Don’t Start A Journey Without A Timeline (2120)

Commit to the timeline, not just the dream. In this honest and thought-provoking episode, Kevin and Alan explain why success so often fails to show up, and it’s not because of talent. It’s because most people never set a timeline. They share hard-won lessons from building their podcast and business, the power of long-term thinking, and why fake confidence isn’t the same as real belief. If you’ve ever felt stuck, discouraged, or unsure how long to keep pushing, this episode is your roadmap for staying in the game long enough to actually win.

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Show notes:
(2:17) Why do you need a timeline to win
(4:50) Business lessons from a sandpit
(6:02) Commitment in business vs. relationships
(10:22) How long are you really willing?
(14:25) What it takes to be top 1%
(17:07) Next Level Dreamliner: The planner, agenda, journal, and habit tracker to rule them all. Get a copy: https://a.co/d/9fPpxEt
(18:17) Fake belief Vs. Real belief
(24:22) The quiet struggle with self-doubt
(29:32) Bu

🎙️ Hosted by Kevin Palmieri and Alan Lazaros

Next Level University is a top-ranked daily podcast for dream chasers and self-improvement lovers. With over 2,100 episodes, we help you level up in life, love, health, and wealth one day at a time. Subscribe for real, honest, no-fluff growth every single day.

Chapters

• 2:17 Why do you need a timeline to win
• 4:50 Business lessons from a sandpit
• 6:02 Commitment in business Vs. Relationships
• 10:22 How long are you really willing?
• 14:25 What it takes to be top 1%
• 17:07 Next Level Dreamliner: The planner, agenda, journal, and habit tracker to rule them all. Get a copy:
• 18:17 Fake belief Vs. Real belief
• 24:22 The quiet struggle with self-doubt
• 29:32 Building anything real takes years
• 31:51 Why community is a game changer
• 33:02 Outro

Transcript

Kevin Palmieri

(0:00) Have you ever seen, and I'm sure you have, the little animation of a guy who's picking through a diamond mine? (0:10) And there's two versions. (0:13) One, he's right there about to get it, his next strike is going to bring him to diamonds.(0:18) And then the next one is him turning around, walking away. (0:20) I think that is success, kind of, sort of, in a nutshell.

Alan Lazaros

(0:23) I was just on book club and we did a poll of who in here thinks long-term, thinks mid-range, thinks short-term. (0:34) Long-term is 10 years, mid-range is 2 to 5, short-term is one year. (0:39) I think we had 30% long-term, 60% mid-range, and 10% short-term.(0:46) And I'll make that make sense in this episode.

Kevin Palmieri

(0:48) Welcome to Next Level University. (0:51) I'm your host, Kevin Palmieri. (0:53) And I'm your co-host, Alan Lazarus.(0:56) At NLU, we believe in a heart-driven, but no-BS approach to holistic self-improvement for dream chasers.

Alan Lazaros

(1:02) Our goal with every episode is to help you level up your life, love, health, and wealth.

Kevin Palmieri

(1:09) We bring you a new episode every single day on topics like confidence, self-belief, self-worth, self-awareness, relationships, boundaries, consistency, habits, and defining your own unique version of success.

Alan Lazaros

(1:25) Self-improvement in your pocket, every day, from anywhere, completely free.

Kevin Palmieri

(1:31) Welcome to Next Level University. (1:37) Next Level Nation today for episode number 2,120, Don't Start a Journey Without a Timeline. (1:44) So the reason I wanted to do this episode is because in the previous episode, Alan was talking about how for the next meetup, it is going to be the top 10 reasons people aren't more successful or something like that.(1:55) That might not be the actual title, but I was thinking that I think belief is one, obviously, and community and that type of stuff. (2:04) But I am convinced one of the reasons why is because when people start something, they don't have a timeline in mind, and eventually it gets to a place where they're like, hmm, yeah, this kind of sucks. (2:17) I think if you went into it with a timeline, you said no matter what, as long as it's within alignment, I am going to do this for six months, I'm going to do this for six weeks, I'm going to do this for six days, whatever, I'm willing to bet people would be more successful.(2:32) Because I think it's really hard to understand how long something actually takes. (2:36) The stats for podcasting, you have to give it at least two years. (2:40) I mean, that is, if you are successful within the first two years, you are an anomaly.(2:45) If you're not successful at the end of two years, you are like 99.9% of other podcasters, and now you have to get super creative and figure out how to do it. (2:54) But if you think 10 episodes is a lot, I said this in the wrap up of our last group coaching call. (3:01) I said, look, everybody out in the world is going to say you're amazing because you've done 100 episodes, you've done 150 episodes.(3:08) That's a really good start. (3:10) And I don't mean that from a place of ego, I mean that from a place of somebody who understands the time perspective. (3:14) That's a great start.(3:16) But guess what? (3:17) We weren't successful 150 episodes in either. (3:20) We were more successful, I think, statistically, but not really.(3:24) Still broke as shit. (3:25) So if we quit at 150, then we...

Alan Lazaros

(3:29) Were we making any money then? (3:30) I don't think so. (3:31) I think we started coaching.(3:32) We started coaching for free.

Kevin Palmieri

(3:34) I don't remember when that... (3:35) That was 2019, I think. (3:38) We started coaching in 2019.

Alan Lazaros

(3:39) Yeah, we coached for free weekly. (3:41) You're doing half hours or hours?

Kevin Palmieri

(3:43) I was doing whatever.

Alan Lazaros

(3:45) Hours.

Kevin Palmieri

(3:46) Whatever they wanted. (3:47) You can have it all.

Alan Lazaros

(3:47) And eventually it was 50 bucks a session. (3:50) Yeah. (3:51) Because we couldn't keep doing it for free.

Kevin Palmieri

(3:52) But that took... (3:53) Yeah, it took off. (3:53) That took years.(3:54) Well, I was going to say it took off. (3:56) I was going to say that took years. (3:57) My coaching kind of did in hindsight.

Alan Lazaros

(3:58) It didn't feel like it did. (4:00) Your coaching took off. (4:01) I think in hindsight, when I compare to other coaches that I've coached, it's like, oh, Kevin and I had it going on.(4:09) I didn't know.

Kevin Palmieri

(4:10) We did.

Alan Lazaros

(4:10) We had something again. (4:11) At the time, it didn't feel that way, though. (4:12) It was kind of like, wow, this isn't working.

Kevin Palmieri

(4:14) I think that's the other piece of it, too, is even right now, yeah, things are going really well. (4:18) But if we were to stop today, we would never be more successful than we are today. (4:21) And it's just this weird...(4:22) It would stop completely.

Alan Lazaros

(4:23) Yeah. (4:23) It would stop completely. (4:24) Imagine if we stopped right now.(4:26) It would be terrible. (4:26) The whole thing would be gone.

Kevin Palmieri

(4:28) Yeah, it would be terrible.

Alan Lazaros

(4:29) It's like, how long would it take if you built a brand new house? (4:36) How many years would it take for that house to be completely gone?

Kevin Palmieri

(4:40) I feel like we just engulfed. (4:42) Yeah. (4:42) I have a good one.(4:43) I have a good analogy for this. (4:46) When you were a kid, you ever go to the beach and you would dig a big hole and try to fill it with water? (4:50) Oh, yeah.(4:51) You know how the water just goes right through the sand? (4:53) That. (4:55) As long as you keep throwing water in there, that thing will stay full.(4:58) The second you stop filling that thing up with water, it goes dry and then it's done. (5:02) That's it. (5:03) And then you have to start all over again.(5:04) It's a good metaphor for business. (5:05) I feel like that's what... (5:07) That's a good one.(5:08) I think if we made like a little diagram or something. (5:12) But that's my thesis in today's episode.

Alan Lazaros

(5:14) Imagine your digital assets. (5:15) I would love that.

Kevin Palmieri

(5:16) That'd be awesome. (5:16) I can't do it. (5:17) I'm terrible at it.(5:18) Don't know how to do it.

Alan Lazaros

(5:19) I do not have a... (5:19) The shout out, we need a sand castle thing. (5:23) I don't even know how we would do that.(5:25) But yeah, that's my thesis.

Kevin Palmieri

(5:26) I'm being playful. (5:27) Don't actually do that.

Alan Lazaros

(5:28) Don't waste time on that. (5:29) We're joking. (5:31) So let's say, hypothetically, you and I didn't have a long term.(5:36) I... (5:38) Kevin and I playfully joke. (5:41) When we started this podcast, I intended on having a podcast.(5:46) Like forever. (5:47) When I started Conversations Change Lives, it was a YouTube channel. (5:50) It was going to be a podcast.(5:52) I intended on it being forever. (5:55) Here's the weird duality that I've tried to hold. (5:59) When you start something...(6:02) Let me give a better metaphor. (6:03) I've been in long-term relationships in the past. (6:08) When I got into a long-term relationship, it was always because I hoped that it would be the person.(6:15) And when I got to a point where I knew it wasn't, that's when I knew I had to leave. (6:20) So one of my exes, I remember vividly going, Oh, shit. (6:27) That's...(6:27) There's no way this is the person. (6:29) There's no way we're going to get married. (6:30) There's no way.(6:31) So to me, there's no point in it at all. (6:34) Because as a long-term thinker, I know that sounds harsh. (6:38) But the point of the relationship for me wasn't the now.(6:41) It was the investment of the future. (6:43) I don't think that sounds harsh at all.

Kevin Palmieri

(6:44) I think that's probably what's best, honestly, for everybody.

Alan Lazaros

(6:48) I agree. (6:49) I am grateful you feel that way. (6:50) That's...(6:51) I think it sounds harsh to some people. (6:53) I don't... (6:54) Like this business partnership, when I started it, I was like, Okay, this is...(6:58) I hope this is forever.

Kevin Palmieri

(7:00) Yeah, but that, I feel like...

Alan Lazaros

(7:01) You can't guarantee it, but...

Kevin Palmieri

(7:02) But what are you... (7:03) What are you playing? (7:04) Like, what are you working into account in order to come up with the equation?(7:10) You know? (7:11) You're able to extrapolate if-then, if-then, if-then. (7:15) The way that I thought about it was, This is the best...

Alan Lazaros

(7:20) This is what my brain did. (7:21) I went into the future, and I saw me with you and me without you. (7:26) And me with you was better.(7:29) Some of that was based on delusion. (7:32) Some of it was based on truth. (7:33) More of it was based on truth than delusion.(7:35) Here, cheers to delusion. (7:37) And intuitively plus brain, I was like, I'm better with Kev than without him, so this makes perfect sense. (7:42) The whole is greater than the sum of its parts.(7:43) And I'm grateful I made that decision, because like I said, without you, I don't think I would have met Emilia. (7:48) That's like... (7:49) I'll never forget that.

Kevin Palmieri

(7:49) That's my defining... (7:50) That's my defining value that I've brought over the last eight years.

Alan Lazaros

(7:53) It's true, man.

Kevin Palmieri

(7:54) Nice.

Alan Lazaros

(7:55) You know, it all... (7:56) I accept. (7:56) Everything is an accumulated compound effect of all of our past choices.(7:59) And my choice to work with you led me to so much. (8:05) As a matter of fact, you were friends with Bianca, and then I became friends with Bianca through you, and then Bianca was the one who convinced Emilia I wasn't a meathead when I looked like one on Instagram. (8:14) You did look like one.(8:15) I'm just cleaning up my shirt.

Kevin Palmieri

(8:16) I spilled something on my shirt here, so don't let that bother you. (8:19) My bad.

Alan Lazaros

(8:20) The first thing that struck you on my Instagram wasn't intelligent engineer? (8:23) No? (8:24) Back in fitness modeling days?

Kevin Palmieri

(8:25) From Emilia's perspective, yeah, I would guess that's a no.

Alan Lazaros

(8:28) All right, so anyways, back to the episode. (8:33) I always thought as an investor. (8:37) So to me, I wouldn't start a podcast at all unless I, at the time, believed I would be a podcaster forever.(8:43) Like when I made the choice to be an engineer, I thought I'd be an engineer forever. (8:47) I didn't... (8:48) Oh, I'm going to try engineering.(8:50) I feel like that's so rare. (8:51) I know. (8:52) I feel like that's so rare.(8:54) And then when I realized engineering sucked, I went and got my master's in business, and then I was like, okay, I'm definitely going to be in business.

Kevin Palmieri

(9:02) And I was, and that's... (9:03) I feel like it makes sense from the relationship place of... (9:06) I think most people want to get into a relationship assuming that'll be the relationship forever.(9:11) When you cross a certain age, maybe when you're 17, you're probably not thinking that. (9:14) You're probably thinking like, who's the hottest person I can be with, right? (9:18) And then eventually...(9:20) I think that eventually it's like, well, of course, I want a beautiful partner, but I also want somebody who has my core values, my core beliefs, a line, core aspiration, somebody that I can build a life with.

Alan Lazaros

(9:28) Even that's probably a lot more than most people are thinking. (9:31) We have really lost sight of how hyperconscious we've become. (9:35) I was just in book club and we were talking about some stuff and I was like, I don't think anyone's ever talked about this out loud.(9:40) Not that I've ever seen what we were just talking about. (9:44) And you're sitting there going, core aspirations, core values, core beliefs. (9:48) I don't even think...

Kevin Palmieri

(9:49) Well, I didn't even know that. (9:50) I didn't even know that till like three years ago, so... (9:52) I think it was more than that, but...(9:55) Yeah, isn't it wild? (9:56) Well, there's something though, right? (9:58) It's like, we like the same stuff.(10:00) Yeah, because you hear people say all the time, we don't have anything in common. (10:02) What does that mean? (10:03) Yeah.(10:04) Core values and core beliefs. (10:06) Agree. (10:07) Core behaviors, probably more than anything.(10:10) I don't know. (10:11) I don't know. (10:12) But I do think that here's, this is my...(10:17) If I was going to make like a framework out of this or maybe not, maybe like a test. (10:22) Before you're committing to do something, ask yourself how long you're really committing time. (10:28) So if you just got your dream job and it's hard as shit, it's harder than you thought.(10:34) And you're like, ooh, I don't know if I can do this. (10:35) How long are you willing to try? (10:37) If it's two weeks, you don't care that much.(10:40) Or it's way worse, it's way worse than you thought. (10:42) One of two or both. (10:44) If it's like, I don't know, you start something and you just love it so much and you're like, I'm going to dedicate five years to this and see what happens.(10:52) One, you're on the very high end of... (10:54) I know, let me finish. (10:57) One, you're on the very high end of time perspective because most people aren't willing to dedicate five years to almost anything other than like college.(11:05) And two, I'm willing to bet you're going to get way further. (11:08) And in those five years, you might figure out how to do it sustainably, where if somebody says I'm only going to do it for five weeks, there's no way. (11:15) Unless you get lucky.

Alan Lazaros

(11:17) Do you believe that in the opening I said we were on book club, we did a poll of long-term, mid-range and short-term. (11:26) And I appreciated everyone's honesty. (11:27) Shout out to the book clubbers.(11:29) Today was intense, I know. (11:31) If you're sitting in it right now, I know, me too. (11:36) But 30% were long-term, 10 plus years.(11:40) 60% were mid-range, two to five years. (11:43) And 10% was short-term. (11:45) And I asked the short-termer if they would be willing to share, they didn't.(11:48) I said, you don't have to. (11:49) And they just didn't. (11:50) No one came to share with the class.(11:52) So to speak, but from this frame, do you think it's possible to succeed at a very high level without the long-term? (12:03) Yeah, a hundred percent. (12:04) A hundred percent now more than ever.(12:06) Yeah. (12:08) I don't agree at all. (12:09) If you want to be the top of any industry, you have to play for a long time.

Kevin Palmieri

(12:11) You did not say top of any industry, you said successful. (12:15) Those are two very different things.

Alan Lazaros

(12:17) When you say success, do you not percentage? (12:20) I mean, above the statistical average. (12:22) Oh my goodness.(12:24) Above the statistical average. (12:26) So you're talking what, 60%? (12:29) What's the percentile?(12:31) So when I say I'm top one percentile in, I don't know what, 225 Bench is top 1% or whatever?

Kevin Palmieri

(12:37) Probably.

Alan Lazaros

(12:37) Yeah. (12:38) Okay. (12:38) So if you're top one percentile.

Kevin Palmieri

(12:41) Yeah, I would say top 20, top 20%.

Alan Lazaros

(12:48) I don't do that, dude. (12:49) That's so interesting. (12:51) To me, if you're not top 1%, you're not successful.

Kevin Palmieri

(12:55) Yeah. (12:55) I mean, if you think about it, that means 99% of the people listening can't do it. (13:02) Kind of.

Alan Lazaros

(13:03) No, but they could if they want to. (13:05) Yeah, but not all of them. (13:06) They just have to sacrifice.(13:06) No, not all of them. (13:08) But this is why statistics are so fucked up. (13:12) Because all of them could increase the whole bell curve.(13:14) I know. (13:15) Right? (13:15) So this is why I always say, Kevin's quality of life right now is better than the richest person on planet Earth 200 years ago.(13:25) There was no phones, no internet. (13:27) Yeah, yeah. (13:27) Right?(13:27) So the whole bell curve increases. (13:29) Just because you're not top 1% doesn't mean...

Kevin Palmieri

(13:33) I'm thinking like you could become an entrepreneur, if you wanted to be an entrepreneur, and you could have something that does six figures. (13:42) Are you going to be able to travel all over the world and live in a mansion and have a ton of help and have an endless supply of money? (13:50) No, no.(13:52) But in business, if you go at it... (13:55) This is the thing that breaks my brain, and we're having a healthy debate here. (13:59) We've had a lot of healthy debates lately.(14:01) We get off here and Alan's like, dude, are we good? (14:03) Like, yeah, man, I love this. (14:04) This is good.(14:04) I love these episodes because I think it's... (14:07) I think there's... (14:07) Alan does not.(14:08) I think there's so much value in your idea and my idea. (14:12) And like, I don't know what's... (14:15) I agree.(14:16) I don't know how everyone thinks. (14:18) I know how I used to think, and I know how I think, and you know how you used to think and how you now think, and I think that's the beautiful thing. (14:23) Okay, go ahead.(14:24) I love it.

Alan Lazaros

(14:25) So what was I going to say? (14:28) Oh, you know that... (14:30) So there's this thing...(14:33) So Warren Buffett is arguably the most famous investor, not necessarily the best one. (14:41) And he read his first finance book when he was seven years old. (14:44) It's like a legend at this point, quote unquote, in the finance space.(14:51) And they did a calculation of how much his net worth would be if he started at 30 and ended at 60, like most people. (14:59) 12 million dollars. (15:02) Instead of the hundred and...(15:03) I mean, look, I'll look it up right now, but I think it's almost 200 billion. (15:07) So what is Warren? (15:11) I'm going to say it's 138, Bill.(15:13) That's what I'm going with. (15:14) Net worth, no way. (15:15) It's more than that now, brother.(15:23) 169. (15:24) 169. (15:25) And the reason I knew it was more is because the 21st century is going crazy.(15:29) I mean, there was no trillionaires. (15:31) There was no trillion dollar companies. (15:33) 10 years ago, there was no trillion dollar companies.(15:35) Now there's like a bunch. (15:37) Because it's all based on perception. (15:39) It's not...(15:39) It's perception of value. (15:40) It's not real, which is a whole nother conversation. (15:42) But what was your point?(15:45) The long game. (15:46) I actually don't agree. (15:47) I don't think you can be top 1% in anything.(15:50) I agree with top 1%. (15:52) Top 20, I think you can. (15:53) So what would be the point of that?(15:55) You'd start a company, have six-figure years, and then stop?

Kevin Palmieri

(15:58) It wouldn't even be a company. (15:59) If you're a real estate agent, you'd be a real estate agent. (16:02) You'd make $100,000, $125,000 a year.(16:04) You'd be more successful than most real estate agents. (16:08) And then what, though? (16:09) What would you do after that?(16:10) Lifestyle. (16:13) But... (16:13) You'd do lifestyle.

Alan Lazaros

(16:14) No, no, no, no.

Kevin Palmieri

(16:15) You'd do lifestyle. (16:17) That's just what you would do. (16:18) That would be your career.(16:20) Oh, okay. (16:20) So you would do it in perpetuity, though? (16:23) You would do it in perpetuity, but you would probably try to make the same amount of money and work less over time.(16:29) Oh. (16:30) So that is long-term. (16:32) I don't think you'd go in with that plan, though.(16:34) I think, I don't know. (16:36) Again, for me...

Alan Lazaros

(16:37) Did you not go into podcasting saying, I'm going to be a podcaster forever?

Kevin Palmieri

(16:40) No, God no. (16:40) You said, I want to be like Joe Rogan. (16:42) I was delusional.(16:45) And I do not aspire to... (16:47) I don't want to be anything like Joe Rogan anymore. (16:49) Yeah.(16:49) I wanted to find out how to do it sustainably. (16:53) What did you think you'd do when you were 50? (16:56) I had no fucking clue.(16:57) I hoped I'd be a podcaster. (16:59) I think. (16:59) I didn't think I would.

Alan Lazaros

(17:01) What did you think you'd do at 35? (17:04) How long did you think you'd be a podcaster? (17:08) Hello, hello, hello, NLU listener.(17:11) Thank you, as always, for listening to Next Level University. (17:14) Real quick, I just want to jump in and let you know about the Next Level Dreamliner. (17:18) This is a journal that I use every single day.(17:21) Achieve your dreams 90 days at a time. (17:24) Breaks down your dreams into goals, milestones, and daily habits. (17:29) We hope you enjoy it.(17:30) The link will be in the show notes.

Kevin Palmieri

(17:34) When you started, Hyperconscious Pod, you started this shit. (17:37) I didn't. (17:37) There was zero plan of how long I'd do it for.(17:40) That is so alarming. (17:41) Oh, I'm not saying that. (17:42) With all the love.(17:43) Yeah, yeah, I'm not saying that's the way to do it. (17:44) That's why I'm so... (17:45) No wonder you kept your job.(17:47) I didn't keep it long enough. (17:49) I quit my job before I decided to start something. (17:50) I should have kept it longer and saved more money.(17:52) I didn't fucking know. (17:54) That's how short-term I was. (17:55) I assumed, yeah, we'll make money fast enough.(17:58) No. (18:00) No. (18:01) But I do think...

Alan Lazaros

(18:02) I thought we'd make money faster.

Kevin Palmieri

(18:03) I did. (18:03) I do think you can be top 20% without having a super long-term future vision.

Alan Lazaros

(18:09) You can stumble upon it. (18:10) You're not going to... (18:11) Put it this way.(18:14) You're always going to be better off if you decide in advance. (18:17) I agree. (18:17) Because...(18:18) I agree. (18:19) Brian Tracy says this in one of his books. (18:21) I love Brian Tracy's work.(18:24) If you want some solid fundamental personal development, Brian Tracy books, they're just boring as hell, but they're solid. (18:31) I've said that a thousand times. (18:32) I just can't...(18:33) You know, the guy had it.

Kevin Palmieri

(18:33) What a shining endorsement for B. (18:35) Tracy.

Alan Lazaros

(18:35) Boring as shit. (18:37) But... (18:38) Solid fundamentals.(18:39) That's what I feel like we are. (18:40) Boring as shit, but solid fundamentals. (18:42) Hopefully not with all our debating lately.(18:44) Much younger. (18:45) Some of that's entertaining with Kevin talking about lighting his fucking arm on fire. (18:48) Okay, so for those of you who don't know, Kevin, when he was a kid, used to put...(18:52) I wasn't a kid.

Kevin Palmieri

(18:53) I was older than you would probably think. (18:56) Okay.

Alan Lazaros

(18:59) So, what was I talking about with Brian Tracy? (19:00) Oh, continuous improvement formula. (19:04) He said if you get one percent better every day for a full year, you get a thousand.(19:09) No, I can't even... (19:10) I can't quote it anymore because I don't... (19:12) I used to have that memorized.(19:13) What else did Brian Tracy talk about? (19:16) Why was I talking about Brian Tracy? (19:18) Long-term strategy.(19:20) That's... (19:20) Oh, got it. (19:21) Nice.(19:22) There's a bunch of books. (19:23) Searching for excellence. (19:24) Defining excellence.(19:25) There's a bunch of excellence books. (19:27) And I don't know the authors. (19:28) I can't quote them.(19:28) I've read one of them and I was like, fuck this book. (19:33) But Brian Tracy references them in one of my favorite speeches. (19:36) He gave a speech.(19:36) I have it on my YouTube saved. (19:37) It's world-class. (19:40) And he talks about the excellence books and how all the people that they've studied that are the top one percent in their field decided in advance to do it.(19:49) That's not a coincidence. (19:50) You can't like go into an industry and just be like, oh, I hope I do well. (19:55) And I know this is going to sound pretentious, but please bear with me on the thought.(19:59) Because in the science, this is true. (20:02) I decided to get straight A's in high school and then I went and did it. (20:07) There's no way you're going to stumble upon straight A's unless you're a fucking genius.(20:12) Because I would much rather have played video games. (20:15) There were nights when I almost didn't get straight A's. (20:18) Like I had to make sure I talk about the 89 in honors English for a reason.(20:23) I never took honors English again after that because it was too hard. (20:26) I had to actually try. (20:27) I was like, fuck this.(20:29) I'll never forget Miss Desilets. (20:31) It was we were doing poetry. (20:32) What does this mean?(20:33) I don't care. (20:35) I don't care at all. (20:36) What do you mean?(20:36) What does this mean?

Kevin Palmieri

(20:37) I feel like I would love that now.

Alan Lazaros

(20:38) Oh, it's terrible. (20:39) Yeah, probably no. (20:40) You like words and concepts.(20:41) For me, I'm a math and science guy. (20:43) Like this is dumb in my opinion. (20:44) I do realize in hindsight, it would have been more of value.(20:47) I wish that I had taken it more seriously. (20:49) But I decided to get a certain result in advance because I needed scholarships and financial aid. (20:54) And I couldn't go to college otherwise.(20:56) And I knew I was f'ed if I didn't go to college. (20:59) To me, it was going to be engineer, MBA, Fortune 50 CEO, like my hero, Steve Jobs. (21:06) Or it was going to be lawyer, politician, president.(21:08) And I decided not to be a lawyer, obviously, because of what we've talked about.

Kevin Palmieri

(21:12) We've gone through that story.

Alan Lazaros

(21:13) Kev was in the jury. (21:14) Yeah, I'll keep it short. (21:15) I shaped history in my own meaningful way.(21:17) It was a mock court case where I dressed in a suit and Kevin was the leader of the jury. (21:25) And just... (21:26) Shout out to Hutch, law class.(21:27) Did you live with Sean at the time?

Kevin Palmieri

(21:30) No, I didn't live there until later in life. (21:33) He was your best friend though. (21:34) Yeah, yeah.(21:34) And I was against him. (21:35) Yeah, he was my brother.

Alan Lazaros

(21:36) Do you know who he was with? (21:37) It was me and Ryan and Sean and who? (21:40) It was two lawyers against two lawyers.(21:43) Was it Brandon? (21:43) And you convicted this woman. (21:44) Was it Brandon?(21:46) Of first degree murder.

Kevin Palmieri

(21:47) She was guilty. (21:48) She was not guilty. (21:49) Here's the thing.(21:50) Here's the thing. (21:51) Number one, nobody ever explained the law to me. (21:54) They didn't explain the difference between first degree, second degree, involuntary, voluntary.(21:58) Nobody explained that to me. (22:00) In my opening statement. (22:01) You probably made me feel...(22:03) You probably attacked me. (22:05) You probably attacked me.

Alan Lazaros

(22:07) You were insecure and didn't like me. (22:08) That was as far as it goes.

Kevin Palmieri

(22:09) Well, that's number one.

Alan Lazaros

(22:10) I was in a full suit.

Kevin Palmieri

(22:11) That's number one. (22:11) You got to know who you're talking to. (22:13) You got to win the jury over.(22:14) That's fair.

Alan Lazaros

(22:14) If I had one clue, I'd know who you're talking to. (22:17) You got to humanize people, you know? (22:19) All right.(22:19) So anyways, my point of this. (22:20) In the excellence books, they talked about how everyone who ended up at the top 1% of an industry decided in advance to do it. (22:29) You're not going to stumble upon that.(22:30) Although I will say I did coach someone named Kanan, who was the top wide receiver in the entire East Coast. (22:36) And he liked basketball more. (22:39) He's like, yeah, dude, I didn't even really like football.(22:41) I wanted to be a basketball player. (22:42) I just wasn't that good. (22:43) And he was in the NFL with Eli Manning.(22:47) He's played with Eli. (22:47) And I'm like, dude, let me get this straight. (22:49) You ended up in the NFL playing with Eli Manning, and you didn't decide to do that?(22:57) And he's like, no, I didn't even really. (22:58) I was like, what?

Kevin Palmieri

(23:00) Can you imagine?

Alan Lazaros

(23:01) Can you imagine if he tried to be in the NFL? (23:05) But you stumble upon, talk about a talent.

Kevin Palmieri

(23:08) For sure. (23:09) I think you should decide based on your level of belief, because that's the only way to do it. (23:15) Well, that's why I didn't have any podcast goals.(23:18) I didn't believe I could do it.

Alan Lazaros

(23:20) I wish you had said that. (23:22) If you were vulnerable and like, dude, I don't believe in myself.

Kevin Palmieri

(23:24) I assumed everybody thought that.

Alan Lazaros

(23:26) Really? (23:28) I assumed everyone had belief.

Kevin Palmieri

(23:30) Yeah, I assumed everybody just was like trying to figure it out. (23:33) That's what I assumed. (23:34) You thought I was just trying to figure it out?(23:35) I assumed you had no. (23:37) I assumed to me you were like a philosopher.

Alan Lazaros

(23:39) I wonder why I sound so delusional.

Kevin Palmieri

(23:41) Yeah, you were like a philosopher, but it was like, brother, you and I are just hanging out, bodybuilding, getting Chipotle. (23:46) What are we going to build something? (23:48) You know what I mean?(23:49) What are we going to build something? (23:51) All right. (23:51) What do you think now?(23:53) Now I think you were terrible at communicating what you knew, is what I think now. (23:58) But now it makes sense. (24:00) But most other people have left already.

Alan Lazaros

(24:01) They're gone.

Kevin Palmieri

(24:03) I didn't need it to make sense. (24:05) Didn't make any sense. (24:06) Needed to make sense back then.(24:07) A hundred percent. (24:08) That's the problem. (24:08) But I didn't believe in myself.(24:10) So how could I believe that I was going to be part of something? (24:13) I didn't know you didn't have belief because you faked it.

Alan Lazaros

(24:15) Well, that was the goal. (24:17) There's a key to my survival. (24:18) How many people do you think are faking belief?(24:22) Okay, you coach some people. (24:23) You coach Amelia. (24:25) Yeah.(24:25) Does she, you know the difference between fake belief and real belief? (24:28) Yeah. (24:29) How many people do you think are faking belief?(24:34) Statistically, you don't have to call anyone out. (24:37) Versus actual belief. (24:39) Like actual grounded, it's I'm going to make it happen or die trying.

Kevin Palmieri

(24:42) I feel like I now think in meat ratios. (24:49) So there's like 99.1 ground beef, 93.7, 85, 50.

Alan Lazaros

(24:53) I had no idea where you were going.

Kevin Palmieri

(24:55) I know that. (24:55) I would say probably 93 percent. (24:59) Probably like 90 percent of people who say they believe in themselves don't.

Alan Lazaros

(25:02) That is so wild. (25:04) I would guess. (25:05) That is 100 percent the main reason why I'm off on perception.(25:10) Because everybody makes it seem like they do.

Kevin Palmieri

(25:14) I still don't believe in my, like I do a ton now, but you, if you're out there and you think I believe in myself, I'm willing to bet it's probably less than you think. (25:22) You just see me in doing this. (25:24) This is like my favorite thing in the world.(25:25) And this happens to be what I have the most reps in. (25:28) I believe in myself more than I ever have by a drastic amount. (25:32) I just don't know.(25:34) Okay, this is, this is a, this is a good point. (25:36) And then we, we got to hop because we've got another episode to do. (25:40) Whether you're watching or listening.(25:43) Who do you think? (25:45) I won't even say that. (25:46) Can you tell the difference between my level of self-belief and Alan's level of self-belief?(25:51) And how obvious is it? (25:53) If it's not that obvious, then I'm probably better at hiding it than you realize. (25:58) Or maybe you just don't know yet.(26:00) I don't really try to hide it anymore. (26:02) This is where it gets wonky though, because you used to sound more confident to some people. (26:06) It's because I was more arrogant.(26:08) Not arrogant. (26:09) I was, yeah, I was, I was, my ego was protecting me from the lack of knowledge.

Alan Lazaros

(26:14) We, we do a, I do a Facebook memory of the day and they've been awesome. (26:18) Dude, I saw 171 yesterday of us. (26:21) Remember I used to do the whole episode, five minute clinic.(26:23) I used to put the whole episode up on Facebook.

Kevin Palmieri

(26:26) Yeah.

Alan Lazaros

(26:26) Yeah. (26:27) Terrible. (26:27) Not great.(26:28) Not great. (26:29) You sound so confident. (26:31) Uh, but maybe only I can tell that I'm not.(26:34) No, no, you. (26:35) Okay. (26:35) Oh, okay.(26:35) Let me rephrase. (26:36) Yep. (26:37) To someone who hasn't been through this journey with you and who thinks screaming into a microphone to portray confidence, to overcome massive insecurity is confidence.(26:48) You sound confident. (26:49) And I'm actually trying to help figure out, do I sound not that confident now? (26:54) Because we're so...(26:56) That's what you've been saying. (26:57) That's... (26:57) I think you sound less confident now.(26:59) I think. (27:00) I don't, I feel like I'm supposed to. (27:02) Yeah.(27:03) I'm not making it wrong. (27:04) I'm just, there's implications.

Kevin Palmieri

(27:05) I don't know.

Alan Lazaros

(27:05) I don't know the answer. (27:06) I just don't.

Kevin Palmieri

(27:07) Same.

Alan Lazaros

(27:07) I don't, I don't either. (27:07) Did we pass five and now we don't say it with our fucking chest? (27:10) You know, I've been trying to bring a little more, a little more oomph into my belief.(27:14) Same. (27:16) I don't know. (27:17) I don't know.(27:17) I don't have an answer for that yet. (27:19) I don't have an answer for that yet. (27:20) Because even back then, no one considered you, uh, maybe not no one, but I don't think people considered you arrogant.(27:27) It's because I was an idiot.

Kevin Palmieri

(27:30) I wasn't that smart. (27:33) So that's all I have.

Alan Lazaros

(27:35) It doesn't make any sense.

Kevin Palmieri

(27:35) When you, when you don't have that, when, what you say is not that accurate, the louder you say it, the more people believe it. (27:43) That's very dangerous. (27:45) It's the, I mean, that is social media in a fucking nutshell.

Alan Lazaros

(27:49) Social media is really dangerous. (27:51) No wonder why I love Brian. (27:52) He just says things that are mostly accurate.

Kevin Palmieri

(27:55) You know, what's super funny slash scary. (27:57) If Brian was our age coming up right now, nobody would know who the fuck he is. (28:02) Not a chance.(28:03) He's boring.

Alan Lazaros

(28:04) It's too boring.

Kevin Palmieri

(28:05) Yeah, he need, like, we need, we need some Brian. (28:09) Give us something.

Alan Lazaros

(28:10) Yeah. (28:10) Yeah. (28:10) You know, shotgun a beer, do a handstand fitness because I'm trying to figure out what about me is actually interesting, which is very little to other people, uh, which is fine.(28:20) That's fine. (28:20) I love fitness though. (28:22) People love fitness.(28:23) I'm a huge fan. (28:24) I can, I can go all in on that authentically. (28:26) And anyone who loves fitness, follow me on Instagram.(28:28) I, I'm going to fitness it up forever. (28:30) I can't even get away from it. (28:31) I love it.(28:32) I fucking love it.

Kevin Palmieri

(28:33) Same. (28:34) And cars. (28:34) I like cars.(28:35) I'm trying to lean into the stuff that I like with the very limited amount of time I have.

Alan Lazaros

(28:39) Nice.

Kevin Palmieri

(28:39) But outside of that, it's probably long-term. (28:41) Let's wrap this up. (28:42) Next level lesson.(28:43) Yeah. (28:48) I sit down and imagine, see how far out you can imagine yourself. (28:54) I think that's probably okay.(28:56) A week from today. (28:57) What, what does it look like a month from today? (28:59) What does it look like the beginning of next quarter?(29:02) What does it look like? (29:03) Six months. (29:04) And when, when it starts to get blurry.(29:07) I would start setting certain meaningful timelines based on where, where the clarity ends and see what happens. (29:14) And if you really mean something to you set a long timeline. (29:19) Cause it's not going to work and nothing's going to happen in a month.

Alan Lazaros

(29:24) Yeah.

Kevin Palmieri

(29:24) It's just not, it's just not unfortunate. (29:27) Especially something. (29:28) You can't get in shape in a month.(29:29) You cannot get in shape in a month. (29:30) Especially if you're building something. (29:32) Like if you're really building something.(29:34) It takes two years to build a foundation and nobody sees that. (29:38) Nobody ever sees the foundation. (29:39) Looks like a, it looks like a disaster zone when you're building a foundation.(29:44) But that's the, those are the important times.

Alan Lazaros

(29:49) I was coaching two individuals. (29:53) They're a couple. (29:53) They're getting married in 77 days and we're reverse engineering everything.(29:58) And I asked them, are you guys trying to dial in fitness wise for, for the wedding? (30:06) And they both are kind of like, no, we're, we feel pretty on track. (30:10) It's really good.(30:12) 77 days out is not that we talked about how in weddings, whenever someone has a wedding coming up, if I could see the numbers, I'd have to do some research. (30:23) I guarantee I would, I would be willing to bet 80%. (30:26) Of people are in the gym two months from their wedding at versus the what 30% normally or whatever.(30:35) I don't know the stats. (30:36) I don't know the stats. (30:37) So I'm making this up everyone.(30:38) Okay. (30:38) Don't, don't quote me on this, but I would, there's a huge increase from what I've seen of prior to a wedding. (30:43) People are exercising consistently for sure.(30:46) And what if you could, what if you could think you can't get in shape in two months though? (30:54) So what if you, what if you have a wedding in five years and you, and you decide to be in great shape for that five years from now, that's going to be a different, whole different human being. (31:03) Because even when I had the exercise earlier, it's like you have 77 days.(31:07) You're not going to be able to transform your entire body in 77 days. (31:10) Yeah. (31:10) You can lean out a bit, but you're not going to, you're not going to build a body comp and a physique out of that.(31:16) So I've always been really long-term thinker. (31:18) I don't know the engineer, whatever prefrontal cortex, but I don't know what, what it's like to think super short-term because I never really have. (31:29) And the only time I thought really short-term was when I was drunk.

Kevin Palmieri

(31:34) Makes sense. (31:35) It makes sense. (31:36) That's where everybody thinks really short-term.(31:38) That's why so many dumb things happen, unfortunately. (31:40) Agreed. (31:41) Right.(31:42) All right. (31:43) Cool. (31:44) Next up, a nation.(31:45) If you're looking for a group of amazing people who talk about weird stuff like this, I guess this isn't that weird, but I don't know if you're sitting around the dinner table with your family and you're talking about, Hey, how long into the future are you planning? (31:58) Some people might think you're weird. (32:00) I don't think for sure.(32:01) I think your normal is, I think your normal is as shit in the best way. (32:04) If you're looking for that type of stuff, we have a private Facebook group called next level nation. (32:08) There's posts every day.(32:09) One of the biggest pillars to success is community. (32:11) Join a next level one.

Alan Lazaros

(32:13) We just finished book club earlier. (32:16) Willpower by Roy Baumeister and John Tierney. (32:19) Every Saturday, 1230 PM Eastern Standard Time.(32:22) We've been doing this for four and a half years. (32:23) I opened the meeting today with, we are here to reach our potential. (32:27) I'm not here to be your friend.(32:28) You will be triggered. (32:29) That's okay. (32:30) Sit with it.(32:31) My only goal is to help you think differently. (32:33) Think more accurately about yourself, others in the world. (32:35) If you want to think more accurately about yourself, others in the world, we've read 21 books together and we are growing together.(32:40) It is tremendous. (32:42) And the brainstorming sessions, people sharing questions that get asked, there's things I'd never thought about. (32:47) And it's like, holy shit.(32:48) So if you want that, join us. (32:51) It's totally free. (32:52) The link will be in the show notes to register.(32:53) And you don't have to come in at the beginning of a book. (32:56) You can come in and out through whatever chapter. (32:59) And we have a WhatsApp group as well.

Kevin Palmieri

(33:00) So just reach out. (33:02) As always, we love you. (33:03) We appreciate you.(33:04) Grateful for each and every one of you. (33:06) And at NLU, we don't have fans. (33:07) We have family.(33:08) We will talk to you all tomorrow. (33:09) Keep it Next Level. (33:11) Next Level Nation.(33:14) Thanks for joining us for another episode of Next Level University. (33:17) We love connecting with the Next Level family.

Alan Lazaros

(33:20) We mean it when we say family. (33:22) If you ever need anything, please reach out to us directly. (33:26) Everything you need to get ahold of us is in the show notes.(33:29) Thank you again.

Kevin Palmieri

(33:30) And we will talk to you tomorrow.