Your Adversity COULD Be Your Advantage (2152)

In today’s episode of Next Level University, hosts Kevin Palmieri and Alan Lazaros share raw, real stories of how pain became purpose. From anxiety before interviews to overcoming trauma, they reveal how adversity, when faced head-on, can become fuel for growth. You'll hear inspiring client stories, practical mindset shifts, and a reminder that what hurts now might be shaping your future strength. Whether you're in the dark or climbing higher, this episode will help you see your struggle through a new lens.

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Next Level University Monthly Meetup #44: “Top 10 Reasons People Aren't More Successful” - https://us06web.zoom.us/meeting/register/NzwOxCMxTDyRJg4CLJS1qg#/registration
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Show notes:
(2:15) Adversity can become an advantage
(4:03) Persistence built from childhood struggles
(7:38) Facing the fear, not fleeing it
(11:21) Encouragement for those in the dark
(14:44) At NLU, your success is our purpose. Join our Monthly Meet-up every first Thursday of the month for tools, insight, and the spark to move forward. https://us06web.zoom.us/meeting/register/NzwOxCMxTDyRJg4CLJS1qg#/registration
(22:56) Stop avoiding, start working through it
(25:01) Humans can overcome the unimaginable
(27:06) Outro

🎙️ Hosted by Kevin Palmieri and Alan Lazaros

Next Level University is a top-ranked daily podcast for dream chasers and self-improvement lovers. With over 2,100 episodes, we help you level up in life, love, health, and wealth one day at a time. Subscribe for real, honest, no-fluff growth every single day.

Chapters

• 2:15 Adversity can become an advantage
• 4:03 Persistence built from childhood struggles
• 7:38 Facing the fear, not fleeing it
• 11:21 Encouragement for those in the dark
• 14:44 At NLU, your success is our purpose. Join our Monthly Meet-up every first Thursday of the month for tools, insight, and the spark to move forward.
• 22:56 Stop avoiding, start working through it
• 25:01 Humans can overcome the unimaginable
• 27:06 Outro

Transcript

Kevin Palmieri

(0:00) If somebody was to sit me down and say, hey, you're good at interviewing. (0:03) How did you get as good at interviewing as you are? (0:06) I would say one word and one word simply, anxiety.(0:10) I was anxious before every single interview and I did a buttload of research and I believe my adversity with anxiety became my advantage with PrEP.

Alan Lazaros

(0:19) I have a client who has something referred to as an exceptionality and I talked to him recently about how that has made him exceptional and I'm excited to share that with everybody.

Kevin Palmieri

(0:31) Welcome to Next Level University. (0:34) I'm your host, Kevin Palmieri. (0:36) And I'm your co-host, Alan Lazarus.(0:39) At NLU, we believe in a heart-driven but no BS approach to holistic self-improvement for dream chasers.

Alan Lazaros

(0:45) Our goal with every episode is to help you level up your life, love, health, and wealth.

Kevin Palmieri

(0:52) We bring you a new episode every single day on topics like confidence, self-belief, self-worth, self-awareness, relationships, boundaries, consistency, habits, and defining your own unique version of success.

Alan Lazaros

(1:08) Self-improvement in your pocket, every day, from anywhere, completely free. (1:14) Welcome to Next Level University.

Kevin Palmieri

(1:20) Next Level Nation today for episode number 2,152, your adversity could be your advantage. (1:28) I think your adversity is your advantage, it's probably a better title, but it's also not necessarily true and we're going to dig through the layers on that. (1:36) People ask me all the time, you've done a lot of episodes, you interviewed a lot of people, thank you, I appreciate it.(1:42) Number one lesson. (1:43) Number one lesson you've learned. (1:45) And I've said this before, Alan and I would interview someone and they would just have the most incredible story of overcoming adversity and then using that as an opportunity to give back to the world.(1:56) And I remember we'd interview someone, we'd get done, and I'd be like, what a fucking story. (2:02) Probably never going to hear anything like that again. (2:04) Next week, same thing, just a unique version of that, and it's like, interesting.(2:09) And then eventually, I could literally write a book on the adversities that were overcome. (2:15) I could write a book and every single guest we ever had would have their own chapter. (2:20) Because that is essentially what everybody went through.(2:22) This is why it could be your advantage. (2:24) Not everybody makes it out of the adversity. (2:26) Not everybody turns the adversity into a positive motivation or inspiration or advantage in this case.(2:34) And I think it's a blanket statement to say that that is what's going to make you different, but it definitely is the thing that could make you different for sure.

Alan Lazaros

(2:42) I have a client who identifies his one biggest strength as persistence. (2:49) And I absolutely agree. (2:50) You know who I'm talking about, brother.(2:52) Keep it anonymous. (2:53) So he grew up with what's known as an exceptionality, and I don't know enough about it to articulate it intelligently, but basically, he struggled to walk like everyone else walks. (3:05) That's kind of where I'll leave it.(3:08) And he and I talked about it, we unpacked it. (3:11) And he said, I just wanted to be able to prove that I could still do normal things. (3:15) I wanted to play sports.(3:17) I wanted to do well in school. (3:20) I wanted to hold down a nine to five job. (3:22) I wanted to be able to be normal.(3:23) I just wanted to be normal. (3:25) My whole life, I wanted to be normal. (3:26) And he did the extra work and he's on the high functioning of exceptionality, by the way.(3:32) And I said, brother, he was kind of unpacking all this. (3:35) I said, it looks to me like your desire to be normal, because he's the most successful at his rank in a bank that he works at. (3:46) By a significant margin, he's crushing it.(3:48) I said, it seems like your desire to be normal, actually, you've far surpassed normal. (3:53) And your exceptionality has made you exceptional. (3:55) And now his number one golden metric that he tracks every day, green, yellow, red, is transforming your exceptionality into exceptional.(4:03) And so it made me think of episode because every weakness that you have, in order to overcome the pain of whatever that caused you, usually there's a strength on the other end of it. (4:19) So I'm thinking of someone right now, different person. (4:23) He has tremendous grit.(4:25) Shout out to Brandon. (4:26) Brandon's on the team. (4:27) Brandon's given me permission to brag about him on the show.(4:31) I don't do that with clients because I don't want any clients to think that I'm ever going to air out any of their stuff on here. (4:37) Brandon passed a thousand days. (4:39) He started something a thousand days.(4:41) I think it's a thousand 15. (4:42) I'd have to look a thousand 15 days ago or whatever number it is over a thousand though. (4:48) He started something called miles for mindset, rain, sleet, snow, or shine.(4:54) Brandon runs a mile a day every day. (4:57) And he's done it for a thousand, I think 15, 15 days. (5:01) I coached him yesterday.(5:03) We're looking at his metrics and one of the reasons, and Brandon wouldn't mind me sharing this, why he has so much grit is because he was so scared to confront social conflict. (5:17) One of, he was littler in football. (5:20) He was, I don't know, Brandon's probably five, four, five, five.(5:24) Do you have an ad? (5:25) Five, five. (5:26) Yeah.(5:27) And he was small in football. (5:28) And so he was the little guy. (5:30) So he had to make up for his size in football, AKA his weakness was he wasn't big.(5:38) And he made up for that with grit and work ethic and humility. (5:41) He became team captain. (5:42) He played D, I don't know if it was D three or D two, but he's of the very small percentage of high school athletes that end up playing at the college level.(5:51) And a lot of people said, you're too small. (5:53) You're not going to be able to play in college. (5:54) There's no way.(5:56) And so all of us are born with strengths and weaknesses. (6:02) All of us go through adversity. (6:04) And what I have found in my very first YouTube video is called Real Life Superheroes.(6:09) If anyone wants it, I'll send you a link. (6:10) It's, I watched it with a client recently. (6:14) And it talks about how all the superheroes in all the Avengers films and all this stuff, each one of them has an adversity or a trauma or a weakness that creates a strength.(6:26) And then they use that strength to sort of change the world or help others. (6:30) And I think that all of us resonate with that. (6:32) And the reason we love superhero films is because, you know, like Captain America, for example, he was bullied and he was tiny and that gave him humility and the understanding of what it is to be weak.(6:45) So he could help the weak when he became strong. (6:48) All of us have that sort of narrative, at least to some extent. (6:50) So anyone out there watching or listening, what is your weakness that caused you pain?(6:57) What is your adversity that caused you pain? (7:00) And then what did you develop in yourself to overcome it? (7:03) Back to my original client, he's persistent as hell.(7:08) And I do not say that lightly. (7:10) I've been coaching him for a year. (7:11) The dude is persistent as fuck.(7:14) Just keep coming, just keep coming, just keep coming, just keep coming. (7:18) It's been over a year. (7:19) He's never once missed a session.(7:21) And we do three times a week. (7:23) Never once missed. (7:24) And I know he won't.(7:26) It's who he is. (7:27) That persistence started out in pain of wanting to be normal. (7:32) And now that persistence has actually made him exceptional.(7:35) And I think that that's a really cool metaphor for all of us.

Kevin Palmieri

(7:38) You just, you can't run, you can't run in the opposite direction of the thing. (7:45) You have to run with the thing, but use the thing as motivation or inspiration or necessity. (7:50) Maybe necessity is the best word.(7:52) Necessity is, it's not a feeling. (7:54) It's, it is a feeling, I guess, but it's just way more intense. (7:59) Motivation, you listen to a song, you're like, hell yeah, I can run through a wall here.(8:02) Necessity is like, if I don't run through a wall, I'm going to lose everything. (8:05) Those are two very different things. (8:06) Two very different things.(8:08) That's one thing. (8:09) Other thing, didn't Captain America get on the steroids or no? (8:14) Do you mean the actor or do you mean the, in the comics?(8:18) In the comics, cause we know the actor allegedly did, but in the comics, didn't they inject him with some good good?

Alan Lazaros

(8:26) They, there was a serum to create super soldiers.

Kevin Palmieri

(8:31) I have a Captain American shield. (8:33) Hold on. (8:33) What did, what do you think they had in that serum to make a super soldiers?(8:38) I do see it. (8:38) It's very wee. (8:39) So a large sword would take you down relatively easy.

Alan Lazaros

(8:41) Unfortunately, this is my Captain America shield. (8:45) Yeah. (8:46) I always used to joke about how I'm a blend between Captain America and Iron Man.(8:51) And I think I, I admire Captain America more, even though I think I'm more like Iron Man because Iron Man is really, really intelligent and can be an asshole at times. (9:00) Dingo. (9:01) Yeah.(9:01) So let's talk more about the steroids that, uh, so they injected him with a quote unquote serum. (9:06) Yes. (9:07) Super soldier serum that made him go from tiny, frail, and weak and bullied to very, very, very strong.(9:16) And the reason they chose him is because you knew, you know what it's like to be weak. (9:21) So you won't take your power for granted. (9:23) And people who, and again, that's a good metaphor too.(9:25) Cause I was frail and weak when I was in high school. (9:27) Fucking terrible. (9:28) And now that I'm jacked and bigger and six foot two, I ran into one of my bullies and wanted to beat the fuck out of them, to be honest, but I didn't and could have easily.(9:48) But the truth of the matter is, is when I felt frail and prepubescent and weak, and I couldn't get a girl to look at me, dude, that developed the long game that developed long-term strategic thinking that developed humility that developed grid that developed. (10:02) I mean, if you just get stuff by default, you're going to always not appreciate it. (10:08) Question.(10:09) Yeah. (10:09) Got a question. (10:11) I got a question.

Kevin Palmieri

(10:12) What do we say to someone who is currently going through the adversity and just doesn't see the advantage yet? (10:20) Because it's so easy to say, right? (10:23) It's like I had massive anxiety before every interview.(10:26) So I just prepped a ton and then I got to interview some of the most successful people in the world. (10:31) Awesome. (10:32) And now I'm really good at prepping and I know how to coach other people.(10:35) Awesome. (10:35) Good. (10:36) Good for you, Kev.(10:36) But when you were going through, what was that like?

Alan Lazaros

(10:38) How do what, how do we speak to that? (10:40) Yeah, that's a great question, man. (10:42) Hey, I'm going to ask you the same thing.(10:44) Great interviewer. (10:45) Great interviewer. (10:45) What can I say?(10:46) Kevin's past anxiety just created such a great opportunity here. (10:50) And anxiety attacks too, unfortunately. (10:52) Number one.(10:53) Yeah, I was there. (10:54) Yes. (10:55) Vicks Vaporub, baby.(10:57) I'm kidding. (10:57) I shouldn't have said that out loud.

Kevin Palmieri

(11:00) For context, I was having anxiety. (11:03) I thought I, this was like the first time I ever had a panic attack, maybe the second time. (11:07) And I thought it was asthma and I needed to prove to myself that I could breathe.(11:11) So I said, get me some Vicks Vaporub and I put it on my, on my nose so I could prove to myself that I could breathe. (11:17) I don't think you should do that. (11:18) It's quite strong.(11:19) It's quite a strong scent, but it worked. (11:20) It did work.

Alan Lazaros

(11:21) Yeah. (11:22) So for anyone who, who finds themselves in the dark right now, struggle bus, it's easy to hear someone say, you're going to climb out of this and it's going to be better and you're going to be better for it. (11:38) The truth is statistically speaking, a lot of people don't end up better on the other side, but we don't hear about those people.(11:46) This is called the survival bias. (11:48) So Kevin and I obviously made it out. (11:50) We, I had a very, very challenging childhood.(11:54) You did too, in your own regard. (11:56) And we have become self-made men and done a lot of good things. (12:02) Seriously.(12:03) But there's a lot of people who do not end up on this side. (12:11) So I quit drinking. (12:12) It's been six years.(12:13) I, I've turned a lot of my bad habits into good ones. (12:17) And the first few years after my car accident were really, really brutal. (12:22) So what do you say to someone who's in the dark?(12:27) You, you say, hold on to the fact that you're not the only person to struggle. (12:35) And if you know of people who have struggled tremendously and made it out on the other side, maybe you can be one of those people. (12:46) And if you have the humility to learn from those people and surround yourself with those people and to reach out to those people, be careful who you reach out to.(12:52) But if you think they're not full of shit, reach out and say, Hey, I'm really going through it. (12:58) I'm really struggling. (12:59) And here's the thing when you're really, really, really, really struggling.(13:05) It's actually hard to reach out to someone like Kevin or I, because back in the day, we were more relatable in the sense that we were struggling. (13:13) We used to have people reach out, talking about how their partner would beat them. (13:17) Their partner was cheating on that.(13:18) We have people reaching out all the time, telling us all the stuff that they're going through. (13:23) And I think one of the reasons why is intuitively, they could tell we were struggling too. (13:27) I was miserable in my relationship.(13:29) I, we would talk on the podcast about all these different challenges. (13:32) Now we're so quote unquote next level. (13:35) It's, and again, we are, but it's less relatable.(13:41) Our, Oh damn. (13:42) You know, how are we going to hit a 500 million this year? (13:45) 500,000, half million this year.(13:47) Yeah. (13:47) Not 500 million. (13:48) You've been squirreling away some cash on me.(13:50) You know it baby. (13:51) But that's a great problem to have. (13:54) And I think that as you get older and as you get more next level, and as you become healthier, wealthier, and more in love, your problems become different instead of, Hey, I'm heartbroken and I'm lonely.(14:09) And my girlfriend left me and I'm a fucking loser and I can't get out of my own way. (14:15) It's how do we do better next month than we did this month? (14:19) And how do we grow the company by 30% and those are great problems to have.(14:23) So I'm very grateful for that, but there is some truth to what I'm about to share here, which is you do eventually get to a place where what used to be really hard for you is easy. (14:33) You used to have anxiety before every interview. (14:35) Now you go on interviews all the time and you're totally fine.(14:37) So you're going to get through it. (14:38) That's what you said. (14:39) You're going to get through it, but you might not come out on the other side better unless you do it intentionally.

Kevin Palmieri

(14:45) Next level nation. (14:46) What is happening? (14:48) If you've thought to yourself, I want to try coaching, but you don't really know where to start.(14:53) Group coaching would be a wonderful place for you. (14:55) That's really why we created it in the first place. (14:57) We start a new round every 90 days.(15:00) So if you're hearing this, go to the website, nextleveluniverse.com and we have the landing page where you can actually hold your spot right now. (15:09) Even if there's a group going on right now, you can still lock your spot for the next one. (15:13) The biggest thing that we've seen is as we get closer and closer to the date, unfortunately, some people end up missing.(15:20) The group fills up and they can't do it. (15:22) And then they end up regretting that. (15:23) So please head over to the website.(15:25) The link will be in the show notes and we would love to see you there. (15:29) I always struggle with stuff like this. (15:32) What do you say to someone who's in the dark?(15:36) Because I don't know what would have landed for me necessarily. (15:39) Find something that, find a source of light to start. (15:45) Find something that takes you out of the moment, right?(15:48) Out of the circumstance, out of the situation. (15:51) And then outside of that, it's like, you just got to keep going. (15:58) Even if it's not great, even if it doesn't seem amazing, even if you don't feel like it's changing, you can't stop.(16:10) That's the only wrong answer is to stop. (16:15) Don't assume it'll ever go away, but assume, because I guess my advice is going to be a little bit different than yours. (16:21) Don't assume that it's ever going to go away.(16:24) Assume that you're going to have to make friends with whatever it is. (16:27) And I think by making friends with it, it will go away. (16:32) Not on its own, but like, you're, okay, I'm anxious.(16:36) And again, I understand this is not, this is not super adversity, but I'm anxious because we have an interview to do. (16:42) Ah, fuck that. (16:43) I'm not going to do interviews.(16:44) Okay. (16:44) That's one. (16:45) That's stopping.(16:46) Well, you're always going to have that anxiety. (16:47) That anxiety is never going to go away. (16:49) Well, I want to do this and it's meaningful to me and it's very important.(16:51) And I feel like this is something I'm going to have to overcome. (16:53) How would I overcome that? (16:55) Well, I'm going to prep more than anybody else would.(16:57) Okay, cool. (16:59) I still was nervous when we did the interviews. (17:01) I still was anxious when we did the interviews, but I did them and I learned coping skills and I learned constructive behaviors for lack of better phrasing.(17:10) That, that, I think that's the best answer I can. (17:13) I still get nervous before speeches, but I prep more. (17:16) I still get nervous before things, but I prep more.(17:19) That's super, super helpful. (17:21) Now, if it's like a real, you know, I grew up without a dad, that was, that was adversity. (17:27) I don't know.(17:28) You just got to keep going.

Alan Lazaros

(17:31) Point Kev was sitting on the edge of a bed in a hotel room, contemplating suicide. (17:38) At one point I was punching the ceiling of my car, calling a suicide hotline. (17:41) I wasn't suicidal, but I needed help.(17:44) At one point I was claustrophobic and needed to puff my chest up and walk in and out of doorways after my car accident. (17:52) Because I, my car accident, the head on collision, it, it fucked with my head. (17:59) Crowds bothered me.(18:01) Double yellow lines. (18:02) I couldn't get back in a car. (18:04) When I would get back in a car, I got pulled over like three or four times because I was so far on the right side of the road.(18:09) Cause I was so afraid to cross the double yellows again. (18:12) You just don't see us then.

Kevin Palmieri

(18:14) I know.

Alan Lazaros

(18:15) You don't see us then. (18:16) You see us now as these next level successful people. (18:20) You see the people that are, you don't really have the other end of it.

Kevin Palmieri

(18:27) Yeah. (18:27) You don't ever see somebody going through it.

Alan Lazaros

(18:29) Yeah. (18:30) Almost never.

Kevin Palmieri

(18:31) Very rarely. (18:31) Unless they, it's new adversity that's been introduced.

Alan Lazaros

(18:36) Yeah. (18:36) And the adversity is different.

Kevin Palmieri

(18:38) Yeah.

Alan Lazaros

(18:38) So I don't know. (18:39) It's hard to feel bad for someone who, well, I'm having a really hard time growing the company by 30% this year. (18:45) It's like, seriously, is that your biggest problem right now?(18:47) Yeah. (18:48) That's a great life. (18:50) I said this on an interview earlier.(18:53) He's from Nigeria. (18:55) And I said, I'm really grateful to be here because I remember in the beginning when no one gave a shit and I don't want to ever forget that. (19:04) I never will.(19:05) And I can't, I gotta go. (19:08) I gotta go. (19:08) I can't do an hour and a half.(19:09) I'm sorry. (19:10) Because I have other clients. (19:12) I have 23 clients right now, but I want to, it's a very, it's very difficult to not lose sight when you get successful.(19:21) It is. (19:22) And it's also very difficult when you're failing to stay, hold on to hope. (19:31) When you're, when you're struggling and you're in the dark, you gotta hang on to optimism.(19:36) You gotta stay optimistic and you gotta keep investing and you gotta keep trying to get better. (19:42) You gotta keep climbing. (19:43) You gotta keep climbing out.(19:45) When you're winning, you gotta do the opposite. (19:49) You gotta remember that all of this could go. (19:51) Tragedy can strike at any time.(19:53) I have a bunch of examples of that where death of a family member out of nowhere. (19:59) I remember my dog got hit by a car. (20:02) Uh, that was a just terrible evening.(20:06) And so you, you just can't ever lose sight of how quick you can get humbled, especially when you're winning. (20:16) Because when you're winning, I think the antidote to that is just reaching. (20:23) That's my antidote to it.(20:25) I never get complacent because I'm always reaching for my potential. (20:28) And I did an interview earlier that I actually think was world-class and he was blown away. (20:33) He wants to do a round three and I'm excited and that's great.(20:37) And let's do it. (20:38) And I thought it was world-class too, but I don't care. (20:42) I don't fucking care.(20:43) I want to get better. (20:44) I want to do it even better. (20:46) I'm excited for the interview I'm going to be on right after this.(20:48) I want to do it even better. (20:49) And I think to me, that keeps me humble. (20:52) I'm, I'm, I'm in great shape right now, statistically, but I don't fucking care.(20:56) I want to get better. (20:57) I am so fucking unbelievably dissatisfied with my current physique. (21:03) It's not even funny.(21:05) I think that's good for, for me. (21:07) It's, I don't think it's good if you, when you're down and out, that's not good. (21:11) Don't do that.(21:11) But when you're winning, do that. (21:14) When you're winning, climb higher, baby. (21:16) Aim higher, work harder, get smarter.(21:18) When you're losing, just start with that next step in front of you and just, just try to get inspired and motivated and watch a video. (21:25) And the beginning, it's so weird. (21:30) Principles never go away.(21:31) Fundamentals never go away. (21:32) But what got you here isn't going to get you there. (21:36) You gotta be consistent.(21:37) There's certain principles that will take you forever, but you and I were just talking before this. (21:42) What got us here in business, we have to shift. (21:45) We can't keep prioritizing these other things.(21:48) Like you and I are different now. (21:49) We're more valued. (21:50) We're more valuable.(21:51) We're men. (21:52) We're not boys. (21:53) Like you and I have to fucking grow up and it's hard.(21:56) It's hard because, okay, well, what do we keep? (21:59) Uh, stay consistent. (22:00) Keep doing the episodes.(22:01) Make sure you're getting better every day. (22:04) Okay. (22:04) Those all stay.(22:05) Okay. (22:05) What goes? (22:07) Well, now we have a team.(22:08) Money's different. (22:09) Okay. (22:09) It's so interesting.(22:11) Life never ends. (22:12) It's, it's always a climb. (22:14) It's always a journey.(22:15) And the goals dictate the journey too. (22:18) So you've got to set new goals. (22:19) You've got to set new miles.(22:20) I think the only wrong answer is to stop striving. (22:22) If you're down and out and you're struggling and you're on the ground and you're rock bottom, rock bottom has a basement. (22:26) I think the only wrong answer is to stop striving.(22:29) You got to get better. (22:31) I went, you know, I remember trying to quit drinking. (22:33) Took me five years to quit.(22:35) I kept falling off at weddings. (22:37) Now I'm six years sober. (22:39) That's not an issue anymore.(22:40) I don't have to worry about that anymore. (22:41) You don't have to worry about anxiety before an interview. (22:43) We got bigger problems now.

Kevin Palmieri

(22:45) Four speeches I do for sure.

Alan Lazaros

(22:47) Yeah, exactly.

Kevin Palmieri

(22:47) Less than ever though. (22:48) Less than ever. (22:49) Wrap it in a bow brother.(22:50) I would change my, my, I would change my advice to someone who's in the dark. (22:54) This is what it would be. (22:56) Don't run away from the thing hoping you're never going to see the thing.(23:00) Run with the thing knowing the next time you see it, you'll be able to handle it better. (23:04) I think that's, if I could explain it in any way, the things that I tried to run away from with the hope that I was never going to see them again, it doesn't prepare you to actually see them again, which you most likely are. (23:14) What's your example?(23:15) Anxiety? (23:17) Anxiety. (23:20) Any, anything.(23:21) Insecurity. (23:21) Being insecure about being short. (23:23) What am I going to run away from that?(23:24) No, I have to understand that that is going to be something forever. (23:28) It's always going to be a circumstance and it's always going to have the opportunity to come up. (23:33) So I either pretend it doesn't, you either pretend it wasn't adversity and say, oh no, everything was great when it wasn't.(23:39) And then you just pretend it never happened, which isn't serving anybody most likely. (23:43) You're gonna have to work through it at some point. (23:45) That, I think we want to run away from something with the hopes that we're never going to encounter it again.(23:50) And I think that's fear in a nutshell. (23:54) We had the bachelor party for Matt a couple of weeks ago. (23:57) We went to Myrtle Beach and I texted someone.(23:59) Someone he, Matt wanted to come. (24:00) He's like, good, he's a buddy of mine. (24:02) He'll have a blast.(24:02) He's a blast. (24:03) And he is, he's super fun. (24:04) He said, nah, dude, I don't get on planes.(24:07) That's it. (24:08) You've decided, you've decided that that's it. (24:13) And you're running away from it.(24:17) Forever. (24:18) Forever. (24:19) Knowing that you're never going to allow yourself to encounter it.(24:22) Okay. (24:22) That person will regret that one day. (24:25) They will.(24:26) I believe that because I regretted it. (24:28) And that's one of the reasons I said, look, I, I'm going to have to, I'm going to have to work through this. (24:33) I would not say I have overcome the fear of flying.(24:35) I still don't like it. (24:37) I don't get anxious and stay up all night. (24:39) Like I used to, I'm not freaking out at everything I hear anymore.(24:42) This was the most comfortable plane ride I've ever taken. (24:45) Went to and from Myrtle Beach. (24:47) It's the best it's ever been.(24:48) The only reason it's the best it's ever been is because I've been working on it consistently for the last seven years. (24:54) Even longer than that.

Alan Lazaros

(24:55) You think you'll ever get to a point where it's almost not noticeable?

Kevin Palmieri

(25:00) I think so.

Alan Lazaros

(25:00) Yeah. (25:01) The flight from here. (25:02) It's called exposure therapy.

Kevin Palmieri

(25:03) Yeah. (25:03) The flight from here was the best flight. (25:05) I was fine.(25:06) The flight back, we did like a pretty intense bank over the ocean. (25:09) And I was like, ah, I don't like this. (25:13) I don't really enjoy this.(25:15) So there are certain times, buddy stats. (25:18) I was like, it doesn't help.

Alan Lazaros

(25:19) It doesn't help. (25:19) It doesn't help. (25:20) It doesn't help your, your central nervous system, peripheral nervous system, brainstem, mammalian brain, all that.(25:25) It's all connected to trauma. (25:26) It's all connected to fear. (25:28) It's fight, flight, freeze, and fawn.(25:29) It's you, you really, I mean, at one point I was so messed up mentally after my car accident that I struggled with claustrophobia and now I don't at all. (25:40) I mean, Hey, some of the stuff I see people doing. (25:45) Oh yeah.(25:46) For me, I'm going to a cave. (25:47) You can't not, not a fan, but it's not even noticeable anymore. (25:52) I haven't thought about that in years.(25:54) Seriously. (25:55) As a matter of fact, alcohol used to be a challenge for me not to drink it on the weekends. (25:59) I don't even think about it anymore.(26:00) So you can, you can overcome human beings can overcome unbelievable things. (26:06) And unfortunately not everyone does.

Kevin Palmieri

(26:09) Unfortunately. (26:10) All right. (26:10) We have a meet up tonight at 5 PM.(26:12) If you're listening to this on Thursday, what is it about? (26:15) Top 10 reasons.

Alan Lazaros

(26:17) Most people do not achieve their goals. (26:19) Let me pull this up real quick. (26:23) Okay.(26:23) The top 10 reasons people aren't more successful. (26:26) There, that one, the top 10 reasons people are not more successful. (26:31) These are all targeting the constraints is what this is called.(26:34) So we're going to identify all the top 10 reasons people aren't more successful. (26:37) And then you're going to leave with a checklist knowing which ones you struggle with. (26:43) AKA these are green.(26:45) These are yellow. (26:46) These are red. (26:47) Okay.(26:47) This reason is the main reason that's the bottleneck targeting. (26:51) The constraint is what it's called. (26:52) Please do not come unless you are really, really ready.(26:55) I always say this. (26:55) If you have high humility and you're coachable and you have work ethic, rock and roll, come on in. (27:00) You want to reach your potential.(27:01) It's rock and roll. (27:02) If you don't, please do not come because this is not going to be for fun. (27:06) This is going to be a hardcore training.(27:08) Come ready to take notes. (27:11) Come be prepared for me to be intense and honest. (27:14) And let's, let's get it.

Kevin Palmieri

(27:16) And also, if you are looking for a daily companion to NOE, we do an episode every day. (27:20) You can journal every day, five minutes a day, 10 minutes a day. (27:23) You don't have to do hours and hours and hours.(27:25) We have the next level dreamliner. (27:26) We'll have the link in the show notes below for that. (27:29) All right, cool.(27:30) As always, we love you. (27:31) We appreciate you. (27:32) Grateful for each and every one of you.(27:33) And if you are as committed as you say you are when it comes to getting to the next level, make sure you tune in tomorrow because we will be here every single day to help you get there.

Alan Lazaros

(27:43) Keep reaching for your full potential. (27:45) Next level nation.

Kevin Palmieri

(27:48) Thanks for joining us for another episode of Next Level University. (27:52) We love connecting with the Next Level family.

Alan Lazaros

(27:55) We mean it when we say family. (27:57) If you ever need anything, please reach out to us directly. (28:00) Everything you need to get ahold of us is in the show notes.(28:04) Thank you again, and we will talk to you tomorrow.