Everything Starts With Clarity (2155)

In this episode of Next Level University, hosts Kevin Palmieri and Alan Lazaros share why clarity is the cornerstone of success and fulfillment. From understanding your core values to knowing exactly what to say “yes” or “no” to, they offer practical tools to align your actions with your vision. Expect a mix of real talk, friendly banter, and practical advice that’ll leave you questioning just how sharp your own vision for the future really is.

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Show notes:
(3:30) Defining your life in one sentence
(5:01) The triangle framework for focus and impact
(7:05) Knowing what to do Vs. What not to do
(10:28) Meet your people. Chase your dreams. Level up your life with Next Level Group Coaching. https://www.nextleveluniverse.com/group-coaching/
(13:14) Returning to your true essence after setbacks
(16:40) Three key areas to gain clarity on
(18:06) How reality differs from perception
(19:36) Outro

🎙️ Hosted by Kevin Palmieri and Alan Lazaros

Next Level University is a top-ranked daily podcast for dream chasers and self-improvement lovers. With over 2,100 episodes, we help you level up in life, love, health, and wealth one day at a time. Subscribe for real, honest, no-fluff growth every single day.

Chapters

• 3:30 Defining your life in one sentence
• 5:01 The triangle framework for focus and impact
• 7:05 Knowing what to do Vs. What not to do
• 10:28 Meet your people. Chase your dreams. Level up your life with Next Level Group Coaching.
• 13:14 Returning to your true essence after setbacks
• 16:40 Three key areas to gain clarity on
• 18:06 How reality differs from perception
• 19:36 Outro

Transcript

Kevin Palmieri

(0:00) This might seem elementary, it might not seem that important, and it might seem obvious, but if you do not have clarity, you do not have anything. (0:09) How much clarity do you have on the future that you want to build towards? (0:14) Welcome to Next Level University.(0:17) I'm your host, Kevin Palmieri. (0:18) And I'm your co-host, Alan Lazarus. (0:22) At NLU, we believe in a heart-driven but no-BS approach to holistic self-improvement for Our goal with every episode is to help you level up your life, love, health, and wealth.(0:35) We bring you a new episode every single day on topics like confidence, self-belief, self-worth, self-awareness, relationships, boundaries, consistency, habits, and defining your own unique version of success.

Alan Lazaros

(0:50) Self-improvement, in your pocket, every day, from anywhere, completely free. (0:57) Welcome to Next Level University.

Kevin Palmieri

(1:02) Next Level Nation, today, for episode number 2,155, everything starts with clarity. (1:11) I just want to make sure I'm recording everywhere here really quickly. (1:13) All right, cool.(1:14) So Alan and I were talking, I think we said this live, publicly. (1:18) We got to the end of an episode, and you said, Hey, we never talk about clarity anymore. (1:21) And I think that would be an important thing to talk about.(1:24) And I'll never forget, we went to a Brendan Burchard event, and at this point in my life, I was relatively new. (1:29) I was very new to personal development, all things considered. (1:32) And I remember thinking that I was...(1:34) What do you mean? (1:34) You had been doing it for at least three weeks. (1:36) Three weeks, yeah, three weeks.(1:37) At that point, I was doing it two years.

Alan Lazaros

(1:39) Two years.

Kevin Palmieri

(1:40) But still, in the grand scheme of things, though, it's not that much time. (1:43) I didn't even know who Brendan Burchard was before you told me who he was. (1:46) So it's like, I can't claim.(1:48) But I remember going there, and one of my biggest insecurities was people are going to be so far ahead of me. (1:55) Everybody here is going to be so far ahead of me. (1:57) And I'll never forget, we were in a group, and everybody had to go through and rate themselves on how much clarity they had.(2:03) And I remember... (2:04) Was that on a four-point scale for some reason? (2:05) It was on a weird scale.

Alan Lazaros

(2:07) Yeah, not a fan.

Kevin Palmieri

(2:08) It was on a weird scale. (2:09) It was like zero to four or something. (2:11) I was four out of four.(2:12) Like, I know exactly what I want. (2:14) I don't know exactly how I'm going to get there, for sure. (2:17) That's Jeff's job.(2:18) But I know exactly what I want. (2:20) You keep calling me Jeff. (2:21) No one knows.(2:23) Alan... (2:24) I used to go to the studio that was at Alan's mother's house. (2:27) This was in like 2018, 2019.(2:30) He was always late, and he'd be like in his room, or he'd be in the shower or whatever. (2:34) So I would text him when I got there. (2:35) He would come out and get me.(2:36) I tried to message, I am here. (2:38) It said, I am Jeff. (2:39) He said, I am also Jeff.(2:41) Now we're Jeff. (2:42) We're both Jeff. (2:44) That's the story.(2:45) Dumbest story I've ever heard. (2:46) It's the best story. (2:47) It's the best story.(2:47) Nice. (2:48) So I expected to have the least clarity out of anybody in my group. (2:51) I had probably the most clarity out of anybody in my group.(2:54) And that is one of the reasons that we are here today. (2:58) And again, Alan has had clarity for a lot longer than I. (3:00) But it's not sexy, and it's not...(3:05) I don't know. (3:06) It doesn't make for the most exciting thing to think about. (3:10) But how clear are you on what you want?(3:13) Because the clearer you are on what you want, the better likelihood you can actually chase that thing. (3:19) I'm not saying you'll get it, but you can chase it. (3:21) Quick challenge.(3:22) Please.

Alan Lazaros

(3:23) All right. (3:24) Kevin and I, we didn't plan on this. (3:26) I didn't tell him ahead of time we were going to do this.(3:28) Uh-oh. (3:29) Right? (3:30) One sentence, encapsulate your entire life in one sentence.(3:37) I'm going to go first. (3:40) And then we're going to see how you do.

Kevin Palmieri

(3:42) Okay.

Alan Lazaros

(3:45) All right. (3:46) Give me a second. (3:47) Uh-huh.(3:48) All right. (3:48) I, Alan Lazarus, help people reach their full potential in fitness, personal development, and business through the vehicles of coaching, training, and podcasting.

Kevin Palmieri

(4:02) Okay. (4:03) See, this one's hard for me because I have a couple things that... (4:05) Okay.(4:07) I help podcasters grow, scale, and monetize their podcasts through podcasting, speaking, and coaching. (4:20) Now, one would be like I... (4:22) It's hard because I also...(4:24) When we talk about this, I help people raise their awareness through podcasting, speaking, and coaching also, but what are you going to do?

Alan Lazaros

(4:31) Right. (4:32) The point that I was making with that wasn't just you and I to flex and compete on air. (4:38) I have this thing called...(4:41) So picture... (4:42) God damn it. (4:43) How am I going to do this?(4:45) A triangle. (4:46) Nice. (4:47) With a word in the center.(4:50) For me, it's potential. (4:51) I'm going to use me as an example, but I want you thinking of you. (4:53) Okay.(4:53) Triangle, word in the center. (4:54) Mine is potential. (4:58) The first triangle is your three passions.(5:00) For me, it's fitness, personal development, and business. (5:04) Boom. (5:05) So potential in the center, fitness, personal development, business.(5:07) With me?

Kevin Palmieri

(5:08) I'm with you.

Alan Lazaros

(5:09) Now, there's an upside down triangle within that. (5:12) These are the three vehicles, coaching, training, podcasting. (5:16) Okay.(5:17) One is one to scale. (5:18) That's podcasting. (5:19) One to scale.(5:21) Then there's one to several, which is training. (5:23) What I did on the meetup. (5:24) Thank you, anyone who came.(5:25) I think 22 people registered. (5:27) 15 people came. (5:28) No, 24 people registered.(5:29) 15 people came. (5:30) Thank you for coming. (5:31) It was awesome.(5:33) Coaching, training, podcasting. (5:34) So podcasting is one to scale. (5:36) Training is one to several.(5:37) Coaching is one to one. (5:38) I like one to one best. (5:40) Kevin likes one to scale best.(5:41) We both do both. (5:42) It's a whole fucking thing. (5:43) All right.(5:44) So I, Alan Lazarus, I kind of cheated. (5:46) I set you up for failure. (5:47) Because I do this for a living.(5:49) And I help people get clarity. (5:51) And then now put a giant circle around both those triangles and the one word. (5:54) That encapsulates everything you say yes to.(5:58) If you want to win in business. (5:59) If you don't want to win in business, you don't have to do this. (6:01) If you want to win in business, you everything.(6:03) I tell my clients, everything in that, you say yes to. (6:07) I got asked earlier to be on another podcast. (6:10) He wants to have you, Amelia and I.(6:11) It went awesome, by the way. (6:12) The person you were telling me about went great. (6:14) Kev said, you're either going to hate each other or absolutely love each other.(6:17) I think it's the second one. (6:19) Definitely the second one. (6:20) It was great.(6:23) It's an automatic yes. (6:24) He's aligned. (6:25) And it's a podcast.(6:27) And it's Amelia and I talking about conscious couples. (6:30) Helping people in personal development. (6:32) Awesome.(6:33) Done. (6:34) So when I said, I, Alan Lazarus, help people reach their full potential. (6:37) Potential is the one word.(6:39) In fitness, personal development, and business. (6:40) That's the first triangle. (6:42) Through the vehicles of coaching, training, podcasting.(6:44) I already had done that. (6:46) But I know exactly what to say absolutely yes to and absolutely not to. (6:51) And everything outside of that, I say no to.

Kevin Palmieri

(6:54) Well, it's that's. (6:55) I think when we think of clarity, it's just like knowing what to do. (6:59) But there's levels of knowing what to do.(7:02) And what to do when and knowing what not to do. (7:05) I think a lot of people think clarity is knowing what to do. (7:08) I know.(7:10) That's my argument, at least. (7:12) Right. (7:12) I think that's probably if you, if you went.(7:15) If you're on stage in front of 100 people and you said, what does clarity mean to you? (7:19) I feel like most people probably say that, right?

Alan Lazaros

(7:21) Yeah. (7:22) Everything's paradoxical. (7:23) I think it starts with what you know you shouldn't be doing.(7:25) That's where I had to start. (7:27) 10 years ago, I was everybody's best friend.

Kevin Palmieri

(7:29) I don't think it starts there. (7:30) I know. (7:31) I think for most people.(7:32) I think for most people, it's what you what you should do.

Alan Lazaros

(7:36) Yeah. (7:37) I think so. (7:38) I think it's more intelligent to start with what you shouldn't be doing.(7:42) I mean, everyone can think right now of habits you shouldn't be doing. (7:46) Like, but you can also think of what you should be doing. (7:50) Not necessarily.(7:51) You don't think? (7:52) No, I've, I've found people don't know what to do. (7:55) They definitely know what not to do.

Kevin Palmieri

(7:57) I would trust you on that because you, you definitely work with more people one-on-one than I do.

Alan Lazaros

(8:00) Well, we talked about this not long ago. (8:02) If only 3% of people have goals, then how could you know what strategy to use? (8:07) Strategy is predicated on a goal.(8:09) That's fair. (8:09) And so I think we're all, and I use this metaphor. (8:13) I heard it in a speech once and I, I create my own flavor of it.(8:17) Obviously we are born naked, scared, and ignorant. (8:22) And we don't know who the fuck we are. (8:24) And then we go out into the world and we don't start out as little babies going.(8:30) I know who I am. (8:32) No, we, we go and we make tons of mistakes and we go, oh, I know who I am not. (8:39) And then you hone, hone, hone.(8:42) And when you're 36.

Kevin Palmieri

(8:44) I disagree. (8:45) I disagree. (8:46) Oh, for fuck's sake.(8:47) I was on a podcast.

Alan Lazaros

(8:49) I was on a podcast. (8:50) I actually do love when you disagree, by the way.

Kevin Palmieri

(8:51) I appreciate it.

Alan Lazaros

(8:52) Well, I think it's, it makes for good.

Kevin Palmieri

(8:54) It makes for good content. (8:55) And when I say this is going to seem like I'm reaffirming what you're saying, but I was talking about how we're so very focused on character. (9:01) I just want to be a good man.(9:02) Ellen wants to be a good man. (9:03) That's it at the end of the day. (9:04) We want to be really good men.(9:05) That's important to us. (9:06) I don't mean that's it as in that's it, but yeah. (9:08) No, it's not it.(9:09) Yeah, definitely. (9:10) That's number one.

Alan Lazaros

(9:11) Yes, it's, it's, it's important.

Kevin Palmieri

(9:13) It's not it, but that's important to us.

Alan Lazaros

(9:15) I wish it was it. (9:16) Hey, we've done well. (9:17) I know we've done just fine.(9:19) Being a good man. (9:21) I think is very difficult when you have massive goals.

Kevin Palmieri

(9:24) I said that to Taryn today on the port. (9:27) We have an opportunity to work with a new client. (9:29) This client I believe is being taken advantage of by their current team.(9:33) Yeah. (9:34) And I said to Taryn, I said, I almost wish. (9:36) And then I stopped myself.(9:37) I said, that's not true. (9:37) I said, how much easier would it be if I was just like the person that they're working with? (9:42) And I was just, I was just ripping people off the worst.(9:45) It would be so much easier. (9:46) This whole thing would be so much easier. (9:47) And I'd feel terrible about myself.(9:48) I was on a podcast and we were talking about character. (9:51) And I said, I guarantee if Alan was here and you asked him, hey, what's the, what's the one time Kevin has the deepest shame around or regrets the most when he did something that was outside of his character? (10:07) I said, I guarantee Alan would have the answer guaranteed.

Alan Lazaros

(10:09) Yeah.

Kevin Palmieri

(10:10) Wine drunk. (10:11) Wine drunk, not being nice to our driver. (10:14) Yep.(10:14) A hundred percent. (10:15) It's not because I don't know who I am. (10:19) It's because I know exactly who I am and I don't do that type of shit.(10:22) A hundred percent. (10:23) So for me, I think the other way. (10:26) I think maybe.(10:27) Maybe. (10:29) Next level nation. (10:31) What is happening?(10:32) If you've thought to yourself, I want to try coaching, but you don't really know where to start. (10:37) Group coaching would be a wonderful place for you. (10:39) That's really why we created it in the first place.(10:42) We start a new round every 90 days. (10:45) So if you're hearing this, go to the website, next level universe.com. (10:49) And we have the landing page where you can actually hold your spot right now.(10:53) Even if there's a group going on right now, you can still lock your spot for the next one. (10:58) The biggest thing that we've seen is as we get closer and closer to the date, unfortunately, some people end up missing the group fills up and they can't do it. (11:06) And then they end up regretting that.(11:07) So please head over to the website. (11:09) The link will be in the show notes and we would love to see you there.

Alan Lazaros

(11:13) Can you hear my dog? (11:14) Definitely hear that? (11:15) Yeah.(11:16) It's all good. (11:17) It's all good. (11:17) No worries.(11:18) We're going to, we're going to roll right through it.

Kevin Palmieri

(11:19) It's all good. (11:19) No worries. (11:20) Tucker.

Alan Lazaros

(11:20) I just want to make sure he's okay. (11:21) So I need to listen. (11:23) If you want to go check, you can, I can hold space.(11:25) It's all good. (11:26) I think we're good.

Kevin Palmieri

(11:28) Yeah, we're good. (11:28) Okay. (11:31) Uh, I have no idea what we're talking about.(11:32) I was going to say, I can assume you nothing. (11:34) I said, landed at all. (11:34) You, I remember the wine drunk.(11:38) I think the opposite. (11:40) The reason that stands out to me so much is not because that told me who I was not. (11:45) I knew I, that's why it fucking pisses me off so much.(11:48) I know I'm so much better than that. (11:49) That's my point. (11:50) You know, you're not like that.(11:52) No, I know I am a different way.

Alan Lazaros

(11:55) It's the same. (11:55) It's duality. (11:56) It's not the same.(11:57) It's different. (11:58) No, no, no. (11:58) Hold on.(12:00) It's the same simultaneously. (12:03) You know who you are. (12:04) Therefore, you know who you are not.(12:06) And you know, you were being outside of alignment with who you really are.

Kevin Palmieri

(12:11) But can it really work that way from a place of starting? (12:17) It's both simultaneously. (12:19) It is back to yesterday's episode.

Alan Lazaros

(12:21) Yeah. (12:21) Yesterday's episode was on duality. (12:22) If you haven't listened, please go back and listen.(12:26) It is an important concept that I think we've never, I do think we articulated it pretty well, all things considered. (12:31) It's not an easy concept to, to break down. (12:35) But you go out in the world and you figure out who you are and who you're not.

Kevin Palmieri

(12:41) What percentage is it you think? (12:44) Oh, man. (12:45) 60, 40, at least who you are, right?

Alan Lazaros

(12:48) I think it probably starts out. (12:51) You don't know who you are at all. (12:53) 0% know who you are as a kid.(12:56) And then you go out into the world and you figure out who you are by doing things that are not aligned and then reflecting on it. (13:05) But then there's the whole turning point. (13:07) And again, I won't go down the rabbit hole with this because I know we don't have time, but there's this metaphor that I really like.(13:14) Imagine you draw a dot on the center of a piece of paper and then you draw a spiral outward and then all of a sudden, and for you, it was suicidal ideation on the side of a bed in New Jersey. (13:26) For me, it was my car accident. (13:27) All of a sudden you stop and you go, wait a minute, I've gotten too far from my true self.(13:34) I don't like my job. (13:35) I don't like my girlfriend or boyfriend. (13:37) I've gotten too far.(13:38) I don't like my life. (13:40) I don't like myself. (13:41) What the hell is going on?(13:42) And then you start drawing back and you get back to your essence. (13:45) And your essence, I always hold up this rock if you're on YouTube. (13:48) It's Dragonite.(13:49) And I always hold it up because it's like, I am a fucking engineer through and through. (13:56) Everything is by design. (13:59) And I got away from that for a time.(14:01) And I wasn't fulfilled. (14:03) I don't think you can be fulfilled without being who you are. (14:06) But again, to the point of this clarity, do you know who you are?(14:11) I do think this is a principle. (14:13) Think of the time when you were the most unfulfilled. (14:17) You were probably the farthest from who you really are, your essence.(14:20) And I think little kids know their essence and then they lose themselves in ego and status and bullshit and horseshit. (14:27) And then all of a sudden something happens. (14:29) You face mortality and then you go, oh, I'm done with that game.(14:33) I'm going to go back to my essence. (14:35) But now you're a grown ass man or woman. (14:37) And I feel very in my essence now.(14:40) I don't feel like I, I think it's hard to own. (14:43) We talked about belonging and all that. (14:45) But on the last episode of Duality, dude, I sounded like a unique human being.(14:54) And that's who I really am. (14:56) It's all in my brains all the time. (15:00) 24-7, 365.(15:01) That's how I think. (15:02) But no one knows that. (15:03) Why?(15:03) Because I, no one cares. (15:06) So I don't get to be full of you.

Kevin Palmieri

(15:07) I don't think it's just that. (15:08) I think it's, you haven't shared it because sharing it equals pain at times, right? (15:13) So it's like, is it worth sharing all the way?(15:16) For sure. (15:17) That was an interesting episode for me because it's like, I don't know that much about, I understand the concept and I think it's something I practice. (15:22) But if somebody said, explain it to me, I don't, I'm not there yet.

Alan Lazaros

(15:25) Well, Kev, eight years ago when we first started would have been too insecure to hang in that conversation and you probably would have made a joke or whatever. (15:32) And then I would have also felt your insecurity and I wouldn't have wanted to make you feel bad. (15:35) So I would have dialed back down and made some jokes.(15:38) And I think, and I like jokes, so let's not make that wrong, right?

Kevin Palmieri

(15:43) We have a lot of fun. (15:44) Well, jokes, it serves a purpose. (15:46) If it's a joke to be funny, that's one thing.(15:47) If it's a joke because you're insecure and you need to deflect, that's a different thing, right? (15:51) Exactly.

Alan Lazaros

(15:51) And sometimes we have to do that. (15:53) It was interesting. (15:55) You were always insecure about not being smart enough and I was always insecure about being too smart.(15:59) And so we've very much grown into who we're meant to be by you've gotten much smarter and I've learned how to own who I am more.

Kevin Palmieri

(16:09) And I feel good about owning when I don't know. (16:12) Yeah, which is awesome.

Alan Lazaros

(16:13) That's really nice.

Kevin Palmieri

(16:14) I feel good about, I did a podcast pre-call today and he's like, let me look through my notes to see what I wanted to talk to you about for the episode. (16:20) And I was like, yeah, your guess is as good as mine. (16:22) I don't even know what the, I don't even know why I'm here.(16:24) I have no idea why I'm here. (16:25) Not a clue. (16:26) No idea why I'm here.(16:28) This is a person that's a potential client now. (16:30) They're like, oh, we'd love to work with you. (16:32) Okay, cool.(16:34) That's cool. (16:35) Nice. (16:35) I think that if, okay, real quick, let's wrap it in a bow.(16:40) What are the three things you need to be clear on? (16:43) What are the three most important things to be clear on? (16:46) Yourself, others, and the world.(16:48) Okay, that was easier than I thought. (16:49) I was hoping for like a fucking framework, like character, competence, and fucking impact or something, you know? (16:55) No, you gotta have self-awareness.

Alan Lazaros

(16:57) You gotta be clear on who you really are, not who you think you are, who you wish you were. (17:02) And then you gotta have clarity on people, physiology, neuroscience, psychology, how it works, how people work, different types. (17:09) How do you get it?(17:10) How do you get clarity? (17:11) Just, just constant learning, just bludgeoning with anyone with kids in the room, put on headphones, turn this off.

Kevin Palmieri

(17:19) Also, just start wearing headphones all the time, if you're doing it. (17:23) Because we are going to swear, because I think we're, again, this part is...

Alan Lazaros

(17:26) This is more than that, though.

Kevin Palmieri

(17:27) I'm going to say the thing.

Alan Lazaros

(17:28) Oh, okay, okay, yeah, yeah. (17:29) So, but yes, real, so I'm going to give you a minute to turn this off, make sure your kids are not going to hear what I'm about to say, okay? (17:36) All right.(17:36) I do believe personal development is, Santa Claus isn't real on repeat.

Kevin Palmieri

(17:42) Yeah.

Alan Lazaros

(17:42) And neither is the Easter Bunny, and neither is the Tooth Fairy, and neither is, like, that's, that's how you learn what's real. (17:50) There's how people want you to believe it works. (17:52) Like, let's, let's talk about that, uh, client who's getting taken advantage of.(17:56) The person wants that person to believe, so it's what they want the person to believe it works, how it works, and then it's how they think it works, and then it's how it really works. (18:05) Everything is that. (18:06) Everything is how I want you to, how I want you to think it works, how I want it to work, how I wish it worked, and then how it really works.(18:14) How it really works is where all the gold is, and no one is, I don't want to say no one, very few people are, are able to get to that core clarity.

Kevin Palmieri

(18:25) Well, it's because there's so much, there's so much bullshit out there. (18:28) So much. (18:28) I said to somebody today, and then we'll get out of here, I said, uh, if you use it for marketing, it most likely isn't true.(18:36) If, if you can say, like, this makes for really good marketing, like, uh, people will get, they'll be vibing with this, this will be it, they'll, it most likely isn't true, it's just the highlights, most likely. (18:47) It's not the whole story, that I would say. (18:49) It's definitely not the, it's the high, it's the tip of the iceberg, it's not the whole story.(18:53) And it's the, it's the positive tip of the iceberg. (18:55) What about you, Clarity? (18:56) Wrap it up.(18:57) Oh, my goodness. (19:00) Awareness is everything, you know, all awareness is, is clarity, about who you are, about what you want to do, about what you're good at, about what you're not, about, I would connect it to self-awareness. (19:09) I would say the more clear you are on who you are and why you feel that you are the, the way you are and all of that stuff, what do you run towards?(19:16) What do you run from? (19:17) What are you excited about? (19:18) What do you regret?(19:19) What do you look for? (19:20) All of that shit. (19:21) Those questions are invaluable, if you can answer those questions.(19:25) All right. (19:25) Cool. (19:26) All right.(19:27) Next of the nation, private Facebook group, there's a meetup coming up, we have the Dream Liner, Ellen has coaching, if you're a podcaster, I know there's a small segment of you, reach out, I'm happy to answer any questions you got. (19:35) Okay, cool. (19:36) As always, we love you, appreciate you, grateful for each and every one of you.(19:39) If you want to get to the next level, as much as you say, if you are as committed as you say, make sure you tune in tomorrow, because we will be here every single day to help you get there. (19:49) Keep reaching for your full potential. (19:51) Next of the nation.(19:54) Thanks for joining us for another episode of Next Level University. (19:58) We love connecting with the Next Level family.

Alan Lazaros

(20:01) We mean it when we say family. (20:03) If you ever need anything, please reach out to us directly. (20:06) Everything you need to get ahold of us is in the show notes.

Kevin Palmieri

(20:09) Thank you again, and we will talk to you tomorrow.