Why Self-Worth And Goals Don’t Mix (2160)

Are your goals quietly chipping away at your self-worth? In today’s honest and eye-opening episode, Kevin and Alan share the truth about balancing ambition with self-respect. From saying “yes” to everything in the early days to learning when to walk away, they reveal the lessons, mistakes, and mindset shifts that helped them grow without losing themselves. You’ll learn how to spot the “danger zone” where goals come at the cost of respect, and how to choose opportunities that serve both your vision and your values.

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Show notes:
(4:02) How goals give the world leverage
(6:34) Win-win scenarios Vs. Win-lose pay
(8:36) Losses outnumber wins in success
(12:59) Why the alternative is often worse
(14:36) Meet your people. Chase your dreams. Level up your life with Next Level Group Coaching. https://www.nextleveluniverse.com/group-coaching/
(20:38) The quadrant: Goals Vs. Self-respect
(23:03) The trade-off of higher goals
(26:40) Outro 

🎙️ Hosted by Kevin Palmieri and Alan Lazaros

Next Level University is a top-ranked daily podcast for dream chasers and self-improvement lovers. With over 2,100 episodes, we help you level up in life, love, health, and wealth one day at a time. Subscribe for real, honest, no-fluff growth every single day.

Chapters

• 4:02 How goals give the world leverage
• 6:34 Win-win scenarios Vs. Win-lose pay
• 8:36 Losses outnumber wins in success
• 12:59 Why the alternative is often worse
• 14:36 Meet your people. Chase your dreams. Level up your life with Next Level Group Coaching.
• 20:38 The quadrant: Goals Vs. Self-respect
• 23:03 The trade-off of higher goals
• 26:40 Outro

Transcript

Kevin Palmieri

(0:00) One of the worst ways to maintain self-worth and self-respect is by setting massive goals. (0:08) And if you have no goals and you're wandering around, long term you might actually lose self-respect. (0:15) Welcome to Next Level University.(0:18) I'm your host, Kevin Palmieri. (0:20) And I'm your co-host, Alan Lazarus. (0:23) At NLU, we believe in a heart-driven but no-BS approach to holistic self-improvement for dream chasers.(0:29) Our goal with every episode is to help you level up your life, love, health, and wealth. (0:36) We bring you a new episode every single day on topics like confidence, self-belief, self-worth, self-awareness, relationships, boundaries, consistency, habits, and defining your own unique version of success. (0:52) Self-improvement, in your pocket, every day, from anywhere, completely free.(0:58) Welcome to Next Level University. (1:04) Next Level Nation today for episode number 2,160. (1:09) Why self-worth and goals don't mix.(1:12) I told Alan this the other day. (1:14) I think it was yesterday or two days ago. (1:16) I said, I'm so grateful that we are in a place of financial abundance because we have clients who are a pain in the butt.(1:26) And today, I was able to give them a certain level of truth and just a certain level of honesty because I'm not afraid that they're going to leave. (1:36) When in the beginning, and again, I still, it's my job to keep the clients happy, right? (1:42) So, I'm not saying I'm going to tell them to pound sand, but it's not if they ask me to jump, I say how high, it's more, hey, you guys got to jump with me too.(1:51) I can't do all the jumping, that's not fair. (1:53) In the beginning, it's literally like, what do you need? (1:57) What is it that you need?(1:59) What can I do for you? (2:00) You want to do a call at seven o'clock on a Saturday in the morning? (2:03) Done.(2:03) I'm there. (2:04) I'm there. (2:05) As a matter of fact, I would have been sitting in the office by myself waiting for you anyway.(2:09) I'm there.

Alan Lazaros

(2:09) Yeah, I'm there.

Kevin Palmieri

(2:10) I don't have a life, don't even worry about it. (2:11) Yeah, the beginning is terrible. (2:13) Or, well, I was really hoping I'd be able to get this with that package.(2:20) Done. (2:20) What else? (2:21) Anything else?

Alan Lazaros

(2:22) What else is it that you need?

Kevin Palmieri

(2:23) Done. (2:24) Done. (2:25) That stuff.(2:27) So, from an honest perspective, when you set a goal- Are you here, Tucker? (2:31) Oh, Tucker is freaking out right now. (2:34) It's okay.(2:36) Look, you have a family. (2:38) I do. (2:39) Cats don't make almost any noise, but Tucker, he's loud.(2:42) Yeah, he is. (2:43) It's okay. (2:44) It's all right.(2:45) Is he okay? (2:46) I think so. (2:47) I'm going to power it through.(2:49) It sounds like he's trying to break into- It sounds like a frustrated bark. (2:54) Yeah, but I think he hears the people outside, the landscapers. (2:58) That must be it.(2:59) Either that or we have this real quick side tangent, not valuable for anyone. (3:03) Perfect. (3:03) We have a bird feeder on the deck, right?(3:05) There's a squirrel. (3:06) This is the most persistent squirrel I've ever seen in my entire life. (3:09) This squirrel is a magician at getting bird feeders the food.(3:14) Never quit squirrel. (3:16) For sure. (3:17) For sure.(3:18) And Tucker is on guard for the squirrel every morning. (3:24) He is the squirrel protector. (3:26) Okay.(3:27) FYI. (3:28) Shout out. (3:28) Shout out to- So maybe the squirrel's on the bird feeder and he's downstairs barking.(3:32) That's very possible. (3:33) Okay. (3:33) Well, hopefully one day he'll get it.(3:37) I want him to scare the squirrel away. (3:39) I don't want him to- The squirrel is not afraid at all, very clearly. (3:42) No, no, he is.(3:43) Of Tucker, for sure. (3:44) But not unless we let him out on the deck. (3:46) Right, right, right.(3:47) He knows- So we let him out on the deck. (3:48) There's a little dog protector, doggy door, so he can't run amuck in the street and stuff. (3:52) But he can scare the squirrel off and then- What are your thoughts on getting into the fucking episode?(3:59) Let's do it. (4:02) Okay. (4:02) Why does it feel like at times you're trading self-worth and self-respect for goals?(4:10) As someone who is a literal expert at this, why is it seen that way? (4:17) The moment you set a goal, the moment you set a goal, the world has leverage on you. (4:27) What's a good example of this?(4:29) No, go more into that. (4:30) Because that's a really good way- I don't know if there's a better one sentence phrase that explains it than that. (4:37) What does that mean?(4:37) The world has leverage on you. (4:38) What does that mean? (4:40) Okay.(4:41) So if you set a goal to make a certain amount of money this month, now all of a sudden you must be subservient to that goal. (4:50) A.K.A. you need to do Uber Eats or DoorDash or go on Fiverr or- you basically need to go serve in order to generate that revenue. (5:03) And there's nothing wrong with that, but usually what the economy pays for is not what's meaningful.(5:10) One of the reasons you and I- Okay, you thought I was really dumb back in the day when I would landscape on the side for money when I could have easily made $500 an hour consulting. (5:23) It still blows my mind. (5:24) It still blows my mind.(5:25) Okay, let's unpack it for a second, okay? (5:28) Yeah, for fuck's sake. (5:29) All right, so why did I do that?(5:32) It was my friend's mother who I value and respect deeply. (5:35) She needed help and I would do anything not to go back to corporate. (5:40) For me, that felt like going back to corporate.(5:42) It felt like quitting. (5:44) And for me, I said, I drew a line in the sand. (5:46) I'm not going back.(5:47) I'm going to be at the top of this fucking mountain or dead on the side of it with a smile. (5:51) And for me, I had to find a way that was aligned. (5:55) Now back then, I was fitness modeling, fitness competitions, fitness coach.(6:00) And I was out in the hot sun for an entire Sunday doing this backyard landscaping, carrying heavy-ass rocks, and burning tons of calories. (6:09) So that was actually aligned with most of my goals. (6:12) I integrated all my goals into one, made, I think, $200.(6:15) And I got to serve in the process. (6:17) And I got to serve in a way that, yeah, wasn't super economical. (6:21) I mean, if I break it down amount per hour, probably $10 an hour or something, which again, in Massachusetts is not a lot.(6:27) It's below minimum wage, depending on where you live. (6:30) But my point is, is that it was a win-win-win-win-win-win scenario. (6:34) I believe that life is about finding a win-win-win-win-win-win-win scenario.(6:39) Usually when you get paid a lot, it's a win-lose. (6:42) Usually, not always. (6:43) And that's why it's so hard to build a personal brand in a business, because the work that sucks the most is usually the work that you get paid for.(6:51) So I was on with a CPA earlier, Certified Financial Planner, CFP. (6:58) He did CPA and CFP. (7:00) The point is, he's very, very wealthy.(7:03) He's a very wealthy man, I can tell. (7:04) Not fake wealthy, actually wealthy. (7:06) It's crazy that I even have to say that.(7:08) But the point that I'm making is, he spent probably 15, 20 years doing something that the majority of people would consider boring. (7:17) So when you set a goal, you have to then go do shit you don't want to do that sometimes hurts your self-respect. (7:23) But it's micro self-respect hits for macro W's.(7:29) But is it? (7:30) Like imagine back in the day, okay? (7:32) Eight years ago, seven years ago, six years ago, whatever.(7:34) You get your first client, awesome. (7:36) You had clients before that because you started coaching, but let's say the first podcast production client. (7:41) It was 2019.(7:46) Okay, 2019, first client, awesome. (7:49) They say jump, you say how high. (7:50) You went to this dude's house six times to try to get this done.(7:54) Was that hurting your self-respect? (7:56) It had to a little bit. (7:58) And that's okay.(7:59) No, I don't think it did. (8:00) Okay, well, it was aligned. (8:01) That was aligned.(8:03) Can you give me an example of something you did that in hindsight hurt your self-respect? (8:09) I went to Connecticut to help somebody set up their podcast studio and they quit their podcast like two weeks later. (8:18) And I was like, that was a waste of my fucking time.(8:21) And waste of my fucking money. (8:23) You and I talked about this off air. (8:26) When you are trying to achieve goals that are high, let's just presuppose everyone out there listening has challenging goals, okay?(8:36) If that's the case, the amount of L's that you take, losses that you take will always be greater than the wins. (8:44) How many losses have you taken in the last eight years? (8:49) Like L's, lost a client, got rejected, didn't fill an event.(8:54) I mean, how many L's? (8:57) One a day average. (8:59) I feel like you could comfortably say one a day average.(9:02) All right, so let's do this. (9:03) So eight years in business, 2,920 losses. (9:11) I feel like that is accurate.(9:12) L's, like tough L's, right? (9:14) Not just the little ones, but tough L's. (9:15) Yeah, yeah, yeah.(9:16) Of the 2,920 losses, that is how Kevin and I had $100,000 a month. (9:26) Without those 2,920 losses that we had to push through and fight through and go back to the drawing board, go back to the drawing board, go back to the drawing board, go back to the whiteboard, go back to PPT, redesign, redesign, team member, for eight years. (9:42) Every loss was an opportunity to tweak, pivot, change something.(9:47) Not quit, not quit, pivot. (9:50) And all those losses lead to successes. (9:55) If you take 100 shots, you make 30 of them, and 10 of them are three-pointers, and two of them end up on CNN or whatever.(10:04) That's like the, and again, it's not two, it's three. (10:06) But I like 100, 30, 10, 3, 1. (10:11) 100 shots.(10:12) Most people focus on the 70 misses, not the 30 hits. (10:15) And that's what fucks with your self-worth. (10:18) Baseball's the best metaphor in the game for that.(10:20) Hall of Fame if you're 30%, right? (10:22) 30% batting average. (10:23) Yeah, but imagine if you just played the first season and you didn't know what the normal was.(10:27) You'd feel terrible, probably. (10:29) Agreed, yeah. (10:29) And that's why we try to level set expectations.(10:31) I know, I know. (10:32) And that's why group coaching is so good, because we get podcasters in a room and we say, hey, just so you know, we were naive, but we don't want you to come into this naive. (10:42) How do you know if it's hurting your self-worth?(10:45) Because I don't know if this is something that... (10:48) I don't know if I would have recognized this if we weren't having conversations about it. (10:52) I was like, I feel like shit about myself, but I didn't know what it was.(10:57) I just thought that was brothers. (11:00) I just thought that was the way I feel. (11:02) Well, let me psychoanalyze you for a second.(11:05) I love this. (11:06) Okay, when you were younger, Yeah. (11:10) I think you had self-respect hit, a self-respect hit from having micro wins that you stack, but macro loss.(11:22) So you used to struggle with pornography, you struggled with all these things. (11:26) Okay, so you were taking quick wins at the expense of self-respect. (11:31) I would say that's fair.(11:32) Okay, okay. (11:33) Now you flip the script. (11:35) Now those 2,920 L's all hurt your self-respect, but gained something greater.(11:41) So it's micro failure for macro self-respect. (11:45) When you couldn't buy Christmas presents for Taryn, that was the ultimate, you are a fucking failure self-respect hit. (11:53) But unfortunately, if you weren't willing to get through that, I don't think we'd be where we are today.(12:00) And that's the hard truth about success is, Okay. (12:04) You have to go to rock bottom and survive it in order to... (12:07) What do we say to someone right now who is still in the phase where they are trading goals for self-worth?(12:12) Because we're, again, we still are to a degree, but it's different because one, it doesn't affect my self-worth as much as it once did for sure, because of the practice. (12:22) Two, we are able to choose more than we ever have, but we're still very much on the low end of we still do a lot of stuff that... (12:32) We literally have to have conversations of, Is this just for goals or is this going to affect self-worth?(12:37) Do we even care? (12:37) That's a common conversation we have. (12:41) What is...(12:42) How does somebody... (12:45) How do we convince the person on the other side of the speaker that it's worth potentially doing that? (12:51) First question.(12:52) And then second question, How do they know if they even should? (12:59) You got to ask me one question at a time. (13:00) I'm grateful.(13:01) This is awesome. (13:02) But I just don't want to go macro. (13:04) I appreciate it.(13:05) I want to start with the second one. (13:09) How does somebody know if they should even do this? (13:12) The alternative is worse.(13:14) And here's how I know. (13:15) Imagine you in 20 years, anyone, no matter what age you are, you're going to regret not giving more because you're going to end up driving what you don't want to drive, living where you don't want to live, not being able to afford whatever. (13:30) If you don't build a career or a business or find your calling meaningful work, you're basically fucked long term.(13:38) And then you're going to rely on other people, which is going to hurt your self-respect. (13:42) Right, right. (13:42) So to me...(13:43) Okay. (13:44) Okay. (13:45) Yeah.(13:45) Okay. (13:46) Next question. (13:48) How...(13:50) For us, it's been an iterative process. (13:53) I can't say that word for the life of me. (13:56) Okay.(13:57) For us, it has been an iterative process. (13:59) I think I said it right. (14:01) But we were pretty aware of it because we both felt like shit a lot.(14:05) And it was like, dude, I don't know. (14:08) Do we have any self-worth? (14:09) I don't think we do.(14:10) Upon further examination, I don't think we have almost any self-worth. (14:13) What do you think now? (14:14) I feel like it's good now.(14:15) Better. (14:15) No, no. (14:16) What do you think about us back then?(14:17) Definitely not.

Alan Lazaros

(14:18) No, a hundred percent. (14:19) Crazy low.

Kevin Palmieri

(14:19) Yeah, crazy low. (14:21) Now, did that help us or hurt us? (14:22) That's the question.(14:23) I think it helped us a ton and it started to hurt us. (14:27) And that's when we started working on it. (14:28) Yep.(14:29) When are you supposed to start working on it? (14:31) Are you just conscious of the fact that you're burning the candle on both ends, for lack of better phrasing? (14:37) Next Level Nation, what is happening?(14:40) If you've thought to yourself, I want to try coaching, but you don't really know where to start, group coaching would be a wonderful place for you. (14:47) That's really why we created it in the first place. (14:49) We start a new round every 90 days.(14:52) So if you're hearing this, go to the website nextleveluniverse.com and we have the landing page where you can actually hold your spot right now. (15:01) Even if there's a group going on right now, you can still lock your spot for the next one. (15:05) The biggest thing that we've seen is as we get closer and closer to the date, unfortunately, some people end up missing.(15:12) The group fills up and they can't do it and then they end up regretting that. (15:15) So please head over to the website. (15:17) The link will be in the show notes and we would love to see you there.(15:21) When this comes down to optimal performance, high performance, peak performance, all of these have to do with too much, too little. (15:30) Remember the nachos? (15:31) Put them in too long, they burn, put them, okay.(15:34) So optimal stopping problem, it got to a point where self-worth was the bottleneck. (15:40) Because we had already proven ourselves. (15:41) Going back to our conquering the constraints episode.(15:44) Exactly. (15:45) So self-worth became the constraint. (15:49) Okay, in the past, low self-worth was your superpower.(15:52) Same with me. (15:53) We'll interview anyone. (15:54) Hey, we'll do anything.(15:55) We'll drive three hours for one interview. (15:58) You don't even have to be that worthy. (16:00) But that actually is a win in the early days because you're getting reps, getting reps.(16:04) It's like an actor who goes on 500 auditions and it's going to take any no-name movie. (16:09) But when you already prove yourself and you've been in 50 movies, now it's time to actually be like, hey, you know what? (16:15) I'm not actually going to do that movie.(16:18) Matt Damon talked about this. (16:19) He said, I did a movie. (16:20) It was some vampire movie.(16:21) I don't even know if anyone's ever heard of it because it was so atrociously bad. (16:25) But he talks about, so he won an Academy Award one of his very first movies with Good Will Hunting. (16:29) He talks about how he signed up for this film.(16:32) They paid him like something crazy, like two or three million dollars, which back then is crazy for an early actor. (16:37) He was like 27 or something. (16:39) And he said, I flew my whole family out.(16:42) We were living abroad and it was the worst fucking script. (16:46) It was the worst movie. (16:47) It was amateur hour.(16:48) You ever seen Van Helsing? (16:50) I've never seen, no, I've never seen. (16:51) I know of it.(16:52) The movie, I was a kid and I liked it when I was a kid, but it's an atrocious film. (16:56) It's terrible. (16:58) And it's like comically bad, right?(17:02) And basically Matt Damon was saying, I'm done with dumb fucking movies. (17:09) But it's easy for you to say Matt Damon. (17:11) Of course, of course, you already won an Academy Award with your first film.(17:14) You're an anomaly, dude. (17:16) So you can't say that. (17:18) When I was in LA, there was a lot of broke actors that I hung out with.(17:21) Seriously, okay? (17:23) And they would all smoke weed and talk. (17:25) And it's like, one of them was in an entourage.(17:27) One of them did this no name thing. (17:29) And it's like, yo, y'all need to go on more auditions. (17:32) You guys have inflated self-worth.(17:34) If I was an actor, I'd be fucking running circles around you guys because I would just go. (17:38) Whatever film, what do you need? (17:39) Short film.(17:40) Now, eventually it would be like, hey man, you probably should fucking. (17:44) Yeah, Brad Pitt's not doing Cottonelle commercials for toilet paper. (17:48) 100%.(17:50) There's an optimal amount of self-belief and self-worth. (17:53) In the beginning, it's all self-belief. (17:54) No one believes in you yet.(17:55) So you just got to spray and pray, baby. (17:58) And then as you gain traction, you're going to have to know your worth a little more. (18:02) But if I suddenly charge 50 grand per client, that's how you lose all your clients.(18:07) But if I choose $5 per client, we go broke and we lose. (18:11) It's always an optimal stopping problem at all times. (18:13) And this is why it's so hard.(18:14) Because as you get older and older and older, you're supposed to increase your self-worth and self-respect. (18:20) But you can't inflate it to where now you think you deserve better and you start just losing clients. (18:26) That's how you go out of business.(18:27) One of the reasons we noticed this as well as we did is because we would work with or partner with people that we just learned pretty quickly were just not good people. (18:42) Just not... (18:43) Yeah, just like, meh.(18:45) Entitled. (18:46) Entitled, toxic. (18:48) Spoiled brats.(18:49) Spoiled brats. (18:50) But the reason we partnered with them is because it helped us... (18:53) It was like, oh, this is going to help us get to our goal.(18:57) The one thing we never did though, honestly...

Alan Lazaros

(18:59) Real quick.

Kevin Palmieri

(19:00) In hindsight, did it ever help us get to our goal? (19:02) I think it helped us... (19:04) Yeah.(19:05) Learn our value.

Alan Lazaros

(19:06) But I think it helped...

Kevin Palmieri

(19:07) Well, we did some things that we wouldn't have... (19:11) Maybe we wouldn't have done as soon. (19:13) I think it was...(19:14) Yeah, I think there were stepping stones. (19:15) Yeah. (19:16) Yeah, yeah, yeah.(19:16) I think so. (19:17) In hindsight, I think we were under in self-worth. (19:22) I agree.(19:22) And self-respect. (19:23) Yeah. (19:23) I think we would have been fine if we didn't do it.(19:25) I'll put it that way.

Alan Lazaros

(19:26) We would have got to...

Kevin Palmieri

(19:26) I know we got to go real quick, but I want to share this. (19:28) Number one, I want to apologize if you can hear, Tucker. (19:30) Sorry about that.(19:31) Number two, I have a digital asset that I just created, Kev, of goals and self-respect. (19:37) So the upper right quadrant is it's good for goals and good for self-respect. (19:41) Now, am I credited on that?(19:44) No. (19:45) That's fucked up. (19:46) Why?(19:47) I helped you with that. (19:49) You did not. (19:49) That was my fucking idea.

Alan Lazaros

(19:52) I did this on Book Club.

Kevin Palmieri

(19:52) To make a quadrant of self-worth. (19:55) No, no, no, that's different. (19:57) This is goals on the X.(19:59) This isn't self-worth, self-belief. (20:00) Okay. (20:00) No, no, no, no.(20:01) Remember... (20:02) You're on that one. (20:02) No, no.(20:02) Remember I said we have to have a thing if it's good for goals and good for self-worth. (20:09) That's fucked up. (20:09) That is after I already did it on Book Club.(20:11) That's not a chance. (20:13) I brought this, I swear to you, I brought this up and you were like, dude, that's fire. (20:18) Okay, well...(20:19) Then he fucking stole it. (20:20) Did you hear that? (20:21) If you're here, you're witnessing...(20:23) Brother, it says next level university on it. (20:26) You're fine. (20:27) I need...(20:28) You want to go sign it?

Alan Lazaros

(20:29) Yeah, I'm going to sign it.

Kevin Palmieri

(20:30) Sign Kevin Palmieri.

Alan Lazaros

(20:31) Please.

Kevin Palmieri

(20:31) Yeah. (20:32) All right, real quick. (20:33) On the X-axis, it says goals.(20:35) On the Y-axis, it says self-respect.

Alan Lazaros

(20:37) Yeah.

Kevin Palmieri

(20:38) If it's good for goals and self-respect, then it's green. (20:41) That's a fuck yes. (20:43) Or a hell yes, if you don't want to swear around your children.(20:45) All right. (20:46) The upper left quadrant is good for self-respect, bad for goals. (20:50) This is the maybe you should for me.(20:52) I never do that. (20:54) You want to go for a walk? (20:55) It's really sunny out.(20:56) Nope, not good for goals. (20:58) Unless I'm in a cut, in which case let's do it in a sweatsuit. (21:01) All right.(21:02) Bottom left is not good for goals, not good for self-respect. (21:05) That's a definitely don't. (21:07) Binge drink on the weekends.(21:09) Like those are bad choices. (21:11) You might as well just big red letters, bad fucking choices in the bottom left. (21:14) Bad for self-respect, bad for goals.(21:17) Bottom right, this is the danger zone. (21:20) Bottom right is good for goals, bad for self-respect. (21:24) That's the danger zone because that's what you and I would do.(21:26) For sure. (21:27) Dude, you and I partially got here because of that. (21:30) We grew up with no entitlement.(21:33) You didn't have a dad. (21:35) My stepdad left. (21:36) I went from Xbox, Dreamcast, yachts, boats, and ski trips to I can't even go to fucking college because we don't have any money.(21:44) And I didn't have cable. (21:46) I went to Salvation Army for shopping. (21:48) I was broke as a joke.(21:51) And that saved my life in a way because it got me to realize it got rid of all entitlement. (21:57) If there was ever any spoiled brat in me, my dad's death and my stepfather leaving ripped that rug out from under me. (22:04) As an entitled American, like most Americans in the biggest economy, they have this like, I deserve more shit.(22:10) And you and I just don't. (22:12) That's one of the reasons we were able to get here. (22:14) We wanted to earn every penny.(22:15) Now, that has constraining effects long term if you don't ever have self-worth. (22:21) And Emilia is the reason we figured that out because she's the one who called me out and said, you guys, why are you interviewing that fucking person? (22:27) You're better than them.(22:29) We need one. (22:29) We need one.

Alan Lazaros

(22:30) Yeah, exactly. (22:31) We need one.

Kevin Palmieri

(22:32) But the truth is we were way more next level than those people. (22:35) It wasn't even close. (22:36) And we just didn't know it because we didn't know our value.(22:39) And I still think we're working through that. (22:41) We are. (22:41) But ultimately, the bottom right is low self-respect, good for goals, bad for self-respect.(22:48) You got to be careful. (22:49) Maybe you shouldn't. (22:51) So that's the quadrant of like danger zone.(22:53) Maybe you shouldn't do it. (22:56) Cool. (22:57) All right.(22:58) What's the one takeaway outside of the fact that you left me off of the fucking asset? (23:03) The one takeaway is the higher your goals are, the harder it's going to be to hang on to your self-respect in the short term. (23:13) But you may become the man or woman that you've always dreamed of being.(23:18) Mine would be this is why it is so you have to be so careful to listen to people who have high, overly high self-worth because they're going to tell you, make sure you know your value and then add tax. (23:29) It's like, look, I understand intrinsically you're a valuable person. (23:33) If you're a podcast coach and you're just starting, you're going up against me.(23:37) That's it. (23:38) That is what it is. (23:39) And if I charge less than you, I'm going to win 100% that brother, you have done such a good job at that.(23:47) You have always seen entitlement quicker than I do. (23:50) I can't fucking stand it. (23:52) I'm so proud.(23:52) Dude, that has changed. (23:54) I can't stand it. (23:55) I can't buy in the scenes.(23:56) Kev would be like, I can't fucking stand that person. (23:58) I'd be like, what do you mean? (23:59) You knew they were full of shit.(24:01) And here's the truth. (24:02) They were full of shit. (24:03) I had no idea they were full of shit because they sounded like me.(24:06) I remember this is a really good example. (24:08) Then we'll get out of here. (24:08) We were doing a venue tour with somebody that we were going to partner up with on an event.(24:13) And this hotel had cookies. (24:16) It was one of their things. (24:17) It's like they have warm cookies.(24:19) And this person we were with lost their shit on the person behind the desk because they didn't have warm cookies. (24:24) And I remember thinking, what the fuck is wrong with you? (24:28) It's complimentary.(24:29) This is not a big deal. (24:31) This is not a big deal. (24:32) And by the way, that person did zero work.(24:37) A rounding error of zero work for the event. (24:40) And if I could go back, I would never in a million years work with that person again. (24:45) That was the moment where I was like, I'm good with this person.(24:48) We don't ever have to see you again. (24:50) We don't ever have to talk to you again. (24:51) I wish you had the self-worth to tell me that so that we could can that shit and move on.(24:54) Yeah, but you would have said, well, goals. (24:56) No, no, you don't know that. (24:58) I have listened to you more than I should.(25:00) Yeah, but I don't think that would have been one of them. (25:02) You needed the courage. (25:03) I think it would have been.(25:05) Well, that's a lesson. (25:06) That's a lesson for all of us, right? (25:08) That's a lesson.(25:08) And imagine if that person. (25:10) I have listened to you always, man, when you bring stuff up. (25:12) And I always question it sometimes and I push back.(25:14) I mean, this was 2020 though, you know. (25:17) I was listening to you back then. (25:18) Yeah, maybe too much, but that was probably at the too much phase.(25:21) You should have told me. (25:22) But this is why it's so, this is why you have to be careful where you get your advice. (25:25) Because there's some people out there that are like, oh no, you should charge way more.(25:28) I'm not, no, nobody is going to pay you $500 an hour because you woke up, flipped a coin and it landed on $500 an hour. (25:38) 100%. (25:39) You go down, you go down to the pizza shop, you walk in, you say, hey, I need a slice of za.(25:44) Awesome came to the right place. (25:46) How much is it for a whole pie? (25:49) Five, $5.94. Okay. (25:52) A hundred? (25:53) Yes. (25:54) Why?(25:55) Just decided. (25:56) Just decided. (25:57) That's it.(25:57) By the way. (25:58) All right. (25:59) I'm gonna, I'm gonna order Domino's.(26:00) Yes, I'm gonna order Domino's. (26:01) And also we're going out of business because nobody's buying our pizza. (26:05) It's not worth $595.(26:07) There is no pizza on earth that is worth $595. (26:11) All right, cool. (26:12) Book club every Saturday, 1230.(26:14) It's pretty intense. (26:16) This podcast has gotten more intense recently because we're just leaning into it. (26:19) Look, you want to get 1% better every day.(26:21) We're going to be here to help you do it. (26:22) And sometimes it's going to be tough conversations. (26:24) They are reading Willpower by Roy F.(26:26) Baumeister, Baumeister and John Tierney. (26:29) That's the book in book club. (26:31) Willpower.

Alan Lazaros

(26:32) Next level. (26:33) World class book.

Kevin Palmieri

(26:33) World class book. (26:34) Next level Dreamliner. (26:35) If you want to journal your way to 1% improvement every single day, it's on Amazon.(26:38) We'll have it in the show notes below. (26:40) As always, we love you. (26:41) We appreciate you.(26:42) Grateful for each and every one of you. (26:43) And if you are as committed to getting to the next level as you say you are, make sure you tune in tomorrow because we will be here every single day to help get you there. (26:51) Keep reaching for your full potential.(26:54) Next level nation. (26:57) Thanks for joining us for another episode of Next Level University. (27:01) We love connecting with the Next Level family.(27:03) We mean it when we say family. (27:05) If you ever need anything, please reach out to us directly. (27:09) Everything you need to get a hold of us is in the show notes.(27:12) Thank you again and we will talk to you tomorrow.