The 5 Buckets Of Growth Part 2 (2132)

Growth is lonely, but settling costs even more. In today’s powerful follow-up on the “Five Buckets of Growth”, Kevin and Alan open up about the emotional, relational, and mental shifts that come with leveling up. From letting go of past friendships to outgrowing mentors, they share the tough truths most people don’t talk about. You’ll learn why staying in the “mentee” mindset matters, how passion shapes your circle, and what it takes to keep climbing when others stop. It’s raw, honest, and exactly what you need to reflect on your growth journey.

Digital Asset:
The 5 Buckets of Growth - https://drive.google.com/file/d/1jSxD47p-pz7hFojyYlSuB1ga9tWEK9KV/view

Free 30-minute Business Breakthrough Session with Alan -
https://calendly.com/alanlazaros/30-minute-free-breakthrough-session?month=2025-04
Free 30-Minute Podcast Breakthrough Session with Kevin -
https://calendly.com/kevinpalmieri/free-30-minute-podcast-breakthrough-session-with-kevin

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NLU is not just a podcast; it’s a gateway to a wealth of resources designed to help you achieve your goals and dreams. From our Next Level Dreamliner to our Group Coaching, we offer a variety of tools and communities to support your personal development journey.

For more information, please check out our website at the link below. 👇

Website 💻  http://www.nextleveluniverse.com

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Alan: https://www.instagram.com/alazaros88/

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LinkedIn ✍
Kevin: https://www.linkedin.com/in/kevin-palmieri-5b7736160/
Alan: https://www.linkedin.com/in/alanlazarosllc/

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Show notes:
(3:18) Most people stop climbing
(6:29) What people do when no one’s watching
(10:07) At NLU, your success is our purpose. Join our Monthly Meet-up every first Thursday of the month for tools, insight, and the spark to move forward. https://us06web.zoom.us/meeting/register/NzwOxCMxTDyRJg4CLJS1qg
(13:02) Outgrowing mentors, and going alone
(15:13) She’s done climbing, and that’s okay
(17:23) Apprentice to master
(20:34) Outro

🎙️ Hosted by Kevin Palmieri and Alan Lazaros

Next Level University is a top-ranked daily podcast for dream chasers and self-improvement lovers. With over 2,100 episodes, we help you level up in life, love, health, and wealth one day at a time. Subscribe for real, honest, no-fluff growth every single day.

Chapters

• 3:16 Most people stop climbing
• 6:27 What people do when no one’s watching
• 10:05 At NLU, your success is our purpose. Join our Monthly Meet-up every first Thursday of the month for tools, insight, and the spark to move forward.
• 13:00 Outgrowing mentors, and going alone
• 15:11 She’s done climbing and that’s okay
• 17:21 Apprentice to master
• 20:31 Outro

Transcript

Kevin Palmieri

(0:00) I mentioned that I wanted to do a part two because I feel like we were kind of all over the place, not all over the place, completely all over the place, but not in the direction that I wanted to go. (0:09) So we're going to do a part two on the five buckets of growth. (0:12) Part two.(0:13) One of my clients, I have her doing an exercise that I think is actually really good for her. (0:18) And I leave it to everyone else to decide whether or not it'd be good for you. (0:21) I said, have you ever looked around when you're out in public and asked yourself, is there anyone here I would actually want to trade places with?(0:30) Depending on who I've done this with, that's actually been really good for their self-worth. (0:34) Because I think sometimes we think other people's lives are better than ours. (0:37) When in reality, when we actually do that, it's like, you know what?(0:40) I really do love myself and I really do love my life. (0:42) I think it's good perspective. (0:43) Welcome to Next Level University.(0:46) I'm your host, Kevin Palmieri. (0:48) And I'm your co-host, Alan Lazarus. (0:51) At NLU, we believe in a heart-driven, but no BS approach to holistic self-improvement for dream chasers.(0:57) Our goal with every episode is to help you level up your life, love, health, and wealth. (1:04) We bring you a new episode every single day on topics like confidence, self-belief, self-worth, self-awareness, relationships, boundaries, consistency, habits, and defining your own unique version of success. (1:20) Self-improvement in your pocket, every day, from anywhere, completely free.(1:26) Welcome to Next Level University. (1:32) Next Level Nation today for episode number 2,132. (1:36) As we mentioned in the previous episode and in the opening there, the five buckets of growth, part two.(1:43) I'm going to just get right into it. (1:44) The digital asset is in the show notes, by the way. (1:46) Yes.(1:47) Strong work on that. (1:48) Strong work on that.

Alan Lazaros

(1:48) I saw that.

Kevin Palmieri

(1:49) I saw that come through. (1:49) It's a good asset. (1:50) I'm looking at it.(1:51) It's a good-looking asset. (1:54) It is. (1:54) It is.(1:55) It's a great-looking asset. (1:57) What is the number one thing you think about the five buckets of growth that you did not think of five years ago? (2:04) New perspective, new whatever.(2:05) Whatever it is. (2:09) I don't think I knew how much I was going to have to get rid of the first couple. (2:14) I told myself a story that I wouldn't have to leave anyone behind.(2:18) I really was naive. (2:19) I really thought that we were all going to achieve our goals and dreams together. (2:25) That was just alarmingly untrue.(2:27) Was it worth it? (2:29) Oh, for sure. (2:32) Hindsight's 20-20.(2:34) I've been doing Facebook memories of the day a lot on Facebook and Instagram. (2:40) It's very clear. (2:42) Here's the deal, Kev.(2:44) You and I are less successful than I had hoped. (2:47) Yes. (2:48) You remind me of that often.(2:52) I feel like I've sacrificed a lot in terms of time and effort and relationships and quality time. (2:58) My social life, basically, as I mentioned in the last episode, my social life is wildly less than it ever was in the past because when I was in college or corporate, I had a lot of friends. (3:11) Brought my high school friends to college, college friends to corporate.(3:13) I've said that before. (3:15) What I didn't understand is how few people were going to keep climbing the mountain. (3:19) I don't want this to sound mean or negative, but it is very, very true.(3:25) Some people really just didn't want to climb. (3:28) They're kind of done climbing. (3:31) I was on with a client yesterday.(3:32) I said, when do you want to, quote unquote, retire? (3:37) By retire, I mean you're going to keep growing, but you're not going to increase the percentage anymore. (3:43) You're not going to try to keep the rate.(3:45) There's something called the logistic curve that basically it's exponential and then it shifts to sort of a coast mode. (3:52) At 50, I said, how long do you want to live? (3:55) What do you want to go for?(3:57) Obviously, no one can decide, but you can shoot for it. (3:59) The average life expectancy is around 80, depending on what country you're in. (4:03) He said 100.(4:04) I said, awesome. (4:05) Okay. (4:05) At 50, you want to stop climbing.(4:08) You're still going to climb, but you're going to stop really pushing it. (4:11) You're not going to go for any more PRs. (4:13) It's a good metaphor.(4:15) You're going to still bench press, but you're not going to try to push it and really try to increase the weight. (4:20) He said, yeah. (4:22) I think that the biggest blind spot I had is that I don't ever want to stop, ever.(4:28) He laughed. (4:29) He's like, what about you? (4:30) I'm brother, never.(4:31) I'm never going to stop pushing as hard and as much as I can. (4:36) I'm here to see what I am capable of and that's never going to end. (4:41) I love business because it's like golf.(4:43) You can play this shit forever. (4:47) That's what I didn't understand is when I was a kid, everybody talked about goals and dreams and they all had these big dreams and these big aspirations and they had big goals. (4:55) That has really been very sad for me to see how few people really achieved them.(5:03) I see. (5:03) It's so interesting because the ones that were obvious to me weren't to you and the ones that were obvious to you weren't to me. (5:09) It's like, that was the lesson I needed.(5:11) That doesn't surprise me. (5:12) Like that part. (5:14) Well, what if around you they didn't talk about their goals and dreams that much?(5:18) People do treat you differently than they treat me. (5:20) For sure. (5:21) I always talk about goals and dreams.(5:22) So of course I feel like everyone probably talks more about their goals and dreams with me than they do with other people. (5:27) Yeah. (5:28) And so I just lived in this echo chamber of everyone has big goals and dreams when in reality maybe that's a percentage of them.(5:34) It's not all of them. (5:35) Whereas for me it's like a larger percentage of me. (5:39) Yeah.(5:39) Again, I look at people's actions. (5:42) It's like, I don't care. (5:42) I don't really care what you say.(5:43) Cool. (5:44) It's talk is so easy. (5:46) But brother, people's actions around you change based on who you are.(5:50) I mean, I'm looking at actions when they're not around me. (5:54) Okay. (5:54) Yeah.(5:54) I didn't look enough at that. (5:55) That I'm always like people say, oh, good. (5:58) But what do you mean?(5:59) Give me an example. (6:00) Because back in the day you said you wanted to be Joe Rogan. (6:02) Yes.(6:03) And I was like, okay, perfect. (6:04) Let's, let's fucking do it. (6:06) And every time you were around me, you grinded every time, but I saw you when you weren't, when you were around me, I bet you it was way less than I thought.(6:15) I'm willing with me. (6:16) You're always working. (6:17) I'm willing to bet.(6:18) It's, it's definitely less than you thought, but more than almost anybody else you knew. (6:25) Well, that see, all I'm seeing is it's called the observer effect. (6:29) If you study a zebra and a zebra knows you're watching, it'll be different.(6:33) So you don't actually know what a zebra is really like. (6:35) It's a, it's a stupid fucking metaphor, but ultimately everyone, people, people think, I know people think that, what people say to you versus what they think versus who they are when no one's watching. (6:47) There's a big gap there for sure.(6:49) These are the layers of the BS. (6:51) And, but I, I start from the outside in of like, what are the results that you have? (6:55) And then how do you show up?(6:57) And then everything else you tell me is like, I don't know. (7:00) I don't believe it, but I didn't have certain results either. (7:05) But you were the, but you were the anomaly in that, but I didn't know that.(7:09) I know. (7:10) I know. (7:10) Right.(7:10) And that's very obvious now. (7:13) So that's what I've learned. (7:14) And that's how I view that five buckets differently is, I mean, I had a dozen coaches and mentors when I was in my early twenties, I've been doing this thing called the next level wealth builder with people.(7:23) And it's been awesome. (7:24) And basically what you do is you go back to when you first had your first job and you, the first column is age. (7:30) And then it's the year.(7:31) And then what was your job? (7:33) What was your role? (7:34) How much did you make?(7:34) What was your nest egg and what were your debts? (7:36) And going back is fascinating. (7:38) It's, Oh, you guys really, really didn't think that much about your career because my whole life, I was always focused on building a resume and climbing the metaphorical mountain.(7:52) And that's just the, what's weird about me. (7:54) It's like you with, you probably, I remember you said one time, my association is back to the buckets. (8:01) I've never even, I don't even know if I've even met an engineer.(8:04) There's some people that listen to this show that are like, are you fucking kidding me? (8:07) I mean, I meet engine. (8:08) I mean, I'm around Christina.(8:10) She knows a bunch of engineers. (8:11) She's like, well, all my friends were nerds. (8:13) Same.(8:14) You know, I've known engineers my whole life, but for you, you probably hung out with athletes all the time and everyone was super athletic and everyone lifted weights. (8:22) And it's just, it's the law of attraction, right? (8:23) Just like I knew a bunch of gamers.(8:26) So the law of attraction messes up your head. (8:28) It messes up your brain because whatever you're really passionate about, like I played a lot of basketball. (8:34) You didn't like basketball.(8:35) So you and I didn't connect, but everyone in the town that we grew up in that loved basketball, I kind of knew them. (8:40) I hung out with them. (8:41) I saw them.(8:42) And there's a passions create the opportunity for relationships. (8:51) Like all of your friends in high school, they played baseball. (8:55) Interestingly, not really.(8:57) No, no, I just had a circle. (9:02) What was the common thread? (9:05) There was something in common.(9:09) Probably similar sense of humor. (9:12) You all liked cars. (9:15) Three of you played baseball.(9:16) Most of us liked cars. (9:19) No, that was like my later crew.

Alan Lazaros

(9:20) My earlier crew wasn't, most of them didn't play sports.

Kevin Palmieri

(9:31) I don't know. (9:31) I don't, I think I just probably didn't feel like I fit in with anyone. (9:34) So I just hung out with other people who didn't feel like they fit in either.(9:38) Okay. (9:38) Maybe that was probably a piece of it. (9:40) We all, all felt like we didn't fit in.(9:42) I didn't really like if you're, if you were on the baseball team and you're listening to this, sorry, not sorry. (9:47) I didn't, I didn't like a lot of people on the baseball team. (9:50) A lot of people were arrogant.(9:51) I wasn't, I wasn't, I didn't want to do that. (9:54) I don't, I didn't like hanging out with those types of people. (9:57) Like there's some of them just super toxic.(9:59) I didn't really, yeah. (10:01) I didn't enjoy spending time with those types of people. (10:05) So that was, that was an interesting thing.(10:06) I don't know. (10:09) NLU listener, what is happening? (10:11) I just wanted to jump in here and let you know, if you want to get to the next level faster, we have a free virtual monthly meetup at the first Thursday of every month.(10:19) You can connect with like-minded people and become a bigger part of this amazing global community. (10:25) The link to register will be in the show notes. (10:29) So my biggest blind spot was not realizing how few people are going to go from the nostalgia to the maintenance, from the maintenance to the mentee, the mentee to the growth and the growth to the wisdom.(10:39) One thing that's been alarming for me is how few people are willing to be a mentee. (10:43) That is, I mean, the reason why I, one of the big reasons I've gotten to where I am is because I was always the mentee. (10:54) I was a student in every room.(10:56) And I listened to an episode earlier today with Tori Leto from way back. (11:00) It was episode 178. (11:01) We were in her office live and live meaning like traveled there to her office.(11:08) And I mean, we were so mentee. (11:11) I mean, of course, we learned a ton about relationships for sure from her. (11:15) Now, in hindsight, it's very clear that you and I were not holding our status or our ground in terms of our value.(11:24) We were very much fanboying too much in my opinion, but we got poured into a lot. (11:29) We learned a shitload. (11:30) We used to take notes on every episode.(11:32) We used to assume people knew way more than they did, but it worked because we learned so fucking much. (11:38) So that my lesson is on the opposite end of one, I didn't realize how hard it was to get mentors because most of the mentors we got were a byproduct of you, not me. (11:50) And then two, I didn't realize how hard it was to find aligned mentors.(11:56) I didn't realize how it is a constant dance of people give you ideas of what has helped them. (12:06) And a lot of them are just either not in alignment or they're not how you want to do it. (12:11) And it's like, it's really hard to keep a mentor if you don't appease.(12:16) Yeah, it's really hard to keep for somebody to keep pouring into you unless you appease what they believe. (12:22) That's there's a reason we don't really have mentors like we used to. (12:26) There's a reason because I don't some ways we've outgrown them.(12:30) Well, I think that's I think that's I think it's also one, honestly, I'd rather just do this, you and I and the team and, you know, the clients and do it that way. (12:44) It's almost like most of the mentors are trying to help you make it easier. (12:51) But a lot of times it's easier in misaligned ways.(12:54) You know, one of the reasons why our men, we don't have mentors more than we used to, is because I actually believe we're trying to do something that they've never done. (13:03) That's very clear to me. (13:04) Our goals are very different than what their goals ever were.(13:07) I had a client. (13:08) You've worked with this person, too. (13:10) Her name's Yvette, and she's awesome, awesome person.(13:13) And when she came to me, she said, well, I'm already doing a quarter million a year. (13:17) You know, I want to I want to work a couple days a week. (13:20) And she's she's way further in her life.(13:23) She's in her probably late 40s, mid 40s. (13:25) And I started having her really climb the fucking mountain. (13:28) Like, let's go.(13:29) I mean, you're doing a quarter million without even trying. (13:31) Can we fucking let's do let's do more. (13:34) You can help more people.(13:35) What are we doing here? (13:35) Right. (13:36) And Yvette, if you're listening, love you.(13:38) Big fan. (13:39) Big fan. (13:40) But what the fuck are we doing here?(13:42) You can do so much more. (13:46) You're barely scratching the surface of your true potential. (13:48) I mean, seriously.(13:50) And to me, you're putting in 20 percent effort. (13:55) You could like I mean, but again, she doesn't care. (13:58) And so she eventually said, listen, I had her track and she was killing it.(14:03) And eventually she's like, Alan, I don't want to deal with any of this shit. (14:06) Like, I'm going to you know, I'm going to go elsewhere. (14:08) I said, all right, it's all good.(14:09) But in my head, either she just doesn't care and a quarter million is fine for her. (14:16) But I don't know if she really knows. (14:18) And Yvette, if you were listening, you could message me seriously.(14:22) I don't know if she knows how much her life would at a million a year or at two million a year or four million a year. (14:28) Like, dude, it's exponential what you can do in the world with more. (14:32) But you also have to work exponentially harder.(14:35) Not for her. (14:36) She could work. (14:37) She could 2X her effort and go to 40 percent and 10X her results.(14:43) If she wanted to, because her reputation, she has her PhD, she's already earned the stripes. (14:49) She's already a black belt in people's eyes. (14:51) So it gets real easy later on.(14:53) And to me, she's just not putting much on the court. (14:56) But I also realize she's done climbing. (14:58) She doesn't want to climb anymore.(14:59) She wants to coast into, you know, retirement or whatever. (15:03) And again, she's still pretty hardworking, all things considered. (15:05) So Yvette, you know, don't take this the wrong way.(15:08) At the end of the day, though, that's one thing that's been fascinating for me. (15:13) It's like, why would you want to stop? (15:16) This is the fucking best.(15:19) Like, you guys could, I mean, you could. (15:23) But here's what it comes down to, last piece. (15:26) She's not trying to change the world.(15:28) She's not trying to go down in history as someone who pushed human progress forward. (15:35) And so our mentors are not, we outgrew them quickly because we had to. (15:40) We are trying to do something that's never been done.(15:43) Well, I think the other thing, too, that's hard about mentors is the way the relationship starts is usually the way the relationship stays. (15:49) So if somebody comes into your life as they know more about you, more than you about all the things that you need to know, it's very hard to ever turn that, yeah, or turn that into like a mutually beneficial relationship, I guess. (16:09) I think Michael Burt had that moment when I interviewed him this time because he was a mentor to us, kind of, five years ago.(16:16) And we interviewed him twice on the Hyperconscious podcast. (16:19) Huge fan. (16:19) I listen to his content.(16:20) He's very motivating. (16:22) But when I interviewed him, I could tell there was a part of him that was, oh, you're not at all the same that you were five years ago. (16:30) This is, we're definitely more peers now.(16:32) And again, he's more successful. (16:33) I'm not, but consciousness-wise, it was different, very different. (16:38) And Anthony Trucks, we interviewed years ago and I had him on book club.(16:42) And one of the book club members just said, Alan, it was so weird for you to know more about his book than he does. (16:49) And it's, I don't know more about his book. (16:51) I know more about identity than he does.(16:53) But I've also done 10,911 coaching sessions, trainings, and podcasts, and at least 6,000 of those since the last time him and I talked, right? (17:01) So it is weird when you outgrow mentors. (17:06) And I'm, again, Anthony Trucks, Michael Burt, big fan.(17:08) You guys are killing it. (17:09) It's not about that. (17:10) Like you guys are very successful and more successful than me in certain things.(17:14) However, when I'm their age at our current trajectory, it's not like there's as much they have to teach me as they did originally, right? (17:23) And the apprentice eventually has to become the master. (17:27) I mean, that's part of it.(17:28) And especially if you have bigger goals and they're on the tail end of their sort of grinding. (17:35) Yeah, it's interesting. (17:37) We're on opposite ends.(17:38) Yours is leaving people behind. (17:40) Mine is there are certain people that I would dream of having the opportunity to talk to that I don't really want to talk to anymore. (17:47) Because I don't just the value isn't what I it's just different than I thought.(17:50) All of it is all of it's not opposite. (17:52) That's the same, right? (17:53) Don't you feel like there's some mentors you've outgrown?(17:55) Yeah, but I mean, you're beginning point of leaving people behind. (17:59) You thought everybody was going to come with you. (18:01) I thought eventually I thought they'd keep growing at the same way.(18:04) That was very ignorant. (18:05) I thought eventually the mentors that we had would be like, oh, they're going to be our mentors forever. (18:12) I never thought we would say no to certain mentors.(18:16) I never I never thought that was gonna happen. (18:18) Like David Meltzer or whoever anybody, anybody. (18:22) I never thought that was going to be a thing.(18:24) That's like the weirdest thing for me as somebody who didn't think I was gonna be successful. (18:27) Yeah, you went from let's go to Philadelphia to see David Meltzer speak to him, mentoring us to eventually I don't even know if we want like we're good. (18:37) Thank you so much.(18:37) Yeah, we want to go in our own direction and kind of do our own thing. (18:41) It's weird. (18:42) It's weird.(18:42) And I could understand how if you're listening to that, maybe it sounds entitled. (18:45) It's like, well, I understand completely. (18:48) Yeah, I can completely understand.(18:50) But again, there's core values, there's core beliefs, there's core aspirations, there's alignment. (18:55) You know, there's a lot that goes into it besides somebody can give you the answers to the test. (18:59) Like there's certain answers to the test that I don't want.(19:03) There's certain things I have to learn myself. (19:06) So it's been an interesting journey. (19:07) All right, quickly, next level lesson.(19:09) Yeah, next level lesson is having relationships, in my opinion, are the hardest part of success. (19:18) If you ask any successful person who is climbing in a specific industry in their career or trying to change the world in their own unique way, they will tell you that the greatest pain in their life always comes down to their social life. (19:30) And I think that people without goals most likely have a great social life and they probably fit in the center of the bell curve and they probably don't get attacked very often.(19:39) And that's just the way it works. (19:41) So it's not a you problem. (19:42) It's the way it works.(19:46) My lesson would be goodness. (19:50) I think everybody wants to be in a place where they're the guide or they're the person that has the mentees. (19:56) And that's amazing and exhausting at the same time.(20:00) And again, I wouldn't say I'm a guide. (20:03) I probably in podcasting, right? (20:04) Like, am I 20 years ahead?(20:06) No, but we've done this a long time and we've done it to a very deep degree. (20:11) It's exhausting in the best way. (20:14) That would be my next level lesson.(20:15) So if that's what you're aiming for, it will be different than you expected. (20:18) It will be harder maybe than you expected, but it'll also be more rewarding than you expected. (20:22) I can say that.(20:23) Digital asset will be in the show notes. (20:25) Check in with each one of these buckets. (20:26) And if you don't have enough in the growth and the wisdom bucket, you are in some trouble.(20:31) So just be aware of that. (20:33) Fair. (20:33) Fair.(20:33) All right. (20:33) As always, we love you. (20:34) We appreciate you.(20:35) Grateful for each and every one of you at NLU. (20:37) We do not have fans. (20:37) We have family.(20:38) We will talk to you all tomorrow. (20:39) Keep it Next Level. (20:40) Next Level Nation.(20:44) Thanks for joining us for another episode of Next Level University. (20:48) We love connecting with the Next Level family. (20:50) We mean it when we say family.(20:52) If you ever need anything, please reach out to us directly. (20:56) Everything you need to get ahold of us is in the show notes. (20:59) Thank you again and we will talk to you tomorrow.