Success Isn’t a Feeling, It’s a Pattern (2128)

In today’s episode of Next Level University, hosts Kevin Palmieri and Alan Lazaros challenge the idea that success is about outcomes and instead show why it’s the pattern that counts. They open up about burnout, chasing PRs, building better systems, and why real growth rarely feels good in the moment. If you’re someone who pushes hard but still questions your progress, this is your reminder that consistent action matters more than how you feel today.

Digital Asset:
Failing Forward Framework - https://drive.google.com/file/d/1PEl0nsapEo5WQ7hdLt9wYrI_8WZL1URa/view

Free 30-minute Business Breakthrough Session with Alan -
https://calendly.com/alanlazaros/30-minute-free-breakthrough-session?month=2025-04
Free 30-Minute Podcast Breakthrough Session with Kevin -
https://calendly.com/kevinpalmieri/free-30-minute-podcast-breakthrough-session-with-kevin

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NLU is not just a podcast; it’s a gateway to a wealth of resources designed to help you achieve your goals and dreams. From our Next Level Dreamliner to our Group Coaching, we offer a variety of tools and communities to support your personal development journey.

For more information, please check out our website at the link below. 👇

Website 💻  http://www.nextleveluniverse.com

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We love connecting with you guys! Reach out on Instagram, Facebook, or via email. We’re here to support you in your personal and professional development journey.

Instagram 📷
Kevin: https://www.instagram.com/neverquitkid/
Alan: https://www.instagram.com/alazaros88/

Facebook ✍
Alan: https://www.facebook.com/alan.lazaros
Kevin: https://www.facebook.com/kevin.palmieri.90/

Email 💬
Kevin@nextleveluniverse.com
Alan@nextleveluniverse.com

LinkedIn ✍
Kevin: https://www.linkedin.com/in/kevin-palmieri-5b7736160/
Alan: https://www.linkedin.com/in/alanlazarosllc/

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Show notes:
(3:07) The power of a system
(4:26) Why PRs matter to Alan
(6:15) Design a better treadmill
(8:05) At NLU, your success is our purpose. Join our Monthly Meet-up every first Thursday of the month for tools, insight, and the spark to move forward. https://us06web.zoom.us/meeting/register/NzwOxCMxTDyRJg4CLJS1qg
(10:06) Identity, process, and results
(12:04) Micro failure, macro success
(14:40) Outro

🎙️ Hosted by Kevin Palmieri and Alan Lazaros

Next Level University is a top-ranked daily podcast for dream chasers and self-improvement lovers. With over 2,100 episodes, we help you level up in life, love, health, and wealth one day at a time. Subscribe for real, honest, no-fluff growth every single day.

Chapters

• 3:07 The power of a system
• 4:26 Why PRs matter to Alan
• 6:15 Design a better treadmill
• 8:05 At NLU, your success is our purpose. Join our Monthly Meet-up every first Thursday of the month for tools, insight, and the spark to move forward.
• 10:06 Identity, process, and results
• 12:04 Micro failure, macro success
• 14:40 Outro

Transcript

Kevin Palmieri

(0:00) My goal in today's episode is to explain something confusing that Alan said all the time and make it actually land because it landed for me in a new way and I hope it will land for everybody in a new way today.

Alan Lazaros

(0:12) I was looking at clips from the Conscious Couples podcast earlier and I was thinking to myself this is the best I've ever been at speaking, this is the best the studio has ever been, this is the best the video editing has ever been, but I don't feel good about it. (0:26) Why? (0:27) I want to get better and when you're focused on getting better a lot of times that doesn't feel good in the present.(0:32) Welcome to Next Level University.

Kevin Palmieri

(0:35) I'm your host Kevin Palmieri and I'm your co-host Alan Lazarus. (0:40) At NLU we believe in a heart-driven but no BS approach to holistic self-improvement for dream chasers.

Alan Lazaros

(0:46) Our goal with every episode is to help you level up your life, love, health, and wealth.

Kevin Palmieri

(0:53) We bring you a new episode every single day on topics like confidence, self-belief, self-worth, self-awareness, relationships, boundaries, consistency, habits, and defining your own unique version of success.

Alan Lazaros

(1:09) Self-improvement in your pocket every day from anywhere completely free.

Kevin Palmieri

(1:15) Welcome to Next Level University. (1:21) Next Level Nation today for episode number 2128. (1:25) Happy Monday if you're listening to this on Monday.(1:27) Success isn't a feeling, it's a pattern. (1:30) Okay. (1:31) Alan would say something all the time of you're never gonna feel successful, you're never gonna feel successful and I don't agree with that because I feel the most successful I've ever felt.(1:41) Right now? (1:43) Yes. (1:45) Okay.(1:45) I mean, no, in this very moment, no, I feel terrible about myself in this very moment. (1:49) That's what I meant. (1:49) But like today and not today, this week, no, this week I felt like shit.(1:53) This month has been good. (1:55) You're really proving your point here. (1:56) This month has been good.

Alan Lazaros

(1:57) Yeah, you feel good on the macro but on the micro you feel terrible.

Kevin Palmieri

(2:00) Nah, but not like you. (2:02) I don't feel as bad as you do. (2:04) How do you know?(2:05) You don't know how I feel. (2:06) I've heard it, I've seen it, I've witnessed it. (2:09) Yeah.(2:10) I've heard your self-talk. (2:12) Self-talk is not self-talk if you're saying it out loud, baby. (2:14) I can hear what you're saying.(2:17) Go ahead. (2:18) Okay. (2:19) Alan would say you're never going to feel successful and it's like, I don't know.(2:25) I don't know. (2:26) I don't know. (2:27) Do you really feel successful?(2:28) A hundred percent, yeah. (2:29) Really? (2:30) Yeah.(2:31) Why? (2:32) Because I'm more successful than I ever thought I was going to be.

Alan Lazaros

(2:35) You know that. (2:35) Yeah, that's why.

Kevin Palmieri

(2:36) Yeah, yeah. (2:37) Which again, is a...

Alan Lazaros

(2:38) How much more successful you thought you were going to be?

Kevin Palmieri

(2:40) Brother, I never thought I was going to have a podcast that is 2,100 and somewhat episode. (2:45) Like, no, no. (2:46) What are we doing here?

Alan Lazaros

(2:47) Well, I'm very happy for you. (2:48) I am. (2:48) I really, really am.(2:49) I appreciate it. (2:50) We are not more successful than I thought we'd be.

Kevin Palmieri

(2:52) Well, I know.

Alan Lazaros

(2:53) Abso-fucking-lutely not.

Kevin Palmieri

(2:54) I know, I know, I know. (2:55) Okay. (2:57) But we're more successful than I thought we were going to be.(2:59) Well, that's good news for you. (3:00) So little Kev is very excited.

Alan Lazaros

(3:01) Little Kev is very excited.

Kevin Palmieri

(3:03) I think this is... (3:04) So here, here is the thought. (3:07) The thought is if you're comparing to your potential, you most likely will never actually feel successful because you know you're way capable of way more than you're doing.(3:16) But what if we felt successful with the system and with the pattern of behavior? (3:22) So you've done... (3:25) You're averaging what?(3:26) 50 some odd coaching, training podcasts per week?

Alan Lazaros

(3:29) In Q2, I ran the numbers. (3:32) 90 days, 47 on average per week. (3:36) Does that feel like a successful system?(3:44) I would say I'm proud of that and it doesn't feel... (3:48) Which one's first? (3:54) Well, to be completely honest with you, 47 is lower than I'd hoped.(3:58) So it doesn't feel... (3:59) What's your high? (4:00) 56?(4:01) Yeah, the highest I've ever done is like 54 or something. (4:04) Maybe 57 was the highest I've ever done in one week.

Kevin Palmieri

(4:06) That feel like a successful system?

Alan Lazaros

(4:08) Yeah, yeah, yeah. (4:08) It would feel like a successful week. (4:10) So you'll hear, I'm big on PRs.(4:12) So I'll come to Amelia in the middle of the evening or whatever, and I'll say, PR today. (4:19) She said, what do you mean? (4:19) I said, 57 this week.(4:22) 57. (4:22) I just crunched the numbers. (4:24) 57 coaching sessions, trainings, and podcasts.(4:26) I get pumped about PRs because... (4:30) God, I hate having to share this stuff. (4:33) I want to do something that's never been done ever in history.(4:39) And 57 coaching sessions, trainings, and podcasts. (4:41) I know there's been more than that done, but I want to get to the point where it's more than what's ever been done. (4:48) I want to move the...(4:49) I want to take the baton and put it farther than anyone's ever brought it in humanity. (4:54) And that's what really motivates me. (4:56) I don't think you're ever supposed to feel good about anything then.(4:59) Really? (5:01) Well, then I'm right on track. (5:02) Yeah, well, but I think that's...(5:04) Do you think that's accurate? (5:04) I don't know. (5:05) I feel like the 57 feels really good.(5:06) It's a dopamine hit. (5:08) It's like, fuck yeah. (5:09) That's a strong week.(5:10) And then immediately I say... (5:12) One of my clients reached out and she did 512 therapy sessions in Q2. (5:20) Strong work.(5:20) And I said that, right? (5:22) That's unbelievable. (5:23) That is world class.(5:24) And then immediately I said, well, let's make that normal. (5:27) And then after that, my next message was, let's make that child's play. (5:32) I want that to be fucking child's play.(5:36) Like that, you know? (5:38) I do. (5:39) There's levels, baby.

Kevin Palmieri

(5:40) You're really throwing a kink into my episode.

Alan Lazaros

(5:42) I'm sorry.

Kevin Palmieri

(5:42) This isn't going the way...

Alan Lazaros

(5:43) No, no. (5:43) It's okay. (5:44) This is the way...(5:44) There's levels.

Kevin Palmieri

(5:46) Dude, we gotta get better. (5:48) I'm not here to... (5:49) I know.(5:50) No, 100%. (5:50) Rest on my laurels. (5:51) Next level university, baby.

Alan Lazaros

(5:52) Yeah, that's what I'm saying.

Kevin Palmieri

(5:53) You put some respect on it when you throw it my way. (5:55) You better put some fucking respect on it when you put it my way.

Alan Lazaros

(5:58) I do want to share. (5:59) I do know what you mean about being... (6:01) Because Emilia being...(6:02) My relationship with her is so far beyond what I ever thought was possible for me. (6:06) Yeah, yeah, yeah. (6:06) It's un-fucking-believable.(6:08) I feel good about that all the time. (6:10) So I kind of understand, you know? (6:13) It's all based on conditioning and expectations, yeah.

Kevin Palmieri

(6:15) Well, I think that's the thought. (6:16) If I was to think of it as two trains, results versus the system, you might not feel successful based on your results, but you might feel successful based on the system. (6:30) And all success is, is a lagging indicator of the habits that you've been practicing.(6:36) So what if you just ran the system? (6:39) You just ran the system and you focused on that. (6:40) Yeah, what you're saying is correlate your success to the system.

Alan Lazaros

(6:43) That is what I'm trying to say. (6:44) That's fire. (6:45) Yeah, it's really, really powerful.(6:47) But you can't just rest on it. (6:49) Like... (6:49) Well, you can't.(6:50) No, no. (6:50) You have to make the system better. (6:52) Yes.(6:53) So I say this before I leave any coaching session. (6:55) My clients know this. (6:57) There's very few clients who I don't do this with, okay?(7:01) I say, we got to make the system 1% better before we leave. (7:06) I'll go over before we don't change the system. (7:09) And they say, well, I want to get better at reading 20 minutes a day.(7:12) No, no. (7:12) I don't mean get better at executing against it. (7:14) I mean, we need to make the treadmill better.(7:16) Everybody's on a treadmill. (7:19) Design a treadmill that brings you to your dreams. (7:21) And then make the treadmill better.(7:24) It's like, you ever do incline on the treadmill? (7:26) It's fucking terrible. (7:27) Yeah, that was my weight loss.(7:29) Yeah, there it is. (7:30) You got to increase it a little bit each time. (7:32) That's one thing I don't share enough.(7:35) I never do the same thing twice. (7:37) I increase it a little bit. (7:39) The Next Level Sales System, I just added.(7:41) So it's five posts, five likes, five comments, five DMs, five invites, five emails, and five WhatsApp messages. (7:51) And I'm doing, I'm 58 days in a row. (7:53) It's killing me.(7:55) It's a lot. (7:56) It's not easy to do, but I want to see if I can do it. (7:58) That's the point of life, to see what you can fucking do.(8:03) Like, I want to see if I can do it. (8:06) NLU listener, what is happening? (8:08) I just wanted to jump in here and let you know, if you want to get to the Next Level faster, we have a free virtual monthly meetup at the first Thursday of every month.(8:17) You can connect with like-minded people and become a bigger part of this amazing global community. (8:23) The link to register will be in the show notes.

Kevin Palmieri

(8:27) This would be a very different podcast if it was just you. (8:31) BGU is different. (8:32) I'm going to have to listen.(8:33) I haven't listened yet. (8:35) Well, if you want to grow your business. (8:37) You listen to Podcast Growth University?(8:38) You listen to Podcast Growth U at all? (8:42) No, I haven't. (8:43) Navi has a guest at some point, if I can work you in, if I can maybe get in, kind of get a word in edgewise with, you know, the people and kind of get set up.(8:51) I know you're kind of a busy guy, pretty sought after. (8:54) If you'd like to come on my little podcast about podcasts, maybe something like that. (8:59) All right.(9:00) What's your, I don't know. (9:01) What is your perspective on this? (9:03) Because this is obviously blatantly obvious to the way you think.

Alan Lazaros

(9:07) Well, I want to hear yours because I already told you mine. (9:11) I, there is no, I do feel there is no arriving, like arriving. (9:16) A thousand percent.(9:16) B.S. A thousand percent. (9:17) Okay. (9:17) A thousand percent.(9:18) What is your take? (9:19) Because you do feel successful. (9:20) That's okay.(9:21) I'm not making that wrong.

Kevin Palmieri

(9:22) I feel successful because I think I know, obviously I don't know. (9:31) I couldn't have done it without you, obviously. (9:33) But now I feel like I actually know like what certain things do.

Alan Lazaros

(9:38) You feel in control of the outcome, right?

Kevin Palmieri

(9:40) Yeah. (9:40) I'm like, I'm in the cockpit and I know what does what. (9:43) Nice.(9:43) Now, I don't think I could fly it forever. (9:47) I don't think I could fly it forever and just like never mess something up or crash it. (9:51) But I feel like it's like, I know what this does and I know what this does and I know what this does.(9:54) Or maybe I couldn't fly it as well. (9:56) I'm not ready to be like the number one pilot. (9:58) But I can be a good co-pilot though.(10:00) I feel good there. (10:01) And I think that's for me, I feel successful running the system. (10:06) And maybe that's all it is.(10:08) Like going back to Saturday's episode, I have an awareness of the fact that something needs to change. (10:16) I have an acceptance of, oh yeah, I haven't been doing that as much as I was before. (10:21) Now I need to do that more.(10:22) And then now I need to make sure that becomes normal and then rinse and repeat that forever. (10:25) That's something that's not new, but newer. (10:28) I mean, that's not the way I think naturally.(10:30) So I think I'm just coming into that understanding now more than ever.

Alan Lazaros

(10:35) Do you tie your success, feeling successful based on outcome or process? (10:42) Or identity? (10:44) What's your syntax?(10:46) Mine is probably identity first, process second, results third.

Kevin Palmieri

(10:51) I think this is where it's probably, but it's wonky. (10:54) It depends on what it is.

Alan Lazaros

(10:55) Yeah.

Kevin Palmieri

(10:56) It's so like fitness is, fitness is identity, process, results.

Alan Lazaros

(11:01) That means you're most evolved there, I think. (11:03) That means that's where you're most evolved. (11:07) But ironically, the only time you get there is once you know you're in control of the outcome.(11:11) It's weird. (11:12) Yeah. (11:13) So I feel good about me as a man.(11:16) I feel better about me as a person than I ever have. (11:20) I just don't feel successful. (11:22) I, but will you ever?(11:25) I don't even know because it's a sliding scale. (11:28) Should you ever? (11:29) I feel more successful than I probably ever have holistically.(11:33) Yeah, for sure. (11:34) But I'm not, this will land. (11:36) I know we got to jump.(11:38) There's a asset I'm going to put in the show notes. (11:41) I'll send it to the production team right after this. (11:43) It's something I used to call this micro success for macro failure.(11:46) This is the person who has the perfect outfit in the gym, who takes the perfect videos, they are trying to feel good in the moment, but they're not working their ass off to actually get better. (11:59) That's micro success, success in the moment for future failure. (12:04) The opposite is what I think we're doing, which is the growth mindset.(12:07) It's micro failure for macro success. (12:11) I right now have less than a minute to communicate what I want right now. (12:14) I don't feel good right now.(12:16) I feel terrible. (12:16) This isn't good. (12:18) This isn't effective communication, but that's okay because I'm getting better.(12:22) Getting better doesn't feel good. (12:24) I think that's my point. (12:25) When I watched those clips from Conscious Couple's podcast earlier, I didn't feel good about it.(12:30) It's the best I've ever been. (12:31) It's the best we've ever done, but it's not, my standard increases very, very, very quickly. (12:39) So you're always up against a bar you'll never hit.(12:42) And the moment you hit it, you have to up the ante. (12:45) And that's what Next Level University is. (12:47) You set a standard above where you currently are, and of course, you're going to struggle to hit it.(12:52) And then once you hit it, you celebrate, and then you up the ante. (12:57) And I think climbing meaningful mountains is what I've oriented my life around. (13:03) Dude, what you were doing eight years ago, you would be alarmed.(13:06) That was child's play compared to- For sure.

Kevin Palmieri

(13:08) But I think the reason I feel good about it is because number one, it's a new quarter. (13:13) And last quarter, I did really well. (13:16) Holistically, that was the best quarter I've had in my life, by far, not close.(13:20) And I think there's just a piece of me that's still looking at that, like, yeah, I have pride in that. (13:24) It's like, fuck yeah. (13:25) And I know I can do way better.(13:26) If you rest on that too long, this quarter- 100%. (13:28) Right. (13:29) 100%.(13:29) So what's your take on that? (13:32) If you celebrate too long, the celebration creates chaos. (13:35) If you don't celebrate enough, maybe you're not willing to invest to get the next dopamine hit.(13:41) That would be my Next Level lesson. (13:42) Nice. (13:43) You have one quickly?(13:44) Yeah.

Alan Lazaros

(13:45) Stay in the construction zone. (13:46) I think if you never celebrate anything, it's probably destructive. (13:49) But if all you ever do is celebrate, it's probably destructive too.(13:52) It all depends on who you are. (13:54) For me, Kev needs a little more celebration than I do. (13:59) It's not just me versus Kev.(14:00) Let me explain. (14:01) Alan at 26 needed to celebrate more than Alan at 36. (14:05) Now it's okay, next.(14:07) But what used to be a day off, now it's minutes and moments off. (14:12) And I think that that is what the growth journey is. (14:15) You don't need to celebrate as much as you used to.(14:17) You used to want to take a week or whatever after a trip. (14:19) It's like, dude, we can't do that shit anymore. (14:21) Yeah.

Kevin Palmieri

(14:22) So yeah, 100%. (14:23) All right, cool. (14:24) All right.(14:24) Thank you for vibing with us on the last five episodes. (14:26) I know they were quick and kind of dirty and different than the way we do it. (14:29) I'll just call it out because that is what it is.(14:32) But we will be back on our BS in a very short amount of time. (14:36) As always, dirty, I don't know, whatever. (14:38) Whatever you want to call it.(14:39) Quick and dirty. (14:40) As always, we love you. (14:41) We appreciate you.(14:42) Grateful for each and every one of you. (14:43) And NLU, we don't have fans. (14:44) We have family.(14:45) We will talk to you all tomorrow.

Alan Lazaros

(14:46) Keep it Next Level. (14:47) Next Level Nation.

Kevin Palmieri

(14:50) Thanks for joining us for another episode of Next Level University. (14:55) We love connecting with the Next Level family.

Alan Lazaros

(14:57) We mean it when we say family. (14:59) If you ever need anything, please reach out to us directly. (15:02) Everything you need to get ahold of us is in the show notes.(15:06) Thank you again.

Kevin Palmieri

(15:07) And we will talk to you tomorrow.