10, you probably need to be way too certain.(33:23) You probably need three days of research before you make a move. (33:26) Neither one of those is optimal. (33:28) Which one is your natural inclination?(33:29) And then which one do you need to work on? (33:33) Yet another opportunity to drive to five. (33:35) That is a law.(33:36) The drive to five is more of a law than the fucking law of attraction is. (33:39) I would put money down on that. (33:41) It's called an optimal stopping problem.(33:43) The drive to five is an optimal stopping problem. (33:45) I don't care. (33:45) It's called the drive to five.(33:48) Around here, it's called the drive to five. (33:51) Did you just connect that that's the same thing? (33:53) I did, yeah.(33:54) But I won't give you that publicly. (33:56) I can't give you that publicly. (33:57) I know, but we're gonna edit that out.

Alan Lazaros

(33:59) No, don't really edit that out.

Kevin Palmieri

(34:03) No, I don't think I ever did. (34:05) And I don't think I ever will again. (34:07) Because that loses me all the credibility of being part of the drive to five.(34:11) Okay, you know what I mean? (34:15) An optimal stopping problem, for those of you who don't know, I know, is you put the nachos in for three and a half minutes, they're burnt. (34:22) You put them in for only 30 seconds, it tastes like shit because the cheese isn't melted.(34:27) The optimal is two minutes. (34:29) That's the drive to five. (34:31) Too much, too little.(34:32) Goldilocks, you mentioned it. (34:35) Everything's an optimal stopping problem. (34:37) Too reckless, too cautious.(34:40) Work hard, work smart. (34:43) Too courageous, not courageous enough. (34:45) Everything.(34:46) The best example, it's from the book, that helped me actually get it, was the parking spot. (34:52) Yeah, the book is Algorithms to Live By. (34:55) Alan suggested it to me.(34:58) Where do you go? (34:59) I mean, do you park, you just pull down the lane and you just take the first spot you see? (35:03) That's probably not optimal.(35:05) But you do eventually get to a point where you cross a chasm and it's like, you're probably not going to get a better spot than this. (35:11) You're probably not going to get a front row spot. (35:12) So there is an optimal spot in there, somewhere between.(35:16) Again, I don't know how to- It's 34%, right? (35:18) I don't remember. (35:19) I don't remember the number.(35:20) Yeah. (35:21) Maybe at some point we'll do an episode on that. (35:23) I would love to.(35:24) What we should do is we should do an episode on three books you're going to hate, but you need to read. (35:28) That's fire. (35:29) That's a future episode.(35:30) All right, cool. (35:31) Next Lemonation, if you are a podcaster and you are looking to level up yourself, level up your podcast, and you want to maybe do what we do, when you turn your podcast into a business, we have another round of the Next Level Podcast Accelerator starting on Tuesday, July 8th at 5 p.m. Eastern. (35:46) It is 12 weeks.(35:48) There is a call every single week over those 12 weeks. (35:52) So it's a 90-day program. (35:53) With the discount code, it ends up being like $96 per month, and you get four calls per month.(35:58) So it's like 24 bucks per call. (36:01) Alan, myself, Amy, we're on those calls. (36:05) I can't imagine a more valuable use of money as a podcaster if you're trying to really get into this, so we'll have a link in the show notes.(36:12) I think we already have like four or five people signed up. (36:15) Take action quick because I don't want you to miss it if it's something you want to do. (36:18) It's $25, less than $25 per session.(36:22) That is the most affordable coaching you'll ever get to my current awareness by design. (36:28) It's designed to be a Mario Kart booster to help you achieve, level up yourself, level up your podcast, level up your business. (36:36) We've done 18 groups.(36:37) We've iterated. (36:38) We've improved. (36:38) This is the 19th time we've done this.(36:41) We never present the same thing twice, so we are always improving and improving and improving and improving, so it will be the best coaching you've ever gotten for 25 bucks a session, less than 25 bucks a session. (36:52) Also, free tomorrow. (36:56) When is this dropping?(36:58) This is dropping on Wednesday, yes, so tomorrow. (37:00) So tomorrow, July 3rd, 5 p.m. Eastern Standard Time, we have our next monthly meetup. (37:07) Building Winning Habits, How Habits Work and How to Sustain Great Ones.(37:12) Kevin and I, I started tracking habits 10 years ago in these little black notebooks. (37:17) I have them over here. (37:17) I actually showed them in group coaching and I used to have a mechanical pencil.(37:21) I would check them off and then we used Google Sheets and we now, every client of mine, almost every client of mine, I think there's one that opted out of this, and team member tracks metrics and habits and that's how they stay on track. (37:36) We're gonna talk about habits, how to build them, how to sustain them, because ultimately, your success is very, very, very, I was asked earlier on a podcast, what's the one most important habit? (37:47) And I said, tracking habits.(37:48) So I'm gonna help you build them, get a streak going on the important things, major in the most important things and stop majoring in the minors. (37:59) The link to register, it is late, I apologize. (38:03) The link to register is in the show notes.(38:05) It's totally free. (38:06) It's gonna be a live training with me and everyone else and we hope to see you there. (38:12) I've been fired yet again from another department.(38:15) Another one bites the dust for the kid. (38:19) I haven't been fired. (38:20) We used to do monthly meetups every month with Kev.(38:22) This is our 43rd.

Alan Lazaros

(38:24) It just makes sense.

Kevin Palmieri

(38:26) It makes sense, man.

Alan Lazaros

(38:26) Yeah, it makes sense.

Kevin Palmieri

(38:27) We can't both be at everything. (38:28) Well, and we're gonna do at some point, I'll do podcast monthly meetups and all of the things are happening and the stuff and the things are happening. (38:36) Very last thing I'm gonna say, I promise.(38:38) Seriously.

Alan Lazaros

(38:38) I don't believe it.

Kevin Palmieri

(38:39) This meetup is specifically to help you reach your potential. (38:44) Health, wealth, and love. (38:45) Those are the habits we're gonna work on.(38:47) Nice. (38:47) All right, cool. (38:48) As always, we love you.(38:49) We appreciate you. (38:50) Grateful for each and every one of you. (38:51) And at NLU, we don't have fans, we have family.(38:53) We will talk to you all tomorrow. (38:55) Keep it Next Level. (38:56) Next Level Nation.(38:59) Thanks for joining us for another episode of Next Level University. (39:03) We love connecting with the Next Level family. (39:06) We mean it when we say family.(39:08) If you ever need anything, please reach out to us directly. (39:11) Everything you need to get ahold of us is in the show notes. (39:15) Thank you again, and we will talk to you tomorrow.